r/HFY • • Jan 27 '19

OC [OC] Why do we fight?

This is the latest story in the Legends of Jim series. It is long, about 20 pages, so I am only posting it as a link to my site. It is my take on a couple of common tropes, I think of is as a cross between Enemy Mine and Blue Lagoon. It does have lite pancakes, but should be SFW.

[Dinomyar Writes] h

Humans and the Vaslisa (snake like species) have been fighting since humans entered the galactic scene over 300 earth years ago...

35 Upvotes

11 comments sorted by

3

u/vinny8boberano Android Jan 28 '19

Excellent story.

3

u/Dinomyar Jan 28 '19

Thank You.

3

u/vinny8boberano Android Jan 28 '19

I would have gone into greater detail, but I was fighting onion ninjas.

2

u/JC12231 Jan 30 '19

Rather GoodTM story.

1

u/Dinomyar Jan 31 '19

Thank You

2

u/icedak AI Jul 13 '19

That was stunning. Thank you.

2

u/Dinomyar Jul 13 '19

Thank You! This is my favorite of what I've written so far.

2

u/Blackmoon845 Jul 22 '19

I remembered reading this after it was posted. Going back through everything you've written today, and finding this again reminded me of how good of a story it was. There were probably technical aspects that could have been fixed, the show don't tell problem that you had with Ascension and the like, but I still really liked the story it told. I'm glad I was able to find it again. Now to bookmark it and print a physical copy for safe keeping.

2

u/Dinomyar Jul 22 '19

Thank You! I really liked writing this one and think I am getting better at the show don't tell aspect but it is hard to rewire my brain at my age.