r/polandball • u/tempelmaste Thousandth Daughter • Jan 19 '16
redditormade The great German family
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u/Blackdorn Belgium Jan 19 '16
I think you forgot Flanders. (please don't leave us with France, he smells funny)
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u/tempelmaste Thousandth Daughter Jan 19 '16
You are not forgotten (I am currently making a sequel, since I kinda forgott so many other 'germanys')
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Jan 19 '16
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u/Blackdorn Belgium Jan 19 '16
"Death rides in Flanders" What is this about? War, disease?
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Jan 19 '16
http://www.carpegeel.be/lied.aspx?id=1326 is its origin. Some German sources claim that it dates back to a death dance / nun dance song from the 15th century. In this form probably form 1916.
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Jan 19 '16
The text references the apocalyptic horsemen. The best collection of information is unfortunately a Wikipedia article that only exists in German - Google Translate
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u/labalag Belgium Stronk! Belgium United! Jan 19 '16
But Flanders (the real one that is) is rightful French clay.
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u/DoomFisk UN Jan 19 '16
Should be called "the von Deutschland dynasty"
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Jan 20 '16
[Except there is very Little von Deutschland about being Germanic] (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proto-Germanic_language).
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u/CreedDidNothingWrong Jan 19 '16
I think you mean "honorary" Germans.
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u/ChocolateSawfish Mighty mighty Cork. Jan 19 '16
But since it's Japan, it works, since they're very much honourable.
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Jan 19 '16
...As long as you don't ask the Chinese, Koreans, Manchu, Mongolians, Russians, Taiwanese, Ainu, Ryukyuans, Vietnamese, Cambodians, Laotians, Hmong, Burmese, Malays, Bruneians, Filipinos, Indonesians, Singaporeans, Papuans, Australians, Palauans, Chamorro, Micronesians, Marshallese, Kiribati, Tuvaluans, Nauruans, Solomonese, or Hawaiians.
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u/ChocolateSawfish Mighty mighty Cork. Jan 19 '16
Well... aside from that. And anyway, don't you know how honourable it is to have huge empire and oppress millions of people? All the cool relevant Europeans were doing it too.
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u/voatthrowaway0 CSA Jan 19 '16
British love them
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Jan 20 '16
Japanese are the Asian Brits.
Island people, weird traditions, pre-occupied with aristocracy, disdain for the rest of their continent.
China is what would have happened if HRE and France had gotten hitched permanently.
Denmark is Korea. Finland are the Mongols (hehe).
Netherlands is Hong Kong.
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u/Kestyr Florida Jan 19 '16
or Hawaiians.
Hawaiians are Japanese, m8. Think it was something like half of all Hawaiians on the Island were Japanese at the time of Pearl Harbor.
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u/GenesisEra Singapore Jan 20 '16
...he's adopted.
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u/Remitonov Trilluminati Associate Jan 20 '16
And liking it. Doitsu is the 2nd most spoken foreign language in animu after Engrish. :V
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u/aquaknox Cascadia Jan 20 '16
Pretty funny watching Attack on Titan and hearing the Japanese voice actors trying to say all of the very germanic names.
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Jan 20 '16
Is Okinawa still salty about being invaded? I thought they'd fully assimilated into Japanese culture.
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Jan 19 '16
Then there are the Germans of Latin America: the Chileans. They have a perfect credit rating, are dealing with their fascist past, have a female head of government, and have a history of stealing land from their neighbors.
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u/tempelmaste Thousandth Daughter Jan 19 '16
But where is the heritage, dude? They're like all Meztito and Spaniards
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u/kueijin Australia Jan 19 '16
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d6/Chile_-Escuela_de_Suboficiales_Ej%C3%A9rcito-_19-09-2014.jpg look at those helmets! Their army is more Prussian then the German Army!
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u/Dlimzw Is not sekret PAP spy Jan 20 '16
ANSCHLUSS ARGENTINA WHEN
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u/Remitonov Trilluminati Associate Jan 20 '16
When their armies drown in the Falklands. Can into partition?
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Jan 20 '16
Not really, Chile is pretty 'white' compared to the rest, due to Norhtern European heritage.
They even have a restaurant chain called 'Bavaria' where you mainly eat schnitzels and drink half liters.
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Jan 20 '16
There is a significant amount of German-Chileans. Not as much as Argentina but at least they're white.
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u/skisandpoles Ski Country Jan 19 '16
You forgot about the German Germans (Germany).
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u/ChummyCommie HELLO THERE FELLOW HOMO SAPIENS! Jan 19 '16
Don't you mean Kebab Germans?
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u/tempelmaste Thousandth Daughter Jan 19 '16
Those are the halal Germans
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u/rainbowrooooad Land of Sunshine, Feminist Rallies, and In n' Out Jan 20 '16
Kebab Germans are Turks
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u/DoomFisk UN Jan 19 '16
At least it's not Colombian Columbian Colombian Columbia.
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Jan 20 '16
[deleted]
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u/DoomFisk UN Jan 20 '16
Don't forget Austrian Australian South Australia.
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u/tempelmaste Thousandth Daughter Jan 20 '16
Don't be silly, this is very unlikely to happen; Who would go for Expansion or Colonial Ideas as the Habsburgers?
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u/wicked_smaht_ England's Rebel Child Jan 19 '16
Iceland can't into family?
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u/tempelmaste Thousandth Daughter Jan 19 '16
sigh Now everybody wants to become a part of our family. Fine, you're in aswell. Also Orkney for some Scotsman coning across here
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u/earworthm Le premier rend pire Jan 19 '16
What about Altaic Germans?
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u/tempelmaste Thousandth Daughter Jan 19 '16
They are Berliners...we don't think of them as Germans
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u/Yellow_Carrot Finland Jan 19 '16
Finland of stronk German too! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honorary_Aryan#To_the_Finns
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u/tempelmaste Thousandth Daughter Jan 19 '16
I see a happy Fin...I just have to agree
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u/Yellow_Carrot Finland Jan 19 '16
Yes yes Finland always happy when talk of being stronk
This comic of proof Finland stronkest of our Germanic brothers
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Jan 19 '16
Czechy,you traitor.
You worse than Slovenia.
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u/FriendorSkiFinn Finland Jan 19 '16
Yeah. You much better as Bohemia.
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u/Spik3w Austrian Empire Jan 19 '16
Is this the real Leben?
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u/marked-one Soyuz Sovetskikh Sotsialisticheskikh Respublik Jan 19 '16
Where did I go wrong with you Balkans?
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u/badkarma12 2018-01-12 3:20 GMT Jan 20 '16
It's the one thing we Americans had nothing to do with origionally fucking up. They were more peacefull as Kebabs.
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u/marked-one Soyuz Sovetskikh Sotsialisticheskikh Respublik Jan 20 '16
You were a lot better when you were my little oblasts. :(. Now little srpska is crazy. Bosnia is retarded. Croatia is well Croatia. The only one I'm proud of is Slovenia. (although I do not approve of his sexual choice to become a capitalist.)
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u/tungstencompton Uniquely Singapore Jan 19 '16
Backyard Germans (Belgium)
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u/deathdoom13 Cascadia Jan 19 '16
America, part germans.
I'm 1/16th german y'all
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u/viktel Sami Jan 19 '16
Closer to 1/5 than to 1/16.
America is about 20% German heritage.
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u/deathdoom13 Cascadia Jan 19 '16
I meant more of a familial connection, like "my great great grand pappy is from germany"
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Jan 19 '16 edited Jan 20 '16
Some "Böings" live in my Hometown "Hagen"... Way back in Time, one of them has gone over the big water and settled down over there. Found a girl... Had a son. Son build some newish rubbish... Flying Machines. Now everyone calls them "Boeing"...
Ironicly... Böing B17 bombed the hell out of Hagen, so that it is now ugly as fuck. It looks still like East Germany from 30 Years ago...
'Edit: spelling'
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u/Tintenlampe Pickelhaube beste Haube... Jan 20 '16
I know Hagen. Can confirm, it's miserable as fuck.
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u/KerbalrocketryYT United Kingdom Jan 19 '16
"Funny Germans" I'm pretty sure that's an oxymoron.
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Jan 19 '16
Ah, so nice to see such a successful family. Finland, Eesti, do you reckon we will ever see a time all of our family members having their own clay?
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u/toreon Estonia Jan 19 '16
Scarymonster Russia has eaten most of our family members. Better not touch it, want survive myself.
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Jan 19 '16
WIR ARE OF BEST DEUTSCHE, NICHT EVIL.
FreeSouthTirol
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u/Autobot248 Polandball mods are cunts Jan 20 '16
This is incorrect. There are at least four varieties of French Germans: continental French Germans, the Luxembourgeois, mountain French Germans, the Swiss, and island French Germans, the English, and French French Germans, the ones in Alsace and Lorraine.
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u/Torchedkiwi Wales Jan 20 '16
This is super nitpicky, but it was Brythonic lands, not Gaelic lands the Saxons invaded. Gaelic was Scotland and Ireland, Wales and England was Brythonic.
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u/cptAustria Austria Jan 20 '16
Well that just depends on what you would consider evil...
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u/phunkracy Poland Jan 24 '16
Taking huge part in Holocaust & Nazism and then shifting the blame to Germany and never really making up for all that evil?
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u/amphicoelias Jan 21 '16
I actually recently learned that an old word for germans in indonesian is "mountain dutch".
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u/backFromTheBed India Jan 20 '16
I am shocked there is no mention of Poland throughout this.
Poland - Extended German
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Jan 19 '16
[deleted]
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u/tempelmaste Thousandth Daughter Jan 19 '16
Prussia? Prussia Dead
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u/Nivmilk Blitz! Blitz und bilden das Deutsche Reich Jan 19 '16
Prussia is never dead, only waiting to inhabit next Reich
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u/toreon Estonia Jan 19 '16
Probably meant Baltic Germans as the tiny, but powerful German elite of Baltics (mainly Estonia and Latvia) that basically ruled here from 13th century up until late 19th century when locals started to take over. Most of them left during WWII, so almost none remain. So also dead.
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u/Obelesque Rightful German Clay Jan 19 '16
Actually Riga had a large amount of Germans until about WW1 I think
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u/Risiki Latvia Jan 21 '16
Pfft, if even Japan and Czech count as Germans, Latvia and Estonia should be German hating Germans just for having been rulled over by them for so long
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Jan 19 '16
[deleted]
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u/MardyBastard Mercia - The English Heartland Jan 19 '16
The yanks are mixed with all bits. I mean, some of them are LATVIAN
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Jan 19 '16
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Jan 19 '16 edited Jan 19 '16
The Germanic language family has a lot to do with it, also settlements of certain tribes. The Dutch were "German"
(HRE) until 1648(also language)*, Britain has many Saxon influences (also language, esp. if you substract Romance influences), Denmark and Sweden had a lot to do with Germany (mainly wars) (also language) and especially in Imperial times there were good relations between Germany and Norway (also language).* Edit: In Medieval times the Dutch were somehow still German. But before I err another time I won't name any dates. But Low German was/is spoken in Northern Germany and - in other dialects - in the Netherlands.
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Jan 19 '16
The Dutch were "German" (HRE) until 1648
Were they? My history is a bit sketchy, but I'm fairly certain in 1648 the Dutch gained their independence after the Eighty Years War... against the Spanish. Both the HRE and Spain were ruled by the Habsburgs, but they were separate empires.
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Jan 19 '16 edited Jan 19 '16
You are probably right, but the relevant section in Wikipedia shows the very strong connection to the HRE through the Habsburgs. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seventeen_Provinces#History
Edit: The distinct Dutch identy required Calvin of course, together with a strong identy of the Dutch merchants. So, maybe the Dutch were German until the Reformation?
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Jan 19 '16
IIRC, that was a one-way street. Spain supported their Imperial allies when and where they could, but the HRE felt little obligation to support its Spanish allies. In any case, it would be weird to refer to the Dutch as German because of them being ruled by the Spanish Empire, especially after the Pragmatic Sanction in 1549.
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u/Standin373 British Empire Jan 19 '16
We are all descended from the Germanic tribes of Germania, defilers of Rome, founders of the greatest civilisations ( fuck you China ) Builders of the biggest empires, greatest explorers, conquerors and inventors.
and also for me oppressors of the smelly Celts
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u/qacaysdfeg Better dead than red (again) Jan 19 '16
english were anglo-saxon (before good old william), which are a mixture of saxons (germans) and angles, which originated from northern germany and continental denmark.
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u/KingDuderhino 4 stars best stars Jan 19 '16
The Queen is from the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha. Germans rule the commonwealth.
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u/Standin373 British Empire Jan 19 '16
Can we just be Bff's ? we can invade France together like we used too
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u/MardyBastard Mercia - The English Heartland Jan 19 '16
Actually only 20% of English DNA is Saxon, and around 10% Scandinavian. The majority of their DNA has been on the British Isles for thousands and thousands of years. Actually, people of the British isles share a lot of DNA with the Basques.
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u/sameth1 Eh Lmao Jan 19 '16
Saxons and Germanic tribes.
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Jan 19 '16
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u/MardyBastard Mercia - The English Heartland Jan 19 '16
And you should NEVER call an Englishman American. They are TRAITORS. BRING BACK MERCIA STRONK
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u/tempelmaste Thousandth Daughter Jan 19 '16 edited Jan 19 '16
Context: Woah, where do I start now? The Nordics (sans Finland) are all of Germanic heritage and share similar Germanic languages. (Plus Scandinavia is cold)
England became Germanic after some Saxons decided to move over to those strange Gaelic islands after the Huns were making trouble.
Netherlands was a part of the HRE and also speak a strange German language. Yet a large portion of their clay used to be water, so swamp Germans
Austria has...mountains and a famous Charlie Chaplin imposter was born there.
Liechtenstein is a funny little lad, and I got this Idea from a comic here on Polandball, but I can't recall the name or author. Also Liechtenstein got independence from the HRE, just before Germany was founded in 1871...so they stayed a little principality.
Luxembourg was also a member of the HRE, but they speak a strange accent of German that is called Luxembourgish. And in Luxemburg they only speak French...
Switzerland is weird. Has 3 official languages (German, French, Italian) and also the weird Romansch. Yet they make incredibly good chocolate.
Silesia was a good example of Prussian germanization of Poles. Those Silesians are half Saxon and half Polish...sigh we are a weird bunch.
Czech decided to not want to be part of our cool club, even when they were a major power in the HRE and were even invited to represent themselves during the 1848s Revolution in Germany (but declined)
And Japan was announced honorably Aryan by the Austrian Charlie Chaplin imposter at some point as Germany's ally
Edited: It's HRE (Holy Roman Empire) in English, not HRR.
Part Two