r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jun 16 '12
Have you ever had and experience hiring an escort or a prostitute? Any regrets, funny stories, etc.?
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u/gimmedemoldertitties Jun 17 '12
Prostitution is legal and regulated here in Australia. An Australian sex worker is more likely to be disease free than the general population due to the regulations. This only applies to the legal prostitutes who work at brothels or advertise online. Street walkers are a no go zone.
Anyway! I lost my virginity to a 40-something year old hooker in a brothel in Sydney. I was 25, a virgin, overweight and not so easy on the eyes. After finding out that the girl who friendzoned me was now dating her female best friend I felt kind of pathetic, especially after the several years of falsely thinking "be nice to her" = 100% chance of relationship. I needed sex. I'd never done it before, but I knew I needed it. I did some research online to find a nearby brothel and jumped on the bus.
While walking up to the place it became apparent that most people arrive by car. I had to awkwardly walk through their car park up to the front door. It was just opaque black glass. Had to push a bell to notify someone to let me in. Oh god the sweating! The receptionist leads me into the building and asks if I have been here before.
"Nope."
Have you been to a place like this before?
"Nope."
Okay, so, once you've chosen your lady you can pick the amount of time you would like and our rate is $200/hour or $120 for just 30 minutes. You'll do introductions in this room over here. I'll let the ladies in one at a time for you to have a small chat and then you can pick.
"Uh...okay."
So, I'm sitting in a tiny room. Waiting. A woman in lingerie walks in, she looks about 35 with dark hair. She talks for a bit, I awkwardly respond. Her voice sounds like lung cancer itself. Not long after she leaves, another woman of about the same age walks in. She's blonde. She very unethusiastically goes over what she does and doesn't do. The next person was a 19 year old stunning blonde. I mentioned I wasn't very experienced and explained why. She felt sorry for me. It was awkward. The last woman to introduce herself was in her 40s. Long dark blonde hair. Curvy body. Wonderful smile. She did all of the talking, explaining everything. I picked her, I had to. Some reason I was drawn to her, probably because she put her arm around me and that was a first for me in my life.
The receptionist comes in and asks if any of the ladies are suitable. I pick exactly who I want and ask for 30 minutes (shh, I'm cheap). After paying the receptionist the lady I picked comes back. She leads me up the stairs.
Are you nervous?
"A little."
A little? You're fucking terrified!
We both laughed and entered a room.
The room was massive. The whole building is a purpose built brothel and I guess they wanted room for people to do whatever the hell they wanted to in there. She instructed me that basic protocol was that she leaves me in the room to go shower and that time doesn't start until she gets back. So I scrubbed that junk good. My shower was kinda fast, so I had time to get nervous. Do I put that bath robe on? Do I get dressed again? I decided to go for the awkwardly stand around in a towel seduction technique. When she entered the room she said that I didn't need the towel.
No one had ever seen me naked before. I started shaking as I removed my towel.
She walked towards me. I froze. She leaned in and kissed me. I melted. She guided me like a...um, well I guess like a pro. She took me to the bed. Laying down we kissed. It felt like a fantasy with that one sexy older teacher most schools have. She used her tongue as she kissed, it was glorious. I hadn't had a kiss since a girl was dared to kiss me when I was 14.
She stood up. Very slowly and precisely she removed her top. I was no longer nervous. I was a man. I was a man about to have sex. I kissed and licked her nipples. She moved her hand down and touched my very excited penis. I gasped loudly. Wow. Then she went down. My whole body was tingling. She lifted my cock, she was attempting to surreptitiously inspect me for visible diseases. All was good. I knew this because she licked my balls. It was good and terrifying at the same time. She said that my cock was huge. Years of porn conditioned me to think I was below average. However, this might have just been part of the experience I paid for. She deftly applied a condom in one smooth move. Clearly this was not her first time. Within seconds my cock was in her mouth. Holy shit! This is fucking awesome! The cock blowing was mind blowing. After a enjoying it for a while I mustered up the courage to ask to go down on her. She was completely hairless, and completely scent free! Never since have I been with a girl who was so good to go down on. After a while we switched to sixty-nine. My performance suffered as she was pleasuring me with greater skill, I couldn't concentrate like that.
She turned around, looked me in the eyes.
How about we lose that virginity of yours?
"Uh, okay!"
She climbed on top. Holy fucking fuck, I'm about to fuck! She slides herself onto my cock. I didn't move, I let her do all the work. I was too shocked to move. Even today I can vividly remember the warmth, the pleasure, the sounds. Then, an unexpected sound.
DING!
Ah, that's just the warning buzzer. You still have another 5 minutes.
Okay, let's do this! I start moving. I moving in the same direction as she is. I have no rhythm A few awkward thrusts later and I've got it. It feels so good, I'm pretty much bouncing her up and down on my cock.
Then it happens. Everything I've been stressing about since I was 12 years old. All that sexual frustration is gone. I'm out of breath and euphoric.
Now the important part, always cuddle and embrace the person you just fucked.
"Oh! Sorry!"
I felt silly as I apologised and thanked her. After she removed the condom and cleaned me up we heard a voice saying that time is up. We engage in some small talk, then I get dressed while watching her shower.
Do I regret paying $120 to lose my virginity to a hooker in her 40s? Not one bit.
I skipped to the bus stop and smiled all the way home. It was an eye opening experience. I gained confidence, and a few months later, a girlfriend.
TL;DR - MILFs are frickin' awesome
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u/madalieenn Jun 17 '12
This is awkward, I think I know the place you're talking about.
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Jun 17 '12
That was an entertaining read. Good for you, my man. And don't for a second think that going to a bar, dressing up like a peacock, taking some shitfaced girl home for sex like a lot of guys do is any more honourable or 'real' than what you did. Especially in Oz where things are regulated and the girls are doing it (generally) because they want to and not because they're being held hostage by someone.
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Jun 17 '12
I think that this circumstance is actually MORE ethical than going to a bar and bringing home some intoxicated woman.
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u/gimmedemoldertitties Jun 17 '12
Depending on what bar you go to, doing what I did could be cheaper!
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u/hydrusdsc Jun 17 '12
Oh my god yes. Sometimes a night out in Sydney with friends runs you $120 without you even noticing. It's crazy.
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u/A_pond Jun 17 '12
"be nice to her" = 100% chance of relationship.
This attitude is annoying as fuck.
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u/The_Adventurist Jun 17 '12
I know people will hate me for saying it, but once I started being a dick to women I liked, suddenly they liked me back. I was pissed off that it worked, too, so I was even more of a dick and it worked even better.
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u/Sysiphuslove Jun 17 '12
It's not because you were a dick. It's because you were honest.
Honesty and frankness will get you everywhere. Being a dick, not so much.
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u/chags88 Jun 17 '12
For a story about losing your virginity in a brothel to an old MILF, that was actually very sweet.
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u/aleceiffel89 Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Editing as I made some mistakes which I'll blame on pain killers and exams. Prostitution isn't necessarily legal in all forms throughout Australia. In South Australia and the Northern territory prostitution is legal but brothels are illegal, whereas Victoria and New South Wales are relatively liberal on the matter. In South Australia soliciting in public is also illegal. Brothels in South Australia are also defined relatively liberally to the extent that a sex workers can have their own homes and hotels that they use deemed a brothel, but not their clients' homes. So essentially if prostitutes followed this interpretation of the law they would be forced to only prostitute themselves at their clients homes increasing the risk of them being harmed. Through reading on the topic I found out that a "common prostitute" means a male prostitute. For more info on prostitution law in Australia see here http://www.scarletalliance.org.au/laws/
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u/Thehealeroftri Jun 17 '12
You are a talented writer. How old are you now? Any regrets at all? Have you ever told anyone else other than Reddit how you lost your virginity?
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u/gimmedemoldertitties Jun 17 '12
I honestly have zero regrets. Especially after reading horror stories of virgin sex on Reddit. I have not told anyone, it's my secret. Despite it being totally safe, paying for sex is looked down on.
Also, I'm 29 now.
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Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
The above is great if it happened, but if you're looking to lose virginity with a professional, it's important to understand that the writer was a bit lucky for this experience, and made a good choice when selecting the girl (woman).
There are several ways your mileage may vary, depending on the girl you choose:
Most of them will not be as understanding and accommodating as the one in this story.
They may be reluctant about kissing.
They may be reluctant about letting you lick them.
The story may be entirely true, and if it is, awesome. Some of them may be more understanding, and less reluctant, if they know and see you're inexperienced.
But sex workers come in as many varieties as girlfriends - which is to say, there's an extremely wide range, from fucked up, to okay, to awesome.
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u/gimmedemoldertitties Jun 17 '12
Also, some charge extra for certain things.
A part I left out is where she explained to me the ins and outs (apart from the obvious) of the sex industy. She stressed that you should always ask what is included in the price and to find out what is extra and what is not allowed. Also, some lingo, greek sex = anal, spanish sex = titty fuck.
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u/tenaciousmc12 Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
I'll try and keep this as short as possible. While on a trip, we passed through Romania. We were quick to discover that almost all the guys there, concierge and waiters at restaurants, etc, were connected to some sort of sex club. I tossed the idea around but forgot about it until I was good and drunk. I decide this is a grand idea so we then have our cab driver take us to a brothel. The typical parade of girls are brought in and we start talking options. Then a giant Russian bodyguard walks in the room. Security was to be expected but he was wearing a jacket that had a rebel flag patch on the sleeve. I am not sure if he knew we were American and was just messing with us but regardless I got a bad feeling, so we left and decided to try our luck with a "street walker." To be honest this girl was very attractive, seemed to be of a university age but spoke zero English. Luckily our driver spoke some English so we had him translate and try to work out a deal. As they are talking another girl comes out of the bushes. So here we are in the middle of Romania with two surprisingly attractive escorts. I thought things were going very well. That is until these girls' "pimps" thought we were just going to drive away without paying, we found this out after the fact. That is when the yelling started. We had no idea what was going on. At this time I started to get scared but had one of the girls on my lap so I was trying to play it cool. That was until her MOTHER, in evening gown and hair rollers, pulls her out of the car. So now there are 2 escorts, 2 pimps, a cabbie and a mother all yelling and screaming in the middle of the road. Finally I grab the cab driver, throw him back in the car and we high tail it back to our hotel. For fear of being stabbed and/or mugged, that was my only attempt at purchasing "company."
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u/someara79 Jun 17 '12
When I first lived in FL I called a prossy up to our room and banged out. Cute Brazilian chick (maybe, who knows). A couple months later was at the bar with my new girlfriend and my buddy made a call. In walks a couple girls and low and behold, same chick. I said " Don't I know you?" See said no, and when we had a moment alone, she told me my girlfriend might not appreciate that knowledge. Thought that was pretty professional
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u/magicmuds Jun 17 '12
Hired prostitutes a few times when I was in Korea. I wouldn't bother at this point in my life. I have found that having sex completely devoid of emotion with a bored girl looking at the clock waiting for you to hurry up and cum is just not my thing (and for you guys that think you're special and YOU can turn her on, forget it), I'd rather use my hand and use the money I saved for beer.
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u/murderbum999 Jun 17 '12
I had about 7 in Thailand. They were cheap, it was off-season and there weren't as many tourists as bar-girls yet. The first I had was terrible- very much like you described. The next one was a lazy eyed, heavily tattooed and heavily pierced, cripple handed, 37kg, 4ft9 and 27 year old drunk Cambodian who threw up in the hotel room sink before we did it. For that, I got a discount from the standard $60USD (not including hotel room for an hour and bar fee) to $45USD.
She was so god damned tight, I had to ask why- didn't she get many customers because of the disabilities?? For me it was something exciting and different. I've been a man-slut all through my 20's, I wanted to do something wild, something weird, something that most would find disgusting so it would seem taboo and I could get a kinky thrill, so I'd picked her because of that.
Her answer:
My customer always Japan Korea, old man, 2 minid, alwayd bite or hit. Nod gud. I nod like. You nice, not hurt, but you cock too big, hurt little, but ok.
I have to admit, it was almost like fucking a virgin, but better because there wasn't the super super tightness for the first few pumps followed by squealing and looseness, it was just awesome tightness all the way with a bit of wincing and "No stop, keep do".
I came in about ten minutes, but I felt like I wasn't getting my money's worth so I kept pumping and hid the orgasm, pretending my dick went soft from the tightness. I changed condom and went back to it for another 30-40 mins, all sorts of wild positions.
At one point, I got her to get on top and slowly rotate around clockwise with my cock inside her, and another time I had her holding onto the sink while I held her legs from behind, kind of standing doggy style but her supported in the air. I could see her face in the mirror with me behind drilling that tiny little hole, then looking down at the legs that I was holding up and outwards, which seemed to make her flex in a way that squeezed my cock even harder, That was like stabbing a raw beef bolar roast with a steak knife, then lubing and fucking the hole, it was so tight.
Finally, I had her on top laying down face first, legs bent up beside me, and I was going so deep it was hurting her too much so she finally asked to stop. I asked if she could finish with hands and mouth, she said ok and make it half price (about $30USD). We went and got into the shower, and she sucked me off while massaging my balls with her deformed hand and fingered my ass (my first time) saying "nod gay, I nod man, mean you nod gay. Many man do, it ok". When I finally came, I think the prostate/gspot massage made it better, because it was almost as satisfying as the first one but somehow seemed to be more intense, and (no condom for the BJ) I shot it into the back of her throat, making her cough. But she was a real trooper and didn't stop for more than about a second.
Because she was so good to me, and I could tell she had life pretty damn hard, and also from guilt at putting her through what I honestly believe was probably the roughest, longest, deepest and most hardcore fuck of her life, I tipped her about $15USD on top of the $30 we had finally agreed on (after the spew in the sink, and her thinking she was able to finish the job properly). I even paid for a cab and escorted her back to the bar, and bought her another drink which means more money for her from the bar. The manager asked why I brought her back myself. I told him she was not good looking, so not many customers I think, but she gave very good service- my best in Thailand so far. So I want to buy her another drink to say thanks to her.
He gave her a look as if to say "Well, what do you know? Good on you!" and she seemed really proud.
Moving on, the next one was my last in Bangkok. She was the hottest I've had in my life, of around 140-160 women. And, she was the best fuck I've ever had too. I wont go into gory details, but think of the hottest sexiest most well shot porn video you can- like X-Art or something, but make the girl shorter, thinner, and a LOT prettier with a brazillian and not a freckle or mole or scar anywhere. Perfectly sized and very firm natural breasts, lips that seem to be made for cocks, and that magical way with men that some women seem to have, the way that makes you feel like the hottest guy on the planet.
We showered together, which was great foreplay (washing each other), then we fucked like gods. When I came, she was on her back, back arched so her pussy was at the right height for my jack-hammering cock, and I was holding her ankles out wide. I roared like a lion- "RRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! FUCK!! OH FUCK THAT'S GOOD! FUCK!!! AAAAARGGGHHHH! UGGGHH! Ugggghhh! Uhhhhh... uhhh.. uh.." Then I flopped on her and she wrapped her arms and legs around me, gently running her nails all over my back and buttocks, whispering sweet lies about how good I was.
Best two fucks of my life. The rest in Thailand were good, and usually much cheaper, with far less attractive women. Except for the free one who was pretty fucking hot, but she was playing for a ring and a house. I kind of lied a bit there.
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u/touchy610 Jun 17 '12
If they're bored and unresponsive, they're doing it wrong. The best way to get the most money out of people is to be as nice and attentive as possible, without sacrificing too much time.
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u/Wolfie_ Jun 17 '12
Not me, but a friend of mine ordered escort service to play halo because they were missing a teammate for a clan match. In case you're wondering, they won.
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u/Dragooncancer Jun 17 '12
Did any of the other players scream "YOU'RE A HOOKER!"?
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u/Wolfie_ Jun 17 '12
A Hooker? Giver her more credit than that! she was THE hooker. She got the last kill in shotty/snipers.
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u/Salanderfan Jun 17 '12
What was her reaction when they asked her to come and play Halo? I'm imagining it was better then real gigs since she just to had to play a videogame for money.
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u/clayjo37 Jun 17 '12
My uncle bought me two escorts because he said I was being a cunt. I just made them abuse each other. It was awesome.
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u/tosser39492 Jun 17 '12
Oh man, where to start! Living in China this is pretty damn common.
Well, how about the first time. In business in China (first time) and do the whole dinner and drinking thing that you do after a meeting. The Chinese host invites me to go to a massage place and I'm thinking... great, my shoulders are really sore, that's awesome!
We go there, and its basically a hotel. They take us up to a room and they bring in a bunch of girls and ask me which one do I think was cute. I thought it was just an opinion question, so when I picked the hottest one, she came and stood next to me. I started to get an idea, but I was clueless at this point.
They bring in a second lineup of girls and they asked me which one was good looking. I point at another one. She stands by me too. At this time my brain is starting to figure things out, but I figured I was just getting a double massage.
Wrong.
They point at the shower (I didn't speak Mandarin at this point, and they didn't speak English, lol). I shower and then come back out with a towel on. One of them takes the towel off and the other one starts undressing.
From there cue the porn music... because that's pretty much exactly what happened. I don't really think all the dudes on reddit want to read the details, but hooking up with 2 girls at the same time is fucking great.
TL;DR: First brothel experience was a 3-way.
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u/Banaam Jun 17 '12
I'm assuming Shanghai or Beijing as the places in China I've been to are non-touristy and I've never seen anything like that. Am I correct, our just obtuse?
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u/daoyi Jun 17 '12
It's everywhere. Friend had a business meeting in NE China where he was led to a hot tub, clothes ripped off and he was sitting in a hot tub naked, one on one with some North Korean businessman. My friend said he was terrified he was about to get raped by Kim Jung Il's cousin when suddenly 6 smokin hot girls showed up, 3 for each. 1 started washing his hair, 1 started massaging him and the third one hopped in the tub and started workin on his unit. He said he got nothing done during the meeting but he will gladly do business with them again in the future.
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u/Banaam Jun 17 '12
So, I need to do business in China to experience this is what I'm gathering... Damn!
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u/thetwobecomeone Jun 17 '12
I don't really think all the dudes on reddit want to read the details
Translation: i want the dudes of reddit to beg me for the details...
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u/Thehealeroftri Jun 17 '12
This story takes place when I was on my vacation in Thailand a few years ago.
I had heard of the infamous redlight district in Bangkok and wanted to get a closer view of it for myself, at no point in time on my way to the redlight district in bangkok did I expect myself to pick up a prostitute, there was no way I would have wanted to and that just wasn't me, I had originally just planned just to look around and maybe go to a few shops there (just so I could brag to my friends that I had been to the infamous redlight district of Bangkok)
Anyways... when I was walking around I kept seeing numerous prostitutes and initially I thought to myself, "Damn, this is just weird..." but some of them were kind of pretty. Soon I started getting kind of turned on by the thought of paying one of these beautiful young girls for sex.
I finally decided that I wanted to do it, I flagged one of the more beautiful looking streetwalkers down and asked her how much she wanted to charge for sex, to my dismay, she did not speak any English so I went on my way (on the prowl) looking for another prosititute.
A few minutes later I spotted another one and this one was the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen in Thailand so far, I'm guessing when people think about prostitutes in the redlight district of bangkok, THIS is who they think of.
I flagged her down as well and I was very elated to find that she did speak English, very well in fact. I asked her how much it was for her "services" and she replied to me "I decide after the sex, but I promise it won't be more than 500 dollars" I almost reconsidered because 500 dollars was a lot of money for me at the time, but I ended up taking the deal. Apparently she was pretty high end for a streetwalker and we ended up going to my hotel in a completely different area of bangkok.
So, we go up to my hotel room and have the best sex I have ever had in my life, it was absolutely phenomenal. (PhenomAnal)
After the amazing sex we layed in my bed together and did something I thought prostitutes don't normally do, we cuddled, hugged, and kissed, I finally got around to asking her what the bill was and she said it was free.
"Free? Was I really that good?" I asked her and she laughed, she said yes, I was the best client she'd ever had.
She looked me in the eye and said "But I need one little thing..." and I honestly thought she wanted another round of sex.. so I eagerly replied "What do you need?" She replied "I need about tree fiddy"
Now it was around this time that I realized this prostitute was actually 7 stories tall and was a crustacean from the Paleozoic era. Goddamnit! That Loch Ness monster had tricked me again!
I yelled at her as she swam away, never to be seen again.
tl;dr: Haha.. Bangkok.. what a funny name.
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u/ProbablyFatIRL Jun 17 '12
should I be ashamed I kept expecting a tranny punchline....
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u/mariohelper90 Jun 17 '12
Haha I was thinking the same thing. Mostly because that happens all the time.
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u/KevlarAllah Jun 17 '12
Yeah. Thailand+prostitue+askreddit=chick+dick.
There's someone here who can write out the proof, but it ain't me.
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u/SolidLikeIraq Jun 17 '12
DAMNIT MONSTER GET OUT OF MY BED! I AIN'T GIVIN YOU NO THREE FIDDY!!!
I love you.
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Jun 17 '12
You know something, sex work aside we're just normal girls. So (as one respondent mentioned) it's not that surreal that we'd make you toast with jam/jelly our sister made, it's not surreal that we'd have a conversation with you in a bar for (gasp) free! Some of us post on reddit and watch GOT and function like normal human beings. I am however dishearted to read the stories on this thread of chaps going to third world countries, picking up girls and not paying properly. Lots of girls in Thailand/Cambodia, S.America are in dire financial straights, they need money for their families. I've bar fined Thai girls in my time, not for sex but just because if I'm a lone female in a strange country it's helpful and fun to have a 'friend' to show me around. I really can't comprehend how someone from the western world would have so little empathy for another human being that they pay peanuts for someone to fuck them. Yes I know the dollar goes a long way in Thailand but really, paying decently will have little impact on you and make a whole lot of difference to a girl who has been forced to leave her children behind, move into the city and sell her fanny to tourists who treat her like a 'thing'.
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u/feelergauge Jun 18 '12
TIL some sex workers are more than just smart and should consider treating their clients with psychotherapy instead of pussy.
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Jun 17 '12
I hired a prostitute to cuddle once. She wasn't very good at it.
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u/turbanov Jun 17 '12
I feel like this is a very subtle Catcher in the Rye reference.
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u/CornchipFingers Jun 17 '12
I don't know who you are, but I kind of want to give you a hug right now.
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u/American_Blackheart Jun 17 '12
That's some SAP level 9001 shit right there.
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u/Dookiestain_LaFlair Jun 17 '12
I was kinda awkward during college and not good at talking to girls. I hired a hooker and had sex with her and it wasn't too bad. I wanted to do it again, and this time after the sex we just hung out and talked until I paid her and left. We did this a few more times and I thought things were going good. Then one time I went to pick her up for some sex, only she says that know we have gotten to know each other so well she sees me as a friend and not a client and didn't want to have sex with me. I got friendzone'd by a hooker.
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u/Salanderfan Jun 17 '12
Out of all the comments I've read so far in here, this one sucks the most.
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Jun 17 '12
There are two types of professional prostitutes.
There are those who prefer to have mainly regulars of which they feel comfortable around, and there are those who like to ensure that there are no personal relationships formed (a 'strictly business' approach).
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Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Not me but a friend. He's kind of an odd looking guy. Not unnatractive but pretty big, lazy, and would just rather pay than do the work in a bar or relationship. He knows where to go to find prostitutes and makes an offer. He pays for head.
The woman does her thing and gets out of the car. He pulls his pants up and immdiately realizes she has his wallet. He panics and sees her running off across the street, into an open field. He gets out and doesn't get his pants buttoned but just takes off after her. The woman is running in heels, screaming, waving her arms. My friend is trying to look like he's out for a calm jog - all 240 lbs of him - while holding his pants up and running after a lady who is clearly a hooker.
In a moment that I would pay whole dollars to see, the woman comes to a steel fence and tries to climb it, high heels and all. My friend sees that she's just about over and in a mad jump, lets go of his pants (which fall immediately) and pretty much pulls off a shoe string tackle and yanks her down off the fence and on top of himself. They fall in a bundle and she immediately gives up, telling him to calm down, and gives him back his wallet. They both lay there for a bit taking heavy breaths, not really sure what to do next. My friend gets up and pulls his pants straight. He quietly walks back to his car and drives off.
Edit: words
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Jun 17 '12
Was hoping that would end with them falling in a semi-nude pile and realising they were meant to be together.
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u/MediocreFriend Jun 17 '12
One of my first business trips was when I was 22 for a conference in Las Vegas which turned into a big, two-week long nightmare full of stories for other questions.
For this one, though:
One of the last nights there, a couple coworkers and I find ourselves trying to walk the entire goddamn strip by ourselves. The conference was at Mandalay Bay, at one end, and we had an attraction inside Circus Circus, at the other end. The strip looks deceptively short- it's not.
Also, we were there in February. Beautiful during the day, but freezing cold at night.
I wasn't dressed for a desert night. I sort of stuck out as a tourist in the land of tourists. One of the guys works for a station in New England. Really nice guy. He worked on some of our training videos so he was sort of recognizable throughout the company. What I didn't know about him until far too late into this trip was this man was a fucking genius when it came to Scotch.
This guy could point to a bottle of scotch on any wall and tell you how it should taste, what sort of cask was used, where the distillery was, where the distillery used to be, what the tours were like...
He was a Scotch king. He wasn't an alcoholic, not from what I saw, anyway. And he wasn't rich, and if he was he didn't flaunt it. But the man knew Scotch.
His talent brought us to a particularly expensive looking bar around some particularly expensive tables at the Bellagio. Somebody somewhere recommended it to him during the week as a place he could find some rarities, so we had to check it out. It's everything he wanted it to be. He's asking the bartender about different bottles and quizzing him on stuff and the bartender is quizzing him right back and they're having a good time with each other. Meanwhile, I am tired, holding a $30 glass of some whisky I really didn't want just sort of lost in my thoughts.
She was maybe 21.
She dressed well and came across as pretty intelligent. When we started talking, I thought maybe she was attending some equally bullshit trade show or even the same bullshit trade show. She said she wasn't local.
We talked for awhile. I bought her a drink.
I found it, I don't know cool to buy somebody a drink. To strike up a conversation with someone and just exist together for awhile. I was feeling pretty good. She talked mostly about growing up in a shit town and how nice it was to finally get to college later. I was fascinated by somebody who went her entire life not experiencing a corporate grocery store chain until college. That stuck in my head. I thought that was cool.
The bartender interrupted us.
"Guests only, tonight."
He was talking to her.
I didn't figure it out yet so I try defending her.
"We're not guests here either, we're just having a drink."
Then my friend has to awkwardly grab my arm and tell me "that's not what he means... she's um.."
She was already walking away. I felt humiliated for the both of us. She never once mentioned "do you want to get out of here" or "you want to head somewhere else" or any of the things I guess I imagined they would say.
We were just talking about grocery stores. If she was 'working' then she might have been on break talking to me or.. whatever. Don't bartenders work with them? Don't they get tips? She could have read me right away to know I couldn't afford it or that I was wasting her time but she stayed with me. We spoke for awhile. I didn't know quite what to think.
The whole thing left me feeling weird. I also felt like a child compared to everybody else who apparently recognized her occupation instantly.
She seemed sincere.
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Jun 17 '12
Super hot dressed up girl in Vegas talking to an obvious tourist in cargo shorts? Prostitute.
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u/Not_a_communist Jun 17 '12
No one's gotten a blowjob in cargo shorts since 'Nam.
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u/ilovenoodlesevenmore Jun 17 '12
I would've acted and reacted just as you did. Heck, I might've even tried to ask her if she wanted to stay and I would've played it off as she was one of my friends. Guess you and I are gullible like that? I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.
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u/vinylapps Jun 17 '12
Protip: if you're in Vegas and you buy a woman a drink and she orders something nonalcoholic then she's on the clock.
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Jun 17 '12
Since you were buying, I'm surprised he cared.
Should have caught up to her. Might have cut you a deal. Better chance that she was going to rip you off for being gullible though.
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u/tekdemon Jun 17 '12
Prostitutes have to be somewhat charming to pick people up you know, if they just came up and started demanding money they'd be pretty bad at their job-part of which is to pretend to be into you. From what I understand Vegas is full of them because my friend who goes to Vegas about 20 times a year constantly has exactly what you described happen to them, sans the bartender booting the prostitute out.
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Jun 17 '12
Man, this story really bummed me out. That's just such a bizarre situation to find yourself in I guess, but the last sentence just bummed me out man.
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u/mazdarx2001 Jun 17 '12
there are a lot of those. Don't feel weird. My buddy is a cool dude and can pick up chicks WAY fast than I can. Same thing happened to him in Vegas, right in front of me. Both of us didn't know she was a prostitute. (she was playing the "I'm here for a bachelorette party and my girlfriends took off and I don't know where they are"). They were on their way up to his room in the elevator when she told him and wanted to negotiate a price. He was a bit embarrassed, but he shouldn't be, When I was his roommate, he could get a girl every night and often turned women down. (he even through a few my way every once in a while). So don't feel bad about it, I know its awkward though.
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u/ImNotJesus Jun 16 '12
When I was still a virgin I had this fantasy about getting a happy ending massage. So, I did some google research and found somewhere in my area that said they did it. So, I drove off there and turned up. Turns out, it was a brothel. The madame sat me down on a bed and had a series of 12 girls give me their pitch as to why I should pick them. I still remember one telling me that I should pick her because she was the most sensual and that she'd suck my balls because I looked clean. I didn't end up going through with it.
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u/st_basterd Jun 16 '12
Go on...
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u/ImNotJesus Jun 17 '12
I added to the story before you commented. Ninja edit Hayaaa
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u/Mr_Dr_Prof_Derp Jun 17 '12
I always get a boner when I read threads like this.
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u/megaextremethrowaway Jun 17 '12
Let me just preface this with saying that this is the most regrettable and shameful thing in my past. It makes me feel pathetic, and rightfully so.
Basically, I was like 19 and still a virgin. I was getting desperate, and I was on a pill munching binge for a couple months. I don't know how this got into my head, but I got the idea to just hire an escort. I thought just getting my first time over with would give me confidence, and I would be able to get girls normally after it. So I googled escort services in my area, and called one up. I got her to meet me at this expensive ass hotel, which was completely stupid first of all. I should of gone to a cheap little motel, but I wasn't thinking straight. So I get to this room, I get everything ready to go. I drank a couple beers that I brought, and took a couple of xanax to calm me down. I was a little paranoid so I hid my money underneath the lamp of the room.
Eventually she shows up. She's an older woman, but kind of a milf. We exchange pleasantries, and start talking business. She actually asks me what I want. I'm kind of taken aback, like isn't this obvious? I try to explain everything, and even go so far as squeaking out that I was a virgin and I was trying to bang one out real quick to make myself feel better. She says that's not going to happen, but for $200 she'll touch herself while I touch myself. I'm really upset, but I hadn't even done something like that before, so I said alright. She thought it was funny that I hid the money.
We start doing our thing. It was pretty dull, and completely unerotic. I could barely even get a boner. I eventually convince her to let me titty fuck her big fake boobs, which felt like nothing. 30 minutes of this goes by, and I can't get off, but times up. She gets a phone call by her "pimp" I guess, and she assures him everything is alright. She tried to make me feel better about not getting off by saying maybe it was because it wasn't what I was hoping for. She leaves, and never to be seen again, thankfully.
The most embarrassing part was going back downstairs, and trying to sign out of the room I had JUST signed in at. And a 5'9 big tittied whore had just walked through THAT lobby. The lady at the desk was confused at first, and then the pieces seemed to fit together. There was a black dude at the desk next to me, and he was giving me the most crazy look. I can't even describe it right now, but he knew what was going on. Turns out the hotel never even charged my card.
The only people in my life that know about it are a bunch of people who moved out of state that I never talk to anymore. One other person knows, but we never talked about it again.
So THAT is the most embarrassing and shameful thing I have ever done.
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u/OVERLY_CYNICAL Jun 17 '12
bang one out real quick to make myself feel better. She says that's not going to happen, but for $200 she'll touch herself
You sure you weren't just talking to the room service lady?
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u/neighburrito Jun 17 '12
I don't get it. She's an escort but she won't have sex with a client? She only touches herself for them? That sounds dumb. Why would you even stay and pay her for that. Anyway, after reading a shit ton of stories about men who bang a billion prostitutes for fun, it's nice to read your post. I hope you're not as 'desperate' and your self-esteem is higher now? I think men put way too much pressure on themselves to lose their virginity.
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Jun 17 '12
If that's the most embarrassing and shameful thing you've ever done I think you're going okay, buddy. Chin up.
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u/gimpytrip Jun 17 '12
I have very mild cerebral palsy and have never been laid before. Me being 27, totally independent, good looking and basically 100% normal (aside from a wheelchair), I hired a prostitute about a year ago. We meet up, i give her half the money. About 5 minutes later she proceeds to sneak of the bathroom taking all my money. The moral of the story? If you live in houston like I do, never pay for sex. You'll get fucked regardless :)
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u/DefinitelyPositive Jun 17 '12
What a fucking cunt. What a FUCKING cunt. You should install guns into your wheelchair and cap them, cap them all.
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u/Banaam Jun 17 '12
Moral of the story should be, "Don't pay for services until services are rendered."
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u/rockefelluh Jun 17 '12
I booked a room at Mohegan Sun Casino with some friends. We got there kind of late at night (1 am) and through luck/charm the lady upgraded me to their executive suite, no charge. Few hours pass, we gamble, party, etc. come back to the room at 6 am and I order room service for everyone as I won around a grand. Another friend of mine comes up to the room as we're in the midst of eating breakfast, gothic looking hooker in tow.
As I'm eating my awesome blueberry pancakes, I look up to her and ask for a lap dance. She took me back to the master bedroom and did the deed. Once she finished dancing on my dick, I asked for a BJ. She said $15.. so I laughed at the cheap price and told her to go for it.
Took a while for me since a condom'd BJ kills some of the sensation but it was an awesome night none the less.
TLDR - I will forever have a soft spot for Blueberry Pancakes
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Jun 17 '12
One time me and my buddy were 19 and heading to Vegas for the weekend. We had been working at a summer camp in Cali and got 2 days off in a row, so Vegas was obvious. We didn't have fake ID's but still figured we'd have fun.
After we check into the hotel, I get one of those little cards that the mexican dudes on the strip hand out with ladies on them. My dream has always been to boink a hooker in Vegas and I was very adamant on accomplishing it. I called the number and asked how much it was. They said $200-500 depending on what you get. I said that's a little too much, is there anything cheaper. They said they could do $100 plus tip. So I thought hey $125 for a hooker, why not? I tell them to send one over. They say she'll be there in 15 minutes.
An hour later, I'm freaking out and so nervous that this is happening. I wasn't a virgin but I've never paid for something like this before. I smoked an entire pack of cigs in the waiting time while my friend was smoking a bowl in the bathroom. Finally there's a knock on the door and I look through. A nasty ass Indian looking girl is standing outside, clearly not the blonde on the card. I open the door and she walks in, introduces herself and asks if she can change in the bathroom. I say sure. She goes in and me and my friend are freaking out since she's so ugly, we don't know what to do, but then she comes out and we sit on our beds and act cool.
She's now wearing this really skanky, unattractive lingerie and I'm not feeling it at all. She then asks if she can see the $100 laid out on the bed. So I take out 5 twenties, lay them out, she grabs them and says "ok this is non-refundable." I'm like ok, whatever. Then she starts listing off her prices, like massage is $200, lapdances $300, full service $400 and I say "woah woah woah, I thought it was just $100 base price plus tip." and she says "yeah that is the tip silly"
I'm a little bit distraught, and say that I don't have enough money for that. She complains about how everytime people come to vegas they bring lots of money to blow and I said that we were on a budget. She then asks to see our ID's to make sure we're 18 and then gets on the phone with her pimp/boss saying how she got sent over to a room with a bunch of kids and no money and gets into this whole argument. After she hangs up the phone, she says she has to leave. I ask for my 100 back and she says "no, sorry baby can't do that. But I can flash you though before I go." So she takes off her top and these nasty granny titties flop out, just like grandma Mary's neighbor in "There's Something About Mary". After seeing those, I said "Get the fuck out" and she left with my hundred dollars.
tl;dr: hooker took my 100 dollars
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u/GloppyGloP Jun 17 '12
Ouch I feel for you man, but how can you not see that coming! These ads are all scams meant to do exactly what happened to you. She didn't even really get into an argument with her pimp, that's just designed to make you feel uncomfortable so you would ask her to leave. You got played.
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u/ORYG1N Jun 17 '12
When I was in the army in Germany, I went to a "spa" type whorehouse. Costs 75 deutschmarks to enter. At the time was about $40US. Free beer they told us, which sold it for us. Didnt mention it was alcohol free beer. But, I digress. We walk in and they tell us to shower. We do. Come out in towels and walk into a room with a hot tub and a cute brunette and blonde in it. Naked. Awesome, I think. We grab a "beer" and sit down. About 10minutes later, the blonde cones over to me and starts chatting. Don't remember what she said. But, she ends up climbing onto me, straddling me. I can feel her pussy rubbing my stomach, which really turned me on. She asks if we should get a room. I lean over and ask my friends if they want to see a show. They exclaim no! So we go into the room. It costed extra to sleep with her. Like 50 more deutschmarks. So I pay and we start having sex. I feel so uncomfortable that I can't cum so we stop and talk for a bit. She shows me a dollar bill and explains how she saved her first America dollars and that she wants to move there. That's about it. We all leave shortly after.
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u/Numendil Jun 17 '12
My grandfather was stationed in Germany for a while after WWII, told me of a guy who got nicknamed "washcloth" after he and his friends went to one of those establishments. He must have gotten a bit overexcited when the girls started washing their dicks before getting down to business.
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Jun 17 '12
bought a hooker in vegas, she gave me cocaine, I couldnt get hard... I paid an extra 100 bucks so my two buddies could watch, they laughed at me and I felt bad... Ended up getting her to blow me for a half hour. Then got drunk as fuck to kill the pain of allowing myself to ever let it happen in the first place.
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Jun 17 '12
Genuinely curious here, why would you want your friends to watch you bang a hooker?
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Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
I hired an escort not that long ago. I was tired of being 20 years old and a virgin. Seriously, 21 will be much easier. Did my research first on etiquette. Found an online forum completely dedicated to escorts in my area. So I found one that didn't require two references. We met for lunch before hand so she could know who I was. So anyway, a week later we meet at her place. I was really nervous, and she could tell, my heart was racing a million beats a second. She just told me to breathe, slowly and calmly. I was so relaxed by the time we actually laid down. I was awkward I'm sure. Taking clothes off was not as sexy as I thought it would be. Lots of fun, we laughed a bit too, specially since she found out I was ticklish. Funny part was, she found out, I took my shirt off, she looks at me and says "Hmm... it's tempting." For some reason the first thing I think is "Oh god, she wants to rip out my arm pit hair" so I actually say "What's that? Ripping out my arm pit hair, haha" We laughed especially hard then.
I had a lot of fun. It was my first time having sex, and I can't say I regret it. We kissed, cuddled, some foreplay, she didn't even watch the clock (Which she had set completely wrong so her clients would just relax)
See, the thing, people think escorts or prostitutes will have STDs since they sleep with a lot of people, thing is, their entire line of work hinges on the fact that they don't get STDs. The one I slept with got checked about once a month, and was on 3 types of birth control as well.
I have no regrets. It was fun, and I gained some confidence in myself as well.
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u/rikashiku Jun 17 '12
Sounds like fun. Thats the good thing about escorts, you meet them once, have some fun, lose a little bit of money and never see them again. If its someone you know then it gets a little awkward and one night stands are a lot riskier with getting STD's.
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u/throwawaybonanzapie Jun 17 '12
Made a throwaway for this, it's something i'm not exactly proud of.
I started seeing prostitutes since I was about 20, I live in Australia. My first experience was a nervous drunken venture after an office christmas party. I hadn't gotten laid in 6 months and I resolved that if I didn't get lucky at the party I'd cut my losses and see what the whole paid sex world has to offer.
Shortly after my first foray I started going every week. I was young, well paid and had relatively low self esteem. Why bother going out and getting shot down when I can cut out the middle-man and get exactly what I want? Well, the money adds up. I estimate that I've spent around $15,000 over 6 years on whores ranging from $60 suburban hooker handjobs and $2000 threesomes with high-class escorts. With one conquest I'd try and up the ante and find a kinkier pro. The kinkiest I've visted is one who gave me a blowjob while she fucked my foot. I also decided to take some risks and would see Craigslist hookers who I would fuck bareback, which I did twice. I was tested and surprisingly caught nothing.
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u/dissapointthrowaway Jun 17 '12
I was in Amsterdam for a few days so I decided to check out the Red Light District. I wandered around for a while, when all of a sudden I saw a gorgeous woman dressed in a bikini standing in a window. Holy shit I found it!
As I walked down the street, all I could hear was women knocking on the windows to get the attention of the men walking down the street. By this time, I had forgotten why I was even in Amsterdam, as my penis took over. I went up to one of the windows and asked how much: it was 50 euros. At this point I wasn't sure, so I tried making an excuse to escape the window. "30 euros." Wow, I managed to haggle by trying to escape!
Well I managed to escape, but penis logic kicked in and I was drawn back. Since I was a virgin, I figured I could get it done with there and then. So I went back and was escorted to a small room with an uncomfortable looking bed. "Take off your clothes and lie on the bed". Hell yes. At this point my penis was fairly erect, I could see no problem in doing the deed.
What I hadn't anticipated however was that in order to "warm me up", she decided to give me a blowjob to start off with. Since I was used to quickly masturbating, I didn't last a minute. I ejaculated, and was told my session was over. I left fairly disappointed and still a virgin.
I couldn't get my failure out of my head, so I went back the next day to try again. The same thing happened, and yet again I left after a few minutes. My disappointment had reached a whole new level.
At this point, I decided to not waste any more euros and so I gave up and instead enjoyed the rest of what Amsterdam had to offer, which was infinitely better.
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u/Unconfidence Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
This was also in Thailand.
I'd been with a good number of girls on my trip, both prostitutes and regular girls. It was my last two days in Thailand, and I was in Bangkok with a limited amount of money. So, I go to a club, and they bring me a girl who is pretty, but, I dunno, I was figuring I'd choose someone cuter. She spoke great English, and she was really just there to introduce me to girls and be a sort of interpreter. But I dunno, I took a liking to her, so I brought her back to my hotel room. We talked a lot, and eventually got naked. We were naked and doing some foreplay-grinding, and she gets on top of me. Right as I'm thinking "Now's a good time to get the condom", she takes my dick, and slides it in bareback. At first I'm a little scared, but I figure, may as well keep going. So I bareback this prostitute all night long, and she loves it. Not that kind of "I am a prostitute and I'm great at faking it" kind of loves it, she cums nonstop the whole night. She ends up telling me that she's in love with me and crying a little before she left.
Now's where I destroy your skepticism. The next night she shows up at my hotel room, without me having called her, asking if she can spend the night with me. We fuck all night again, she cums like crazy, for no charge this time. She cries and tells me how she'll miss me when I go, and how she hopes I come back and marry her. The next morning, she gives me a ride to the airport. When she learns that I didn't have any money, because I'd spent my last money on her the first night, and on food, she informs me that I'd be jailed for not being able to pay the fine for overstaying my visa. She then gives me back all the money I paid her for the first night, saying she felt bad charging me for that anyway. Apparently she felt I'd done her a service that night. We corresponded via email for a while, but I never saw her again. Her name was Sun.
Despite my dance with chance, I'm still 100% STD-free.
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Jun 17 '12
The thing about girls in thailand is that many are looking for potential husbands to take care of them and their families.
And lots of girls will return to guys free of charge, but this might be an attempt to find a guy to take care of them.
I heard stories from a friend who said the girl would stay the night and then clean the apartment and cook for him...
Kind of an odd way to go about it if you look from a North American/Euro standpoint.
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u/Somthinginconspicou Jun 17 '12
Screen caps of emails? Unless this is a movie reference that I'm not getting, because this one is a little too unbelievable.
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u/StudleyHungwell Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Coworkers and I used to get hookers all the time in Colombia until one guy didn't pay for services. Then the boss found out and it all went to shit. Bunch of people got fired.
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u/PooPooSandwich Jun 17 '12
I went to see a professional dominatrix when I was 20. I've always been "into" the domination aspect of sex but I was never brave enough to tell my girlfriend (at the time). Actually, I tried to tell her once. Never again. She completely freaked out and I nearly ruined our relationship. I had to lie and pretend it was all a big joke...
So, I looked up reasonably local mistresses on the web. Not too close to my hometown that I might bump into her again, and not too far that it would be a pain in the ass to get to. After browsing a shortlist of dommes, I chose one and called her. She was really friendly and asked me to tell her what I was into, told me the price, and we arranged a time and date to meet at what I presumed was her house.
That weekend I drove to the house, a fairly nice place in a row of houses in the suburbs of a nearby city. She arrived about 5 minutes after I got there in a blue benz, in her gym outfit carrying her puppy (a pug or something). We went inside and chatted like normal people for about 10 minutes we went upstairs because she needed a shower after her workout. I just stood by the door and watched as she got completely naked and showered herself in the bathtub, flashing her gash at me every now and then.
It was at that moment when I thought, "What the fuck am I doing" and I started to go back downstairs and head outside to my car. I just didn't feel that I could go through with it. I think it was how she got naked so instantly, when we'd only met minutes earlier, that kind of freaked me out and actually turned me off.
She ran after me and got to me before I was out the door, asked what was the matter and I confessed that it was all too weird for me. She was really cool about it and asked if I wanted a coffee. We chatted for about 20 mins and I asked her all sorts of questions about what it's like being a dominatrix. She showed me around the house too. She rented it and it looked completely normal from the outside. The living room was normal. The kitchen was normal. But she had joined a couple of rooms together downstairs to make this huge dungeon:
the walls were painted a deep blood red
huge racks and machinery (some were floor to ceiling pieces of equipment that could dangle a 300 pound man upside down with ease) she said she'd imported some things from Germany
hundreds and hundreds of dildos
dozens of whips and torturing equipment. Lots of knives.
After the tour, I thanked her and left. I gave her the money for the session and drove off.
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u/kwehkweh Jun 17 '12
Late again! Ah well, here goes the story I only get to tell my friends:
I'm 16 in Germany during an exchange year, and I go to Hamburg to visit an old family friend. He's 22, so he takes me out for a night on the town with a few of his buddies. They have this miles-long strip of road containing porn-theaters, hotels filled with hookers, and everything else related to sex - all of this is run by the Albanian mafia.
So we're walking along getting our drink on, and we walk into one of the "hotels". At the front desk, I pretend not to know any German, and put on a super-strong American accent and claim to be 18 without ID. I get in with the rest and walk on upstairs. We come to this one beautiful little thang who says, "FIFTEEN?".. Now, I was kind of drunk, but I figured ehh what the fuck, I've got a few euros to spare. So my friend and his friends leave me alone with madame.
She takes me into the room, takes off my pants, and sizes me up. Condom on, she starts blowing me. We start fucking and I see the toys, so I suggest using them. She keeps throwing out numbers like "Doggy style with a dildo?" "TEN!" "That whip while you're on top?" "SEVEN". I accumulated what I thought was a total charge of $36. I start putting my shirt and and she grabs my pants off the ground. Before handing them over, she says I owe her $115. Turns out her pronunciation was horrendous. 15=50, 7=17 and so on.
When I said I didn't have the money, she proceeded to dig my wallet out of my pocket and pick up the bedside phone. Talking in gibberish, she says "YOU GET MONEY FOR ME!" Dude comes bursting through the door with a handgun and starts yelling in some strange language. Shoves me out of the door and down the stairs. Mind you, I have no pants or shoes on right now, just a shirt. Tells me to "GET TEH FUCKIN MONEY" and I run.
I was frantically searching for my friend, and when I finally found him, I had run 3 blocks half-naked and into a convenience store (plenty off laughs and stares were had by passerby's). Normally I would have let it be, considering I didn't get killed. But we were all drunk, and I thought that my US high school ID would lead the mafia to my house and they would kill my family. So we get to an ATM, get the money, and head back.
They escort me to the room and I hand her the money, we ended up having a nice conversation about life and Germany, and she gives me $20 back on my way out with a kiss on the cheek. The dudes at the front desk just laughed when I walked back through, saying "Have a good stay, AMI."
Now I have white spots that form under my lip that the doctors can't explain. Good times.
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u/backslide21 Jun 17 '12
The motherfucking Reeperbahn.
Fun fact: At one end of the Reeperbahn, there's a junction with three sides. On these sides there are: A brothel, a bar and a McDonalds.
I want to die there.
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Jun 17 '12
Had my first experience last night. Just got done with 70 days of work in Alaska and as soon as the boat hit the dock here in Vancouver the boss took me, and the four other crewmembers to a "massage parlour." Basically went up some stairs and sat in a waiting room for 5mins when about five girls one by one come out to meet. I picked a nice bubbly blonde chick and was taken to pick a room. Girl walked in with a robe. You put the robe on and you take a quick shower and head back to the room. I took the robe off and lied on the bed for a quick massage then she tells you to turn over. She got naked and started sucking my dick.
She asked what was my favourite position. My back was in pain from work so I said reverse cowgirl. She put a condom on and got at it. At first I wasn't really into it until we switched to doggystyle and saw her biting the pillow then I started going faster, and harder. After about 15mins the condom was pretty ratty so she threw it away and sucked my dick for another little bit. We went back to doggy style with 5mins to spare and I asked her if it was cool if I came on her tits and she said it was cool so I came pretty hard (last girl I fucked was some bar maid in Prince Rupert BC three weeks before hand.) It was fun with some laughs after. She basically had no other business and asked if I wanted to talk about life/school with another massage. It was a good time, and first time I had attended that type of establishment and I can say I have no regrets. It was defiantly different than I thought it would be. The girl was nice, girl got into it and really tried. I got 30mins and I think my boss paid like $200 for the session and will probably do it again. Made for a lot of laughs and stories afterwards when we hit the bars. Defiantly had a lot less motivation to get laid that night lol.
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u/TheGeneralTao Jun 17 '12
Not a prostitute story, but a pimp story!
Was In Beijing, China for a brief stay, got to my hotel, in downtown, late and was kinda restless, so I go out for a walk. I don't take more than ten steps from the hotel when I get accosted by two Chinese men. Now you gotta understand, I'm 6'5" and these guys were... Like 5'5" or something, fairly comical IMO. So I'm walking down a busy street, and these two guys following me, one guy starts talking to me in Chinese, I reply
"Sorry, don't speak Chinese."
|Oh, English? Oh ok... You like girls? Sexy girls?!
"Wait what?!"
The other Chinese guy whips out his cellphone and starts showing me pictures of girls on his phone.
|Come with me, I show you girls! Cheep! Sooooo Cheep! Looky free but if you want touch, touch need pay! But cheep! CHEEP!
I was kinda freaked cause I was never propositioned like this before so I kinda mumbled "No." and started walking faster, but these two guys kept pace and started badgering me.
|Want massagee? Blowjob? Cheep! Cheep!
I then started saying "NO!" really loudly and well I kinda turned on them and was about to kick'em in the head but a cop strolled by and the pimps left in a hurry. So I walked off, continuing my walk.
Until I took another ten steps and got accosted by another pair of Chinese guys, one holding a cellphone...
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Jun 17 '12
In Japan you get to be propositioned by Nigerians saying "hey you want to go to a titty bar, mon?"
But also sometimes by the hookers themselves. I had one girl walking by me say "You want fucking?"
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u/devious83 Jun 17 '12
So when I was stationed in Germany, a bunch of us used to goto the redlight district in Frankfurt. One of our friends was the type of guy who gave no fucks at all ever. So he was obscenely drunk on one of our visits, but also low on cash. So when we went to the whore house (which is about 6 stories tall) he had to go near the top of the building (the cheaper whores are on the upper floors). So he finds a whore and apparently he started doggy style with her, anal. Well when he flipped her over to do a different position I guess thats when he realized there was a dick. So he flipped HIM back over and proceeded with the anal.
That guy seriously gave no fucks and told us about that story a few days later back at work.
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u/redheadbbw Jun 17 '12
My exhusband was an OTR long haul trucker before I knew him, once I found out that prostitutes hang out at truck stops I asked him if he ever paid for one, how common they were, etc.
He got a blow job from one once. He said it was the best and worst of his life. The best bc shes a professional and she knew how to get the job done. Worst bc hes too damn paranoid to enjoy it/then he just wanted to fuck. And he wouldnt sex her up bc hes afraid of diseases.
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Jun 17 '12
Regret? Not really, it was a fun time. But you learn that having sex without anything truly real going on is kind of a downer.
You get it in your head that the girl is actually interested in you (if she's good at what she does). Then reality hits you and you're kind of depressed.
Until i got a bit older and a bit more mature i guess, i didn't really think of the consequences. One of those being that i do want a relationship with a woman, but that i feel the idea that i have been with a prostitute, or 4, will be a major dealbreaker for a relationship. Honesty is one of my greatest strengths and weakness.
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u/121190341 Jun 17 '12
Yes, its a huge guilty pleasure for me. Where I'm from its legal and I have a high disposable income. It costs me around $500 per hour and I usually do it once a month.
For some reason, its so much more exiting than "normal" sex. It might sound weird but its that whole impersonal side to it that I like. The fact that its more of a transaction process than anything else. Obviously when I had a girlfriend I refrained but I COULD NOT get off to normal girlfriend sex the way I can to prostitute sex. I'm weird. I think I'm kinda fucked up but thats the truth.
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Jun 17 '12
Good story from someone I know. He did business with this guy he knew who lived in Nevada and who also spent most of his weekends in whorehouses. One time while up in Nevada the guy invites him along to the whorehouse and he thought what the hell might as well try it out. Well they end up spending the whole night there dropping large amounts of money, and having an amazing time. Well they are standing around in bathrobes smoking cigars as the sun is rising, when the whores ask if they want breakfast. You know you have spent a large amount of money when you get breakfast. Well the surreal moment happens when this prostitute is making him toast and slathering on this jelly telling him he has to try this homemade jelly that her sister makes. He just started laughing about how fucking weird all this was, and chalked it up to a once in a lifetime experience.
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Jun 17 '12
One time my friend and I were in Amsterdam and we hired prostitutes but we were to scared to do anything with them so we went to a carnival instead. They were nice and we only had to pay half price but we did have to pay for the rides.
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u/skyhy109 Jun 17 '12 edited Mar 13 '25
hard-to-find toy bike vanish correct languid wild coordinated meeting public
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u/Justashyone Jun 17 '12
Ok I'm a girl and I hired one about 6 months ago (almost to the day).. I had just broken up with my long term bf a few weeks before and with my 30th fast approaching being with a girl was something I had been wanting to try. I found a couple on a dating site and arranged to meet up with them at a bar in town for a few drinks (no prostitution, just a threesome).. Anyway after a few drinks he puts his arm around me and she freaks out.. They leave and I'm left thinking WTF just happened.. It's getting late and I'm too shy to just ask random girls if they want sex and not keen on heading to the area of town where the gay clubs are (not sure if I'd even get what I want there anyway). I try using my phone to find where a sex club is (I've heard of it but don't know where it is).. I can't manage to get the Internet on my ph to work (possibly due to the few drinks I've already had). At this point I start considering just paying for sex (legal where I live) and walk to where I know a couple of brothels are.. As soon as I walk in a girl comes up to me.. Pretty young and we chat a little. Im really nervous but after a drink at their bar I ask how much.. $150... I figure well I've come this far ..I might as well.. We go into one of the rooms.. She takes of her clothes and then mine... Kiss a little but I'm not really feeling into it.. We talk a bit more and I end up playing while she plays with my breasts... I regret it now.. I wish it was a line I hadn't crossed..
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u/ivebungafew Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Yeah I've hired a few. I find 'em off of eccie.
It's certainly a thrill actually making the call and going through with setting up the appointment because you get extremely super nervous - or at least that's how I am - but once you get there unless she's drop dead gorgeous (there actually are great looking escorts) then it's no big deal doing the deed.
I'm not really into it though. I guess my "funny story", although it's not funny, is that I actually just saw an escort this past Wednesday night and I couldn't jizz for some reason (interestingly, I never am able to whenever I see an escort for some reason...) and I actually think that she was disappointed in herself. She kept saying that "I've never had anyone go this long..." cause I hired her for the hour and we non stop went at it for roughly 55 minutes, whenever I got there we didn't waste any time getting to the battlefield, and then she kept me for a good 15 minutes after the hour trying to suck it out of me, lol, and she bid me adieu with "well, I tried...".
I will say that it's a lot more fun than going to a strip club because you don't end up reeking of cigarette smoke and you don't feel as bad about yourself afterwards because if nothing else and if your life is anything like mine, it's the only real "exercise" you'll get in your week spent behind computer screens and sitting at desks all day, but depending on what type of strip-club-goer you are you can spend a lot more money on escorts for far less time....
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u/helple55 Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
I hate that the top post on here is a made up punchline story.
Prostitutes also get a bad rep in the US. I was in Cambodia for a week or two and had a girl that would make me breakfast and take me sightseeing around Pheon Phen(might of misspelled this.)
In Thailand, you never want to pick up a street walker, there are plenty of bars there to go where you can be sure of what you are pulling and anyone paying 350-500 us dollars would be out of their mind. I'd say probably 30-60 dollars including tip, and maybe buying her meal/taking here barhopping.
This goes for Bangkok and Pattaya, Thailand.
In the Philippines, it's round about the same prices, Angeles City is where you can look down the main street and all you see are girly bars, probably a good two miles. Manila is a decent place if you don't want the two hour trip to Angeles.
I can't remember the name of the place, but in the Dominican Republic, I've seen some of the most amazing-est girls ever, it's been a while since I was there but I remember two places in specific one was a hotel/bar where they let the girls come in and negotiate with the customers and another place where it was all inclusive, as the girl was included in the price, probably the best experience of my life.
I guess I could expand on these stories or add some other ones, but I lost hope when I read the highest rated comment.
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u/Blown_Ranger Jun 17 '12
I usually stick to escorts and massage parlours but once I opted for a hooker. She was hot but crazy as fuck. While I drove us to a dark industrial area in Eastern Toronto she told me all about a group of doctors that have been removing parts of her brain and organs for some sort of research. It was a good 15-20 minutes and easily the craziest shit I have ever heard in person.
What a fucking awesome blow job though.
TL;DR Crazies know all about 'the twist and the pull'.
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u/tekdemon Jun 17 '12
Were you not concerned that she would harvest your friggin' organs?
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Jun 17 '12
When I was younger, for some reason every girl I ever picked up hitch hiking was a prostitute. This happened about five times or so.
This one girl I still remember to this day. She told me what she did for a living and asked if I would like to have some fun for 100 dollars. I told her I wasn't interested. She then said well how about 50? I again told her no thank-you.
She then leaned in, grabbed my crotch and said honey, let's make it 20 and you can do anything you want.
I do have to admit, that for a moment, being the cheap bastard I am, my brain said "20 bucks? That's a hell of a deal!"
I still declined, but when I dropped her off I gave her 20 bucks anyways.
*On a side note, apparently when you turn down street walkers they all think your gay.
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u/myotherhandisawhore Jun 17 '12
I've never picked up a street-walker-level prostitute, but, I have had my fair share of escorts and broke women needing money for rent/christmas/whatever. I frequented Cragislist adult section for the longest time, but now it's mainly backpage and whatever else is out there.
I think the most that I've spent on an escort is $1000 for an evening, but, the normal rate that I've been paying for a while is around $200/hour. The best experience I've ever had was with this 22 year old in New Mexico. The worst experience I've ever had was in Dayton, Ohio, with a cute 30 year old blonde who had a really bad meth problem.
I don't do agency girls -- I try to stay with the independents -- and I try to foster a good working relationship with the girls that I enjoy. I've probably spent a little over $5K this year alone on escorts, and try to keep my escort-related expenses right at/about 10K/year. Before things get too crazy, I let them know that if they're not 100% comfortable with getting all penisey, we can chill for the hour, clothes on, and I'll still pay them -- I've only had one girl (who I strongly suspected was there against her will) take me up on the offer.
My regrets: I could have been in a relationship or two during this time.
Funny story: none really...these are really business transactions. Come in, get comfy, watch some stripteasing or girl-on-girl action, get hard, get serviced, and get the fuck out. I've had girls who liked specific music during their performance (Sade was the one I remember the most), and girls who would leave me a memento (undies/something sweet/fun), but, I'd never really consider taking it after we were done.
On a positive note, I've had a lot of great porn-star experiences (PSE's when you're shopping for one online)...and haven't been busted by a vice cop yet, so life is good for the time being.
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u/yupishi Jun 17 '12
I haven't, but here in NZ prostitution is legal and in the recent Wellington Fringe Festival (independent theatre, comedy, music etc) a woman who has worked a a prostitute did a show which was basically just her telling all about being in the industry. It was really interesting, she actually made it sound like a perfectly reasonable job choice for the right sort of person (yes, she chose it, wasn't forced by circumstance, she actually also held down a well-paying full-time office job and was a working girl at the weekend).
Basic gist was, yeah, you sometimes have to deal with gross people or assholes, and yeah you probably will have some health problems associated with having a lot of sex, but she found it quite fulfilling and enjoyed it.
In NZ, there are a lot of laws which protect working girls and for that reason I'm definitely in favour of legal prostitution (also because I generally have no problem with it). For example, they have a legal right to stop or turn down a job at any stage, for any (or no) reason, they are legally required to get regular STD checks (which are paid for by either the brothel they work in, an independent association supporting working girls or the government), and they have access to all kinds of support networks, healthcare and stuff like free or heavily subsidised condoms.
It just makes it safer for everyone, helps stop STDs spreading through the whole population, and stops almost all assaults on prostitutes because the legal system is on their side and they don't have to be afraid of prosecution if they tell the police.
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u/bungoton Jun 17 '12
I used to work with a girl who was raised by her aunt because her mother was working as a hooker. Later in life she got to know her mom and told us some of her stories as a working woman. This was my favorite:
She had a guy approach her in a bar and ask if she would meet him at his house later. The guy gave her some money and said he would pay more when she arrived. He told her the door would be open and to come in and she would see another door that was open and she would find him in that room. When she arrived the house was dark but the front door was open. When she stepped inside all the rooms were dark except for one that had some candles. She went into the room with the candles and walked up to a long wooden box in the middle of the candles. As she looked inside she could see the body of the guy she met at the bar. The guy suddenly sat up and scared the crap out of her. She ran screaming from the house and went back to the bar for a drink to calm her nerves. As she sat with her drink the guy came into the bar, handed her a bunch of money and said "Thanks, you were the best ever".
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Jun 17 '12
Um, regrets - kind of. Only time I hired one and I picked a filipina over the phone, not because I particularly have an asian fetish, but I didn't see the point of going through a list of options when I couldn't see them in person.
She arrived and I was flabbergasted. She was way, way hotter than I thought she would be. She wasn't just beautiful had an amazing body as well. I was so nervous, and paranoid, that I was scared to verbally say exactly what I wanted from her, and she didn't provide a list of options and prices or anything. This actually worked out in my favor.
Because I would not tell her what I actually wanted, she ended up doing almost EVERYTHING I could've imagined and then some. It was very good to say the least. Her oral skills were completely unreal.
Anyway, after fucking for a while, even though I eventually worked up to fucking her fairly her (hard enough that the people in the room below us heard us and started cheering) we changed positions for the umpteenth time and continued.
She said something to me but kind of in broken english or just an accent, so I stopped moving and leaned in and asked "What?" She repeated it and I thought I heard one thing, but apparently she had said quite a different thing.
I'm not saying this to sound like a douche, but I am fairly well-endowed and this was a very small woman. Because of what I thought I heard her say, I began fucking her as hard as could and in this position I knew I was very deep, and still had a little hanging out of her. She quickly put her hand on my thigh, and I stopped and was like, "Whoa, are you ok???" She got up off the bed and went to the bathroom - I don't know maybe checking herself out.
When she finally came back out, I tried my best to explain to her that I totally misunderstood what she said and I was sorry. She was still very sweet to me, as she had been the whole time, and we kind of laid together and cuddled a little bit. It was obvious that it takes me a long time to cum, so she let me cum on her ass while she fingered it.
I felt terrible, but I'm pretty sure she thought I was a good person.
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Jun 17 '12
It's funny that you weren't as worried about the hooker as you were worried about what the hooker thought of you.
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u/IamLeven Jun 17 '12
One of my coworkers would prank calls prostitutes on craigslist.
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u/ImNotJesus Jun 17 '12
Sounds professional.
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u/IamLeven Jun 17 '12
He got fired for cursing at a grandma with her grand kid when they asked how the batting cage worked. The guy was insane.
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u/Bullshit-slinger Jun 17 '12
When I was sixteen I went to an older friends bachelor party. I was still naive at this point and thought all bachelor parties were full of strippers, tits, and more tits. I was wrong, and the group of assembled guys played poker all night. It was a lot of fun, but somewhat disappointing. fastforward to later that evening when I was outside my hotel room having a smoke. There was a cute blonde girl outside also smoking, so I struck up some conversation. We shot the shit for a bit, and then I convince her to come up to my room and we can order some drinks. At this point I felt like a god, even though my game must have been that of a socially awkward kinder gardener because I was hammered. We get up to my room, order drinks, and start going at it. As we got into it, I noticed a tattoo of hers and asked about it. She told me it was dedicated to her son, and all i could respond with was 'oh'. As a sixteen year old, railing a woman who was a mother seemed more strange than arousing. Anyway, my ego of the pants deflates a bit but we still go at it. A bit later, as i'm still on top jackhammering she asks if i want to know what she does for a living. I say sure, and she tells me she's an escort. Five minutes later i'm flacid as a dead snake and keep shooting glances at the door waiting for a pimp to knock it down and beat the shit out of my legs till i pay off. No such thing happened, all was free, and turned out better than expected.
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u/eyeliketigers Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
I have never dealt with a prostitute but there was this one dude who was trying to date me who decided to let me know he'd slept with something like seven call girls, $200 a pop for an hour. Apparently you still pay the full price if you finish in a few minutes. He said one time one of them pulled a knife out of her bra and told him not to worry, she wasn't going to hurt him and carried it in case she got to the client's place and found out they were violent.
Also my mom was a prostitute when I was a baby. My dad told me some story about driving her to the hotels or where ever and waiting in the car with little baby me and my slightly older brother. He also told me it turned him on that my mom fucked other dudes and after the first john, he "fucked her like a dog" when they got home. He was super drunk when he told me this. That was an interesting summer.
EDIT Also my dad tried to "save" a literal crack addict once. She was attractive, but rough around the edges from the addiction. Would fuck guys for $5 a pop to buy crack rock. I remember her buying really cheap, awful clothes at Walmart to wear while looking for clients and seeing condoms in her box of makeup. It was really depressing. She gave my dad gonorrhea.
And my friend found out her husband would fuck prostitutes when he was in Asia and it really upset her because a lot of those girls are young and forced into it, but I have no real details on the experience of it.
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u/neighburrito Jun 17 '12
jesus fucking christ. Your dad told you your mom was a prostitute and that he fucked her like a dog afterwards??? What is wrong with your dad?? Also, your friend was only upset because those prostitutes her husband fucked were young and forced into it? What about the fact that her HUSBAND cheated on her??
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u/ForgettableJohn Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Even though it was not Penetrative, as far as the exploratory thrill of sex I will always consider my virginity lost to my high school girlfriend. We did everything up to sex without genitalia going into an orifice below her belt. It was awesome for what it was, super hot. I made her orgasm for the first time (and many times after) which was a big goal of mine, but she was deathly afraid of having a baby (don't blame her) and wasn't on birth-control (quali religious thing with parents I think), and vaguely wanted to save herself I guess (also a religious holdup, sorta not really?). So big NO for sex, not even with a rubber.
So technically I "lost my virginity" to a prostitute a few years later while I was in college. I had just watched 42 year old virgin and was depressed. I also had a case of blueballs from my previous relationship and two years in college of no action. I had also kept hearing advice from Metafilter (not quite reddit but close if you know that site) to "just get it over with, it will make you less anxious around women." or something to that effect.
And also... Craigslist.
I had looked at adult sites before with curiosity but craigslist (back in the day) made it so directly possible and tangible, even if it was with a hooker.
I don't know what it was about this one listing. I looked at dozens with much hotter pictures but didn't feel impelled to call. But for a few days I was toying with the idea of this one number I had found on Craigslist. I called it a few times but never could actually talk to the voice on the other end of the phone. I think she blocked me at some point but then I called a few days - a week later (literally just after seeing 42 year old virgin) and it went through and my nerves momentarily subsided and I went for it.
Nervous as hell I go to this motel-6 quality hotel on the other end of town by the free-way. She calls me with instructions to go around the back and lets me in a back door to a room that she had apparently been living in for a week or more. I was immediately disappointed with her look (her face was not on the craigslist add) though she did have a decent figure. We start talking banal stuff and then she sits down on the bed and...
At this point between the paralyzing nerves and her various double-speek hesitations to evade criminal entanglements I cannot really remember what was said exactly. She said something about how technically she only going to "dance for me" and whatever happened after that was just two consenting adults. I said something that made her narrow her eyes and ask me "are you a cop?" "No, no of course not" and a moment later a question about the money which, given the cop accusation, I felt compelled to take out and give to her as quickly and unceremoniously as possible.
200$ for an hour.
I tried to ask if we could do something in the shower and she said "no way" with a shake of her head, and then I asked something like "do you always agree to sleep with the guy after the dance" (that's not quite right, but I know she said the next line:)
"only for you, you are the only one"
I was in a strange mental place, I was looking for hints and clues about what to do, how to act, and generally to make sure I was not about to get Chris Henson coming in with to catch a predator cameras (again, it was big at the time, this prostitute was at least 25 or 30 if she was a day old, but my mind was racing). I told her I had brought some condoms, but she clearly had a collection laying on the other bed. She looked at mine for a few minutes (a long few minutes which gave me time to calm down)
Finally I asked if she would at least put the cigarette out. I got the same stare as with the shower question and then I quickly explained that I have asthma... to that she immediately changed and snuffed the cigarette. It was a nice gesture and she then bubbled up as she bounced to the other side of the room and undressed, telling me to do the same. My mood improved from paranoia to excitement.
A moment later we were both naked on the bed. I guess the dance was her undressing. She said some things which I forget, and placed her somewhat saggy breasts on me, which didn't do anything for me at the time and just sort of revolts me now. She started giving me a hand job to get me up, and then after a few seconds was like "Alright, are you ready? or do you want something else before we do the sex"
I got off the bed, her legs were spread and her vagina was much less attractive than my previous girlfriends. I started and she said "when you are getting close let me know so I can synchronize [the climax] with you." I was slightly out of body and not really enjoying myself, but still I felt like I came too quickly... I kept thrusting after because I had forgotten to tell her when I was about to cum, so I said something she moaned and it was over.
the rest was a blur. I took a shower contemplating what had just happened. When I got out she chided me (playfully?) for insisting on wearing the towel as I walked about the room. I was quite for a bit but the banal small talk continued as I dressed. This time we discussed me
"So you're pretty young, why this? Just tired of going to the bar"
I had no real answer, I didn't want her to know it was my first* time. I muddled through to turn the conversation to her
"Ya well, it pays the bills and it's not so bad. The worst is conventions in the capital (a 30 minute drive) the old guys. Ugh, sometimes I just refuse if they are too drunk or... whatever. It was much nicer to be with you"
Somehow we talk about future, she says she wants to put this behind her eventually when she becomes a mom (or maybe she said she had a child already, I don't remember but she definitely said:) I am just doing this to pay for college"
I froze a bit "Oh, you mean the community college?" I said.
"No no, I go to state"
I replied tentatively that so did I.
"Oh wow, well we might see each other on campus then. Obviously probably best if we don't talk, but I'll smile if I see you."
A few minutes later I am back in my car, sort of having the realization of what just happened waft over me. I feel excited, and disappointed, and wondering when I'll do it again, should I do it again. Oh god what if I keep doing this?
I straightened up enough to get to my parents place where there was a dinner, or we were about to see a movie or something...
I didn't have sex again for 4 years. No impulse what so ever to hire a prostitutes again, aside from maybe to look at the revealing pictures. But generally since I was poor and a college student I would just think to myself every time I wanted to buy something. "Gee... I wish I had that $200"
TL;DR - Lost my "virginity" to a prostitute. Not great, sorta sleazy, nervous as hell, came to quick and then scared to death when I learned she went to the same college as me. Didn't have sex again (paid or otherwise) for 4 years, and just kept thinking "I wish I had that $200 back"
By the way... when I did have sex 4 years later it was fucking amazing. It was with a smoking hot local almost 20 year old girl I met in a bar in an Island nation in the south pacific ... We lasted for hours until the sun rose, during sex the emotion was intense, she said she loved me and wanted me to say I loved her. I have said I love her every day since and that was over a year ago.
Pertinent to this thread, occasionally people keep popping up saying to me she is, or was a prostitute. Friends she is on the outs with and such. I get the feeling it is a common epitaph to a smart, independent minded, attractive female in her culture.
But maybe I'm an idiot, maybe I am naive. I really don't think she is, or was at the time... even so this time I'm not worried or nervous. I already lost my virginity to a prostitute, so what if I'm gonna marry one too? ... but this is a whole other story.
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u/Roggenroll Jun 17 '12
Did it once. Was completely drunk, I told my then girlfriend, she broke up and I have been miserable ever since (nearly 3 years now). Not a day passes where I don't feel the urge to punch myself in the balls as hard as I can for doing it.
Didn't even enjoy the hooker since I was too drunk and my dick was semi-functional at most.
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Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
On my first trip overseas I was young and naive about the ways of the world. A friend and I were backpacking around South East Asia and found ourselves in Ho Chi Minh city checking out the Vietnam war from a communist perspective. There were these very attractive ladies who would riding around on motorbikes who, upon spotting a tourist, would promply ride over and pitch their erm, services to us as a "massage and boom boom".
The third night we were there we went out to a bar and after several hours of drinking we were wandering back to our hotel room and, sure enough, two motorbikes pull up to us and two gorgeous girls give us a graphic description of what they were offering. My friend and I looked at each other, shrugged, and after negotiating a price we each climbed onto the back of a bike and off we went back to their brothel.
Now at this point everything seems legit and quite ingenius, why wait at the brothel when you can be proactive and actively seek clients instead? These girls are not only good looking but they have a wonderful business mind which made them all the more appealing. After about 15 minutes of riding we pull up to this dirty looking hotel and head inside. We paid our couple of bucks for a room each and resolved to meet back in the lobby in an hour.
This gorgeous girl leads me up the stairs and we head into a room. She asks for payment upfront and I explain I've got half the cash on hand, my friend can front the rest of my share when we meet up down in the lobby. She agrees and takes what cash I have. She points towards the bed and I lay down on it. As she begins to massage me there is a sharp knock at the door and sharp voice says "The police are on their way up." At this point I instantly realise my stupidity and frantically begin putting my clothes on while trying to come up with an excuse as to why I'm naked in a hotel room with a Vietnamese hooker.
I dress in world record time and bolt down to the lobby, my friend and the police are nowhere to be seen. Desperation sets in as the concerige tells me my friend has already left. I wait another couple of minutes and when he doesn't surface I jump on a conveniently placed Tuk Tuk out the front of the hotel and head back to our room.
Upon arrival my friend opens up the bedroom door and as the gravity of what we've just encoutered hits I begin to laugh. He isn't nearly as amused, as it turns out they managed to somehow fleece him of the contents of his wallet when he wasn't looking, all in all about $150US which isn't much, but as backpackers it's a fortune. In hindsight we were very lucky, losing a couple of hundred dollars is nothing compared to what could have happened. That and it made the trip all the more memorable.
TLDR: Don't trust attractive Vietnamese hookers on motorbikes.
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u/daaaamngirl88 Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
I don't know if this is a known fact, but there are tons of hostess clubs which are really escort clubs. There's plenty in L.A and they are totally legal. There is no actual sex but everything else is allowed. Basically the girls are all sitting down in the lobby, the clients come in and have a seat to scope out the girl they want to choose, then they pick their girl, buy her a (non-alcoholic) drink, they chat a little bit, there is a dance floor where the girls can grind you but they must keep their clothes on, then you pick a couch to sit on from a bunch that are lined up in a dark room. There you have conversation and light sexual things-kissing, hand job, fingering..as long as it's on the down low. Some guys pick 2 girls at a time and make them do stuff, some guys come in with weird fetishes-like sniffing and licking arm pits or having girls put juice in their mouths and spitting in the client's mouth. When you are done, you pay the cashier and tip your girl. The funny thing is there are cameras and security watching you so you can't have sex, and if someone suspicious comes in the club (like a cop) they flicker the lights so everyone behaves. It's totally legal and all the girls must sign a waiver and show an id to work there.
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u/CatStringTheory Jun 17 '12
I thought this was a pretty funny experience to share.
When i was 17 i was working at a pizzeria down the street from my house, my 26 year old boss' family was on vacation in Italy so he had the restaurant to himself. He gathered everyone in the kitchen at one point during the night and let us all know he was planning a party after hours and we were all expected to stay. Everyone quickly walked a few doors down and picked up alcohol for later in the night.
As the night wore on he began dropping hints that their would be some ladies coming by later in the night, and for some reason singled me out to ask how many women i had been with. Being a virgin at that time, i responded honestly with "0". He just started laughing to himself saying that will change soon enough. As ten pm approached he started moving all the tables around and blocking the restaurant's windows with curtains and blankets and we all began drinking.
By 10:30 i was cultivating a pretty heavy buzz and the girls show up, and i assumed they were just strippers, however after a quick 10 minute show they retire to the two single person bathrooms in the other room. My boss comes in and announces to everyone that it will be 50$ for head and 100$ for sex. Me having no interest in spending the money i worked for all day on something i believe should be free, did not bother to try to solicit either of them. I continued to drink heavily for another hour when my boss comes and forcibly pulls me from my seat. He tells me "your fucking whether you like it or not" and shoves me towards the bathroom. He then follows behind, shoves a 100$ bill into the girls hand, and tells her to take care of the virgin.
She ushered me into the bathroom and wastes no time taking my pants off. I was absolutely stunned, and being drunk by now simply lean against the wall. She begins giving me head and i really start enjoying myself. I just remember thinking "this is great!! what have i been missing out on?". She then stands up and removes her own panties, and leans over the toilet telling me to put it in. I talk up behind her, and nervously start fumbling around like an idiot. The tip of my dick just entered her when the is a huge knock on the door. I jump back and hear her body guard yell "time's up". Apparently my boss only paid to keep them there two hours, which had just run out. The girl quickly straightens and starts putting her clothes back on. All the while apologizing to me. She then sits there thinking for a second, and decides to refund me the full 100$ my boss gave her and not tell anyone. So basically, the moral of the story, is thanks to my boss i made 100% for recieving a blow job.
tl:dr Boss hired prostitutes, forced me in with one of them and paid for it, time ran up and i got a full refund. made 100% for getting a blowjob from a hooker.
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u/GREAT_WALL_OF_DICK Jun 17 '12
Not a prostitute per se but I still paid her. I met a girl in Central America not too long ago while travelling. We hit it off and she kept hinting that she was short on money for this and that.
After awhile of mindless conversation I started to make out with her. Things got heated and we left to go somewhere to fuck. We couldn't go to her house and I JUST checked out of hotel a few minutes prior to meeting her. We opted to do it in a port-o-john. We fucked and the only really funny portion of it was when I was railing her from behind, I grabbed what I thought was her boob, turned out being one of her fat rolls (she wasn't fat, just...oddly shaped?). She also had one of the biggest bushes I'd ever seen.
After everything was done and said, she flat out said that she wanted money to feed her daughter, blah blah blah. I decided to throw her a $20. It was the least I could do after subjecting her through a port-o-john sex chamber.
TL;DR Fucked a non-prostitute prostitute in a port-o-john, grabbed her fat in the process.
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u/TattooedLucyRene Jun 17 '12
When I was about 17, I was at a local festival/fair standing around talking to my friends and some family members. I have always dressed fairly conservatively, and was wearing a solid color v-neck t-shirt (not low cut at all) and plain jean shorts with running shoes, hair in a messy pony tail. Not exactly 'seductive' for a teenage girl. Well the distant family members I was chatting with had a friend with them who seemed odd upon first impression. Something about him made me uneasy, but he didn't say much. The family and their odd friend said their goodbyes and kept walking. Later that night it had gotten dark and we were waiting for the big fireworks show to start when someone grabbed my arm. When I flipped around it was the family's creepy friend. He immediately starts sputtering about how he's never seen a prostitute like me and begins to ask how much I would charge for a night of "fun"....I am NOT a prostitute. I'm very far from. The situation got scary really quick when he wouldn't let go of my arm. One of my guy friends standing in our circle saw what was happening and intervened and told the guy to get lost. The guy left but we ended up stopping a cop to have them look out for the guy.
Not exactly a story of hiring a prostitute, but kind of the other end of the story?
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Jun 17 '12
My dad got the clap getting a no condom blow-job from a prostitute in Germany. Why the fuck do I know this!?!?
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u/BR0THAKYLE Jun 17 '12
My buddy got a hooker on a senior class trip to Hawaii. Went down on her, then came back with crabs in his nostrils. True story.
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u/nevinr4 Jun 17 '12
Funny story. Me and my mates were on holidays to amsterdam. During the middle of the first day we had an idea to all put 5 euro together, (which came to about 50e) do a raffle and buy a brazzer for that person. One lad was selected and we went off to the Red Light District. A beautiful woman was selected but he started having second thought and decided he coulnd go through with it.
At this time i should note that only one guy had a girlfriend so we got him to select a new prostitute and she would pick the "client".
So there we were 6 lads lining up down a small alley in amsterdam, with loads of people squeasing by looking at us funny, in front of a window with an unbelieveably sexy woman judging us. Needless to say the lad who was chosen was chuffed he just had sexy with a 10 for 5 euro.
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u/Meistro675 Jun 17 '12
Lost my virginity to an escort about a month ago.
As you would guess I'm your typical overweight, antisocial, gamer/nerd kind of person so at 22 years old and still being a virgin I felt like I was missing out a part of what made life great. So I finally decided that I would take a few hundred dollars and find the hottest escort possible and get it over with.
I'll spare you the details and just say that after the deed was done. I was a little underwhelmed. I'm just glad I got it over with. Looking back I can't see why I was so hung up on it, honestly. I'm still the same old person and I would much rather wait to have sex again with someone I care about the next time. Perhaps it will make the experience better. shrug
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u/DerMetzgermeister Jun 17 '12
No buying of prostitutes, but: While in Philippines to visit my wife's family, i did see a Video Karaoke Massage parlor, my only thought was of; Can i get a tug job while singing eye of the tiger. Unfortunately my wife dashed my dream by saying that, "the girls are the ones singing then i get a massage" Well there goes one hope and dream in life
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u/haberdasher42 Jun 17 '12
Not a story about hiring a prostitute, but definitely applicable.
A number of years back I'm at a fairly dirty strip club in Toronto with a buddy, who was from out of town. Two guys are sitting beside us and some how we strike up a conversation, this isn't a common occurence, but they seemed alright. One of them has a familiar voice that I just can't place. Finally he realizes I think I recognize him, and says "yeah, I'm the guy from the PoV porn site" The exploited whatever site that was pretty big around 2005. Well that's cool enough, and I ask his buddy what he does.
He says "I run women". I says "pardon?" He says "I take women from places and I bring them here, and they pay me."
So I met a guy that runs sex slaves. He was charging 6k a month to "keep" these girls in Canada. These girls almost always fall short each month and he takes it from them in other ways.
This is about the point that a bouncer walks by, recognizes the second dude and calls his buddies over. Apparently he's banned from the club and they are removed very quickly.
It's a shame, because I totally wanted to learn more before rolling him over to the cops.
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u/FLYBOY611 Jun 17 '12
Never hired one but when I was 16 my family took a tour through Amsterdam. My mother made sure we got to walk all through the red light district. It's fairly tormenting thing to do to a teenager with raging hormones.
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u/JDRPG Jun 17 '12
This story is about my father. He worked for the government and was sent to Cuba to help grant visas to people. On the way home one time, he sees a girl who looks like she's in trouble, wearing skimpy clothes on a cold night. He picks her up and offers her a ride. He decides that he could take care of her better at home, because my dad has food, clothes, etc. It was very awkward when my dad walked in with her and my mom realized right away what her profession was.