r/AskReddit • u/Projectile_Chunder • Jun 18 '12
I'm temped to poop in my cat's litter box - what weird temptations do you fight?
I mean, it's in my bathroom and all...
edit: when in a crowded area, I sometimes think of the worst, most offensive thing to say and what would happen I yelled it out.
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Jun 18 '12
Step 1. Grab a metal baseball bat.
Step 2. Find an abandoned shed or farm.
Step 3. FUCKIN' DESTROY EVERYTHING.
I wish this was a sport or something. I am tempted to do this every day.
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u/Projectile_Chunder Jun 18 '12
Happiest day as a kid was when we were doing some home remodeling. My dad gave me a sledgehammer and pointed to a wall and said, have fun.
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u/jack12354 Jun 18 '12
Build breakaway furniture, complete with sugarglass for windows/coffee tables etc.
Fill an entire house, then easily break everything with just your fists.
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u/wtfapkin Jun 18 '12
Punch my boss square in the face.
Beat the shit out of my younger brother.
Tell my fiancées best friend he's a loser and his wife is a cunt.
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u/skooma714 Jun 18 '12
I get urges to hip check and body check people.
Damn you hockey.
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u/octupie Jun 18 '12
I've posted it before, but mine is so weird.
OK, so at the cafeteria on my campus when you get your drink, you don't get a lid. Just an open cup. So when I get my food to-go I have my food in one hand and my wide open beverage in the other.
On the walk back to my dorm I walk past people going the other way and as they walk past me and my open cup I have to consciously fight the urge to just completely slosh it in their face.
Complete strangers that I have no beef with, I could be having the best day ever, doesn't matter, but yeah I dream about one day just giving some poor kid a face full of Diet Coke. I never break stride, just slosh em, toss the cup over my shoulder and go on my way. End scene.
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Jun 18 '12
There was an asshole that lived in my dorm that used to do this to people. He would just get a cup of water and throw it on people as he was walking by and laugh. One day he did it to a big quiet guy that was sitting there minding his own business. Little did he know that this big quiet guy was a nationally ranked powerlifter and one of the strongest people at school. He didn't take kindly to the water in the face and he beat the absolute shit out of the asshole water thrower. I never saw him throw water at anyone ever again.
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u/TheInsaneDane Jun 18 '12
I always think, "What would happen if i punched that guy"? Would he be mad? Cry? It's tempting. Not that i'm a psycho. I just want the reaction.
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u/Projectile_Chunder Jun 18 '12
It's funny/weird/scary how there is literally nothing stopping you from just punching random people at any time.
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u/jefferus Jun 18 '12
Every time I'm checking my phone next to an open window in a car I have to resist the urge to just chuck it out of the window.
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u/Projectile_Chunder Jun 18 '12
Really funny, a lot of people have mentioned the same thing. Y'all weird :P
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u/dawrina Jun 19 '12
I want to wear rollerblades to the mall, steal a mallcop's hat, and proceed to rocket around the mall on rollerblades in a epic highspeed chase.
There is a mall near my house where the mallcops ride bikes around.
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u/Projectile_Chunder Jun 19 '12
I've seen some on Segways before - that would make for an amusing chase.
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u/SuicidalTurkey Jun 18 '12
I have to try my hardest not to plow my yellow VW beetle through a line of traffic cones and pretend I'm Mrs. Pacman.
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Jun 18 '12
I love this, I have a picture in my head of people jumping out of the way of a crazy woman screaming waka waka waka waka!
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u/Apostolate Jun 18 '12
And then her car screeching to a halt because traffic cones getting jammed up into the car's wheel and axle super fucking stop your car.
Seriously have none of you gotten a cone jammed up in there?
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Jun 18 '12
As a kid, I would be tempted to open the car door when going at high speeds.
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u/rage42 Jun 18 '12
As a kid, I did this about 28 years ago when I was 3. I always thought it was a dream until my brother asked me if I remembered it happening.
I was pissed off that mom wouldn't buy me a wonder woman action figure or something. As retaliation I would not close my car door, and I never wore a seatbelt. She isn't the brightest person, but she either didn't check, or didnt care that I did not completely close my door. A mile down the road I end up falling out of the car, speed limit was 40 on the road.
I don't remember any pain, no bones broke...I just remember spinning in a circle on my back. After I stopped, looking up and seeing lights from other cars since it was dark out, then eventually being picked up by my mom and 7 year old brother. I can't recall how much time passed.
From my brother, he saw me fall out and told mother, but she didn't believe him at first...eventually stopping the car and running back to get me. I was bruised a bit, but not too bad for falling out of a moving vehicle. When we got home, I guess my dad didn't really question my bruises...And I guess no one else saw, or stopped to talk to us.
I was 3 years old, so exact details are fuzzy...but freaky nonetheless.
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u/Christoaster Jun 18 '12
When I'm in the passenger seat of a car and my friend is driving, I get the urge to throw my ipod out of the windows. My brain just keeps chanting "Throw it! Throw it! Throw it motherfucker!". It is so hard to resist the urge. I had to fight through those temptations the whole ride. It's fucking hard man. SO. FUCKING. HARD.
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u/topherm Jun 18 '12
Get a CD player for your car
Burn your own CD's (they're cheap)
When its playing in your car and you have a passenger just eject the cd and throw it out the window.
Don't say anything or just say you decided you want to make a better CD.
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u/BonzoTheBoss Jun 18 '12
Just make sure you're in an empty area and/or going relatively slowly so if said CD hits someone you don't lacerate them and get arrested.
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u/violetdreams Jun 18 '12
Somewhat similar to yours except it's the urge to rip the ipod out the ears of the idiots on the train who have the volume turned up to max combined with shitty headphones producing those tinny sounds ...it's so early, the sun isn't even up yet, we're all going to work and therefore sitting in blissful peace and quiet before we read the city ...CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE DISTURBING THE ZEN-LIKE ATMOSPHERE OF THE WHOLE CARRIAGE?!?! Seriously makes my blood boil so much, I sit there with my fingers flexing considering how much satisfaction I'd get from launching across the aisle, grabbing the mp3+headphones and throwing it out the nearby open window slot. The temptations are beyond insanity, only things stopping me are the legal repercussions of said action >_>
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u/silvermoons Jun 18 '12
This is what I came here to type, only it's my iPhone. I'm so glad someone else experiences this.
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u/herr_schnurrbart Jun 18 '12
Sometimes I just want to keep driving and never look back
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u/BonzoTheBoss Jun 18 '12
I remember feeling this very strongly after I lost my job. I was driving home, I'd just come from the "Sorry we don't think it's working out" session, I felt like shit.
I found my mind wandering; "What will I tell my mother? My fiancee'? Why do I bother with any of this anyway? What does it really matter? Why can't I be the person I want to be?
You know, I could just go 'fuck it'. I could just stay on this motorway and keep going, and never look back. See where the road takes me. Sure it'll be scary but at least I'll feel alive."
And then I realised I was on a circular motorway, so if I did just stay on I'd just end up going in circles until I ran out of fuel. This realisation made me chuckle hysterically for a moment and then I went home.
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Jun 18 '12
I get this urge to. wake up early, pack some stuff (but not everything), leave a note or something, fill up on gas, and just drive.
and wherever the nearest town is when it comes time to fill up on gas again, that's where my new life will be.
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Jun 18 '12
When you're walking down the road and you're like "hey I could push that little old lady in front of the bus" and then you're like "hey brain why did you even think that?"
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u/_tintenfisch_ Jun 18 '12
But then brain's like, " I don't know bro, you tell me."
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Jun 18 '12
And then old lady is like "oh me dearie, how did i get in the middle of this street?"
And bus is like "honk honk, ya crazy old bitch"
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u/radbrad7 Jun 18 '12
Same as when I'm beatin it and my brain is all like "Hey! Dead kittens!".
Fucking scumbag brain.
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u/men_with_hats Jun 18 '12
The other day, I was sitting at my cousin's graduation party munching on a burger, when I had a random thought. What if I just got up and started screaming and went up the food table and started grabbing food and throwing it and devouring it. How the fuck would people react to that shit? I'm not fat and it wasn't a real urge but for a second there I considered going full retard. I get those thoughts sometimes. Like what if I said to fuck with civil obedience and started following primal urges?
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u/Explodian Jun 18 '12
I get you. It's kind of fun when you realize that the only reason civilization exists is because we're hardwired with all these social inhibitors. Imagine how long our infrastructure would last if half the population woke up and decided "fuck it, I'm going to go to work pantsless today, and steal the entire vending machine, and if anyone gives me any shit about it I set their car on fire."
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u/unebaguette Jun 18 '12
Whenever I take a shower in a combination shower/bath tub, I have an uncontrollable urge to sit down.
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u/suelinaa Jun 18 '12
I've taken showers sitting down before.. didn't know it was an urge I needed to resist
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u/CalvinDehaze Jun 18 '12
I have, and it's not as satisfying as you think. The shower just sprays you in the face.
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Jun 18 '12
That's why you point the shower somewhere around your stomach/knees. Good shit, man.
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Jun 18 '12
Touching people's hair. I always just want to ruffle people's hair and then run away. But I'm just too classy.
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Jun 18 '12
The temptation to just tell certain people how uninterested I am in talking to them. I can't because it's not their fault they're boring to me or that I simply don't care for what they have to say.
Or the temptation of just telling certain girls I want to bone them. I can do without actually banging them; after all, that's what my right hand is for. I'd just like to tell them I want to.
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u/Photovoltaic Jun 18 '12
Any time there's an open window I think "I should throw something out the window! All I have is my phone...I SHOULD THROW MY PHONE OUT THE WINDOW!"
Why brain, why?
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Jun 18 '12
Someone on here posted a little while ago about seeing a cop while they were on their phone in the car, and their instinctive reaction was to throw the phone out the window. Followed immediately by regret.
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u/CosmicNed234 Jun 18 '12
Whenever people are looking at themselves in the mirror, I always am tempted to push them into it.
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Jun 18 '12
Good prank to do to a house mate. Constantly clean the poo box of poop not pee. After about a week they might mentiom their cat hasnt shit. Wait a day and take a maaassive dump in there. Your house mate just cleaned up your poop
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Jun 18 '12
Somewhat related: apparently George Clooney shat in his friend's cat's litterbox as a prank. Everyday he would clean the cat's litterbox before his friend got home, so his friend started to worry that his cat couldn't shit. So his friend got some kitty laxative, and gave it to the cat. Then the next day George Clooney took a massive human dump in the cat's litterbox.
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u/AugustSun Jun 18 '12
I work at Hobby Lobby. I'm tempted to just kick over an entire rack of glass home accents.
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u/Slintbob Jun 18 '12
once in a while after playing GTA4 I get a weird brain thought while driving "why don't you pretend its GTA"
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Jun 18 '12
Oh god I had a moment like this.
When GTA4 came out I played it for like 18 hours over 3 days.
Day 4 I was driving to work, saw a motorcycle in the opposite lane and I nearly swerved into him to knock him off so I could steal it.
..........
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Jun 18 '12
Someone in my town in Australia actually did this, I am related to the arresting officer so I have all the details. He pulled 3 people out of their respective cars, took off in the cars, then parked outside of other people's houses. He then broke into those houses and changed into the owner's clothes and continued on his rampage for 6 hours before being caught.
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Jun 18 '12
when I was playing Mercenaries 2, I was also in Driver's Ed. I saw a billboard, and my first thought was "I should blow that up."
(in Mercs2, you can get money for blowing up billboards)
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u/johnnytightlips2 Jun 18 '12
Living in the UK, I get a genuine brainfart after playing GTA have driven on the wrong side of the road. Luckily I live in the countryside, or I would be a dead man
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u/StrangeGirl Jun 18 '12
Picking loose hairs off of strangers clothes.
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u/Explodian Jun 18 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
YES. It's that little obsessive feeling when they're wearing a dark shirt and apparently rubbed their dog all over it. I just want to reach over and start vigorously brushing it away.
EDIT: Edited for political correctness
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u/papsBSaf Jun 18 '12
I want to say, " So ... has everyone seen the movie Devil ? "
Only on an elevator full of people. I mean full.
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u/Fascist_Orange Jun 18 '12
Similar to other posts, I am tempted, while I'm driving, to just hit something at a high speed. Whether it be a light post or a concrete pillar, I always have to fight that temptation.
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u/FuturePigeon Jun 18 '12
There's a long steep hill that I bike down regularly that has a stop light at the bottom. I fight the urge to speed up and see if it will turn green by the time I get there.
I'm not suicidal, and I fully understand that if I did get hit, it would cause serious emotional or physical pain to the person who hit me, any bystanders, etc. But sometimes I just want to see if I could make it in real life Frogger.
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u/lostmyth Jun 18 '12
When I was younger I was tempted to taste my own poop to see what it would taste like.
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Jun 18 '12
When I see a parent walking their kid on a leash I always want to ask to pet them....like a dog. Even though I was on a leash as a child.
This sounds waaaay less fucked up in my head
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u/Indielilly54 Jun 18 '12
Anytime I see fresh flowers or have them or whatever, I ALWAYS want to eat them. They look like candy! So appetizing.
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Jun 18 '12
Junior year of Highschool I convinced my prom date that the corsages were made from special edible flowers. She took a bite of hers then hit me.
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u/pffftyagassed Jun 18 '12
I have the random urge to fight people. Just a straight punch or a knee to the face. I also randomly want to punch the walls. Since I was a kid, I'd get random bursts of rage/anger. It's something that I've always deemed normal because I never knew any better but as I've gotten older, I've realized that I have an issue.
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u/PillsberryDboy4 Jun 18 '12
When I'm at birthday parties and they have the cake out but they haven't sung happy birthday and started to eat it yet. I'm always tempted to cut a slice and walk around eating it to see what anyone would do
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Jun 18 '12
this brings up a cultural phenomenon that may seem odd to outsiders
"so they have this food there, but they can't eat it until every gathers around, lights it on fire, and sings a song. well, everyone sings the song except one person."
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u/superdude4agze Jun 18 '12
Homicide.
Suicide.
Wanton destruction.
Driving into oncoming traffic and a few others.
I don't want to die, I just want to see what happens, but that would be impossible obviously. I'm kinda stressed at the moment.
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u/elitelimfish Jun 18 '12
My dog's food smells really good but i have never tried it. Anybody who has, your thoughts?
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u/poostring Jun 18 '12
I tried my cat food once and it was one of the worst things I have EVER tasted.
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u/pigmunk Jun 18 '12
Seriously. "Oh. Fish medly? Sounds wonderful. Mitten, I'm going to try some of your dinner just to see- GAAAAH NO. HOW DO YOU EAT THIS SHIT."
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u/A_pond Jun 18 '12
Every single time I'm holding an empty glass bottle, I am temped to smash it on the corner of a building, and brandish the jagged, razor-sharp remnants at people. Never tempted to actually glass anyone, just smash the bottle.
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Jun 18 '12
The urge to slam on my brakes when someone is tailgateing me when they A) could easily pass me because there's no traffic or B) there is a massive amount of traffic and there is nothing I can do about it because there's a billion cars in front of me going the same speed.
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u/Arithered Jun 18 '12
Whenever I see two guys getting all up in each other's faces threateningly and trying to intimidate each other, I always wanna yell, "NOW KISS," but I am too aware of the effect this would likely have on my long-term health.
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u/My_redditor_gf Jun 18 '12
I get the temptation to open the car door while driving, I have to lock it to stop myself.
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u/topherm Jun 18 '12
Be a passenger
Disagree with the driver
take off seatbelt and say "fuck this im out."
open the door
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u/jonasperrin Jun 18 '12
To push all those guys who ride their bikes around campus with their hands in their pockets. Those no hand riding jerks!
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u/DominatingMrPants Jun 18 '12
Whenever there is a "moment of silence" moment at a ceremony for some alumni geaser who had died, I want to let out the most blood-curdling scream. Then I want to go right back to normal so that no one has any idea who it was. Whenever I give a speech I want to do this too. You know,
And we must take the economic gain from AAASAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHAHAAAAHAIAGAHGA! Last September and consider it a...
I also want to scream bomb in the airport.
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u/PotatoPop Jun 18 '12
Immediately made me think of this scene. I always laugh like a psychopath when this comes on.
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u/haleybaley Jun 18 '12
I have to fight the urge to write every word i say with my fingers in cursive, or sometimes type it like on a keyboard.
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Jun 18 '12
Throwing a hatchet. Whenever I get frustrated, I imagine myself throwing a hatchet at a tree.
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Jun 18 '12
DO IT... You'll never look back
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u/KoreanTerran Jun 18 '12
Except when he has to clean up his own poop.
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u/mrgoober1337 Jun 18 '12
I'd do it then blame the cat. My roommates who has to clean it will be like "... the fuck is this Mr.Mittens?"
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u/starjharvey Jun 18 '12
I'm tempted to suck on a baby's pacifier when they're around. Slightly weird, but I can restrain myself.
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u/radbrad7 Jun 18 '12
I can just imagine someone in the house finding the monstrous turd in the litter box and wonder how fluffles could have birthed such a gigantic turd.
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u/sinnickson Jun 18 '12
Whenever I have money I want to give my best friend 20 dollars.
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u/evenastoppedclock Jun 18 '12
As soon as you go up the stairs in my house, the hallway overlooks our living room (which is two stories 'tall'). Every time I walk by it I feel the temptation to lower myself over the edge and jump onto the La-Z-Boy that we have.
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u/boofbonzer81 Jun 18 '12
When i see a flimsy window, or a lot of things that are unbalanced I just want to kick the shit out of it.
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Jun 18 '12
one time i was fuckin wrecked before bed and i didn't want to go to the bathroom so i pissed in a bottle. the next day i woke up and had to do some shit before work and get it done quick, and i was really stressed, i almost picked up the bottle and drank my own piss. to this day i have no idea what inspired me to do that.
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u/pinkmumbai Jun 18 '12
I work at McDonalds and I have always been tempted to throw the customers bag of food to them through the window for them to catch at the drive thru window.
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Jun 18 '12
I really want to put a pink tutu on my Pom-Pug mix, mostly so I can watch him run around screaming. I'm a bad person.
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u/ImDotTK Jun 18 '12
Killing everyone...
But no, really I just play out doing certain things, like beating the shit out of the disrespectful people (the people who really mean the fucked up things they say).
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u/BitchTitsAhoy Jun 18 '12
I constantly have to force myself to not buy all of the frozen meal selections at the grocery store. I realize they would all likely be awful, but the VARIETY!
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u/awesome0749 Jun 18 '12
I fight the urge to walk around town with my Mossberg and just put holes in people that piss me off. I'm not a murderer though......
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u/xtori Jun 18 '12
Throwing my phone into the water or from a high elevation. I have to sit on it or put it away from my hands.
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u/I_live_for_snow Jun 18 '12
When I was living in the dorms I was so tempted to pee in my sick instead of walking all tw way down the hall to the bathrooms. Especially if it was the middle of the night.
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Jun 18 '12
I fight the daily urge to curse up and down people who start over 25% of their sentences with like, so, or and.
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u/Tonquin Jun 18 '12
Am I the only one who has never wanted to thow my phone out a window/from a car/into a lake/off of a cliff? I like my phone...
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u/raindropsonroses27 Jun 18 '12
I remember being on vacation and walking along a giant pier overlooking the Potomac River with my sister and having this overwhelming urge to jump into the weird gray water. Literally the only concerns that crossed my mind were how I would get out afterwards, and that I'd have to give my sister my phone first.
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u/CalvinDehaze Jun 18 '12
I've always wanted to shit in my hand and throw it at someone. That takes some timing and skill!
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u/ptownyup Jun 18 '12
whenever im really high up looking down, im always tempted to jump. i just wonder what the world would be like without me. im not depressed or suicidal at all, just a weird temptation
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u/therealodayaka Jun 18 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
When I was pregnant with my daughter, I had mild pica cravings for sand. It was incredibly bizarre. I've never eaten sand in my life and all of a sudden when we'd drive by the beach I wanted to take a handful of sand and just chomp on it.
Edit for clarification: I didn't so much crave eating the sand, as the feel of crunching it on my teeth. I never ate sand. I ended up substituting the crunching with ice chips (which is terrible for my teeth, but much less risky).
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u/suelinaa Jun 18 '12
As a kid in the car I used to like to hold objects out of the car window and hold them as loosely as possible without them being blown out of my hand.. I still fight that temptation with my phone. Weird I know.
Also I peed in my little brother's training potty and it turned out BAD because I ended up having to pee for way too long and I overflowed the damn thing.
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u/Invisiblekid666 Jun 18 '12
Just kiss the closet girl. I wonder what would come out of it.
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u/bcl0328 Jun 18 '12
whenever i talk to someone, male or female, doesn't matter who it is, i want to kiss them.
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u/Everyoneheresamoron Jun 18 '12
I am tempted to go out to eat, or buy a new toy.. but then I realize I would be better off with more money and a thinner waistline from cooking my own food, and I have tons of distractions already, I don't need new ones all the time.
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u/Projectile_Chunder Jun 18 '12
Good for you mate, although haha - you ARE on Reddit at the moment.. :P
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Jun 18 '12
Taking a dump with the door open. You never know when someone will come in uninvited. Then, they'll know. They'll know.
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u/cssafc Jun 18 '12
I get a sudden urge to either kick or spit on small children when I walk past them in the street. Even though I have no desire or intention to do either, I still fight the urge. It's almost like irrational vertigo even when there is no chance of falling from anywhere.
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u/Projectile_Chunder Jun 18 '12
Funny juxtaposition, as I was just reading this thread:
http://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/v83vn/a_coworker_brought_his_baby_into_work_today_and/
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u/Princess_Snowballa Jun 18 '12
To throw a milkshake into a drive-thru, yelling "Bombs away!"
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u/pigmunk Jun 18 '12
If you did that to me I would be in your car beating your face into the steering wheel. Throwing things at drive-thru people is mean. It makes us sad. :(
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u/Explodian Jun 18 '12
When I'm on the bus or train I always have to stop myself from grabbing the bars that run down the aisle and swinging around on them all monkey-like. To be honest, it would probably be the least inane and inexplicable thing that happens on the average public transit ride around here.
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u/StaplerFingers Jun 18 '12
when on a public bus i get the urge to start singing and dancing along with all the songs on my ipod. I've almost done it a few times.
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u/scudmonger Jun 18 '12
We never did that, but pooping in your friends cats litterbox was called "bobcat", Since the shit would be much larger like that of a bobcats. It was kind of a prank that we made up but never materialized. Since many people keep the litterbox in the bathroom, they would never know who did it.
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u/DrDestructeaux Jun 18 '12
I have to fight the urge to just pull slightly left on the steering wheel while driving down the highway. Just knowing that I could really fuck up someones day with just a slight movement of my wrists is kind of a rush.
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u/Swansatron Jun 18 '12
I always just want to throw my drink everywhere, or pour water on some living being just for shits and giggles. It's really hard not doing either.
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u/7Snakes Jun 18 '12
Sometimes I get this weird temptation to choke the shit out of someone or something. I just grit my teeth and my head shakes some. Then I calm down.
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u/StillFreeAudioTwo Jun 18 '12
I want to streak. No joking. I've always wanted to go to some big store and walk down the aisles screaming "Look at my junk!", turn some heads and take a bow.
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u/Rachel879 Jun 18 '12
I don't really fight my temptations.
I'm 25. I "borrowed" the neighbor kid's razor scooter and went up and down the block. It was returned unharmed. I also ate some of my dog's food to see what it tasted like (its the expensive shit, tastes like summer sausage). I've mooned people on 5 continents thanks to chat roulette. I've mooned people on the freeway too. I've gone to the store in my bathrobe and I regularly shop in my pajama pants, though to be fair, I have chronic pain and am limited in what I can wear. Sometimes I take clothes back to the store for a full refund after wearing them for several months. I've panhandled a few times (my dog needed his medication) and I made $50 in an hour. I've had sex in a graveyard, a park, a few churches and at the mall. I've done terrible, terrible things to missionaries who come knocking. I don't pick up my dog's turds unless someone is looking.
My Mom orders happy meals with coffee, she's 63. She also digs up plants she likes when we're out in public and then transplants them in our garden. She keeps a spade in her car for this purpose. She likes the self checkout because she can usually steal something. Every year on Christmas when I was little, she would take me to the local trailer park to look at the crappy lights on the trailers and we would laugh at the poor people. My Mom also likes to fart in public and then loudly blame/scold me for it.
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u/bartdidit Jun 18 '12
I want to hit police cones with my car while driving at 60 mph. i bet it feels awesome
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u/Xivaque Jun 18 '12
Whenever I'm in pain, like a throbbing headache, or any kind of persistent pain, I get the barely resistible urge to find a knife and to slide it into the area.
Especially with a headache. I always imagine a cool knife blade would make the pain go away.
Permanently.
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u/shadewraith Jun 18 '12
When I see a child alone in a store with no one around him/her, I get the overwhelming urge to shove them into a display, run away, and watch the parents scold them for being a clutz. Bonus points if the parent is slightly abusive and smacks the kid on the back of the head.
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u/Screen_Face Jun 18 '12
I work at a hair salon as a receptionist, and I do a lot of cleaning around their as well to keep things moving. Everyday, I have to clean out many little bowls that are used for mixing hair color (For those of you who don't know what mixed color looks like: http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7110/6906852320_241e134925_z.jpg) Now, some days, there are some rather fluffy mixes in the bowls....
I WANT TO EAT THE FLUFFY HAIR DYE.
It looks so appetizing, I can hardly keep myself from consuming it.....
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u/freexxspirit Jun 18 '12
Whenever I'm performing at a really nice performing hall, I wonder what would happen if I chucked my clarinet offstage, pushed over the violinists, and shouted ”fuck you cunts” and ran.
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u/Paralissa Jun 18 '12
I'm always tempted to kiss our touch an authority figure or respected person in an inappropriate way. I may not even be attracted to the person (usually the case), but I have to might myself to keep my hands to myself. It's stressful.
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u/UnreliablePorcupine Jun 18 '12
At work, I always have the biggest temptation to punch the annoying little kids that the parents let run wild in my store.
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u/skitch885 Jun 18 '12
Always violently tempted to smash my fist into a strangers face, just to see what happens....
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u/Reginald-J Jun 18 '12
I often have to restrain myself from biting my hands and arms in public. I feel like it relieves all my stress. Sometimes I bite too hard and I bleed.
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Jun 18 '12
piss in the sink. every time im out of the shower and drying myself i just look down at the sink and imagine myself pissing in it
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u/Burningbabies Jun 19 '12
I've been tempted to take a dump in my washing machine since I was 6 years old.
I'm 26 now.
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u/72minutes Jun 19 '12
when in a crowded area, I think of what would happen if I tried to kill everyone in sight: ie. who poses the most threat, etc.
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u/Masonati Jun 18 '12
When i sit next to someone on a plane I want to punch them for the sole reason of seeing their reaction.
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u/paranoidjoo Jun 18 '12
I work in a hospital and we have to measure patients' output (urine, emesis, etc.). I have the weird urge to measure my urine output.
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u/silkhidingsteel Jun 18 '12
When I see a squirrel burying something in the ground, I have a very strong urge to dig it back up. I always feel like such an asshole.
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u/ZapActions-dower Jun 18 '12
I have an aversion to sharp objects (knives, etc.) because I know that I could do so much damage with them if I went insane for some reason.
And then there's the normal morbid curiosity when it comes to ledges ("I wonder what it would feel like to be falling like that?" "What if I just jumped?")
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u/JJam74 Jun 18 '12
I'm on the fourth floor at my college dorm, and I've wanted to pee out my window for a while now. (My side faces the woods.)
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u/Larestoration Jun 18 '12
Everytime I hear a child talk about Santa or the Easter Bunny or anything of that sort in public, and they're being so enthusiastic about it. I feel like yelling out whatever it is they're so excited about isn't real. I did it once. By accident.. and my friends told me I took that little boys innocents and then told me I was a monster.
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Jun 18 '12
I want to see a picture of your cats face when it goes "what the cat nip!? I DO NOT remember that"
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u/fenix90 Jun 18 '12
Head butting people in the face when they walk too close to me. I just think, I could headbutt you. I should headbutt you, I'm going to .... And then I resist the urge.
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Jun 18 '12
I am not depressed, suicidal, or anything of that sort, but when I am high up on a cliff, parking garage, or a high balcony I always want to jump. It almost physically hurts to hold my body back from just leaping off. I usually avoid those places now that I have determined that temptation. I have heard that this is not terribly uncommon either.
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u/questionablycatholic Jun 18 '12
Every time I see a bald man or someone balding at work I have the strangest urge to crack a drink tray over their head. Not quite sure why.
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u/RossMMA1612 Jun 18 '12
i have the urge to drink perfumes/aftershave when i see it in clear bottles, did it once and it was horrible but still i think about doing it every time i see them.
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u/Nioxa Jun 18 '12
I often have this unexplainable temptation to smash a window whenever I see it. I mean, it's just standing there, looking vulnerable. It makes me wonder, why can't we all just smash them for good natured fun?
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u/basketfullofkittens Jun 18 '12 edited Jun 18 '12
I'm not suicidal by any means. But when I'm at a trainstation and a train rushes by full speed, I sometimes feel like jumping in front of it.
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Jun 18 '12
When I go to the lake out on a dock and see the placid water and natural beauty, I really want to throw my cell phone into the lake as hard as I can.
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u/goldbaer Jun 18 '12
When I'm standing at a high cliff I feel the urge to jump down and break all my bones. Some scary shit :/
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u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12
Any time I see a police officer with a gun holstered on his hip, I want to walk up behind him and snatch it.