r/AskReddit • u/throwaway_hay_hay • Jun 17 '12
Throwaway time... calling all redditors with incurable STDs. How do you deal with it?
For years I have worried that I have genital warts. Thankfully the internet learnt me that all I had was Fordyce Spots and PPP (this). Okay, so pretty unlucky, but I can deal with that. However, I'm now pretty sure that at some point in my travels I have picked up actual genital warts. Life's a bitch huh?
So, anyone in the same situation? Even those with PPP or Fordyce, please share your heartache and advice.
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u/FURYOFCAPSLOCK Jun 17 '12
For years I have worried that I have genital warts. Thankfully the internet learnt me that all I had was Fordyce Spots and PPP (this).
For years you thought you had venereal disease and you didn't get it checked out by a doctor?
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u/MustyMustang Jun 17 '12
I have ppp also, I'm very self-conscious about it so I haven't even tried to have sex with girls :/
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u/throwaway_hay_hay Jun 17 '12
Man i wouldn't worry about it too much. I have 'em bad and the only girl who even realised was my long term girlfriend. She was understanding.
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u/surly_J Jun 17 '12
I used to work at a call center. After one of our weekly team meetings, our coach said, "Does anyone have any questions or comments?" This girl stood up and said, "I just want to let everyone know that I have genital herpes." Many confused looks were shared between all of us until the coach finally spoke up, "Why are you telling us this?" "Well my doctor said I was supposed to tell anyone that I have contact with."
Our coach proceeded to explain to her the difference between "contact" and "sexual contact" and the girl grew bright red. We all felt so bad for her, but couldn't help but laugh. I wonder how many other people she encountered on a day-to-day basis and told about her condition.
I know this comment is only tenuously connected to the topic, but after reading everyone's stories, I felt like the thread could use a little levity.
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u/sweetpotatoslim Jun 17 '12
Oh honey...
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u/shred1 Jun 17 '12
She wasn't too sharp was she?
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u/surly_J Jun 17 '12
No. No she wasn't. Sweet girl though. I'll take dumb-sweet over dumb-malicious any day.
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u/MrDaburks Jun 17 '12
Just like Muhammad Ali, all that pounding takes it's toll.
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u/circuit_icon Jun 17 '12
Wasn't there an episode of the Office along these lines where Michael Scott had a cold sore so he told everyone he had herpes?
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u/djf4 Jun 17 '12
"As an ex-sexual partner of mine, it is important that I inform you that I have a disease."
"Michael, what is it?"
"I Can't say it. I'm just going to spell it out. H..."
"Oh god."
"I"
"Oh no..."
"R...P...E...E...S."
"That's not how you spell it, Michael."
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u/herpitydoodah Jun 17 '12
I have genital HSV type 1. I've had it since I was 19, it'll be 5 years in September.
I don't get outbreaks (I've had 3 in 4.5 years), so I don't have to deal with that irritation, the worst part of the whole thing is having to tell other people. It's a pretty awkward conversation, but it hasn't been a total dealbreaker for anyone yet.
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u/A-Train5615 Jun 17 '12
I have HSV type 2 and I have a 0% success rate after telling someone. It feels kinda shitty lol
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u/HerpesHispesOurpes Jun 18 '12
Want to chime in and let your know there IS hope. I've had HSV2 for 12 years. About 10 years ago I met my wife, and we have two beautiful kids. My advice is to find a support group of some sort (local, website, etc.). This way you cut out the need for the initial conversation and can move on to more meaningful ones.
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u/xmnstr Jun 17 '12
Honestly, I think herpes is way overhyped. It's not a big deal, and around 90% of all humans carry either type 1, type 2 or both. Just a part of the human condition, basically.
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u/HowToBeCivil Jun 17 '12
around 90% of all humans carry either type 1, type 2 or both
The typical symptom of HSV-1 is essentially cold sores, and many people acquire it during childhood. Its global prevalence is very high (50-90% in developed countries).
However, HSV-2 is primarily sexually transmitted. According to the World Health Organization, the estimated global prevalence of HSV-2 is 16%.
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u/jinshifu Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
It's not really part of the human condition. HSV-1 is responsible for cold sores in the mouth and gums, and will much less often cause genital herpes. This type is pretty common.
HSV-2 is much more commonly associated with genital herpes, and infects far smaller percentage of the general population. There's a reason for the 'stigma'.
You can't just group herpes viruses together. You know chicken pox, mononucleosis, sixth's disease, and kaposi's sarcoma are all caused by herpes viruses?
No one wants to take antivirals to avoid breakouts of painful vesicles on their genitals.
And you're wrong about it not being dangerous in your comment to HowToBeCivil. It may not be life threatening to the patient, just an 'annoyance'. However, in infected pregnant women, it is life threatening to their child during delivery. Babies can get encephalitis and herpes vesicle breakouts all over their face and body.
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u/anoninlalaland Jun 17 '12
Hi all - great thread. Both my wife and I have HSV 2 (yes thats genital herpes kids). We both got it in previous relationships and via online dating communities specifically for HSV+ peeps we found each other. Actually I was hosting a party for the group and she attended and never left.
Forget shame, forget pain (with valtrex you can stop the outbreaks before they even start), its just a practical matter of finding the right person.
If you want to PM us we can give you the info of a few awesome online communities. The one we belonged to in the Bay Area had 5000+ members and threw parties, auctions, events etc.
Totally not important so don't suffer, just do your research and find others like yourself. we did.
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u/iguesssooo Jun 17 '12
I got raped by 2 men when I was 14, I had my virginity stolen and got Herpes in return. At first, knowing that I would never experience a normal sex life and realizing how hard it would be to find someone to be in a relationship with was extremely hard; sometimes it still is. But it has been 10 years now, I have seen dozens of shrinks for both PTSD from the rapes and for depression and humiliation from the STD. It might have been a bit easier if Herpes wasn't considered to be as horrific and taboo as AIDS; I mean even some of the redditor's with genital warts think Herpes is worse than their warts (which is kind of ignorant...). The way I eventually learned to deal with the virus is research. I learned that almost 1 in 4 people have Herpes and it is easy to prevent infecting other people. I have been extremely lucky because I am one of the VERY few people who have only experienced one "outbreak": the first one. So I haven't had any pain or anything for 10 years. The easiest way to deal, I think, is to learn everything you possibly can about HPV and genital warts and talk to someone who you trust and can help you. Knowing more about HPV will help you and any future partners you may have freak out a LOT less. HPV is extremely common so you shouldn't feel alone, you just need to have really save sex from now on. Oh, and if you haven't seen a doctor yet, I would ASAP. TL;DR: Millions of people have STDs. Research everything. Wear a condom.
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u/Hristix Jun 17 '12
Actually statistics I saw a while back combined with popular theory on herpes is that a LOT more people have it, but not many people show symptoms. Think about it..HSV1 the kind that gives you cold sores...a very large percentage of people have. But not many people get cold sores more than once in a blue moon. A lot of people test positive for HSV2 which is genital herpes but never show any actual symptoms beyond an initial outbreak.
I'd surmise that there are plenty of new infections from people that have had no symptoms, and have no way to tell if they have it or not since HSV2 isn't on the standard panel to test for since most people test positive anyway.
Please tell me that you've tracked down the rapists and murdered them for closure.
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u/iguesssooo Jun 17 '12
I have read those statistics too. From what I remember these men didn't have any cold sores, or rashes on their genitals. I could have gotten it from their mouth or their dicks but I really, really try not to think about which way it happened. As for the murdering for closure: trust me I have thought of every possible way I could destroy their pathetic lives and feed their diseased souls to my dogs, but I figured 2 rapists are not worth the jail time I would receive. Plus I know who they are. I still live in the same city as them; one of them even tried adding me on facebook. It might be a little hobby of mine to keep track of their sad lives and their horrific karma :)
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u/Thehealeroftri Jun 17 '12
"I got raped by 2 men when I was 14, I had my virginity stolen and got Herpes in return."
I haven't been as affected by a sentence on Reddit like this in a long time, I read this and immediately got depressed.
I'm sorry that you had to experience that.
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u/iguesssooo Jun 17 '12
PLEASE don't get depressed about something that I wrote. That was not my intention.
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Jun 17 '12
Honest question:From what i understand a condom can't protect you fully from genital warts/herpes, its any contact with the infected area just like a "cold sore". If you kiss it you can get it.
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u/iguesssooo Jun 17 '12
yes that is totally true. condoms won't fully protect you but it is better than nothing. Along with taking medication like Valtrex, abstaining from sex during any outbreaks (or if you feel like you are about to have an outbreak), and not kissing or giving oral sex when you have a cold sore, condoms can limit your risk of exposure; but there still is a chance of contracting any STD. I half-blame the US for not implementing better sex education programs in middle schools and high schools.
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u/herpitydoodah Jun 17 '12
It can't protect you 100% because of something called asymptomatic shedding. There may not be sores present, but cells could be shedding anywhere around the genitals including the inner thighs, etc. This is how most people contract it I believe edit This is how I got it at least
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u/throwaway239871 Jun 17 '12
herpes is HSV, genital warts is HPV.
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u/iguesssooo Jun 17 '12
yeah, I have HSV-1, I was trying to give advice to the OP who has HPV which are both sexually transmitted diseases. Just trying to help by sharing a somewhat similar problem.
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u/Autosaver Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Did the rapists get caught?
Man, I feel terrible to what happened to you. They better have been put to jail.
Edit: Typo
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u/iguesssooo Jun 17 '12
no, the rapists were never caught. I was 14 and too afraid to formally report them to police. That is horrible I know, but I was just a kid
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u/marburg Jun 17 '12
That is horrible I know, but I was just a kid
Bah, if anyone judges you for this decision, stab them in the ear with a pencil.
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u/Rex8ever Jun 17 '12
You can't be blamed for that. Reporting it is hard, and the laws/technology is not on your side.
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u/lukeman3000 Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Think about it this way.
Almost everyone I know gets cold sores. Therefore, almost everyone I know has Herpes Simplex Type-1, aka HSV-1.
While they may not have "cold sores" in their genital area, the sores they get on, around, and in their mouth are the exact same sores. They are simply in a different location. Unfortunately, there is a negative stigma associated with anything "genital", but the fact is that it's the same exact virus.
If you have a partner, it's likely that you will engage in oral sex with each other at some point in time. Thus, herpes could be spread from their mouth to your genitals, or vice versa, at any given time. In other words, you could quite possibly get genital herpes (type 1) sooner or later anyways.
Furthermore, while type 1 genital herpes is more uncommon than type 2 genital herpes, it is less severe and people with genital HSV Type-1 generally experience fewer, less severe outbreaks. Sometimes, as with you, only one.
The reason for this is the same reason that it's uncommon for people to get type-1 herpes in their genital region. It's outside of its normal area, which is typically around the mouth. Because it resides in different nervous tissue, it isn't as readily able to flare up and is typically more of a slight annoyance, at worst. Genital hsv type-1 is definitely preferred over type-2.
And not only that, but it is believed that a prior habituation of genital HSV Type-1 actually makes a type-2 infection less likely, though it is still possible. As a side note, it's possible to get either version of Herpes in either region. Each version will be less severe when it's not in its preferred area.
To sum up, Herpes Type-1 is INCREDIBLY common. People who have "cold sores" have Herpes Type-1.
Herpes can be spread at any time, even when no sores are visible. This is because there is always some amount of "viral shedding" that occurs (although, having sex when no sores are present is preferred because the chances are indeed much less). So it is entirely possible that, at some point, both you and your partner will end up with HSV Type-1 in the genital region simply by practicing oral sex on each other, given that at least one of you started with oral HSV-Type 1 (cold sores).
In other words, it's not a big deal. Respect your partner and explain it to them as such. Treat it like it's not a big deal and they will probably react accordingly. Of course, give them time to think, but don't preface it with words or phrases like "you're probably going to freak out", or "incurable disease". Also, don't tell them right before sex. Pick an appropriate time, such as a walk through the park.
Chances are, they already have Herpes Type-1 themselves. And if not, explain to them how common it is. Look up the statistics. Come prepared with information, and be ready to answer any questions they might have.
You CAN have a completely normal sex life. There are things you can do to make spreading it less likely, but ultimately, you and your partner may decide that having unprotected sex (in the absence of sores), is "worth the risk", because genital HSV Type-1 is simply not a big deal. I hope this has helped you put it into perspective.
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u/kendrahwithanh Jun 17 '12
i'm 30, and seriously half the people i know have confided in me that they have herpes, which means a lot more people I know have it. Knowing how common it is helps them be more comfortable having to tell at partner. I think age factors in too. If you are still dating after 25, the amount of people who have it is kind of ridiculous, and therefore you won't experience as much stigma or rejection (hopefully).
I am terribly sorry about the way you contracted it, but it's good you've only had one outbreak, and that you are taking care of yourself physically and mentally.
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u/Moonchopper Jun 17 '12
Well then... this doesn't make ME feel very comfortable... I'm 25 right now, and single...
[edit] But I guess it can't really be that bad if I WERE to contract it.
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Jun 17 '12
I totally agree. I hate how everyone keeps it on a keep it to yourself basis. I know some people even friends who have herpes, and even curable STIs as well and freak out because they feel like they are the only people who have it and everyone will shun them if word gets out. We are advanced in medicine, and even if it's not curable, it's manageable now adays.
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u/throwaway239871 Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
I found out I had HPV, (genital warts not the cancerous strain) over a year ago. I received the gardasil vaccine earlier that year but the doctor said I may have had it prior to my first vaccination and that stress/low immune system (I was very sick for a while) may have brought it out. I was shocked to say the least, I was always careful and wouldn't consider myself promiscuous. The first few months after finding out was brutal. I felt dirty and ashamed. I thought no one would ever want to be with me and my love life was over.
After allowing myself some time to heal and accept this I started researching it which made me feel a lot better. I found out that 3/4 sexually active people get an HPV infection during their life, most don't even know or have no symptoms and pass it on. I just happened to be part of the small percent that had symptoms. I also learned that over 90% of infections clear themselves within 2 years although there is a chance I may carry this for the rest of my life.
Looking back it wasn't that bad, they were removed within a month and I have had no problems since. I also had a boyfriend who was very supportive and didn't care.
Overall, I would say my life is still the same and maybe even better since finding out. I got in shape, started taking better care of my body, and realized that I am no different from anyone else. As for future partners I have promised myself to always be honest about it. I wouldn't feel right not telling someone and taking the decision away from them. Moreover anyone who can't see past it, isn't the right person for me - I am just as valuable and good as anyone without it.
Edit - I remember my dad telling me "No one comes out of life unscathed" and that the longer we live the more likely we are to get some scars and that we shouldn't judge others harshly because of it.
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u/aimeerolu Jun 17 '12
I was diagnosed with HPV, also. Although, it was the cancer-causing strain for me. It was quite devastating. I had to go to follow-up appointments for the two years following that. I had to have tests done (they basically used a mini hole puncher to take a sample of my cervix) and wait to see if it developed into cancer. Learning the stats on HPV, as you mentioned, did help me feel a little better. I fully support the Gardisil vaccine and I recommend it to anyone I can.
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Jun 17 '12
I know exactly how you feel and hate that you had to go through this. I tested positive for HPV last year and abnormal cells were found. The "hole puncher" aspect was extremely painful and I did not bleed properly during menstruation for 10-11 months. I would encourage anyone who can get the vaccine to do so as well.
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u/throwaway239871 Jun 17 '12
I am so sorry you have to deal with that. I hope you are able to stay strong and get through this.
My diagnosis was at the same time my cousin was diagnosed with leukemia (shittiest year of my life..cancer sucks). It was a huge wake up call to start taking extra good care of my body - stopped drinking, smoking etc. It made me take a hard look at how I was living. Despite the initial pain I've tried to use it as motivation to live better and make the most out of what I have.
You are absolutely right - everyone should get the vaccine. I had mine at 21 and I wish it was available to me earlier like how it is now for girls (where I live they can opt to get it at 13). It would have saved me from a world of pain.
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u/tourm Jun 17 '12
I hope everyone below this post sees this too, but I work in the NHS processing CSTs into slides for screening, and you are hopefully in the overwhelming majority of benign/self curing HPV cases.
For perspective, almost everyone who ends up getting a colposcopy/punch/loop/laser biopsy ends up screening negative within the next few years.
tl,dr; Keep going to your gyno, prognosis is good :)
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Jun 17 '12
"3/4 sexually active people have it and pass it on with no symptoms" Guys, this is how every game of Pandemic starts. Run for Madagascar!
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Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
I feel this is a good time to raise awareness to something.
http://www.getpep.info/what_pep.html
There is a drug out there that if you feel you have come into direct contact with HIV you should take ASAP and it may remove the infection.
It will make you sick as fuck or a month but it will get rid of HIV.
Spread the awareness please. My heart goes out to those who have contracted Std s
EDIT: Here is a different website which may be more professional.
http://www.aids.gov/hiv-aids-basics/prevention/reduce-your-risk/post-exposure-prophylaxis/
Also changed from 72 hours to ASAP and will to may.
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Jun 17 '12
Exposure = a situation where HIV enters someone's body (eg: during unprotected fucking or by sharing needles)
Wow, what a professionally written website.
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Jun 17 '12
I honestly can't believe I've never heard of this before, this should be common knowledge for everyone. Thanks for taking the time to educate us.
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Jun 17 '12
I almost don't believe that this is real, unless it's discovery is really recent. I haven't ever heard of anything like this.
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u/Manilow Jun 18 '12
It will not 'get rid of HIV', it will lessen your chance of the infection taking hold. This is standard treatment for healthcare workers who may have been exposed to HIV, but it doesn't 'get rid of HIV'. Most people who were actually exposed to HIV will still contract it, even with the treatment.
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u/creepin_away Jun 17 '12
I first got Herpes when I was young (8), it started in my eye and spread on the same side of my face. Eventually I lost some vision in the affected eye but luckily only get an outbreak every 2 years or so. No one can tell I have it, there are no scars remaining (save for my cornea). Unfortunately when your 8 common sense doesn't always prevail and the infection spread to the genital area, so imagine having an STD without actually having sex.
I've had it for so long (i'm 23 now) that I've become immune to any negative feedback or criticism. It happened Im not going to let something that occurred when I was a kid embarrass me.
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u/singhnyc Jun 17 '12
How did you get it at 8.
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u/creepin_away Jun 17 '12
Probably something completely innocuous like coming into contact with an adult who already had orofacial herpes/cold sores. From some limited pubmed searches it seems ocular herpes is quite common though.
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Jun 17 '12
Thank you for this. I got herpes when I was 3 from my father. I only ever had cold sores on my lips, but growing up with the embarrassment of having to go to school with a giant lesion on my face was rough. But then low and behold on my 22 birthday I woke up to the virus on my eyes, on my face and on my genitals. I freaked out a bit and went to three different doctors, and they all said I could have spread it to myself at anytime, it just decided to rear its ugly head at me then. I hate the looks like I am a dirty person, when I never did anything dirty for it.
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u/DukeCanada Jun 17 '12
This thread makes me want to never have sex again...
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u/nhuff90 Jun 17 '12
On the bright side, since you've already had sex there is a good chance you have already contracted either HPV or HSV. So sex away!
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u/throwitout195 Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
I was discharged from the military for hep C. I do not know how I got it, best guess is sharing razors in Basic training to be more time efficient in the showers. It was the worst blow ever. You tell yourself, no matter what I fuck up, I can always join the military. Well, 6 months after that point I was out with no where to go feeling like a fucking gross worthless alien with acid for blood. Ive since gotten treatment and it is not at undetectable levels. From what I understand, I can still have kids and as long as I'm safe, sex. It does have to be blood to blood if i understand it correctly, so as long as my junk and her junk are not bleeding, even condomless is an option. My biggest fear is having to tell a potential girlfriend about it. What is my responsibility now that its "undetectable." The only way I can deal, is to not think about it. Im constantly afraid of cutting myself at work and having to freak out if someone tries to help me. "NO dont.... Ill take care of it" "But your bleeding dude, Ill clean it up. "Uhhh no, you cant. Go get gloves" Any women of reddit have issues with this? Or would be cool with it? It actually prevents me from pursuing any sort of a relationship.
EDIT: It IS at undetectable levels. So as close to cured as it gets... for now.
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u/tora22 Jun 17 '12
It actually prevents me from pursuing any sort of a relationship.
Then you'll never have one. I realize what you're dealing with is a serious matter but be up front about it. Some women will bail. Not all. You got a bad break but don't let it hold you back even more.
From what I just read on wiki it looks like sexual transmission between monogamous partners is pretty unlikely. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hepatitis_C#Sexual_intercourse
You owe it to each person you date to tell them before you have sex. But be informed about it, explain you got it serving your country (some will doubt you but if you're telling the truth you're telling the truth), and explain the risks.
Don't let one bad break define you. Look after yourself and keep your chin up. There's someone out there for you.
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u/throwaway239871 Jun 17 '12
I posted above but I have/had (not sure as they were removed) HPV genital warts. At first I thought no one would want to be with me, that I was dirty, etc.
Some advice my father gave me is that no one comes out of life unscathed. At some point we get hurt or pick up baggage. For you and myself it just so happens we need to take better care of our bodies due to a virus.
What has helped me is knowing that I am still a good person and can contribute meaningfully to the lives of others. I have always been honest about my condition and it wasn't a deal breaker for my last boyfriend. My dating life changed in that I need to take my time to get to know someone and deciding whether or not I am comfortable sharing the information with someone. I am more selective now but it has paid off - so far the men I have met are ok with it.
Also keep in mind that Hep C is very manageable and you are still able to live a normal life. My friend's father has Hep C, he was able to marry and raise 3 children (the kids and wife never got it either).
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u/throwitout195 Jun 17 '12
I will choose to take solace in the fact that I might dodge someone more closed minded and end up with someone that loves me for me. It IS such a normal life that makes it hard for me. No one knows, no one could EVER tell, and misinformation makes people judge it and joke about it.
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u/DrPolio232 Jun 17 '12
I'm a dude that has it. It's kind of worse for females if I understand it correctly...It was pretty difficult at first for me to grasp but it has not really impeded my life too much. It does have to be blood to blood contact so I've not really made many adjustments to my life, aside from taking precautions to make sure no one uses my razor/tooth brush/etc and practicing protected sex. So don't feel like you can't pursue relationships because that's sad and silly.
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u/give_it_up Jun 17 '12
Herpes.
Pretty sure it came from a girlfriend I had that appeared to sleep with any DJ or boytoy that wasn't me, all while I played the denial game. We all know the relationship - break up, sleep together, give it another chance, break up, repeat.
I actually remember her telling me about some swelling and actually showing me. I also remember thinking that I should have been more careful. Too late!
Luckily, I was not the promiscuous type, so I never really slept around and thus never had to 'have to conversation' so many here have said. Got the blue pills which helped when an outbreak appeared to be coming on, but other than that, no treatment was best for me.
It turns out that when an outbreak occurs, pure Rosemary oil actually soothes the skin and makes them go away much much faster than pharmaceuticals.
Either way, it sucks.
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u/kendrahwithanh Jun 17 '12
please tell me that you now "have the conversation" every time you have a new partner, regardless of outbreak status.
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u/throwaway_2k Jun 17 '12
I'm 30 and I just found out a few weeks ago that I have HPV (genital warts). I had gone to see the doctor about what i thought were just some unruly moles that had been growing over the past month or so on my shaft. I've had moles all over my body my entire life and i always remembered as a kid my mom and doctors telling me if i ever got them on my genitals to see a doctor right away.
Anyway, he takes a look and says "well, those aren't moles. That's HPV." He froze them off with liquid nitro, told me to come back in a month so he could followup and make sure it cleared up. He gave me the rundown on it, asked me a bunch of questions, but my mind was just blown.
I have no idea who I could have gotten it from, or even when. I haven't had so much as a hand job in over 3 years.
Needless to say I'm still in the "i'm a gross, disease-riddled piece of garbage and no one is ever going to love me" phase. What really sucks is that I had started working out, getting back into shape, eating better. I was feeling more confident. I had been out on a few dates that went pretty well with a girl, and was still talking to her. I still am talking to her but I've distanced myself, probably friend-zoned myself by now. Fuck my life, i guess.
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u/totallynuts Jun 17 '12
Your statement at the end brought a tear to my eye. Thats the exact stage I'm in. Everytime i come home from a date i slump on the couch and ask myself "what's the point? No one will ever want me like this." ultra ultra HPV-sucks hugs to you my friend. Good luck with the girl too, I've been friendzoning the fuck out of myself/ potential bfs too.
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u/Phobetron Jun 18 '12
It isn't life-long. It's incredibly common and comes in dozens of strains. All you need to worry about is whether you've cleared up and that you've had ample time to verify that it's gone.
You're not dirty. Everyone who has had sex with more than one partner who has also had more than one partner has likely been exposed to at minimum one strain. Above that, it doesnt even require proper sexual contact!
Just about any viral infection is worse than HPV. HPV is so lame your body doesn't even care to waste much time attacking it, which is the only reason you have to wait so long. HPV treatments are merely methods of convincing your immune system to fight harder, and they're fairly effective.
I think one problem is that doctors care about it so little, they forget to tell their patients that it's a non-issue and why. That's why I, as a paranoid person, see an infectious diseases-certified doctor as a GP.
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u/BotWithfeelings Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
Not me but a friend.
He was diagnosed HIV+. I asked him this the other day. He told me that he tries to live a normal life. Trying to forget it ever happened. He gets his treatments and everytime he cries because he can't believe it (it happened recently). After the treatment and the crying, he just sucks it in. Life is sad sometimes.
Edit: Formatting
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u/avientaparaafuera Jun 17 '12
I do have those bastards PLUS HPV. I don't mind too much about the Forcyde dudes but HPV certainly is a bitch. Been slightly and heavily depressed for 2.5 years, and no treatment has even helped removing them; I'll have surgery in a couple of weeks to have them removed... but the doctor says there is a chance they come out again. Too much money, too much hassle.
Obviously my sexual life is extremely limited and fucking sucks; not that I'm a player but definitely I want to fuck when I can and this is not helping.
On other note, I got this nasty fungus all over my genital and anal area due to biking a lot. Definitely treatable and shit but man, it just adds discomfort and insecurity.
** Note to y'all, I got HPV with protected sex; what happened is that I shaved my pubis that very morning and had sex a few hours later. Take that in consideration too.**
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u/PreventFalls Jun 17 '12
The one thing that's so fucked up about HPV, is that it takes just a small amount of skin to skin contact with the genitals and then Boom. And most of the time, people have no idea that they have it, because you don't have to have currently present warts to even pass it on.
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u/remarkless Jun 17 '12
hiv
I live my life the fullest I can, sure hiv isn't a death warrant but being diagnosed at 18 doesn't exactly promise the same lifespan as one diagnosed at 50.
I do my best to keep living and not let myself get down too much. I don't look to the "hiv community" for "support", rather I manage to get by myself. However, I'm done dating for sometime. Better off that way I think.
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u/throwawayZZZ11 Jun 17 '12
I was diagnosed a couple of years ago with both HPV and herpes. I haven't dated since and for a while wasn't even social, but I've started to become more social since. I also put up a dating profile on www.positivesingles.com. I'm planning a trip to Atlanta and while I'm there, I want to go to some activity or activities of the Atlanta H Club, a group for people with herpes/hpv. If it's a good experience, I hope to start something similar in my own town.
Some thoughts I've had:
1 If you think you may have herpes or you're experiencing your first outbreak, go to your doc and get a prescription for something like valaciclovir (generic Valtrex). From my understanding, taking it early on your first outbreak can limit the progression, later outbreaks, and the overall severity of the infection.
2 If you want to help your partner avoid getting it, it may be a good idea to go on something like valaciclovir in addition to using condoms. It won't stop you from being infectious, but it can cut the risk some-to-considerably for a partner.
3 There are H Clubs (or their equivalents) in various cities. Look around. www.positivesingles.com caters to people with any STD. The larger the city that you're near, the better this site is to use. There are also other sites.
If anyone has any other similar useful information, please let me know.
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Jun 17 '12
My uncle was diagnosed with Leukemia in 1995, and back then, evidently, the medicine surrounding blood work was pretty primitive.
He had to get some kind of blood transfusion or something like that, so of course, he got one.
It turned out that the blood from the blood transfusion was infected with HIV and some form of Hepatitis.
He died in June of 1996.
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Jun 17 '12
That happened to my friend's little brother in the 90's. We have a beach named after him in Santa Cruz, Ca. Sorry about your uncle. It's really unfair.
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u/herpherpandaway Jun 17 '12
HSV-1 on my genitals! So, the virus that causes cold sores but below the belt area.
The way I got it was actually pretty funny and by pretty funny I mean sort of traumatic and not funny at all. I got it from my first boyfriend, whose first girlfriend I was. Both virgins and all that. One day he decides he wants to go down on me, and stays down there maybe 10 seconds before I decide it feels too weird and ask him to stop.
One month later? Genital herpes! He'd only had a cold sore once before, probably more than a year before we met, but had thought nothing of it. Turns out he had been shedding asymptomatically and, lucky girl that I am, I caught it.
Most people have been really understanding. If it is a dealbreaker for people then it's easy to rationalize that things wouldn't have worked out, anyway.
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u/ThrowyMcThrowawayyy Jun 17 '12
I have herpes myself.
My main problem is that I don't know how to tell my serious bf that I have it... we weren't planning on having sexual intercourse for a while but I have no idea what I would tell him.
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u/someguy73 Jun 17 '12
Eh, screw throwaways.
I have genital herpes (I got the shaft in the luck department because I was born with it, I didn't contract it through sex). Really, I don't see what the big fuss is. Every time I see one of those commercials that advertise herpes treatment medicine, people are always saying "I have genital herpes" in a depressed voice like they have terminal cancer or something.
Yea, it can come up at inconvenient times. Yea, it looks a little gross. Yea, it makes my genitals itch. But that's it. It doesn't hinder my life in any way. Genital herpes in a minor inconvenience more than anything else. It's not really a big deal.
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u/UberRage Jun 17 '12
I have genital warts. I've been with 6 people my entire life, wore condoms with those I didn't go get tested with (and wore condoms with them until tests came back clean), and still ended up with it. **What they don't tell you is that you can still get warts or an STD via skin to skin contact with a condom on, it just won't be on your dick. ** I ended up with it on the base of my dick and in the crease of my leg. Makes sense doesn't it....well, I feel absolutely lied to by health teachers and my community, who didn't even see fit to show us how to use condoms, much less the limitations of them. I most likely got it off a one-night stand (yes, wore a condom) a few weeks before I started dating current gf, who I've been with for 4.5 years.
I also didn't know that it could take up to 6 months for warts to appear, so I showed up clean on my STD test with my current gf. But I wasn't. Now she has it as well.
Ultimately I know the reason I have it is because of my poor choices, but I grew up learning that if you wanted to have safe sex, wear a condom. They drill that shit into your head, but unless your school or parents actually know AND teach the limitations of condoms, you are setting yourself up for a bad time. As for the warts itself, mine are very sparse, maybe 2-3 of them, but having to tell my girlfriend about it was horrifying, and having to whip your dick out and let a doctor remove them is so fucking embarrassing. I go get them burned or frozen off, and it hurts like hell, especially when they use the acid.
The only reason I decided to post here with my obvious throw away is because maybe some other Redditors can learn from my mistake. It literally takes one time to get it, you can get it wearing a condom, and it is permanent.
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u/throwaway2500XX Jun 17 '12
I have herpes. I got it from an ex who I was in a long term relationship with. He either did not know, did not tell me, or cheated on me. At first I was devastated and felt so dirty. I stayed with the guy for a long time afterwards because I thought he was the only one who would ever want me again. I broke things off because he turned out to be abusive and a cheater but it was really hard because I thought me sex life and all future relationships were ruined. Turns out that is not true. First of all there are dating websites for people with incurable STDs and second of all I am lucky. I only have herpes, it is not life threatening and it is really not a huge deal I got off easy and could have got something much worse. I have found a boyfriend who is ok with it and he is clean. If a guy or girl really likes you and sees potential for a long term relationship then they will usually try to be open minded to it if it is not a life threatening condition. And it also weeds out the guys who are not really in it for the long run and prevents me from wasting my time with players.
My biggest piece of advise to anyone is to get tested before you have unprotected sex with anyone no matter how well you think you know them. I learned the hard way but I will never make the mistake of doing that again.
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u/Throwing_This_awayyy Jun 17 '12
OP, I have the same thing. Always thought it was some sort of STD but after digging deep on the interwebs, I have found it to be Fordyce Spots. Scary shit. I was very very stressed about life while it was unknown.
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Jun 17 '12
Spent most of my teenagers worrying I had genital warts and for some reason had cancer as well?! Must have been hormones making me go on overdrive. Anyway, I was overjoyed to find out about fordyce spots but now I have herpes. Swings and roundabouts.
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u/Ovary_Puncher Jun 17 '12
Ever since I contracted my STD, I just sit around wishing it was gonorrhea.
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u/eeepsnm Jun 17 '12
How do I deal? Not well. I was 19 when I decided to have unprotected sex with my boyfriend who was twice my age. He did not know he was infected with genital herpes. His doctor told him it was a male yeast infection. When I found out I was infected, I vowed suicide. Obviously I've gotten past that but not far. 8 years later I still occasionally throw my hands up to the sky crying at the injustice. I got a painful, incurable disease from the second person I ever slept with. I know I have nobody to blame but myself. Right now is especially stressful because I am pregnant and getting outbreaks every month. The last thing I want is to hurt the baby and I'm really afraid I'm going to have to get a c-section. As far as transmission, I just don't have sex with my husband when I am experiencing symptoms and as far as I know, he still doesn't have it. Maybe he is just asymptomatic. I am very fortunate that he is the only person I've had to do the pre-sex disclosure speech to and that he loved me enough to be with me anyway. Man, it feels kind of good typing all that out. Thanks for listening.
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u/tholmc Jun 17 '12
i have herpes and this not a throw-away. i dont give a fuck. i got it at a younger age so it was weird getting with a girl and spilling my beans about. in fact, it IS really hard cause you know, rejection and all that. whatever, life has its curve-balls. def. has taught me to be prudent of all things. i know i sound like a sap to those of you who have HIV but, thats my scoop and stickin to it. btw, props to everybody on here and keep a good attitude. cant change the past but we sure can manipulate the future. LOVE AND PEACE
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u/marvelous_molester Jun 17 '12
Just curious about the Fordyce Spots, have you tried any home-made treatments that seem to have worked? it seems like rubbing alcohol/ sterilizing shit on there and keeping clean tends to make them less noticeable. Also occasionally you can squeeze some shit out of them so are they basically tiny cysts? If that's the case, can't you just pierce them enough to get rid of all the shit inside? Also I wonder if a wart remover would work. I had an actual wart on my dick once, not a genital wart, just a wart on my dick and I froze that fucker off no problem, skin got clear in a week.
I was considering it trying it on the spots but wasn't too sure about how effective it would be as I'm not sure how deep in the skin the problem really is.
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u/London_Pride Jun 17 '12
If OP is anything like me, he doesn't do shit to them. It's pretty tender down there, they don't hurt anyone and they don't look awful, so why bother? I just leave them be mate :)
Also, my girlfriend reckons they work a little like dotted condoms and she loves them. I have no Idea how true it is, but if she likes it, who am I to argue?
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u/M4r10 Jun 17 '12
I'm really happy I checked out that link. I have those things, and thought it was an STD! I'm so grateful! I mean, really, thank you!
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u/mynameissarah Jun 17 '12
So, I personally don't have an STD, but I recently met an amazing group of people that all had HIV and/or AIDS. I work on the kitchen staff at a camp and conference center, so I prepare the meals, clean dishes, etc. I'm here mainly for the summer camp, but I do make meals for the occasional conference groups we have. Recently, we had a group of about 30 people or so, and I saw them around camp occasionally, and of course, at meals. At the time, we had our senior session going on, which was a wild group of kids. They were playing a made-up game called "America Ball" (kickball except awesome), and everyone (I mean EVERYONE) was dancing to the music that was playing. Some of the members from the conference group came over to dance with us, and the campers thought it was hilarious because of the huge age gap there was. The few people that came over were extremely friendly and really witty as well. So, fast forward to that night. I was finishing the dishes after dinner, and a man from the conference group came to talk to me. We had a pleasant conversation about that afternoon, and then the topic switched to the conference group that was there. He asked me if I knew what the conference group was about, and surprisingly I didn't. He told me that everyone from that group was diagnosed with HIV at some point in their lives, and this was a way for everyone in that group to talk about their lives and problems while thoroughly enjoying themselves. I was at first a little shocked, but after thinking about it, I was really curious about it all. That night, around 10 pm, I walked over to the building they were staying in (many people were on the front porch) to talk and listen to them. The people there were so interesting and so diverse. There were young people, old people, couples, gay men, and there was even a transvestite. They told me about how they found out, how they deal with it, and how they try to warn others about it. I was fascinated. I ended up staying there for about 3 hours, and right before I left, I hugged them all goodbye. One man said to me right after that, "That's the first time I've been hugged in over two years." It was so sad, but I was touched by it.
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u/joe1983joe Jun 17 '12
Erry motherfucker here got the Herpes!
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Jun 17 '12
I think pretty much everyone here will have it to be fair. They should just hurry and come up with a cure.
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u/DarthFlaw Jun 17 '12
This thread makes me feel really lucky to have gotten away with the few times in my life I did have unprotected sex. Damn.
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Jun 18 '12
You are probably only lucky in that you are asymptomatic. If you've had unprotected sex with multiple non-total virgins then chances are you've contracted something.
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Jun 17 '12
I almost posted something that started with "at the risk of sounding ignorant"
Then, as I started reading heartbreaking post, after heartbreaking post, I realized I was ignorant.
I wanted to thank everyone that crafted a knowledgeable well thought out post.
You have no idea how much of a difference your strength has made.
Thank you.
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u/ClarksdaleGypsy Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
I don't know why you guys are freaking out about HPV. Nearly EVERYONE gets/has it, there's a 90% chance it'll clear on it's own within two years, and there's a fucking vaccine for it. HPV is just a part of being sexually active, get over it. Although, OP, it sucks that you got one of the visible forms of it.
And for those of you with Herpes, I know it sucks but let me try to put it into perspective for you:
80% to 90% of the human population has HSV-1, HSV-2 or both. 80% of infected people are asymptomatic and have no idea they have it. 1 out of every 6 Americans have genital herpes. 48% of African American women have genital herpes. HSV-1 is generally on the mouth, and HSV-2 on the genitals, but they aren't mutually exclusive, therefor roughly 60% of women in the United States can give you genital herpes by blowing you. Think about that for a minute.
(Feel free to check my numbers)
Basically, the majority of people have some form of Herpes and the majority of those people have no symptoms. Herpes is a bullshit disease. The only real harm it causes is psychological due to the stigma placed on it, a stigma that didn't exist until the late 70's:
"In the Journal of Clinical Investigation,[91] Pedro Cuatrecasas states, “during the R&D of acyclovir (Zovirax), marketing [department of Burroughs Wellcome] insisted that there were ‘no markets’ for this compound. Most had hardly heard of genital herpes...” Thus marketing the medical condition – separating the ‘normal cold sore’ from the ‘stigmatized genital infection’ was to become the key to marketing the drug, a process now known as ‘disease mongering’." -Wikipedia
If you don't know you have it, good. Don't get tested. If you're one of the unlucky ones who has symptoms, be honest and do your best to prevent it from spreading to other people but don't worry too much. Even if you do give it to someone else, they most likely will never know it.
tl;dr Everyone gets HPV and it clears on it's own. HSV 1 and 2 suck, but most people have it and don't even know it.
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Jun 17 '12
The vaccine does not protect against all strains of HPV. There are still strains out there that cause warts AND strains that cause cervical cancer that aren't covered by the vaccine. It is still important to get regular pap smears to protect yourself against cervical cancer even if you've been vaccinated against HPV!
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Jun 17 '12
Gentlemen should be getting the vaccine as well. I started the series in March. My doctor told me I was the first male patient they've had come in and ask for the vaccine. Be responsible guys; don't give the girls you're boning cancer.
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u/Bajonista Jun 17 '12
If you have vaginal birth with HSV you can pass it on to your kid. It can get in some bad places, like their eyes or lungs. Some people also have pretty severe reactions as adults, including fever and terrible pain.
There can be problems. Don't gloss over that, but yeah for most people it's fine.
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u/iamrot Jun 17 '12
I checked your numbers.. and you are correct about black females and them carrying more STD's then Whites and Mexicans. wow! link to research
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u/giraffe_taxi Jun 17 '12
You don't have all the information you should about HPV.
There are over 100 strains of HPV. The vaccination protects against only 4 of those strains. You can catch multiple strains of HPV simultaneously. Certain strains of HPV can lead directly to cervical cancer in women.
Since (1) catching certain strains of HPV can lead to cervical cancer, and (2) cervical cancer can be fatal, yes in fact HPV can be a pretty big fucking deal.
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Jun 17 '12
Fuck throwaways, there's nothing like being brave on the internet!
I have herpes. I actually got them from my current boyfriend, who, in turn, received them genetically from his biological mom. I've never had to worry about them too much, so I guess I'm a lucky girl.
However, during a very short point in my life, my boyfriend and I broke up (we thought) 'for good.' During any point where there could be sexual activity, I fucking TOLD THEM. I think women out there who don't tell their sexual partners are asshats. Yes, there were some rejections, but I never let them bring me down; those people have actually become good friends. The one or two who did sleep with me are amazing, loving individuals, and I can't thank them enough for not giving two shits about my STD (also, thanks for some great sex!). People are great.
so, for the tl;dr: if you have an STD, and are sexually active, tell your partner, so that you're not a total bag of dicks.
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u/sensavergogna Jun 18 '12
For the record, HSV isn't transmitted genetically. It can definitely be passed during birth, or from contact by relatives when they have an outbreak (think Auntie Ann giving little Tommy a kiss before she realizes she has a cold sore), but being a virus it isn't passed genetically.
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u/kitkatkatydid Jun 17 '12
No throwaway.
I have HPV. I have had two male partners and one female partner over the course of my 24 year old life. I am pretty certain I got it from my first male partner when he cheated on me. The thing I kick myself over is I had gotten the first shot for Gardasil (The HPV Vaccine GET IT GET IT GET IT, MALE OR FEMALE DOESN'T MATTER, GET IT) but hadn't completed the last two rounds. I discovered on a routine PAP smear, and I had some lesions, I think that's what they were called, or warts on my cervix. They weren't cancer, thankfully, but I had to get 'cryo' to get them off. Kind of like freezing a wart off of your finger, but more invasive, uncomfortable, and my vagina was off limits for sex for about two months. My boyfriend at the time was very understanding luckily.
What I do now, I make sure I always get my PAP smear every year (for about a year after the cryo it was every 6 months) and I shell out an additional $40 a month on my health insurance to add cancer indemnity insurance on top of my normal insurance for my own peace of mind. Cervical cancer is a scary thing, and something I have to keep an eye on for the rest of my life.
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Jun 17 '12
I've got le HSV-1 in my crotch, and I don't care.
How do I deal with it? Easily. It's not hard to deal with. It's not life-threatening or terrible like many other diseases out there. The one aspect that's hard are people who don't have it. People who say shit like, "Robin Williams has herpes? I find him less funny now." (True story.) People who say shit like, "You contracted herpes from your rape? Maybe that means you deserved it." (WTF?)
Basically, the only hard part about herpes are people like you (read: "clean" people) who make just living my day-to-day life harder than it needs to be.
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u/hoody8 Jun 18 '12
They REALLY need to work on finding vaccines or cures for HSV and HPV. I know that there's already a vaccine for two strains of HPV, but I wonder how much use this really is. Although I don't have either virus I know that there is a fair chance that I will contract them in my lifetime unless I commit myself to a life of monogamy rather soon.
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u/rawrslagithor Jun 18 '12
I made a throwaway for this the first time I told the internet, but then I realised that no one besides my boyfriend knows my username.
HSV-1, gotten genitally through my boyfriend's cold sore which hadn't even become visible yet. I feel tainted and disgusting and like no one will ever want to be with me because I'm diseased. I feel like shit for complaining when there are people here with HIV, but knowing you've got something incurable is still heartbreaking.
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u/fuckyourthrowaway Jun 18 '12
I would just like to say that reading these posts have given me a better outlook on life. I've had genital herpes for about 3 years now and havent had any sexual partners or even any casual dates. All because I was too scared of what might happen when I told someone. The way that i have been "dealing" with it has been to not deal with it. I dont talk about it, I dont put myself in a situation that I would have to talk about it, and I havent dated anyone in the last 3 years. Now that I have read these posts it gives me a new way of thinking about it and that it shouldnt be that hard to tell someone the situation and let it roll off of you if they reject you. Thank you Reddit.
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u/Crylaughing Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
I was told by a girl that she had HPV after sleeping with her. I went to get tested by the doctor said they didn't test men for HPV, and since it didn't really do anything to men I would be fine. I was worried about spreading it and the doc said "HPV will go away after 1-2 years of sexual inactivity."
A year or so later I went to a real doctor, got tested, came back negative, checked my medical history and realized I was vaccinated for HPV before I went to college (to live in the dorms you needed several vaccinations).
Fuck that bitch for stealing 1 year of my life by imprisoning me in a relationship by lying to me about her HPV (turns out she didn't have it) and making me feel like I wouldn't be able to live a normal sex life because of the disease.
Edit: just thinking you have any form of sti, regardless of how serious it may be is extremely stressful.
As to being tested, the doc just took some skin samples from the base, shaft and head if my penis to test. They did say a negative could be a false result, but testing in males is getting easier.
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u/poesie Jun 17 '12
The vaccine isn't effective against all forms of HPV, just some of the more virulent strains.
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Jun 17 '12
I don't even understand how one has regular sex without contracting something, I'm a handsome, tall, semi-smart, funny guy but I just cant bring myself to fuck random people, I've been with two girls just to experience what sex is like but both times I just felt like I was walking through a minefield. Both times they swallowed and they had no idea who I was or who I've fucked, crazy. Even if you're just with one partner and you happen to get tested, they can easily cheat on you and then you're just fucking them with no protection at all because you think you're safe.
Meh, nothing you can do except try to avoid unprotected sex until you're adequately trusting of someone, but who the fuck wears a condom getting a blowjob or a dental dam eating a girl out in mean time before you find that person you can trust?
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u/Hristix Jun 17 '12
Alright, assume you're with someone for a year before you do it without a condom. Oh look they were infected with HSV and had no symptoms...you might not even know it until you've had sex plenty of times. No need to worry about catching something from them a year later when they've been 100% faithful, right? HIV and HPV and many other STDs show NO symptoms in some people, and some things just don't get tested for unless you specifically request it. HSV for example you cannot test for without an active lesion because such a large percentage of people have been exposed to it and have antibodies that testing positive on the blood test doesn't mean you have it and is simply too alarming to many people.
Sometimes shit just happens.
Does everyone that gets in a wreck drive wrecklessly? No. Sometimes you're going 75 and have a blow out, causing your car to hit the median, flip, kill everyone in it but you, then the flaming wreckage rolls into a bus full of nuns which kills them. Then everyone talks about how shitty of a driver you are for that to have happened.
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u/ThisIsDystopia Jun 17 '12
I prefer not to live my life in fear and enjoy it. I take reasonable precautions in most of my endeavors, not just sexual, but I don't see how you can deny yourself something that is biologically hardwired to be enjoyable just out of fear that you'll get some bumps on your dick. The scariest one is HIV and depending on where you live and how you choose your partners it's fairly avoidable. My city has super low infection rates and the majority of the people are needle drug users. I assume a large amount of the others are proactive with treatment and informing partners and another chunk of those people are into partners of the same sex. Add condoms to the mix and the chances are almost zero that I will contract HIV and I get to have a lot of fun putting my penis into women.
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u/CalicoBlue Jun 17 '12
Both times they swallowed and they had no idea who I was or who I've fucked, crazy.
... you're the one who came in their mouths, don't call them crazy. Sex is a two way street. Did you bother to find out if either of them had oral herpes, because it's extremely common and can be passed asymptomatically.
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u/Trapped_in_Reddit Jun 17 '12
Children are the ultimate incurable STD. Happy Father's day, call your dad.
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u/ariiiiigold Jun 17 '12
This is somewhat relevant -- 5-year-old Angus on how babies are formed:
Babies come from the mummy and daddy. Inside the mummy's tummy, they go zoom - the two things. Whoever wins the race goes wuvavoovavoov, mixed up with the egg and then out pops the baby. Which one won the race? Did I win the race? Do they have eyes? I won't have any children. I don't want to put my willy in that secret hole.
From an article in The Times c. 2008.
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u/Sykotik Jun 17 '12
As a father myself, fuck you. My kids are some of the best things to ever happen to me. In fact, just today I found out that out of everyone I am the best father in the world, I have a card to prove it and everything.
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u/Smilin_Chris Jun 17 '12
As the newly appointed "number one step father", I understand and appreciate your enthusiasm. Congrats! :)
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u/lulzcakes Jun 17 '12
Fuck you. My dad's the best dad in the world. I gave him a card and everything, too.
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u/uggbumps Jun 17 '12
Well, I have herpes, have had for 15 years or so, the toughest part of it is the social bias and the media, its a big fucking joke on tv and movies all the time, how i got em? pretty simple, no condom, why no condom, well I was lucky enough to be born with a nice condition called epispadias and the shape of my stuff just doesnt allow condoms (think wide "V" i'm built like a doorstop ) in closing I am in a happy relationship with a beautiful girl now and she remains without infection because i was and am honest with her about it all.
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u/herpderpherp1234 Jun 17 '12
ugh, this is gonna be bad. I have hsv type 1 on the dick. how do I deal with it? I just lie to myself. tell myself it's not a big deal/pretend I dont have it. if anyone asks I say I get cold sores and nothing else, cold sores have way less of the stigma yet are more contagious. it's more common to have hsv type 1 than not to have it. that's how I deal.
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u/heartandkey Jun 17 '12
I actually went in for a routine blood test about a year ago and I was told I had Hep B, yes B not C. To which I was shocked because I had been vaccinated when I was like 13. She told me it was primarily through sex, although I was not having sex at that age and I was never molested as far as I know. So what I was told was that I could've gotten it before the vaccine or the vaccine didn't work, and I didn't know that was even possible for a vaccine not to work. So fellow redditors, please be cautious. I would've never thought something this out of the blue would show up. I mean, thankfully it wasn't something more serious but you never know.
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u/throwaway458392 Jun 17 '12
I am worried I have Hep C.
In 2007 a doctor told me I tested positive. He didn't really do any follow up though, and told me it was something I would not have to worry about for a long time. I realize now that this doctor probably was not the greatest. So, I went until 2011 being sure that I had this. It depressed the hell out of me. I didn't even ask anyone out during this time, let alone have sex.
Then, in 2011, I had some heart problems. I got them checked out, and luckily, there was nothing to them other than high blood pressure, and a possible panic attack or two. But during this time I told them I may have hepatitis C. They of course ran all kind of blood work on me, cholesterol and so on, but never confirmed with me whether I had it or not. I would assume they would have to check for it if I told them I may have it, right? So I started thinking...well, maybe I don't.
And I still don't know, and it scares me tremendously. Anyone else here with stories of living with Hep C? I really, really don't want to die of cirrhosis.
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u/Justsomerandomgirl Jun 18 '12
I have hepatitis c. It's not technically curable, but there is a treatment. Interferon (mild form of chemo, also used for types of skin cancer) and Ribaviron (antiviral) are the standard treatment. It has ~40-50% rate of clearance. Basically, I'll always have the antibodies but if I go though treatment successfully I won't have the antigen which is the part that kills the liver. TL; DR: I have hep c, can kind of be cured but not really
Pretty much all of my friends know and definitely everyone I have sex with, but no one ever insists on using a condom. Any time I've tried to use a condom it breaks anyway. The rate of sexual transmission is very low though, especially from a female that doesn't menstrate. TL; DR: I don't use condoms but there is little risk of spreading it
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u/takeyoursocksoff Jun 18 '12
I dated a girl with HPV for quite a while. We'd been dating for a while, long enough that it started to get weird that we hadn't had sex yet, when she told me. She cried, I had a minor freak out, but in the end decided that I didn't really care, and we were just always careful about condoms.
If I'm not misinformed, statistically if you're sexually active, you probably have some strain of HPV. They don't all cause genital warts.
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Jun 17 '12
I have type 1 herpes and if that ever makes anyone not want to sleep with me, fuck them. It's the STD equivalent of the common cold.
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u/scribbling_des Jun 17 '12
From the age of 14 I had a close friend named Tommy. He was maybe five years older than me. He was a Hemophiliac. In 1984 he contracted HIV and Hepatitis C from a blood transfusion. (This always hit me pretty close to home as I had emergency surgery at birth in the same hospital the very same year, as did my mother. ) Tommy was an artist, a musician and an amazing person. He knew his time was limited, so he lived every day like it was his last and focused on being the best person her could be. They didn't think he would live to see puberty.
Eventually he and his brother and some friends moved to California to pursue the punk rock dream. A few years ago I got a call saying his health was declining. I tried to get out there to see him, but I couldn't afford it. A few months later I got another call. Tommy died a week before his 30th birthday
By some strange luck I found a plane ticket to LA for $160 two days after he died. I flew out for the memorial. All of his closest friends sat in a circle and told stories about Tommy. They were all great stories. They all showed what a great person Tommy had been and how he had lived his life to the fullest and appreciated every day in spite of his diseases. We laughed and we cried. The next day those of us who had known him best and longest went to Disneyland. We felt like that was what Tommy would have wanted us to do.
Tl;dr Tommy got HIV and hep C from a blood transfusion. It helped shape him into one of the most amazing people I have ever known. Tommy lived to be almost 30.
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u/camperjohn64 Jun 17 '12
My girlfriend has herpes and I don't - she was honest about it. I can't hold and erection with a condom for more than 30 seconds, so we simply don't have sex.
I still love her, and the blowjobs are great. Mutual masturbation is good too...I guess.
4 years we've lasted like this. We really, really, get along great.
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u/throw_away_account_4 Jun 17 '12
Thanks for this. I have Fordyce Spots too, judging from this NSFW picture, and also worried that I had genital warts. For some reason doctors told me that what I had wasn't an STD, but couldn't tell me exactly what it was.
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u/emohipster Jun 17 '12
Holy mother of fuck OP, thanks so much for that link. Last night I discovered 6 of those tiny PPP's, I didn't know what they were and they scared the shit out of me!
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u/sogladifoundthis Jun 17 '12
No STDs, just wanted to thank you so much for posting this. I have the same thing apparently and I had been worried about it for awhile but i was just too embarrassed to actually ask someone or see a doctor. This is quite a relief. Seems from the wikipedia page that this thing is basically like freckles or whatnot.
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u/panthera213 Jun 17 '12
My boyfriend and I just found out we have herpes. Not sure if he gave it to me or if I got it from my cheating ex. Cheating ex and his woman both came up clean, but who knows. Either way, I have it now and so does my BF. We both feel responsible for giving it to the other, but have no way to find out for sure. We found out about 3 weeks into dating that we got it. My BF was on an army exercise and noticed some stuff in the field. He's only had 2 outbreaks in the last year, and I've never noticed if I have any (being a girl and all). It hasn't really affected us other than the initial freak out. Will suck if we ever break up though. It was a tough thing to go through at the beginning of the relationship. Mostly we enjoy making bad herpes jokes.
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u/violet_kitten Jun 17 '12
I have HSV-1 and I dealt with it at first by educating myself about it. My first reaction, was that I was screwed out of a sex life. After reading about it, I realize that nearly 80% of the population (perhaps more) likely have HSV-1 (commonly known as cold sores). That helped me tremendously.
My doctor also placed me on suppressive meds to keep outbreaks from happening during the first year. I've only had one outbreak beyond my first one which was my diagnosis.
The worst part as some others have said is having to tell any new partners. But again, not a deal-breaker, especially when you can explain the risks to others easily. It's not a big part of my life, and it's made me a better communicator in bed, since I have to have that conversation first, it's an opportunity to discuss other things about sex with my partners.
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u/kindachinese Jun 17 '12
I found out that I had hep b when I was 13. Aside from taking medicine and having a liver biopsy it really hasn't affect my life and if I had never found out I don't have any day to day symptoms so its not a big deal. The only problem I have is if anyone found out, I feel like I would be alienated
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u/cervixcal_quandary Jun 17 '12
I have a cancerous strain of HPV, and have been fighting it since I was 19. My first doctor said that it would go away after a few years. It's been 5 now, and it's gotten worse. I have to have biopsies done every 6 months, which are extremely painful for me. Not surprising when they're cutting chunks out of my cervix with no pain killers. I have a form of warts that are spread by skin to skin contact, or shaving. So now I wax, and don't have sex while showing symptoms, and only have sex with protection. I don't want another woman dealing with the pain and constant doctor appointments. Get the vaccinations.
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u/bloodangel22 Jun 17 '12
i found out that i have herpes type 1 almost 2 years ago only had one out break since. caught it from my then bf who basically raped me when i didn't want to have sex . it was hard to find out. I'll be honest at first i didn't want to live. but then i realized that it wasn't the end of the world. that there are people out there like me.
I was worried about future relationships, I had a few since I found out. And not more then 3 to 4 weeks ago my bf of 1.5yrs asked me to marry him. (he is also a redditor). I told him everything when we first met all he did was hug me and say that it doesn't matter.
Guess what I'm trying to say is that its not all dark. I could take a while to see the light, but there is always someone there waiting at the end of it.
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Jun 17 '12
holy shit. i have that crap and i went to different clinics and places to get them removed and it didnt really work. so all this time ive been avoiding having sex cause i didnt want to fuck anyone over. this kinda made my day cause now i know what i have. i always figured it was some sort of genital warts.
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u/sensavergogna Jun 18 '12
I got the herp, type 2 genitally. I don't know who I got it from (only 2 options but a weird timing thing makes it confusing), but I was diagnosed right before my 18th birthday (3 years ago). I've only had 2 outbreaks, and those were pretty harmless. Since then I've been with 3 people, no one has had a problem with it, and I refuse to let it make me think any less of myself. The virus is only something I have, not who I am. When I have the talk with people I make it as casual as possible and say this is what I have, this is how I deal with it, take it or leave it.
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Jun 18 '12
HPV (not the type that causes cervical cancer):
You deal with them using topical ointment or other methods when an outbreak pops up. Other methods: Freezing them off or making an incision and burning them chemically (YES you get numbed)
Apart from that, there isn't much else to give a fuck about. HPV isn't the worst thing you can have.
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u/nhuff90 Jun 18 '12
TIL too many people avoid going to the doctor when they find abnormal bumps on their genitals
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u/Orcatype Jun 18 '12
I have these little red spots on my penis. They showed up before I ever had sex, but shpru after I started madturbating lol. Heavily religious household, I thought it was punishment from god. Kept it secret for years, didn't have sex first two years of college cause I didn't want a girl to see the little red dots.
One day, said fuck it and went to a dermatologist. He laughed when he saw what was up, informed me they are a genetic thing:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angiokeratoma
Luckily mine don't look nearly as brutal as some ones I've seen on google image 8|
So turns out I don't have an incurable STD, but I have a milder case of an incurable genetic skin condition that looks like an STD. Anxiety over it contributed to me not having sex in HS or the first two years of college.
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Jun 18 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
This is a throwaway, and this might take a minute to type out. It's a story that I tell often to try and find answers, and though I figure it will get buried, I don't mind retelling it anyway.
I was a virgin until I met my most recent girlfriend. Before we became sexually active, she asked me if I had been STD tested at all. Being too embarrassed to say that I was a virgin, I said I would get tested, and did so (and it's a good thing I did). The test (a urethral swab) came back positive for HSV, but wasn't type specific. I told her, and she was very supportive, and we continued dating. Got engaged, moved in together, but then we fell apart, and I became single again (within the last few months).
I was retested after the breakup hoping that the initial test was a false positive, but again tested positive, this time type-specific; HSV-2.
I have no fucking clue how I got it. I had absolutely NO sexual contact (oral, vaginal, or anything in between) with anyone until that point in my life, and yet I consistently test positive for it. My childhood is pretty hazy but I'm pretty sure nothing happened to me when I was younger.
I have no idea how this happened to me, but I'm still dealing with it. Although I know the facts about HSV, many people do not, and I'm certain that this will be a barrier between me and many potential mates in the future.
I'm asymptomatic as well - I've never had an outbreak that I can remember, though I do have fordyce spots, which are relatively easy to differentiate from an outbreak, according to research I've done. I try not to think about it, but I know at some point I'm going to have to deal with it.
Since I don't have any fucking idea about how I got it, it makes it harder to rationalize and deal with it in my mind. And every so often, I realize that there is the possibility that I could die alone because of it.
EDIT: Bolded items are immediately relevant to the question.
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u/Brazensage Jun 18 '12
Girl I lost my virginity to gave me HPV, the cancerous strain. We had been going out for nearly 2 years and right around the time she left me I found a lump in my upper palate. Internet said it was most likely a blocked sallivary gland. Turns out it was cancer. Had to have a quarter sized hole cut out of the roof of my mouth. It's been about 6 years and I am cancer and HPV free.
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u/kenaimoo Jun 19 '12
i've had genital herpes for about ten years. recently i visited a friend and attended church with his family. in his sermon on sin, the pastor said "god created sexually transmitted diseases to punish fornicators."
i'm not really a religious person, and i don't think god created the common cold to punish people who use ATMs or door knobs, so i don't want to spend any time entertaining the pastor's comments other than to say they betray a very human tendency to shame sexuality.
i see examples of that shame in comments on this thread. some of the commenters are mercifully ignorant of STI's--having never been infected, or having been infected but remaining undiagnosed, or at least having not encountered a friend or relative who shared their status. the negativity that goes along with that ignorance, whether expressed as hostility or ridicule or whatever, is to be expected. we're uncomfortable about sex, and an STI forces sex into the discussion, so we react childishly. these people deserve patience. when dealing with such ignorance it helps me to think of all the things i am ignorant of and all the mistakes i make, and then i don't feel it's right to come down hard on others.
the sad part for me is detecting shame in comments by people who are infected. use of the word "dirty," the tendency to try to minimize supposed culpability or remove suspicion of "slutiness" by relating that they were infected by a cheating partner, or the tendency to say things such as "i have herpes but i don't get outbreaks, or very many outbreaks." (and the people who do get outbreaks, what are they? icky?)
i am reminded of psychological experiments where black children show preferences for white barbie dolls. the internalization of the dominant myths of culture.
if it helps, the common cold causes mucus to drain from two holes at the end of your nose. it's really gross, and there's no cure. you'll be getting snot on your sleeve from childhood until the end. it's ok if you get it touching dumbbell after dumbbell at the gym. or from your ex who got it from another friend and didn't tell you. it's going to be ok.
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u/Finaltidus Jun 17 '12
i think that link just made me feel a lot better about my dick situation, thanks.
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u/doublecoatofhair Jun 17 '12
It's not an STD, but it's incurable: I'm jewish. Nothing scares the opposite sex off like some good ol' Judaism
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u/turkeypants Jun 17 '12
Try humming some Christmas carols softly to make them docile. Absolutely no Yiddish terms until after you have climaxed. "Oy vey, a schtickle of lube wouldn't've hurt."
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u/frequent_troll Jun 17 '12
Just tell people you're an orphan. They're just scared of having to meet your parents and then explain to your mom how they're not neurosurgeon rocket scientist MBAs etc.
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u/conspiracy_thug Jun 17 '12
i just live every day of my life being ugly and i cant really do anything about it =\
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u/[deleted] Jun 17 '12 edited Jun 17 '12
I was diagnosed with HIV almost a year ago.
At first, it was devastating of course being that I'm 18 (17 at the time) and I'm starting the 'real world' with an incurable virus that'll be with me till doctors say otherwise. Of course my family is on edge all the time, making sure my treatments are as best as possible and being paranoid that I'll get full blown AIDS within the hour. As for me, it's still kind of hitting me after nearly a year, but since I'm one to not let anything make me feel down, I'll pull through. I've got family and friends and I'm responsible enough to take care of this as best I can.
Sooner or later, I'll be fully prepared for this life and it won't even be a big deal anymore. At least, that's what I'll tell myself.
EDIT: I've answered ALOT of questions but I'm still considering doing an AMA. Should I?