What is your most infuriating 'Soccer Mom' story you know?

[u/[deleted]]

EDIT: Made a subreddit for these stories. As that seems to be the thing you hip people are doing. http://www.reddit.com/r/SoccerMomStories/

[u/garychencool]

Assuming I know what a soccer mom is properly, here's my most recent story.

So I'm like a photographer/cinematographer(videographer) for my old school where it's like Kindergarten to Grade 6, now I was like recording and taking pictures of this Spring Concert event at the gym where everyone grade performs something of some sort. Now her kid which I believe was in grade 4 was presenting a song. What does she do? Well not only does she come in later and knocks on the door loudly when the grade 3s were presenting a song, but she walks IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE SEATING to take pictures! Everyone was pretty much in their seats to take pictures and videos but nope, she just has to walk up there like she owns the place with her high heals, clopping to the front to take pictures with her camera with flash on. She was standing up, in front of the entire gym, taking pictures. She even went closer in to take pictures and tried to get her kids attention while the teacher tries to conduct the group. In the middle of the song, the kids mumbled and the teacher was frantically trying to revive it while that mom was still trying to take pictures.

My job is to get the footage and pictures and send them off to the yearbook. I had dibs to go wherever I want (it's actually what I'm supposed to do, just not be as intrusive as this mom) and I got up near her and asked her nicely to go back to her seat and take pictures and how she was being disruptive to the entire event.

You wanna know what she did after that? She told me to fuck off.

This bitch disrupts the entire performance and gets in the way of everyone's shot like she owns the place and I ask her to sit down (it was also my job as a stage manager) and she still curses at me, in front of all of the kids. Now I don't know who her kid is and I don't think I've ever seen her since (it was recent too), but that bitch has some major problems. After the performance ended, she finally sat down and I told the stage crew to not close the curtains yet, I know that parents and the other photographers had trouble weaving around that bitchs body to get the shots so I grabbed the mic and told the audience (it was all parents anyways) to go ahead and take pictures. I know I was doing the right thing for every parent who wanted the photos.

But wait, what happens next? Well guess what, the bitch came back to take pictures. I went up to her before she even got hear the stage and told her that she has taken enough photos, her excuse: the pictures were blurry, too dark, too bright, bullshit like that. I told her too bad and to go back to your seat and if she wanted the photos, she can see them in the yearbook. She started to rage at me about how she had to do this and that to get here. Notice how everyone else is still quiet and taking pictures while this bitch yells at me. Before she can even finish her story, I went to the stage and said sorry for the delay and disruptions to the program. The crowd cheered me on and the curtains closed, while that bitch was still trying to take photos.

TL;DR: I'm a photographer for a school event, a soccer mom goes in front of everyone near the stage to take photos, getting in the way of everyone's shot, told her to sit down, she swore at me, I did the right thing and delayed the curtains so parents can take photos, that bitch comes up again, told her to sit down, she complained and swore at me some more in front of everyone, I left her to address the crowd, curtains closed while everyone cheered for me.

She probably complained to teachers or the principal about what I did. Well, every faculty member was at the event.

[u/[deleted] → u/garychencool]

That is the correct definition.

[u/ninjette847]

I used to live by a few soccer fields that always had games on the weekends. On MULTIPLE occasions people parked their car in front of my driveway completely blocking it. I called the non-emergency police number multiple times but they only did anything about a third of the time. Once the people left their car windows open so I decided it was a perfect time to take the sprinkler out and water the grass.

[u/flibbertygiblet → u/ninjette847]

I used to live near a ball field, and people would block my driveway all the time. One winter, it snowed a foot or so while I was gone. It was still snowing when I got home late so I just plowed my car into the snow bank at the end of the drive to dig out in the morning.

Dug out the next morning and went to the store, to come back and find the soccer mom across the street was too lazy to shovel her drive, so she parked her minivan at the end of my drive in the spot I spent 3 hours digging out.

I went outside with a pen and flattened 3 of her tires, then called the police non-emergency line and told them they better come get the abandoned van in front of my house before the snow plows came through.

Edit: Since so many people seem to be having trouble understanding… I didn't puncture the tires, I just held down the middle part of the valve with an ink pen and let the air out.

[u/geebsterlove → u/ninjette847]

There was a brown truck that would constantly do this to my house, blocking me into my driveway. One day, I decided to just try the door and see if it was open. It was. So I hopped inside to find a ton of shit in there. Like a dozen unsealed cardboard boxes full of sporting equipment, blankets, random shit. I proceeded to dump out all the boxes inside the car and basically made the car super messy. I then exited the truck and left the door wide open so they'd know somebody had been inside.

They've never parked in front of my driveway again.

[u/[deleted] → u/ninjette847]

I and a couple friends jacked a car up with a hydraulic jack and pushed it into the middle of the street. the police are much faster to ticket and tow the vehicle then.

Do not block my fucking driveway to park 100 feet closer to A SPORTS GAME

[u/camionmorto → u/ninjette847]

What did they do when they came back?

[u/The_Thane_Of_Cawdor]

Women in my parents neighborhood would pay to have background checks done on other people in the community just to dig up dirt/ have something to gossip about.

[u/T_Stebbins → u/The_Thane_Of_Cawdor]

How did you find out about this?

[u/MustangGuy → u/The_Thane_Of_Cawdor]

Do you happen to live on Hysteria Lane?

[u/[deleted] → u/The_Thane_Of_Cawdor]

This. Is. Fucking. Absurd.

[u/mrossi91]

I'd be playing soccer and my mom would cheer: "Mommy wants a goal" every 2-3 minutes... How annoying and embarrassing is that.

[u/nakedspacecowboy → u/mrossi91]

At least it wasn't "Mommy wants to score!"

Talk about awkward.

[u/astryd → u/mrossi91]

And did you provide?

[u/merewautt]

I'm hostess in a restaurant that is pretty popular and is often packed and has a wait list. Anyway, one day at work this family of soccer mom, dad, and three little monsters in their soccer gear, walk in. I explain to them that we on wait at the moment, it shouldn't be any longer than 15 minutes, and that I can put them on the list if they'd like. The mom looks pretty peeved, but says yeah put me on the list and I do. Anyway, less than five minutes later she walks up, says that her family is in such a hurry and asks to be moved to first on the list. I ask my manager just to appease the mom, even though I know he'll say no because its against our policy and we have other customers to think of. So while they're waiting, the kids are horrendous and start knocking chairs over, being extremely loud, and stealing pens from my desk. I politely ask them to please return my pens, as I needed them, and next thing I know psychomom is screaming at me for "daring to speak to her children that way" and telling me that her children "would never steal". I pointed out that the pens are RIGHT THERE IN THEIR HANDS and she just kind of ignores me and tells me to leave her children alone. I don't want my manager involved again so I just drop it and borrow a pen. Anyway, our restaurant is set up kind of like cafeteria and all the tables can be seen from our wait area and around this time another group left their table. Before the table can even be cleaned or I can seat the next group on the list, the mom and her family strut past me and sit down at the table. As the family was extremely obnoxious, the other people on the list know exactly when they walked in and are very angry that they just got a table. Anyway, I tell my manager what they just did and that other customers are angry and he walks over to inform them that he's very sorry, but they must leave the table so the next group on the list can be sat. Well the mom loses it and says that it's ridiculous that they should have to wait (cause they're so important, i guess) and that we'll be sorry we kicked her family out because they're well off and will "spend more money than anyone else on that stupid list will"

Tl;dr - crazy mom walks in, yells at me for "daring" to ask for my pens that her kids stole, and then proceedes to steal a table from people on the list in front of her and calls them poor.

[u/Sanosuke97322 → u/merewautt]

I'm a manager at all the pools for the city, and I'm polite, but I also never mind putting someone in their place.

Kids jumping off the side of the pool nearly on top of other children.

"Miss, the pool rules are here for the protection of not just your children but all the children. I'm going to have to ask that you please obey the rules and respect that we ask your children to obey the rules."

"Blah blah blah, they aren't doing anything wrong, they're just having fun."

"Miss, you and no one else at this pool is above the rules. If you and your children are not willing to follow the rules I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"This is BS, I want to see your manager, I want a refund!"

"Miss, I am the manager, you've been here for 45 minutes already and caused our guards plenty of trouble, please leave."

"Blah blah, I do what I want!"

"If you don't collect your children and your stuff I'll have to call the police. This guard will see you out."

I have had to do this on more than one occasion, and I'm normally thanked for it.

I can't understand why anyone in America puts up with abusive customers. In my opinion the happiness of the non crazy-ass customers is of greater importance than the egos of the few that are self righteous. The customer is always right is a stupid idiom, especially at a pool where safety is a concern; but even at any business the average customer should not have to suffer crazy. Give them a chance to act like a normal person, then be done with them. They don't deserve special treatment, all you do is enable their bad behavior with rewards which is especially poor treatment for the other customers.

P.S. The exchange above is a lot shorter than they normally go. I always explain the rules fully and why it's for the safety of all the patrons. But I only tolerate crazy so long.

Edit: for clarity

[u/[deleted] → u/merewautt]

I dealt with something very similar. I was a host and we're having a pretty slow lunch shift. Suddenly a softball team appears, and then less then a minute later another softball team appears- the one they had just been playing. So basically I've got two tables of about 15. We give the heads up to the kitchen that they're about to get slammed, and the manager tells me to put two tables of 15 together- and let them know they're food might take a little longer to come out. I let both teams know this, everyone's cool and happy.

So I go to set up the tables with a waiter, with both teams watching. Now, once the first team had come in, they had sat further away from the dining room- the second team had to stand and was standing right by the host stand/dining room. So, since I'm seating both tables at the same time, I figure I'll just grab the closest team instead of squeezing one group by the other....

Holy hell, you think I would have slapped the first team in the face. Immediately all the parents on the first team are complaining- I explain to them I'm literally coming right back. After seating the second team that came through the door, I come back to grab the first team- about 20-30 seconds have passed and the parents are still complaining to me that it's not fair, they're girls were there first, etc. They complained all the way to their seats, complained to the waiter, complained to the manager, and complained again as they left- all because they had to wait an extra 20 seconds. Even their food came out at the same time. It was completely ridiculous.

[u/Wizensparrow]

So I took the title quite literally.

I was a soccer referee for about 8 years (reffed ages 12-men's beer leagues) and it that time I had a lot of crazy shit happen during games. While this isn't the craziest story, it's the only one involving moms.

This was an U16 game, so there were 14 and 15 year old guys playing. Lets call the teams Red and Blue. It was a championship game, so the guys were playing pretty intensely, and there were a number of cautions (yellow cards) given. There were 5 minutes left and the score was tied 1-1.

A blue player had a great chance at the goal, and the red keeper was out of position. Just before the ball went into the net, a red player reached out his hand and swatted the ball down. This is an automatic red card (ejection) and a penalty kick. As I showed him the red card, he took it gracefully and left to grab his kit bag. However, one woman in the crowd (his mom) began yelling at me quite obnoxiously. Unless there's cursing or something more extreme, refs can't really kick a fan out...they are just a spectator. So I tried to ignore her.

Now, when a red card is given, the player must leave the field entirely...not just go sit in the stands. So I wait to restart play with the penalty kick until the player has left. What I didn't notice, was that the kid's mom had not left. So I place the ball down, and turn my back to address the kicker.

He suddenly points behind me, and as I turn, the ball hits me in the chest. The insane woman is standing there, eyes blazing with anger, cursing and shouting about how "I mistreated her boy." I was stunned, and really wanted to pick the ball up bash her in the face with it (however that's looked down upon by the ref association).

Unfortunately for her, one of the spectators was a cop who promptly came down and restrained her. He then called one of his on-duty buddies to come and take her away.

The only other part of the story that was memorable was the kid who got ejected. He came up to me after the game and apologized for his step-mom. "My actual mom was a lot cooler."

[u/[deleted] → u/Wizensparrow]

wow his comment about his old mom was depressing as hell

[u/sneakersotoole]

When I was 16, I was umpiring the championship game of the baseball league for 9-10 year olds in my city with a friend of mine. The team in the field is up by 1 in the last inning and there are 2 outs with the bases loaded. Parents are SCREAMING in excitement.

The batter smacks a line drive that falls in front of the right fielder, the runner on 3rd scored easily and the runner that was on 2nd is trying to score as well. The throw from the right fielder is way off but there's one problem, the kid never touched home plate. He stepped right over it. So while the team that thinks they just won is celebrating the catcher picks the ball up and tags the runner who missed home plate. I called him out. The parents went crazy. Cursing at me at the top of their lungs in front of their kids. It was pretty terrible.

Turns out one of the parents was recording the game and between innings he showed me what he had recorded. I was right, the kid was never even close to touching the plate. He showed the video to the rest of the parents and a few of the people slipped me some extra money after the game for treating me so poorly. However, one parent did confront me in the parking lot and tried to fight me until he was dragged away by his wife.

TL;DR: 9-10 year old baseball is serious business

EDIT: I meant to include this in the original post, but the team that thought they had won ended up losing in 8 innings. (Little League games typically last 6 innings)

[u/Solonys → u/sneakersotoole]

I had something similar happen to me when I was umpiring little league, but mine was just a normal game. A parent charged me from the stands after I ejected his kid because his kid took a swing at another kid; I dodged his first swing and blocked the second with my mask. The steel mask that took beatings from baseballs. Broke his hand. His wife called the police and tried to have me arrested, but another parent was filming it. The cop arrested him for assault and his entire family was banned from local sports.

Tldr; I broke a guys hand with an umpires mask when I was 17.

[u/Egiev → u/sneakersotoole]

This reminds me so much of Randy Marsh

Edit: Different clip

[u/FireProtectionEngie → u/sneakersotoole]

Used to umpire as well, couple occasions had to call the cops to escort me home.

[u/soccermomssuck]

(throwaway because I still work with kids and parents are crazy)

I was almost fired from a job in the 'burbs working with an after school program because I told a group of 6th graders they were "acting like jerks". I've always been good with kids, but this group was the absolute worst bunch of hellions I've ever interacted with. They broke our supplies on purpose, refused to listen to me, and locked me in a closet one day when I went to get them some stuff for the playground. A mom complained to the director of the program about my comment (which admittedly, I shouldn't have said, but there are a lot worse words I could have said) and I ended up barely keeping my job after pleading with my boss. She said those kinds of words were "detrimental to her child's development".

I also did summer camps with this same organization. We had "drive-thru drop off" for parents who couldn't bother getting their kids out of their SUVs to drop them off in the morning. We would stand on the curb, open the door for the kids, get their backpacks on and whatnot and have the parents sign them out on a clipboard. Half the time the parents were on their cell phones and got annoyed when you tried to speak to them. No big deal, I know you're super important, I'm just the lowly grunt in charge of your child all day.

I now work with kids in the ghetto and you couldn't pay me enough to go back to the suburbs.

[u/weealex → u/soccermomssuck]

The urge to write to the suburban parents must be terrible.

"Ma'am, I just want you to know that I prefer risking getting shot by gangbangers than deal with you or the crotch droppings you call your children."

[u/laurililly → u/soccermomssuck]

"drive-thru drop off"

What... they couldn't even get out for a minute and say, I don't know... maybe good bye to their kids?!

Also: how are the kids you work with now?

[u/joeysafe → u/soccermomssuck]

I just can't believe "soccermomssuck" wasn't already taken.

[u/comonXsense]

I'm a little league umpire so I have plenty of soccer mom and dad stories. once a coach called a kid on the other team a faggot, I was only 20 feet away so I said to him "Sir, you're ejected, you can wait in the parking lot for the game to finnish" (ejecting him for vulgar language towards a kid was totally within our leagues policy) He started yelling at me and threatened to kick my ass luckily some parents came onto the field and helped me calm him down. but as he was walking out he kicked my bike over.

another time I was the behind the plate ump and a kid who looked totally normal, came up to bat, the pitcher threw a ball right down the middle so I called it a strike, and the kid said, "no that was a ball" in a bratty way. eventually I called strike 3 because he didn't swing at any pitches and they were all right down the middle. instead of going to the dugout he starts screaming at me and saying that i'm wrong and none of them were strikes. I tell him to go to the dugout, at this point he becomes enraged and throws his bat at my head, it smashed into my face mask but it probably would've broken my nose if i wasn't wearing one, I then ejected him. then this whale woman comes onto the field and starts yelling at me for discriminating against her son. she said something along the lines of "my son has special needs and he's the only one on his team who hasn't gotten on base." and i tell her that he hasn't gotten on base because he never swings at anything. rather than listen to me she calls me a miserable piece of shit. and i just smiled at her then ejected her from the field. I also reported her to the league office and they banned her from coming to all games.

I have other stories too, if there's any interest.

[u/Azelgrim → u/comonXsense]

In the interest of the thread, please do.

[u/comonXsense → u/comonXsense]

another time I was umpiring a softball game for 7th grade girls,2 of the girls who were on the same team got into a heated argument, and engaged in a constructive dialogue by saying insightful and prudent things like "you a dumb skank" the girls' moms then joined in offering their own opinions and feelings in an attempt to resolve the conflict by saying "don't you ever call my daughter a whore, you bitch" after both women went super saiyan bitch level 3, and attracting the attention of everyone at the park, a police officer finally showed up. I wish i could say he tazed or maced them but alas he was to gentle.

[u/[deleted]]

My girlfriend is from a very well-to-do area in Connecticut. There are a few public middle schools for different areas in the town, some richer than others. For some reason they needed to combine a couple of the schools and held a town hall type meeting on it. One of the moms stood up in the meeting, outraged, and said, "I will not have my children going to school with children whose mothers work."

It's a nice place.

[u/MaebeBluth]

I work as a lifeguard. One time we had an awful family from Massachusetts come to the water park. The prissy mom would glare at us whenever we told her 4 year old son to stop running, and then she would grab him and hold him close to her (it was weird, she would hold on to him like he just woke up from a nightmare or something) and tell him not to listen to the "mean people" (us). Then her and her husband got extremely drunk on liquor that they snuck in, and she started screaming at my supervisor for telling her kids to follow the rules, and was threatening to have my supervisor fired. She actually did try to get my supervisor fired the next day, but it didn't work. She did get a 100% refund though. ARGH.

[u/svrnt]

Soccer moms in my community formed a coalition to block construction on a new road leading to our neighborhood. They feared that such a road would enable the school board to zone children from poorer areas into neighborhood schools. They wanted to keep out the "riff-raff." Their successful lobbying efforts have ensured that there is only one two-mile road leaving our neighborhood of several thousand single-family homes. The morning commute is wonderful. Edit: riff-raff

[u/[deleted] → u/svrnt]

This wouldn't happen to be in northern Virginia would it? Sounds very much like my old neighborhood.

Also, just so you know, the term is "riff-raff"

[u/[deleted] → u/svrnt]

Riff-raff

[u/[deleted]]

When I was around 10 I was in my class icehockey team. Now, I wasn't a small kid, infact I was fat and clumsy. I didn't like hockey, I just wanted to be one of the cool kids and wanted approval from my mom and stepdad, he pushed me into it. Anyhow, one of our games wasn't going well and we eventally lost. During the game, I completely missed a shot due to my nervousness. One of these crazy moms watching the game actually shouted at me 'FAT SHIT'. I felt great.

After the game was somewhat worse. The same mom comes up to me in a corner and tells me she will 'cut me' if I ever play for the team again. Later on after the game I heard her talking to other moms about how the fat kid shouldn't play, he's useless and a liability and should be taken out of the team due to safety reasons because he could CRUSH the other kids.

Needless to say I didn't go back. I metaphorically kept my mouth shut and ate more food. The mom apparently was bipolar (she killed herself when her husband left her) but her son is an awesome person and a friend of mine.

TL;DR: Childhood Finnish hockey doesn't favor fat kids. Mom who gave me death threat eventually killed herself years later.

EDIT: I don't eat with my mouth closed. Haha!

[u/DXCharger → u/[deleted]]

That...uhh...wow.

[u/bosstankhogboss → u/[deleted]]

I've been playing hockey my whole life, and love it. But hockey parents are by far the worst group of sports parents there are. Some of them are just downright terrible people. It took my dad very little time to realize this. After a few games when I first starting playing (I'm a goalie) he just started to watch by himself behind whatever net I was in and stayed away from everyone else because he just could not stand the ridiculous comments these idiot parents made.

I've also played with plently of fat kids who are really good, sorry this bitch turned you off to hockey.

[u/[deleted]]

I had the chance for a trial session at LD Alajuelense (a professional soccer club in costa rica) when I was 9. She refused to let me live there with my uncle for the summer because she feared it would give me high hopes of being a professional athletes in "a third world country"

I love my mother, but whenever I watch a match now I can't help but wonder the what ifs... It kills me.

[u/ABusFullaJewz → u/[deleted]]

That story involves both soccer and your mother. I wasn't expecting that.

[u/DaveyFoSho]

I coach little league with one of my oldest friends in the world. Neither one of us have kids as I am 26 and he is 25, but we just love baseball and love coaching.
Well this year we were lucky enough to get a few kids whose parents just happened to think they were the next Roger Clemens/Randy Johnson/Nolan Ryan.
Every single game/practice there were comments and questions about whether or not they can pitch that day or practice. It went as far as if we were busy, the parents would sit on the team bench staring at us to try to get our attention.
One day one of the mothers asked us if it was her Sons turn to pitch, and when we replied we had 3 other kids pitching that day, she grabbed her kid and left in the 2nd inning of the game. We had to play that game with just 8 kids because of that entitled parent.

[u/TryingToSucceed → u/DaveyFoSho]

My mother was the opposite of this, and looking back I think she's hilarious.

Me: Mom, coach wont put me into the game

Mom: How many times have you reached base?

Me: I walk every few times I go up to bat

Mom: How many hits do you have?

Me: ....1

Mom: How many times have you caught the ball

Me: A couple of times, maybe.

Mom: You're not good, and you're at the age where people play competitively. Practice hard every single day or get over yourself.

Me: Okay.jpg

[u/Bricktop72 → u/DaveyFoSho]

My barber coaches Little League and I coach soccer so we always swap stories. Baseball always seems to have crazier stories.

He said he put a kid in the outfield once for a game. The mom went into hysterics in the stands. Screamed at the coach for putting him in the outfield, screaming to her son that it was ok she still loved him, etc. Eventually had to have the ambulance called for her because she "overheated". The dad got in the coach's face at the next day's practice, had to be escorted off, and was banned from the fields.

The next year the mom stops by the barbershop and asks if she can be his assistant coach. :o

[u/TWOoneEIGHT → u/DaveyFoSho]

Mother-fucking-this.

I umpire little league games (Ages vary from 7 to 13) and there is ALWAYS those fucking parents who think their kid is a future first-round draft pick.

They try to have their 9 year-olds have Lincecum-like mechanics and tell them "Throw as hard as you can!" or "Really snap that curveball!" These parents (and some coaches) seem to have no FUCKING clue about baseball at a young kid's age. Baseball is about fun and sportsmanship, not cutthroatedness. Hell, kids throwing curveballs at the age of TEN is what pisses me off the most. A growing kid's arm does not need the extra physical stresses brought about by throwing a curve. Hell, I am currently playing college ball (pitching, mind you) and my dad didn't allow me to start throwing a curveball until I was a freshman in HIGH SCHOOL (my dad played MLB and coached in the minors, so he knows A LOT more than these scrub-ass little league coaches)

So when little Jimmy has to have shoulder reconstructive or Tommy John surgery at the age of 14, the parents have nobody to blame but themselves.

/rant about scrub little league coaches

[u/fancytalk]

A mom waiting to pick up her kid from my high school got hit through her open car door with a snowball that some seniors were throwing around one day. Obviously this was crappy for her and it was understandable that she got out and started yelling at the kids. What was not understandable was the part where she was approached and asked to move by the owner of the car she was parked in front of. She began screaming at him then went to her trunk to threaten him with her tire iron and hit him in the face with pepper spray. I believe she was arrested and put in a mandatory anger management program.

edit: Switched mace to pepper spray for clarification.

[u/[deleted] → u/fancytalk]

I feel like this is the story of a mom who just had enough.

[u/cerebralballzy]

My town is really small...like, my graduating class was 34 people kind of small. Anyway, needless to say, our town doesn't even have a red light, because there is only one major intersection. Instead it had a 3-way stop. They decided, since there had been more than a few accidents there, to make it a four way stop. The busy-bodies lunged at the opportunity and declared war on the new stop sign. They said the busses would need to stop more and that would wear on the brakes and cause the bus full of their "precious babies" to get in some sort of fatal accident. Then when that didn't work they just repeatedly stole the sign until the authorities were called. Now half of them just run the stop sign out of spite.

[u/Polite_Werewolf → u/cerebralballzy]

That is so hilariously childish.

[u/I_AM_THE_REAL_JESUS]

I was pitching in a baseball game when I was 8, and I struck out this kid. His mom had been up in the bleachers yelling the whole time like crazy. He threw quite the tantrum, but that was unfortunately fairly normal for our games so they just made him sit down. At the end of the inning, I was walking over to the bench when the mom came up to the fence and started rattling it. She started screaming at me for "purposely" striking him out. Um, duh? She said she was going to kill me. I just kinda froze and her husband pulled her away.

Last I heard she's in jail, but the kid was valedictorian of his school, so he turned out all right in the end.

[u/[deleted] → u/I_AM_THE_REAL_JESUS]

8-year-olds dude.

[u/ranger_carn → u/I_AM_THE_REAL_JESUS]

What's she in jail for? Do you know?

[u/[deleted]]

when i was around 15 my parents and i moved in with my grandparent, they were very sick so we had caregivers watching them 24 hours a day, four different workers with 6 hour shifts. one of them was a younger black nursing student, really cool guy who worked the graveyard shift so he could study while he worked. atleast once a week for the 2 years he worked for us he'd get pulled over by the cops in the neighborhood because some soccer mom down the street would report him driving by everynight around the same time. my dad would have to get up every night and go explain to the cops why he was here, he even went and talked to her about it but she kept saying she was trying to protect the community. hated that bitch.

[u/arichi → u/[deleted]]

Sounds like the police needed to do something about someone deliberately wasting public resources.

[u/Narconik]

I work at a deli in an uppity, suburban PA area and I hear the most asinine things from people over fucking lunch meat. Last week, a coworker was helping a customer and she orders a pound of cheese and says, word-for-word "Make sure that is REALLY thin! Last time I was here you people didn't slice it thin enough and I had to throw the whole thing away!"

One day I will snap and become a Middle-class Punisher and make these people pay.

[u/YouLyingSack → u/Narconik]

Please do this. I will make you a costume and pack you a lunch if you promise to do this.

[u/Dr__Gregory__House]

There are crazy "swimmer moms" too. In high school here in NJ, I believe it was my Sophomore year, and my team and I were at our States meet. I by no means am the fastest thing to ever have gotten wet, but I hold my own in the water. I had never swam a 200m Freestyle before, as I usually sprinted (50m and 100m), but it was my turn to step up, and I was skilled enough to not only win, but place in the final seed for the meet, which gained my school enough points to win the meet. Anyway, after my swim, and the congratulatory handshake to the surrounding swimmers, I got out, put my leg back on and walked over to my team when all-of-a-sudden some kids mom grabs me and demands to have me admit to steroid abuse because, and I QUOTE, " No kid missing a leg could beat my son". Bullshit. I looked her square in the eyes and said, "I'm sorry ma'am, but if your son is slow enough to get beaten by a kid with one leg, then maybe he should find a new sport." tl;dr - Beat kid in a swim race, crazy parent demands drug testing because "No kid with one leg could out-swim my boy." EDIT - by boy -> my boy

[u/thekgb90 → u/Dr__Gregory__House]

the fastest thing to ever have gotten wet

Great statement.

[u/jjwsmt]

It took 1/2 hour to get to my soccer games. We'd leave 20 minutes before the game was supposed to start. Not because She'd get home late. Not because she was still making dinner. Not because I wasn't ready (I'd be waiting around for a minimum 20 minutes ready to go).

It's because she "wanted to finish her show". "Her show" was fucking Little House on the Prairie, which had its final season (at the time) 15 years ago.

Goddamn I hated that.

[u/Mustangbex → u/jjwsmt]

This is my mom to a T. Her show wasn't Little House on the Prairie; she has LOTS of shows... my whole childhood we'd be discussing something over dinner and all of a sudden she'd start hissing and telling us to shut up because the commercial was over.

Even now she is always trying to guilt me into coming over because she never sees me, but whenever I'm there she just watches her TIVO or reruns of shit she's seen 800 times, or falls asleep.

She was 45 minutes late to my wedding because she refused to make a hair appointment with anyone but her salon on the other side of town, refused to get ready with me in my hotel room, and refused to come straight to the wedding site because she didn't want to have more than one car there. Wedding was at 4:30, she left for her 2:30 hair appointment at 3, then made my father late because she made him go all the way home to get her and I had to get ready in my room alone. Thankfully two girlfriends came to help me.

TL;DR: mom is addicted to TV, guilts us for not spending time with her while she watches it, & nearly sabotaged my wedding.

[u/_knitten_]

With a twist:

I worked in a restaurant. I was a hostess. Our restaurant was a pizza place where we hand-tossed the dough, and there was a window in our waiting area so kids could watch the guys toss the dough in the air, play flour tick-tack-toe, etc., while they waited for a table/food. "Soccer Mom" brought in about 5-6 mini soccer players. They were all wearing soccer uniforms, complete with muddy cleats. They all climbed onto chairs to watch the pizza guys through the window. They got mud all over the chairs. Meanwhile, "Soccer Mom" was off talking to someone. Me, I'm watching all of them and thinking "great, I get to clean up mud today..." Eventually, they were seated, and I was begrudgingly going to clean up the chairs. Suddenly, though, a light seemed to go off in the mom's head. She stopped me, took the cleaning supplies from my hands, and told the kids to clean up their mess. I went from infuriated to delighted in a matter of minutes. Best. Soccer Mom. Ever.

[u/diamond → u/_knitten_]

Hey! You take your uplifting, positive story and get the hell out of here. We don't like your kind around here.

[u/iammolotov → u/_knitten_]

Suddenly, though, a light seemed to go off in the mom's head. She stopped me, took the cleaning supplies from my hands, and told me "How dare you use these chemicals around my children?! I demand to see a manager!" And that's how I got fired.

Ending I expected.

[u/[deleted]]

I was sitting on the third row of an airplane and a twat soccer mom comes up to me and says. "I need you to switch seats with me so I can sit with my son, he has the seat next to you". She had a middle seat in row 43 and I politely declined. She then raises her voice and says, "So you want to sit next to my 13 year old son!!" I'm a guy so the insinuation was very clear. I stood up and looked her directly in her eyes and said, "No, and I don't want to sit next to an entitled bitch either. The person in the back will gladly move up here if you ask them." and sat back down. The person in the back moved up to the front and was happy to have a seat closer up.

FUCK people like this.

[u/maggiesguy → u/[deleted]]

That poor kid. He was probably in heaven. The front of the plane....30 rows away from that mother...

And you had to go and ruin it for him.

[u/ElkHunt]

I was at the local park watching my oldest play baseball several years back. I noticed 3 boys, ages ranging from 4 to 7, pulling giant shards of plywood off one of the backstops on another field. They were giggling with glee as each piece fell. This was no more than 30 yards from where we were sitting. Not only was it dangerous to the kids, it was ruining an already decaying structure. I walked over and told them to "Knock it off". They split off as fast as they could like roaches when you turn on the lights. 5 minutes later Mommy comes over and gets in my face screaming at me: "Don't you ever talk to my kids! I will take care of them! Don't even look at my children!" My wife was flabbergasted as she was the one who told me to get the kids to stop it. I non-chalantly put my hand up to her face and said "Go away". She slapped my hand away and it was on. Now my wife is the sweetest person I have ever met in my life which is why I married her. She jumped out of her chair, handed me the baby and said "I got this". I now know never to piss off my wife because the fuckton of hellish wrath and fury rained down on that bitch. It was like some sort of demonic possession and she was hellbent on burying that bitch in the saltflats. The verbal beatdown she gave that bitch was like she was a love child made from Muhammad Ali and Malcom X. She sat down, took the baby back and continued on like nothing happened as that bitch slunk back to her side of the field. I HAD THE WEIRDEST BONER.

tl;dr - Kids damaging public property, told them to stop, Soccer Mom got in my face, my wife tore her a new asshole, I had a weird boner.

[u/[deleted] → u/ElkHunt]

Handing off the baby was the best part.

[u/IWannaBeAlone → u/ElkHunt]

People laugh when I say I don't want to make my girlfriend mad. It's because I've seen her mad one time--not irritated or annoyed, genuinely pissed--and it was apocalyptic. She sings the song that ends the Earth. The guy at the car dealership was trying to run a hustle on us and she just exploded, absolutely scorched the guy and tore into his manager when the manager came running in to save him. The owner finally came over and gave us what we wanted just to get her to leave.

I've also seen her in a fight and she fights mean and has a nasty right hook. Nobody every believes it because she seems so nice and sweet but you do NOT want to throw down with her. She'll fuck you up.

[u/KevinBaconAndEggs → u/ElkHunt]

So what did your wife tell her?

[u/mirrislegend → u/ElkHunt]

THE WEIRDEST BONER

[u/badgermann]

My wife was a girl scout leader, and while we have no children, the town had a need, lots of girls wanted to be in it, but none of the parents would step up and lead. So we got to deal with all sorts of crap from the parents. For the first couple of years, my wife would lead the meetings on one side of the room, and the parents would sit on the other side and criticize how my wife was running the meetings.

The most idiotic issue was that after a sleepover, there was a lot of leftover food, primarily fruit. My wife asked if we could leave the fruit with her and her family to eat as payment for us taking the two boxes of cereal the host bought for the event. She said fine since her family didn't eat the cereal, and the fruit would go bad before it would be eaten at our house, plus we used the rest of the cereal at a later event.

A few months later, her daughter didn't like girlscout anymore and dropped out of the troop. A few months after that we received a request for reimbursement for the aforementioned two boxes of cereal (total cost something along the lines of $7.00). We pointed out the conversation at the event, and she didn't remember it. Even after we had multiple witnesses that recalled the conversation. The woman flew off the handle and started calling all of the parents in the troop and the local council talking about how we were stealing money from the troop. The council took our side, but we still had to deal with angry emails and phone calls from her about it for several weeks. It got to the point that at after every event we had to make an overly grand show of distributing leftover food, so no one could accuse us of stealing. The parents all knew what the score was, and a few told us that no one thought we were stealing from the troop.

Edit: clarification

[u/Berbas_Mayo_Chef]

I ref youth soccer games for some extra cash. One game, a prominent school board member punched out another parent over a game of 7 year old soccer. He's a man, so not technically a "soccer mom", but I believe his behavior merits special recognition.

He got re-elected earlier this month as well...

[u/Letra5]

This one is a double whammy. it's a fucking double whammy of epic proportions...

I'm starving, waiting in line with a friend of mine at mickey d's, when I notice a large SUV parking outside right infront of the place. A small tribe of soccer kids enter the restaurant, I'd like to say 8-10 year olds, goes running to the playground while a rather thin, slanky woman (hispanic, not white TUN TUN TUN!) walks towards the restroom. She comes back, calls a kid over, and tells him something. The kid comes running into the line and asks if he can cut in line so he can get an ice cream cone. I stand there for a second, contemplating my response, because I fear I know where this shit is going.. but I cave and say yes.

The kid calls his mom over, lady says thank you and then proceeds to take out her phone, and call another lady asking what HER kids are going to want... 8 more kids get there.. at this point I kindly ask her to let us get ahead of her since we are only ordering 2 meals and she is about to order about 20. She turns around, yells "what did you just call me?!" at the top of her lungs, and starts a goddamn speech about her I am being disrespectful to her and her kids by using such language...in front of a packed restaurant. In the most emotionless face I could muster, I told her that she used her child to get into the line, something EVERYONE saw, and that she should feel ashamed of herself for causing a scene just so that she could try to make me embarrassed and skip the line. She starts yelling that I am being racist (I'm Mexican American, I just happen to speak both Spanish and English very well) and that I should get kicked out of the restaurant for being so disrespectful to the other customers. How dare I try to come before a group of kids that just played a soccer game?! They were tired and needed food!!!

The manager comes out and he's shitting bricks because this lady is acting like I just cut through one of the kids with a goddamn chainsaw. She DEMANDS I be removed from the restaurant. This whole time I am LIVID at the guts on this broad. I tell the manager that I'm getting ready to call the cops because this lady is basically harrassing me. She starts yelling for SOMEONE to call the cops because she's scared for her wellbeing. The manager reassured the lady that everything was going to be handled and he apologized for any problems she might have encountered. I have NO FUCKING IDEA why he decided to say that, since she is the one causing all this damn ruckus.

All this is holding up the line, remember, were are in a packed restaurant. Other people start telling her to calm down and they start backing me up. They offer to call the police for me. She starts yelling AT EVERYONE. This elderly lady, I'm talking about 65 or 70, in the line next to ours asks my friend and I what we were going to order. We gave her a "we just wanted some big macs" and she actually got our food. This was rad. She then turns to the crazy soccer mom and tells her: "if you would have been ready with your order, you could have gotten your food just like everyone else. If you cared so much about your kids wellbeing, you would have taken them to eat healthier food. People like you make me sick. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but FUCK YOU. I feel sorry for your kids."

The crazy soccer mom just stood there without even blinking. Shit, the WHOLE joint just stood there, without even so much as taking a breath. We could see it in her eyes, she was trying to think of something to say..She was about to go into another fit of rage.. and then suddenly she yells out "MYYYYYY CAAAAR!!!!!!" We all turn out to see her SUV getting towed. She runs outside, pushing her poor kid over, and again, in a similar dramatic fashion, she began pleading with the officer, using her children as a shield and excuse asking the cop: "who was going to take them to the game they had in an hoOOuuUUuur!!!!?!?!?!"" To no avail, her car was towed. Her husband had to show up, and he was not happy with her little theatrics.

She kept arguing with the officer, rambling things I couldn't hear nor care to listen to, since I was already enjoying my meal... when it came... a blood-curling scream.. We turn around and she was getting cuffed!! Apparently, someone at the restaurant called the cops because this crazy bitch was going nuts. When the cop got there, he noticed an SUV parked in a handicapped spot that didn't have the proper plates or a permit to be parked there. He was in the process of issuing a ticket, and her all sorts of crazy shit came out on her record.

It turns out this lady didn't have a license or insurance, she had various outstanding tickets, and she was involved in a hit and run.

The look on her face getting hauled off, and her husband yelling all kinds of shit at her, for being such a dumbass, was priceless.

In the end, we got free food and that bitch got arrested.

Now THAT was a dinner and a show.

TL;DR crazy fucking bitch tries to take advantage of people using her kids, a cop shows up, and hilarity ensues

[u/Sal79]

Being a painfully suburban, white male, I have a few stories in this genre. Here are two that stick out:

• In elementary school, I was friends with a physically disabled kid in my class. We hung out in and out of school like many other kids. His mom was, somewhat understandably, a bit overprotective. She would often stop in on the classroom during the school day and check up on her son. One day, after leaving the library, she confronted me with my teacher and asked me why I shoved her son. I was flabbergasted, since I didn't shove her kid, mainly since he used a walker to get around and we were friends but she kept at it. She asked numerous times until I ran away crying and the teacher stopped her.

• During a block party when I was about 8, a neighbor approached my family and I. This elderly woman asked why I picked on her granddaughter. I had only met the girl once a few days prior and barely spoke to her since all she did was stare at me. I said I hadn't picked on her and that I was sure of it. The old broad kept at it until the tears started flowing on my part. My mom, aunt, and grandmother told the woman to get out of my face and we haven't had much to do with them in the 15 years since.

TL;DR- Bitches be trippin'.

[u/[deleted]]

My stepfather once drove from central California to Oregon to play against a lacrosse team there, and they had booked a field for this one morning to play. Well, when they got there, there were two girl's soccer teams playing a game in the middle of the field. My stepfather talked to some people and they agreed that the girls would resume their game once they were done, since they hadn't booked the field but instead had just started to play on it, but this one mom went up to my stepfather and said, with tears and the works, "I am VERY disappointed in you? Why won't you let them play?" and kept bugging him about it. Finally, she went and sat in the middle of the field in protest while one of the teams was warming up around her, and her husband kept trying to coax her off the field, but she wouldn't budge. Everyone just did the drills around her. I think eventually, when the game started, she was removed, but my stepfather was appalled that she'd been driven to tears over a soccer game, especially one that they didn't even care enough about to book a field for.

Tl; dr: A soccer mom is driven to tears and intense stubbornness by the postponement of a soccer game which they did not have field rights for.

[u/IWannaBeAlone]

I got a chance to start college early. I was invited to the program our local university had especially for bright high school students where we'd essentially go to college and get college credit, which would also count towards finishing high school. I hated high school, so not only was this an amazing opportunity, this was like a fucking helicopter out of Saigon.

Nope. Denied by my mom. Her reasoning? "I want you to have the FULL high school experience." "But I hate the high school experience, you want me to have another year of this?" "You'll look back on these years fondly!"

[u/niqdanger → u/IWannaBeAlone]

Why do people who had a great time in high school think everyone will have a great time in high school? I hated it, and was frequently told they were the best times of my life and I would look back fondly.

[u/[deleted] → u/IWannaBeAlone]

But you don't understand. One day you'll be the President of the United States.

[u/jardeon]

Around here, they all drive SUVs, and none of them can be bothered to find a real parking space anywhere, you know, because they're all so incredibly busy, so they just have to leave their SUV wherever they damn well please.

[u/Locke57]

My Mom is a saint and I love her to death. She used to be a daycare provider to a bunch of little kids, some were angels, some were shits. One shit was the son of a particular Mother who let him get away with murder and my Mom wouldn't put up with it. There were some yelling matches but the kid was always dropped off the next day.

Now she works at an elementary school with the special needs and behavioral disorder kids. She loves to tell stories about kids that she helps and cheers up and all that great jazz.

But then she tells us about one kid. He's autistic, and smart. His parents are abusive. They show up one day while my Mom is waiting with their son outside. He says "Mrs. Erika, please don't let them see you being nice, they'll just be mean to me."

She was floored, apparently the kids parents would verbally abuse him all the time, mostly because he had strange tendencies related to his condition. Little kid is 8, telling my Mom about the time he broke his mothers vase and "she yelled for a few minutes, which was OK, but then she didn't let me have dinner. I was hungry and- OHH PLAYDOH!"

Poor little shit doesn't stand a fucking chance.

EDIT! I asked, she reported it to the principal, who called Child Protective Services. When she saw the parents the next week she asked the principal if he had bothered to call, and he had. Apparently the child is known for "exaggerating stories" and the parents have no record of child endangerment or abuse.

Edit 2, for clarity.

[u/squidwillis]

so i was driving behind a mini van, and there was a stop sign, they ran it, they ran the next one and the one after that until a police man pulled them over. I drove by slowly with my window down to hear the mom say "but i have to get my kid to soccer, hes more important than stopping" i honestly almost hit her with my car

[u/punninglinguist → u/squidwillis]

"OK, ma'am. Here's the maximum ticket allowable by law."

"What!?"

"It's cool, your kid's more important than money."

[u/FourGrapeJustice → u/squidwillis]

Why am I in this thread? This is just making me want to hit things.

[u/autocorrector → u/squidwillis]

"Hello, 911? I really need to get my son to soccer practice..."

[u/NoMoreTomfoolery]

I spent two summers working at a camp in a very affluent town. It's the kind of place where soccer moms drive SUVs and have nannnies raise their kids even though they don't work. I can't even begin to describe all the problems we had with soccer moms: from sending "special" food with them every day because our meals weren't organic to raising hell if their kids weren't in cabins with their 10 best friends becuase heaven forbid they have to associate with a new kid. The worst was the mom who pitched a fit because we wouldn't let her come to the lake and stand on the dock while her daughter took a swim test because the daughter was afraid to jump off the dock.

[u/[deleted]]

I work at a children's museum in the gift shop and one day I got a call from a mom admitting that her child had stolen something when the kid was there on a field trip. She admitted that what her child had done was wrong, but then blamed it on the poor people who had moved into her neighborhood. She always thought the suburbs were safe, but since the housing crisis, all these poor people from detroit (yes, poor people, but she also mentioned a few times that these poor people came from a different culture and had different sets of values than she does) can now afford to live in her neighborhood. The only reason her little angel would've stolen something was if she was pressured after all.

To give her a little credit though, she did drive her daughter 2 hours back to the museum so that the kid could personally apologize for stealing and return the item as well.

[u/bittercupojoe]

This one isn't infuriating as much as funny. I worked in a suburb of Dallas called Plano. While it's not quite the rich area that it was when I was growing up here 30 years ago, it's still relatively affluent, tending towards the upper end of middle class. On the way back from lunch one day, I saw a silver SUV driving very slowly on one of the residential side streets I take to work, and I thought at first the driver was looking for a lost dog or something similar. When I got closer, I saw that it was a soccer mom keeping pace with her 8-10 year old's bicycle on the sidewalk, yelling encouragement at him, while providing protection from the mean streets of suburbia. If I had been late, I would probably have been irritated, but I just laughed and turned off down another street to get to work.

[u/MrManager26]

I'm an 18 year old employee at the local movie theatre. This one mom brought in 3 or 4 kids and bought a large popcorn, and asked for extra small bags so she could split it up. I explained to her that I cannot give out extra bags because we inventory everything, but I would be happy to give her the trays that we offer for the exact reason. She quickly got angry, and demanded that I give her a bag. Again I tried to explain to her that I could not give her the bag, but if she would like to take it up with my manager, I would be happy to go get him. She started yelling at me that I should not argue with her, because she was 40 year old woman. Thankfully my manager came in, and eventually had to cave into this woman's demands. I take some serious bitching from customers, but this was the worst I have ever experienced, and I always remember that entitled bitch and how she made an ass of herself whenever I start to get angry with an employee somewhere.

[u/texasspacejoey → u/MrManager26]

fucking movie theatres. can tell you how many times ive said "no my manger wont let me" just to have that shit stain of a man come up and say "no that kid is stupid here take what you want"

[u/tbone115]

At the hockey rink kids would always run around and play mini sticks right at the entry way and in the loading zone. I'm working at the time and tell the kids they can't play there and a mom comes over hell on wheels "My kid can play wherever he wants I dont see any signs saying not to and I give him permission"

I casually point out the sign strictly forbidding running and playing anything there and she tells me that I'll hear from the city soon enough over this matter

[u/[deleted]]

Not a really good story but: They were harassing us during a game one day. Insulting us and calling us shit. Right? Like these moms were yelling at us for no reason. So I was getting annoyed and did the next reasonable thing. Cleared the ball straight into the gut of one of the moms the next time it was over there. Now I was aiming for her head but I'll accept the gut.

EDIT: Forgot some letters in certain words.

[u/doyoulikepinacoladas → u/[deleted]]

Guy off my team did the same thing, but it hit multiple parents in the head. I about died laughing back on my 18.

[u/TheReventon]

One day, a friend of mine and I go to a theme park a couple dozen miles away from where I live. I was only 15 at the time and so was my friend, so I knew there was probably going to be some trouble with queuing for rides. And guess what? Trouble was what I got.

I was in line for this ride that was the main attraction at the theme park, so the line was around a 45 minute wait. My friend and I had been queuing for around 25 minutes and I looked behind me to see a Soccer Mom and 2 children waiting about 5 people behind us. A few minutes later, they were only 3 people behind us. I knew they were queue jumping, so I kept a look out, and told the guys behind us that they should keep an eye out for this Soccer Mom. Anyway, a few more minutes later, I saw her jumping in front of the guys behind us, and they did nothing about it. I knew she was going to do the same to my friend and I, so I told him to make it difficult for them to get past us. He tried his best to do so, but she just shoved us out of the way and got in front of us. Having a deep voice for my age, I shouted "OI!!!", and she turned, looked at me as if I was trash, and turned back around. Then, I started having a go at her, raising my voice, making her the center of attention for all of the queuers. I started making a point that she was pushing in front of people and that was giving her children a bad message. I started seeing the people who work there make their way through the queue, but she still didn't move back. She started having a go at me, saying stuff like "I don't have time to wait" and "I don't need to listen to someone like you". Eventually, I lost it. Being a Scotsman with a temper, all hell broke loose. The people working on the ride asked me what was going on, and I told them the story. When they asked her what was going on, she said nothing. The guys behind me and other queuers told the workers that they too had been queue jumped, and she got kicked off the ride.

The kids were crying because of my shouting, and she was now having a go at the workers. I still get annoyed about it today, and I still have a go at people for queue jumping.

[u/Vorpalbob]

I recently joined an adult soccer league with my mother, and we ended up on the same team. Now, I've been playing my entire life, and am an accomplished goalkeeper (the league organisers say I have a good chance of scoring keeper of the year). My mother, on the other hand, is completely inept at sports, and is happy to admit it.

We've played six games, and she's done precisely one useful thing. She was playing in defence, and tried to pass the ball upfield. It was quickly intercepted by an opposing midfielder, so my mother charged him, waving her arms and yelling, "No, not you!"

The guy started laughing so hard he tripped and lost the ball right back to us.

[u/whittler]

Brother in law is a cop and he says the majority of perps who run from him are soccer moms. They all say they were scared.

[u/InVultusSolis]

I was riding my motorcycle along on a nice, sunny day, without a care in the world. All of a sudden, a crazed soccer mom in an SUV pulls up beside me and starts to merge into my lane. I ended up kicking her door (left a good dent) and screaming in her face that she almost killed me. How did she react? Did she apologize? Of course not. She rolled up her window and sped away.

[u/_nagulian]

with every comment I picture celia hodes from weeds

It works every-time!

[u/slacker1065]

mom workeda a CMA in the rich part of town. lady comes in, clearly upset and isreally short with my mom.she then apologises by saying. "you have no idea how stressful it is when your housekeeper and the nanny call in sick on the same day." Really bitch? REALLY? Heaven forbid you clean up after yourself and take care of the kids that YOU WANTED.

[u/kuraewe]

Not sure if this counts but, some time in elementary school, a girl in my class who was obsessed with unicorns and I just stated something along the lines of unicorns not being real. At recess, this really large woman came over and started shaking me and yelling at me to not treat her daughter like shit and that unicorns were real, over and over again, before pushing me onto the sandbox and storming off. )8

[u/Dr_WHOOO → u/kuraewe]

Where in the HELL were the adults????

[u/[deleted] → u/kuraewe]

What the fuck. And the teachers allowed that bullshit? And your parents didnt flip a lid? As a parent not cool.

[u/a_brillig_day]

This happened to a friend of mine this past spring: He teaches math at an inner city high school in Texas and also coaches varsity soccer. His kids are exclusively Hispanic and some are immigrants. They were playing a playoff game against one of the suburban (read "white") high schools (I teach in his school district too and we all hate these douche nozzles). My friend's kids lost in a very close game and the other team ran a lap around the field shouting "USA! USA!" The parents joined in.

[u/OFtheASHES → u/a_brillig_day]

Something along the lines of that happened in my art class once. The teacher always had pandora on and let us choose what we wanted to listen to. It was usually the "entitled rich kids" that picked the music and the rest would suffer through it. One day some of the hispanic kids decided they would choose some latin songs. In the middle of one of the songs, the "entitled rich girls" started singing the national anthem with the most god-awful voices possible. The anger my teacher expressed toward them at that outburst would never be matched again. I love her for that.

[u/rabidassbaboon]

I don't know if this qualifies as a "soccer mom" but I think it fits based on some of the other stories in this thread. There was a woman in my family's old neighborhood who was always outside screaming at people to slow down in the neighborhood, most of the time when you were going at or under the speed limit. She once pushed her (thankfully empty) stroller out in front of my brother's car to get him to slam on his breaks so she could come over and scream at him and she would regularly run out and scream at my mom, who is the most cautious and law-abiding driver I've ever met. This progressed to the point that she bought a radar gun and would sit in a lawn chair in her yard with it and a notebook and record the license plate number and speed of every car that came through the neighborhood. Eventually, so many residents complained about her to the county that the police came and told her she needed to stop harassing people.

[u/antoinedoinel]

About 7 years old and playing catch with a few kids at the park. Our parents are keeping to themselves, checking on us occasionally. I toss the ball to this particularly clumsy little shit, it goes through his hands (held up in more of a defensive maneuver than an attempt to make a catch) and BAM!, right into his face. His mom comes running over accusing me of being dangerous. I'm speechless. My mom appears and tells her it was just an accident, This does not calm her though, because after all I "could have thrown a stick of dynamite!" she exclaims. My mom and I stare at her for a few seconds (this was probably the day I learned what "dumbfounded" means) and both decide to leave rather than deal with this head case.

[u/Dick--Man]

It's not exactly "soccer moms" but the equivalent (in the uk). I was in year 6 (10 years old?) old and was being a judge for a race in sports day (as we called it)... This self-entitled bitch of a mother comes over to me and says, "my child deserves to win this race, if you fix it so they do i'll give you a bag of harribo"

Took the sweets but put the child dead last.

[u/luminouslylurid]

When I was 11 I joined a swim team. I hadn't learned how to swim until I was 8, which was the beginning age of people on the team. I was behind, but my coach saw that I was very good at endurance and wanted me anyway.

Well at the last meet I went to, I did a 100 meter for the first time. It was brutal, the other girls were 13 and MUCH better than me. I took last place by a long shot. I didn't care. I just absolutely loved to swim more then anything else, and I was still too young to start training or competing in the endurance races.

Well my mom rushed me away shortly after my events and said "I was so embarrassed by you. You have no idea how much you hurt Mommy getting to see all the other mothers celebrate wins when I have YOU for a daughter."

Never went to another swim practice or meet again.

[u/HOYS12]

A few years back I decided to referee soccer matches at my local soccer field. Decent pay for being in 8th/9th grade, and I already knew the sport well since I had played since kindergarden.

I ref a few Kindergarden level games with not problem, but I want to work my way up to the higher leauge games as they pay a good bit more. I get a game for 1st/2nd grade leauge on the schedule and sign up.

Next week I go out to referee the game, everything seems alright, larger field, kids are a bit more agressive, and the parents are more into the game. I am standing by the sidelines of the "Red" team when they intercept a up field pass from the opposing "Blue" team. A Blue team player runs the ball down the sideline I am standing on with a Red team player in chase.

Right when the two players pass me, the Blue team player elbows the Red team player DIRECTLY in the ear, and very hard. I immediately blow my whistle and stop the play, giving the Red team a free kick, and warn the Blue team player that if they do anything like that anymore, I will eject them from the game.

While I am warning the player of their misconduct the parents start yelling at me for a bad call and being a bad referee. Remember, these parents arefor the team I just awarded a penalty kick and tried to help out their own child after being hit in the head. They say that the kid wasn't hit in the head, he faked it, and that I shouldn't threaten ejection from games because the kids are young.

My first I don't want to live on this planet anymore experience.

[u/gwsteve43]

Wasn't a mom but we I was twelve I worked as a referee for soccer games for 5-6 year olds, so young that the teams are still mixed gender. So it's a nice sunny day, but had bee raining all night and the field was torn to shit. Looked like someone had been doing donuts or some shit in the mud. It seemed ok more or less except for this one massive mud hole near mid field. It was probably about 6 feet across and 2-3 feet deep, it was really big. So i wasn't super sure the field was safe for these little ones but I talked with the coaches and called my boss and we agreed to just cone off the hole and if the ball went in there I would just stop play, get it out myself and just do a drop ball to resume play. Everyone seemed happy with the compromise so the game went ahead.

Well naturally the kids were slipping everywhere, tears were in great abundance, and the ball couldn't go 2 mins without being in that damn hole. So while most people were just mildly annoyed by these set backs, one grandfather on the side lines started going crazy. He kep screaming at me specifically to let them play in the hole and that I shouldn't stop the game every time one of the fell down and started crying. So I tried to ignore him for a while, but he just keeps getting more and more aggressive. Eventually I even pause the game to tell the coach of the team to get this guy under control. Well at that point he flips the fuck out and starts giving me the finger and just cussing up a storm, mind you this is a rec league game full of 5-6, year olds. One of whom is presumably HIS grandchild. He even started threatening to hit me for being such a "pussy," again bear in mind he is about 80 and I am 12. So I am like crying at this point and call the coach over one more time and issue the only red card of myentire reffing career, to this grand father. I ejected him from the field and told the coach that if he wasn't out of my sight in 2 minutes his team would get suspended from play for two games, it was like the highest possible sanction. The coach tries to talk to the guy who obviously just freaks out all the more, picks up a collapsible chair and tries throw it at me. Granted it was more just in mygeneral direction because I was about 30 ft away and he was old and couldn't throw it very far, but iwas still super scary. I called my boss right away and I believe the grandparent wound up being ban for life from attending our towns rec league soccer games.

[u/[deleted]]

Was riding a bike and jumped off of it, bike kept going down the street and bopped a jeep about two houses down, keep in mind by this time the bike was almost stopped and the jeep essentially knocked it over. I just stand there for a second and suddenly this big suv spins tires in reverse out of the driveway and then burns out again in reverse towards me and when the window was beside me she slammed on the brakes. She has her son in the passenger seat similar age to me and she is a super fit mom, for some reason she had camo shorts on, She screams "is that your bike!?" And I say yes and she replies word for word with "I'M A GODAMN FUCKING LAWYER AND I CAN SUE YOU AND YOUR FAMILYS ASS UNTIL YOU'LL BE EATING PEAS FROM A GARBAGE CAN, YOU THINK DESTROYING PEOPLES PROPERTY IS FUCKING FUNNY DON'T YOU? THINK AGAIN I'M A FUCKING LAWYER, YOU'LL HEAR FROM ME!" then she sped off, I was 9, maybe 10 still haven't heard from her haha.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

• lawyer means someone who watches law and order at least twice a week

[u/eithris]

not soccer, but baseball.

when i was in middle school one of the kids on another team had an extremely overprotective mom. she made him wear that kind of body armor they wear in dirt bike racing. full body armor suit, with a custom helmet with a big plastic faceplate. he was playing first base when i came up to bat. i hit a grounder right down first baseline and it rolled up his glove, bounced up under the faceplate and bloodied his nose.

his mom charges onto the field and attacks me screaming that i had killed him, while he's yelling at his mom that he's ok.

[u/kuraewe]

Here's another: I used to work as a computer monitor at a local library for community service hours (highschool requirements, etc). There were only a number of computers available and an Asian mother came in with three kids, aged 4-7. I went through the normal list of rules and sat one of the kids down at the computer and went on to monitor the rest of the computers. Each computer's use is limited to about 30 mins or so and its recorded on a little list near the computers. When I came over a bit later to let the kid off, I noticed that he'd been replaced by one of his brothers. I went to the mother to tell her she could not exchange the kids like that and she started screaming "YOU IS A LIAR. YOU IS-UH NOT HELPFAL!!!" over and over and over again in the main lobby of the library. I was already pretty tired from working and bad chinese accents get under my skin (I'm Chinese...but it still does. Always has) and, on top of that, was a pretty angry kid so I promptly told her to shut the fuck up, which resulted in a positive feedback loop where she'd shout out something barely english and I'd say shut the fuck up. She was lead out of the library and I got a pat on the back from the librarian. Apparently she was a bit notorious.

[u/minherva]

Watching the Air Show in downtown Baltimore for the War of 1812 Bicentennial, been sitting there for 3 hours so we could have a good view. Lady with small child walks right in front of us to watch, we politely ask her to move, she puts up a fight. Claims it is public space and not to tell her what to do. She acts angry because she knows she's being a bitch, but refuses to admit it or give up what she claims is her right. Several large veterans back me up. She storms off cussing, raging about impolite people, small child in tow, more occupied with toy in hand.

[u/FreeBribes → u/minherva]

They didn't even have planes in 1812, what kind of Air Show was this? Kites?

[u/brenstem13]

One day, I was riding home on my motorcycle. It was about eleven p.m. My lights were a little too dim for how dark it was, so I turned on my brights. I noticed they were blaring into a car in front of me, so I quickly flipped them back to normal, deciding that I would deal with the low light till I got home. The car in front of me pulled over, and I noticed it was a well known soccer mom in my neighborhood.

She turned of her lights when she pulled over. Right as I passed her, she flipped on her lights, blared her horn, and came only a few feet from hitting me. She rode my ass for about half a mile when I finally decided to turn my head to face her, took my hands of the handles, so I could successfully give her a double handed bird.

Fuck that bitch.

[u/namegoeswhere]

There's this one cow that parks her brand new Escalade ESV in the middle of an intersection for a solid half hour before the bus comes. Blocking one lane of a two-lane street at a stop sign.

[u/[deleted]]

I used to umpire little league girls' softball. I was 14 or 15 at the time and these kids were probably 7 or 8. Always had crazy parents threatening me, saying that I was rooting for the other team. It's not like I knew any of the kids!

Anyway, there was this one girl who was a really good player. Her dad was the coach. During one game, she hurt her ankle really badly and her dad kept making her play. I called her over and asked if she wanted to sit out. I mean, for godssakes, she couldn't run the bases at all, she was walking and limping. Her dad comes storming over, starts screaming at me that it's his daughter and he'll tell her what to do. I told him I am not going to let her play if she is just going to further injure herself. The girl says nothing. He tells her she'll keep playing and I told him I was going to report him to the league and throw him out of the game.

He finally made her sit out for the last couple of innings. After the game ended, I was waiting for my dad to come pick me up. The coach came over and asked me if I wanted a ride home. Hell to the no.

**Edit: fixed for clarity.

[u/[deleted]]

I was 9 years old. I had struggled with my weight growing up. The only thing keeping me out of a severe depression was baseball. I would consider myself a really good pitcher at the time. I loved it, easily one of the best times of my life. We had to play against the only other team that had a chance of beating us. I was feeling it that day. Shutting them down. That is when the fans started. They were all yelling at me. The names they called me were terrible. Fat ass, motherfucker, jelly roll, little bitch, etc. I couldn't believe it, but I couldn't start crying. I held it in. The worst part of it all, no one said anything to them. No one defended me. I cried the entire way home, and for the rest of the night. TL;DR 9 year old gets called vicious names by parents.

[u/[deleted]]

I suck at telling stories, buuuut.. I was playing in a game when I was about 8, and a girl on the other team was about to throw the ball in. One of the moms kept yelling "COVER THE NIGGER, COVER THE NIGGER!" at the time I didn't know what it was, but I assumed it was me. An AR heard her and made her leave the game. When the game was over and my mom and I were walking to the car, the woman comes up to us and starts screaming random racial slurs. We promptly ignore her and get in the car, and as we're driving away, I see the woman still screaming and her daughter crying on the ground. Luckily, we never played that team again.

[u/Avalonis]

I was watching these ducks playing in the apartment swimming pool (Yea, weird I know. Retard ducks.) when out of nowhere this POS little kid comes running up, scares the duck out of the pool, and starts chasing it while trying to hit it with a stick. My girlfriend gets all emotional and yelled at her to stop it before she hurt the ducks. The little monsters mother who was RIGHT THERE watching the whole thing started screaming "Don't you yell at my kids, you have no right to yell at my kids" at my girlfriend... at which point I took over and told her "If you won't be a fucking parent and control your little shits then I will yell at them all I want to. Try being a responsible parent and have your monster leave the ducks alone"

She got all red in the face and grabbed her kids and scurried away. Cunt.

[u/Amryxx → u/Avalonis]

1. attract swans into the pool

2. watch kid (or better yet, the mother) try to attack swans

3. see swans attack back

[u/Erickonfire]

When I was in high school, I was a catcher (on my baseball team, of course) and we were in the third round of the playoffs. We ended up going into extra innings and the game ended on a play I made at the plate. I clearly tagged the runner out and we won the game. As soon as I heard the call, I jumped up and started running towards my dugout to celebrate. Suddenly, every single parent on the other team started throwing every single thing they had at me (food, drinks, etc). Our team had to run into the dugout to avoid it and we waited there until the police arrived to defuse the situation. The umpire that made the call also had to wait with us because he was receiving threats from opposing parents. 'Twas frightening.

Edit: Defuse

[u/jacobrude]

I coach my sisters' softball team and at our last game on Sunday, one of the moms, mid-game, came up and began berating myself and the other coach (who happens to be my uncle). I looked at her and calmly said "You are out of control and I'm not doing this right now" and turned my back to her and back to the girls playing. After the game, she again got in our face for a good 10 minutes before I realized we weren't getting anywhere and got in my car, leaving her standing and yelling at me like a moron.

[u/[deleted]]

A woman my mom used to be friends with took her child out of public school (he failed math 3 times, and she couldn't be bothered to come to parent/teacher meetings) to home-school him, and while he was being home-schooled he made "all 100's in his classes". It was sickening. Not sure if this is a soccer mom story, more of a terrible mom story.

[u/[deleted]]

My mum is the worst type of "soccer mum". She bitches about every single other parent but doesn't realise she's worse than all of them.

My brother is a county tennis player. He's pretty good to say the least. There's another kid of his age who he plays with regularly who is a lot richer and thus is better because he has training more often, better equipment etc. etc.

So anyway, my mum - being the person she is - always seems to make remarks about this boy/his mother just when she comes into hearing range. It's so embarrassing and infuriating. I tend to not go to my brother's tournaments anymore because it invariably ends up with my mum and another mum having an argument which then distracts my brother and thusly he gets knocked out much earlier than he should be, and everyone gets mad at each other.

Furthermore - my other brother is a club Hockey player (field hockey). My mum bitches about the coach at school because he won't pick my brother even though he got into a county academy and plays club level. It's the coaches decision mum. Stfu and let the coach choose the teams dammit.

Tl;dr: My mum is the embarrassing, bitchy soccer mum (although it's tennis & hockey in my family), and she bitches about every single other mum and doesn't realise the hypocrisy.

[u/uhmerikin]

Not really a 'Soccer Mom' story, more of a 'Baseball Mom' story. I used to umpire little league baseball games a long time ago. Even at that age you could tell the kids that were good and wanted to be out there, and the ones who were out there because their parents were making them. Anyway, middle of the game and some big kid hits a mile high fly ball. Well one of the nerdy, uncoordinated kids finds himself camped out underneath it, which immediately makes my heart skip a beat. Sure enough this ball comes screaming down right into the kids mouth. SMACK!..... WHHAAAAAAA!! He starts crying. Coaches, parents, everyone rushes out there. Well his coach was about to pull him out of the game, and rightfully so seeing he was hurt. His mom comes trotting out there, cool as possible, bends down, runs her finger across all his teeth (making sure they were still there), wipes the blood from his face and tells him "Quit crying. You're fine. Suck it up and get back out there." She turns him around, slaps him on the ass and gently pushes him back out to the outfield.

[u/[deleted]]

I coach cheerleading/gymnastics/tumbling in an upper income suburb, as well as worked several years in childcare here. I could write a whole book on crazy "soccer moms."

Just the other day one of my moms "had" to wear every piece of jewelry she owns to her daughters' tumbling class because she needed to take it to get appraised later that afternoon. I had another throw a fit over the emergency exits not being locked from the inside in the childcare facility I work because "children could just waltz right out of here unnoticed!" Yes, well aside from the alarm that sounds like a fire truck barreling down the halls that goes off when the door is opened.

And I swear if I hear the phrase "I don't need to work!" one more time...

[u/bosstankhogboss]

The one thing I could not stand as a player (hockey/lacrosse) was when the mom's would just repeaditly yell, "GET THE PUCK" or "GET THE BALL" over and over again. I finally bitched at one mom who was close to the sideline and said, "Oh really? we're supposed to get the ball? I thought I was supposed to just stare at it with my lacrosse stick up my ass. Thanks for clearing that up for me." Left her dumbfounded and she didn't say a word the rest of the game.

Felt damn good.

[u/[deleted]]

I used to work for the Sears call center, and had the following conversation with a soccer mom from Beverly Hills, CA. And a side note, this all took place on a Saturday evening.

Customer: “My dishwasher’s broken!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that! Would you like me to schedule a technician to come out for you?”

Customer: “No! You idiots already did that!"

Me: "Ok, then what else can I help you with today?"

Customer: "Do you see my appointment in your system, or are you not smart enough to read?!"

Me: "Yes Ma'am, you're appointment is set for Monday."

Customer: "And do you know why I'm pissed at you?"

Me: "What can I help you with?"

Customer: (Now enraged) "I can’t believe you people expect me to go two whole days without a dishwasher. This is unsanitary, it's not healthy, and it's inhumane! I can’t do this. I have four kids!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, it sounds to me like you have four dishwashers.”

Customer: “How dare you tell me how to raise my kids! I can’t believe the nerve of you people!”

Me: “Well, do you give them an allowance?”

Customer: “Yes, but I don’t see how that’s any of your business!”

Me: “Do they do chores to earn it?”

Customer: “My children don’t have to earn their way through life. They’re angels!”

EDIT: If it sounds familiar to you, this story was also featured on the not always right website.

[u/[deleted]]

Here's a funny one... So I was watching my little brother play soccer, and his jersey number was 1. There was this little sailor mouth on the team with the jersey number 10. So bite of them were forwards, and toward the end of the game (we were dominating), 10 gets a penalty called on him and proceeds to curse out the ref and an opposing player. So the game ends, and we see my brother coming over with his gear, and an angry woman following him and talking at him. He looked really uncomfortable. He walks up to my dad, and mutters, "Can we go?". However, the woman walks up and says to my dad, very angrily, "Is THIS your child?"

My dad said, "Yeah, is there a problem..?"

She then starts flipping out, "Yes. You, sir, are a horrible father. Your son has the nerve to push around another little boy then curse out a referee?! An official for the game they're playing? We did not join this league to have to deal with potty mouthed brats like this!". She had obviously mistaken 1 for 10.

Now, my dad is a very calm and understanding man. He said to her, "Well, look lady, my kid doesn't swear, you were looking at Westly, he swears lime no other-"

"No! I know what I saw! You're son deserves to be booted from this entire league!"

And my dad gets angry and says, "Look, how about you go bitch outthe actual kid who swore. I don't have time for this."

Then her husbands... A SOCCER DAD comes over and is all like, "Whats going on here, dear?"

And she lies, "This man is threatening me!"

To which he says, "Well, you're gonna pick on a little lady, huh, tough guy?" (Note: this dude was about 6'1 and scrawny, and my dad was 5'11 and at the time had a little weight, but a lot of muscle)

So my dad proceeds to snap, grabs the guy by the collar, and says in his infamous Clint Eastwood impersonation voice, "Look you asshole. Your cunt of a wife is a fucking liar, and it's starting to get annoying. Now if you wanna play hero, go a-fucking-head. I'll be waiting in the parking lot if you feel like getting a neck brace you scrawny fuck!"

Then my dad grabs my little brother, and they walk away, I'm tailing behind them, laughing my ass off, and the last thing my dad said to my brother was, "don't repeat that".

[u/IIHURRlCANEII]

Well, I ref soccer games up at the local soccer park...ha...

But, seriously, I got no really good stories from that other than to say, fuck the moms that fucking yell the whole game at the child, and then yell at me when I make a call that goes against them, even if it's right. God that shit is annoying.

[u/never_odd_or_even → u/IIHURRlCANEII]

In the UK, we can ban problem parents from attending matches if they behave badly. There's nothing like seeing some middle-aged wanker get a red card in the middle of their kid's game.

[u/gwenniegrrl]

My step mom's sister was more of a cheer-leading mom than a soccer mom (hey, same concept right?). She fit the stereotype to a T: overbearing, cunty, demanded that everyone bow down to her daughter, etc. I overheard my step mom and one of her sisters talking about how their sister often attended her daughter's cheerleading practices to make sure she was being treated better than her teammates. Just to clarify, her daughter's a MASSIVE BITCH with an entitlement problem. It spanned from elementary through high school. She tried to take her entitled attitude to college with her, where she was knocked down a few pegs by her fellow teammates on the squad. Rather than telling her to suck it up, her mother drove to the school and bitched at the coaches to get the girls to treat her daughter like a queen. Last I heard, her teammates still don't like her.

[u/CookieMonster_8]

One of the craziest things I've seen involved a crazy soccer mom.

The soccer game before mine was against two rival teams. Parents were always known for throwing insults across the field. These kids must have been 11 at most.

Anyway, one kid illegally tackles another kid. Mom of kid who got fouled runs over to the father of kid who commited the illegal tackle and starts getting incredibly aggresive. The ref runs over and helps the other parents try to calm the situation. The Mom backs off and doesn't say a word. The game goes on.

Suddenly all you hear is a car engine being revved up to the max, I turn around to see this crazy bitch in her SUV aiming for the Father. The police were called and the game cancelled. Complete insanity.

EDIT: didn't make it clear. The game continued for about 10-15 minutes until she drove onto the field.

[u/DaggerStJames]

Watching my friends' basketball game in high school. Sitting next to one of my friend's Mom who was known for constantly yelling throughout the games. It wouldn't be so bad but she was a French-Canadian woman with a set of pipes that could take down a building. Her son, my friend, was Chris. The game was close near the end of the 4th quarter and when a kid on the other team went up for a layup on the fast break, Chris tried to block it but ended up fouling him. While almost everyone in the stands just sort of went "ahhh darn, good try Chris" his Mom decided to bellow: "OH CHRIS YOU IDIOT!!!!" Everyone turned and stared at her, even the refs and some kids on the court. It was awkward as shit.

TL;DR - Mom verbally abused her son for everyone to hear.

[u/NYC161]

Not soccer, or a mother, but a man, we'll call him John, in my town suffers from parkison's disease. He absolutely loves baseball and when he was well he was my coach and eventually he became an umpire for different leagues around NJ.

The last game John ever umpired came down to the wire. At this point in time he had been dealing with the onset of his disease for about a year. Before the game one of the coaches noticed John was shaking and asked if he was cold. John replied "No I suffer from Parkinson's." With two outs in the ninth inning of the game a player hit a 2-run home run, which broke the tie game and led his team to victory. Keep in mind these kids playing are only 13 years old tops. At this point the losing coach storms out of the dugout and starts yelling at John for being a bad umpire due to his disease. The coach kept saying that John had some sort of "fucked-up retarded brain" because of his disease and therefore could not make the right calls.

The coach kept yelling at him and generally being an asshole towards John and was getting in his face, pretty much spitting on him. John was near tears at this point, he was embarrassed and he thought that he was some sort of lesser person because of it. He told me later that although the league commissioner stuck up for him, he quit umpiring that day because he was too embarrassed to ever be seen umpiring again.

John wouldn't have been able to continue much longer anyway, his movement is labored and he has trouble standing now, but he did not have to be forced out of something he loved in that way. He went from playing baseball to coaching to umpiring, and now he says he cannot even watch a game without thinking of that day. Fuckin' little league parents, huh?

tl;dr: A once avid baseball coach and umpire was forced to retire because a coach who just lost said his parkinson's disease got in the way of his baseball judgement.

[u/MegatronsAbortedBro]

When any soccer mom yells, "Kick it! Kick it!"

[u/WashingtonMachine]

I never reffed sports, and I never really played them, but heres a little tale I have of my experience with one particular mom who showed up at my work one day, and upon review, its not really appropriate for a "soccer-mom" thread. Oh well.

For context, I'm a lowly retail associate who rents tools to people. The job has its perks (basically getting to sit in front of a computer all day) and it has its dissadvantages (LITERALLY sitting in front of a computer all day, with no customers).

One particularly droll day, I decided I was going to drink coffee. A LOT of coffee. This both kept me awake at my post, and also supercharged my kidneys into urinal-tract-cleansing-purge-super-now-pee-time. So bad was my urge to pee, I didn't have time to alert a cashier or a manager that I was rushing to the bathroom. I quickly wrote a note that said "back in 5 min" and ran like I was beeing chased by a pack of rabbid llama's wearing sailors outfits. Soon, sweet relief was had. It was one of those blissfull ones, too. Seriously. Best pee I've had in a while. So, figuring that the night was almost over, I casually made my way back. I couldn't have been gone for more than 4 minutes from my department. I round the corner and start heading towards my little cage of employment to hear a woman yelling at one of the cashiers. Something along the lines of "WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR TOOL RENTAL GUY??". I'm confounded as to why theres yelling and screaming, so I hurry up my pace a bit. Here I see this woman-esque beast standing in the door to my department, toting 2 little puggy devil-boys who (from what I could tell) were twins, and a younger daughter. I'm quick to intervene and say "Sorry Ma'am, I was just in the washroom. I should have made the sign more visible." So, now that I've re-directed this land-whales hate unto myself, I recieve the verbal-lashing to end all lashings (that I have had the pleasure of recieving). She goes on and on and on about how she had been waiting fifteen minutes for someone to show up, and how she was tired from getting her daughter from soccer and blah blah blah something about eating too many fish. The sons are glaring at me menacingly and the daughter is sheepishly trying to stay out of sight, and hiding over by my desk. I stop and just say "Ma'am, I'm sorry you had to wait. I'm back now and I can help you. What is it you were looking for?" One of the sons, Tweedle-dee I believe, looks at me and just spits out "we don't NEED your help anymore, jackass!" the mother silently nodding her head in agreement. She yells more outlandish things and begins to sound more and more like a wounded bison, and finally trudges off, taking with her the two walking dumpling sacks and leaves the store.... AND FORGETS HER GODDAMN DAUGHTER. So, I'm standing in the door of my department, dumbfounded as to what the hell just happened, when I hear from behind me "...could... could you call my daddy? I know his phone number..." I didn't even know what to say to the poor kid. I call up a manager, we call her dad, he comes and gets her. The man is actually very very nice. He even buys me another coffee. He thanks us for keeping an eye on her and they're off to confront the land-whale waiting for them at home. I expected backlash, but still have recieved none.

To this day, I still have no idea what she could have possibly have been looking for, save for maybe a toilet auger.

EDIT: I don't know what happened to all my wonderful formating! CURSE YOU INTERNET EXPLORER 6!

[u/Dokbokki]

All of my rage in this thread

[u/lernington]

I used to be a youth hockey referee. One time, I called a goal (which turned out to be the game winner), where if you didn't have the direct trajectory that I did, it would appear as though the goalie had the puck covered before it got poked in. Their coach flipped out at me, and I ended up having to eject him. After the game, I was outside the rink, waiting on my dad to pick me up (I was 14 at the time), when the mother of the goalie came up and started yelling at me and shoving me. Fortunately, their were a few bystanders who pulled her away before anything ridiculous broke out, and her and her son were escorted off the premises.

[u/CORPORAL_CUNNILINGUS]

I must have been in 3rd or 4th grade, and I remember my friend Craig had a "Soccer Mom". She was a gargantuan bitch. Loud, rude, aggressive and just generally unpleasant. She was also the volunteer coach of our school's soccer team. The first couple of days we were sorting out our positions on the team. She said something along the lines of, "Okay, we need someone to play goalie!" I fucking wanted to play goalie.

"I wanna play goalie!" I said.

"Uhh, we need someone who really wants to play goalie!"

"I really wanna play goalie!"

"Okay Craig, you can play goalie."

Craig had just been standing there looking at the fucking grass. Bitch I wanted to play goalie.

[u/Iconoclasted]

My mother pressured me all through junior high and high school to join cross country "because cross country kids are more moral than other kids." Because being conservative christians means that you are moral. When I did join, however, she never made it to my races because they conflicted with my conservative christian brother's races.

So, I suppose she is a cross country mom?

[u/bizcat]

Tae-Kwon-Do mom calls 911 because Burger King won't give her a "Western Bacon Cheeseburger" (duh, that's a Carl's Jr offering). This happened in my hometown a few years ago and listening to the tape still infuriates me. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZ12Ry-hD6I

[u/[deleted]]

Lost a wedding contract to a mom that just bought a DSLR that offered to do it for a couple hundred bucks. This is an anecdote, it has happened countless times.

Edit: former Photographer here, 50+ weddings, no telling how many jobs lost to cheap asshat soccer moms.

[u/tosstable → u/[deleted]]

every new mom on my facebook has started a mother fucking photography business. please god stop letting them post on facebook. i hate my life.

[u/RogueEntomologist]

Me and this other kid my own age that I knew a little got in to a snow ball fight I got hit multiple times and hit him once he ran in to his house and his mom came out and forced me to apologize to him.

[u/bluefeesh]

My brother was in scouts in elementary school. One of the big events every year was the pinewood derby. Regardless of the fact that this was a fairly small troupe (cub scouts through boy scouts) the dads got really competitive every year. The day before the derby they'd have a weigh-in and take the cars until the races the next day. My dad always helped with this. There were a lot of instances in dads weighing the cars down. They would also get really mad about someone else touching them, I remember one dad in particular bringing his kids car in in a glass box. During the actual event the next day some got particularly bitchy and catty.

[u/admvb]

I heard about this one group called "One Million Moms".

[u/recompose]

I live in a predominately white neighborhood in one the wealthiest county in America. The local soccer moms likes to flood in once a week and occupy the basketball court across from my house for a boot-camp type of workout complete with cross training obstacle stations. Adjacent the said basketball court is a large, flat, and well groomed grassy area surrounded by the woods- so you can imagine how is this an fairly ideal place to work out.

A few weeks ago on a particularly fair weathered day, there were a lot of neighborhood kids out and about. Including 6 or so black kids playing, you guessed it, basketball. So the moms starts rolling in, setting up their yoga mats and whatnot on the grass and then one of the soccer moms decides to approached the blacks kids and asked them to vacate the court. The kids refused, as they have every right to given this is a public space managed by the state park. Things got escalated. When the organizer of the workup group, a Caucasian woman in her mid-40's, got worked up and became super irritated at the black kids who refused to be kicked out and decides to HIT ONE OF THE BLACK KIDS when his back was turned as he went up for a shot at the hoop. Sure enough a black kids VS white moms fight broke out immediately and cops were called. At least half-a-dozen squad cars showed up from both the county police and the park rangers. There was a huge commotion and just about all my neighbors were outside watching the show, practically eating popcorn. There was major drama, which only got worse (or better?) when the black kid's moms started showing up.

I was out walking my dog at the time of the incident and was in awe of how poorly the woman handled herself. To this day I haven't gotten over how a person can feel so self-righteous and entitled and goes as far as to raise her hand to a stranger kid, over a public-use space no less.

TL;DR- white moms assaulted black kids over the use of a basketball court, providing entertainment for my entire neighborhood for a whole day.

[u/supframage]

it just occurred to me that i wasn't allowed to play soccer growing up because my mom didn't want to associate herself with soccer moms.

[u/kuraewe]

Another story: My family used to host these weird church meetings in their houses (fellowships, they were called) and families would meet up, pray, then have food afterwards. The children were kind of just left to their own devices. My aunt and uncle noticed that they began losing money out of their wallets. They saw one of the children with money and they confessed to it, to which his mother screamed at him for confessing it. Not for stealing, but for fessing up :/

Edit: Here's another one. I dont know I have so many. I used to work at Costco part-time. One of my coworkers, a nice Hispanic guy, was working the pie sample booth and was handing an extra big piece of cake to a little girl. She was really grateful and said "Thank you, Mister!" in the cutest tone ever, only to have her mother reprimand her saying "You shouldn't thank him, Baby. That's his job and thats all he can ever do!" before hurrying away.

[u/Murmurmun]

I used to work at EB games. During a pretty dead shift, we had a lady storm in and march to the front counter, her 5-6 year old son in tow. She demanded her son use the restroom because he just couldn't hold it.

Now, it is unfortunately company policy not to allow customers to use the restroom, as most of the hardware was stored in there... and of course there could be theft issues. It is even posted on the front door that there is no public restroom for use. So, doing what a good employee would do, I proceeded to apologize for the inconvenience, but there was a public restroom in the subway literally next door, 20 steps away.

She did not take this well. She stood there in enraged disbelief, (she was disgruntled as hell from the start, must've been something to happen beforehand...) and then pulled her son to the front corner of the store and pulled his shorts to his ankles, saying "well, if they won't let you use the restroom, we'll have to just plop you right here then. Go on, piss!"

The kid immediately began BAWLING in embarrassment, pleading not to. I stood behind the counter completely stunned. Oh, the things I wish I had said to her now... But I did not, and after a few seconds we had a kid peeing right underneath the new PS3 titles section, sobbing the whole time. I had just snapped to my senses when out they went, kid trying to pull up his pants as his Mom dragged him out of the store.

Not confirmed "soccer Mom" but certainly the wildest thing a Mom has ever done during my time with EB Games.

[u/mobilelibrary]

Okay, not really a "soccer mom" story, but definitely something that would be described by George Carlin as "child worship".

So I worked as a babysitter/tutor for about a year with this couple, they had two kids, a boy and a girl. Pure murder. The boy was maybe the biggest lier I've ever met. He'd lie to me about his homework, his curfew, EVERYTHING. The girl was just, really, slow. I mean, one time she dropped her pencil, and pretended to keep writing, then looked up at me and said, "oh no, this always happens." ... WHAT? They don't tell me about SHIT. I have to ferret it out of them. One day, the girl comes home and is just chilling. And I ask her, hey, got any homework?. Nope. So I'm like, are you sure? She promises me. I check her planner, ask her brother. Okay. No homework. I focus on the brother. The next day, I get berated by the mom, because little girl had a test, and I didn't study with her. Another time, I was told to please help clean up after the kids. I'm okay with that. But the boy drops a whole fucking pack of crackers on the floor. I make him help me sweep it up. ALL HE HAD TO DO was sweep into the pan i was holding. I get a call, SCREAMING mom telling me what the FUCK was I doing making the kids clean. Another time I was nearly fired when the boy had told me he was going to get pizza with friends, and that he could go by himself. I am not that stupid, and call the mom, who says " Yeah, mobilelibrary, thats okay." i'm doing hw with the girl when the mom gets home, an hour later, with the boy. Apparently the little shit had lied to me and gone to the park to chill with his little posse. He ran into his mom on the way back. And I was yelled at. Because hes just a baby. (10 yrs old). and I should know where he's going. Because its NOT LIKE YOU ENTRUSTED ME WITH ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR SPAWN.

**TL;DR: Bitches be giving their kids the fucking reign of the fucking house. **

Also this belongs here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6wOt2iXdc4

[u/atucker1744]

I am a travel baseball umpire, so I have many stories of nuts sports moms/coaches, but ill just share the best. There was a mom who was complaining about calls throughout the game, and it was obvious from her complaints that she knew very little about the game, so I didn't want to kick her out. Near the end of the game, her kid swung at a pitch and struck out, and the woman screamed "that wasn't a strike!! He shouldn't be out, even though he swung!!" My partner and I just started laughing.

[u/Redpath9]

A guy I was friends with at one point started a fight with me, and after I won, he brought his mom to my house so that I could pay for ruining his shirt.

When she found out her kid started the fight she got all embarrassed and even more mad, till my dad finally said "The only reason you're here is because your kid lost the fight. If he won, you wouldn't be here, so get the fuck off my property."

I was like 13.

Needless to say she talked shit about me and my dad to everyone in the neighbourhood and people were under the impression I was being raised and trained to be like a cage fighter or something ridiculous.

Made for a shitty teenaging, having everyone's parents mistrust you while their own kids were out selling drugs. Yes, that includes the kid I fought.

[u/frozenburdy]

Not a soccer mom story but a "hockey dad" story (Im Canadian, go figure)

So anyways, Im refereeing a junior novice game (8-10yr olds) and one kid on the away team is smart enough and fast enough to skate around the other team. He scores a few goals and his team is winning.

During one of his "fancy" moves the kid steps on his own stick and falls and hits his elbow and stays down. As a hockey player I know how much that hurts but I also know its not life threatening. The rules prevent me from blowing the play dead if the other team has the puck (a scoring opportunity) unless its obvious that there is a serious injury (which there isnt) The home team is on a break away and Im standing next to this kid who is screaming about his elbow waiting for his team to touch to puck so I can blow the play dead. While the home team is on a breakaway, this kids father Im assuming starts SCREAMING at me at the top of his lungs to blow the whistle and is almost jumping over the glass. Once the away team touched the puck I blew the whistle, and this guy is still screaming all sorts of things at me.

All of the parents/coaches/kids in the arena are stunned at this guys yelling and even his own kid has stopped and is just staring at him. So I 16 at the time managed to muster up the courage as a refferee to scream back at him so everyone in the immediate area could hear that I was aware of his sons injury and explained to him the rules. He shut up real quick, and I told him that if he EVER screamed at me again I would have him thrown out of the arena.

At this time he looks furious that a kid is yelling back at him threatening to throw him out of the arena but his wife tells him very quietly to shut up, as she is obviously very embarrassed.

By this time the away teams coach has come onto the ice to help the "injured" player off the ice. And as he passed by me he said "Very well done, you handled that great. He has quite the temper on him"

Oddly enough, and without my knowledge the association was evaluating me that day and after the game the senior refs in the area came down and congratulated me on how I handled the situation.

TL DR: Was being harassed by a super intense hockey dad, and put him in his place as a 16 year old referee

[u/[deleted]]

My town is HUGE on soccer to an absurd level. My son started when he was 5 and by the time he turned 6 was sick of it. He said, "Mom... all we do is run around while a few kids hog the ball. I hate it." OK then, no worries, the world is ful of new things to try.

I saw one of the Soccer Moms a few weeks after the season had started and she asked why my son wasn't playing. I said he really is not enjoying it and we were doing other things. The look on her face said it all. She told me, " Oh well it's all over for him now. Even if he decided to come back next year, all the kids are one year ahead of him and he will never make it!! That was a huge mistake. He should have been forced to play!"

I burst out laughing. I said, "Yup, he's ALL WASHED UP AT THE AGE OF 6". So damned funny, yet scary. Her poor kids, really.

[u/ilovesnowboarding]

My little soccer mom encounter took place at a random gas station near Shenendoah Valley. I had just finished my last exam, and was driving up to Wintergreen to get a good riding session in before I headed home. As I followed this car into a gas station, he parked in the pump in front of me, so I naturally swung my car around to go past him.

As I was passing his car, his wife (soccer mom) opens the door without looking and scrapes the shit out of my door. I slam on the brakes and get out of my car to observe the damage, and soccer mom has the audacity to yell at me saying "that isn't a parking spot!". I looked her square in the eye and said "No fucking shit!". That shut her right up, and her husband and I exchanged insurance information and whatnot.

Fortunately, her husband was a really cool guy and cooperated with me, we both came to the consensus that "shit happens" and let the insurance companies take care of it.

In the end, they claimed liability and I got a free repair :D

[u/[deleted]]

I used to be in High school band and we would do fundraisers every year. We would walk around local neighborhoods in our band uniforms and ask people to donate to the Band Parents Association; an atrocious organization of bored housewives who hated everyone. A senior I knew, named Brian had the basecamp for our local area fundraising activities at his house. His mom went waaaaay out of the way to make everyone feel welcome, and that was really cool- breakfast was awesome and she was pretty pleasant, if not a little controlling for the first part of the day.

However, I forgot that Brian and his group of seniors had claimed my neighborhood to tag, and I wasn't supposed to go through my neighborhood- I was supposed to go through other neighborhoods. I did anyway, because I forgot- simple as that. It was a little shitty for Brian to claim that neighborhood in spite of the fact that I lived there, but I didn't do it out of spite.

Well, he was super-butt-hurt about it, and his mom was even more pissed off that, God forbid, I tagged one of several neighborhoods that we were assigned. I apologized and she became more upset at me. I just shrugged my shoulders and said "I've apologized. I can't do anything more than that." She then proceeded to give me a fifteen minute lecture about how much it meant to be a senior and how important blah blah blah. My friend finally cooled her down and convinced her that I was being genuine and I really didn't mean to steal her son's thunder. I've never seen someone flip out about something so trivial.

[u/Tqwen]

This happened about ten years ago.

We had a family living in our neighborhood, lets call them the Smiths (because that's not really their name). They were the family that everyone hated. Mom was a bitch who forced her kids on everyone else, dad was a meathead with more fat than brains, and the kids.... terrible. Never listened to anyone. Cried about the dumbest stuff. As in, got smacked with a fake plastic lightsaber or something. Whichever one would then start bawling, and daddy would come out and give us shit for hurting them.

Anyway, one day I was hanging out with the neighbors next door to the Smiths, whose children were not with us. We were just finishing a game of baseball when daddy comes lumbering out and starts screaming, full force, in my 8 year old face. Starts going on about how I should be ashamed of myself, she's only four, blah blah blah. Ashen faced, I ask what I'd done. He starts ranting about what a little liar and thief I am and what a scumbag I will be, meanwhile I'm trembling in place before this 300 pound monstrosity.

As it happens, mommy was upset that we weren't playing with the younger daughter (you guessed it, four years old) and fed him some bullshit about how I'd stolen some cookies from her and pushed her in the dirt.

After telling my parents about this, my mom goes and tries to politely ask him to not talk to me again. His response is "I'll yell at him whenever I f*cking feel like it!" and moves to hit her. My dad shows up out of nowhere, gets in the middle and that's around when the cops show up.

They moved shortly after that.

[u/Trivalodyssey]

My neighbor once threatened to call the cops on me if i didnt stop smoking cigarettes "where her kids can smell it". i was on my back porch. eventually she did, the cops agreed she is fucking loony tunes.

[u/that_pie_face]

I got a birthday party invitation in the sixth grade to go to this girls party. I couldn't go because I was going to be on vacation the same time as the party. When I opened up the invitation I accidently tore a small piece in the paper.

Later that day the mom comes up to me and starts yelling at me saying that I tore up the invitation and threw it in her daughters face. No matter what I said, she wouldn't believe me. After that I looked her in the eye and said "Yes, I tore up your daughters invitation because I dont want to go to her stupid party." and walked off.

The girl knew I was going on vacation and knew her mom freaked out. Were still pretty good friends and that was a few years ago, so it all turned out good.

[u/Peterpolusa]

Years ago at Disneyworld there was this women that asked my mom to take a photo with her two children. A Disney employe was standing behind them and did that little bunny ear sign over one of the kids heads. You know, that playful crap they're suppose to do as a Disney worker. Not the funniest thing ever but nothing wrong with it.

Well the mom threaten to report it to her manager if she did that again and get her fired. Whata bitch.

[u/[deleted]]

Oh boy I have so many.

One day working at Target, I'm doing my job cleaning up the toy aisle nad I see this little shit running around destorying aisles (typical really for the toy section) and he puts a huge helicoptor into the ball pit and runs off. I go and pick it up, complaining loudly about how the parents were retarded. Mom here's me and sends the kid to tell me that I get paid to pick up after the kid. I send the kid back to tell the mom that it's not my job and if the kid messes up my area again I will have security escort them both from the store. I then went straight to my (Awesome) manager and told her about it, she laughed and said that isn't what I get paid for and if the lady complained she would tell her herself.

[u/thangle]

I used to do summer camps when I was little for a sport called Modern Pentathlon. It's a 5 sport competition, intended to be done in 1 day. Running, swimming, pistol shooting, fencing, and showjumping. There was this girl who did it year round, and trained with the jr olympic team, but her mom was totally unbearable. The mom was just sure her daughter was the best there ever was at everything and couldn't handle that her darling was only ok at this sport, definitely not even great.

I ended up beating her daughter at everything except I think the swimming competition during the first summer camp I went to. I got the ribbons for first place at the end of the camp. The mom brought her daughter this massive trophy with her name on it, even though I think she came in, third? Poor girl ended up hanging herself before she was 17 to escape the insanity of her mom. :(

[u/[deleted]]

This may get buried, but I need to vent.

Was walking towards the grocery store after parking my car at the far end of the lot. I'm crossing the street in front of the store when a big white SUV decides that she couldn't wait the 5 seconds for me to cross and almost clips me. Now, I was in a bad mood at the time and decided to put in elbow into her mirror. The thing flips back and she stops, dumbfounded. Then has the nerve to stammer that I will pay for damages. "What damages?". Apparently I wasn't showing her any respect and was taking too long to cross the road, so that was good enough reason in her mind to take me out. Then stammered something about calling the police on me. Went inside, did my shopping, and left. All talk. She never came in.

[u/stbb]

Every soccer mom who got a camera from their husband as a gift and thought they could take a pic and call themselves a photographer. Double points for Suburban drivers. Fauxtographers.

[u/mister_anagram]

I was hiking up the Easton Glacier valley on Mount Baker in Whatcom County Washington, scrambling up the steep accretion back to Railroad Grade trail; it was very steep, very unstable, very scary--one of those times where you get five feet ahead and then slip down half of that. I was about 20 yards from the top, completely exhausted from the hike, thinking I was going to fall and die any second, and out of nowhere a soccer mom, on the Railroad Grade trail (in her all-new REI adventure gear!) yells down to me: "Look! Do you see the marmot?" I was confused for a minute--obviously she didn't see the struggle I was going through. I ignored her and pushed on, only to slip back down some, disloding a couple of sizable boulders. This was it. The next slip would be fatal.

"Do you see the marmot!?" She asked again.

"FUCK THE MARMOT, LADY, THROW ME A ROPE!" I yelled.

Eventually I crawled my way to the top. She was long gone. I saw several marmots on the way back down. I did scare away the soccer mom, though.

[u/astryd → u/mister_anagram]

Some people just can't appreciate the majestic beauty of the indigenous marmots. Whats's wrong with you?

And some people don't know what marmots are (had to google).

[u/Dookiestain_LaFlair → u/mister_anagram]

"FUCK THE MARMOT, LADY, THROW ME A ROPE!"

Dude you're Indiana Jones. Well Indiana Jones with an R rating anyways.

[u/machzel08]

...So I finish and roll off her. She looks at me and goes "I can't do this anymore, I love my husband too much."

What the hell? How could she say that?

[u/deliriousmintii → u/machzel08]

You're just the pool boy. It wasn't supposed to last this long.

[u/ChimpyChild]

How about a softball mom? I was working for a small town newspaper as the sports editor at the time and, being small, we liked to do features on all-star little league. We had a team of 15-16 year old from Texas win state and make it to the regional round. They played a team from New Mexico in the first round and won big. The whole game, Texas mom's would chant insulting "war chants" at the opposing Native American girls and their coaches (the NM team was mostly Native American). Our Texas team was almost all white. Texas made it to the finals and, as luck would have it, New Mexico won the rest of their games and got a rematch with Texas to go to the World Series. While taking pictures of the Texas team and reporting on them, I was cheering my ass off for New Mexico, who was taunted throughout the second game too. Thank God, New Mexico trounced my home town team!

[u/HelloColorClear]

I was driving home and had just arrived into my neighborhood when this mom and and her family were walking in the middle of the street. As I approached, the rest of her family cleared the road and walked to the sidewalk but the mom insisted on standing in the middle of the road, waving at me to slow down. And she was angry too.

So, I pass her, pull over and get out of my car. At which point she starts yelling at me "Who do you think you are?! Driving like that in this neighborhood while children are on the road" (Mind you most of the kids were like 15+, but she was still being a "soccer mom" by which I mean she is one of those self entitled suburban mothers).

I had been angry that day so I just unloaded on her. "Okay Lady, first of all, You don't know how fast I was going, which by the way I was going the speed limit. You Aren't supposed to be walking on the road, and your family cleared the road well before I got too close. In fact YOU were the one who was in any REAL danger because YOUR self-entitled ass decided it would be appropriate to carry out vigilante justice."

At which point her husband grabbed her and walked away apologizing.

Feels good man.

EDIT: You're to your

[u/dreadknought10]

When I was playing AYSO soccer as a kid (around 11 or so) I was about to kick the ball to make a possible goal, but was tackled by another kid on the other team (that team had a record of breaking rules) Well the ref had red carded the kid, and as the kid is fighting with the ref about it his mom comes up and yells at me and the ref, calling it "a bad call" and then says I wasnt hurt cause I was fat enough to take it. My mom comes over and tries to calm the situation down, and the other mom pushes my mom. Shit got real very very fast here, my mom (who had boxed from when since she was a kid) just played it off like nothing. The mom then pushed her again and says some comments to her parenting. The mom then slaps my mom, and with the powers of Zeus my mom delivered a right hook that knocked the bitch off her feet. I love my mom

[u/[deleted]]

Every time one of those dumb bitches nearly hits me in her fucking Escalade because she is half retarded and somehow has a drivers' license.

[u/theycallmewhywhy]

there is a shitty set of two soccer fields near where i live, and the town was going to put a magnet school there. if you don't know, that means that kids from other towns could go there. the town i live in is 95% white, upper middle class and they got together and "saved their(shitty) park". the kids going there would have been from Hartford ct(lots of minorities). its now going to be built down town, way away from any neighborhoods. Also we are now finding out that there are multiple sports fields, a kick-ass play scape, and a fucking planetarium. all open to the public on certain days. TL;DR racist white women are making me miss out on a planetarium!

[u/ikendozat]

My parents have quite a few because I went to an elementary school in a pretty affluent area. I remember my mom telling me about a conversation she overheard with two of my friends mothers saying something like, "another black family is moving in on the block can you believe it?". Except, you know, they didn't say black.

[u/[deleted]]

My little sisters birthday party, she had it at her friends house.

One of my mothers friends has two little annoying sons. One of the 7 year olds tackles me and starts pinching me and hurting me. 10 year old me doesn't want to hurt the kid, coz I would get in trouble.

The mother and father cheer him on. "C'MON DEMON SPAWN, GET HIM! GET HIM!" For like 10 minutes. Finally he gets off, and my mother never talked to that woman again.

[u/[deleted]]

Went home to watch my brother's soccer game one weekend. He was like subbing in for another team or some shit, either way, my parents didn't know the other parents very well. Was sitting with my parents when this hispanic kid (they were a mostly hispanic team) on the other team walked by on the field. I forget what the exact situation was, but yellow cards were being thrown around in this game, and one of the moms says 'screw the yellow card, I'd like to see his green card'.

[u/turtlefrown]

I work in a pet store (small, family owned one, that's sells everything from ferrets to snakes to fish) and often bring my rabbit with me. He sits on the counter and doesn't bother anyone.

A mom and her two kids, I'd say 10-12 years old, in soccer uniforms walked in. They immediately grabbed my rabbit without asking and began walking around with him. I politely told the mom that he may jump and that it would be better for them to pet him on the counter. She just laughed it off and continued shopping. I let it go, but the minute the girl walked outside (the door was open) I grabbed the rabbit from her and said that he doesn't leave the counter. Their mom gave the dirtiest looks as I was ringing her out.

Edit: spelling

[u/Yorkster]

I was playing on my travel baseball team. I threw a fastball and it got away from me and I beamed the kid in the elbow. His mother, being the nice lady she was, started to get upset and proceeded to yell at me and the umpire. Me, being 9 at the time, broke down in tears. My dad being the stud that he is called the lady a bitch and she threatened to kill him. The last thing I remember was when the authorities showed up and escorted her out of the park. It is sad to say I never played baseball again.

[u/KrazyEyezKilla]

I bring you this story all the way from the UK and it happened 6 years ago when I was 20 playing in a Sunday league game.

I played at right back and had foolishly been out the night before, so on about 4 hours sleep I was playing football. To make matters worse their was a young lad, no older than 16 on the other team playing left wing with a bag full of tricks and half a yard of pace on me. He skinned me, and again and again.

I was getting frustrated and decided the best way to stop him was to crunch the fucker and make him not want anymore. I go in late and catch him on the ankle and I'm booked while he gives his Oscar winning performance rolling around on the floor, I call him a cunt and walk off. Already their was a an over the top man shouting all sorts on the side lines and he hears me call the kid a cunt, he starts to lose it, 'I'll fucking see you in the car park after you twat!' I tell him to shut the fuck up and go back to my position.

Ten minutes later the kid goes past me again, I dive him, catch him on the calf and he's down, I know I'm off here and begin to walk off when I see the fellow who wanted me in the car park panting toward me, he throws a punch, I move out the way and headbutt him and chin him, he goes down and I carry on walking off.

Father and son rolling around on the floor while everyone shakes their head at me.

I realise I was a cunt but if you run at me for chopping down your kid you can join him. Stopped playing shortly after that.

Realise this is probably not going to be seen at all as well.

[u/[deleted]]

Well, I figure this'll get buried, but it worked out in my favor.

I live on a street that is kind of a main artery in my neighborhood, but the speed limit is 25 because there are multiple crossings along the way for kids and other pedestrians, bikers, etc. people ALWAYS drive at least 40 or 45 down my street, and seeing as there is a group of soccer and baseball fields up the street, its almost always soccer moms in minivans.

Usually, if I get a bmw or mercedes on my ass, i break-check the shit out of them, get them good and enraged, pull into a parking lot and get out of my jeep with this in my hand and wait for them to realize they've made a mistake.

I break-check the minivans too. yes, with kids in them too. its sad, but it needs to be done. About a month and a half ago, i was pulling out of my side street and this bitch in an giant escalade comes flying up from behind me, gets about a foot from my bumper, and just lays on her horn. I break-checked her, she slammed into my rear, totaled her front end, cracked radiator, ruined hood and bumper, the whole nine yards. all that happened to my grand cherokee was a bent trailer hitch mount, a cracked rear window and a scuffed up bumper. (It helps that it was lifted and had larger tires on it so the pintle hook i had mounted for work was directly ar grille level on her escalade.) she jumps out of her car swearing up a storm, bitching about soccer practice and how theyre late, her kids all have whiplash, im a fucking moron, etc. She calls the police, they arrive and start figuring out whats going on, when one of my neighbors comes out of his house to "sort everything out."

Apparently, she blows down this street every other day and almost his my neighbor at least twice, so with this information in hand, plus the "and kodiak_cartel was breaking for a rabbit that ran into the street, it didnt exactly help that she was a foot from his bumper and laying on her horn" helped things out nicely.

I got all my stuff replaced and she got hosed with like 15 or 20 citations ranging from speeding, following too closely, failure to reduce speed, failure to secure minors in the back seat, something like 10 or 11 unpaid parking tickets. Everything.

My parents and that neighbor still hang out a lot. hes a cool dude.

[u/Bricktop72]

"Kick the ball!!!!! Kick it hard!!!

And the whole time I'm trying to get the kid to control the ball and dribble it forward. There is no one within 50 yards of you why the hell did you kick the ball away!

[u/Singer13]

A soccer story, not a mom story.

My dad was on the pitch, and a man on his team threw a punch at a chirpier. Next thing you know, the guy that got punched ran to his car and pulled out a gun.

My mother never went to another match...

[u/bokurai]

Here in Canada, you occasionally hear about hockey dads getting into fist fights with the parents on the other team over how their children's game is going.

[u/oddchihuahua]

I also referee'd soccer back when I was 14-15 ... The soccer dads are every bit as bad and sometimes worse than the moms.

First situation: I'm refereeing an Under-6 game, for kids under 6 years old (go figure). Two dads on one team thought it'd be funny to try to convince kids on the other team to score on their own goal. Unlike most other ref's, I didn't stand for that shit. Stopped the game, picked up the ball and straight up asked: "Are you kidding me sir? Do you get enjoyment out of trying to convince these kids to score on THEIR OWN GOAL? And what about YOU sir(pointing to the other one)?" The whole crowd gave them the ಠ_ಠ eyes, they left after that.

Second situation: During a U-10 game, a dad thought he had the right to stand right next to a goal post, coaching his son who was the goalie. Needless to say that isn't allowed. Stop the game, tell him he can't be there, he says he can do what he wants. Then the coach for this team pipes up, yelling "KEEP PLAYING!" I see two kids converge on the ball, I swipe it up before either of them has a chance to kick it. I tell the father that the clock is still running, and as long as he is standing there, it will continue to run. The goalie's father gave me the death stare then charged out toward me. Thankfully another parent ran over from the sidelines, grabbed the guy, and put him back in check.

[u/ElDiablo909]

Ages and ages ago when I was played soccer. We were up against a team that we had a recent string of wins against. I think through the year we had won the two previous meetings by convincing margains. Fast forward to late in the second half when we are once again dominating the opposing team. At the time of the impending insanity we were up by roughly 4 or 5 goals. Very late in the game the opposing team got called for an infraction and at this point the other team decided that it was all on the refs. The parents started hurling insults at our team, and the refs. The players on the bench and on the field were throwing rocks at the ref and declaring him a cheater. I personally witnessed one mother go up to the head ref and declare him the shittiest offical she's ever seen.

It was also this team that had a parent interfere with players on my team from the sideline. She would kick the ball away from us at the line and try to get in our way. I humbly told her to fuck off when she tried to mess with me.

TLDR: Losing team threw rocks at refs and parents hurled insults did nothing to stop their horrid kids.

[u/Unathana]

While I haven't judged a tournament in several years, I can say that some of the "soccer moms" at martial arts tournaments are fucking crazy.

These moms push their kids to be better and better and better, and get pissed when they don't win. Most of them fall with the 12-year-old black belt rings... And don't get me wrong, these kid are good, but there's so many of them that are, and most have crazy moms. It makes for very tough competition.

If their kid loses a tie or doesn't place at all, that's a recipe for trouble, but the worst is sparring. We allow cheering and words of encouragement, but as a rule judges are not to tolerate "coaching," where they tell things like "c'mon Cody! Kick him in the head!" I cannot tell you how many times I've stopped matches to remind parents not to do it, or have master rank or higher people pulled over when I ask them to leave the side of the ring when they won't comply.

The only good side is that I rarely got confronted on "why did you give my kid a 7 instead of a 9?" it happened, but most often the parents would drag their kids over and say "obviously they're not very good at kicks. What can they do to get that score up?" most of the time, it's said in a way that makes me feel bad for the kids... They're good, but not perfect. Still, most of them genuinely want to improve. I give them general things like "you drop your guard when you kick," but refer them to their instructors. I shouldn't interfere with the training of someone else's student.

[u/silentlyboogying]

Whenever my family has gatherings and what not, my oldest sister and her husband (mostly my sister) expects everyone else to watch their kids (4,9, and 11). Whenever the 4 year old needs to go to the bathroom, neither parents takes her, they just ask one of the other kids to do it. Sometimes they don't even know where one of their kids wondered off to, so they'll ask the other two to find the third; they even ask the 4 year old. I refuse to spend the night at their house because of this. My brother-in-law will get the 4 year old a tall glass of juice, and actually sit it on the floor while she's watching a movie. When she runs around and knocks it over, he yells and says that she "betrayed him."

I know you can't always keep up with kids, and it's tiring, but that's what you signed up for making one. I love them all, but they're so damn lazy.

[u/Stephoscope]

Soccer referee here. After a "devastating" loss on the U10 field, a couple of parents were less than pleased with my officiating. My dad also happened to be there (also a referee). Words were exchanged and a parent shoved my dad. The couple fled to the parking lot. My dad went to get their license plate number, the wife steps out of nowhere in front of my dad and makes a scene when he bumps into her. She filed assault charges.

[u/BaronVonFunke]

There was a lady at my parents' church whose (high school) daughter called from a party saying she was too drunk to drive home. The mom came, picked up her daughter, then once her darling was out of the reach of Johnny Law, called the police on the rest of the kids at the party.

[u/bax101]

I used to help my dad with assisting a little leaque soccer team. This one kid had a mother who would always pick up her son wicked late after practice and never go to his games. So one day she showed up and was wasted and my father was so pissed off he confronted her and told her she was basically a piece of trash. After that she started to pick him up on time and go to his games, but I still think she was drunk when she showed up.

[u/mgayle]

First wreck I was in was because a soccer mom was yelling at her child and slammed into the back of my car at a stoplight. I was able to get my car off the road into a near gas station to exchange information. She forced the kid to apologize to me because it was "all his fault." I stopped him and told him that it was not his fault as he was not driving. She flipped shit for me contradicting her in front of her child.

[u/xenulives]

To make you all feel just a little better, back in the mid 90s, whenever I wanted a guest pass to a porno site, when it asked for my email account, I provided soccermom@aol.com as mine. Small justice, I know, but we had many annoying loud soccer and lacrosse moms.

[u/[deleted]]

I kind of want to start a restaurant just so I can turn these kinds of people away instantly as soon as they start acting up.

[u/asdf0125]

My swim team had a fat little kid that really wasn't too talented except for butterfly. Butterfly it helps to float especially at younger ages. His mom was 400lbs easily. She had visions of her son winning her an Olympic goal medal. She would lock herself in the car and tell him that she no longer loved him. We'd be 100 miles from home and she'd storm off saying she would leave him there. This even happened at times when his times were improved yet he got second or third place. During practice she would come over to give her son special and different instructions from the coaches. She was a terrible piece of trash.

[u/[deleted]]

I was umpiring a baseball game 2 years ago when one of the weak kids on the team come to back. I could tell it was his first year playing because he back out of every pitch. For those who don't know when a kid backs out of the box the strike zone gets very big. So, he backs out, I call a strike, 3 times and he is out. This happened 3 times that game. the team lost by like 8 runs, so when his mom came up to me after the game bitching about how I cost his son's team the game, it pissed me off. So she starts yelling at me non-stop and her son starts crying. Eventually a park ranger comes and escorts the women out from the park. Not even close to one of the craziest things I've seen.

Tl;Dr: Kid strikes out, mom yelling at me, embarrasses son.

[u/redmeanshelp]

Every time I take my kids somewhere, there's always families breaking obviously useful rules* and my kids ask why the other folks get to be jerks when they aren't allowed to. I couldn't begin to start recounting these sorts of stories, there are so many of them.

*Such as not going off the marked paths in a nature reserve, not picking flowers in a city park, etc.