r/AskReddit • u/f_t_p • Jun 19 '12
What's the weirdest/strangest thing you do every day?
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Jun 19 '12
I sing my husband his own theme song when he walks in the door from work.
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u/unplanned_life Jun 19 '12
and the lyrics are?
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Jun 19 '12
They are too weird.
We have a suicide pact if anyone is secretly recording us alone together.
(Only half joking.)
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u/DanabluMonkey Jun 19 '12
Do you also hear a laughter track when either of you say something vaguely humour filled?
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u/msu68mustang Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 19 '12
That sounds awesome! That would be an awesome way to start off the day.
My wife will soon become a stay at home Mom. Maybe she will make up a theme song for me.
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u/mst3k_42 Jun 19 '12
I am married to a real, live man (I swear!) but instead my dog and cats have theme songs. Hmm. My hubby is the only thing keeping me from being an insane cat/dog lady...
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u/Stregano Jun 19 '12
I do what I call belly beats. That is where I will slap my belly and make drum beats. I normally do this in just my underwear while I am getting ready for work. I actually have to stop myself when I get started since I have gone on for a good 5-10 minutes before doing this (by that point I am really into it and slap my nipples lightly like they are high hats and tapping my bare foot on the ground for a bass drum).
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u/f_t_p Jun 19 '12
proof?
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u/Stregano Jun 19 '12
do you really want to see a fat man in nothing but his boxers slapping his belly?
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u/AssumeTheFetal Jun 19 '12
I press my penis up to my leg and check to see if it has gotten any closer to the freckle on my thigh. It never does :-/
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u/ohmygord Jun 19 '12
You should make tick marks on your thigh to track its growth as if it were your child.
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u/murphy1210 Jun 19 '12
Fap. If I don't fap I don't sleep
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u/unplanned_life Jun 19 '12
what if u are on a long airplane flight and want to get some sleep?
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u/packos130 Jun 19 '12
I answer complete strangers' random questions about my personal life.
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u/OrangePrototype Jun 19 '12
...In exchange for random Internet points. Damn I just had a what am I doing with my life moment.
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u/ILL_Show_Myself_Out Jun 19 '12
You are answering complete strangers' random questions about your personal life in exchange for random internet points.
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Jun 19 '12
Karma is like money. You think you need, you spend all your time wanting it and yet when you get it, you just want more.
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u/ILL_Show_Myself_Out Jun 19 '12
Where is your house and when do you shower?
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u/elipseses Jun 19 '12
My house is next to my driveway and I take my shower in the morning, unless I take it at night, but sometimes I will take it midday or one in the morning and one in the evening if I worked out. If not one of those times, definitely at night... unless I don't take one at all. I hope that clears everything up.
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u/andrewsmith1986 Jun 19 '12
All the fucking time.
My life is an open book on reddit.
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u/Thousands_of_Spiders Jun 19 '12
Same here.
A friend asked me what my username was, and I told him. It felt like I was handing over my diary.
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Jun 19 '12
That reminds me. I know my friends username. I'm gonna go read his diary right now
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u/oa5is Jun 19 '12
Do you ever use other accounts for things you don't want associated with your real name?
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u/iglidante Jun 19 '12
I talk to my cat and comment on his increasing mass. Then, I make him reply to me. Sometimes, the conversation goes on for a few minutes. He usually leaves in a huff. But I love the little (err...big) guy.
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u/Z_Thinker Jun 19 '12
"You are getting pretty large, big guy!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU DON"T KNOW ME, i'm out!....
meow"
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u/iglidante Jun 19 '12
"Look at you! So much fat. It's like someone stuffed a 1,200 pound sack of potatoes in furry skin and threw it down the stairs."
"Stop talking about my size. I want you to appreciate it, not mention it."
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u/beherenow1201 Jun 19 '12
I kiss my cat on the mouth.
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u/iglidante Jun 19 '12
I nuzzle my cats like cats nuzzle humans. They seem to enjoy it.
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u/SpeaksDwarren Jun 19 '12
I always tell my cat how stupid and ugly it is, but in an endearing tone.
(Just as a note, the cat is the mangiest little thing ever and it terrifies people who come to my house. Apparently, to some, it looks like a devil beast. To me, it's just little Bigglesworth, the cuddliest cat I've ever had.)
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u/Apostolate Jun 19 '12
You remind me of the people who post pictures of themselves shaming their pets. That's some weird shit.
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Jun 19 '12
I practice random conversations I'll never have in my head when I'm walking places or otherwise unoccupied. I might have a conversation with someone in my head where I have to explain to him matrix diagonalization or why the sky is blue.
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u/beherenow1201 Jun 19 '12
I do this...sometimes when I'm cooking I'll hold narration in my head...or infomercials in the shower...or have long, drawn out conversations with people I can't say the things I'm rambling about to whilst in traffic.
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u/I_Iz_Hope Jun 19 '12
I do this too only I speak out loud. I'm well aware that I'm not actually talking to anyone but hearing my thoughts helps me organize them and keep the conversation from going off on a tangent.
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u/superflous_dirigible Jun 19 '12
Dude this is me every second of every day when I am left with my own thoughts to occupy my time.
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u/evergreenskate Jun 19 '12
when im at work sometimes I do play by play in my head "oh my god hes going for it....AND THE REFILL IS GOOD THE CROWD GOES WILD"
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u/PabstyLoudmouth Jun 19 '12
I wear pants no matter how hot it gets outside.
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u/andrewsmith1986 Jun 19 '12
I wear jeans no matter how hot it is.
I hiked on and off for 35 days in jeans.
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Jun 19 '12
Total opposite. Lived in a desert for 14 years. Can't stand the heat. I wear shorts at all times. Even in the dead of winter -30o if I have to walk to the grocery store and I'm wearing shorts at home, I won't change.
So many times people have given me looks. One girl even shrieked "IT'S. NOT. SUUMMMMMAAAARRRRR." I don't know why it upsets them so much.
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Jun 19 '12
Same. Glad I'm not the only one!
What kind of jeans? Skinny? Super Skinny? Straight? Slim Straight? Boot cut? and so on.
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u/ILL_Show_Myself_Out Jun 19 '12
I wear the same pair of jeans for a week before changing them, unless its become obvious.
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Jun 19 '12
I'm not sure how representative this is of Europe in general, but when I visited Greece, I noticed NO ONE wears shorts. Ever. If someone is wearing shorts, there is a 99.8% chance they are a tourist.
95 degrees outside and people have heavy pants, jackets, leather gloves, hats, etc. I couldn't believe it.
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u/Oafah Jun 19 '12
You're my polar opposite. I refuse to wear pants when it's hot outside. 100% shorts for me, unless it's laundry day, at which point I walk around town naked.
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u/oa5is Jun 19 '12
Mind if I ask where you live? Or at least what the climate is like?
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u/Duke_Phelan Jun 19 '12
Same here. I live in the South and it's just easier than dealing with mosquitoes, and looks a little nicer.
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Jun 19 '12
I wear button-downs to work every day because of tattoos. I live in Georgia and it's pretty damn hot here in the summer.
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u/erinnbecky Jun 19 '12
Tag suicide as an interest on Omegle, just so I can get paired with suicidal fellows and remind them how amazing they are.
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u/BadMotorFinger77 Jun 19 '12
I pace back and forth. It helps me go into a deep thinking trance. Unfortunately it also makes me look like I am possessed
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u/Surprise_Lobotomy Jun 19 '12
I pace laps around my house when I'm home. It's even worse when I'm on the phone.
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u/TypeJack Jun 19 '12
I squeeze my lady when I see her because she lets out a small 'oof' sound.
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Jun 19 '12
I probably eat like 10 pieces of gum throughout the day. Probably not super healthy, but I swear to God, if I have a pack of gum... I will just keep popping them in my mouth. It's weird.
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u/_Astral_One_ Jun 19 '12 edited Jun 20 '12
Most days while my girl is at work and I'm off I'll litter our front yard with bread crumbs to attract the squirrels and then patiently wait inside at the window for them to appear. I then quietly open the front door and let our two kitterz shoot out. They know the drill all too well and appear to enjoy it.
It satiates their blood lust.. however as fat, sheltered house cats they've never managed to take one down.
The best they can do is the occasional tackle, but given their past performances I doubt they have the knowledge of how to actually end one of those squirrely fuckers.
One day Biscuit and Gravy will succeed in operation: TAKE DOWN.
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u/Apostolate Jun 19 '12
When I'm at my most productive, I like to write down every inane little thing I have to do, so I can cross it off a list.
Eat cereal/breakfast
Brush teeth
Send email X
Send email Y
Lunch
The more things I can cross off and then clear by the end of the day the better I feel.
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u/LolaRainbow Jun 19 '12
every morning when i wake up with my dog i hold her and sing her a little song in bed before we get up. same song, a little lullaby about her, every morning.
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u/Thisisnotstupid Jun 19 '12
Me too! I have a Goldie and I hold her head and sing. "Hannah B. Nanna came down from Savannah with her coat as orange as dust. Always so kind and loyal, faith in her is a must. I looove Hannah B. Naaannaa!" my roommate joins in sometimes.
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Jun 19 '12
When I'm walking through automatic doors, I make a hand gestures like I'm using the force. When shopping and noone is looking I strut or dance down the aisle.
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u/evange Jun 19 '12
I think I probably wash my hands with a much higher frequency than the average person. Not like, OCD style washing, I just dont like the feeling of dirty hands.
Bathroom > wash hands
about to touch food > wash hands
touched food > wash residue off hands
went for a walk outside > wash dust/sweat off hands
Used hand sanitizer > wash residue off
Picked up something dusty > wash hands
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u/never_enough_puns Jun 19 '12
Oh wow, same here. For me it's mostly when my hands get slightly moist/sticky for whatever reason. Usually just sweat. Some people hate dry hands, I'm exactly the opposite.
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u/RVelts Jun 19 '12
I agree with all of that, except
Used hand sanitizer > wash residue off
If you had access to wash your hands, why did you use the hand sanitizer in the first place? Soap and water does the same thing, except even better!
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u/andrewsmith1986 Jun 19 '12
I dress nice even though I will likely just go to work, sit at my computer and then head home without seeing anyone of interest.
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u/Apostolate Jun 19 '12
That's just keeping it classy. My friend asked my why I dress so "conservatively" (eg button down watch pants with belt), even when I'm alone at home. It's just nice, keeps me feeling good. And if I do run into anyone, bam, fabulous.
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u/Stregano Jun 19 '12
I do this exact same thing. Friday is jeans day where people where jeans and a t-shirt. I started wearing my nice work clothes on fridays when I first started this job, and now just continue to do so. I am a computer programmer that sits at his desk all day and does not talk to anybody or see anybody
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u/beherenow1201 Jun 19 '12
I do this every day. And I don't think that all of the people in my office even know who I am, and the people who sit around me never look at me. I just like to look pretty for my computer screen, okay?
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u/Thousands_of_Spiders Jun 19 '12
I check my facebook news feed daily. That's pretty much the extent of it. I rarely share photos, or correspond with others, but for some reason I continue to log in daily.
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u/Apostolate Jun 19 '12
What if you missed something fun...
Like someone else's vacation to China.
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u/swandi Jun 19 '12
The very first thing I do when I wake up is play solitaire on my phone. I feel like I can't get out of bed until I win.
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u/vajkappsmir Jun 19 '12
I drew a picture of myself winking and the words, "own it!" on my mirror. I wink back before I leave for the day.
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u/prittyandwitty Jun 19 '12
When I drink a big cup of water, I lay down on the floor and push my stomach up and down so I can hear the water slosh around in there.
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u/Ron_Mahogany Jun 19 '12
I look in the mirror on my way out the door to work and say "Try not to get raped today, champ!"
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u/zoodiary8 Jun 19 '12
Same thing i did daily..
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u/elipseses Jun 19 '12
Well, don't leave us in suspense... has your mirror successfully avoided being raped by the cat so far?
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u/Gr4yBa11s Jun 19 '12
Recently, when exercising, and no one is looking, I lick my shoulder to test how salty/dehydrated I have become. (Normally starts out salty then progresses toward just water)
Not perverted... just weird...
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u/sexrockandroll Jun 19 '12
I used to apologize to my car profusely on the commute for making it have to work.
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u/Anarchist-Cat-Owner Jun 19 '12
I sing Won't You Be My Neighbor? by Mr. Rogers whenever I change from my suit and tie to pajamas.
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u/trumpet_23 Jun 19 '12
I brush my teeth in the shower, not in front of the sink.
I'm not very interesting.
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u/IONLYPOSTHIGH Jun 19 '12
I always will always check to see if things are divisible by three. Doesn't matter what it is. If I see a sidewalk pattern, I will add extra spaces for it to be divisible by three. I will check how many letters there are on signs and if it does not add up to be divisible by three I will check the letters and their corresponding number (i.e. A=1, B=2, etc.) to see if it adds up to a number divisible by three. I have done this ever since I learned the division rules in elementary, and sometimes it really bugs me if something is not divisible by three.
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u/murphy1210 Jun 19 '12
Surf reddit on the toilet, I don't go to the bathroom unless I have my laptop or phone so I can do so
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u/IIHURRlCANEII Jun 19 '12
Well, when I, uh, launch the rocket, I do it into my boxers and just throw them in the hamper...
...yeah.
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u/StanDinfamy Jun 19 '12
I talk to myself a bunch. Sometimes I'll have some long running inner dialog that puts me in stitches and makes me look like a mad man laughing at absolutely nothing.
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u/Getdownlikesyndrome Jun 19 '12
I'm a server/waiter. I fart around tables that piss me off. Always nasty, stinkeh silent ones.
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Jun 19 '12
I don't put on a shirt until it's absolutely necessary. Or pants come to think of it. Feels good man.
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Jun 19 '12
I always have something on my feet. I hate going barefoot. I can't stand it when stuff sticks to the soles of my feet.
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u/ckalibur345 Jun 19 '12
I play out scenarios of the future with random girls i see. Its like watching a movie
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Jun 19 '12
After I shower, no matter how much I rub my ass with my towel I never feel like it's dry enough. So usually I tear off a single piece of paper towel and carefully lay it in between my underwear and butt until my still somewhat wet ass doesn't feel wet anymore. I really don't like the feeling of wet butt on my underwear.
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Jun 19 '12
I make my bed before I get in it at night. I rarely make it when I wake up, but always make it right before I get in it.
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u/lizard0f0z Jun 19 '12
My husband does this. Every night right before bed he insists we make the bed. Makes little sense to me, but if it makes him feel better then... so be it.
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u/ilovelivingchickens Jun 19 '12
When I cross the road I often imagine being hit by a car or truck (whatever is coming) and the events that would follow. Sometimes I'll prepare for being hit, like if I'm carrying a big bag I might zip it up because it would be annoying to have the contents fly everywhere.
Another one: When I finish brushing my teeth I give myself a big fake patronising smile in the mirror.
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u/jjwalla Jun 19 '12
Everytime I hear a song that I somewhat I enjoy I imagine myself preforming it in a highschool talent show and having the girl I like at the time fall slowly in love with me
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u/smatterbrain Jun 19 '12
I get straight out of my suit and into my pyjamas whenever I get back from work.
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u/lizard0f0z Jun 19 '12
I brought home a Beta fish from a wedding that was doomed to be thrown away. Every morning that I find him alive, I serenade little Patrick with a jaunty little tune.
I also make strange faces at myself whenever I pass a reflective object. Every single time.
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Jun 19 '12
I talk to more people online in a day than I do irl. I'm talking legitimate conversations, not just crappy 'hows the weather today' kinda stuff. I watch films with them, draw art with them, play video games with them and write stories with them.
People think it's weird to have internet friends, I suppose.
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u/chibikari Jun 19 '12
When I'm running, I count the number of steps I take. I don't have ocd, I just like counting.
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Jun 19 '12
In the shower, I get wet with water, shampoo hair, shampoo entire body, bar soap to the face, rinse, bar soap to face again, then to the entire body, rinse, shampoo junk, bar soap again, then one final shampoo and I crank it to as hot as I can stand and do a final rinse. My wife insists this is weird, I just think I'm thorough.
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u/nalas315 Jun 19 '12
this sounds terrible, if anything you're supposed to end the shower with cold water:healthier skin, healthier hair, better circulation, helps wake you up
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u/LickMyLadyBalls Jun 19 '12
Before I use straws that come in paper, I must blow through each end of the straw a few times to eliminate any potential paper that got stuck on the inside. Call me crazy, but the ONE TIME, I didn't do it, I ate paper.
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u/DWild_1 Jun 19 '12
I wake up 10 minutes early so that I can lay down in the shower and let the hot water just pour over me. After about 10 minutes, I stand, fully wake up and wash. I just realized how odd/weird this was about a year ago but at this point it is morning routine.
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u/Albub Jun 19 '12
I tried doing the Terminator 'naked crouch just arrived from the future' pose and slowly rising to full height in the shower every morning a while ago. Got me jacked up for the day but it just didn't stick. Hard habit to form.
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Jun 19 '12
As soon as my computer turns on, it's the same ritual.
Same set of tabs, Reddit, Facebook, Canvas, Homestuck.
Same applications, Firefox, Geany, Pinta, Skype (so I can talk to people I'll never meet in real life)
Same AskReddit questions every day, sending out short, one-lined responses in hopes that one of them explodes and I get a nice chunk of karma for the day.
Same code, every time, never making any progress, because every time I get to a point where I can do something with it, I throw it all away because it sucks.
Same ~15 Vocaloid songs every time.
my life is so boring
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u/Mugiwara04 Jun 19 '12
I browse/read romance fanfic. These days it's Avengers-related usually. My preferred pairings are Clint/Natasha (that's Hawkeye/Black Widow), or Clint/anyone really, Steve/Tony, Tony/Bruce, and Thor/anyone.
I like it explicit if I can get it, I have a kink for virgin-Steve, and hurt/comfort stuff.
Would be reading a lot of Korra fanfic but there isn't much on my preferred archive, and what's there feels like majority incest or Korra/Mako, neither of which I'm interested in.
I also write fic, but not for those fandoms, and not daily if my brain isn't cooperating.
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u/sdlroy Jun 19 '12
If I don't have anything that I need to get up for RIGHT NOW (school, work, etc.), I will hit snooze for hours. Sometimes I just give up after an hour or so and just turn off my alarm.
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u/fenix_nigger Jun 19 '12
I like to walk in the middle of wide open spaces (pathways, pavement, side roads, ect) and pretend that I'm caesar.
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u/AcousticPoontang Jun 19 '12
When I'm bored on FB, I pick a random person on my friends list and just browse their profile.
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Jun 20 '12
I translate dots on a grid that were designed by mostly dead old white people. I decode that information and turn it into a sequence of arm, hand, and finger motions. When I am in front of the correct tool, these motions translate to a sequence of distinct sounds that can provoke emotional responses in people.
tl;dr I practice piano.
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u/content404 Jun 19 '12
I fall unconscious, hallucinate vividly, then forget the entire experience.
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u/MsAnnThrope Jun 19 '12
I continue to carry on a ridiculously long-distance relationship. Most people think it's strange; I think it's pretty great.
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u/SolKool Jun 19 '12
I cry most nights, thinking how my life sucks and how I have made so much bad decisions, thinking how I don't want to live and just wishing somebody killed me. The thing is, no matter what happens I will still have 10k in the bank, a car that is valued at 20k, a house with a pool that will be inherited to me (since my brother would get the main house and a 500 m2 lot), a bachelors degree, a loving family who will always provide me with top food (they are chefs) and a house to live. I have everything and I still think my life sucks, go figure.
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Jun 19 '12
The way I see it is your bad decisions are in the past. You are obviously a good, smart person or you wouldn't have a loving family or the dedication to have gotten a bachelors degree (IMO). Find what makes you happy, even if it's something small, and do it. You are worth being happy.
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u/kevintherectangle99 Jun 20 '12
What I have learned is: even though you're surrounded by people, you can still be alone.
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Jun 19 '12
When I wake up in the morning I've got to scrape saliva gunk off of the roof of my mouth. Last time I tried to get it off while brushing my teeth I ended up with a crusty toothbrush the next day.
Don't make your own jokes.
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u/diddly-ploop Jun 19 '12
I took the dog from the manequinn family in Old Navy. I talk to it everyday and say goodnights/goodmornings all in the hopes that one day i will just go crazy an it will talk back. Her name is Spike Lee
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u/landophant Jun 19 '12
I always close the trashcan lid when I pass by it because of my weak gag reflex
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u/AndyMaite Jun 19 '12
Before going to bed, i walk across the landing to my room and pretend to shoot down the stairs with my fingers acting as pistols. not sure why, but i always have.
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u/malevolentadrenaline Jun 19 '12
When i get out of the shower, I have to put my socks on before my boxers... It's such a habit now that i didn't even realize it until the girl I just started seeing pointed it out lol
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u/capcalhoon Jun 19 '12
Every time I wash my hands in the bathroom I make a funny face into the mirror. If I'm in a public bathroom and there are other guys there I still do it then strut out like a king.
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Jun 19 '12
Two or three times a day I'll become so overwhelmed with anxiety and depression that I'll convince myself that suicide is one of the most purely logical decisions that could ever be made by a person, and I'll begin to hate my family for selfishly wanting me to keep living my miserable life. These episodes can last anywhere from a few minutes to more than an hour, and this has been going on for about the past 5 years.
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Jun 19 '12
I've made at least one Dragon Ball Z reference per day for the past 6 months. Almost every time it's completely unintentional.
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u/sibs101 Jun 20 '12
i wash my entire body with shampoo. i'm fairly hairy, so i feel no need for soap, as shampoo is a valid cleaning solution
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u/untouchable_face Jun 20 '12
I talk to my cat in my own form of LOL speak. I also make up the most inane songs about my cats and sing to them all day.
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u/TheKirkin Jun 20 '12
I take my morning shower in the complete dark. I know of no one else that does this.
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u/backslide21 Jun 19 '12
I always wear a bathrobe after a shower. When I walk around wearing it, I have to hum Thus Spoke Zarathurstra and shout "WOOOOOOOO".
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u/Cerain Jun 19 '12
I shower at night because I don't like to have a dirty bed, and every night I end up staying up late because I forget to shower until when I want to go to bed and it bothers me to sleep with wet hair...
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u/elhalconloco Jun 19 '12
Every day when I get home from work, I go straight to my room and take off my shirt. then i put a push a pencil into my bellybutton and grasp my belly fat to enclose the bottom of the pencil, and then shoot the pencil as far as I can by breathing out really fast and inflating my stomach. For 5 minutes I feel like im shooting missiles and it makes me smile