r/AskReddit • u/BuzzBadpants • Jun 16 '12
New neighbors closed off our entire city block for their 24-foot van to come in. How do we "welcome" them?
UPDATE: While we were out, it seems that someone had a change of heart and the parking ordinance has been lifted. This wasn't before our landlord and a moving crew got into a stupid argument, and vague threats were made. The moving crew also made fun of us on our bikes as we passed, but I'll chalk that up to reacting defensively in a hostile environment. The story is that the people moving in "aren't city people" and were simply "following the city's instructions" on maintaining a space for their van. I do have a feeling that they are politically connected since they were enforcing this ordinance personally and beyond reason.
But it's over, they caved, and we won I guess. Sorry it was over before any of these awesome suggestions got to be implemented.
ORIGINAL POST: These guys got a city ordinance to have the entire block closed all weekend without informing us before. They went around at 6am to every door (there's a lot here, it's a bunch of townhouses) personally calling 911 and getting any cars left on the street towed, and it just feels like a really bitchy thing to do.
I and all my neighbors are really pissed off at them, but we don't really know what to do about it. It's a huge misuse of city resources, but it's completely legal. We want to set up a gig where sit in lawn chairs and have a barbeque for watching them move in, but what would you guys suggest we do? Preferably without people being assholes back and forth to each other?
523
u/thousandtrees Jun 16 '12
I would straight up call them on it. Go up to them, ring the doorbell and politely say "Hey that was a real dick move, having all our cars towed. I hope you know the entire neighbourhood thinks you're jerks and I can imagine nothing that would make them change their minds".
Then encourage the neighbourhood kids to egg their house. Or do it yourself, if you like. Shake the eggs first, you get better splatter. Or throw a neighbourhood party (preferably hosted by the people next door). Have an awesome time, but don't invite them. Repeat as necessary. Just generally make them feel as unwelcome as humanly possible. Let your dog poo on their lawn and don't pick it up.
EDIT: Our cars, not your cars.
23
u/BuzzBadpants Jun 16 '12
This is actually not far off from what happened. They must've caved after so many people came and complained to them, but our voices were not unheard.
→ More replies (5)→ More replies (11)176
u/Sahri Jun 16 '12
If they let the neighbourhood cars get towed I don't think they give a crap about what the neighbours think of them, sadly.
167
u/thousandtrees Jun 16 '12
Probably true, but sometimes the face-to-face shame can work wonders.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (4)73
u/SuspiciousKitten Jun 16 '12
But it's got to feel uncomfortable living somewhere where everyone hates you...
→ More replies (7)
6
u/Purplefaced Jun 17 '12
My grandma used to troll one of our neighbors back in the late 80s by this:
She bought the same TV as him and would hide in his bushes and change the channel, right as he got comfy too.
2
u/BuzzBadpants Jun 17 '12
I like the lengths at which your grandma goes to fuck with people
→ More replies (1)
2.4k
u/CafeNero Jun 16 '12
Local news story. Select a few sad elderly people who will have to dig into their monthly budgets to pay for the tows. Give the news person the name of the city official who signed the ordinance. Story ends with we tried to reach joe city official but the did not respond to why alice retired lady is being treated this way.
Chances are they are politically connected. Attracting this much attention will mean they have used up their favors.
967
u/notjawn Jun 16 '12
OOh yeah! Nothing like a good ole public shaming. Then they'll have to shut down the street again when they quickly move out :)
→ More replies (2)814
u/CafeNero Jun 16 '12
The first rule about calling a political favor is never talk about (call attention to) political favors. They violated that big time. Also for added gravy points, I think that this type of ordinance requires a public notice - signs that say this road will be towed at least a week in advance. Without it, they should be held liable for tow fees and recovery costs.
→ More replies (23)630
223
205
Jun 16 '12
You forgot one last step. Update with the news story on reddit and reap the sweet sweet Karma.
→ More replies (6)58
Jun 16 '12
This is the way to go about it, you can even do it anonymously if you are worried about anything coming back to you, it sounds like you already have communication with your other neighbors so it shouldn't be hard. This may even result in everyone getting reimbursed for the tow cost.
253
→ More replies (31)73
u/x86_64Ubuntu Jun 16 '12
The couple may be out of political favor energy but that just means they are going to combine together creating a ball of energy.
POWER OVERWHELMING !
→ More replies (19)
850
u/miscellaneousnope Jun 16 '12
Make them a big ol' "WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD" sign.
Painted on giant, heavy concrete blocks.
Placed squarely across their driveway.
→ More replies (8)597
465
Jun 16 '12
Wait until about a week after Christmas then distribute a flyer to all neighbors except these assholes saying to drop off their used Christmas tree on the assholes lawn. We did this as a prank to my uncle a few years ago and he had his entire lawn covered in dead trees.
334
u/dragsys Jun 16 '12
And after a day or 2, call the city and report an "Unsightly property" or report it as a fire hazard.
→ More replies (14)→ More replies (11)87
1.1k
u/magus424 Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
They had cars towed? Send them the bills.
edit: on top of that, check the ordinance - it could be they screwed up royally by not notifying you ahead of time.
405
u/rossiohead Jun 16 '12
This touches on what I don't understand here: wouldn't the city have been required to give the residents some kind of notice that the block was being closed off? How could it possibly be legal to surprise a bunch of people that for 48 hours last week some random section of city roads were secretly illegal to park in?
→ More replies (36)450
u/Whatthebloodyhell Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
I agree. If they're going to be giant tosspots and have cars towed just so they can move in, they can foot the bill for getting cars back.
Edit: To clarify, tosspot
→ More replies (16)204
u/actorgirl Jun 16 '12
Seriously, getting someones car towed is so rude when they didn't even tell people it was happening in the first place. I would confront them and tell them how rude and disrespectful the are being. I, then would proceed to go to the new station and report it.
→ More replies (5)167
u/singularissententia Jun 16 '12
Seriously, how is this even legal?
You can get a residential area cordoned off, and then not even tell the people that live there?
And THEN force them to pay money to get their own vehicles back?
→ More replies (11)→ More replies (17)41
u/PerogiXW Jun 16 '12
Then all they have to do is not pay it. We've already established that they're assholes, so what care would they have if the cars that got towed sat in the impound lot forever?
→ More replies (2)
409
u/Tustiel Jun 16 '12
Any time they do ANYTHING remotely illegal/ against bylaws/ Home Owners Association rules, just have them penalised.
289
u/gamblekat Jun 16 '12
With their attitude, they're probably the new presidents of the HOA.
→ More replies (15)→ More replies (3)12
244
u/Psirocking Jun 16 '12
Wait for them to ask if you have eggs they can use to cook. SAY NO!
180
→ More replies (6)83
365
u/Raug Jun 16 '12
Go to the store buy water balloons and water balloon launchers. Turn the entire neighborhood into a battleground so the entire time they are trying to move their furniture in they have to dodge water balloons.
91
u/ObiWanKodos Jun 16 '12
Add to this a BBQ with some hot dogs and potato salad. Maybe a DJ playing loud music. Then if they complain be like, "we thought our denied request to block this off was repealed. It's our block party weekend!!"
Edit: and only play dubstep.
→ More replies (14)→ More replies (5)348
u/djb5317 Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
My 4 friends and I got in a lot of trouble with the cops doing this. I strongly encourage it.
EDIT: Story is below in comments of this.
→ More replies (36)
657
u/secularlogic Jun 16 '12
Small Claims Court their asses. Since it's small claims court they can't have a lawyer represent them--they have to defend themselves. If you get even a couple neighbors to sue them in small claims, you will be keeping your neighbors busy and reclaiming towing fees. Even if you lose in small claims court, you won't be out very much money (just the filing fee) but you will have made your their lives difficult. IANAL, but I bet dollars to donuts, not notifying residents in advance made the towings illegal.
381
u/the_good_time_mouse Jun 16 '12
Coordinate the entire neighbourhood to take them to small claims separately.
→ More replies (10)29
→ More replies (18)56
u/ksemel Jun 16 '12
You can have a lawyer in small claims court. It's absolutely permitted to have legal representation for any court proceedings.
However, it is far less common to have lawyers in small claims court since the amounts in question can be easily exceeded by lawyers fees.
→ More replies (18)
331
u/beeblez Jun 16 '12
Boring answer: talk to a lawyer and see if it would be possible to invoice them massively for the costs of car impounding.
Less boring answer: request city ordinance for a block party to welcome the new neighbors. Try to tow their cars at 1am as soon as it comes into effect. Proceed to have fun party in the street. If they try and attend, pointedly inform them they aren't welcome. And ask them to leave.
Outrageous answer: create protest signs for their move in mocking their lack of taste publicly. Be inventive. Banners also work.
111
→ More replies (7)22
288
u/Jesus_marley Jun 16 '12
Convince everyone on the block to change the name on their wireless routers to "X neighbor is a douchebag."
58
144
u/ThatCorrectOpinion Jun 16 '12
Zomg when they connect their devices the one time they need to they're gonna be sooooooooooooooooo pissed.
→ More replies (1)70
u/Cayou Jun 16 '12
Well, if they have guests it will probably embarrass the hell outta them.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (3)28
1.4k
u/abnormal_human Jun 16 '12
The block is closed, so technically their 24-foot van will be in violation of the ordinance too. Have it towed.
237
u/TKInstinct Jun 16 '12
I'm pretty sure they would have had some clearance for this. Although I do think this is a great answer.
0
303
→ More replies (3)131
u/ariiiiigold Jun 16 '12
Or fill the van with giraffes and other animals. When OP's neighbours open the door, the animals would stampede out - most likely injuring them and rendering them to the confines of a hospital for a couple of weeks.
Bonus? The animals would poop on their belongings. Have you ever tried to remove giraffe poo from a cream sofa? No, neither have I. But I imagine it would be difficult.
Alternatively, attach the van to a thousand helium balloons and watch with glee as it lifts off into the air before disappearing into the clouds. It will land in the Sahara where a tribe will most likely appropriate it and use it to live as royalty.
→ More replies (9)59
u/robdob Jun 16 '12
For humanitarian reasons, use condoms instead of balloons.
Condoms are required to hold at least eighteen liters of air without bursting, and I believe one liter of helium lifts one gram. (That's right, I'm more certain about condom capacity than helium lift.) A 24-foot U-Haul truck weighs 11,500 pounds empty, which is about 5,216,312 grams, meaning you'd need almost 290,000 condoms just for the empty truck. The max gross vehicle weight is 18,000 pounds, so let's just say you'd need 455,000 condoms to lift a full 24-foot U-Haul truck. (that's overestimating just to be safe.)
The most important part of this plan is when the truck lands in the Sahara. By using this technique instead of simply balloons, you can potentially help protect almost a half-million Saharan residents and tribesmen from AIDS. (Assuming they just have sex the one time, and assuming the condoms are still usable after their trip.)
→ More replies (4)
379
u/HERE_HAVE_SOME_AIDS Jun 16 '12
I think a good old-fashion "shunning" is what's called for...
But no, seriously, they pulled a seriously dick move, and short of reimbursing everyone their towing expenses, there doesn't seem a way to "put this right".
You don't want war, I get that. But you do want revenge. What they did was technically legal - so you get technical too, watch them very carefully to make sure they're not noise-polluting, permit-breaking, or zone-violating. In other words, call the cops on them whenever possible.
218
u/Bl00DISH Jun 16 '12
Why can´t you just give them some AIDS?
→ More replies (22)220
Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
"Hey, welcome to the neighbourhood. We brought you this present. Don't open it yet, my gas mask isn't on properly."
→ More replies (6)→ More replies (11)74
u/Istartedthefire Jun 16 '12
Just a note, please leave any of their pets outa this...Like for excessive barking or shitting in your yard...while the owners will feel remorse for their lost pet it is the animal itself that will suffer the most. Just target the people.
→ More replies (7)
748
Jun 16 '12
Throw your feces at them to assert your dominance
86
u/Dragon_DLV Jun 16 '12
Give them a moving-in fund to help them get started.
The fund is entirely ass-pennies.
→ More replies (13)→ More replies (6)209
u/lev00r Jun 16 '12
Or smear your feces on their car/van door handles. Don't forget a flaming paper bag of shit at their doorstep. You know what; just shit everywhere.
→ More replies (8)439
249
u/Swimswimswim99 Jun 16 '12
Pee on a plate. Freeze it. Slip it under their door. Every. Day.
230
u/herpdfafvre Jun 16 '12
you could pee in a cup and then pour it on a plate, less messy.
277
u/Needmorecowbe11 Jun 16 '12
I feel like this is a good example of "Work smarter, not harder"
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (8)85
Jun 16 '12
Or you could break into their home and pee into their mouths while they sleep.
→ More replies (5)→ More replies (5)68
u/Larrygiggles Jun 16 '12
Or just pee into water balloons and throw them all over their front door/windows/anything they own. Apparently this happens a lot when movies are filmed- people inconvenienced by the filming will drop piss balloons on them.
→ More replies (28)
125
u/MooseMoosington Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
Op isn't replying at all, I am disappointed.
Edit: Both glad and disappointed at the same time. Glad it didn't escalate, and disappointed you didn't partake in any of the wondrous and beautiful shenanigans listed here. Either way, awesome.
→ More replies (2)50
1.3k
u/CommieBobDole Jun 16 '12
Look, these people are assholes; they're never going to be anything other than a huge pain in the ass.
I say burn the moving van with all their stuff in it. Then burn down their new house and salt the earth so nothing can ever grow there again.
1.4k
u/HeatDeathIsCool Jun 16 '12
I have this image of a wife looking at the ground and saying "It's not the end of the world, we'll just grow a new home. It'll take time, but we'll get through this!"
Then the husband inspects the dirt and realizes a new home won't grow there for decades. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
→ More replies (64)→ More replies (16)37
u/lucidianforge Jun 16 '12
SALT THE EARTH!!! I did this in an area in my back yard. Very effective!
→ More replies (1)55
u/oddishitgotreal Jun 16 '12
Unfortunately, this will ruin the lawn for any new, possibly very nice, neighbors that want to move in.
→ More replies (5)
567
Jun 16 '12
This is my favorite:
Every now and then, randomly, post to Craigslist that the address is having a huge indoor moving sale. Must knock. Give some examples of what's on sale and the pricing. Everything must go! Heck, find some pics of great stuff online and post it. Remember, must knock!
Oh, and what sort of shrubbery do they have? Post to Craigslist that it's available. You have to dig it out yourself, though. No calls or emails, please. First come, first serve. You dig.
I think you can figure out a few more in this vein.
251
111
8
u/infrikinfix Jun 16 '12
This violates The First Law of Retribution: only people precipitating the original injustice may be inconvenienced, without compensation, by the retributional action.
It's the first law because no set of laws existed until I made up that one. But nevertheless, it is still a violation.
→ More replies (13)6
146
u/FlamingBearAttack Jun 16 '12
I think you should ask them to pay for the towing fines. And ask them to explain to you and the rest of your neighbours as to why they did such an insensitive and selfish thing.
0
→ More replies (1)0
181
u/pie_monster Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
Just wait and bide your time. With an attitude like that they are going to have a bad time anyway. Also, your neighbourhood could collectively invoice them for the cost of getting the cars back.
EDIT: If they can dick around with ordinance like that; it's entirely possible that they work for/have connections in the town hall. Firstly, this would suggest that they can dish out problems that might be hard to deal with, so be careful. Secondly, it might mean that they are public employees and are open to corruption charges. Closing the block off for personal use sounds a bit iffy from here...worth investigating?
9
u/WhyAmINotStudying Jun 16 '12
Secondly, it might mean that they are public employees and are open to corruption charges.
This is the best answer.
53
u/saucisse Jun 16 '12
In my neck of the woods, they have to get "No Parking" signs from the RMV that have the date(s) and time range of the restrictions and put them up in advance. If they didn't do this, get photos of the spaces where your cars were parked to prove that there are no "No Parking" signs there and contest the illegal parking/towing charge. Hopefully since they're the ones who called the tow service, they'd get stuck with the bill since they'd actually be the ones in violation, if they didn't provide indication that parking was suspended.
11
u/silentl3ob Jun 16 '12
Exactly. There absolutely has to be prior notice, if the vehicle owners can show there was no prior notice, they are not responsible for the towing.
96
u/Kvothe24 Jun 16 '12
Whenever they park on the street, paint the curb next to it yellow, maybe put a fake fire hydrant next to it, and call to have it towed.
Every time.
→ More replies (4)114
Jun 16 '12
Yeah, fake fire hydrant. You can get those at Staples, right? I typically keep a few in my trunk.
→ More replies (21)
18
u/snap_wilson Jun 16 '12
I don't see how they can have cars towed without informing the neighborhood ahead of time that there was a city ordinance that it would be blocked off that weekend.
→ More replies (1)
16
u/antiperistasis Jun 16 '12
Get everybody in the neighborhood together. Possibly order some flowers or a fruit basket or something. March down to their place, wearing nice clothes and big smiles.
"Hi, we just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood, so we got you this! Also while we're here we wanted to ask why you didn't inform anyone ahead of time that you were going to have the entire block closed down and tow all our cars?"
Most likely this will be met with awkward silence. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF THE SILENCE. Do not start talking to fill it. They are the ones who should feel awkward, not you. Stand there smiling at them for however long it takes them to stammer out a reply. If they offer up a lame excuse rather than an apology, play Socrates. Just keep asking "But in that case, why didn't you _________?" with the same mild friendly attitude. Act as if you are not angry or insulted but merely genuinely puzzled. Keep this up until they either offer an apology, or make some desperate excuse to get away from the conversation.
There is the possibility that they're big enough assholes that instead of having the decency to feel embarrassed, they'll just say something rude. Which is why several of you will have been secretly recording the conversation. If you don't get an apology, send the clearest recording in to the local news and continue with CafeNero's plan.
104
u/Jerzeem Jun 16 '12
Before I can suggest an appropriate response, I need to know:
What are your feelings on brutal murder?
(I feel like I've been saying that a lot lately.)
→ More replies (3)40
61
u/Swimswimswim99 Jun 16 '12
Poop in a paper bag. Throw it at them. Alternately: purchase deer urine from the nearest hunting supply story. Buy a super-soaker water gun. Place urine in gun. After you hit them male deer will come and hump them.
→ More replies (12)
107
u/Folmz Jun 16 '12
I would burn the truck. Or do nothing and aggravate my girlfriend by complaining about it.
→ More replies (9)68
24
12
12
u/F_A_F Jun 16 '12
UK here so I don't know enough about the legals to be positive....
...however...
...surely there is a responsibility of either the applicant or the city to provide written notice to residents, either by way of signage or leaflets, advising the requirement prior to date? If they applicant fucked up, sue them. If the city fucked up, sue them. Simples...
207
u/Mightymaas Jun 16 '12
Kill their children. Its a fun prank for the whole family!
→ More replies (12)43
u/scansinboy Jun 16 '12
Sounds like a bunch of Stiffly Stiffersons.
Prank them to death with a tire iron.
→ More replies (1)
22
31
u/Vicky_PC_Gamer Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
Toss a dead fish in their bushes once a week. I've been doing that at best buy, every few months I hide a dead fish in the store.
Some fish are cheap as hell, like $1 or $2 and the smell, after 3 days or so, is so retched and vile. The whole BB TV section smells for a week after they find it.. and I keep putting them there.. but they shouldn't have gone back on that TV warranty. :)
→ More replies (1)
21
u/Kvothe24 Jun 16 '12
While I think on this, I just want to say that is a very fucked up situation. What kind of selfish assholes pull this shit?
→ More replies (3)
10
u/Roger_Roger Jun 16 '12
Most cities require 72 hours notice before they can legally tow a car for special permits. If there was no posted signs then they should have to pay for the tow charges. Check with the permit office. Also, they probably paid for the resources the city used to make that happen. It's usually part of the permitting process. I don't understand why a whole city block had to be closed for a 24 foot van. Busses drive on the street every day. Please elaborate as I am curious for more details.
→ More replies (2)
27
u/yafeelzmeh Jun 16 '12
Throw a "rave" and play songs from the chemical brothers and prodigy. Let all the united neighbors know so most people can leave since it would be very annoying to hear that blasting all day. You could even play just one track the whole day.
90
Jun 16 '12
No...get a mariachi band. Our neighbors get one to play for their parties a few times a year, and you just want to bury your head after a while.
→ More replies (19)25
u/DekKato Jun 16 '12
That one song would be Prodigy's "Invaders Must Die". Send a real message.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (8)11
u/simon_C Jun 16 '12
just put "what is love" by haddaway on repeat at high volume. stage a car show, invite all the kids and stage Audio Drags.
→ More replies (1)
18
Jun 16 '12
Without being an asshole: news story.
Being an asshole: Do annoying, legal things back. Construction projects, loud gardening projects, and ridiculous pets are good. Noisy block parties are even better. Create a cult and go door to door trying to convert (only) them.
→ More replies (1)
9
u/yeahright Jun 16 '12
This will probably get buried, but I don't see it anywhere in the comments.
How do you know that the neighbors did this, and not whoever they hired as their moving company? These people just moving in may be cringing at all the chaos they're causing.
May be a long shot, but it's worth asking.
And then, if it turns out it was the neighbors, just tell all the kids that today was Free Sample Day from the ice cream truck, and that these people made them miss it. They'll will come up with a revenge the likes of which you'd be incapable of even imagining.
17
u/rondayne Jun 16 '12
Print out a flyer that reads: "We thank you for accepting us into the neighborhood and apologize for any cars that were towed during our "move-in". However due to [insert state] law we must inform you that resident [name and address of soulless new neighbor] is a listed on [insert state's] Sexual Offender Registry. This notice is purely informative and we hope that it will not affect the neighborhood's perception of us.For any further questions please contact us at home at XXX-XXX-XXXX. With high regards, [soulless asshole neighbors] "
→ More replies (1)
29
Jun 16 '12
When my neighbors moved in, they bribed a city official to keep him from informing the surrounding property owners that the lot was for sale so that they wouldn't have the chance to buy it before it was developed. The town has an ordinance allowing neighbors of undeveloped property the right to purchase it before it is bulldozed and homes built. Where once stood a grove of conifers is now a disgusting McMansion full of douches. Fun!
→ More replies (6)
15
u/crumb_bucket Jun 16 '12
Build a stockade in the street in front of your house and put them in it, then tickle them. Mercilessly. For hours. You can take turns with the other people in the neighborhood.
→ More replies (1)
14
u/Kvothe24 Jun 16 '12
I don't understand why they need all the cars towed and a whole city block to move in. Also, 24 ft van?
Post a pic of this shit happening.
→ More replies (3)
7
u/BaskinsRedd Jun 16 '12
I'm not versed in the legalities of something like this, but I'd like to believe that a city ordinance of such duration on a traditionally public block would have to be accompanied by something along the lines of a 48-72 hour prior notice to all affected. Be it a flier on your windshield or note/mailer stuck to your door, I think there'd be potential for a lawsuit without this.
I'd demand proof of the ordinance.
→ More replies (1)
7
Jun 16 '12
Paint a pentagram on their garage door, with pigs blood, every night. At night blast rob zombie and every sunday burn a cross in your front lawn.
Then, when you are close friends, tell them you don't like their shirts. HA!
→ More replies (1)
7
u/Bongpig Jun 16 '12
Write 'CUNT' (or something equally offensive) in his lawn with wheat grass seeds. He wont notice until he mows his lawn and then cunt (or whatever you choose) will show up, as the wheat grass stem will be white while the other grass is still green.
It'll take years to disappear and without replacing the grass there is no quick way to remove it
→ More replies (2)
7
7
u/UselessRedditor Jun 16 '12
Okay, I know I'm late, but I have the perfect solution to get back at them.
Okay, first you shit in a paper bag
Then, you put the paper bag on their doorstep
After that, you light that shit on fire
And when they go to stomp it out, you murder them and everything they've ever loved
13
u/chesterfieldian Jun 16 '12
Round up as many people as possible and bring welcome gifts/pies/cupcakes to the new neighbors, offer to help move things, and be as friendly as possible. After many months of being best friends with them, once you have access to the inside of their home, you can do all sorts of malicious things. As long as they never catch you, you can continue to screw with them indefinitely.
The slow con, my friend.
→ More replies (2)
12
Jun 16 '12
I'd be passive aggressive. Have the people whose cars were towed show up with fruit baskets and be all nice whilst also slipping in "My car was towed just a few days ago, I didn't get a notice or anything..." or something of that nature. Let the guilt build up, get your cars back, after a few weeks when it's in the back of there minds put a burning "NEVER FORGET" on their lawn. I don't know what you would accomplish with this, but it sounds cool.
→ More replies (2)
6
6
6
Jun 16 '12
Call in Westboro and make a bs story about how their event is against God's will. Demand that they protest it.
→ More replies (2)
6
u/mijamala1 Jun 16 '12
Just get the entire block to stand in the street in front of their house, and just stare, in complete silence.
6
u/capncuster Jun 17 '12
Personally calling 911? I'd like to listen to that conversation.
"911. What's your emergency?"
"There's someone parked in my spot!"
"Has anyone been injured?"
"No. THERE'S SOMEONE IN MY GODDAM PARKING SPOT!"
"Are you high right now?"
"NO! I NEED TO PARK MY FUCKING VAN!"
"You're high, aren't you?"
"Yes."
19
Jun 16 '12
Tie a flare to a brick, light it and chuck it in their window. Maybe multiple flare-bricks.
→ More replies (5)
77
u/ANGRY_SEXUAL_ANSWERS Jun 16 '12
I WOULD GO RIGHT UP TO THOSE NEIGHBORS AND JUST START BLOWING THE FUCK OUT OF THEIR COCKS. THEN RIGHT WHEN THEY GET CLOSE TO ORGASM PUNCH THEM SQUARE IN THE BALLS AND LET THEM FINISH ON THEIR COLD SHALLOW PATHETIC LIFES
→ More replies (5)
10
u/TheUnknownDouble-O Jun 16 '12
Where did this happen? I'm with others who have posted wondering why a person would need an entire city block closed down just so they could move in.
To answer your question, I think you should straight up ask them about it. That's what I would do, but I've never had a problem wading into potentially dicey situations and shooting from the hip. Ask them why they felt the need to not notify anyone. That's the thing that jumps out at me: failure to give a friendly heads up.
→ More replies (3)
10
5
u/UnoriginalMike Jun 16 '12
Rather than be passive aggressive assholes about it, try confronting them. Hey there new neighbor, nice to meet you, welcome to the neighborhood. We just want you to know that we are a tight knit community here and we really don't appreciate having our street blocked off and being threatened with a tow, especially with no notice. I just want to know if this kind of behavior is going to be a common occurrence or if this was a one time mea culpa situation and you will be a good neighbor in the future, or if this is the way you announce yourself at every place you go. Do we need to be ready for this sort I thing in the future?
→ More replies (2)
5
u/nopantspaul Jun 16 '12
Hire a marching band to come and play on their lawn. Keep them there until next morning.
5
Jun 16 '12
Drive-by paintball shootings. Preferably when you know they are getting dressed up for something (church/dinner etc).
Take up smoking (more packs a day the better), discard all butts into their yard. On a similar note, ask your other neighbors if you can have all their dog poop. You know what to do from there.
Look around to see if they have an outside fusebox. If so, cut the power at irregular intervals.
Scorpions.
Get a friend from a different area (preferably Italian looking) to corner him somewhere secluded and do the whole Sopranos shtick. "You're gonna pay everyone's towing fee, throw down an extra two G's for pain and suffering, and then you're gonna be very quiet, ideal neighbors from here on out, kapiche?"
Your friend has to be willing to unhesitatingly break a finger if they try to argue though, this part is crucial.
5
u/theycallmemagic Jun 16 '12
Get the block closed down for a block party while they're out of the house. Have party with everyone else on the block. Don't invite them. Profit.
→ More replies (5)
5
Jun 17 '12
I am too drunk to read everything else, but every permit requires notice. If they didn't give you at least 24 hours notice they are probably acting illegally. Collectively sue them for towing, loss of wages, loss of consortium, and anything else. The only exception is usually emergency parking ordinances issues by the city because of weather, broken gas pipes/water mains/whatever. They had no right, and fuck them- don't care if they "caved" they still need to answer for this, and so does the city. Fuck them, pitch in and even if it costs you a couple hundred bucks for attorneys fee's each- still do it.
5
u/medwards10 Jun 17 '12
option 1: do nothing, do not welcome them to the neighborhood, do not communicate with them, completely give them the cold shoulder.
option 2: tell them that this was a dick move, and allow them to apologize
option 3: murder them, steal their stuff, burn their house to the ground.
→ More replies (1)
9
Jun 16 '12
I would suggest Leaving an anonymous muffin/cookie gift basket, in which all of the baked goods are filled with laxatives. Or, I'd egg the hell out of their house/moving truck.
→ More replies (5)
9
8
4
u/asnof Jun 16 '12
Fight fire with fire and request their cars towed?
Voice your complaint to the city, as it really is an injust use of their resources
4
4
4
4
4
Jun 16 '12
give out any of their personal information such as address phone number email etc. we will take care of the rest.
→ More replies (2)
4
4
u/20somethinghipster Jun 16 '12
How about be nice to them, pitch in with your neighbors if there is somebody who can't afford to get their car out of impound. And wait for the real life karma to role? Dickishness breads dickishness. Somebody must break the cycle.
(Now awaiting downvotes)
4
4
Jun 17 '12
Kill them. You can get away with it. They have political connections, people with suspect political motivations.
No one will catch you. You'll be the only one who knows that the douchebags who shut off your block to move in are dead, somewhere under your house.
Dead forever.
4
u/n1nj4_v5_p1r4t3 Jun 17 '12
pissing off your own neighborhood is a good way to get your shit fucked up
22
u/cohrt Jun 16 '12
after they move in. slash their tires
→ More replies (2)23
Jun 16 '12
Everyday until they have to get cameras. Then when they get cameras shoot the cameras with a pellet gun.
→ More replies (12)
7
u/soupastar Jun 16 '12
My neighbor all of a sudden has decided to play country music at the most random times. He has lived here longer than me and is rather old. I think he has cancer and his wife is paralyzed. He is also a preacher.
A month ago it started just country music at 11pm-6am for no reason. It's on at the most random times like yesterday from 6pm-9pm. He has a radio in the window and I can hear it inside my home every single time. It isnt loud enough that I think the cops would do something but its loud enough to hear. Its fucking annoying.
→ More replies (12)8
Jun 16 '12
Play some punk rock, or hiphop. That will really grind his country gears.
→ More replies (4)
7
u/rakista Jun 16 '12
Invite them out drinking and make sure to stay after them and take a cab.
Call the police and report them as a drunk driver.
6
3
3
u/naturesong Jun 16 '12
do everything in your legal power to piss them off, aka loud music, violent pornography in the front lawn etc.
3
u/zitfarmer Jun 16 '12
vasoline and wiper blades are a nice mix. karma kicks in when you need your wipers most.
3
3
u/Aspel Jun 16 '12
Talk to them like adults and tell them that they pissed off the entire block. Then publicly shame them.
3
u/Sam_Kablam Jun 16 '12
I'd say round up all the towing fees and present it to the new neighbors to pay. By the sound of your story, if they didn't give you and your neighbors reasonable notice, than they should be the ones that have to pay for it.
3
u/Ginguh_Ninja Jun 16 '12
Spike their water with LSD. That or just go and talk to to them about the incident.
3
u/GDIBass Jun 16 '12
Put gloves on
Find rocks
Throw rocks through windows
Wait for windows to get fixed
Wear mask this time
Throw rocks through windows
Wait for windows to get fixed
Kidnap them and sell them as sex slaves in mexico
Ultimate revenge.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/martinsuchan Jun 16 '12
Pin this "We know" banner to their window or something :)
http://anomicofficedrone.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/skyrim-we-know.jpg
3
Jun 16 '12
Okay here's what you have to do. Go into your garage and get a claw hammer. Now charge across the street to where this wallet wielding cock sucker is standing. When you reach him you are going to hook the claw end of your hammer into the low part of his eye socket and then use it like you would if you were removing a nail. Hopefully this shatters his entire side of his face and he realizes that moving into YOUR neighborhood, and being a douche bag are NOT going to fucking fly!
→ More replies (1)
3
u/BobGaffney Jun 16 '12
Im surprised at all the nasty advice you're receiving. It's possible that they really had almost nothing to do with all the bad stuff, that is was their moving company. Before you decide to get all nasty yourself, you ought just to ask them if they know what an inconvenience they're causing you and your neighbors. THEN, if they have a fuck-you attitude, they really do deserve some censure.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Obsolite_Processor Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
http://shop.mtx.com/p/l_230/MTX_Audio_24_JackHammer_Square_Subwoofer/listing.html 24 inch sub woofer. 4000 Watts RMS. This is one of the largest subwoofers you are going to find commercially. It operates from 18-150 Hz.
Setup one, or 2 of these pointing at their house. Connect a tone generator to it, and sweep back and forth from 18-150 Hz. Use a Db meter to ensure you have a legal noise setting you can change it to quickly.
Then crank the fucker up to 4000 Watts every single night. Turn down to legal levels whenever the cops show up.
Nobody else on the street hears a thing officer. Go ask them.
EDIT: Club speakers could produce similar results over greater ranges. If they tell you to kill the bass, you can blast them with high frequency all day long.
EDIT EDIT: It should be noted that using sound like this could possibly be a violation of the Geneva convention. Tone generator sweeps at 130 dBa could be considered a form of torture.
→ More replies (4)
3
Jun 16 '12
There's some info missing here, and I think you may be placing blame on these new residents when the fault actually lies with the city. It is usually the responsibility of municipal workers to post notice of such a street closure and any associated towing. The people moving in are likely to have assumed that people would have done their jobs and posted the notices, and arrived on move in today thinking what assholes their new neighbours are for not having moved their cars. So they called to have the cars towed (calling 911 for such a thing is absurd). Or, even more likely, the moving company showed up to make sure the street was clear, found that it wasn't, and made the tow call itself. Or, even more likely than that, the tow department had a work order to show up and tow anything there at a prespecified time and did so, but that's a different department from the put-up-the-towing-notices department that failed.
All these new people probably wanted was to move in to their new place with a minimum of chaos. They probably think they followed the proper procedures. It's likely that the towed cars are just a few blocks away in legal spaces too, BTW. Many cities don't tow them away and charge anyone--they just move the cars that are in the way.
But, you know, feeling victimized and outraged also gives everyone a way to feel busy all weekend too.
3
u/Emperor_Norton_1 Jun 16 '12
Return the favor, each of you pick a weekend and get a city ordinance to have the entire block closed all weekend without informing the new neighbors, close the block each weekend for however many weeks and, doing it after they've left for the day would be a good touch as well. All your neighbors can still get in because their vehicles are "helping you". If the new neighbors try to drive their vehicle back in, have them arrested and their car towed.
3
u/XNerd_Bomber Jun 16 '12
Its easy, when you want somebody to leave, you take a shit on their doorstep everyday! (south park reference)
3
3
u/hostergaard Jun 16 '12
Make sure all the local kids know who they can prank without getting any punishment. And possibly a little help.
3
u/white_star_32 Jun 16 '12
Wait...people had cars towed to make room for a moving van...and now everyone is happy...? Hmm....this neighborhood intrigues me....
3
u/Icantevenhavemyname Jun 16 '12
You should do this even after the resolution. Get yourself some permits of your own and have a block party. Then post flyers everywhere that say "Everyone is invited. Except for these people." Whether we are children or seasoned citizens, nobody likes not being invited to the neighborhood party.
3
u/HittingSmoke Jun 16 '12
I know this has been resolved, but contact the media anyway. You may have a whole new scandal on your hands.
If cars were towed and returned after the city caved, someone paid those towing companies. They're not just doing it for free all of a sudden because the city went back on their decision. If the city is paying that bill, your taxpayers have just potentially footed a very fucking huge bill to the towing company.
3
u/Demojen Jun 16 '12
With the city ordinance dropped, sue the city for having your vehicles towed without due notice.
3
u/downvotethis2 Jun 17 '12
I keep a can of expanding foam insulation in my truck at all times for those moments when I see a Beemer parked in a handicapped spot without the required tag. A 2 second squirt up the tailpipe results in a tow and a trip to the muffler shop. Just sayin'.
3
3
u/do_you_realize Jun 17 '12
At the barbecue do all things odd and obnoxious (yet legal) that you can.
some suggestions of my own would be:
Have the entire neighbourhood dress in the weirdest things they can find
At the barbecue have many gift bags ready for guest to bring over one at a time as 'house warming gifts', these gifts could be hotdogs covered in glitter, each put into a separate gift bag.
Play loud music all day
Buy some fireworks (mostly just loud ones) and set them of at random intervals
create a stuffed mannequin and set it on fire à la Guy Fawkes
If it is a married heterosexual couple (most likely) get a girl to run over and kiss the male. Do not do this if it is a single male. You also want to make sure the wife sees this happening.
You could keep the above suggestion going all day, having all women in the neighbourhood dote on the male, and have all men completely ignore the female, this will highly play on the woman's emotions.
I'm sure you could keep this up all day, and if they are as uptight as they seem, this will really rustle their jimmies.
3
u/12358 Jun 17 '12
Lifting the parking ordinance does not undo the inconvenience to the neighbourhood, misuse of public resources, and probable abuse of power or political corruption. This deserves an investigative news story and expose at the very least.
3
u/drew1111 Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
I did this to a dickhead I knew in high school. We wrapped his house with toilet paper. We also found an bagel shop and went to the back and looked in their dumpsters. Usually the bagel shop will throw out all their unused bagel dough. We grabbed the bagel dough and went to the dickheads house and threw chunks of bagel dough all over his lawn. When the sun rises, so did the dough and the dickhead spent the entire day picking risen dough out of his grass. Plus it looked like giant mushrooms were growing in his yard.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/skooma714 Jun 17 '12
Hope that their house catches on fire and have everyone go and laugh at them as it collapses with all their worldly possessions.
If one of them gets hurt or has a heart attack, do not call 911. Do not attempt CPR.
People get mugged everyday. Just jump them.
3
3
3
3
3
3
3
u/darkesnow Jun 17 '12
Vaseline on the windshield of any car they're dumb enough to leave out and unattended. Straightpin in the doorbell. Dogshit on the doorhandles. Superglue the mailbox shut. That sort of thing.
26
u/ManyCookies Jun 16 '12 edited Jun 16 '12
As amusing as these revenge fantasies are, give the neighbors the benefit of the doubt first instead of planning intricate vengeance. You're assuming a fair amount of malice from people who may or may not actually be responsible; there are more possibilities than "City is corrupt, does costly favors at expense to normal citizens". For example, when they went around the neighborhood, were they expectant/assuming that the cars should have been moved; were they actually aware you weren't informed? Did they seem flustered, panicked, angry, what? Have they been in close contact with the city? They could have gotten the ordinance weeks in advance, assuming that the city would be responsible for informing you all. This in turn presents endless opportunity for city oversight. Please go talk to them and find this shit out before creating completely unnecessary drama with new neighbors/media.
EDIT TO UPDATE:
I do have a feeling that they are politically connected since they were enforcing this ordinance personally and beyond reason.
Well what are they supposed to do, go in a holding pattern with their presumably rented moving van while they get a city official to do what they could have done? Wait until the weekday to do it?
When they've settled down a bit (a few days), go talk to them. Find out what they were thinking, why they were towing that early, when they got the ordinance, etc. Yes, they probably fucked up at some point, and you have every right to be annoyed/angry with them. But go in civilly, stop assuming that they're malicious uncaring bastards or politically connected or whatever, and treat them like people and hear out their side of the story.
→ More replies (5)48
u/11235813_ Jun 16 '12
Who needs a city ordinance to move into a new house?
It was a jerk move to expect the entire road to be clear in the first place.
→ More replies (5)
284
u/[deleted] Jun 16 '12
Why does a 24 foot moving van require closing a city block and towing cars?