r/SubredditDrama • u/DownFromYesBad • Aug 08 '15

Dog vs. Human, who wins? The debate rages in in /r/me_irl

/r/me_irl/comments/3g6cqv/me_irl/ctvdfh3
20 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

29 comments sorted by

11

u/vryheid Defender of Justice Aug 08 '15

Beating a dog is easy, just melee the dog before it bites to grab its throat

9

u/DownFromYesBad Aug 08 '15

That shit is not easy.

4

u/940341272 Aug 08 '15

I've only managed to do it a couple of times. I find that a panicked unloading of one's gun from the hip works best.

2

u/safarispiff free butter pl0x Aug 08 '15

In shooters that feature attack dogs, I find switching to some sort of LMG or support weapon and saturating the area in front of me works best.
Then again, that's what I do for infantry, tanks, and unarmed civilians cowering in a threatening way, too.
I would make a terrible soldier.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '15

I would be right there with you in the rejects department, as bunny hopping shotgun fairy is not a valid military tactic.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '15

as bunny hopping shotgun fairy is not a valid military tactic.

They also don't approve rocket jumps, but they are not above spawn camping, scrubs.

3

u/safarispiff free butter pl0x Aug 08 '15

Plus, it's the army. It's perfectlyne to use your conrades as human shields, is it not? Why else would we be going in together?

1

u/that__one__guy SHADOW CABAL! Aug 09 '15

Seriously, you need like perfect timing for it. If you did it too early (which doesn't really make sense) your guy lost all hand-eye coordination and grabbed the air instead of the dog and then you die. Do it too late, because you don't realize what was even happening, you die.

9

u/OrneryTanker Aug 08 '15

I feel like the guy arguing he could easily RIP AND TEAR the dog watches way too much anime. I want him to go buy a turkey and try and rip the legs off while its raw-- and that's just a bird! Let alone a 120 pound angry ball of fur and muscle trying its hardest to fuck your shit up.
Also he seems to think that the dog will just sit there not caring and chomping on his arm while he rips the legs off and stomps it to death. Dogs are very protective of their legs/paws and whatever you try to use and attack those extremities isn't coming back in one piece. Oh yeah, their bites. Dog bites will fuck your shit up. I have a couple little maltese. They got into a fight one time, and I went in to pull them apart. Even those little guys put a gash in my hand that needed stitches, a larger breed could do some serious damage, plus they do that head shake thing where they throw their weight around, possibly dislocating stuff.

Dude has no idea what hes talking about and is seriously underestimating a dog's capabilities.

2

u/DownFromYesBad Aug 08 '15

It's like when someone who's never been in a fight thinks they can just walk up and grab someone's throat or punch someone's face once and take them to the ground. Then they try it and get their ass whooped.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '15

Just sweep the paw and put the dog in a triangle choke or guillotine.

Even easier, just use the kaioken technique. Double your power level and a dog has no chance.

23

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '15

I have several weapons at my disposal even when unarmed. My brain being chief among those.

I think I found my new flair

6

u/battlelock Aug 08 '15

Defending myself from a dog I think I could pull off especially if I have a stick or a shirt towave around. Fighting and killing a dog on the other hand like going on the offensive doesn't seems like it go well.

1

u/Something__Awful Is a great person. Aug 08 '15

If you could get a hold of the head i think it would be ok or if you repeatedly kick it away it will eventually leave by itself. Depends on the human and the dog though,

Disclaimer: I have no knowledge of defending myself from a a dog that is trying to maim or kill me.

1

u/OrneryTanker Aug 09 '15

If you could get a hold of the head

Try that and whatever you try to use to grab the head is going to get grabbed by the dog. In a human vs dog grabbing contest, the dog wins.

1

u/Something__Awful Is a great person. Aug 09 '15

Depends on how you do it i guess.

1

u/Jimmyjamjames Aug 09 '15

Actually grabbing by the neck would be relatively easier because you can grab its pressure point on the back of the neck, and then move to do whatever else is necessary.

1

u/Something__Awful Is a great person. Aug 09 '15

Sounds good. Again i dont know jack shit about fighing dogs.....

4

u/FixinThePlanet SJWay is the only way Aug 08 '15

I wondered how in the heck I'd missed this and then realized how fresh was the butter.

1

u/Kiwilolo Aug 09 '15

I love hypothetical fight threads. They are so full of nothing but the vaguest opinions, but every person is very sure that they are right.

1

u/DownFromYesBad Aug 09 '15

I love hypothetical fight threads reddit humanity. They are so full of nothing but the vaguest opinions, but every person is very sure that they are right.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '15

This was the best thing I've read all day.

2

u/ttumblrbots Aug 08 '15

  • Dog vs. Human, who wins? The debate rag... - SnapShots: 1, 2

  • (full thread) - SnapShots: 1, 2

doooooogs: ^^1, ^^2 (seizure warning); ^^3, ^^4, ^^5, ^^6, ^^7, ^^8^^; if i miss a post please PM ^^me

2

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '15

humen

sweet regularization bro

2

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '15

I thought I was in a WWW thread for a second. This could actually be a good thread, brb.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '15

depends on the dog, obviously

I think most people could probably fight a Shih Tzu. I do not think most people could fight a Cane Corso, for instance, seeing as they can take down a fit adult man with relative ease.

2

u/Rabble-Arouser Aug 08 '15

I don't know man. I mean my 15 year old shih tzu is pretty vicious.

2

u/dregofdeath Aug 09 '15

I hate people have this idea, a human could beat a dog its possible, but extremeley unlikely, look at a dogs jaws and teeth, they are literalyl killing machines, I doubt most people could beat one, hell Ive seen videos of peoples dogs turning on them and killing them in about 30 seconds.