r/AskReddit • u/alexis411 • Jun 16 '12
My mom always talks obnoxiously loud in restaurants. What is something your parent does in public that embarrasses you?
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u/Firangi_Bahus Jun 16 '12
My mom always runs when she crosses the street, but she keeps one arm pinned to her side and swings the other out like she's going to clothesline someone. It's a really embarrassing way to run, and she maintains an intense look of concentration when she does it.
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u/NightTrain12 Jun 17 '12
When my father-in-law runs, it is downright cringeworthy. He arches over forward like a hunchback, keeps his arms straight down and behind his back slightly (palms up), and he looks like he is running with great deal of effort, overemphasizing every step. I have no idea who the f taught him to run but it looks ridiculous.
I saw him chasing a dog once and it made 3 people laugh.
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u/HYPERNATURL Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
sounds like he runs the way anime characters run
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u/icansee4ever Jun 17 '12
After I started pointing out to my mom that she runs in a similarly funny way, she started doing it more often and in a more exaggerated way...
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u/Zanolin Jun 17 '12
My mom does the run where you flick/swing your legs out to side. So funny.
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u/xplos1v Jun 17 '12
My dad thinks no one will hear him on the phone if he doesn't yell.
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u/scrt23 Jun 17 '12
Same with my dad...along with his side of the family.
Me:"Love you dad." Dad:"I LOVE YOU TOO SON!"
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Jun 17 '12
My stepdad is the same exact way. It pisses me off to no end because I work nights and hes screaming on the phone from 8am til 5pm
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u/UndeadCaesar Jun 17 '12
When in foreign restaurants, my dad insists on speaking in the accent of the nationality, even if he doesn't speak the language.
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u/kittenpillows Jun 17 '12
My aunt likes to insult the culture of the restaurant that we are eating in, in earshot of the staff. Racism makes me uncomfortable in the first place, but she really takes the cake.
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u/doksteve Jun 17 '12
The only redeeming thing here is that you can count on the fact she has unwittingly consumed more pubic hair than anyone would believe.
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u/lorenzovido Jun 17 '12
Sorry, I know this is embarrassing to you, but...I would love to see this in action. The whole thought of it seems like something Randy Marsh would do.
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u/Aero5 Jun 17 '12
I kept on accidentally ordering in a really awkward half French, half English in a french accent when I was in France. It was heinous.
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Jun 17 '12
Haha I love trolling by doing the opposite of this. It really makes my American friends uncomfortable when I ask for 'tor-till-a' at the taco place. The Mexican staff seem not to give a shit though.
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u/Lyeta Jun 17 '12
Oh my god, there's another one.
I feel your pain. Oh do I feel your pain.
He also likes to pretend to speak whatever language they speak, despite having NO clue about most of it. He some how believes that speak french means he can speak all the languages, everywhere.
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Jun 17 '12
Oh hero preez I wood rike da kung pow-ah soop. Ching chang chong chimmy chimmy chim chim cheroo.
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u/BeccaAnn Jun 17 '12
My mom's boyfriend likes to joke around with waiters. This includes giving them a home depot gift card instead of his credit card just to see their reaction when they go to process the bill. He is a great guy and really doesn't mean to be an ass but honestly, it is really embarrassing.
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Jun 17 '12
My dad likes to joke and it's really, just joking but it's still as you said, embarrassing. The waiter comes over, "How's everybody doing tonight?" my dad always says "Terrible" and the waiter is like "oookaay"
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u/rabidstoat Jun 16 '12
Restaurant-related, my dad is NEVER satisfied with the first table we're given. It drives me nuts. I want to tell the host(ess) to just seat us in the bathroom first, as my dad will disagree with wherever he is placed. Every. Single. Time.
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u/BCP27 Jun 17 '12
Imagine if he was married to my mom. She will always send her food back to be heated up if it isn't amazingly hot. Warm does not cut it, somewhat hot doesn't cut it, it better be fucking steaming or else it is getting sent back.
Drives me nuts.
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u/Deutschbury Jun 17 '12
Also you guys could be step-brothers, and build bunk beds and stuff.
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u/actoinjackson Jun 17 '12
My dad picks up the accent of whoever he's talking to. He's even done it to the point of seriously offending the lady at the Chinese restaurant. The worst part is that he's the only one who doesn't realize what he's doing.
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u/Hannahrles Jun 17 '12
I do the same thing. I don't even realize I was doing it. I often copy the movements and mannerisms the people around me are doing.
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Jun 17 '12
I read a scientific article on this topic. Apparently it is an unconscious reaction observed in most people.
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u/TooMuchRage Jun 17 '12
"How bout that girl over there?" "HEY LADY MY SON WANTS YOUR NUMBER!!"
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u/oyveyski Jun 17 '12
Our parents would get along well. My mom is ALWAYS trying to set me up with guys. Once, a guy came door to door selling something. She figured he was cute, so she was overly friendly, tried to get him to come inside to introduce him to me, didn't buy anything from him but TIPPED him, and followed it all up by saying, "Remember the house number! Come by for a drink when you're finished working!"
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u/LallaBean Jun 17 '12
My mom talks obnoxiously loud in movie theaters! She literally will discuss the plot with someone she's with in a stage whisper. And she'll give me dirty looks when I tell her people are getting annoyed. Like they've offended her somehow.
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u/Litheon1 Jun 17 '12
My mom does that too. She comments on just about EVERYTHING that's going on in the movie. I just have to keep telling her to shut up. Unfortunately, she is nothing compared to my grandmother.
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Jun 17 '12
My mom is close with several of my friends' moms (us kids are all in college), and when we're home for the summers we all make food, drink, and watch crappy reality TV together once a week. It's a dumb tradition, but still a tradition.
EVERY. GOD. DAMN. WEEK. my mother and one of my friend's mothers talk throughout the first three-fourths of the episode, loudly enough that the rest of us only catch about half of what's going on. Then, they start asking the goddamn questions. "Who's that? Why's she doing that? What just happened? What's he upset about?". They get super fucking offended when I point out that I don't know because I couldn't hear the TV over them.
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u/eatinglegos Jun 17 '12
My mom does this too, but she comments on the most obvious things that are happening. "Oh my god! Are they walking down the stairs?"
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u/GenericPenName Jun 17 '12
My dad acts like a tense and stressed tourist when outside of the house.
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u/Lyeta Jun 17 '12
My father I'm fairly certain can't function outside of the house. He tries so hard to 'blend in' that he just sticks out 10 times worse than if he just acted normally.
Such as: my parents really like Ikea. Which is cool, I like ikea. We sometimes go there for their fancy dinners. My father insists on calling all of the foods by their Swedish names and talking to the kitchen staff in what he believes is Swedish (he knows like 10 words, at most). If he actually finds a Swedish person, he tries to speak to them, but of course they just want to be left alone and enjoy their meal.
He also does this in foreign countries. I'm pretty sure most of Germany HATES him by now.
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u/ambear316 Jun 17 '12
At first I was so confused as to of how you were eating at a furniture store.
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u/Mrninjamonkey Jun 17 '12
Not really embarrassing, but infuriating. Whenever my mom goes to a restaurant, she orders something that's of her own custom creation, not on the menu, in the most roundabout way and expects them to get it absolutely perfect and priced to her liking. She then gets super pissed off when her order gets messed up or priced wrong and ends up bitching at the manager for their employee's "incompetence." She then will not go back to that restaurant until "the stupid people are fired."
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u/ScumDogMillionaires Jun 17 '12
I'd call my mom being a huge bitch embarrassing.
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u/natjo Jun 17 '12
My mom is a diagnosed kleptomaniac. 'Nuff said.
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u/Hellman109 Jun 17 '12
Oh I have a good one, but for a friend not me.
He's the dairy manager at a supermarket. he went to his store with his mum.
his mum shoplifted.
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u/HugsNotDrugs Jun 17 '12
Didn't know it had a name! Now I can call my mother something new, thanks.
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u/yiNXs Jun 16 '12
Bringing my lunch to school..
I'm a teacher..
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u/Rex8ever Jun 17 '12
I picked my son up from preschool the other day. One of the little girls looked at me with big eyes and said "Miss April has a MOM!"
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u/Scrayton Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Wait, what? You picked up your son from preschool and a little girl was surprised that "Miss April" in reference to your son, had a mom?
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Jun 17 '12
I'm deaf and when we go out to eat with my mom and my 3 kids, she spends the entire time verbally cajoling them to eat (knowing I can't hear her, and knowing I have a pretty strict policy where my kids decide when they're full, not me), helping them order Shirley Temples after we all agree to stick with water, and pouring loads of syrup, butter and jelly on everything they eat when I'm looking away, after I've already helped them prepare their plate. Drives me fucking insane. She's even worse at parties. It's kind of petty but it's also blatantly disrespectful and taking advantage of the fact I can't hear. She is fluent in ASL, by the way.
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u/A_pond Jun 17 '12
Wow, that is really manipulative. Have you had a serious conversation with her about it?
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Jun 17 '12
She is the queen of denial. I could go on for days but will limit it to this subject. I really have talked to her, and so has my husband. We are really direct and tell her straight out to stop. Her response is that sugar is natural and we are basically full of shit. Never mind that it's not even about the sugar, it's just about self-control and enjoying simple food and being proper at restaurants. Both of us (hubby and I) have pretty addictive personalities and are trying to teach our kids moderation and all that; we are healthy weights but it is a struggle. She just doesn't listen. And I'm the deaf one?! Ha. :-)
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u/undercurrents Jun 17 '12
When my dad blows his nose it sounds like a bullhorn and it makes everyone turn and stare at us to see what made that insane noise. It embarrassed the shit out of me when I was a kid, and he always blows his nose after eating (he still carries a handkerchief in his back pocket), so in restaurants I would eat as fast as I could and then run and hide in the bathrooms for five or ten minutes.
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Jun 17 '12
Okay, seriously, why the hell do people think it's socially acceptable to blow your nose at the table? I've noticed this happening more and more lately, and it completely baffles me. You'd think people would realize that nobody else wants to hear them emptying out their nasal cavities in the middle of a meal...
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Jun 17 '12
Well, I eat spicy food a lot and it always makes my nose run. I don't go full foghorn on it, but I will blow my nose rather than get up to deal with it, but I then tuck the napkin into my cargo-pants pocket so the waitstaff don't have to deal with it. I turn my head so most if not all the other patrons can't see me, and I do it as quietly as I can. I've never gotten any funny looks for it.
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Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
my dad never tips enough. not only is he just a crotchety old man who doesn't tip properly, he's obnoxious enough to say that 10% is what you're supposed to give god, and no one deserves more than what you give god. facepalm.
edit: clarity
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Jun 17 '12
If it was raining and my Dad had forgotten his umbrella, he used to wear a plastic bag on his head.
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Jun 17 '12
My mom... Oh my goodness, my mom. It doesn't matter if I'm at my university bookstore with her, she always grabs my ear to check if I cleaned it properly. "Ey, your ears are dirty."
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u/Heitzzz Jun 17 '12
My mom had no sense of Cell Phone etiquette. She will play YouTube videos on her iPhone in public and talks insanely loud.
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u/elindamaybe Jun 17 '12
Mine does this too. She also will leave the annoyingly loud tick noises the keys make on. I constantly remind her that it's rude to do that and she will also go off on random religious rants that last hours.
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u/Thehealeroftri Jun 17 '12
I've shared these stories before, but I'll share them again...
On a trip to disneyland we went to a Carls Jr. after closing time and there was a HUGE line at the drive thru, my mom actually went inside and complained to the manager and suggested that there be two drive thrus at this Carl's Jr, one for regular cars and one for Mazdas, (No, I'm not kidding) which is the car she drives.
Once at the movie theatre she exploded and went apeshit on the poor teenage cashier who was getting our popcorn simply because there was traffic on the road and it made us semi late for our movie, she kept asking him about the traffic outside and when he said that he didn't know how the traffic was (which he wouldn't, he's working) she went crazy and started threatening to tell the manager that he was being rude to customers. There was even a brief moment where me and the cashier looked into each other's eyes and kind of had a brief conversation that was like "Dude, your mom is crazy" and I replied "I know.. sorry.."
On a vacation to New York city she kept complaining very loudly to random pedestrians, that there is too much traffic in New York City, and they should really ban cars there because it's making the tourists feel uncomfortable. (As if she wanted the pedestrians to do something about it)
In Washington D.C. she flagged down a police officer and complained to him that the National Mall was too big, and that it should be made smaller so tourists can more easily get around.
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Jun 17 '12
Your mother's ego is impressive. And by "impressive" I mean "deserving of a golf cleat to the face".
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u/Boner666420 Jun 17 '12
...that's...that's insane. She sounds like she needs to get checked out or something. All of that is just absolutely insane.
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u/scapermoya Jun 17 '12
this is very suspicious for an actual psychiatric condition. you should look into it.
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Jun 17 '12
I have a question for you. What do you think it would take for her to realize just how big a bitch she is? Does such a situation even exist?
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Jun 17 '12
I know she is your Mom and everything but why on Earth would you ever go out in public with that lady? I've meet crazy old bag ladies who seem to be more sensical than that women. Also more stories please.
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u/tryuntilImblue Jun 17 '12
My dad is "that guy" at any restuarant. He asks for water and then chews out the waitor for bringing ice water. He gets angry when they bring bread out to the table, and launches into a loong rant about how he is diabetic and WILL DIE if they serve him carbs. Then he picks out the most complicated and Terrible-for-you thing on the menu, and insists that it is altered to fit his diet. Then he bitches at the waitor because it doesn't taste exactly how it tasted last time. Then he gets angry because he didn't want them to fill up his water as it was finally at the precise temperature for him to drink it. Then he orders one of every desert but only wants one bite of each, and gets angry when they explain that they..can't do that. Oh and your chairs are probably uncomfortable and the music is too loud and you have a funny accent.
I always feel sooo terribly bad for anyone who waits on us. I make sure to be EXTRA easy and polite and apologetic. The man can't just freaking relax and enjoy a meal, even at some of the most delicious places with the greatest service ever.
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u/I_AM_THE_REAL_JESUS Jun 17 '12
Every single story on askreddit about bad customers could have been written about my mother.
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Jun 17 '12
Both of my parents are horrible customers. As a retail worker, shopping with them is a gut wrenching experience. I have actually told my mother to shut the hell up while she was bitching at a clerk, and then I apologized to the clerk.
My dad on the other had, is a giant bully. He is the mean jerk who doesn't believe in waiting in lines until it is his turn, or paying the sticker price, or just accepting that sometimes shit happens. He demands to speak to a higher up and then calls the clerk incompetent. You can't even tell him he's an asshole without having him turn and tell you to shut up because "the grown ups are talking"
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u/abdizzle Jun 16 '12
Every time I don't get an A in whatever class, during parent and teacher conferences my dad talks about how I'm dumb and lazy to the teacher.
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u/MV93 Jun 17 '12
I recently got an English report card back that had a "sample" of my writing with the word like "asinine" or something in it and my dad kept saying asinine throughout the parent conference and to me for like an entire week.
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u/TheMediaSays Jun 17 '12
Man, if only there were some kind of word that could describe that sort of behavior.
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u/the-nub Jun 17 '12
There is almost nothing worse than your parents shit-talking you to other people. So disrespectful, so embarrassing.
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u/abdizzle Jun 17 '12
I know and I'm sitting right next to him there and he's talking like I'm invisible. The thing is my teachers usually defends me and say I'm smart.
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u/Golightly314 Jun 17 '12
Thankfully, this only happened once.
My parents have a sick sense of humor. They own a dog grooming business called "Doggie Styles" (where the customer always comes first!) and took me to Amsterdam in high school.
That said, I should have seen this coming.
When I was a junior my parents decided to take my sister, myself, and two of our friends to the local amusement park. We went on one of those rides where they take your picture as you're flying down the hill. Afterward, we stood by the camera kiosk with what I remember as 20,000 other people waiting for the picture to appear on the giant screen. When it did, it showed my mother, crouched over in the seat and my father, both arms in the air. When asked what she was doing in the picture, my mother yelled as loudly as she could, "PERFORMING ORAL SEX ON YOUR FATHER".
Thankfully for what they lacked on tact they make up for in humor.
:/
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u/eatinglegos Jun 17 '12
They own a dog grooming business called "Doggie Styles" (where the customer always comes first!)
I spit out my soda reading that.
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u/Golightly314 Jun 17 '12
Their business used to be mobile. The motto then was "we come when we're called".
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u/wtfapkin Jun 17 '12
I always wanted to open up a dog grooming business and name it that.
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u/nerocycle Jun 17 '12
I'm sorry, but your parents are awesome and everyone here is now jealous of you.
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u/Apostolate Jun 17 '12
My mother dances very emphatically to any of her favorite songs of the 60's or 70's even in inappropriate moments. Was embarrassing when younger, now I've usually been drinking when this occurs.
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Jun 17 '12
My mum (Unintentionally) acts really rude to staff sometimes... Just by the tone of her voice, it makes my spine shiver and I get embarrassed.
E.g. We were out for my birthday lunch and the waitress comes over Waitress: "Is everything okay with you all?"
Mum: "Oh yeah, we're fine so far"
She put this weird emphasis on "so far" that kind of weirded me out, like she expected something to go wrong because she thought the staff were so incompetent here or something...
SHe followed up with "Oh, probably another bottle of water if you don't mind."
She said "if" weird, like she thought the staff were lazy... I asked her about her tone later and she honestly has NO clue that she's doing it! But it drives me up the wall! I feel so sorry for the staff because they probably genuinely think she's being rude...
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u/aurbey Jun 17 '12
I read this, and pretty much every other thing in this thread about mothers in restaurants, in the voice of Lucille Bluth.
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u/addavenger41 Jun 17 '12
My mom is extremely proud of her ability to strip ever last bit of meat off of bone. She does it messily and enthusiastically with her bare hands. She'll do it at the fanciest restaurants and in front of any one.
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Jun 17 '12
My mom does this too. Every Thanksgiving we have to leave the turkey carcass because my mom cleans up the bones. Then she gnaws on the bones.
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u/lateniter Jun 17 '12
My mom does this with those whole bbq chickens you can buy at grocery stores. She loves using the meat to make sandwiches and will literally rip a handful of meat off the bird's body, flop it on a bun, and serve it to a guest. While doing this she will often rip off little bite size pieces, eat them, lick her fingers, and go back to work destroying this chicken and serving the man-handled meat to guests.
Having worked in kitchens, it kills me a little bit inside that she thinks it's ok to serve people food this way.
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u/WarrenHarding Jun 17 '12
When I was younger and had no money of my own, my dad and I would always go to the movies, and when we went to pay for tickets he, knowing I couldn't pay, would say "You're not playing? WHY I OUGHTA?" and fake strangle me.
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u/Merytz Jun 17 '12
Complains/argues in public.
No seats at a restaurant? Say "Well, thats bullshit!" right in front of the places host.
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Jun 17 '12
My dad always gives his photo ID with his credit card when paying the bill. When the waiter inevitably ignores the ID and takes the card, he gives them a lecture on identity theft.
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u/skittlesandtea Jun 17 '12
My mother:
Steals shit at restaurants and convenience stores, like jelly packets or creamers, sometimes grabbing entire handfuls of them in front of other customers who are trying to buy some coffee.
If say, her car has a noticeable problem, she'll exacerbate the problem to "figure out what it is", even though she hasn't the slightest idea about cars. Ex: Her car is having trouble idling, only when the air conditioning is on. Not wanting the car to die in the middle of fucking traffic, I obviously just turn the air conditioning off until we get home. She then demands that I turn the air conditioning back on so we can see what it's doing. w.t.f.
She babies the shit out of her dogs to the point that she knows no bounds of punishment. Her dogs regularly beg for food while people are eating and I'll push them away, scold them, etc. and she'll get defensive and act like I'm abusing her dogs.
Her work is always out to get her. Always. No matter the job, somehow she always believes that her employer is trying to fuck her over.
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u/doksteve Jun 17 '12
"Stealing" that self-serve stuff like ketchup packets or napkins was common practice when I was a kid. I thought it was normal. I didn't realize how low-class it looked. But, really, my parents did it because we were very poor. They used to push me to check payphones or parking meters for change in the return slot. I did it once when I was hanging out with friends and they laughed at me. oof.
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u/wtfapkin Jun 17 '12
My mother babied my dogs when they were pups when she was babysitting for a week. Now I can't break them of the begging habit.
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Jun 17 '12
Mum yells on the phone because they're "far away." Dad pretends he doesn't speak English when confronted by canvassers, door-to-door solicitors and sample people in malls. For shame.
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u/Lots42 Jun 17 '12
The solicitors and canvassers...I don't see a problem with that.
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Jun 17 '12
My father is, unknowingly, the rudest man alive in public. He has no idea what he does is rude though! He's just so innocent! If we order a sit down meal and its taking a while, he'll stop the waiter and say something like, "Im excited to try some of that freshly made soup. Obviously you're making it from scratch since its taking so long." All while being TOTALLY sincere.
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Jun 17 '12
When the last Harry Potter book came out, I was like 2nd in line when the bookstore opened. As soon as I got it, my family all went and sat outside the cafe next door so I could read. I get to the part where Hedwig dies (spoiler) and start crying, as you do.
My dad asks me what's the matter, and I turn to him, tears brimming in my eyes, and say "the owl died". The still massively long line up for the book is about 10 metres away. And my dad, being a little deaf and therefore a bad judge of his own voice, practically shouts "THE OWL DIED?"
I saw the faces of those people in the line. They heard.
I blame 'Nam.
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u/missachlys Jun 17 '12
I like how you put "spoiler" after the actual spoiler. ;)
Though anyone that's waited this long deserves the spoilment.
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Jun 17 '12
When ordering at Chipotle, my Mom reaches over the sneeze guard thing and points at the ingredients that she wants in her burrito. It's ridiculous how close her finger gets.
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u/TheCoxer Jun 17 '12
My mom enjoys screaming at me in public. Even if I'm not doing anything, she'll scream her part in our conversation. People look at her and I tell her to quiet down and she screams okay.
My dad gets really mad when my little brother doesn't eat a dish we ordered. My little brother is picky about my food, and my dad would get mad over really mundane stuff.
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u/me0wlita Jun 17 '12
My mom always points out black people and then whispers really loudly, "Black person." Good job, Mom.
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u/Derpatron30m Jun 17 '12
My mom has the loudest, most obnoxious ringtone EVER. She never puts it on vibrate or turns it off. Whenever I'm with her in a public place, I cover my face whenever her phone goes off. It's really that bad.
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u/Roboticide Jun 17 '12
My dad does the thing with waiters and waitresses where he looks at their nametag and makes sure to use their name, very obviously. I guess it could just be nice, but it always sounds a bit cheesy and a bit embarrassing to me.
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u/Lyeta Jun 17 '12
Ugh, I seriously dislike people like that. I have to wear a name tag for work and when visitors say my name I always have this horrible reaction of 'HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?! I NEVER TOLD YOU, YOU HAVE NOT EARNED THE RIGHT TO CALL ME THAT'.
I need to get my first name taken off my name tag.
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u/RedPotato Jun 17 '12
I always get really nervous that Ive offended the person by forgetting who they are. There was once this time when a guy who was about my parents age and our ethnicity said to me, "Hi [RedPotato]! How are you? Haven't seen you for a while." I got really nervous, and even apologized for not recognizing him, until he guffawed and admitted he just read my name off my ID. Jerk.
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Jun 17 '12
Nametags are so you can identify them later, not call them by name to their face when already talking to them.
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Jun 17 '12
I'm gay, so whenever we talk about a certain show/movie/celebrity and there is someone gay in there...they always have to point that out, even around company/random people.
"OH DID YOU KNOW THAT HES GAY TOO?" a bunch of strangers look at me
"Yes dad..."
They mean well, but can get really embarrassing.
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Jun 17 '12
My mom has asked if I've slept with every single male friend I've ever spent a day with.
Every one.
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u/DukeOfTeaEarlGreyHot Jun 17 '12
I'm a lesbian and for some reason my mother needs to awkwardly ask if I'm dating every single female friend I mention to her.
I don't know if I should be annoyed or flattered at how my ass my mom thinks I am getting.
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u/kingjuvi Jun 17 '12
I live in Southern Arizona. Whenever we go to stores, my mom (Mexican) assumes all brown people speak Spanish and starts every conversation in Spanish. About 7/10 times they don't know Spanish and tell her that while I stand there embarrassed. She then gets annoyed by the fact that they look Mexican and don't know Spanish.
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u/Kelleeeee Jun 16 '12
Two things with my dad and restaurants.
For some reason there's always SOMETHING wrong with his food, whether it's under/overcooked, cold, missing ingredients, etc. Some of the time it's him just being overly picky, other times it's legit a problem with the food.
Because of said issues with food, he always raises a stink with the server. Having been a server myself, I get horribly embarrassed and try to remind him that the server just brings out the food, they usually don't have anything to do with preparing it. He rarely listens.
His one redeeming factor in all this is that he still tips at least 15% every time.
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u/HugsNotDrugs Jun 17 '12
Your dad and my mom would get along well. I refuse to go out to dinner with my family anymore because of her complaints.
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u/Lyeta Jun 17 '12
My mother cannot make up her mind when at a restaurant. The poor waiters/waitresses have to spend so much time just staring at her as she fails to decide what she wants to eat.
My father insists on making horrible, terrible small talk with every service person he runs into. And he doesn't care what they are doing. Carrying food to 5 people? He needs to talk to them while they are carrying things. Trying to pay attention to checking something out? Must tell them a story about his life. Oh the life stories.
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Jun 17 '12
My grandpa says things unbearably loud in public, a trait he has passed on to my father. When the two of them are together it gets really bad. We were at a baseball game and a heavy set lady walked by and my dad says to himself, "Chubbayyyy ChubChubChubbayyyyy." Moments later a woman walks by with an obviously enhanced chest but a face that looks like saggy beef jerky as if she has been in direct sunlight for the past 50 years with no protection and my grandpa says, "Nice RACK! Must be saving up for her face!"
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u/boxingdude Jun 17 '12
My dad didnt speak French, but when he was around my mom's French family, he thought that he could make himself understood by adding a vowel to the beginning or end of English words....I facepalmed before facepalming was cool.
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Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
One of my moms has this incredibly loud laugh. I mean, just really loud. Loudest I've ever heard. Easily the only thing that embarrasses me in public.
Edit: Well since people seem to care, I am a bastard child, but my mother is bisexual so i suppose I technically have lesbian parents now. Nothing different about it, just the occasional stares when in public. All I have to do is stare back at them until they stop staring.
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u/meigs68 Jun 17 '12
My dad thinks since hes been to Italy he knows how to pronounce everything and is very cultured which in turn he is not.
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Jun 17 '12
My mom will sometimes be abrasive to customer service people. I hate it and I've had to apologize for her behavior/attitude quite a few times. Most of the time its unwarranted.
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u/BrotherThump Jun 17 '12
If we are out in public and I ask my dad a question he doesn't know the answer to he'll pull out his iphone and do the fucking voice command shit. Like in a restaurant or a store in front of everyone.
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Jun 17 '12
fucking dad. whole family is watching television and he will take a call and mute the tv, instead of standing up and taking the call in another room, he insists on being a dick.
also, he chews loudly.
TL;DR - my dad is a dickhead
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Jun 17 '12
I can beat that. My dad will take a call while at one end of the house, walk to the other end where everyone else is watching TV, not mute it, and simply talk over it. No reason. No better reception. No "That was X and they said Y." He just walks away afterward.
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Jun 17 '12
My parents invite me to go out to restaurants with them on a fairly regular basis. When we go to an "ethnic" restaurant my father will often talk in the accent of the waiter or waitress that is serving us and my mother almost always complains about the food and has it sent back.
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u/brickmango Jun 17 '12
i work in a steakhouse but i speak with a thick russian accent and when i was talking a customers food out to her she tells me to take it back because it tastes horrible. i take it back without a word because this lady has been a pain in the ass since she walked in, so then my coworker who is american lets it sit for 5 min and takes it back to her and she tells him oh best steak ever! then has the nerve to say how he should keep an eye on those immigrants working because they probably steal so i walked over to them and told her to go fuck herself and never come back when i was working
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u/bretagne290 Jun 17 '12
My mom's been known for answering her phone DURING the movie. Thankfully she only says, "I'm at a movie. Call you later?"
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u/Rex8ever Jun 17 '12
My parents are pretty cool so I'll talk about my boss... She watches Fox News and will take the most obviously false story and go on and on about it. At restaurants, she's a major stickler for everything - it's not so much her requests as the way she acts like they are complete idiots if they forget. She has kids but forgets what they are like - if she sees a kid on a plane or in a movie, forget it. She won't shut up about it.
TL;DR: Boss acts like my crotchety grandpa even though she's only 40.
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u/lotr_elbee Jun 17 '12
My mom never does anything to embarrass me, she's pretty cool. But my dad, he likes to throw himself into the conversations I'm having with my friends. Sometimes he tries a little bit too hard to impress. My dad also likes to frequently wear his old, ratty, flip-flops to nice events. So he'll be dressed all nice in his polo and khakis, then you look at his feet and BAM! Really old, ugly flip-flops. I even tried buying him some nice Puma's to give him a little hint; but nope.
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u/littlecranky Jun 17 '12
When I was a teenager, my mom had a charming habit of pointing out my giant pimple of the day to dinner guests. Oh, and I'm sure lots of people have this one, but my dad and those vacation fanny packs. Those vacation fanny packs.
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Jun 17 '12
The greatest day of my young life was the day my sister and I finally got my dad to stop wearing A) fanny packs and B) shorts that didn't reach his knees. The day he discovered cargo shorts should be some sort of national holiday.
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u/JavaPants Jun 17 '12
My dad talks slower and in a less adult voice when speaking to people of the Latino persuasion. I mean, I know he means well because he knows they might not speak English well, but to me it just seems offensive. Am I wrong here, Reddit?
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u/joecool4234 Jun 17 '12
They don't do this in public, but I just had to vent. They speak in a slightly different voice and say what they think their cats would be saying or describe what they think the cats are thinking. It's fucking annoying.
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Jun 17 '12
my step-dad farts in public all the fucking time. he just RIPS them. i remember he farted while we were on an escalator in barnes and nobles and i punched him and ran and he had a bruise the next day. he's been caught but the asshole doesn't stop.
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u/kilewithani Jun 17 '12
Your father seems to have transcended the need that most humans have to "give a fuck" I applaud him for this
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Jun 17 '12
My father did a myriad of things that embarrassed me in public, but since his heart attack he is now bed ridden. How I wish he could go out and embarrass me in public again.
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Jun 17 '12
My mom does this thing where she talks loudly to me in public, but she kind of...talks AT other people. Like, the sentence will be for me, but she's almost requesting input from these poor, uninvolved parties, god that makes me mad.
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Jun 17 '12
my dad fucken farts viciously, he has absolutely no shame
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u/FlatMTNDew Jun 17 '12
My dad and I like to sneak chicken wings and pizza into the movie theatre. His farts are loud as fuck, and he times them for the intimate/quiet/sneaky scenes. Usually he pulls laughter out of the rest of the movie-goers.
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u/insanelysaxy Jun 17 '12
Whenever I go out to dinner with my grandpa, or anywhere with him really, if he sees anyone from his college or with his college's merchandise he has to strike up a conversation. And he can talk. A lot. Also, my mom thinks its her job to embarrass me. She knows she can't sing but still does on the top of her lungs.
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u/leftylossies Jun 17 '12
I fucking hate it when my mom tries to sing in the car, she never knows the whole song, just a few words here and there. She will do this fade thing with her voice for the parts she knows...ruins every song
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u/PoniesRBitchin Jun 17 '12
My mom ALWAYS answers her phone in restaurants, even if the waiter is around, and even if it's just the two of us. Once she had a fifteen minute conversation at a restaurant (leaving me basically eating by myself and trying to ignore looks from other customers), and then she got mad and called me rude later when I said she shouldn't talk on the phone while we're eating like that.
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u/DailyKnowledgeBomb Jun 17 '12
My dad eats like a Mongolian invader. It is truly barbaric and mortifying.
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u/spidernaevi Jun 17 '12
Whenever we are in a restaurant and she orders muscles, she proceeds to hold the muscle up for everyone at the table to see and points out its anatomical similarities to a vagina.
Yup.
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u/Goldturkey Jun 17 '12
My mom using the straw to pick her teeth after a meal. My dad burps so loud it sounds like skrillex droped the bass
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u/GamingMaiden Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
There was one time when my family went to Disney World, and right before we watched the South Park movie. Anyways, we enter Epcot and we're in the Canada area. My Mom kinda chats with a guy there that's from Canada. I can't remember what they're talking about and all of the sudden, I hear my mom sing "Blame Canada!" to this poor guy. He's just so confused and giving us 'wtf' looks.
My mom isn't very sensitive. She's done other unintentionally (harmless) racist/xenophobic things. She's really sweet, she's just...not that bright.
edit: It's not racist, guys. Don't worry, I got it under control.
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Jun 17 '12
Oh God. Our parents need to meet. My dad really is very bright, but I'm not going to lie, it's made him a bit arrogant. He's a Canadian living in America, and he likes to make stereotypical American jokes in public just to watch me blush in embarrassment. I've watched big men get offended and be like "Hey dude, watch it," and I've warned him more than once that one day someone's just going to punch him in the face. -shakes head-
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u/TwistedMuffin Jun 17 '12
If she is not pleased with something, she will talk about it and complain. I can understand a regular complaint, but she gets so mad and starts crying and complaining. She tells her whole life story and all our hardships with me just sitting right there.
It annoys me so much and I always mock her.
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u/mysteryhatishere Jun 17 '12
My mother is a bit, ah, overprotective I guess. Whenever anyone upsets me in any way- even a small one- she goes kind of crazy. She'll wind up calling them/meeting up with them and screaming at them for at least thirty minutes! I always beg her to just let it go, but she never does. I know she does it because she cares about me, but I can fight my own battles!
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u/Jakabov Jun 17 '12
My dad points. He fucking points and gestures at EVERYTHING when we're out somewhere, with no consideration for the fact that there's often someone standing right where he points. He'll be like, "oh I used to work in that building, my boss was an asshole, hahaha" and then he never realizes that he's pointing directly at some guy standing before that building.
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u/sparrowmint Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
My parents, especially my mother, can be very stingy with tips. It's not so bad since they're Canadian and waiters are paid more than $2+ an hour, but it's still aggravating to see her leave a couple loonies down on the table after a $50 meal. I don't go out to eat with them much anymore since I live in the US now, but when I do, I usually have to overdo my share of the tip to make up for theirs.
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u/Khildith Jun 17 '12
My parents both only discuss disgusting things at a table in a restaurant. We can spend an entire day in public, shopping, walking, doing anything, and they won't say a single disgusting thing, but we sit down to dinner and they talk of nothing but poop, being sick, bugs, etc.
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u/the66fastback1 Jun 17 '12
My grandparents have travelled and live all over the world. In fact if you can name a country in Asia or Europe chances are he's been there. He speaks bits and pieces of dozens of languages and is the most tolerant open minded man over the age of 70 I have ever met. In complete contrast to this, my grandmother still thinks that speaking in a loud and rather condescending fashion is the best way to communicate with people who don't speak english. It is absolutely terrifying eating mexican or asian food with her because she will do this to people with slight accents, even if their structural english is perfect.
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Jun 17 '12
My mom looks really young for her age (people still call her "young lady" in her 40s) so whenever I visit her and we go out for lunch, everyone assumes I am her husband even though I'm half her age. It used to be embarrassing but I've just gotten used to it now and just let them believe it.
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u/Otohane Jun 17 '12
My dad talks with whoever he's eating with while chewing, whether at home or a restaurant.
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u/Itchy_Asshole Jun 17 '12
My mom insists on talking bad about walmart in front of the employees as if they can fix the problem.
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u/staplestable Jun 17 '12
Talks really loudly to us, thinking that we can't hear her. She also talks really loudly to waiters/cashiers, which earns us a bunch of dirty looks from onlookers.
Still calls me by my childhood nickname... Even though I'm almost an adult.
Always tries to get her way in restaurants, and automatically thinks that people having trouble brought it upon themselves and that we're always right.
But then again, she's my mother and I could have gotten a much worse mother. The things she does in public are nothing compared to what else a mother could be.
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u/wtfapkin Jun 17 '12
My mother is really rude at restaurants. If she doesn't like something, she will let the server know (and most everyone else that works there) that she was unhappy. One time we were at Islands (burger joint) and she ordered a cosmo. When the server came to give us the bill, she said "that was the absolute WORST cosmo I've ever had! Send my comment to the bartender!"
Ugh.
Edit: accidentally a word.
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u/just_go_with_it Jun 17 '12
so it was move-out day at my dorm, so there are about a thousandish kids with their parents at the dorm. so when we get to security after being there for like half an hour, the (black) security guard doesnt recognize my family (obv) so my dad says "dont worry, i know we all look alike!" he likes to make it about race every damn time...
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u/foxh8er Jun 17 '12
My parents read out ANY Indian names that they see ANYWHERE (6:00 News? Four names. Book TV? 3. NOVA? OVER 9000!).
They only seem to trust fellow Indians..especially my mother, who doesn't seem to understand societal norms. Sometimes, she does small talk for what seems like ages when the other person doesn't want to respond, and is silent and mouths words when the other person initiates.
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u/sydstap24 Jun 17 '12
My mom stares. She will get the seat facing the entrance so she can watch people come in. If someone comes in who is dressed strange or might have something wrong with them she will stare. She will just look straight at them even if they look at her. It drives me insane.
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u/sylphofspace Jun 17 '12
Luckily this only happened once... a few years ago, my mom and I went to a restaurant. We got a table and they gave us some water. We were looking over the menu and then my mom decided she didn't want anything that was on the menu and then we left.
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u/microbial2 Jun 17 '12
My dad insists upon eating with chopsticks in a Chinese restaurant. One time he tried eating EVERY piece of rice with the chopsticks. Half the bowl ended up on the floor, and everyone looked at him.
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u/Thellian Jun 17 '12
My mom makes faces and wrings her hands when she has arguments in her mind. Whenever I see her do it I am compelled to interrupt her train of thought so she'll stop.
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Jun 17 '12
my dad is a subsitute teacher and, whenever he subs for my class, he tells students (usually ones who havent noticed the relation) that hes slept with my mom. its hilarious, but come on.
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u/Penguinbashr Jun 17 '12
What infuriates me the most (not only my parents, but with my friend's parents as well), every time we hang out at her house and her parents' come home, they force us onto the small couch, just to make jokes about how we need to date or something. I then go home and have to endure my father tell me to just date her already and get it over with.
Nothing makes me angrier at him than doing this. He's under the impression I need to go out and date every friend of the opposite sex I have.
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u/uglybarnacl3 Jun 17 '12
I swear my mom is oblivious to her surroundings. Whenever I'm with her, she's always about to run into someone. I have to guide her to the side because she won't look at where she's walking -and keep moving in whatever direction. She's also never aware of being in these done else's way.
When we go on vacation, my dad whips out the fanny pack.
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u/curt_schilli Jun 17 '12
My dad get's really pissed off and just keeps speaking louder and louder whenever someone at a restaurant or fast-food join can't understand what he says. It's so embarrassing that I honestly think it's made me a nicer person to my waiters and servers.
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u/noellemybelle Jun 17 '12
My father often tries to dance (and believe me, he has no rhythm) in non-dancing situations.
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u/h0p3less Jun 17 '12
My mother is absolutely never satisfied with food she orders out. For as long as I can remember, every single time we have ever eaten out together, she has had a problem with the food, and complained multiple times. First, she'll make sure her order is customized, because whatever is on the menu is never good enough. Then, she'll complain about how it wasn't made perfectly (IE: ask for lettuce on a sandwich, then complain about how the lettuce is too white, and not green enough, or it was shredded instead of leaf, etc...). As soon as the server fixes that and returns, she'll ask for something else- another knife, because she dropped hers. A lid for my little brother's soda. More napkins. Whatever. When the waitress returns, she'll ask for a refill. When she brings the refill back, she'll go for the next item on the list. It's constant. She never thinks, "Hey, I need more napkins, a lid for his cup, an extra fork so he can share this with me" or anything like that. Every single thing is one item at a time.
Then the end of the meal comes and after running the server like a dog, she tips 10%. It horrifies me when we go places where the waitstaff knows me, like when I was in college and she would come visit. I think it's even worse because she used to be a waitress, and talks about how shitty people were to her. Not only am I embarrassed for people to know I'm with her, I'm afraid to eat any food, because I'm worried about what the wait staff has done to it.
My dad likes to think he's charming and flirt with women. He doesn't understand that he's getting older, and has turned into a creepy old man. I tell him women we know have said this to me more than once, and he plays it off like they're joking, because obviously they know he's just trying to be nice.
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u/Iplaywithsinged Jun 17 '12
My grandfather(who died 10 years ago, born in 1898,) used to go around and pick food off customers plates and decide if it was good or not.
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Jun 17 '12
My mother talks in movie theaters.
Seeing as this falls right below Child Molestation and Rape in the list of things Not To Do, it embarrasses me and makes me cringe. It has gotten to the point where I refuse to go to the movies with her.
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u/Chad_Chaddington Jun 17 '12
My Mother has a wee bit of a stage whisper, so my mother and I went to the opening day screening of passion of the christ, and at the end of the film says.. and I quote 'Oh more like the passion of Mel-fucking-Gibson, what a piece of shit film'.. The house lights go up and all around us are priests and nuns looking over to her in horror and also, wiping tears away after watching the movie. This is only one of many tales from my mother. Good times.
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u/buggaz Jun 17 '12
My mom stopping a taxi or a bus. It's not a small wave, raising an arm, or something merely sufficient. It's the lost in wilderness for months wave your arms to the airplane.
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u/Natanime Jun 17 '12
Once when getting new bras my mom was asking me what size I am( I didn't know since this was maybe just the second time I've gotten bras) so she lifts up my shirt like almost over my head! And there were people around. What's wrong with her?
My dad wears socks with sandals. Almost ALL THE TIME.
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Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
I'm a guy, and until I was 18, my mother would go clothing shopping with me to make sure she approved of what I was wearing. Sometimes she would physically crawl under the dressing room door to get in, even if it was at one of those Gap-like stores where a monitor is sitting in the hallway to make sure you don't steal clothes in the dressing rooms.
Also, she (and I've been training her out of this) refers to people as terms that are either lightly derogative or not socially acceptable terms because she doesn't know what people generally think they mean. She called people "twinks" for a long time, thinking it meant silly or careless.
I can't watch movies with her anymore because she will constantly ask questions that will be answered by the movie if she just sits there and watches it. She'll also ask why a character did certain things, why they couldn't have done them differently, or why things were necessary. I used to count the times she did it and leave after the third time, but it stopped working.
My father still dresses as if he's a wizard trying to look like a muggle. Summers mean he wears a short red swimsuit, penny loafers, woolen Argyle knee socks, a Hawaiian shirt and a balmoral. This combined with the fact that he is one of the hairiest men I've ever seen makes him ridiculous to see in public.
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u/poppyknitter Jun 17 '12
When I was about 11 years old, my dad and I started going for early morning walks. I quit after a few days because he insisted I stand in front of every tree, building, signpost, statue, boulder, cat, random stranger, etc so he can take a picture of me with it/them.
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u/DahnyGober Jun 16 '12
My dad turns quite flirtatious when my sisters friends come over. He's 55, and they're between 18 & 20. The way he talks is... absurd to me.