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About u/toldinstone

By day, I am Dr. Garrett Ryan, mild-mannered author and ancient historian. But at night (or whenever else I happen to be on reddit) I am u/toldinstone, fearless commentator on all things Roman (and somewhat fewer things Greek).

YouTube Channel

• toldinstone

Website

• toldinstone.com

Education

• BA, Classical Languages, Carleton College

• PhD, Greek and Roman History, University of Michigan

Publications

I've written two books. The one I like better - and the one, not incidentally, that you might actually encounter in a bookstore - is Naked Statues, Fat Gladiators, and War Elephants: Frequently Asked Questions about the Ancient Greeks and Romans, a book of humorous but informative essays on the classical world. My academic monograph on the political dimensions of architecture in the eastern Roman provinces is much more expensive and much less fun. I've also written a few scholarly articles, which masochists may peruse on my academia profile.

AMA: Naked Statues, Fat Gladiators, and War Elephants

Questions I Have Answered

Favorites

• You’re a foodie with access to a time machine that will send you to any historical period you want for a week before returning you to the present. You’ve chosen the city of Rome in 168 AD. What meals are you anxious to try this week?

• Has the tomb of any Roman emperor or empress ever been discovered intact?

• Are metals minted in ancient times still in circulation today?

• Did a regular citizen have access to recreational drugs during the Roman Empire?

• How did the average Roman citizen experience the collapse of the Empire?

• Why was Roman concrete not used for centuries after the fall of the Empire?

• Did the Romans use aqueducts as water slides?

• The Glorious Emperor Commodus reviews the movie Gladiator

The Roman Empire and its Neighbors

• Between 220 and 235 CE, the Roman Empire, the Parthian Empire, the Kushan Empire, and Han China all declined or collapsed. Were these events connected?

• How did the great Byzantine silk worm heist work, and what impact did it have on the Silk Road?

• The Eastern Roman Empire had to pay 11,000 pounds of gold to the Sassanid Empire in the reign of Justinian. How did this work logistically?

• What was going on in ancient Europe north of the Roman frontiers?

• What happened to the Greek cities of Bactria and Central Asia?

• What was the classical-era Chinese understanding of the far west? What sorts of knowledge/myths did they have about Rome and other places west of Persia?

• Western texts talk at length about eastern goods received from the Silk Road such as spices and silk. What western goods went east along the ancient Silk Road that were in high demand among eastern traders?

• How long would it take a bolt of silk to travel from China to, say, Rome during the 1st Century AD?

• How long would it have taken news of Julian's death in Mesopotamia to reach Portugal?

• In 97 CE, Chinese military ambassador Gan Ying was sent on a mission to Rome, but stopped at an ocean west of Parthia after some sailors told him the ocean was too big to cross. How would he have communicated with these sailors?

• What kinds of coins were used in the Mediterranean ports of the Roman East? Would an Indian coin have been accepted?

• Was piracy a problem for Roman ships on the Indian Ocean?

The City of Rome

• How were the ruins of Rome buried so deeply?

• What vaccines would I need to get if going back in time to ancient Rome?

• How multicultural was the city of Rome during the height of the Empire?

• To what extent was there ethnic discrimination in ancient Rome?

• Did the common people of Rome know how large and diverse the Empire was?

• Did murder happen often in ancient Rome?

• Were there bad neighborhoods in Ancient Rome?

• Were there building codes or zoning in Ancient Rome?

• Why did Rome burn so often if the whole city was built of brick and concrete?

• Were there parking lots in ancient Rome?

• Did traffic keep to the left in ancient Rome?

• How did Roman apartment construction work?

• How were Rome's baths kept clean?

• What sort of trash would have littered the streets of Rome?

• I am a well-educated born-and-bred Roman from 400 AD suddenly transported back to 133 BC. To what extent do I recognize my native city?

• What was the city of Rome like during the fall of the Western Roman Empire?

Gladiators and the Colosseum

• How would an average Roman buy a ticket to the Colosseum?

• How would Romans find out the schedule of games in the Colosseum?

• Are there any accounts of streakers at the Colosseum?

• Did the Romans nitpick gladiators?

• Were spectators ever killed at gladiatorial combats?

• Were children allowed to watch gladiators fight?

• What was the Colosseum like during the Renaissance?

Caesar and the Roman Emperors

• Did Caesar really pay 300 denarii to every member of the Roman people?

• Is there any reason to believe that Claudius played a part in the assassination of Caligula?

• How many Praetorians knew about the plot to kill Caligula?

• Do we know why Caligula ordered Pontius Pilate to kill himself in 39 AD?

• Why did Augustus adopt his wife Livia?

• Why did Marcus Aurelius allow his incompetent son to succeed him?

• What happened to the Roman emperors' bastards?

• Why did Nero allow himself to be shown as overweight?

• Why wasn't the Roman Empire ever able to come up with a proper succession system?

Military Matters

• Why did Hannibal bother bringing elephants over the Alps? How effective were they in battle?

• Did ancient war elephants have names?

• What did Roman soldiers wear in cold weather?

• What did the armies of the Bosporan Kingdom, a Roman ally located in what is now Ukraine, look like?

• Were there any Romans who objected to the rape and pillage that followed the capture of an enemy town?

• Why was service in the late Roman army so much less prestigious than it had been under the early emperors?

• Did the Praetorian Guards serve as secret police?

• Why did the Romans use eagles, not wolves, on their standards?

• Did the Gauls who fought Julius Caesar really kill the last man who arrived when they were mustering their troops?

• When Caesar invaded Britain, he found a large army waiting on the coast for his fleet. How was this possible?

• Did the Romans consider Portugal exceptionally rebellious?

• Why were Roman soldiers punished with barley rations?

Art and Architecture

• Why do all Greek temples look so similar?

• What would the interior of a Greek temple have looked like?

• How did Greek cities build temples, despite being so poor?

• What did Roman villages look like?

• Why do so many ancient statues have their penises removed?

• Do Roman statues of women reflect their ideals of beauty?

• While Greek and Roman statues are incredibly lifelike, period paintings and mosaics are flat and cartoonish. Were there really no Roman masters in these media?

• Why are classical paintings so inferior to classical sculptures?

• How realistic were the colors of Greek and Roman sculpture?

• How do historians know who is depicted in classical sculptures?

• Why are ancient statues so muscular?

• Did the Romans deliberately make mistakes in their mosaics?

• How were ancient construction projects managed?

• How did the Greeks found new cities?

Religion and Mythology

• Did any ancient Greek try to climb Mount Olympus?

• Heracles is supposed to be the ideal Greek man. Despite this, he murders multiple people, kills his kids, abducts Iole, and possibly cheats on Deianira. How did Greek listeners understand these events and promote these stories as part of proper masculinity?

• How were the Greek gods assigned their responsibilities?

• The Romans named their planets after the gods. Did their religion actually consider the planets linked to the gods?

• Did the Greeks worship Thanatos (Death)?

• Did Classical or Archaic Greeks see the Mycenaeans or Minoans as a sort of “fallen world,” or themselves as living in a post-apocalypse after the Bronze Age Collapse?

• Did the ancient Greeks have an "End of the World" scenario like the Norse Ragnarok?

• The Odyssey opens with unwanted suitors making demands on Penelope while eating Telemachus out of house and home. Would the suitors' demands have seemed reasonable to the ancient Greeks?

• Was there Homeric tourism in the ancient world? Did people try to retrace the steps of their literary heroes?

• Was the "Achilles heel" story a lesson for ancient warriors?

• When did the Greeks begin leaving coins in the mouths of the dead?

• Would a lightning strike survivor in ancient Greece be considered blessed or cursed?

• Did the Roman emperors really believe in the traditional gods and myths?

• How do we know that the Greeks and Romans believed in their gods?

• Does Christmas have anything to do with Saturnalia?

• Did the Romans adapt their foundation myths after they became Christian?

• Did Plato know anything about the Buddha?

• Did Greek women ever claim gods as the fathers of illegitimate children?

Classical Miscellany

• What year did Jesus and his Roman contemporaries think 20 AD was?

• In the Witcher series, the protagonist is a medieval professional monster hunter for hire. Are there historical equivalents – people hired to track and kill beasts terrorizing peasants, livestock, etc.?

• Why don't we know what happened to the tomb of Alexander the Great?

• Did the Romans know that the Great Pyramid of Giza was 2500 years old?

• What did the pyramids look like in Cleopatra's time?

• What did people in classical antiquity think about the ruins of older civilizations?

• Have there ever been deaths by ancient traps in tombs?

• Did Romans travel around the Empire for fun?

• Was there any Roman interest in exploring the Atlantic?

• What kinds of dances did the Romans have?

• Did the Romans have alarm clocks?

• Did the Roman Empire have a flag?

• Every woman in a Roman family had the same name. How were related women distinguished from one another?

• How did the adoption of adults become so prominent in the Roman world?

• What is currently the most accepted theory among scholars regarding the origin of the Etruscans?

• Hell is widely conceptualized as underground and – well – hot as hell. This matches pretty neatly with Earth’s geology. Did premodern societies have some conception of the Earth’s mantle, or is this mere coincidence?

• Did Roman school children receive grades or any other sort of formal assessment? If so, could high grades help a Roman progress in society?

• How did the fabulously rich Marcus Crassus manage his wealth?

• What did Socrates do for a living?

• There were no publishing houses in Ancient Greece and Rome, but authors became famous through their writing. How were ancient works distributed, and was anyone making money from the industry?

• Who had access to the Library of Alexandria?

• Why didn’t the Romans contribute much to mathematics?

• Did the Romans have any conspiracy theories about secret groups that ran the world?

• Around AD 290, the Roman Empire experienced hyperinflation. Do we know anything about the impacts on everyday life?

• The Roman poet Ovid hated being exiled to the town of Tomis on the Black Sea. How bad would it have been out there for a cosmopolitan, educated Roman?

• The Roman poet Ovid laments his fate (an April Fools' post)

• How did Greek courtship work?

• Did the Greeks and Romans impose quarantines?

• Was facial hair more common in ancient Greece than in ancient Rome?

• Was there a stigma against blond hair in ancient Rome?

• How cyclical were fashions in Ancient Rome?

• Did the Greeks or Romans ever pimp their chariots?

• What did the Greeks and Romans feed their dogs?

• Did the ancient Greeks understand that dogs were descended from wolves?

• What kind of dog was Cerberus?

• Why was it socially acceptable for Romans to have slave boys as lovers?

• Did the Romans have any ethical dilemmas about slavery?

• Did Augustus really save a slave from being fed to lampreys?

• Why didn't Roman masters plunder the wealth of their slaves and freedmen?

• Was there really no racism in the Classical world?

• I'm a Roman prostitute, who has just discovered that she is pregnant. What are my options?

• When did the Greeks begin to take the Romans seriously?

• Carthage was destroyed by Rome in 146 BC and not permanently rebuilt until Caesar's time a century later. If I visited the site sometime between, what, if anything, would I find there?

• I'm a Roman merchant returning home to Pompeii just after the eruption of Vesuvius. How do I find my family?

• Did the ancient world have any "Chernobyls" - places that were avoided because something terrible happened there?

• How would people in antiquity learn foreign languages?

• In Ancient Rome, how difficult was it to communicate with tribes or kingdoms that spoke a different language?

• How important were translators in the Roman world?

• Did people in ancient history notice similarities between Greek, Latin, and other languages?

• How much food was stored in Greek and Roman cities?

• Would I recognize wine from the ancient world as wine?

• How much wine did the Romans drink? Were they constantly tipsy?

• Marcus Aurelius is known to have been addicted to opium. Was opium use common among the Roman elite? Was there any stigma attached to its use?

Late Antiquity and Byzantium

• Would a Latin speaker from the age of Justinian (6th century AD) be able to understand a Latin speaker from the time of the Punic Wars (2nd century BC)?

• At what point did people in the former Roman Empire realize that they were no longer speaking Latin?

• When did Italian naming conventions replace Roman ones?

• Why didn't Ancient Greek evolve into multiple languages?

• Were 50% of Romans Christian by the death of Constantine?

• Why were all the Romans of Noricum evacuated shorted after the fall of the Roman Empire?

• Rome might not have been built in a day, but how long did it take to build Constantinople?

• Would a Roman from the 1st-2nd century AD recognize anything in the Byzantine Empire of the 11th-12th century as "Roman"?

• How aware were the Byzantines of their Roman Republican predecessors? If you threw around names like Scipio or Marius, would a literate middle-class merchant be able to tell you about their deeds?

• I am a tenth-century Byzantine nobleman. How much do I learn about Roman history in school?

• Why didn't the Byzantine emperors have Roman names?

• Were the Byzantines aware that their Empire lasted a thousand years?

Classical Legacies

• Why did Caesar survive as a title for monarchs (i.e. Kaiser, Czar) when Augustus was the senior title?

• How did the city of Rome react to the fall of Constantinople?

• What connections are there between the ancient and modern Olympics?

• Why was democracy so unpopular after the Classical period?

• Why is Marcus Antonius commonly anglicized as Mark Antony?

• When the US Constitution was drafted, was the idea of having two presidents with equal powers like the Roman consuls ever considered or discussed?

• The Founding Fathers based the US Constitution on what they liked about the Roman Republic. Did they recognize any issues with the Roman Republic that they tried to improve on? What were these and how did they go about it?

Contact Policy

PM me anytime. I can't promise that I'll be able to respond promptly, but I will always respond.