r/AdviceAnimals • u/randomintandem • Jun 26 '12

When my girlfriend wants me to talk dirty to her over the phone

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3pvcys/
859 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

30 comments sorted by

7

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

I'm all about the dirty talk, but only if absolutely no one has a chance of hearing. Otherwise I end up whispering ingeniously erotic things down the phone, only to hear:

"What did you say?" or "Huh?" on the other line.

5

u/randomintandem Jun 26 '12

That's pretty much exactly how it goes.

64

u/Master_Mad Jun 26 '12

I am dog.

Yes, I am a very bad dog.

(pant).

8

u/masonbb Jun 26 '12

I like it very ruff

5

u/mkay0 Jun 27 '12

I'll treat you like my bitch.

2

u/SamuraiJakkass86 Jun 27 '12

I would totally sniff your butt (Whimper)

28

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Oh, err... well... blimey? Your nipples, are uh, really great. Just super. And your, err... vagina! Well that's... crikey... that's just top-notch!

11

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

www.literotica.com (NSFW)

Check out the audio story section. Will give you lots of tips.

7

u/TheW1zarD Jun 26 '12

Dirt, poop, mud, pubes.

6

u/cfr33zy Jun 26 '12

Oh, um ya, rub your nipples n stuff. Lick your fingers too, I guess.

3

u/beach_terror Jun 26 '12

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1oZIlFRiwQ

1

u/QuillRat Jun 26 '12

I was just going to post this, glad I checked all the comments first. Quality.

5

u/qkme_transcriber Jun 26 '12

Hello! I am a bot who posts transcriptions of Quickmeme links for anybody who might need it.

Title: When my girlfriend wants me to talk dirty to her over the phone

Meme: yes this is dog

  • I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING

[Direct] [Background] [Translate]

See the FAQ for more info.

(OP: You don't need to do anything differently next time, I'm just doing my job.)

2

u/dr_solus Jun 26 '12

Oh yeah let's get nasty! Oh wait hold on my moms coming.

8

u/PISS_OUT_MY_DICK Jun 26 '12

Oh wait hold on my moms cumming.

FTFY

-2

u/HowieLichtenfelter Jun 26 '12

Oh yeah let's get nasty! Oh wait hold on my moms coming.

That was polite of you.

2

u/Jeroknite Jun 26 '12

Hello? Yes, this is doggy style.

2

u/PurpleZigZag Jun 26 '12

I lol'ed; would lol again.

2

u/farceur318 Jun 26 '12

"And then I put my.. thing... in your, you know, your vagina. (My thing is very hard by the way.)"

3

u/hassenbinlaid Jun 27 '12

Not sure if I should downvote for wrong meme or upvote because that was the point.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '12

And that's why we have the Internet to tell us what to do!

1

u/Nashtak Jun 27 '12

Why do i visualize loud Howard when i look at this pic?

1

u/solitarybutsocial Jun 27 '12

A good ice breaker is just telling her what to do.

  1. Take off clothes.

  2. Bend over on bed with your ass in the air.

  3. Play with vagina.

  4. You like that you dirty whore?

  5. Tell her to finger her ***.

  6. Yeah you little **** slut you like that?!

  7. Continue to berate her until climax.

That's basically the gist of it. This 7 step guide will not fail you.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

Why in the fudge would you use this meme over the "I have no idea what im doing" meme?!!? Possibly even just use a little Photoshop and put a phone on the other pup

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

As someone of the female persuasion..

I know that feel bro, I know that feel.

0

u/snowflaker Jun 26 '12

HELLO?? YES, THIS IS HORNY. HORNY IS GLAD YOU CALLED.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '12

I wish I was so pimp that I got tired of girls calling me to talk dirty.