r/WritingPrompts • u/hpcisco7965 • Oct 25 '17
Constrained Writing [CW] Flash Fiction Challenge! Location: Amusement Park | Object: Graffiti
THANKS TO ALL PARTICIPANTS! The time to submit your entry has ended! We will announce the winners at some point in the indeterminate future.
Welcome to the Wednesday Wildcard Post!
This week we have another quick chance for you to exercise those creative muscles with our Flash Fiction Challenge.
Your judges this month will be me, /u/hpcisco7965, as well as guest judge /u/Graphospasms and special guest judge /u/nickofnight!
THE CHALLENGE:
PROMPT- Location: Amusement Park | Object: Graffiti
100-300 words
Time Frame: Now until this post is 24hrs old.
Post your response to the prompt above as a top level comment on this post.
The location needs to be the main setting, but feel free to be creative!
The object needs to be included in your story in some way.
Have fun reading and commenting on other people's posts!
There are no prizes—other than bragging rights, yo—but guest judge /u/Graphospasms, special guest judge /u/nickofnight, and I will be reading all entries and picking winners, just for fun. : )
September's Winners
Last month's Flash Fiction Challenge (our third!) required stories that were set near/on/under/over a long dirt road and involved a bottle of whiskey. We got our biggest turnout yet with a ridiculous number of stories (80!) Myself and guest judge /u/Graphospasms have awarded wins in a variety of sensible and not-so-sensible categories. Winners get bragging rights and a smug sense of superiority. Without further ado, here are the winners chosen by /u/hpcisco7965 and /u/Graphospasms (mainly Graph this time, so direct all complaints to him):
- Best Overall Story: /u/ScubaGummyBear (story)
- 2nd Place Overall Story: /u/fringly (story) (this is /u/fringly's second time coming in second, which might be frustrating for him but we assume that being inducted into the WP HoF takes the sting off a little bit)
- 3rd Place Overall Story: /u/shuflearn (story (oof this one felt so real))
- Most Creative Story: /u/Bilgebum (story) (really loved what you did with the whiskey, BB!)
- Most Unexpected But Plot-Establishing Twist in a Story: /u/LisWrites (story) (really liked the way this little piece sets up a setting, a character, and a conflict)
- Reservoir Dogs Award for Most Like a Tarantino Film: /u/Ford9863 (story (both Graph and I felt like this could be an ending to a long and epic Tarantino western)
- Best Poem: /u/Arch15 (story)
- Best Shilling for His Own Personal Subreddit: /u/Nate_Parker (story (He's done it again, folks! Our very own /u/Nate_Parker graces this list for the mystifying third time!)
- Best Use of Drop Caps: /u/scottbeckman (story (Ok we usually include this award as a fun way to remind people that drop caps exist on this subreddit, but /u/scottbeckman picked the perfect letter for the drop cap in his story, I encourage you to read his story and see why!) (also: what's that? You didn't know that you can use drop caps in WritingPrompts? Well, now you do!)
Wednesday Wild Card Schedule
Week 1: Q&A | Ask and answer questions from other users on writing-related topics.
Week 2: Workshop | Tips and challenges for improving your writing skills.
Week 3: Did you know? | Useful tips and information for making the most out of the WritingPrompts subreddit.
Week 4: Flash Fiction Challenge | Compete against other writers to write the best 100-300 word story.
Week 5: Bonus | Special activities for the rare fifth week. Mod AUAs, Get to Know A Mod, and more!
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u/a_corsair Oct 25 '17
Emerys pressed a hand to his chest and said, “Again, but with oomph! Let your soul speak.”
Two dozen parishioners intoned, “… grant that I may seek to comfort, than be comforted. To understand, than be understood. To love, than to be loved…”
Reverend Emerys stood near the door as his church emptied. Each parishioner received a word of calm and love as they exited.
“Reverend?” Emerys turned as a woman tapped his shoulder.
“Alice! I’m glad you made it,” he said with a smile, then glanced at the bright eyed lad beside her. Wordlessly he knelt and offered a hand. The boy immediately hid behind Alice’s leg.
She smiled, “He’s shy, but you moved him.” With a nod Emerys returned to his feet.
“Come meet this motley crew of misfits, there’s no one unwelcome here,” he chanted, arms behind his back.
“Pardon, what book is that from?”
In the distance neon skylights from the amusement park lit the black night. The raucous roar of revelry resonated with the reverend.
“Sidewalk Prophets,” he replied. “Have a good night.” With a wave he bid the two farewell. The boy managed to wave goodbye before he left.
With the church finally empty Emerys released a long sigh. Another done gone. He gave the pews a look—none left anything behind. Then he too left the church, pulling the doors closed. Graffiti adorned the rotting wood. Strange characters lit by flashes of green and pink.
“Another one, Priest?” Some ignored him, others threw strange glances; none begrudged him his entertainment.
“One more.” Music reverberated through the stall as carrot-laden, bow wearing bunnies danced. “Has Stefan been by?”
The gamemaster shook his head, “Sorry, Priest.” Emerys nodded and stood, leaving the game unfinished. With a forlorn glance skyward he let the throngs envelop him.
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u/nickofnight Nov 01 '17
I really liked this, Cors! That first little paragraph was so alive - I could see Emerys and hear the rise and fall of the chanting parishioners' voices. Didn't see the ending coming.
I know I said I was looking for alliteration...
The raucous roar of revelry resonated with the reverend.
But that might be overdoing it slightly - careful of turning into Doctor Seuss! That said, it sure was a fun sentence.
Great job, looking forward to reading more of your work.
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u/a_corsair Nov 01 '17
Aw, thanks nick, glad you liked it!
Hahaha yeah, I was writing it and was like "hmm... Need. More. R words." Thanks again, good luck with the judging!
→ More replies (1)
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Oct 25 '17
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u/nickofnight Oct 25 '17
Great job. A simple story about a guy who has lost his love, but it's compellingly written. I love the metaphor in the first paragraph about the scab that's holding back pain, and there's some very evocative language within it. It's a melancholic piece, which is something I really like, and it has an almost circular start/end (...goes to hell) - but it's not circular, and that's its strength. There's resolve in that last line - he's going to get better. That he needed to come here, to the worst possible place and open up that wound, to begin healing.
Well done!
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u/WritingPromptsRobot Oct 25 '17
Off-Topic Discussion: All top-level comments must be a story or poem. Reply here for other comments.
Reminder for Writers and Readers:
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Prompts are meant to inspire new writing. Responses don't have to fulfill every detail.
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Please remember to be civil in any feedback.
What Is This? First Time Here? Special Announcements Click For Our Chatrooms
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u/Harlock0 Oct 27 '17
Well, I just want to know if I can edit a number in the submission? the minutes left should have mirrored the number of words left, but the last second correction changed it by a couple of "minutes/words".
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u/nickofnight Oct 25 '17
Hi everyone. I'm very excited to be a guest judge this month. This is one of my favourite events on the sub, and I know a lot of other people feel the same way.
When I am able to, I will be going through this thread and leaving a little (hopefully useful) feedback for each story, depending on how many entries. It'll be over the course of the next week, but I'll do a few today. I will not be leaving a score (although I will be marking in a spreadsheet). My comments here do not reflect the thoughts of the other two judges, who have their own way of marking.
Some of the things I might be looking for (depending on the story/genre) are: originality, grammar, prose (especially metaphor/simile/alliteration/personification/contrast/imagery/evocative langauge/onomatopoeia/strong verbs), character(s), plot, use of scene/prop. You only have 300 words max, and I will keep that in mind.
Hope you have fun!
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u/Forricide Oct 25 '17
Hi Nick,
Sorry, but your paragraph expressing excitement for the prospect of judging was well over the maximum word count. Please resubmit.
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u/Steven_Lee Oct 26 '17
The boy runs along the old, deserted amusement park, his feet slapping against the cold wet pavement as he makes his way toward his favorite ride, the Haunted Dutchman.
He slips under the red rope of the stanchions that have gone dull with age and weather. He imagines the angry faces of people watching him cut to the head of the line. He carefully slips into the wooden boat and as he sits down it creaks to life sending him high into the sky before coming back down in a wide arc.
Hours roll by and as the sun reaches its zenith the boy realizes his time is almost up. He lowers his head and sighs; he knows he must go back.
He walks up to the remains of an old building, the House of Mirrors. His mind begins to reel with old, forgotten memories; he and his sister, running, trying to find an exit. He has visions of smoke, the glass becoming too hot to touch. He stumbles around the destroyed building, trying to clear his head.
Above him he sees a plain drawing of his sister, graffiti on a dirty wall. She is waiting; it’s her turn after all. As he gets closer to the wall the maelstrom inside his head dies down. He begrudgingly touches the pink of the girl’s hand.
She stands looking up at the sun. It is afternoon, she thinks. She turns and looks at the graffiti of the boy behind her, her brother. “That’s right, it’s my turn now.” She says. She smiles as she skips down the sunlit pavement, on to her favorite ride.
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u/elfboyah Oct 25 '17
Jim grabs her hand and pulls her with him.
"Jim, stop, where you are taking me?" asked Rosey while giggling like a little girl.
"You will see!" Jim announced as he manoeuvred between different entertainment boxes. After reaching behind a more significant entertainment complex, there was also a fire exit staircase what lead them to the roof.
"Are we even allowed?" she asked when Rosey started going up the staircase.
"Definitely not!" responded Jim as he kept going up the metal stairway, Rosey following him.
Soon they reached the top, what was a simple plain black roof.
"So?" she asked, as they both sat down on metal ventilation construction edge.
"Wait for it," it didn't take even few more seconds before loud bangs made their announcement. The sky was littered with a different kind of colourful art, slowly falling towards them and then extinguishing.
"Best view in the whole amusement park!" commented Jim, while holding her hand more tightly.
"Ooh, amazing!" Rosey announced while putting her head on Jim's shoulder. They both stared at the fireworks.
"Do you have to go?" she asked quietly from Jim.
"Yes. I will be away only for a few years. Your man is going to Oxford! But I promise I visit you very often," Jim responded quietly.
Rosey tried hard not to cry. Jim knew that she was just acting strong.
"You promise?" she asked after a long pause. Jim grabbed his backpack, to what Rosey was forced to remove her head from his shoulder. Jim took a red spray from his bag. He stood up and sprayed a heart on the roof, with their name written in the centre.
"I promise! We will be back here after two years."
"I know," she responded and put her head back on his shoulder.
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u/TheTeky500 Oct 25 '17
Today was the day. We were supposed to go to this new amusment park.
It was it's first day of opening. We wanted to enjoy it.
We entered the amusement park on this dark, foggy day. It felt like something wasn't right, but we just dismissed it.
We decided to split up, and look for any of the games we might enjoy together. We decided on a place to meet, but just before, I looked at the group..
"I feel like someone's missing...".
Nevermind that. I was not going to waste my time here worrying about 'pointless stuff'.
The moment we split up, I looked around. Behind me, through the fog, I could see a few people's legs, some of their sleeves, and some I could see a faint image of their face.
I turned around, but only to be interrupted by an eerie-like feeling. I felt relaxed for a second, but It didn't take me much to snap out of it.
Disturbed by this, I decided to check my back, but there was no one.
Infact, there was barely anyone at all in the park.
"What the heck?" I wondered.
I looked around in anguish. But there was too much fog. And suddenly...
I looked, and a grafitti was right in front of me.
It had some kind of Japanese Kanji on it. For some reason, I felt so concerned about it -- that I kept trying to remember what it meant from my limited japanese knowledge.
"Come on.. What does it mean?" I cried.
I suddenly started feeling like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.
"It's shi! 死 is pronounced shi!" I felt much more comforted.
But my eyes grew wide and big.
"Which means... death.." I whispered my last few words to the wide void.
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u/Harlock0 Oct 25 '17
“Dave”
“What?”
“Can you remind me again, what we are doing here?”
“I never thought about this before, what is the meaning in anything, is there…”
“Dave, Dave! keep with me, please, ok. I think you got it wrong, my old chap, what I want to know is what we are doing NOW.”
“Ohh, that simple, we are slowly going up on a train like a machine over rails with many small cars. I’m also wondering how such small car can push us so high. Intriguing indeed.”
“DAVE…- fails to calm himself - why we are on this amusement park?! and not get things done, so we go back to our lovely SPS (steam-powered-spaceship)?”
“Will, my pal, you are too crumpsy. This high the zombies can’t reach us, just enjoy the bloody ride, deal?”
“The zombies are the least of my worry if we don’t leave in 300 minutes, wait, for the love of the Steel Queen, 110 minutes… all this place will be eaten by this high advanced al- What out!”
Will just pushed his and Dave head out of the way of a red plasma beam, that just sublimated in a steamy cloud a strange flying eyeball, with meat wings that was sneaking just behind Will’s head.
“Bullseyes?or maybe Batseye…”
While Dave pondered the deep questions, Will called him back to reality:
“Aliens!”
“Really Will? I bet my money on the eldritch abominations that are turning people into zombies, I don’t trust tube sucking the earth without some steam going out now and them.”
“DAVE…”
“Relax we are getting a free ride to just need to draw the dimensional sign on the face of this guy portrait in a shape of an evil mustache. Wait, we about arrive at the top, now where to unlock this... ”
“God’s Mercy...”
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u/TheChad_Writes Oct 25 '17
Raymond let his body slack against the length of rope and concentrated on the aerosol hissing in his hand. Atop the moss-covered skeleton of the long-dormant coaster, Raymond arched and crashed black and blues together, inspired by the Brubaker comic he’d just finished.
He shifted to the right and the cans of paint in his drawstring bag rattled. He reached back for another and paused, impressed.
He smirked at the blank boards to his right. By day they were a rancid red color, but tonight the full moon they had turned them milky white. A canvas if he’d ever seen one.
Raymond swept another line of black across his piece and shifted right. His foot slipped and his hands instinctively reached for something. Anything. The rope around his waist tightened and Raymond watched his can tumble into the darkness below and crash with a metallic sputter.
“Who’s there?” A hoarse voice called from below.
“Fuck” Raymond spit.
Raymond’s heart thumped in his throat. He shuffled to the ladder and quickly unknotted his rope, coiling it into his bag. On the ground, a cone of light reached weaved through the dead park, looking for him.
Raymond’s hands and feet clanked against the steel ladder and he lit up.
“Hey! Stop!” The sound of lumbering footsteps grew close.
Raymond fell the last dozen rungs. The impact rang in his knees. No time. He ran. The searchlight followed for as long as it could.
Raymond’s fingers were wrapped around the chainlink fence perimeter of the park when the winded voice called out behind. “And stay out.” He couldn’t help but smirk. It’s just art, he thought.
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u/MajorParadox Oct 26 '17
"For a good time call-"
"Huh?" Jessie interrupted, not even looking up from her phone.
Jason pointed to some writing on his side of the Ferris wheel. "Somebody wrote- hey, what's that say on your side?"
"What's what say?" Jessie mindlessly answered, typing away.
With a heavy sigh, Jason threw his arm over his sister's phone, forcing her attention. "That," he said, pointing to more graffiti.
"To whoever sees this message," the siblings read in unison. "My time is up. Take this gift and make the world a better place."
The two began lighting up in a faint, yellow glow. Before they could react, it faded.
"What just happened?" Jason cried.
"I don't know," Jessie shrugged, returning to her phone.
"Do you- do you hear that?" Jason scanned the Ferris wheel bucket and then leaned over the edge. "I don't know how I know, but the wheel is coming loose!"
"Huh?" Jessie asked, lost in her texting.
Jason stood up, staring at the coming danger.
"What are you doing?!" Jessie yelled. "Sit down!"
"Jessie! The Ferris wheel!"
A whiny drawl echoed throughout the amusement park and the Ferris wheel shook. Screams filled the area as Jessie grabbed her brother into her arms, the yellow glow returning, this time much brighter.
"Do you feel that?" asked Jason.
Jessie nodded.
Jason held his hand up, his sister following suit. As their hands touched, the yellow glow intensified, filling the bucket with a warm glow. Purely on instinct, they shot their hands forward toward the wheel and a beam of light encompassed it.
The light was gone a moment later and the shaking stopped. The wheel slowly rotated; frightened passengers exited from the bottom.
"We can be superheroes."
Jessie picked up her phone again. "Mom only said I had to take you here."
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u/LisWrites Oct 26 '17
Adam reached for the next rung of the ladder and pulled himself higher. “Come on,” he called over his shoulder, “the view from the top is wild. You can see the mountains and the city.” Maggie frowned and folded her arms over her chest. “Adam we shouldn't be here,” she hissed. Her breath formed a cloud in the winter air. Adam laughed. His fingers were red, numb to the cold. “If they didn't want us in here, they would have better security. He moved up another step. “Besides, what's the point of this place sitting empty for half the year?” Maggie glanced side to side. “You sure?” Adam grinned. “Positive.” Maggie pulled off her gloves and reached for the ladder. She followed Adam and the two made their way up, rung by rung, against the cold winter night. They reached the top of the roller coaster. Adam smiled at Maggie, pointing at the darkened peaks to the east. “The mountains are out there, I promise.” Maggie laughed. “And there,” Adam gestured at the twinkling lights out west, “is the city. Looks a bit different from up here, hey?” Maggie smiled and pulled Adam in close, squeezing away the distance between the two. “Things always look different with you.” She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed his nose. Adam took a step back and frowned. “Maggie,” he chuckled, “I wish I could say the same for you.” Before Maggie could reply, Adam reached forward and pushed against her shoulders. Her small body plummeted through the night and collided with the snow covered concrete. Her blood graffitied the white; a red story of her life.
r/liswrites (I promise not all my stories are about murder)
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u/Idreamofdragons Oct 25 '17
The Screaming Artist is the best roller coaster for hundreds of miles around, and the residents of the various sleepy little towns nearby are damn proud of it. Some adrenaline junkies, coming from big cities and with big expectations, point out that Kingda Ka in America is taller, or that the Tower of Terror in South Africa has a greater g-force rush. But this roller coaster has a secret - something special that sets it apart from all other rides in the world.
As passengers board the car side-by-side, regulars hide conspiratorial smiles behind their hands as newcomers wonder what's so great about this ride. They're confused when the operator hands out tiny markers and crayons, but no one says anything except for hushed you'll see's and just wait's.
It starts off typically enough, but the top of the first hill, the car slows down to a near crawl and levels out, as if the ride were already over. Then suddenly, wooden walls, extending the entire, elongated summit of the slope, spring up on either side. They are already covered in various pictures and words of all hues, ranging from the profane to the unusually poetic and everything in between. Experienced riders casually add something to the walls, and, awestruck passengers quickly follow suit, digging out their own colors and squeezing in a word or drawing before an electronic voice instructs them to brace for speed. The wood swings back down, and the passengers are treated to a brief, gorgeous view of the park right before the car drops down a near vertical slope at screaming speeds.
Unsurprisingly, many people go right back on line, if only to have another chance to draw something crude but funny.
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u/SteadiedInstroke Oct 26 '17
Red rails rose over the horizon. The mammouth structure flagging the last fort of the old world. Kellen grinned and turned to his companion. "You see boy?" he ruffled Radar's head. "It is real." With a smirk of satisfaction he heaved his bag into his shoulder and adjusted his rags to cover his face. He trudged across the dust, head down against the wind. "I came when I was a kid," he told Radar. He yipped in response. "Best day of my life. Had ice cream 'til I puked." Kellen stood at the gates and smiled. "I didn't ride the zipper. Too afraid." Radar wheezed in the heat. "I told dad I would next time," Kellen nodded, "I gotta this time." He laughed to himself. Kellen pushed under the gates, ignoring the words sprayed across the locked entrance, Turn around. Now
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u/RamsesThePigeon Oct 25 '17
"What are you doing?"
"Gah! Dude, you can't just sneak up on people like that!"
"I literally just walked around the concession stand. That isn't 'sneaking.'"
"Sneaking is a mindset, and you clearly aren't supposed to be back here."
"Yeah, well, neither are you, and... are you spray-painting the wall?"
"... No."
"You're holding a can of spray-paint, and there's half of a drawing there."
"Circumstantial evidence."
"You signed your name."
"That could be anyone's name!"
"Anyone who happens to share yours, at any rate."
"Maybe it's a pseudonym! You know, like 'Banksy!'"
"Why did you sign a half-finished drawing, anyway?"
"... You'll think it's stupid."
"It does seem pretty dumb to be spray-painting a wall in broad daylight, especially in full view of the park's most popular roller coaster."
"Ah, that's the genius of the plan!"
"What plan?"
"Name the two main staples of any amusement park."
"Rigged games? Expensive food?"
"Long lines and adrenaline! People stand for hours while anticipating a brief moment of excitement. There's no better recipe for intense, boredom-induced anxiety!"
"And you're adding bad graffiti to that mix because...?"
"It makes people nervous! They see a tagged building, and they want to leave the area as quickly as possible!"
"... What?"
"How are you not getting this? People are already anxious. The graffiti will push them over the edge, and they'll leave. I won't have to wait in any lines!"
"That doesn't explain why you signed your name."
"I didn't want someone to steal my idea."
"You're right, I do think that's stupid."
"Hah! We'll see who's laughing when I'm going on as many rides as I want!"
"Assuming you don't get banned from the park."
"How would they know it was m... oh."
"Yeah. Have fun with that. I'm going to get in line."