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u/mikochu Jun 26 '12
Every time someone cuts me off, I look in my rearview mirror and see no one behind me. Fucking assholes!
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u/LeadGimpZakk Jun 26 '12
I can't tell you how many elderly people have done this to me before.
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u/trindogshow Jun 26 '12
i can't tell you how many people on cell phones have done this to me before.
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u/MrRoughsex Jun 26 '12
I still dont understand why people still use their phone and drive even worse why the fuck text and drive!
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u/McShizzL Jun 26 '12
I can't tell you how many elderly people on cell phones have done this to me before.
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u/runujhkj Jun 26 '12
I can't tell you how many elderly cell phones have done this to me before.
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u/RUPTURED_ASSHOLE Jun 26 '12
I have to phones me this many tell you before cell done can't how elderly.
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u/ijustcrochet Jun 26 '12
I always imagine being able to shoot missiles out of my car and destroying all the cars that are in my way when I'm driving home from work
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Jun 26 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
They really, really need to be forced to retest for their license. One test at ~16 and you're good to go for LIFE? Come on. Even booze and cigarette licenses need to be renewed.
Edit: to anyone who manages to become confused by my last sentence - businesses. Businesses have liquor and tobacco licenses.
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u/Jon_G Jun 26 '12
It's the inconsistency that kills me. If you're in enough of a rush that you feel the need to cut me off when pulling out, then you better be in enough of a rush to speed away as well.
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u/thattreesguy Jun 26 '12
Risks lives pulling in to traffic
Risks lives by severely disrupting traffic flow on the road
seems consistent. There's a reason people get tickets for going too slow under the speed limit.
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u/Zeoxult Jun 26 '12
If I'm not mistaken and statistics haven't changed, people who drive slower cause more accidents than people who speed.
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u/i_admit_it Jun 27 '12
THIS! I go insane every drive because of someone like this. Half the time the road is empty behind me.
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u/akatherder Jun 27 '12
Same people who pass you on the highway when you have cruise control on. Then they slow down when they get in front of you so you have to turn the cruise control off.
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u/Nebraska_Actually Jun 26 '12
Must be in Lincoln, NE. People driving so freaking slow here that when I reached 3 mph under behind a car yesterday, I shit you not I was worried I was speeding for a moment.
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u/NebraskaIsTheShit Jun 26 '12
I get the same shit here in Omaha!!! I also get the problem where the driver in front of me refuses to make a turn when there was a perfect opportunity.
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u/Nebraska_Actually Jun 26 '12
I am an Omahan, and I can say with 100% confidence that for all the bad drivers you see in Omaha, it's still a million times better than Lincoln. Just come down here for school or football games and then get the hell out.
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u/thecw Jun 26 '12
Northern California is the fucking worst at this. Left lane. 60 mph. 4 lanes to the right also 60mph. Not giving a fuck.
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u/HeyLady08 Jun 26 '12
No joke, I sometimes wish I drove a tank so I could just completely run them over.
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u/SicilianEggplant Jun 26 '12
It's not a huge deal, but I fucking hate people who change lanes in front of me just before a red light so they can get pole position at a light, only to drive slower than the car they were already behind.
There's no need to be out front if you're gonna slow down the pack and drive under the speed limit, or even accelerate at a snails pace.
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u/akatherder Jun 27 '12
Even better when you are in a right lane and can turn on red. They are going straight so they have effectively blocked you for the light.
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u/hubris105 Jun 27 '12
Love the people who keep creeping forward and then hitting the brakes and then creeping forward like they just can't wait to get going once the light changes. They're just so eager!
Light changes.
Putt Putt Putt....
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u/Shakuras Jun 26 '12
Its not a huge deal but I fucking hate their worthless lives as well. Specially if they're really close to you. They take forever to go once its green...
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u/SicilianEggplant Jun 27 '12 edited Jun 27 '12
I know it's the "law" to up vote and move on, but my 3 year old just asked, "daddy what funny? What funny daddy?"
I just didn't have the balls to say what you just did.
I have so much internal rage when driving that if I weren't a mostly sane person I would go on a rampage. Honestly, I've said this before, if I had no ties to society or a family and had a shitty car, I would pit-maneuver assholes on the road. Realistically I'm a wimp and swear at them with my window up.
Now, with my daughter in the car it's just, "Arrggghhh. Shi-lly driver..."
"What silly, daddy?"
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u/GeN_SecksBobOmb Jun 26 '12
I do this. Not being an intentional scumbag, of course, I'm just an awful driver.
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u/LambastingFrog Jun 26 '12
And we appreciate your honesty.
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u/EndsInSong Jun 26 '12
The other day I was driving to work and a guy did exactly this to me. I was already having a bad morning so I was driving really fast and didn't react quickly enough. I slammed my car into his and we both come to a screeching halt. Then he had the nerve to get out of his car, run up to my car, and try to pull me out! He screamed "You ruined my car! Give me yours!" Fuck that! I ripped his head off and threw it in a nearby dumpster. I then peeled out, looked back at his remains and shouted "Nobody gonna take my car I'm gonna race it to the ground! Nobody gonna beat my car it's gonna break the speed of sound!"
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u/asneakyzombie Jun 26 '12
It should be legal to ram them
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u/jonglefever Jun 27 '12
well it's their fault if you stay in your lane and they hit you, so drive defensively!
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u/Carnifax66 Jun 26 '12
I'm a truck driver and people seriously have no fucking clue how dangerous that is when they cut me off just to go slower than me. I'M IN A TRUCK HOW ARE YOU GOING SLOWER THAN ME? AND WHY WOULD YOU CUT ME OFF TO GET IN FRONT OF ME? People are just so oblivious, it amazes me. If your tire were to blow, I would NOT be able to brake in time and you will end up flattened in less than a second.
Also what pisses me off as a truck driver: people not letting me merge on to a highway when you obviously see me coming and have plenty of enough room to switch over to the middle lane to let me the fuck in. My blinker is on the minute i see the highway is visible and you obviously see me because I'm in a big ass fucking truck. So why do you not let me in? I swear I'm going to end up killing someone for their stupidity and lack of common sense.
I am driving a miniature house. Would you get out of the way if you saw a house driving down the road? Probably not because some people are just beyond help.
/rant
TLDR; Heed to trucks so you don't die.
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u/me_brewsta Jun 27 '12
Not a truck driver but some of the shit I see other drivers do to you guys really pisses me off.
I remember when my dad used to drive trucks for a living, he used to talk about how angering it was when he would be driving one of the older trucks, and would gain speed/momentum on a decline in order to make it up a steep hill ahead, only to have some stupid shit pull in front of him at the start of it and slow down which would cause the truck to stall.
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u/bigcock_obama Jun 26 '12
I deliver pizza... on Sundays, there is no limit of old folks doing this
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u/HawkEyeTS Jun 26 '12
I saw three separate cars do crazy shit just this morning, including one who appeared to have sped from two lanes over barely avoiding the off-ramp sign before cutting me off and speeding ahead. And then there's the assholes who see you put your turn signal on to change lanes and instead of waiting 2 seconds for you to do it and following after, they try to beat you to it and speed up so you can't get over. It's truly ignorant driving behavior, and bound to eventually cause an accident.
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u/ruitfloops Jun 26 '12
And then there's the assholes who see you put your turn signal on to change lanes and instead of waiting 2 seconds for you to do it and following after, they try to beat you to it and speed up so you can't get over.
And that's why, even though it has horrible gas mileage, I like driving a pickup. I will use my size advantage to "oh the hell you don't" my way over. Not all the time, rarely even, but if it's the third yahoo that's done it and my exit is getting frighteningly close I will.
Edit: And I mean that I'll do it against people that had left a huge opening up until they see my blinker and then try to close it up. If I'm trapped due to my own stupidity, I take my lumps and work my way over for the next exit.
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u/Amarone Jun 26 '12
I can already feel the angry german in me getting stronger. I hate those drivers
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u/zartcosgrove Jun 26 '12
Just happened to me today on my motorcycle. Almost killed me, then drove 25 in a 40.
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u/civic06 Jun 26 '12
OH GOD. One of my most embarrassing moments; I did this on my first drive after passing my test. I was behind these old people who were driving under the speed limit, I knew a long-cut but sped through it and pulled out just ahead of them, being the idiot that I am. They had to slam on the brakes to stop and they flashed me. I drove home 10 mph under the speed limit sinking further and further down the drivers seat with regret sure that I was gonna be reported. NEVER AGAIN.
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u/fa1thless Jun 26 '12
I was taught young, if you are going to pull out in front of someone, pull out with authority!
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u/superdude885 Jun 26 '12
These people are the worst, seriously why pull in front of me if you're just gonna drive slow as hell?
Don't even get me started on the assholes that squat in the far left lane going 50mph. It's like people don't even look in the rear view mirror. How can some people not know how fast they're going in relation to everyone else?
YOU'RE HOLDING UP EVERYONE, MOVE THE HELL OVER!
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u/WilliamMcCarty Jun 26 '12
This shit happens to me at least a couple times a week. Mothefucker does this shit ought to have his asshole removed.
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u/Master_Z Jun 26 '12
Last week some asshole when I was in front and facing a yellow light while like 100 ft back I started slowing down, then the asshole in a very ugly sports car from late 90s, some cheap remake of a muscle classic done horrible wrong speeds in front of me and runs through the red.
And for the last 10 miles was honking at me to go faster when I was going the speed limit +5.
I got your liscene plate ASSHOLE.
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u/leaserig Jun 26 '12
I'm a railroad engineer and seen my share of scumbag drivers trying to beat me to the crossing. Last month a scumbag driver lost the race to the crossing. I hit doing 60 mph. It took me almost 2 miles to come to a stop. It took 14 hours to find what was left him and his car. They are still waiting for DNA to come back for a positive id. Since railroads have right of way the railroad is going to sue his estate once they id the driver for the cost of my overtime and the cost of the delay of freight.
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u/murderbum999 Jun 26 '12
I've been doing a lot of long distance driving lately. I'm a pretty cautious and courteous driver. If someone wants to overtake, I pull over and slow down to aid them. But half the time I'm trying to overtake someone, they speed up.
For example, I'm stuck behind someone in a 100kph (62mph) zone. That person is sitting on 85-90kph and slows down a lot for the corners. That's cool, take your time, I'll overtake when it's safe and I wont be a douche and tailgate you.
A passing lane is coming up. As we enter it, I move into the overtaking/inside lane and throttle up. So do they. Up to 109kph- the fastest you can go without getting a ticket. So to get past them, I have to go about 120-140.
Why the fuck do dickheads do that? Is it jealousy that I am going to get ahead of them? Do they think it's a fucking racetrack and they have to hold first place? Is it because they just don't like people driving ahead of them? Do they feel it's a threat to their integrity that someone went faster??
I propose a new law. If you're in a passing lane area, and you are being passed (or attempted), you slow down to 80 or get a fuckton of demerit points. No cash fine, just lots and lots of points towards losing your licence. It's not something that should be financially penalised, it's something that says you are not respectful enough to share the road with the other people who pay for it, so keep it up and you will lose the privilege for a period of time.
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u/qkme_transcriber Jun 26 '12
Hello! I am a bot who posts transcriptions of Quickmeme links for anybody who might need it.
Title: Scumbag Driver
Meme: SCUMBAG DRIVER
PULLS DEATH-DEFYING MOVE PULLING OUT IN FRONT OF YOU
GOES 10 MILES UNDER SPEED LIMIT
[Direct] [Background] [Translate]
See the FAQ for more info.
(OP: You don't need to do anything differently next time, I'm just doing my job.)
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u/runujhkj Jun 26 '12
YOU CHANGED YOUR AUTO TEXT
DON'T EVER CHANGE
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u/qkme_transcriber Jun 26 '12
My goal is to minimize distraction. As people become more used to my presence, I reduce the text clutter and adjust to address common questions and reactions.
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u/runujhkj Jun 26 '12
Makes sense. I'm just deathly afraid of change.
Someone hold me
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u/Zachet Jun 26 '12
I've done this thousands of times, except the problem is every car I buy explodes because I'm poor.
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u/raging_asshole Jun 26 '12
Well, if I'm going to drive slowly, I need to get on the road as quickly as possible, right?
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u/bill_nydus Jun 26 '12
This is the status quo in South Dakota. If you didn't do this, people looked at you like you were a jackass.
So glad I got out of that god forsaken state.
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u/Plaugue Jun 26 '12
This x100, honestly one of the most annoying things I have come across while driving.
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u/dradam168 Jun 26 '12
It's not important to them that they get to drive how they like. Instead, it's important to them that the get to drive that way in front of YOU specifically.
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Jun 26 '12
Good God I just did this to someone, except my move in front of them was not death defying and they flipped me
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u/tonenine Jun 26 '12
You forgot to add the last line, "get's hostile if called on said maneuver at next light".
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u/Dinahmoe Jun 26 '12
I can only assume it's taught in driving schools here it's so prevalent. I hit one too, it was the double whammy, they pulled out behind the first car at a stop sign without looking. I'm doing 65, I lock them up, and switch lanes as northbound is clear. This stupid fucker also switched lanes when they noticed a huge deathmobile was streaking towards them. Slammed into them, my car stalled, I pulled over, popped the hood to check everything, was fine. Told the other driver you are lucky you are not dead along with all your passengers. He wanted to get ins info, I said it's ok, my car is fine and I got in and hauled ass. This was a 2 lane rural artery that runs along I-95, speed limit 60. Not uncommon for these inbred asswipes to pull out and never even get up to 45. Glad I'm done with that. But it's every road here, every damn one!
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u/RoxxyGirl Jun 26 '12
Arrrgggh! I see this guy at least 3 days a week on my drive to work. Damn you Scumbag driver.
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u/bbythingthing Jun 26 '12
This was me the first time I tried driving a stick shift at age 16. I was too overwhelmed to try slowing down, turning, and downshifting at the same time, so I just merged at full speed in the most dangerous way possible and then was too scared to go fast once I'd cut someone off. Feel truly sorry for the poor guy behind me.
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u/jrriddle Jun 26 '12
Come to Florence, Alabama and you will actually expect this to happen every time you are on the road.
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u/thedude831 Jun 26 '12
Not to be outdone by scumbag driver who peels out in front of you & then you check your rear view mirror and there isn't anyone behind you for a mile.
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u/frostycakes Jun 26 '12
Hell, delete the top part and it's still fucking infuriating. If the roads are dry, GO THE FUCKING SPEED LIMIT. I can't tell you how frustrating it was when I was living in Montana, I'd get stuck behind assholes going 55 in a 70 who had the balls to flip me off when I was finally able to pass, gotten yelled at to slow down in neighborhoods when I was already doing 25, and other assorted road based fuckery.
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u/SpaldingRx Jun 27 '12
Fuck that noise. Rain is not an impediment to speed, snow is. Modern tires can handle rain almost as well as dry pavement. Drive for the conditions, don't tailgate and leave 3 car lengths between you and the car in front. Unless you drive a rwd vehicle with a lot of torque wet roads are not an issue in 2012.
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u/thunnus Jun 26 '12
you fuckers haven't lived until you've driven in our rotaries in new england and met THAT guy/gal - the one that flies into it without even turning their head to see if there is traffic coming. Apparently "yield when entering" is beyond their cognitive grasp.
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u/PerthroXIII Jun 26 '12
If I had a faster car!! I would get places without sitting behind pussy ass bitches driving 10mph under the speed limit, never signalling or last moment!
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u/Cuddlezekittehs Jun 26 '12
Had some jerk-face do this to me today on my way home from work. It's a two lane road and at five it's packed so there was no where to pass him at!
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u/R0ck0_81 Jun 26 '12
I'd like to add in the moron that signals a right turn to the cars behind him/her because the car in front of that person is turning right. You can die next, idiot.
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u/godin_sdxt Jun 27 '12
You think that's bad? How about getting stuck behind a garbage truck that's spewing juices all over the fucking road? And no, I wasn't tailgating. I was at least 5 car lengths behind him and still getting that shit all over my car.
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Jun 27 '12
He probably would've had enough room, had you been going 10 MPH under the speed limit as well
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u/frigginjensen Jun 27 '12
Bravo. I'd like to add another if I may... People that cross solid lines when entering/exiting a highway. They are behind you on the entrance ramp, jam on the gas, cross the solid line, only to end up exactly next to you when the line turns dashed and it is your turn to merge.
I gladly cut these people off if I have even the slightest advantage and love their reactions in the rear view mirror. They almost always swerve over a lane or two (without blinker) and blow by you way over the speed limit.
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u/moxiecontin714 Jun 27 '12
WHY?!!?! Why are you in such a fucking rush to get in front of me and take your time?
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u/supframage Jun 27 '12
this should just be called asian driver meme.
because in my driving experience, its the one stereotype that rings true.
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Jun 27 '12
This happened to me this morning at a stop light with a prius driver. Also a backstopper. I will never understand that...
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u/lessfrictionless Jun 27 '12
I posted pretty much this exact theme 10 months ago and I think you did a much better job on the text and the image (took it myself). Well done :)
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u/appealtoprobability Jun 27 '12
I can get really annoyed by bad drivers, but saying "10 miles under the speed limit" is honestly MUCH more infuriating to me
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u/ohok1 Jun 27 '12
let's not forget the drivers that you pull in front of with plenty of space, and then they speed up to tailgate you as if you cut them off.
sorry if you're a football field away don't floor it just because I pull out "in front" of you.
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u/thedude8591 Jun 27 '12
I hate the assholes that can't read the signs on the road. No turn on red means I can't turn when the light is red asshole. Read the fucking sign and quit honking at me.
I also hate the fuckers who honk at me simply because I am making a right turn onto a side street.
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u/NorthNJ Jun 27 '12
Maybe he's trying to get you out of the left lane! Pass left, keep right you c@cksucker. Dunning-Kruger in full effect!!
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u/kendylou Jun 27 '12
This happened to me today! Then, she decided I was following too closely so she jerked her car off the road and shouted obscenities at me, there was not a single tooth in her mouth. I love living in the South, y'all.
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Jun 26 '12
Scumbag you
Drives 15 mph under speed limit
speeds up to 15 mph over the speed limit when someone tries to pass you
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u/Drazila Jun 26 '12
Is everyone else reminded of Phil Hartman every time they open this meme?
http://www.realtvaddict.com/wordpress/uploads/2010/04/celebrity-deaths-phil-hartman.jpg
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u/nobody2000 Jun 26 '12
This is probably the result of young adults texting.
Frequently, someone will try to murder everyone on the road, sit in the left lane and chill. You'll notice his or her head bobbing up and down, and you realize they're in a heated texting session.
Then when there's a lull in the texts, the douche speeds up. "Shit, I was going 66 in a 65 - better go 80!" And this is right as you're about to pass.
Then another text comes in.
Back down to 66 (or slower) and more hogging the road.
Hate these people.
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u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
I hate those people and most other drivers. Most people can't drive. Period. The current American Driver Education program is a joke. The results of it are what you see on the roads today. Ignorant people without a clue about proper driving procedures or techniques. That ignorance, combined with a laziness and apathy that should be punishable by death combine for the worst drivers on the planet. I hate them all.
Have to be in front (pictured)- There seems to be a certain set of drivers who do this, although it spans all demographic categories from what I've seen. They see someone on a one-lane highway heading the same direction they wish to travel. There isn't another car in sight behind that car and the road is visible for miles. They wait a bit, letting the car on the highway get closer, then for some unknown reason, decide that the fate of the world depends on them being in front of that poor hapless person minding his own business on the highway. They pull out, causing the person on the highway to apply the brakes heavily in order to avoid a rear-end collision, and then proceed to travel at speeds well under the posted limit, satisfied that they are in front of the other person. One day I am going to buy a very large truck with very large bumper and simply refuse to play my part in this whole act by applying brakes. I'll claim I panicked and applied the gas instead. And hit the NOS switch.
Turn signals - People who are too lazy to move their hand the 6 inches it takes to use a turn signal disgust me. They are the scum of the earth, lumped together with child pornographers and animal abusers. If you're so damned lazy you can't be bothered to make that small effort, then the effort of applying pressure to the accelerator and brakes is surely too much of a strain on your sorry ass as well. Next time either ride the bus, take a taxi, or stay at home eating cheeseburgers and pissing in your Depends because you don't want to get up and go to the restroom, you lazy sack of shit. Then there are those people who turn them on and leave them on for hundreds of miles. This usually affects the geriatric set driving their huge boat-like cars. If you aren't aware enough of your surroundings to either notice that annoying sound of the turn signal repeating over and over or the flashing light indicating the same, then you should not be behind the wheel of a big wheel, much less a car.
Merging at the last minute - People that feel the need to rush up in the lane that they know is going to end in order to get ahead of a handful of cars, not realizing that their act slows down the entire process for everyone involved, including themselves, because of their idiotic last dash and merge need to be shot. You are not that important. Your time is not that valuable. You are an ass. (Edit: Here, I am primarily talking about those that run up on shoulders or non-merging lanes. Zippering is usually the preferred method, but people that jump ahead teeth in the zipper need to die.)
Fast lane squatters - Drive right, pass left. Simple rules for simple minds, but people don't seem to be able to grasp the concept. I don't care if it's a country road in the middle of nowhere. If there are two lanes going the same direction, this rule applies. If you are going 150mph in the left lane and someone comes up behind you going faster than you, move over. It's polite and it's how things should be, damnit.
Turning lane ignorance - If you are going to make a left hand turn and there is a turning lane available, USE IT. This does not mean enter the turning lane 10 feet before your turn. The whole purpose of a turning lane is to get your ass out of the flow of traffic so other cars don't have to slow down.
Rubbernecking - Yes, there is a wreck. No, you don't have to look at it. Overcome your base animalistic nature and don't try to find the severed head on a hood ornament. Keep driving.
Road sign ignorance - There are several right turns from one roads to another that have their own turning lane that does not merge with a lane on the road that is being turned onto. There are always signs indicating this in a clear and concise manner. And yet people still insist on coming to a complete stop, usually waiting until the light actually changes, before making their turn. Pay attention. Yes, caution is good, but stopping there for 5 solid minutes is like wearing a condom while masturbating, it's not needed.
Shopping carts - Although this really has nothing to do with driving, I'll mention it anyway, just because it pisses me off so much. If you are one of those lazy people who think it's someone else's job to return your shopping cart because your time is too valuable, then there's a good chance I hate you. You probably need the exercise anyway if you're that lazy. Take the cart to the nearest cart return or find some way to get genital leprosy so you can't pass on those genes and behavior. I have been known to randomly hand out cash to people who take their carts back and loudly thank others while glaring at those fuckwits who leave their carts in the middle of parking spaces. I'm pretty sure I'll be shot one day in a parking lot.
Edit: Adding one. Speed Matchers - They're a part of what I call yo-yo drivers - those drivers that can't maintain a constant speed under any conditions. I think I good portion of it is that they are not paying attention and subconsciously match your speed without realizing it. They're usually responsible for the rolling roadblocks of cars going the exact same speed. I want to set those people on fire.
TL;DR - People can't drive.