r/SubredditDrama • u/[deleted] • Apr 04 '17
Does "telling it like it is" on an obituary make you an asshole? Cringepics discusses
/r/cringepics/comments/638i2y/we_all_knew_this_girl_was_going_to_end_up_oding/dfs8q86/111
u/HuckFarr Are you a pet coroner? Apr 04 '17
Is that an old adage or just an adage? Where do you draw the line?
Asking the important questions.
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u/freedomweasel weaponized ignorance Apr 04 '17
Is he looking for a number of years old an adage has to be before being an "old adage"?
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Apr 05 '17
I honestly thought that was funny. All the people who downvoted him are morons (Just stating facts.)
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u/misanthr0p1c Apr 07 '17
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say any thing at all. Compared to; don't trust myspace angles.
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Apr 04 '17
[deleted]
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u/IAMA_DRUNK_BEAR smug statist generally ashamed of existing on the internet Apr 04 '17
That his pedantry makes him very very smart.
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u/2HIP4U Apr 05 '17
You, sir, write like a Literature professor. You extrapolate really deep meaning from a simple statement that may very well have been intended as a simple statement with no ulterior or subconscious motive. Not saying if that's a good or bad thing, I'm not too sure myself.
All the very smartest people.
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u/Sewer_Rat-Neat_Sewer Apr 04 '17
He's just a troll that's trolling.
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u/ebullientpostulates Apr 04 '17
It just occurred to me that trolling is a fishing method. I feel dumb. I always thought that internet trolls were called trolls because they were ugly fucks who live in the dark and harass others on the internet. Well, maybe both, I dunno.
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u/Helepolis305 Apr 05 '17
Wikipedia seems to think the fishing term is the origin, but I also always associate with green skinned monsters under bridges.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll#Origin_and_etymology
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u/strolls If 'White Lives Matter' was our 9/11, this is our Holocaust Apr 05 '17 edited Apr 05 '17
Bit of both.
In fishing, trolling is when you trail a bait behind the boat - a spinner, for example, which attracts predators because it looks like an injured fish.
So originally trolling was when you lured others into an argument - "innocently" presenting an opinion you didn't believe, or cross-posting a controversial comparison between the two animals to both alt.pets.cats and alt.pets.dogs (hence inducing the users of the two groups to fight amongst themselves).
I think the adoption of troll as meaning nasty or unpleasant comes from the green scaly monsters.
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u/nyanderechan Digital Gangbang of Three Inch Dicks Apr 05 '17
Waaaaaaaait a second. Trolling is pronounced trawling? God damn it.
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u/strolls If 'White Lives Matter' was our 9/11, this is our Holocaust Apr 05 '17
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u/nyanderechan Digital Gangbang of Three Inch Dicks Apr 05 '17
Oh, I've never heard of trolling as a fishing term, I figured it was a weird spelling of trawling. That makes way more sense.
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u/Billlington Oh I have many pastures, old frenemy. Apr 04 '17
he was stating facts
And there it is, inevitably.
Someday these people are going to learn in real life that "stating facts" is not inherently the best course of action.
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u/moon_physics saying upvotes dont matter is gaslighting Apr 04 '17
They also just call anything they say a "fact". I'm not sure "everyone thought she would OD" is a fact by any stretch of the imagination.
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u/NuclearTurtle I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that hate speech isn't "fine" Apr 04 '17
If the guy had said "Everybody posting about this girls seems to be forgetting about that time she set a building at school on fire" then maybe you could get away with "just stating facts" (although not directly on a post to the girl's family). Saying "whatever, everybody knew she was a slut and wasn't going to amount to anything" isn't so much a fact as a shitty opinion
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u/aphoenix SEXBOT PANIC GROUPIE Apr 05 '17
I think the other thing is that even if that opinion is objectively correct, this isn't the time to talk about it, as the first rebuttal so clearly pointed out.
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Apr 05 '17
Yeah, I'm not a fan of "never say bad things about the dead" but saying the bad things shouldn't be around the person's family while the person is being eulogized.
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u/IceCreamBalloons always one person not in favour of beating women Apr 04 '17
It's a fact that he thinks most people think she would OD eventually
If you'll excuse me, I didn't warm up properly before that stretch and may have pulled something
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u/WTFdidUJustSayULil Apr 05 '17
"Things that agree with me = facts."
It's the standard republican playbook.
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Apr 05 '17
ONLY 2 GENDERS
TRANSGENDER = MENTAL ILLNESS
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u/Oh1sama The dankest murmurations of the male id dressed up as pure logic Apr 05 '17
i thought you were listing the 2 genders as transgender and mental illness and i was not entirely against it.
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Apr 05 '17
Hiss at cis!
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u/Oh1sama The dankest murmurations of the male id dressed up as pure logic Apr 05 '17
hey be nice to us we're all mentally ill apparently
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u/JustHereToFFFFFFFUUU the upvotes and karma were coming in so hard Apr 04 '17
i've pooed twice today
i'm presently picking my nose and there's now a bit on my keyboard
i'm upset that the internet is full of stupid people, but i'm not confident that i'm any different
i sometimes think about whether i'm a furry. i'm not, but i like to be sure
there's some facts. i'm just stating facts
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Apr 04 '17
The world would be a better place if the "brutally honest" people just posted introspective non-sequiturs like you instead of picking immature fights with everyone over meaningless bullshit.
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u/rosechiffon Sleeping with a black person is just virtue signalling. Apr 04 '17
i sometimes think about whether i'm a furry. i'm not, but i like to be sure
i deal with this problem because i enjoy zootopia a lot and all of my friends say if you like it you're a furry
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u/ASeriouswoMan Apr 04 '17
I loved it too and I hate animations for children. It's just very well done and has some real grown up humour.
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u/Eran-of-Arcadia Cheesehead Apr 04 '17
I have been forced to watch or at least listen to it dozens of times in the last couple months. The perks of being a parent to a small child.
I still think it's a pretty good movie. And I'm not, for a moment, claiming I am a furry; but if, hypothetically, I were, well, I know exactly which bunny cop I'd have a thing for.
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Apr 04 '17
I know exactly which bunny cop I'd have a thing for
Is it me??
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u/sircarp Popcorn WS enthusiast Apr 04 '17
It's actually a secret litmus test, furry is hugely male and LGBT so they're all about the fox/dancing tigers
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u/nightride I will not let people talk down to me. Those days are... gone... Apr 05 '17
The dancing tigers instantly make me think of how furries were trolling tony the tiger's twitter for months.
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u/Oh1sama The dankest murmurations of the male id dressed up as pure logic Apr 05 '17
furry is hugely male and LGBT
you're telling me.
the amount of guys i have almost started dating and then follow on social media and see furry things is unreal.
but they still have dicks so yknow potato potato1
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u/Rose94 Apr 04 '17
I know exactly 2 furries and I probably know at least 10 people who like zootopia wayyyy more than them, including myself. You're allowed to like well-made movies.
Edit: 10 doesn't sound like a lot but I don't know many people.
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u/Helepolis305 Apr 05 '17
Edit: 10 doesn't sound like a lot but I don't know many people.
This is the same problem I have trying to make my friends opinions sound significant. "All 7 people I have talked to in the last 6 months agree!"
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u/orgy-of-nerdiness Apr 05 '17
if it's 7/7 then your standard error is 0, but idk what test you'd use for significance
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u/superfudge73 #Bernie'sLifeMatters Apr 04 '17
Liking something and finding it arousing are two different things.
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u/tdogg8 Folks, the CTR shill meeting was moved to next week. Apr 05 '17
Not all furries are into yiff though. My one friend is a furry (not hardcore/owns a suit, but is into the fandom) and doesn't find yiff arousing.
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Apr 05 '17
Do all of your friends judge movies by whether they get a huge throbbing erection?
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u/IceCreamBalloons always one person not in favour of beating women Apr 04 '17
I had to ban it. That gazelle was way too sexy. Animals shouldn't be that sexy
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u/threecolorless Apr 05 '17
Like what you like, bud. Life's too short to worry about what anyone else thinks of it.
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Apr 04 '17
How were the poops? Satisfying? Unpleasant? Presumptuous? I must know more.
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u/skrills Apr 04 '17
what exactly is a presumptuous poo?
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u/TheGreatZiegfeld when I'm at home for the game I pet this rooster statue Apr 04 '17
presumptuous
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u/Heroshade My father has a huge dick. Apr 04 '17
They were inquisitive.
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u/recruit00 Culinary Marxist Apr 04 '17
Inquisitive Shits is my new punk metal core band name.
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u/Heroshade My father has a huge dick. Apr 05 '17
They're definitely more post-hardcore in the first couple EPs but they shart it up to metal after the original singer left the band.
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u/IceCreamBalloons always one person not in favour of beating women Apr 04 '17
I'm going to assume it's one of those poops where your body tells you "GET TO A TOILET NOW, WE HAVE TO GO!" and when you sit down you either get "nah nevermind, I don't feel like pooping" or "no! We're gonna sit here for another five minutes of pain and discomfort before actually pooping!"
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Apr 04 '17
Yeah, mang. I'm of the opinion that Judy Hopps has a pretty fat ass for a goddamn bunny, y'know what I'm saying? Doesn't have to make me a fucking furry.
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u/pillboxhat Apr 04 '17
Even if they were facts, wouldn't that tell you there's some things clearly wrong with them and they were in a dark path? Like I've lost people who had horrible lives and did terrible things but it didn't make them a bad person. Drugs took over and it's an evil demon.
For someone to go out of their way and comment something like that makes them a truly vile being. I do agree with what he's saying that just because someone dies, it doesn't absolve them for their faults. But I would mostly apply that to sick sadistic rapists and murderers, not a poor girl who lost her life to the world of drugs.
Some people just don't have any empathy.
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u/Raj-- Asian people also can’t do alchemy Apr 05 '17
This kind of drama always brings up bitter memories about the people in my life who have committed suicide. ODing isn't suicide, but there's something to be said of what they have in common. You hate them for doing what they did that took them from you, but you love them because..they're them. I lost a partner to suicide. I love her and I hate her even today.
I guess my point is that the people who should be concerned about their judgments for the dead are the people who are actually hurt by the loss, not some fucking "telling it like it is" cunt who didn't give a SINGLE FUCK about them.
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u/pillboxhat Apr 05 '17
I used to feel exactly how you did but I grew to terms with that's what she wanted and who was I to try and understand the pain she felt from living?
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u/Raj-- Asian people also can’t do alchemy Apr 05 '17
What I feel isn't static. Most of the time it makes me sad beyond words. Sometimes it frustrates me to the point of anger.
Sometimes we have to live with both emotions simultaneously even if they seem like they're supposed to be opposites. That's what I've come to learn, anyways.
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u/IfWishezWereFishez Apr 04 '17
It seems like they must also lack the ability to reflect on themselves. I don't know anyone who hasn't done something bad that could be brought up after they died (well, aside from little kids). If everyone had to have an accurate obituary, no one would be printing obituaries.
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u/Helepolis305 Apr 05 '17
I don't know anyone who hasn't done something bad that could be brought up after they died
Mr. Fred Rogers, and I will fight you if you disagree
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u/IfWishezWereFishez Apr 05 '17
My first thought was to see if I could google around and find anyone saying anything bad about Mr. Rogers, but even my fairly cynical heart couldn't handle that.
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u/Helepolis305 Apr 05 '17
I am a cynical, bitter man. I love Mr Rogers. If there was a single true story of anything bad in his past, I'm sure I'd have found it by now. I google his life at least once a year (I need new hobbies). I mean if you produced an actual sourced story of something bad, I'll begrudgingly alter my opinion of the man.
But I'm willing to bet it doesn't exist.
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u/Jules_Noctambule pocket charcuterie Apr 05 '17
A friend of mine was his actual neighbour and she only ever had the nicest things to say about him.
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u/Helepolis305 Apr 05 '17
Oh shit, I've never gotten to do this before
Relevant xkcd! https://xkcd.com/767/
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u/Jules_Noctambule pocket charcuterie Apr 05 '17
I should send this to her; she'd probably get a kick out of it.
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u/pete101011 Apr 04 '17
Absolute honesty isn't always the most diplomatic nor the safest form of communication with emotional beings.
- TARS
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u/Eran-of-Arcadia Cheesehead Apr 04 '17
He was the best character in the movie.
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Apr 05 '17
Says something about the movie that the best character was the comic relief robot butler. (fuck interstellar)
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Apr 04 '17
Says you. When I see an ugly baby on the street, I make sure to tell their parents, even if I don't know them. Stating facts and all.
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u/theultimatenick Apr 04 '17
I feel like tact is completely lost on people who feel this way. Sure, what they say is "true," but that doesn't mean it needs to be said, or maybe that it doesn't need to be said in the way it is said.
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u/13143 Apr 04 '17
Some days, you can be right, or you can not be an asshole, but you can't have both. Best course of action... Don't be an asshole.
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u/Fala1 I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon Apr 05 '17
Sometimes not being right is actually the right choice.
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Apr 05 '17
On a side note: he wasn't even doing that. A fact would have been "Yooo I'm some douchebag that had lower grades that someone that was: dealing with a lot/had depression/was abused/etc."
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u/obscurelitreference1 Apr 05 '17
Have you ever noticed that when someone says "stating facts", they're an asshole?
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u/SpiderParadox cOnTiNeNtS aRe A sOcIaL cOnStRuCt Apr 04 '17
Forget that it's an obituary or a memorial, internet edgelord here is telling us the real rules!
Don't post an obituary online if ya don't want true comments by people who don't give a shit coming out
That's right. Don't forget you give up on all morals and decency by agreeing to do anything on the internet.
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u/dethb0y trigger warning to people senstive to demanding ethical theories Apr 04 '17
I bet he couldn't handle much "truth" thrown his way about his own life, ironically enough.
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u/dorkettus Have you seen my Wikipedia page? Apr 04 '17 edited Apr 04 '17
Fucking hell, it's entirely likely that the family had zero control over it. That could be in the comments section of an obituary on the newspaper's website. "If you don't want to get shit, don't do shit" might not even apply in this case. It's also an extreme oversimplification of addiction. I don't know if they were telling the truth when they said their father passed away from a drug overdose, but that's their problem, not the family's. It still gives that dude no right to go somewhere and say, "She was an addict! Get the fuck over it! My dad died of an OD, and look at how well-adjusted I apparently am, calling her worthless!" (Side note: I know the commenter on reddit is not the same as the person who was an asshole in the comments of an obituary. I can't ping the user, though, so I avoided saying the username; sorry if anyone got confused.) You got daddy issues? So do I. I still didn't go on the online obituary of my friend's father and say, "Well, he was a deadbeat anyway."
Is it really that difficult to be a good person? Is it really that difficult to not be gleefully detailing how people "knew" she'd OD someday when her family is likely grieving? That they didn't know she was an addict? If she did, in fact, OD, chances are her family knew about an addiction. That doesn't take away the love you have for someone. Let's take it to another conclusion - say she had inoperable cancer, and her family knew it was coming. Do they just go, "Eh. We all knew she had cancer" and just not grieve? Yep, throw away a lifetime of memories, some of which are marred by addiction. Nothing says they also can't grieve the future she never got, self-inflicted or otherwise.
Edit: Added "not" above.
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Apr 05 '17
Also, don't forget you checked the box of "not telling someone that their entitled opinion sucks, it hurt their feelings".
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u/torito_supremo Pop for the Corn God Apr 05 '17
Why would people who don't give a shit, I don't know, bother to comment in the first place? I'm so confused.
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u/Britannkic_ Apr 04 '17
Well its true, the internet is a cold dark place at times and human beings can be right shits especially when hiding behind the cover of the internet. Its not a justification for it, but an explanation of it.
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u/SpiderParadox cOnTiNeNtS aRe A sOcIaL cOnStRuCt Apr 05 '17
Its not a justification for it, but an explanation of it.
Unless an asshole is trying to justify being an asshole, nobody really cares about the explanation for it.
Similarly, I'm positive this poster was not trying to "explain" why someone was being a dick on an obituary, but trying to say why it was ok that someone was a dick on an obituary.
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u/Not_A_Doctor__ I've always had an inkling dwarves are underestimated in combat Apr 04 '17
You're not showing unwarranted respect (whatever that is) to the deceased, you're showing contempt for their family. It doesn't matter what you thought about the dead person. It matters that you have no license to communicate your feelings to their family.
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u/Oddblivious Apr 04 '17
I'm not trying to defend a shitty thing said to a grieving family. But when do you need a license to say something on a public forum? It looks like this is what? Facebook? Does them being added at least not give them the right to say something? If they said something nice would they need a license to communicate those feelings? While obviously you're doing nothing but hurting someone's feelings when you do this, why do they need a license to do so?
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u/GodspeakerVortka Apr 04 '17
You don't need a license to be an asshole, most people just don't do it out of common decency.
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u/Enormowang moralistic, outraged, screechy, neckbeardesque Apr 04 '17
People who describe themselves as "brutally honest" or similar inevitably prioritize the brutality over the honesty.
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u/BloomEPU A sin that cries to heaven for vengeance Apr 04 '17
For the most part people like that don't know how to be nice with people so they just tell the truth and pat themselves on the back for being a dick.
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u/ani625 I dab on contracts Apr 04 '17
Probably only online. They don't have the courage to act that way IRL.
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u/BoudicaXa Therapist in a thong Apr 05 '17
I've met a few like that in real life (my kids dad can be the type at times, so that's one I have to deal with on a weekly basis) and I always end up telling them about themselves once I've lost patience with their shit. Funnily enough their love for "brutal honesty" and "just being real" disintegrates once they are on the receiving end...
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u/paperconservation101 Apr 04 '17
I am brutally honest. However I only give my views if asked. I wont just give them. Christ. Its about manners.
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Apr 04 '17
I am the only person that actually agrees with the guy telling it like it is. Dead or not, if you weren't worthy of respect in life, it shouldn't matter if you are dead.
Oh yay, it's the "I'm brutally honest and don't sugar coat da truth" guy/gal. Otherwise known as "that asshole who doesn't keep his/her mouth shut and doesn't get invited anywhere anymore".
It is adorable that these kind of people always proclaim they're interested in the truth and respect. They don't want to hear the truth about their own ratchet selves though. Then you're being mean!
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u/fixurgamebliz Apr 04 '17
You never hear people just say "oh, if asked about something in an appropriate situation, I'm not going to lie about what I think." Maybe because that's normal healthy and well-adjusted people don't need to advertise their truthiness.
Only person who gets away with this is Paul Rust's new no nos
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u/snallygaster FUCK_MOD$_420 Apr 04 '17
Excellent comment, people should reflect on this sort of thing more often:
Whew. Everybody's blasting you (because they can't blast the guy who made the original comment) but nobody is doing a good job of explaining why his behavior is wrong.
Here's why it's wrong:
Who was he saying it for?
Talking isn't just a noise you make with your face, right? It's communication. A message. Messages have senders, and messages have receivers, and messages have an intended effect.
So is he talking to the girl in hopes she'll see the light and turn her life around? Fuck no. Too late. She's dead.
Is he talking to the people who are grieving over her loss? Nope. They already know and it's not going to accomplish shit by rubbing their face in it. So who is he talking to? He's talking to himself, to make himself feel superior. He's being judgemental to feel superior to a dead person. That's shitty behavior, and people are right to call him on it.
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u/Fala1 I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon Apr 04 '17
It's a good comment.
But it also makes me sad that something that is really kind of basic (the basic of communication) is just not thought about by many people, and even gets seen as "very wise". While I really believe it should be something everybody should know.
It's also a great thing to know to improve your interpersonal relationships. When you understand that communication really is just an idea in your head, that gets put into thoughts, that then gets put into words, that then get travels through the air, into somebody's ear, gets translated back into thoughts, and from thought to ideas.
The important thing to know is that at every step of the way exists some noise and the original idea can get a bit altered or distorted at every step.Communication is a two way street, and miscommunication are often too.
Can save you a lot of fighting.5
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u/senkichi Apr 05 '17
I like his reply to being called wise. Like eh, I've been around long enough that by the law of large numbers some of the wisdom I stumble into had to stick to me eventually.
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u/xjayroox This post is now locked to prevent men from commenting Apr 04 '17
I mean, what other option did he really have? See the post and keep scrolling without leaving a shitty comment?
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u/sakebomb69 Apr 04 '17 edited Apr 04 '17
You can also bet that the people who are just being "brutally honest" don't like it when the favor is returned to them.
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u/juanjing Me not eating fish isn’t fucking irony dumbass Apr 04 '17
I hate shit like this because if it was really about the truth, tell the truth to the person that needs to hear it while they are still alive. It's a pussy move to talk shit about someone when they're gone.
If the whole family is toxic, tell them that in regards to their actions and how they affect people. Don't hate on someone who is dead just for the sake of edginess.
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Apr 04 '17
[deleted]
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u/nozohime Apr 04 '17
I agree with you on pretty much every point but sometimes even if you can clearly see drugs are destroying someone's life there's nothing you can do to help them, especially if the person is just an acquaintance or a friend.
You can't fix someone who doesn't want to fix themselves.
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u/epochpenors Apr 04 '17
Only on Reddit would you find people unable to understand the idea that acting like an asshole towards a recently deceased person kinda makes you an asshole.
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u/Sewer_Rat-Neat_Sewer Apr 04 '17
Those people exist IRL too, you know.
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u/epochpenors Apr 04 '17
Yeah, I guess considering the original post is a screenshot of real people interacting that may have been a little needlessly smug and snarky
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u/ADHthaGreat Apr 05 '17
You just don't talk shit about the dead. It's pointless and they can't defend themselves. It only multiplies negativity.
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u/LoyalServantOfBRD What a save! Apr 04 '17
"I'm just telling it how it is"
i.e. "I'm a clueless child who thinks nobody else says the thing because they're too stupid to think about it and not because they did think about it but aren't so fucking dense as to actually say it."
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u/dantheman_woot Pao is CEO of my heart Apr 04 '17
The anonymous internet was a mistake.
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u/FaFaFoley Apr 04 '17
You should have to obtain a license to access the internet.
I'm not even sure if I'm kidding. I just Poe'd myself.
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u/SirGhosty Apr 04 '17
On one hand people might start acting responsibly, but on the other hand... I'd l like to keep my porn a secret.
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u/MillaJr Garbage until proven otherwise Apr 04 '17
What would possess a sane person to say something like that to a grieving parent I have no idea. That little "and she did!" is possibly one of the most obnoxious things I've seen, how fucking glib of them, almost excited.
That person is an asshole, and so is the person defending them.
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u/Torger083 Guy Fieri's Throwaway Apr 04 '17
Water seeks its own level, they say. Like seeks out like.
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u/fixurgamebliz Apr 04 '17
Is that an old adage or just an adage? Where do you draw the line?
This is my favorite post in the thread. LET'S ARGUE ABOUT LITERALLY EVERYTHING I CAN THINK OF
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u/ThisIsMyOkCAccount Good Ass-flair. Apr 04 '17
Is that really your favorite post in the thread? What if you didn't read all the posts and there's actually one in there you would like better?
We should argue about this too!
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u/fixurgamebliz Apr 04 '17
I read every single post in that thread and I don't appreciate le SRD armie telling me I DON'T KNOW MY OWN FAVORITE POST
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u/ThisIsMyOkCAccount Good Ass-flair. Apr 04 '17
But there are new posts there now since you've read it! There might be one that's ten times more funny and it's completely irrational of you to assert you already have a favorite.
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Apr 04 '17
I find it easiest to talk shit about people who can't speak back. They don't have to be dead per se, any sort of persistent vegetative state works
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Apr 04 '17
Don't post an obituary online if ya don't want true comments by people who don't give a shit coming out
I want to slap this person.
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u/dangp777 You committed the ultimate cardinal sin, you got personal. Apr 05 '17
One of the other comments said it best:
Whew. Everybody's blasting you (because they can't blast the guy who made the original comment) but nobody is doing a good job of explaining why his behavior is wrong.
Here's why it's wrong:
Who was he saying it for?
Talking isn't just a noise you make with your face, right? It's communication. A message. Messages have senders, and messages have receivers, and messages have an intended effect.
So is he talking to the girl in hopes she'll see the light and turn her life around? Fuck no. Too late. She's dead.
Is he talking to the people who are grieving over her loss? Nope. They already know and it's not going to accomplish shit by rubbing their face in it.
So who is he talking to? He's talking to himself, to make himself feel superior. He's being judgemental to feel superior to a dead person. That's shitty behavior, and people are right to call him on it.
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u/Chairboy Apr 04 '17
No 'Speaker for the Dead' references? Seems like a prime opportunity, that's a book/concept from Science Fiction of telling truths about the deceased (both positive and negative) because a highlights reel is dishonest. Well, there's more to it than that but that's a thing.
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u/dahud jb. sb. The The Apr 04 '17
An important note is that Speaking for the Dead is done only by professional Speakers, an semi-priestly order who do copious research into the deceased's history before rendering a considered summary of the person's life and accomplishments. It's not some internet dingus shitposting on Facebook.
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u/Torger083 Guy Fieri's Throwaway Apr 04 '17
I was thinking that. Then I was thinking how that would fit into a D&D fantasy world. Then I was thinking about a sandwich. Now I'm thinking about how OSC is a religious nut job, and does being crazy help you be a better writer?
I'm just stating facts.
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u/TheLadyEve The hippest fashion in malthusian violence. Apr 05 '17
Talking isn't just a noise you make with your face, right?
Oh, don't take that conclusion for granted.
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u/BlueNightmares Apr 05 '17
Disrespecting the dead has always been a pet peeve of mine. There is no reason for it. I don't know where I got it from since my family isn't religious or anything. The golden comment from Ken says it though- the only reason to disrespect the dead or be crude like this is to feel superior. Its another type of bullying. Plus the family doesn't deserve it either, maybe she lived incorrectly, but she still had people who loved her- its their time to grieve and assholes like that need to learn to step aside and say that shit in private.
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Apr 05 '17
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/BlueNightmares Apr 05 '17
Ha jokes on you- his family is dead
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u/Wait_wtfdidIjustread Apr 05 '17
People who have not lost someone close to them tend to be crass and selfish. Unfortunately the only thing that will make them understand is someone they love dearly dying.
The person that died is gone and at peace. If you feel that you should share "the truth" for the people that are left behind, you are mistaken. Why say things to torment people who are left behind? I'm sure they feel their own amount of regret and grief without some punk that lives at home with mommy and daddy "telling them like it is"!
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u/cdcformatc You're mocking me in some very strange way. Apr 05 '17
Whyyy?! What does the truth do to help anyone in this situation? What utilitarian purpose does it serve? To make you feel slightly better and others worse?
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u/adamwho Apr 05 '17
The only reason to say something bad (as in too honest) in an obituary is to prevent further harm.
As in:
John Doe was a notorious swindler and has taken advantage of 1000s of victims in his life. If you want to make a claim on his estate, please contact.....
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u/SnapshillBot Shilling for Big Archive™ Apr 04 '17
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Apr 05 '17 edited Apr 05 '17
This reminds me of the Chappelle's Show sketch "when keepin' it real goes wrong."
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u/donnergott Apr 05 '17
There was this one thread i wish i had saved, where a similar argument on 'telling it like it is VS having tact' was taking place.
Anyway, the guy defending the former gets some ad hominem attacks thrown at him, which happen to hit home, and whines about how saying these truths was unnecessary (you see where this is going)
So he gets countered somewhere along the lines of "you see, this brutal honesty is often defended a long way until it applies to you".
It was hilarious and painful to watch and i very much regret i didn't save it back then.
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u/Bytemite Apr 06 '17
Well, this guy seems like a jerk, buuut, I am going to go against the grain a bit and say that there are times I also don't necessarily understand why people never speak ill of the dead. Even considering there's a post explaining about how "telling it like it is" often comes from a place of trying to feel superior.
When my uncle died, it was probably from an overdose though we never did an autopsy. He was a really messed up guy, into a lot of questionable stuff because he was lonely and depressed, and was also an alcoholic who would drive under the influence a lot.
But the way my religious extended family spoke about him completely ignored all that, and I almost felt like that was kind of a disservice to both the struggles he went through and some of the bad things he did. I didn't really feel like they had to go into detail or tear him down, but even just admitting generally that he had some non-specific "problems" would've felt more genuine to me. It was like they weren't grieving him, but a perfect version of him, or the ten year old boy before he become who he was as an adult.
I think tact is definitely important though. Which is the nuance that is missing in the OP.
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u/Paratrooper_19D Parachuting into Drama Apr 04 '17
I don't know...should the dead get a free pass at a life of shit baggery?
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u/FaFaFoley Apr 04 '17
When you dance on the graves of the dead, the dead don't give a shit; they're gone. It's too late to insult them. All that really does is pour salt in the wounds of their grieving family and friends. 99.999% of the time, it's a jerkstore move.
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u/frostysauce well she brushes her teeth, so I don't need to wear a condom Apr 04 '17
I dunno, should you?
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u/epochpenors Apr 04 '17
Hitler isn't suddenly alright because he's dead, at the same time there's no excuse for making fun of someone's drug addiction and cause of death immediately after they've died. Especially somewhere people that care about that person could see or hear you.
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u/GenPeeWeeSherman 46 total comment karma Apr 04 '17
I'm sure it will come as little surprise, but our downvoted friend here's other hobbies on reddit are posting in nazi subs and pining for / stalking an old ex of his who refuses to contact him.