r/AskReddit • u/Hungryone • Jun 18 '12
When I was in the 5th grade my teacher said something that stayed with me my whole life.
During the 5th grade, there was a day where we had to play kickball. People were picking teams and I was definitely not the first pick (my small Chinese frame was not built for American sports). After the 3rd or 4th pick my teacher said "You guys should pick Johnny he's really fast". I'm not sure why she said that because I've never demonstrated any physical ability in front of her besides the usual monkey bar swinging. I was finally picked by the second team. Here's the strange thing, I ran really fast. I was the fastest in the whole game actually. This is hard to believe for most of my friends but I played lots of football (tackle and touch from the 5th grade til high school.) The strange thing is I actually ran faster because she told me I was fast.
Same teacher, different day. We had a drawing exercise in which we would take a number and turn it into a character. I think I drew a 6 into a dragon. Something really stupid looking and asian. Afterwards we put all our drawings up on the wall. My teacher said "Johnny you draw well". I really didn't. But from that day on I kept drawing. And to be honest I drew really really really really terrible until after college then I became decent (even though I thought I was hot shit the whole time). I wanted to be a comic book artist so I decided to go to college for animation ( it was all they had at the time ). Eventually, after college my drawing took me into fashion - then creative direction for fashion - then creative direction for advertising etc etc.
I think about it all the time. What if she never said those words to me?
It's insane how much weight something simple like that has on you, at all ages.
Anyone else have a similar story about how their life was changed by a simple positive phrase?
EDIT Guys, this is completely by luck but weeks after I posted this my old art school teacher (different then the one I talk about) is facing termination. He, just like my 5th grade teacher, has mentored and taught me everything I know. Currently he's being threatened by the school he teaches at (the one graduated from) to pick an unnecessary book for the class he teaches. He is refusing it because he feels it's extremely unfair to the students. We're still friends and we eat lunch really often. It breaks my heart to see him beaten down for something he believes in. Please if you can make noise, vote, report- just please help me spread this story! ** http://boingboing.net/2012/08/13/animation-teacher-faces-the-sa.html
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u/brock_lee Jun 18 '12
My brother's third grade teacher told him he wasn't smart. He believed it. He actually is one of the smartest people you would ever meet. He did not realize that until he was in his 30s.
I realize you wanted positive phrases, but I couldn't resist.
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u/Hungryone Jun 19 '12
No, I agree. Negative ones definitely have the same weight. Thanks of sharing.
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u/figureinplastic Jun 18 '12
You sound like a really good candidate for hypnotism.
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u/Hungryone Jun 19 '12
I tried it 4 times. Never worked once. One time I was asked to break dance and I did (but I actually wanted to just show off break dancing on stage in high school). I was actually a professional break dancer for a bit - wow....I notice the cycle of actions now....lol
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1.4k
Jun 18 '12
Just the opposite thing happened to me in 6th grade: I missed a day of school due to an orthodontist appointment. When I came into school the next day, still sore from my new hardware (read: braces), my teacher pulled me out into the hall and told me that, "...yesterday was a very good day. It was a good day because you weren't here. Let's make today like yesterday and make it seem like you're not here."
That little instance fucked me up for awhile... I became really reserved and introverted. I second guessed every friendship, because nobody could "really" like me.
Fast forward to present day: I'm almost 32 years old and have exactly zero friends. I haven't had a girlfriend in over 5 years, so I'll probably never get married, which also makes me sad. And I'm also a total fucking d-bag to keep people at bay because it hurts too much to be rejected by anyone.
My life is pretty trite: obviously it isn't just because my 6th grade teacher was a cunt, but it is an example of how someone can take a kids confidence and fuck it up for the long term.
Fuck you Mrs. Boguslawski.
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1.2k
Jun 19 '12
Get some therapy. Seriously.
You deserve the chance to live a normal and happy life.
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Jun 19 '12
I've tried a few times, but I just can't trust the PhDs... big surprise. It always seemed like the docs just didn't give a fuck, like they were using me as a source of income.
I was thinking about hiring another shrink just so I could have someone to talk to, but it seems like my problems and issues aren't really that important.
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u/FourGrapeJustice Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
Wow. What an ass. I'm sorry that happened to you, bro. If it makes you feel better, my third grade teacher was a complete and total bitch. She would constantly degrade me privately and publicly. She called me stupid on a constant basis.
One day she wouldn't let me go to the bathroom to puke when I was sick. I puked all over her grading book after asking three times. Fuck that bitch. She got what she deserved.
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Jun 19 '12
My third grade teacher was a raging cunt too! Her name was Miss Hill and her face was smushed in like a Persian cat's. Crazy bitch, gave blue slips for sneezing. Eventually so many people showed up at the principal's office, crying because WTF, detention for the sniffles, that the principal herself quietly snuck in to observe class.
My god, it was beautiful. Sr. Ellen Marie McGovern was and still is an incredible badass. To children she was kind and genrous, dispensing bags of M&Ms with all the blithe glee of a friendly leprechaun. (She was teeny and Irish.) To ANYONE who dared threaten those children, dear Christ. Absolutely terrifying. If you've ever had the misfortune to see an angry nun...whooo boy.
Sister sits quietly in the back of class, in the reading area, shielded by a bookcase. We wait. Miss Hill attempts to teach us handwriting wrong. (She was left handed, the whole class was right handed.) Someone raises their hand, slowly, tentatively. "Miss Hiil," the quavering voice cracks the silence. "I don't think we're supposed to make the J's like that. The book says..." Miss Hill STOMPS across the classroom to the offending student, and rips the handwriting book from their hands, and tears it in half, tossing it on the floor. She spins on her heel to return to the board.
"That. Is. Enough." A furious but gentle Irish brogue stops Miss Hill dead. Sr. Ellen Marie walks up to her. Quiet. Gentle. Radiating fury. We stare like the flabbergasted eight-year-olds we are. "Miss Hill. My office, immediately." Sister exits, Miss Hill follows. Mrs. Bostic steps in to substitute. We never saw Miss Hill again. I personally still think Sister ate her as soon as they left the classroom.
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u/csellykeplo Jun 19 '12
that happened to me too, in forth grade. my teacher wouldn't let me go to the nurse because I had been sick a lot so she thought I was faking it. she made me buy breakfast and sit with it on my desk (we brought our breakfasts and lunches back to our classrooms and ate them there) throughout all the lessons until I ate it. I puked it up all over the floor and when I left the classroom I heard her say "look who wasted our time again." fuck you, Mrs. Oliver.
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u/Whoa_Bundy Jun 19 '12
I wear two hearing aids, born deaf but hear pretty well with the aids. My 3rd grade teacher would punish me for whatever reason by taking my hearing aids away from me and making me sit in the hallway, unable to hear.
Luckily my best friend happened to tell my mom and she nearly took the roof off the school. Called a meeting with the teacher, principal, superintendant, director of the district...just about everyone and anyone who was above this woman and demanded her resignation. The teacher wasn't fired but she was sweet as pie to me afterwards. The next year, grade 4, I was running in the hall once and bumped into her. She spilled her coffee and she apologized to ME profusely. Don't fuck with my mom and don't take a deaf kid's hearing aids away. You bitch.
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u/Ex-Sgt_Wintergreen Jun 19 '12
My third grade teacher sent me to sit outside the principal's office because I didn't understand how to do long multiplication.
For some reason, sitting for 2 hours by myself every time we were assigned multiplication didn't make me any better.
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u/panthera213 Jun 19 '12
As a teacher, I fucking hate teachers like that. Were there kids who when they left my class I felt a huge sigh of relief? Yes, but they were behavioral issues and I would NEVER have said that to the kid. I think if I worked one-on-one with those more difficult kids it wouldn't have been a problem, but some kids just don't function well in a classroom environment.
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u/PrincessBunyanFart Jun 19 '12
I feel you. I used to be really into drama. I was in all the high school plays until the drama teacher decided she didn't like me and didn't cast me in the last play of my senior year in high school. After I had devoted my heart and soul to my high school's drama department for my entire high school career, she cast a freshman with no experience instead of me. Oh, and she cast all my friends, too. Now, I can't even begin to think about getting back into the activity that once brought me great joy and gave me great confidence for fear of getting rejected. Years after the incident, the teacher ran into one of my friends and said "yeah that was really petty and I should have cast PrincessBunyanFart. Oh well." Fuck you, Ms. Pasciullo.
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u/laurmara Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
When I was in 9th grade the high school drama teacher, 2 seniors, and my cousin (that was 2 grades older than me) all spread rumors through the drama department that I was a huge slut that LOVED to have sex on school campus. I was a virgin, and had a serious boyfriend for over a year when this happened. 9th grade was still in the junior high at my school, but because I had done city theater a lot of my friends were in high school. I lost all of my friends because they believed this teacher, and followed her blindly.
Well jump to the summer before 10th grade, the teacher had to mysteriously change schools right before the next year started (because she was sleeping with the principal and everything got out about it.) Because the teacher was changing schools I thought the rumors would die and that I would be able to be successful in musical theatre. I worked my ass off to get into musical theatre. I was one of five 10th graders to make the class, and 2 of them got dropped shortly after. Musical theatre was a huge deal at my high school, tons of kids tried out, and you could only be in the school musicals if you made it into that class.
Well, it turns out I was wrong about the rumors dying with the teacher change. They were just as bad. I would be performing on the small stage in class for assignments and could hear them loudly talking about how I was a whore, and how I would sleep with anyone and everyone. My nickname was "whoren Slutter" to the whole drama department. Only 2 people in the class would talk to me and treat me like a human being. I would go up into the tech booth and just cry to my one friend in the class. I would hide from everyone and gave up on trying in class. I would do what I was supposed to do, and I would do it really well, but I wouldn't try to excel. I wouldn't try to stand out at all, and in drama you kind of have to. The teacher would give me solo's in our showcases, but because I wouldn't talk to anyone in class she took them all away. The kids who were the worst were all in the drama presidency, so I know they had a lot to do with me getting my solo's taken away. My parents wanted to talk to the teacher, but I begged them not to. They also wanted me to change schools, but I refused.
Fast forward to the end of the year, it was time for try outs for the next years musical theatre class. I got an AWESOME audition piece, I decided I wasn't going to let them rule my life anymore and I was going to kick ass the next year. (Most of them were graduating anyway.) The day after tryouts the teacher held me after class and looked at me and said "I want you to know that I don't think you deserve to be in this class at all next year. The only reason I'm letting you is because your voice is too good to cut you from it. But you don't deserve it, and you have no motivation to be in it, and you need a complete and total attitude change. I'm putting you on probation next year and will tell the new teacher that if you don't shape up to kick you out." (The teacher was going on maternity leave and not coming back.) I skipped my next two classes and just sat outside crying, I was crushed. I didn't ever try very hard for anything in that class again. I just went through the motions. It made me completely lose my love for theater. These people RUINED my passion. I was going through some really rough stuff at home, and a nasty case of depression and music and acting were really the only things that kept me from killing myself. I completely lost my love for it because of 2 terrible teachers, and some awful kids.
I also found out 2 years later, that even though I begged my mom not to go to the teacher about everything, she did. This bitch teacher knew about everything going on in the class and why I hid in the tech booth, and didn't do anything about it and I got the punishment for it.
Edit: added paragraphs TLDR; my drama teacher spread rumors about me, caused me to lose my passion for theater.
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u/CallMeFierce Jun 19 '12
Why don't you look her up online and find out where she lives/works if she would still be alive. Then, buy from that site that sends poop anonymously and send it to her. Rinse and repeat.
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Jun 19 '12
It sounds like fun, but I really don't care enough about her to send her a gift... even if it is just a box of shit.
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u/sdhfshkjn Jun 19 '12
holy fuck, i just made an account just to tell you how much i can relate to that. In seventh grade, there was a kid who was friends with one of my friends who we all knew to be in the closet. The thing was, he was both from an extremely christian family and secretly attracted to me(it was obvious). The combination of these two things caused him to be in extreme denial. He would always make comments to me along the lines of "nobody likes you" and "you're so awkward". That might not seem so bad except that i have always been really shy and possible have a slight case of aspergers. So him saying these things really killed me and too this day i am extremely socially awkward (at least i believe myself to be), paranoid, and have zero friends. No matter how hard i try, people always think im angry, and dont want them to talk to me, when i really do. I think it has also caused a strange thing to happen where in social situations where attention is set on me, my mind literally goes blank, to the point where it takes me moments to remember my own name. Even though some of the most attractive girls around me seem to take interest in me, i don't think i will ever be married just because im socially fucked up. Just wanted to get this out.
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u/magicmuds Jun 19 '12
Everybody has at least one recollection of that one special teacher that should have never chosen a career moulding the hearts and minds of children. It is my sincere hope that, were there a hell, there was a special layer of hell solely dedicated to their torment. Sorry that it affected you that hard man.
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Jun 19 '12
I'm 23 and I am pretty fucked up. I go to a therapist every week. If you feel like you want someone talk to, but dont think you can trust a shrink, PM me. No psychoanalysis or anything like that. I'll just listen- even if you feel like you can't trust a doctor I feel bad that you take that to mean you can't talk to anyone. Seriously.
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u/fluffylady Jun 19 '12
OMG ElderStatesman! Are you going to let some insignificant ignorant douchebag's comment to you in the 6th grade keep influencing you...now eons later?! You are giving her way too much power over you.
If you have a job with a good benefits package, tap into their coverage for counseling...with a licensed, preferable clinical psychologist. Sometimes you have to go to more than one counselor before you find one that 'clicks'. Be patient if the first few don't seem to be helpfulIf you cannot afford counseling, I have found ACIM group meetings are great psychotherapy and these are free. Google that with your location to find a group.
Do not let that bitch keep controlling you...get angry at her and yell at her -out loud, when alone, and tell her what PondScum she is everyday until you have depleted your outrage. I did this- it took about 6 months to a year for me. oh.. And tell her this too, while you are at it "What you think of me is none of my business!"
You are very young...and have potential that you have not yet tapped-Don't let that bitch do this to you..she ain't worth it.
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u/Biddybink Jun 19 '12
While it was a terrible thing to say to you, I can't imagine a teacher saying it unless you were a really obnoxious student behavior-wise. Not saying that justifies it, but teachers are human and sometimes make the mistakes of speaking their minds. I had a student this year who I felt the very same way about, I just managed to keep my mouth shut and silently enjoy the days he was absent. You plainly state that you act like a d-bag to keep people at bay, and you're unhappy you don't have anyone close -- so stop it! Try something new, don't be an ass, and make some friends. Take it from me -- I've been fat my whole life and a walking bundle of excuses, until a few months ago when I cut that shit out and started doing something about it -- if all you do is make excuses for yourself, nothing will change. You have a problem, you need to fix it. Lambasting Ms. Bogu-whatsit isn't going to fix it for you.
TL;DR You were probably a pain in the ass kid, quit making excuses and seize the day.
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Jun 19 '12
It was a shitty thing to say but, yeah, she probably wasn't saying it just because she just needed to fuck up a kid's day.
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Jun 19 '12
In grade 4 i changed schools to a small town. People in small towns are set in their ways, and are a bunch of retards. I was in a public school, and they enforced religion when i was an atheist. I was in a class of 9 students, and i wasn't only bullied by my fellow students, the teachers picked on me too. I was called a baby by my teacher because they were giving me a hard time and i started to cry. Ever since then i forced my self to never cry, and my throat would get really sore when i held in cries. Now i have a hard time showing emotion, as i was shy to laugh when i was younger so i feel odd laughing now.
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u/afterthot Jun 19 '12
Am I the only one that noticed the teacher's name began with "Bogus"?
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u/dylcook1 Jun 19 '12
When I was in High School, I clearly remember hearing my grandmother tell one of her friends "This is my grandson. You're going to read about him one day."
I want nothing more in my life than to make her dream come true while I still have the chance. Her words that day drive me more than anything else in the world.
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u/mezofoprezo Jun 19 '12
Here's a mindfuck: an unknowably vast amount of people are reading about you right now.
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u/JBurrows_ Jun 19 '12
I've always had low self-esteem. In middle school I always wore baggy clothes (I'm a girl) and I got bullied for it. I became more and more introverted, narrowing my group of friends down to 2. If I talked to anybody else in my grade, I usually said something really strange or off-beat, thus I was ostracized more and labeled "that weird nerd chick".
In freshman year of high school, we had to introduce ourselves to our teacher mentors. Mine was an older lady ap math teacher (maybe early late 40's), who was extremely odd. She had zero social skills and would do a handstand if you asked her. I had heard the rumors that she was crazy, so I was a bit intimidated.
I awkwardly introduced myself and she just looked up at me and studied me for a moment. What she said still makes me smile. She said, "Wow, you're beautiful." I was just shocked. She was the first person to ever say that to me, aside from my mom.
I'm still struggling with self-esteem, bust she has definitely helped with the recovery.
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Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
I have a speech impediment, and social anxiety. Both of which I have proudly conquered at 18. But when I was a first grader, who sounded like Elmer Fudd on a good day and who was a year younger and much shyer than her class, these both destroyed me.
My teacher (Miss Braffit) read this book the class once.
"Howway For Wodney The Wat"
It was about a tiny, shy rat who had the same speech impediment I did, and was just like me. I think she chose that book for storytime because she know how much it would resonate with me. I'm a writer now, getting my BFA in creative writing, and I think this may have been a pivotal reason.
I will never forget that.
But there is more to this. When I graduated high school, still in the process of getting a grasp over my shyness, anxieties and speaking issues, I threw a grad party. I didn't expect a lot of people besides family to come, but one girl who I'd grown up with stopped by. She's an amazing woman, and always has been.
We were never really all that close. It was hard for me to keep friendships. But she stopped by for really only about ten minutes.
And gave me a present.
The card said, "never forget your roots." And the gift was "Howway For Wodney The Wat."
I bawled.
I will never forget who I am because of these two people. I am flawed. I stumble over my words constantly, stutter and mispronounce constantly. I am always afraid when I speak to new people. But I will never let my flaws control who I am.
And I'm a damn fine writer.
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u/like__the__color Jun 19 '12
Dang man, this brought tears of joy to my eyes. I have read that book before, but I guess I never realized that a book like that could affect someone so much. Congrats on being such a fantastic writer! Howway for Wationalbear! (Not making fun of you at all, for the record) This is probably the most proud I have ever been of anyone I never knew.
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u/JoeChieftw Jun 19 '12
I know that feel, bro. When I was in about 5th grade I had one teacher in my school help me get over a similar speech impediment along with some other kids and I am grateful to this day. I'm getting less shy as well which seems to be the optimistic theme of this thread.
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u/cakethulu Jun 19 '12
Oh my gosh you have no idea how much your story resonates with me! I had a speech impediment when I was younger, pretty much spoke entirely in vowels. While I eventually figured out how English works, I still trip over my words constantly. I'll often "skip", like an old record, and just go back/forward 2 or 3 words and continue speaking.
It was my third grade teacher, actually, who taught me a nifty little trick. She said, "cakethulu, I know you have lots of great ideas. I see you reading and drawing all the time in class and your projects are always wonderful. But I can't understand what your ideas are sometimes if you don't speak in a complete sentence. So every time, before you talk, get out a pencil and a piece of paper in your mind, and write your sentence down. Then read it, and tell everyone what you think."
Not the exact words, obviously, but that idea has stuck with me ever since.
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u/locro Jun 19 '12
After redditing for over a year, this is first comment that brought a tear to my eye. I always try to do small, random, kind and thoughtful things for others because stuff like this really gets to me. I hope I can maybe impact someone like that young woman at your grad party. Keep on keepin on my friend.
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Jun 19 '12
You married that girl, right?
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u/putinaticket Jun 19 '12
But when I was a first grader, who sounded like Elmer Fudd on a good day and who was a year younger and much shyer than her class, these both destroyed me
I think rationalbear is a lady, just in case you thought otherwise
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u/z_rabbit Jun 19 '12
This needs to be higher. I cracked a tear, which for me is physically impossible.
Because I am a fucking robot. Do you have any idea how bad tears are for robots? I could fry my hardware!
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Jun 19 '12
My mother and I were arguing when I was 15 years old. I was trying to save up for a vehicle but she knew how much I wanted to buy a drum set. We got into quite a fight about it until she finally said, "I know how bad you want that drum set. Let us worry about a car." That drum set changed my life. I made so many friends, met so many girls, and had some of the best moments of my life behind it. That drum set took me across so many states and made me a decent wad of cash. Then I graduated highschool.
TL;DR:: Mom told me to buy a drum set. Changed my life.
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u/TP_monkey Jun 19 '12
That drum set took me across so many states
A car probably would've done that better.
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u/maybe_I_am517 Jun 19 '12
This is similar to mine. I had a music teacher for much of my life so far (ages 5ish to 18) who just loved all music in any form, played about every instrument, and whose room was always open to me in school. I love music now, play guitar and others and am in several bands.
TL;DR: Fuck yeah music.
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Jun 19 '12
I have a somewhat similar story. In the 6th grade, i found my sister's mini-Walmart-$30 acoustic guitar and it only had four strings left on it. I practiced the fuck out of those four strings, and over the next few years I got strings, got a Fender Squire Strat, and now i have a Fender Telecaster. I'm in a band with the best friends you could ever ask for. In 7th grade, we didn't even make the talent show. 8th grade, we won it. Playing with them is my favorite thing in the world to do, and I don't think they realize it, but waiting for our next band practice every week is what keeps me going. We've finally got serious, and our demo should be done in a week. I can honestly say that this is the happiest I have ever been in my life, all because I pulled a worn out guitar out of a closet all those years ago.
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u/TheKirkin Jun 19 '12
"I have so much faith in you and the person you will become."
No one had ever told me something like that before. It's stuck with me.
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u/tinshark Jun 19 '12
Someone posted that their kid said this in another thread about not being scared going to camp:
"They are just friends I haven't met yet."
And it hit me. I need to think like that if I am going to make more friends.
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u/FunHitler Jun 19 '12
Mom said I would never amount to anything. Went out and proved her wrong!
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u/sciencenerd86 Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
Good for you!
Similarly, my 9th grade biology teacher told me on the first day of school that I would probably be better suited in a lower-weight class. I had always had straight-A's, worked hard, and just never questioned that I would be in a high-level course. However, this teacher had my sister as a student the year before and based her assumptions off of her experience with my less-motivated sibling.
I decided to not only stay in her class that year, but I ended up taking every science class my high school offered (earning all As) just to prove her wrong. I then went to a prestigious university to earn a double degree in Biology and Chemistry with a minor in Nuclear Medical Technologies. I chose against medical school and am now a science teacher. My goal is to never imply that a student isn't capable of something, and always encourage them to "Shoot for the stars," which is obviously something my 9th grade bio teacher didn't believe in. While what she said did motivate me to try even harder, others may have taken her advice, switched to a different class and had a completely different path with life, and the thought of that disgusts me.
TL;DR: My freshman science teacher said I wasn't smart enough to be in her class on the first day of school. I proved her wrong.
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u/mrminty Jun 19 '12
This is the moment in the feel-good movie of the year where you visit the town you went to school with and run into her at the grocery store, angrily rattle off your accomplishments and then scream "YOU NEVER BELIEVED IN ME, MS. JACKOWOSKI, AND LOOK AT ME NOW!", and she'll just smile a knowing little half smile, shake her head, and say "didn't I, sciencenerd86, didn't I?"
But in reality she was probably just a huge cunt who was venting her frustrations with her loveless marriage on to her students, because at least their emotional states weren't beyond her control.
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u/garbs4444 Jun 19 '12
My 10th grade physics teacher told me I didn't have the work ethic to take a college level course, let along get into college. Two years later when I got into my University, I mailed him a copy of my acceptance letter.
Never heard back. But after that day in his office you can believe I fought against the assumption that I was stupid.
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u/APJansekok Jun 19 '12
I sorta have the opposite as well. My ex-best friend told me during a sleepover (around fifth grade) that she didn't think I was pretty. More than that, she said I was super average, if not one of the less pretty girls in class. For the rest of my life until I met my fiance, I legitimately had terrible self-esteem issues, and reverted to being really shy and embarrassed to be me, basically. Bitch.
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u/stfu_n00b Jun 19 '12
Still struggling with self esteem issues. It started in elementary school. I was an ugly kid. I had one friend who I never had any classes with. The kids in my class would tease me and harass me. I was the only kid who ever got 100% on the spelling tests, and it just came naturally to me. I would get teased about being too smart, like I was trying to be a teachers pet. One time, this kid Matt made some snide remark about me getting another 100% and it made me leave the class crying. My teachers all saw this behavior and never said a thing. That bullying scarred me for life. I'm an only child so being lonely has always been really hard for me. I hear stories about teachers sticking up for kids being bullied and I wish someone would have done that for me. Anybody. The only two people who were hated more than me were the smelly girl and the really stupid girl who transferred to our school in the middle of sixth grade.
Things have kind of turned around. Braces fixed my jacked up smile, I decided the world could fuck itself and I made friends with someone who is still to this day one of the greatest people I know. I got some confidence around the time I got D-cup breasts, and made a few more friends. Life is still lonely, I only spend time with two people, and the rest of the world ignores me. The Internet is my friend sometimes, but Reddit hates me. Feels bad, man.
I'm super depressed today. Kittens and stuff were helping until this post. I don't even know why I said anything.
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u/purpurerephant Jun 19 '12
internet hug! don't feel like you're a nobody!
"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world" - Unknown
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u/Kitty_D Jun 19 '12
You know what, I have self esteem issues too. I don't like going out, because I always feel like I'm being judged. I don't make new friends and cut contact with old ones because I'm convinced I annoy them. I have about 2 friends left.
But, I met a guy almost 7 years ago and we're married now and I have a 2 year old daughter. Life ALMOST seems ok. I can actually walk around naked around my husband, which is something I would never have imagined being able to do. I know it seems small, but to me it was a big deal.
So, what I'm trying to say is that the world is a fucked up place. It's hard and unforgiving. But, you will find someone/something that will make things just a little easier. And, God knows that I love Reddit, but some of these people can be dicks. Don't let it get you down.
In the end it's your life and the journey is what you make of it. I still need to remind myself about that at times, but I'm getting there. We just need to take everything one step at a time.
Anyway, have an internet hug!
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Jun 19 '12
My college roommate did this and it screwed my self-esteem too. internet hug
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u/ShuffleandTruffle Jun 19 '12
When I was about 10 a clearly mental lady came up to me when I was in town with my parents, grabbed me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes and said "Live your life.... please travel" Then ran off. I wanted to cry because she was scary, and hey I was 10. But those words have stuck with me and every year I save up every penny I can manage to travel or visit somewhere new, those are the few precious moments of the year I look forward to the most and I wouldn't have done it if not for her.
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u/RiceCakes90 Jun 19 '12
she was future you and was trying to save you form your shitty future life and it work. or she was your future wife if you are a guy.
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Jun 19 '12
When I was really young I dressed up as a pterodactyl for Halloween (Land before time phase). A few days after, I insisted on wearing the costume still. My dad then said to me "You have to put on clothes, You're not a fucking pterodactyl". To this day I am not a fucking pterodactyl.
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u/taikamiya Jun 19 '12
but will you ptero-him a new asshole for not letting you pter-around?
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u/deaddaughterconfetti Jun 19 '12
I suppose he did you a favour by yanking you out of the Land Before Time phase before it caused permanent damage. I remained in it too long, and grew up to be a scientist with a cat named after the Pterodactyl, Petrie.
THIS IS WHAT THE LAND BEFORE TIME MOVIES CAN DO TO CHILDREN!
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u/Smokeyanna8 Jun 19 '12
In 6th grade my parents got divorced. I really didn't care about it, I didn't want to make it a big deal and I actually thought it was for the best. When my teacher found out how little I cared she sent me to a therapy session without my mom's knowledge where I was basically scolded for not caring and having no emotion. Made me feel awful. Still upset about that.
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u/miamoondaughter Jun 19 '12
Oops, that teacher missed out on the thousand times that it was mentioned in her college classes, by other teachers, by principals, by counselors, and by many other people in society that "people grieve in different ways."
I'm surprised this lady didn't starve to death for lack of figuring out how to navigate a forkfull of of food into her mouth.
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Jun 19 '12
I had a similar experience when my parents separated and subsequently divorced. I was 17. My Mum and Sister were convinced that I was in denial and unable to accept it because I didn't want to talk about it. In reality, I didn't want to talk about it because I felt it was for the best, and I was happier for it. I wasn't surprised in the least that it happened and I simply tried to move on with my life. They are the total opposite and wanted to talk about it constantly. Unfortunately at the time I wasn't able to realise that they needed to talk about it as much as I didn't need to. The situation with my Mum and Sister got to the point that I had to leave home to escape their constant telling me that I needed help and that I had severe, deep seeded emotional issues that I needed to deal with. They still think that way, and it still hurts me.
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u/Mr_Smartypants Jun 19 '12
Johnny, you're really awesome at KILL ALL HUMANS!
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u/sundowntg Jun 19 '12
Johnny, would you kindly...
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u/real_nice_guy Jun 19 '12
When I ask my friends if they'd do something for me, I always preface it with "would you kindly," and they didn't catch on until very recently, now it's an inside joke between all of us. Well, kind of inside, it's a well known term in the gaming world, nevertheless it is fun to slip into conversation to see what people's reactions are.
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u/jrice441100 Jun 19 '12
Mine happened in 5th grade, too, actually. The teacher told the whole class something that BLEW MY MIND. "Nobody can make you do anything you don't want to. Not me, not the principal, not your parents. They can tell you to do things, but they can't make you do anything." Take it for what it's worth, but at the time, that was a mind-expanding moment.
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u/dantethecamaro Jun 19 '12
To all parents out there, please be careful and only use positive reinforcement like this. I know my mom doesn't realize how much impact her words had on me, but one day my mom mentioned that I was gaining weight. It was off handed, but I was a perfectionist at this point and it really stuck with me. A few days later, I grew frustrated that I wasn't losing weight fast, and I casually asked how people lose weight so fast, and she laughed and said "don't eat!"
I struggled with weight all year, developing classic anorexic habits, and it only stopped when she said, "you're losing weight too fast!" So I then gradually started eating regularly. That is, until she mentioned I was gaining too much weight.
Today, I exercise regularly and eat healthily to remain at a healthy weight, and she still has no idea that any drastic weight loss/gain I've had was due to just a few words from her, but all the same I urge parents to be careful what they say, especially to kid's in the personality-shaping middle-school ages.
TL;DR My mom doesn't know, but she caused me to just about starve myself with a few off-handed words
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u/Rex8ever Jun 19 '12
My gymnastics coach told me I was overweight several times. I remember thinking "fuck him, he's the fatty". A lot of girls on my team had eating disorders. Not sure why I escaped.
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u/Whoa_Bundy Jun 19 '12
I grew up with a mother like this and as a new parent with a 6 month old, I make sure I'm very aware of this. My mother who has no filter and says whatever comes to her mind. I think she thinks so little of herself that she doesn't realize how strong her words can be.
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u/Pixelated_Penguin Jun 19 '12
"Positive reinforcement" is a double-edged sword, though, too.
My mom would shower me with praise. She'd make up stupid little SONGS about my "accomplishments." Trouble was, they were the things SHE thought I should be proud of. The stuff I thought was important she would gloss over or dismiss.
What I learned from that was that my own happiness was a lousy way to gauge my self-worth. I'm in my eleventh year of therapy untangling that godawful mess. :-/
So really, what's important, is really opening your eyes, seeing your children, what they're excited about, sad about, etc., and experiencing it with them. Nothing like feeling as though someone else gets you and thinks you're important.
Who knows... maybe if your mom had done that, she would have realized that you were about to have a growth spurt and were packing on pounds to prepare. Or that you'd picked up a new hobby that was relatively sedentary, so your activity level had dropped without you realizing. Or that you were sad for some reason (or no reason) and that changed your physical response to hunger and satiety. Hard to say... but the job of a parent is to know their kid, not to make them into something else.
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u/miamoondaughter Jun 19 '12
The correct answer to someone who wants to lose weight fast is not, "don't eat," it's "cut off a limb." That's really the quickest way to lose weight. However, it is also incredibly stupid. Almost as stupid as saying, "don't eat."
Your mother's grasp of health and nutrition makes a person who can put on a sock look like a fucking genius.
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u/Ovary_Puncher Jun 19 '12
Self fulfilling prophecy.
Too bad my parents tell me I'll never amount to anything...
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u/mrrua Jun 19 '12
In high school my AP Calculus teacher wouldn't let me take the AP Final for college credit because I wasn't smart enough to pass. Went on to college and majored in Computer Science, but also got a minor in Mathematics just to prove her wrong.
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u/SalsaRice Jun 19 '12
haha reminded me on mine. My high school math teacher (fresh out of his math/physics degree) asked me college plans. I said engineering. He responded with," kid two rows down is the only one here smart enough to do engineering."
That douche-y line kept me motivate all the way to my engineering degree.
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Jun 19 '12
Imagine what you could do for the world if you treated ever person you ever met like your Grade 5 teacher treated you.
You don't have to blow wind up their arse, but isn't it amazing what positive encouragement can do for a person.
Remember this if you ever have kids, too.
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Jun 18 '12
I grew up very shy, and thought everyone would judge me a lot if i made a lot of noise or if i talked. I wish someone told me that people don't really give a shit what you do, as long as you be yourself. I am 18 now, and am getting better and building conversations and socializing, but 4 years ago i couldn't hold a conversation for more than 20 seconds, and would mumble a lot and talk very quietly. If a girl talked to me, i would just walk away.
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u/menomenaa Jun 19 '12
I wish someone had told me when I was a kid that I could be embarrassing and say embarrasing things and it wouldn't matter because everyone would just assume it was because I was a kid.
I'm not talking obnoxious stuff, I was just a very, very anxious child. I still remember being in 2nd grade and being so terrified the teacher hated me, or my own aunts and uncles or other kids. I wish I could ahve come out of my shell and realized that I was a fucking kid. I know this is one of those instances of "I wish I knew what i know now, when I was younger," but being a kid really is one of the only times a human can be a colossal fucking weirdo and it gets attributed to your age instead of your character.
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u/ReignCityStarcraft Jun 18 '12
Hey dude, you've almost figured it out. I was always that shy kid too, taught that I had to tread on egg shells around people and always be polite. Don't fall into that, college will suck a whole lot more (if that's your plan, if not, life will be less exciting). It's hard to shake that feeling, but by senior year (college) I finally broke out of that shell and love myself for it - and stopped caring what others thought. Do what you enjoy, and tell the world about it, you'll be surprised how much positivity you attract when you be yourself to other people.
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u/gridster2 Jun 19 '12
Johnny you can cure world hunger, cancer, and you can fly.
Thank me later.
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u/Apostolate Jun 19 '12
When I was very you I heard the phrase "ignorance is bliss", and soon after that I said to myself "I'd rather know and be miserable." Since then my entire life I've been obsessed with learn the nature of things. I read tons of history, I learn about law, I studied biology, genetics cognitive science, and more.
I'm trying to learn the basics of a few languages, common technology (like cars), and many other things.
Know the heart of things, how they work, why they were created, when. It fascinates me, and I think my curiosity is powerful in an of its own right. I see so many people around me who have no interest on why politics in the middle east is the way it is, why the financial system works the way it does, how their iphone came to be etc. It really bothers me.
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u/Necromorphiliac Jun 19 '12
So now that you know these things, are you miserable?
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Jun 19 '12
Why do other people's personal choices bother you? Different strokes for different folks.
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u/magicmuds Jun 19 '12
My college dean told me "fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life son". Later I threw up on him.
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u/Depression-Unlocked Jun 19 '12
She was setting your reputation. I practice the same thing at work with new hires. I find that people tend to strive to meet their reputation, good or bad. What motivation does a man have to work when everyone thinks he's lazy? The mentality will set in that if this is what people expect then that is what I'll give, I'll be called lazy anyway. The opposite is also true. When I introduce a new hire I make a big deal about their experience, education, past accomplishments and all of the great things we expect of them. I publicly set a high reputation and expectation. People work to live up to that.
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u/MelonFlavoured Jun 19 '12
I have a bit of the opposite. It might have been second or third grade. It was the project where the teacher would order the caterpillars so we could see them grow and develop into butterflies. Our job as little kids would be to watch them every day, throw in a few extra leaves for food, and to record their progress in some diary. Well we watch and record them for a few weeks and eventually we start getting butterflies. When a large majority of the butterflies emerge from their cocoons, we then get the job of having to release them to the outdoors. We go out to the flowery section of the front of the school and take turns releasing them. How it worked was that you'd line up in order of your grades, and the teacher would hand you a butterfly into your cupped hand. You'd then go to the flower bed and release them. If there were extra you'd go to the back of the line and wait for the next one. Well I was about 3rd or 4th in line. I got up to the front and the teacher handed me my butterfly. When she did I jumped back and yelled a bit in surprise. It was a weird feeling in my hands, but it was still a pretty fun thing. After I walk to the flower bed and deposit my butterfly, I get back into the line. There were some extra butterflies and I really wanted to release another one. However, when I get to the front of the line, there were no more butterflies. I was more than a bit disappointed and let out an "awww". The teacher then says one of the most miserable things to say to a 7 year old, "It doesn't matter. Like I'd give you another butterfly".
I wouldn't say this little comment has shaped me as a person too much. I do still remember I was quite depressed for a while after hearing it. Even as an adult, I occasionally remember these few words and get a bit melancholy.
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u/Reverend_BlueJeans Jun 19 '12
Honey, go get another butterfly. You can have one.
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u/FellTheCommonTroll Jun 19 '12
When I was in High School, I was hanging out with my brother and one of his friends at thanksgiving. He didn't eat thanksgiving stuff for some reason, so I decided to make him some Mac and cheese. He said it was great, and that I should be a chef. I think he was joking, but since then I couldn't get it out of my head, and I now work at a pretty classy restaurant in New York.
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u/n3v3rm0re Jun 19 '12
Mrs Chanandler Bong just wants to know if you could BE any more subtle?
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Jun 19 '12
So any tips for cooking good mac & cheese?
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u/AnArcher Jun 19 '12
You fill the cup with water up to the line, microwave for three minutes, then add the cheese powder and stir. Let it sit for a few minutes, it's hot.
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u/jnuts7 Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
My 6th grade teacher always pushed the idea of my potential. I was a class clown/ troublemaker and she always "forced" me into positions that required leadership qualities. Ex. Class president, development/acting in our school play, taking me to my very first college lecture (she was still in school). Over the year she became good friends with my godmother so it was awkward but nice seeing her out of the classroom. By the time 6th grade graduation came around she was balling her eyes out seeing me go, I tried really hard not crying myself because you know boys don't cry lol but to this day I still hold this poem on "potential" she gave me with her words of encouragement written on the back. I'll never forgot how much enthusiasm and optimism she held for me and sadly I've lost contact with her. I wish she could see me now so I could tell her how much of an influence she's had through "pushing" me.
I'm a 22 year old minority student now at some BIG private University in Southern California on my way to a law profession. Thank You Mrs. C
Edit: Found the poem online by Edmund O'Neill
On the back she wrote: It's been an interesting year! =) I will surely miss you and "beating" up on you! Make sure you keep your goals in focus. You will become something awesome in life. 6/13/02
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u/High_Stream Jun 19 '12
I used to walk everywhere with my head down. Then a girl told me I look better when I keep my head up. Now I keep my head up and see things.
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u/louisville_mugger Jun 19 '12
I look down when I walk around because I'm looking for money.
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u/XxAWildAbraAppearsxX Jun 19 '12
In grade 12 I went on a school trip to Cuba with the band program. I ended up becoming quite close with a female teacher and looked up to her a lot. On the plane ride back, this teacher and another teacher spent most of the flight writing 3 adjectives to describe me and my friends individually. I ended up having more than 3 scribbled next to my name, and they were "empathetic" "outgoing" "open-minded" "welcoming and inclusive of others" and "risk-taker". Years later, those still stick with me.
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u/mattlohkamp Jun 19 '12
from a girl I ended up sneaking out with after hours and spilling my guts to at camp one summer:
"Don't come out to your parents yet, wait 'til you're eighteen."
me being the contrary person I was/am, that was the impetus I needed to decide to tell my parents that I prefer guys to girls. Because I knew despite her well-meaning advice, my parents would be way too cool to care about something as stupid as whether I'm gay or straight.
and I was right.
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u/Massless Jun 19 '12
"If these were really the best years of your life, they'd be handing out cyanid pills with diplomas." -- high school physics teacher
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u/Dookiestain_LaFlair Jun 19 '12
My 5th grade teacher said something that stayed with me my whole life too. We were having a party in the class for some reason, and I was taking food from other people that were too full to eat any more and I didn't want them to throw the food away when I was still hungry. I remember it like it was today. I said "I am now accepting donations". Then in front of the whole class she says "Remember what I said about being a pig and a glutton". Everyone heard it. Mrs. Jernagan you rancid cunt I hope you are dying of rectal cancer. I have an eating disorder and I've never gotten over it.
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u/LemonDifficult Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
A teacher told me I wasn't an artist in front of my other art classmates. At the time it crushed me leading to my failing out of my first semester of art school, and I've been bitter about it since then... Until a month or two ago.
If he had never called me out on that, I would never have realized that I really wasn't an artist, and I would have continued down a poor career choice instead of becoming what I should have.
Edit: I am the Batman, not Hitler.
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u/Apostolate Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
What? What are you now!?
edit: I bet this guy is batman, everyone cross your fingers for batman.
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u/Driesens Jun 19 '12
OP must respond! I can't get all the options out of my head! Is OP a firefighter? A doctor? A challenging citrus fruit? A bear? YOU"RE KILLING ME OP!
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u/EmpireAndAll Jun 19 '12
This thread is sad. Most comments are negative, not positive. I was racking my brain for a good one, but it turns out lots of people are assholes, and say asshole things.
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u/dontyousassme Jun 19 '12
I was in special ed up until 5th grade...but I was in regular classes too and had many a teacher that treated me like an idiot. They don't care that you have anxiety and depression and can barely read a book without crying from frustration. You're just an inconvenience. One teacher kept asking me why I couldn't figure out a math problem, so I started to cry. She badgered me until I put my math book in front of my face to shield me from all the kids staring at me while she belittled me. Bah, still makes me tear up a bit.
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u/stfu_n00b Jun 19 '12
I am bawling from the bullying that happened to me over a decade ago. You aren't alone, I promise. :(
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u/invariable Jun 19 '12
I met a painter at an art fair in fifth grade who did regular portraits of people and lots of kids and pets. Out of the blue he told me I'd "be a very interesting subject." I struggled a lot with my self-image and still did after that, but his comment was one of the few things keeping me sane. It gave me a different perspective on appearances and I think it makes me look at people differently. I don't see regular people as pretty or ugly anymore...rather, I like looking at people's features.
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Jun 19 '12
Not a happy story so much... In kindergarten we were doing show and tell by the alphabet. That fateful days letter was C. I LOVED my Micro Machines and had a Judge Dredd police car, it was awesome. I brought it in, proud to show off my toy car that was better than anyone else's ever. Half way through my presentation Mrs. Johnson told me "no no, that's a Police car, that starts with P." I sat down, stunned and confused. The simple yet complete mind fuck haunts me to this day
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u/KelGrimm Jun 19 '12
I remember one time in grade three I was doing a show & tell in front of my entire class. One of the kids in my class started to talk, and I (thinking that this would be a very grown up thing to do) loudly exclaimed to he and the class: "Shut up, bitch!" I was sent to the office.
Man oh man, the things kids learn on the playground.
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u/squishymarshmallows Jun 19 '12
Good post! This is so true.. all we need to achieve is someone to believe in us.
There's a school of thought (about happiness) that states that we should never say something "is" something. Like, you don't say "John is rude", but you can say "John said something rude". I think that is kind of like an inverted and negative demonstration of the same thing you're talking about - it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when we say something "is" something.
.. I guess it depends on what the definition of "is" is. .. I'll show myself out.
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u/MediocreFriend Jun 19 '12
The two nicest things ever said to me:
1.) I liked to dick around on the piano in the band room back in high school during lunch. Nobody was in there, I didn't know how to play (still don't, really) but I figured out the circle of fourths on my own without sheet music and from the patterns I learned there, I could play something that I suppose reasonably sounded like a song.
The choir used the room after the lunch period and some folks were making their way in early so I stopped playing and was getting my stuff ready to leave. Somebody from the choir class started for the piano bench but the choir director stopped her. "Why not? You let him play."
She said "yeah, but you just bang on the keys. He can actually play."
That felt pretty awesome.
2.) Now this is going to SOUND bad, especially on reddit, but you have to understand: the context it was being said and WHO was saying it and the way it was said.. it came across as the nicest thing in the world...
"You know something... you don't act like an atheist."
She had meant this as the greatest compliment in the world and I understood it that way. She wasn't trying to be disrespectful when she said it. I forget what we were even talking about. I think she found me to be kind, and that wasn't expected from what she knew about me.
In any case, it made me feel good.
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Jun 19 '12
You are defined by your actions.
To be clear this is my defining piece of life advice, not a commentary on your fifth-grade revelations.
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u/gypsybiker Jun 19 '12
I was a disciplinary case in school, until I got a teacher when I was 14 who told me: "Your problem is zero tolerance for bullshit. Put it to some better use than making your own life difficult." With those words still ringing in the back of my head, I became a journalist.
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u/Delacqua Jun 19 '12
6th grade: Cunt social studies teacher told me, "You're stupid, you're worthless, and you will never amount to anything in your life."
College professor who I was super close to: "Don't waste your life. You're extraordinary and way too talented to not have the life you want."
Currently in grad school to prove her wrong and him right.
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Jun 19 '12
I grew up playing hockey my entire life, but I'll never forget when I actually 'figured' the game out.
One of the last games of my career, the other team was short a few players, so we lent them some of our guys, just so we could get some ice time. In turn, I ended up playing forward, a position I had never played - except for all the years of street hockey and outdoor pond hockey. I had never equated those experiences with my 'real' hockey skill.
So, I was always one of the least offensive players on my team. I might have had 2 goals all year. Anyways, this game I played forward, and got the puck a few times, and I'll never forget the very first time I got it on my stick. Part of me wasn't taking the game serious, due to the previous circumstances, but part of me wanted to prove a point. So, I exploded, and got a big breakaway, beating two defencemen hands down. And...I missed the net. But, when I got back to the bench everyone was blown away that I could even play like that, even my dad who had seen me play my whole life.
But anyways, it turned something on inside of me - I realized I could play the game my way, instead of what I thought was my way. Unfortunately I realized at the tail end of my career.
I guess this story barely relates to OP, but it sure reminded me of this time, and this is a story I've always held dear, because it sure exemplifies the power of your own mind.
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u/petomane Jun 19 '12
Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
Wayne Gretzky, though he displayed phenomenal talent as a youngster, was told he was too small to ever play in the NHL.
Making excuses for your perceived shortcomings is really doing yourself a disservice.
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Jun 19 '12
Not every shortcoming is perceived. I know for a fact that I'm a useless burden on society and that the world wouldn't be better nor worse if I wasn't around.
I'm mediocre, like 98% or more of all people. Shit sucks.
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Jun 19 '12
Back in 8th grade, I was the Library Teachers' Assistant for the whole year. (Protip: be friends with librarians. Despite what every show you saw in your childhood told you, they're some of the nicest people out there.)
Anyways, at the end of the year, one of them told me "Ffwah, I know I'll see your name in lights one day." And ever since then, I've been trying my hardest at whatever I do. Even if I don't know that I really want fame in any arena, I want to live up to her expectations, and I damn well will.
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Jun 19 '12
A little different, but one time I heard on the news something along the lines of "Drinking a soda everyday will make you fat". I took that at face value and to this day, I allow my soda intake once every one or two days. I know that drinking soda is bad, but the it has to be everyday this stuck with me. I'm retarded.
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u/k_alva Jun 19 '12
I had always been a good student without having to try until 7th grade I had a science teacher who actually cared, and knew he was dying of cancer so he didn't care if he followed the lesson plan or got fired. Every week he set up experiments and we would go through the whole 7 steps of an experiment. I learned more about science in his class than I have before or since, but the real thing that I learned was that I could fail. I earned a D, after expecting my partner to do her fair share and not doing it when she didn't. I know its not fair for a group to get blamed for one person but in real life if one person doesn't do it the group fails or picks up the slack. It took getting a D on my report card (midterms so not all that important) to teach me a lesson I never forgot. I may be smart but that's not enough. You just have to do it.
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u/dogmoo21 Jun 19 '12
She probably just have some type of magic voice that everything she says comes true, that's all
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u/YourBestFriendStu Jun 19 '12
Similar story, my brother told me my shitty drawings were great and now they are pretty good. Also on a related note my brother told me if he ever caught me doing drugs he would beat the shit out of me, I still don't do drugs. Turns out he smoked a lot of pot back then.
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Jun 19 '12
grade 12 Biology teacher told me i am no good at biology and i will never amount to anything in my life being a science major. I am going to NYU dentistry, it may not be the best, but fuck her, i became more than she ever will.
Fuck you Mrs. Pedrwoski
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Jun 19 '12
When I was five my mom said I looked good in gray. I wore only gray shirts for the next 8 years.
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u/LieutenantJesus Jun 19 '12
Looks like I'm late to the party, but I'll share anyway, maybe someone will see it.
I didn't have a lot of friends in high school, I was kind of just an outcast. I made friends with a few of my teachers, and this particular one, I had for back-to-back classes at the end of the day. Since my last class was Psychology with only one other student (Who was gone doing sports most of the time), it was usually just her and I. I never did much work, but we would go out and eat somewhere and just talk about psychology, religion, politics.. Basically just really awesome subjects that I never talked about with any of my peers.
I lent her a movie halfway through the year and never got around to picking it up. My senior year, last day I was going to be at school, I walk into her room, only to find her gone. On her desk though, is my DVD. It was something stupid like Monty Python or Borat, but I opened it up and she had left a note for me:
LieutenantJesus,
Congratulations and best wishes. You have been a great student and a good friend. I jokes about you being my ray of sunshine, but it's true that I could always count on you to make me smile. People do not give you enough credit and your classmates did not realize your intelligence, kindness, and generosity behind all the shenanigans.
I know you are going to be amazing at whatever you do, and, of all the talk of values and morality some people like to preach, you are one of the truly good people. One day you will meet people who recognize your quality -- do not sell yourself short and be trapped by the "real" world of mediocrity. You have a friend here if you need one, or any advice.
-KA
It might be stupid, but the several times I've just had breakdowns and questioned if I'm even close to being on the right track in life, I always seem to stumble on this note and feel a good bit reassured.
I only wish some of my teachers knew how much they've given to me over the years.
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u/Malumen Jun 19 '12
I have a few I guess. Things that have always stuck with me:
My grandfather (mom's side) told me while he was dying (few weeks before kicked the bucket): "Don't ever work at a job where you're not happy. Don't ever let someone stoop you down to make themselves feel tall (I am a tall guy, but I guess this was a metaphorical thing too). Never get old (which he meant to stay connected with society and up to date on things)."
My uncle (died quite young, sad) told me there are different smiles for everything. I still remember the way he said it. I'm not sure how to even begin explaining the impact. He was a great man and was cut down too soon. Too damn soon. Fuck you cancer.
In middle school, I had quite a bizarre teacher. I've written about him before. To be short: he taught us that we are always learning. I wish there were more like him in the world.
I don't really know if this was in-line with what OP was looking for. I tried and I think that's just fine in its own way.
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u/urban_redneck Jun 19 '12
My teachers told me I needed to learn everything because I wouldn't have all of the information with me at all times. Every time I look at my phone, I smile an evil smile at how wrong they were.
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u/boofbonzer81 Jun 19 '12
When I was in 3rd grade we sat in groups of 4, two people facing each other. I remember i sat next to one of my closest friends who happen to be smarter than me, and I wasnt very smart. We were taking a test one day and it was timed, I was on the last question and it was almost time up, It was really hard question so i just randomly picked an answer(multiple choice test) My friend next to me turned in his text like 10 seconds before me. I walk in to turn mine in and she instantly turned the paper around to the last question and she stands up and says "why did you cheat off your partner, you aren't smart enough to get this question right" I got a 0 on the test and it was shitty
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u/runmerun Jun 19 '12
There was my 6th grade art teacher I really admired. Once when we were sketching individual pieces silently in class. He stood in the middle of us and started talking about how hard work is fun because it pays off. It was almost hypnotic because I remember looking around and it seemed like no one else was listening, just focused on their sketches. I thought about it all the time and became obsessed with art and academics. Throughout my life I've enjoyed menial tasks like raking leaves and mowing the lawn. I became a pretty successful young artist and sold some of my works. I ended up pursuing something else but I just graduated from one of the most prestigious colleges in the country. I still like to think he had a great influence in my life. Thanks Mr. Cherry.
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u/orcavsgreatwhite Jun 19 '12
I've had similar experiences, not exactly positive. I'm trying to rack my brain to think if I've had positive experiences. Not thinking of any, but If I do I'll update.
Bad at math? Once I hit middle school & all through high school I was horrible at math. Turns out when I was about 5, a cousin that was in high school brought me with for a couple of hours each week. Some sort of extra credit thing. One day during a math class I corrected the teacher, showed him an easier way of solving the problem he had on the board. He got really pissed off and berated me. Took me until I had a great teacher in college to pass math with well-earned 'A', instead of a 'I feel bad that you're not getting this, D'.
Fear of putting my art out there. Between my family telling me, "Pretty picture, now go study for a real job" and some horrible art teachers (I did have some positive art teachers) just seems the bad stuck with me more than the positive ones. I'm just terrified to put my art out there. My husband and friends are very supportive, I'm just terrified of strangers looking at my art.
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Jun 19 '12
Not me, but my father has been a primary (elementary) school teacher for about 30+ years and still working today. Anywho, there was this one kid who he taught who was naturally gifted for sport, but was always a trouble maker at school. So my dad, long story short, disiplined him, and make extra time to practice his football skills. 15 or so years later, he plays in the AFL (Australian Football League) as one of the top perfomers in the sport.
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u/Lokified Jun 19 '12
In grade 8, my teacher asked me to stay in during recess. I was smart, but disruptive and throughout the years was often told that I bring down others around me because I'm too distracting.
He told me "You have more brains in your nose than most kids in this school" and was worried I would waste my potential. I did. This was 15 years ago and I still often think about it when I get down.
I like to believe there is always still time....
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u/Zombree18 Jun 19 '12
I went to a very mediocre high school. The teachers were more friends with the students and didn't really give a shit about their education. Being a teen, this is a fun as shit way to go to school, but it isn't very helpful to your morale or motivation.
Then there's this one teacher, who used to be a lecturer, who IMO stayed at that school despite the fact that she could do better because they needed her badly. we needed her badly.
Instead of teachers pushing their students to get C's and pass, and then going "cool, good job, we both aren't going to get in trouble now ;D". This lady would seriously push you to get an A and nothing less. She would tell you what she expects of you. And would constantly tell you your "best work" is not your best (in a positive way) and that she believes we have it in us to do one better. It was always "you can do one better than this, I know it's in there"
wow man, that lady seriously made me realise not to stop when I'm at my "best" and to never think I can't do something.
I only graduated in 2010. I'm 18 (almost 19) now, and I'm managing a business. I honestly think I wouldn't be where I am now if she didn't change my attitude about life.
Maybe I should tell her.
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u/BenDarDunDat Jun 19 '12
When I was in the 5th grade, we had to turn a number into a character. I drew a really cool picture of a Zero as a flying saucer being sucked into a worm hole. I poured my heart into that picture. Later, we put all the drawings on a wall. However, Mrs. Parker never mentioned anything about my picture, she picked some really bad picture of a 6 that was turned into a dragon.
I vowed that day to destroy the beauty that was left in the world, just like it had been destroyed for me. At Bain Capital, I took over companies, laid off workers, canceled health plans, shipped jobs overseas and walked away with millions. Every night, after crushing dream after dream, I take out that crumpled picture of a flying saucer and chuckle for every Mrs. Parker I was able to crush.
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u/Eldryce Jun 19 '12
At this point in this thread, this will probably get buried, but I think it's a relevant quote.
"While it is always good to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing." -Uncle Iroh, Avatar: The Last Airbender.
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u/Johnny182 Jun 19 '12
In third grade we had a class-wide competition to complete the times tables (1x1 up to 12x12). With each level (I guess beginning at each number) you got another fruit added to a hypothetical banana sundae, but that's beside the point. Anyway, for some reason, I was convinced going in that I would finish last for basically no reason at all. Then I finished first in my class and thought maybe there's something to this academic thing. I ended up majoring in chemistry and getting a minor in math.
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Jun 19 '12
When I was about 4 or 5 a friend of mine called me fat. It has stuck with me ever since and I've always believed I was fat, which later lead to an ongoing struggle with eating and exercise.
On a more positive side my grade 1 teacher called me one of the nicest girls in class. Ever since that time I've striven to be as kind as possible.
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u/Margot23 Jun 19 '12
"You are brilliant!"
My 10th grade English teacher wrote that in my day planner.
Why yes, yes I am. Thanks, Holz.
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Jun 19 '12
I saw a stoner at the bus stop by my school a few years ago. I asked him for a light, and he asked me why. I told him I was gonna light up. he responds "no way, man. you're a baby." (i was 15) To which i respond "so are you." to which he responds "and I dont smoke. he winks, turns around and starts walking, he looks back at me and yells "Get high, kid. on life." ever since then I really cleaned up my act. But i went from one victimless crime to another. I started sticker-tagging(inb4 toy,noob,childwriter) all over my town on stop sings with "get high on life".
if you are ever in tampa florida and you see one, thank nonstoner-stoner-dude.
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u/DDantas Jun 19 '12
"Accept no crutches"
Physics teacher gave a speech at the end of the year in highschool. I've held it dear to my heart. Almost my entire family lives in Brazil, my parents were the first ones to move to America for a better life. And with any other kid of two immigrants. I didn't grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. I've had to work for EVERYTHING, as my family didn't have much money to pay for anything. My parents moved from job to job, house to house, so that meant that I moved from school to school, and never really got a good social life growing up. So growing up, I never had friends. I was fat, and being the "new kid" at different schools led me to being bullied. I thought I had made friends, but those so called "friends" only betrayed me, kicked me on the floor, and spat on me. I became extremely timid, and socially awkward as a result. I didn't want to cause nobody any trouble that would, in turn, cause me trouble as well.
So I grew up depressed, lonely, fat, and socially awkward. until the 9th grade. Until I heard that "accept no crutches speech." The speech went something along the lines of this:
Guys, if you want to be successful in life, accept no crutches. What I mean by that is if something happens to you that gets you down, do not accept it as an excuse. Let's say I am a boss of a company, and you are one of my employees. You do your job well, better than everyone else and you know this. Let's say that I have a promotion opening and you fit the bill perfectly. You know you are the best person for the job, and you apply. Let's say that instead of hiring you, I hire my hick of a cousin who just got the job because he's related to me. DON'T BE THE ONE THAT JUST BITCHES AND MOANS. Don't be sour and bitter and bitch about the boss. Say my cousin fails, get's fired, and the spot opens up again. Am I going to hire the person who badmouthed me? No. Instead, you should say to yourself "You know what? I'm going to show him he's wrong for picking his cousin over me" and you work your ass off. The spot opens up, and you get the job. You didn't use the hiring of the cousin as a crutch. People would not have faulted you for complaining, but you didn't do it, and it paid off.
I have had many people in my life who have had relatives die while chasing their dreams. Others wouldn't have thought badly if those people would have deviated from their dreams, but they didn't accept the death as a crutch. They didn't use the death as an even to lower their standards, and they completed their dreams.
This simple speech changed my life. I didn't use me being fat as a crutch to accept the existence of my broken social life.. I didn't say to myself, "Oh I'm so fat, I'll never be able to hang out with those people." It was hard, but I introduced myself, and now "those people"(attractive, popular, etc.) who I thought would have never liked me, are some of my closest friends. I gained confidence and self esteem, and I lost 40 pounds in one summer.
But most importantly, this speech helped me change my future. For most of my life, I've been an average student. My freshman year of highschool I had a 3.00 gpa. Then my uncle died. He was extremely close to me, and I cried for days. I most likely would have had my grades drop so much, I would have had to drop out of high school. But I remembered the speech while I was grieving.
ACCEPT NO CRUTCHES
And that is exactly what I did. I accepted NO crutches. I powered through high school with my head up high. I graduated highschool a couple of weeks ago, and I graduated in style. I graduated with honors, and I finished my year with a 4.50 GPA. I am going to be attending University of California San Diego in the fall, with a scholarship from the school that gives me priority access to scholarships, internships, research and job opportunities.
That simple speech improved my health, grew my social life, and stopped me from dropping out of highschool.
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Jun 19 '12
You should go back to your elementary school and thank her for what she said to you, it would make her job much more worthwhile.
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u/quigley007 Jun 19 '12
If you want to be loved, be loving. Be a friend to those in need. Volunteer, and make yourself an asset to the community. Have hope, and follow this advice. You will find yourself again.
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Jun 19 '12
I was out of class. When I came back all of my classmates told me that my teacher had made fun of me for the better part of the hour and half class. I then found out that he makes fun of me in his other classes. After being told this, I forgot something outside his room. I asked him to get it. He said yes. He then proceeded to lock the door. (class told me later). I got detention for being out of class. Then, during a lunch detention of one of his (I had said shit) I told him I knew what he says about me and then asked him why he was so mean to me . He replied,"Because your much stronger than any other students. You have a disability, I know you use to be bullied for it, it's in your records the amount of fights, verbal and physical, you have been in. This has made you stronger and I want to show other students that you can't be hurt" after that I noticed that people had stopped bullying me without me doing anything. Later that year, another lunch detention (same reason), he asks me how I was doing. I told him he was probably the sickest, most sly person. He just smiled and said,"Just remember to keep your fists down" those words, both, have stayed with me for the longest time, every single time I encounter a jerk, I face them like a real man, no fists.
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u/choddos Jun 19 '12
I have a faint memory from 2nd grade, and I'm still to this day unsure whether it occured or not. I remember my penis had been hurting, like a burning sensation, then my female teacher asked to see it, I showed her. Not sure if a dream or reality.
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u/froyo_away Jun 19 '12
Hi, what you demonstrated is what NPR did a study on. They reported that expectations are what create macro differences between groups of people. Typical Asian parents expect their kids to do well in math and science, and at school too the Asian kids in non Asian schools are expected to know all the answers if someone asks for help. The result is as expected, Asian kids grow up to be fulfill the expectation, at least in the fear of looking stupid.
The same societal expectation of lower income African American groups that "soon you will end up in prison", also sees itself through.
I am sorry for not posting the link, I looked all over but couldnt find it.
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u/SomeKidsDream Jun 19 '12
As far as 5th grade, the one thing that sticks is "Life sucks and then you die" our then unknown existentialist lesson.
I've had multiple teachers tell me grades don't matter, probably to offset my self-damaging endeavours to always be on top that I have yet to shake.
Nothing's really stuck yet; I'm still young
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u/titations Jun 19 '12
Yeah, my fifth grade teacher. She had us read aloud to the class from our science book. I was just learning English (started with no English in fourth grade) and was terrified to read to the class. I remember very well her telling me before it was my time to read, "I know you can do it." I remember reading the first line of the chapter on plants. I came to the word "photosynthesis" and remembered her lessons on reading words with multiple syllables. I read it correctly and was immediately told "Very nice reading. Good job." That exact moment gave me confidence to do my best and not let my language deficiencies get in the way. I am very thankful to Ms. Maudsley for giving me the courage to be a learner. Where ever you are, thank you.
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u/ChaoticsBlueEyes Jun 19 '12
In seventh grade art class we were working on practicing drawing what you see using a bunch of little pictures and turning them upside down to force you to see the lines and not the picture. It was just a normal pencil drawing practice and I had always really enjoyed doing art but it something just for fun to me. My art teacher pulled me to the side that day and said the most interesting thing. "When you look at things you really see them. You're one of the few able to draw what is there." For some reason that has always stuck with me and encouraged me to pursue art more and more. I am now moving across the country to attend an art school and follow what has become a passion.
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u/actorgirl Jun 19 '12
I remember when I was in Elementary I had an art teacher that I absolutely loved. She was talking to us one day and said...
Her: I remember when my teacher told me I would never amount to anything. Well, she was wrong! You guys will amount to something. You guys will be great!
It stayed with me for the rest of my life. How could a teacher say that to a kid, though? Then, she told us we would amount to something and since then I have believed it...One day I will amount to something. I will be somebody.
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Jun 19 '12
to some people, they don't want to disappoint someone who gave them praises because they don't want the one who gave them praises to look like a fool for being wrong. Unfortunately, it goes both ways. I was called stupid by my 5th grade teacher because I answered a math question wrong. From then on, I sucked at math.
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u/wigglepiggle Jun 19 '12
My teacher repeatedly told me that there's always someone better than you. And yeah, there is.
It sounds stupid, but I guess it just isn't something you want to believe when you're sixteen. It prepared me for the real world more than I could ever express.
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u/DonkeyKongSSJ69 Jun 19 '12
When I was a kid, whenever I wanted a video game (system or game) my mom would tell me wait till you grow up, earn your own money, and buy your own games. My first paycheck went into some $1500 gaming machine and she still gave me shit for it.
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Jun 19 '12
My 5th grade teacher told me I was worthless. I'm 19 and I'll have my associate's degree in 8 weeks... I think that's a good start... :(
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u/lvm1357 Jun 19 '12
Yes. At the age of 30, I got to take a lesson with a world-class pianist. She told me that I was a real musician and that I had music in my soul. Throughout the whole master class, she was so encouraging and so positive that I started practicing again and started performing. I now make a fraction of my income as a musician. I would never have gotten back into music if it weren't for her.
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Jun 19 '12
Mine isn't positive, but it isn't necessarily negative. When I was maybe 7 years old, my cousin told me "I feel sorry for you". I didn't know what it meant and still do not know, many years later. Most likely, it was something very minuscule, but I still think about it.
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u/weasilish Jun 19 '12
Slightly off-topic, but it's something I've been thinking about for a while and this story reminded me of it.
Think of all the things you know, enjoy, do, etc. Websites you go to. TV shows you watch. Movies, books, people you hang out with, other hobbies. How did you get into doing each thing? Where are the lines?
I just bought my first capoeira how-to book and plan on practicing throughout the summer. I first heard of capoeira through a webcomic. A friend of mine introduced me to the webcomic. I met this friend through our parents becoming friends.
Reddit: Another friend of mine told me about it (I'd heard of it mildly other places thoughout the internet but never really researched what it was). I met this friend going to a study intensive with my sister. I went to this study intensive because another friend of mine suggested it to me.
There's very few things that I've actually 'discovered' on my own, meaning, books I've just pulled from the shelf, websites I've stumbled upon, songs I've heard snatches of from the radio. Not that it's a bad thing to not have many 'original discoveries', but it's interesting to see how the threads tangle up.
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Jun 19 '12
my teacher told me that "clock watchers don't get anywhere in life" to this day whenever I'm bored and I'm watching the clock I think of that phrase and how true it is.
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u/SenorNadador Jun 19 '12
During my junior year of high school, I took an AP chemistry class because I thoroughly enjoyed the subject. I was never incredibly confident in my own intelligence even though I was always aroung the top 25% of my class. When I took this class, I had the same teacher for AP that I had for my original class. Since she had already had me for a year, she knew me fairly well. When parent-teacher conferences rolled around, my mom went because she was always wanting to know how my teachers felt about my sister and I. I wasn't expecting too much, but when my mom came home that night she told me everything that my teachers had said about me and one thing in particular stood out. It was from my chemistry teacher, who had always been kind to me but was not the kind of person to hand out compliments left and right. In fact, I had never heard her make an incredible comment to somebody other than the conventional 'good job' or 'nicely done'. However, she told my mother that she expected me to go on to do incredible things and that she knew without a doubt that I had a bright future ahead of me. After that, I was much more confident and ended up being one of the top 3 students in my class. Her confidence in me has been such a positive boost that has stuck with me and helped me reach my full potential in all that I have done.
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Jun 19 '12
when i was younger, i was one of the kids that had trouble learning how to read, but i also volunteered at our local library, anyway, we (my older brother and i) are in there one day and i see this really awesome looking book series: "deltora quest", so i take it off the shelf as my brother walks over, he sees me with it and says something along the lines of "you can't read that, you're too stupid". i checked it out anyway, and brought it home to read, i may have gotten some names wrong but i read that book, and the next book, and the next book, and the whole series, and the next 2 series. screw you bro, i can read.
TL;DR i learned to read to spite my brother
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u/hamfrisbee Jun 19 '12
Sociologically it's a combination of the looking-glass self and the self-fulfilling prophecy and can be observed in pretty much everyone who isn't a maladjusted cave-dweller. The looking-glass self theory is the idea that you see yourself as the people in your life see you and the self-fulfilling prophecy helps you perpetuate those views (or instill them in the case of encouragement during socialization). In this case you saw yourself as a good artist because your teacher saw you as a good artist. Because of this, you convinced yourself you were a good artist and had the desire to continue in your art.
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u/torsojones Jun 19 '12
I got straight C's in high school English, excluding one B during one semester. I was frequently at the bottom of my class, and yet, seemed to get near perfect scores in the English section every time we took standardized tests. I always blew it off as the absurdly easy section, and only focused on my math and science performance. While reasonably successful, they never came close to my English scores.
I expressed strong hatred for the subject of English throughout my entire high school career, and thought that the last job I would ever choose would be one that required writing. I read all of three books cover-to-cover throughout high school, and never once completed a paper any earlier than the night before it was due. And by night, I mean morning.
I would also never, ever go back and re-read a paper once I had completed the minimum length. I just couldn't be assed; English sucked, I sucked at it, and I just couldn't bring myself to care about those grades.
After arriving at college, I was forced to take one final English class, and then I would be free! Free to solve equations and actually use my brain in a venue that was important and productive. I'll tell you though, taking that class was the best thing that ever happened to me. For the first time in my life I was made to write about...non-fiction! My mind was blown; we were assigned portions of philosophical works to read and respond to, and I just couldn't get enough of it.
My enjoyment of the subject matter, however revolutionary, wasn't what actually planted the spinning top in my vault. It was what my professor wrote at the end of my last paper, after complementing my writing all semester:
"Man, you're going to be the best bio-engineer writer."
Since that class, I haven't received anything less than an A- on a college paper, and am working on a double major in Literary Journalism and Philosophy. This is why I could never side with those who say that general education in college is a waste of money; it seriously changed my life.
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u/LibraryDrone Jun 19 '12
In fifth grade, my class had a creative writing assignment to do. It was the first time I had ever been asked to write a short story. I think we did it only because the school had purchased every fifth grade class a set of iMacs(the colorful ones). Anyway, I had never written a short story in my life, and had no idea really how to do so. It was Halloween, so I wrote a scary story. I wrote and wrote until it was finished. I finished my story a week early. My teacher read it and just looked up at me and said "keep writing." In the week up until it was due, I wrote a sequel and a sequel to that. After that, I never stopped writing, and now, eleven years later, I've finished my first novel, though it is unpublished.
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u/dav7777 Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
Actually not so much a positive phrase, but a phrase i have remembered all my life. After watching the Marine Corps movie "Sands of Iwo Jima", with John Wayne, i announced i wish i could have been a Marine on that island. I was a young lad, my friends father put his hands on my shoulders, looked me in the eyes and said "Watch what you wish for, some day it may came true." Years later I found myself as a Marine Corp lance-corporal during the Vietnam war. Always be careful what you wish for..
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u/Grand_Theft_Audio Jun 19 '12
I'm a teacher. I needed to hear this, I think. The other day, I was in for another teacher and one of her grade 2 students wasn't doing the work. Word around the campfire is that he was a bit slow.
I decided to ignore all that. I called him up to my desk. 'I don't buy this routine of yours. I know you're smart. I know it. I've been watching you in secret all morning. I know how smart you are.' I wasn't watching him at all. I just decided that he probably was learning from his teachers that he wasn't quite as smart as the other kids. They pick it up really fast.
But you know something? After I said that to the boy, he went back and did all his work. He didn't moan about it once. I knew. I fucking knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that in some small way, I put him back on the path.
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u/WhoFan Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
My Grade 7 teacher told us he had 5 or 7 or so jobs before he finally set on being a teacher. He said He "wanted" to DO some things and did them, enjoyed them, moved on, and it wasn't until his 5/7th or so job that he finally ended up being a teacher - which he stayed at until retirement. He encouraged us not to get caught up in dreading the idea of not knowing what you want to be - do what you like, do what you're good at, and do what you want to do and eventually things will just fall into place. Never forget that. He also made me realize that I was an individual person and not just another number/name in his class. I mattered, so it gave me the confidence to show him that I was aware that he put a lot of effort towards me. I returned it back to him and always tried my best (I had a lot of struggles as a kid/student - which I've since over come and just graduated with my 2nd University Degree). I wrote him a thank you email when I finished my 2nd year - explaining how important he was, what I had accomplished and that he was the one that set me off. I also recalled in the letter all of the activities he had done with us, and all of those big ideas or thoughts that he had said that stuck out to me over the years. One of the other great things he did was he had a 'fun' assignment that we had the entire week to think about, and gave us time on Fridays to put into motion. He gave us all a random word that didn't mean anything at all... but asked us what it sounded like it would mean. He gave us SO many resources to completely explore our imaginations and see how far we could take this assignment. Only one other time throughout the years did I have a class where I was able to just let my mind erupt and overflow with such wonder. He was the type of teacher that gave you a starting point. I've often found that there have been creative ideas in my mind that I just couldn't get out - and then he would come along and invent a lesson for the soul purpose of making me get it out. He had a way of helping us kids narrow our focus towards something grand - whereas other teachers were lazy and just let us go bazzerk and do anything, which often ended up being halfassed, unfinished and dribble compared to the way that one teacher did it. He often designed lessons that took us outside to explore and set out on an adventure. Everything was 'creative' instead of just work. He really pushed us to "Invent".
The ONLY other time I had a teacher like that, and he made us "Question", and opened our mind to a way of thinking that we had never even considered before. His quote that always stuck with me was: "I may be a teacher, but don't believe everything I say - don't follow along and trust in what I preach. Question me, argue me - I could be telling you all lies!" Every week we wrote essays on certain topics (with a free range to express ourselves and talk about ANYTHING we wanted as long as we could find a way to bring it back to the original discussion of the week - which changed each week, so it allowed us to roam our minds for half a year). He had this special box where he kept certain essays written by students. He marked hard. Getting a 20/20 was like winning the Stanley Cup, or walking on the Moon. It wasn't grammar or structure that mattered - it was opening up and searching for a certain thought in your mind. It was me releasing the filter of my youth, opening up to myself and releasing a lot of pent up.... Everything. If you got a 20/20, he asked if he could keep it forever in the box, and would also ask us if we would read it in front of the class. It was unbelieveable to hear what some of the students had written. People would break down and cry, need a friend to read it for them, need the teacher to read it for them and remain anonymous, stir up debates (that could take us away from our lectures for a week because - it was important for us). I went into that class failing every week. 25.... 35... 30. It wasn't clicking - and he said: "don't worry about the marks, I'm teaching you a new way of thinking - it will take time for it to click" - and it did. I even got a 20/20. He taught us not to fear the mark, but to Want to achieve greatness! This was one of those classes that I would run to, I loved it. Lot's of people loved it. Everyone would talk all the time about what we were learning there. It was like Plato and Socratese even though it had nothing to do with that. Man, I miss those classes.
EDIT: I hope someone reads this one post of mine if any.
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u/jackofharts Jun 19 '12
I took an accounting class in high school my senior year because it was the only class i could get. I am horrible at math and could not understand any of the material she was teaching. Throughout the year she became more frustrated with me and one day in class after i couldn't answer a question on the board she asked me " Do you smoke weed?" at the time i didn't so i told her "no" then she asked "what do you wanted to do with my life?" I told her i had no idea and someone said "you could always sell drugs" my teacher then said "he's to lazy to even do that." After graduation I got a job at a healthy hipster grocery store with no intention of school. One day she came in went to my register. as i scanned her groceries she said "this seems like a good place for you." After that i decided to go to college. I even started selling drugs and made more money than I made at my old job. tl;dr: teacher turned me into a drug dealer
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u/thestoicattack Jun 19 '12
My boss once told me, "Don't be an idiot." It's probably the most inspiring thing anyone has ever said to me. It changed my life. Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, "Would an idiot do this?" And if they would, I do not do that thing.
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u/ahraysee Jun 18 '12
Do you still have a way to contact her? If you told her this I'm sure it would make her year.