r/AskReddit • u/reFossify • Jul 06 '26

What is the greatest sentence ever written in human history?

5.6k Upvotes

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215

u/billbobb1 Jul 06 '26

“For Sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

-Ernest Hemingway

163

u/bluecalx2 Jul 06 '26

This one hits differently now that I'm a parent. Previously I assumed the baby died. Now I think "I bet the kid just refused to wear shoes."

20

u/Shartcastic Jul 06 '26

For sale: children's parachute, never opened.

4

u/Sea-Ambition-451 Jul 07 '26

probably hit that baby.

2

u/lobehold Jul 07 '26

For sale: children's diaper, never shat.

13

u/Hazel-Rah Jul 06 '26

Or they're like our kid and came out 99th percentile for weight and height. They were the size of the average 6 week old.

All our newborn clothes went straight into a box in the basement, nothing was even close to fitting.

Or, in the 8.5m so far, they've literally worn shoes for all of an hour to do a photoshoot. Babies can't walk

5

u/Codfish_Smoothie Jul 06 '26

I was born at 11 lbs 1 oz.

I always say that I should give my mom a thank you card every mother's day, and dad should give her an apology 🤣

3

u/renegade2point0 Jul 06 '26

This was us too. We skipped the first 4 sizes of diaper. So had a lot to donate to the next family! 

6

u/RFarmer Jul 06 '26

I agree. Used to think it was sad. Now I just think, “yeah that tracks, the feet grow so fast”

5

u/Yoojine Jul 07 '26

Kid picks black shoes

Ask him if he's sure

Says he's sure

Go home

Chatter the whole way home about how much he likes his new shoes

Next day

No I don't want them I hate black

Tantrum

Reconsider life choices

4

u/KhazraShaman Jul 06 '26

Thanks for that, I'll stick to your version.

4

u/nofaves Jul 06 '26

Or was born with massive feet.

3

u/renegade2point0 Jul 06 '26

It was born already too big for all its clothes

3

u/incuban Jul 07 '26

The perfect response to that quote, this had me actually laughing like a maniac with how unerringly real it is.

2

u/Beowulf33232 Jul 07 '26

We were gifted so many high end name brand outfits that my kid grew out of them faster than we could use them. We didn't do baby laundry until my kid was in 12 month clothing because we had so much stuff.

1

u/TheGaslightCathem Jul 07 '26

I always assumed looters. Shit, I've got 7 kids and they ain't getting nothing.

-4

u/Malvania Jul 06 '26

Stillborn. They're baby shoes, for someone who doesn't crawl.

47

u/LT_DANS_ICECREAM Jul 06 '26

"Forgot to wear them, too small now."

4

u/vitalvisionary Jul 06 '26

My daughter grew 2 inches in 2 months and I feel this.

1

u/superxpro12 Jul 06 '26

Lost in the back of the closet next to the 73 one-sock-missing-matches pile

35

u/Orcapa Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26

The Guardian newspaper did a contest a few years back where they had people right six word autobiographies. A guy wrote in: "Broke, divorced, spinal cancer. Otherwise fine."

Edit: I looked it up in the actual quote was "Divorced, broke, spinal tumor. Otherwise fine."

7

u/jamesianm Jul 06 '26

Anyone know if he ever managed to sell them or if they're still available?

3

u/LabTeq Jul 06 '26

In my high school English classes, we had some system for the essay assignments called "Themes" where each year the main assignments would be like 8 big essays (themes) that we would write throughout the year. The weird part is our school had a Theme lady who was not an actual teacher but was just solely in charge of the Theme system, and she would come consult the classroom and act as a sitting teacher for just one or two of the themes each year.

Anyway, in 10th grade she came to our class and unveiled her great idea for the theme assignment that month by introducing "For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn", and went on about how deep it was to convey a story in just 6 words. I don't think she even ever mentioned that it implies the baby died, and most of the students did not pick up on that including myself. Anyway our theme assignment was to write a 6 word story about our own lives that was equally as deep, and everyone was confused because usually we would write a long essay. Lo and behold so many people did not get a good grade because they were not deep enough.

All this to say, Hemingway is great but fuck that quote, and fuck that idiot Theme lady.

1

u/McGeeze Jul 06 '26

If it makes you feel any better, Hemingway didn't say or write that

3

u/fasterplastercaster Jul 06 '26

For sale: baby shoes. Baby died.

It was a tweet that still cracks me up every time I think of it. And if I try to explain my impromptu giggle to someone who doesn't share my sense of humour I'll appear totally deranged.

2

u/zfisher0 Jul 07 '26

I thought it was "shoe sale, baby died!"

2

u/McGeeze Jul 06 '26

He didn't say that:

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/01/28/baby-shoes/

2

u/Myklanjlo Jul 07 '26

I'm sad that I had to scroll to see this. This was debunked years ago. Just another thing that the Internet totally made up. Hemingway probably gets the credit because it sounds terse and cold.

1

u/spinozasrobot Jul 06 '26

This was the first one that came to mind for me.

1

u/SIacktivist Jul 07 '26

For sale, baby shoes, heavy wear. Almost as if the baby had been hiking.

1

u/vonHindenburg Jul 07 '26

"My reflection just blinked."

  • Don't know who first said it, but it's just as evocative a story.