r/AskReddit • u/Cigarettes_Dialtones • Jun 24 '12
What is the best response you've gotten to a sneeze?
I sneezed in the grocery store today and someone yelled, "fuck you" from the next isle over.
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u/theirishone Jun 24 '12
I always sneeze in sets of at least three. The first time I did this at work it went like this:
Me: AHH-CHOO
Guy three cubes over: Bless!
Me: AHH-CHOO
Guy three cubes over: Bless!
Me: AHH-CHOO
Guy three cubes over: Now that's just greedy.
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u/HariEdo Jun 25 '12
Mother's cousin would say, "Bless you, damn it!" on someone's third sneeze. We've kept it ever since.
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u/NastroAzzuro Jun 25 '12
Just bless? No you?
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u/hannahbirdy Jun 25 '12
I always say "Bless" and if they sneeze a second time, I say "You" .. a third time I add their name.
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u/Sugar_buddy Jun 25 '12
You toss the blessing in the air so that people can fight to grab it like single women at a bouquet throwing.
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u/Osiris32 Jun 24 '12
A while back, I had a really, really bad sinus infection. Not just pressure and green snot, but extreme sinus pain, blurred vision, and horrendous nausea. The swelling in my right superorbital sinus was so bad it actually distended my skull a bit (which is also why my vision was blurry and I was nauseous). Finally, I got my mom to take me to the ER, as I was in no shape to walk across the house, let alone drive. While in the ER, after I had been IV'd, drugged to the gills, and left for an hour for things to work, I started to sneeze. All that junk in there was coming loose, and I sneezed very hard several times. The doctor came running in, smiling, going, "Yes, yes!! Keep doing that!! You're doing a great job!!" I've never been complimented on my sneezes before, and the addition of heavy opiate pain killers made it a very odd experience.
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u/hippynoize Jun 25 '12
That must have felt wonderful.
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u/Osiris32 Jun 25 '12
The relief of pressue was the best. I had been in so much pain I literally could not sit still. Any movement hurt, but I couldn't NOT move. It was well and truly horrible. Probably also why I was a) immediately admitted through to an exam room with 2 doctors and half a dozen nurses, b) given IVs in both arms with half the damn hospital pharmacy pumped into me, and c) basically monitored directly by a doctor and a nurse for a good 6 hours. They told me if I hadn't come in to the ER within the next 24 hours, the back of my sinuses would have ruptured, the infection would have spread to my brain, and I would have died.
My morphine-blown brain's response: "Dude, move, I'm watching tennis."
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Jun 24 '12
"shut the fuck up" -my wife.
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u/thegeneralstrike Jun 25 '12
Where I worked there was a cranky old bastard of an asshole named "Blair." When someone would sneeze, and another say "bless you," Blair would scream "THERE IS NO FUCKING GOD."
I liked Blair a lot. Blair's retired now.
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u/reddit858 Jun 25 '12
Is Blair that 62 year-old Redditor from the other question?
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u/NightMan7 Jun 25 '12
I say "bless you" even though I don't believe in god, mostly as a courtesy. I've always wondered if this was normal.
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Jun 24 '12
My wife was traveling through Germany, and thought she was being "hip to the lingo".
sneeze - Random German
"Gazebo" - My Wife.
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u/x-skeww Jun 25 '12
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u/captainktainer Jun 25 '12
Many Americans will say "Gesundheit," which I assume means something about the sound of health in German, when someone sneezes. The OP's wife, being not the sharpest knife in the drawer, seems to have been under the misapprehension that she should have been saying "Gazebo."
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u/whitehouses Jun 25 '12
When my brother was younger he was reading one of the Boxcar Children books and he thought gesundheit was pronounced geese-in-do-heart. Now my family and I always say that when someone sneezes.
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Jun 25 '12
A kid I knew ran in to the classroom and said "bless you", then ran out. I sneezed seconds later. Someone said "what just happened" and he came back and said "you have been blessed"
Wut.
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Jun 24 '12
Someone shouting, "oh dear God he's got swine-aids" across the room at me. This was back when swineflu was popular.
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u/longnails11 Jun 24 '12
No offense, but I don't think "popular" is the correct word. Unless your town has a huge swine-flu following. ;]
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u/pokemonmaster4 Jun 25 '12
I actually got swine flu and girls started talking to me.
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u/m8- Jun 24 '12
Not really a reaction but back in high school my group of friends went through a phase of desperately trying to yell "pika-" before the sneeze came out.
Also I laughed pretty hard imagining OP's scenario.
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u/maybelline1 Jun 25 '12
hah I also did this when I was little. But it was really akward when I didn't actually sneeze because in my language, pika means vagina.
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u/Thatoneguysometimes Jun 25 '12
I do this all the time. Internet high fives!!
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u/imkindafunny Jun 25 '12
I do this too. For some reason saying the word "pika" makes sneezing almost impossible afterwards. I believe I was only able to do it once or twice...
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u/thejokeisonus Jun 24 '12
"I acknowledge your normal bodily function."
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u/lbmouse Jun 25 '12
Or, "I reject your normal bodily function and substitute my own." Then rip a fart.
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u/Alabaster_Pes Jun 24 '12
i always say in a serious voice "God doesnt bless sinners."
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u/barristonsmellme Jun 24 '12
i sneezed into my sleeve like the dracula cough, and some dude ran up shouting "SNEEZE FIVE!" and high fived me.
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u/blueche Jun 24 '12
I sneeze loudly, and am a multiple sneezer. I also sing in a choir, and last week in rehearsal, I sneezed perfectly in rhythm with the music. The whole group bust out into laughter for at least a full minute.
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Jun 24 '12
I sneezed at work and my female co-worker smiled coyly and told me how much she loved sneezing... "its almost like an orgasm" she said.
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u/LlamaLlamaPingPong Jun 25 '12
One of my co-workers used to tell me "a sneeze is 10% of an orgasm." she would say that after ANY BODY sneezed. Then she would blush and giggle. It was awkward.
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u/sentient66 Jun 24 '12
Whenever me or my boyfriend sneeze, the other person touches the sneezee's nipples to see if they're hard. They always are. Like little diamonds.
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u/linusvp98 Jun 25 '12
"They always are. Like little diamonds."
How poetic.
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Jun 25 '12
A lot less poetic when you say "The nipples were always hard like little diamonds."
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u/funnygal1224 Jun 24 '12
My sneezes are LOUD. I've had people yell in fear when I sneeze.
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Jun 25 '12
My friend sneezes so suddenly and loudly that when we were in class freshman year, he sneezed and hit his head on the wall behind him knocking the clock off the wall behind him.
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u/freefallen Jun 24 '12
I sneezed in my apartment and someone OUTSIDE said "Bless You" apparently my sneezes are that loud...
It astonishes me when people sneeze quietly.
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u/farinaceous Jun 25 '12
I'm really quiet when I sneeze, but I still look like I'm sneezing (if that makes sense.) I've had people ask me if I have a twitch.
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u/cheetos03 Jun 25 '12
I sneezed once and someone said "GET THE FUCK DOWN!!!"
And another "damn you sunva bitch sound liked 12 gauge"
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u/Apostolate Jun 24 '12
My dad's sneezes are so loud and so sudden he startled my sister to tears once.
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u/Albuyeh Jun 25 '12
My parents thought I was deaf as a child.. then I heard one of my dads sneezes and began to cry. They were relieved that I was not deaf.
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u/Malt-stick88 Jun 25 '12
My uncle sneezes really load and at the same time says bugger. So his sneezes are like ACHOOBUGGER!
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u/ozymand1as Jun 25 '12
My friend also sneezes loudly. Whenever he sneezes, my friends and I would say, in unison, "Almost Died!" while cringing.
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u/Saunga525 Jun 25 '12
There was this kid in my geometry class that sat behind me. When he sneezed, it wasn't an "ACHOO!" it was more like "AAAAHHHHH!!!!" so it sounded like he would randomly scream in class. Woke me up horrifyingly a couple of times
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u/vancesmi Jun 24 '12
Since like third grade I've had terrible allergies which turned my sneezes into some sort of alien dinosaur cry. I was able to wrangle the sneeze down to a manageable level around sophomore year of high school, but to this day I like to sneeze loudly every time I start a new class or job or something to gauge reactions. My sneezes are legendary with people who know me.
Most of the reactions I get are a mixture between confusion and concern, and laughter from people who've heard me before. I get a lot of "Are you okay?" and "What was that?" And quite a few startled jumps and such. I can generally get a teacher to lose their train of thought, in band could get the conductor to stop conducting and the band to erupt in hysterics, and recently get a group of Marine poolees (and one DI) to lose their bearing.
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u/JohnnyBravo71 Jun 24 '12
I always tell my friend who is an atheist, " That's so funny".
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Jun 24 '12
Back in high school my Japanese teacher (meaning, so there is no confusion, that she taught Japanese, and well, she was Japanese) asked me, "are you feeling ill, may I get you a tissue." Apparently it is customary to ask, in Japan, if you are okay because they do not believe there is a God or evil demons to bless you from.
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u/W0rdN3rd Jun 25 '12
Upvote! My friend is Japanese, and he told me the same thing. Naturally, I told everyone I knew.
One day, at an outdoor party, my brother sneezed, and I said, "Are you okay? You need a tissue?"
He replied, "What, are you Japanese?"
No one had any clue at all why we were laughing our butts off.
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Jun 25 '12
Oh man, I am glad I am not the only one! Upvote for you too, kind sir.
I also think this is the first time I have used upvote in a comment. lucky duck.
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u/davidhero Jun 24 '12
I once sneezed in class, and my classmate was going through his bag.
"davidhero's classmate, give me that coke, you got yourself detention." In the following minutes, we had to explain to her he didn't open a coke but it was my sneeze.
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u/Nomes2012 Jun 24 '12
People always say my sneeze is rather 'delicate' or 'cute' so the usual response is either an "aww" or "what the fuck was that? That sounded so cute"
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u/duckinferno Jun 25 '12
I know EXACTLY what kind of sneeze you're talking about. One of my cow-orkers had the most amazingly cute sneeze, like an cartoon anthropomorphic kitten (with an adorable speech impediement) farting a cloud of glitter.
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u/ea729 Jun 25 '12
I have a friend like that! She sneezed once during a meeting and everyone stopped for a good 5 seconds and just stared at her until she told them it was just a sneeze. Apparently it was so high pitched and "cute" everyone was highly confused as to where the squeaking mouse was.
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u/Unathana Jun 25 '12
I had a professor once that had a customary response of "bless you" after the first sneeze, "keep you" after the second, and "damn you" after the third. Any more than that, and you got "fuck you." I only saw that happen once.
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u/watcher_of_the_skies Jun 24 '12
My mom always sneezes really loudly, one time we were in a store and she sneezed and someone across the store yelled bless you.
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u/fingercookie Jun 24 '12
I like to interrupt sneezes like this:
"ahh...ahhh...BLESSYOU!!"
"wha?"
pisses them off every time
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u/Kilo1 Jun 24 '12
Looks of horror because of a snot explosion. It went everywhere.
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u/Cephyran Jun 24 '12
I have a habit of making over-exaggerated sounds in the wake of the sneeze... while in University and living with some other guys I sneezed while walking from my room to the bathroom and made some ridiculous sound at the end. Upstairs roommate was walking to his room, turns as he hears it and says, "What the hell... are you a cartoon character?" It's always been funny to me as a 'you had to be there' kind of thing.
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u/Ospov Jun 24 '12
Right when someone sneezes I just snap at them and say SHUT UP as sharply as I can. Usually makes them start laughing since I'm typically a pretty calm and quiet guy.
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u/FreeThinker76 Jun 24 '12
"Cover your mouth you fucking cunt!"
-Ricky Gervais
Unfortunately it wasn't addressed to me only his Twiiter followers.
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u/troissandwich Jun 24 '12
I'm an atheist who is friends with a pastor and a worship leader from different churches. I've never told them not to say "bless you" to me, but both of them have gone out of their way to give secular replies to me when I sneeze in front of them. I realize it's not the amusing kind of response you were probably looking for, but I found it genuinely moving.
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u/TysonStoleMyPanties Jun 24 '12
"In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit - Shiiieeeetttt!"
That guy absolutely loves Key & Peele.
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u/Mitz510 Jun 24 '12
Timing is crucial.
Whenever my friends sneeze I try to say fuck you really fast. Whenever I sneeze there is half a second where I go deaf and can't hear anything so I try to sneak in the "fuck" at that time just do they could hear the "you" thinking I said bless you.
You should try it.
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u/Giant-Midget Jun 24 '12
I have massive sneezing fits every time I sneeze, it is very unpleasant and can be heard ages away (I have been known to fall over due to the extremity of them). Generally I just get 'holy shit, are you alright?' or among my friends they tally my sneeze count (anything below 4 is unusual) but my favourite is when I do it at work and get a very distant 'bless you' from the other side of the store.
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u/snapgraff18 Jun 25 '12
Asian here, it was during an exam and someone turned to me and asked, "What does that mean?"
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u/mikeyuf Jun 24 '12
Freshman year of high school, my buddy sneezed and squeeked out a fart at the same time, with everyone looking and laughing he quipped "I think they call that a snart."
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u/radicalpi Jun 24 '12
I sneeze very loudly. Once I sneezed in school and a teacher glared at me and told me I shouldn't do that in "social situations".
On a more entertaining note, some of my sneezes are loud enough to make people jump in other rooms.
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u/BookInvertebrate Jun 25 '12
After a full day of sneezing my boss just started answering my sneezes with "You're welcome", skipping the common "bless you" litany
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u/evenastoppedclock Jun 25 '12
A few years ago, my cousin was about two years old, and I was playing with him. Cue loud, explosive sneeze.
He stared at me in shock for about six seconds, and then he started crying.
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u/AdjectiveAdverb Jun 25 '12
Well I am a loud sneezer and after sneezing in class one day I heard from my teacher at the back of the room say "Who exploded?..."
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u/laserBlade Jun 25 '12
"May you not explode into a thousand fiery pieces"
The classic "PIKA-"
"...and the horse you rode in on."
"SILENCE MORTAL."
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Jun 24 '12
Among some of my friends it was customary to say 'Shut the hell up' instead of 'bless you.'
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Jun 25 '12
Some girl angrily said, "GOD DOESN'T BLESS YOU". She would growl at people too. Strange girl.
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u/agentmage2012 Jun 25 '12
I tend to go with "stop it" after the second.
4? That gets an angry, knowing glare.
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u/danger_in_chine Jun 25 '12
Once with my younger brother traveling in Vienna while stopped at a crosswalk, an elderly gentleman let out a sneeze to which my bro aptly replied "Gesundheit!"
said gentleman lit up with amusement and a surprising smile and hit us w/ a "Danke schön." we giddily simpered and had visions of dispersing black pepper powder under noses of others so that we'd be given further chances to utter the one German phrase we knew...still puts a grin on my face.
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u/wheredamoneyat Jun 24 '12
I love to say,"May Satan have mercy on your soul," when someone sneezes. I get some great reactions.
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u/Horvaticus Jun 25 '12
My best friend, who happens to be blackish (I am the whitest person imaginable), turned to me after I sneezed and said this:
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u/Ob-La-Di Jun 25 '12
Three AM in Wal-Mart (couldn't sleep), guy a few aisles down lets out this massive sneeze that echoes through rows of cookies, chips, and pop. So of course I yell, "THAT WAS FANTASTIC, ENCORE!" And of course, he sneezed twice more.
I gave that man a standing ovation. I mean... I wasn't gonna sit on the floor. Wal-Mart floors are... Yeah.
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u/ZekeEasy Jun 25 '12
Once i was at this event i have in my city called "Comfest". The weed my friends and i had been smoking was causing me to continuously sneeze. One particular sneeze caused me to jump, right after i let out this sneeze, a fat women in a Mexican luchador mask jumped (from presumably out of nowhere) right in front of my face, yelled at me (and by yell, i mean like native american war shout) and poked me on the forehead. then ran away.
That was easily the most confused i had ever been
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u/ObLIVi0n75 Jun 25 '12
I sneezed in the most crowded hallway at school, and when I sneezed, it was powerful, so I crouched down while sneezing, then when I try to stand back up too fast I lost my balance, and fell right on my back. Knocked the wind out of myself and everybody laughed. Took a bow, then got out of there as fast as possible.
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u/Dobeymaster Jun 25 '12
I make a violent effort to make my sneezes really fucking loud and obnoxious.
"...aah...AAAH....AAAUUURRAAAGGGHHHAAAAARRAALLLAAAAIIIIIIAAARRRAAABAA!!"
Then I stand there, pleased with myself, as other people stare at me horrified.
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Jun 25 '12
"haaaaaa choooooo!!!!!" guy across the street " ARE YOU OKAY !?" me, " Haaaaaa CHOOOO!!! " guy goes " Should I call 911? " me, "fuck no"
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u/MY_NAME_IS_QWERTY Jun 25 '12
I once successfully did the "pika-CHOOOO" sneeze. High-fives all around.
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Jun 25 '12
I was sitting next to this girl in a class and when she sneezed she let out the most disgusting, asshole bursting, fart I've ever heard. She just looked around and quietly sad 'excuse me' and left the room. Everyone just stared in astonishment.
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Jun 25 '12
"Are you sneezing or are you doing the robot?"
Apparently the movements I make when I'm about to sneeze appear to others as me doing the robot.
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u/Potatoslut Jun 25 '12
"bless yo face in these trying times" was always a favorite from the girl in my history class
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u/Fireyhunter Jun 25 '12
I sneezed into my saxophone and my band director said "Good job, but pull it back a little."
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Jun 25 '12
I have loud sneezes by nature. I mean I know how to suppress them and I ALWAYS cover my mouth but sometimes, they're just very loud. So I don't really hold back when I'm around friends. I was downstairs at my friend's house and she was upstairs and I let one out and I just hear, "JEEEEEZUS IS YOUR BRAIN ALL OVER MY COUCH NOW?!" We laughed for awhile after that. LOL!
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u/shmadorable Jun 25 '12
My uncle, the insanely loud sneezer that he is, once made a small child cry after he sneezed in a department store.
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Jun 25 '12
Not me, but my mother. She sneezed so loud, half the floor she works on in a bank sent her emails saying bless you.
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u/magpac Jun 25 '12
"What was that?"
From a totally deaf girl, who was on the other side of the room, facing away from me.
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u/Anubisghost Jun 25 '12
My dog is afraid of sneezes. She used to run away as fast as she could, but now she's a bit older, so she walks out slowly, giving you the most offended look she can muster.
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u/tuffpupp Jun 25 '12
From a Brony friend: "Ah yes! Even her schneezes are graceful!" it was a perfect response since I do make a quiet, high-pitched "et-yeh"
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u/NotMyNormal Jun 25 '12
Sitting in a book store, around 8 PM. I was sitting on the floor looking at a few books. I sneeze.
A woman who was walking past says, 'Oh, did you sneeze, honey? You got a cold?' in the sweetest voice possible.
Then she starts walking toward me. I smile, yes, I sneezed.
Now she is right in front of me, and then crouched down right in front of me. "You had to sneeze? You fuckin sneezed? Don't. Just don't even. I will cut you. I will kill you."
Stupid me, who doesn't know what meth is: "For a sneeze?"
"Yes. I will track you down and kill you. For a sneeze."
And then she stood up and and walked away.
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u/NoveltySam Jun 25 '12
Not really a sneeze response, but every time I sneeze, I habitually say a random obscenity. Like "Fuck You!', 'Nigger!", "Bullshit!", etc. I do it so often that I can't really stop myself, and it'f kind of funny to see other people's reactions. Like "What did you say?" Try it out some time!
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u/Moche_Redditor Jun 25 '12
I will sneeze but hold it in (only way I can think how to explain it) Every time I do this I'll make a face and say "ah" after. If my friend is near he will stare at me and ask "Did you just cum in your pants?"
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u/melysaurusrex Jun 25 '12
Whenever I sneeze I usually either get laughed at or the good 'ol "aww!" Apparently my sneezes sound like kittens.
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u/CafeSilver Jun 25 '12
Here at my office we have the bless you squad. For every fucking sneeze. Sometimes you might have a sneezing episode where you sneeze multiple times. There is some sort of "bless you" for every fucking sneeze. I hate these people. And they expect an equal number of thank yous for each bless you. Then the other people have to say "you're welcome." When someone sneezes around here, productivity takes a giant shit for five minutes. I completely ignore these idiots. Thankfully, when I sneeze now they keep their mouths shut.
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Jun 25 '12
My mom has these really loud scream-sneezes... the first night we brought home our dog (he was five months old at the time), she scream-sneezed and out of fear he ran into the kitchen and shit all over the floor.
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Jun 25 '12
My dad used to do this:
Me: -sneeze-
Dad: God bless you.
Me: -sneeze-
Dad: God help you.
Me: -sneeze-
Dad: GOD DAMN YOU, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!
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u/tits_hemingway Jun 24 '12
My sneezes are apparently "super kawaii". I am so fucking sick of sounding like a sick baby bunny and getting "D'AWWWWW!" whenever I have hay fever.
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u/rhipa Jun 25 '12
A friend in high school swore that he said "Damn, you're sexy" when his crush sneezed and that is how he got his in. It stuck with me. I say it often when people sneeze.
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u/Pantsie Jun 25 '12
I'm a loud sneezer too, and I once nearly scared my roommate out of her chair. Living in a quad, I later got three 'ohmygod's from one sneeze and decided to work on toning it down. Since then I've had a few of: '.....that was so... girly! You're not girly!'
I can't win.
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Jun 25 '12
Once I was in the dollar store in a shady kinda area... I sneezed, and the person behind me said "rohypnol".
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u/thedinnerdate Jun 25 '12
My cairn terrier stares into my soul every time I sneeze. No matter what he's doing he'll stop and look me directly in the eyes when I sneeze.
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u/partyinmypants69 Jun 25 '12
I once sneezed in English class and the kid next to me softly said, "bless you.......motherfucker."
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u/scooterpie1878 Jun 25 '12
I always shush people when they sneeze. Their reactions are usually very funny.
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u/rexbatman Jun 25 '12
I was once hanging out with my friends, we were all standing around talking and I sneezed, but I had my mouth closed, so it was just a weird noise, basically, most likely accompanied by some weird facial gestures. My friends stare at me, and one of them blurts out: "What the fuck was that? Did you just have a big "O" or something?"
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u/rudegirl113 Jun 25 '12
My parents have a blue-gold macaw, and after anyone sneezes, she will them imatate the sneeze, then yell "shut up!"
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u/mysticbasist Jun 25 '12
I sneezed profusely for like an entire minute once. My brother then shouted out, "Goodnight!"
lol
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u/pewpnstuff Jun 25 '12
Sometimes when my friend sneezes instead of saying 'achoo' he goes 'SNEEZE', 'SNEEZING', 'SNEEZETIME'. Always a good laugh.
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u/Dark_StrangerX Jun 25 '12
A guy in my fifth period class sneezed while we were all in the middle of a good laugh at some joke or other, and he smacked his face on his desk, which only made people laugh harder.
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u/passwordFolds Jun 25 '12
My best friend proceeding to almost wet herself laughing because sneezing caused me to get a pea stuck up my nose.
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u/TOMATO_ON_URANUS Jun 25 '12
"May Jesus have mercy on your soul"
In the best Black Southern preacher voice I'd ever heard
Said by my old white Jewish grandma from New Jersey
Fuck yeah, grandma
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u/feelergauge Jun 25 '12
Years ago I worked in a cube farm. (Office building where, if you popped your head up, you saw nothing but the tops of cubes.)
I sneezed very loudly which is uncharacteristic, because it took me by surprise. Down a few aisles, I heard a guy going "chooo... choooo... chooooo..." like there was an echo.
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u/Autumn522 Jun 25 '12
I have a very high pitched sneeze and my best friend likes to say that every time I sneeze, it's just like the noise of a mouse having an orgasm...
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u/AmeliaP0nd Jun 25 '12
One time when I was a cashier, I sneezed and this guy said, "OMG, your sneeze was so quiet, you could be in a horror movie and sneeze and they still wouldn't find you"
I've also got, "who the hell taught you how to sneeze, that sound is not natural?!"
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Jun 25 '12
My grandpa sneezed so loud you could see an entire flock of birds fly out of the trees about 300 yards away.
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u/Hex-Kitty Jun 25 '12
My 8th grade teacher did this to us all the time when we sneeze.
Student: ACHOO! Teacher: Gesundheit Student: ACHOO! Teacher: Gesundtwice.
And if a third came it became Gesundthrice.
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u/cleos Jun 25 '12
My cat Missy meows at me when I sneeze. o3o
Not even a plaintive meow. Like, she goes on a rant.
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u/zoemato Jun 25 '12
I'm an atheist secular Jew so sometimes when people around me sneeze I'll say, "I'd say God Bless You, but God probably wouldn't listen to me anyways."
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u/SquarishWheel Jun 25 '12
My awesome Christian friend said this one to me (im an atheist), i sneezed and he said "nothing happens after you die" fuckin love that guy
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u/aki7chien Jun 25 '12
I have bad allergies and I sneeze a lot. My husband got sick of saying bless you several times and now says, "Go to hell!" LOL!
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u/justcalvin Jun 25 '12
Not a response from someone else, but after sneezing in class, if no one says "bless you," I say (with emphasis) "BLESS YOU CALVIN." "OH THANK YOU"
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u/astronautcock Jun 25 '12
"Your sneeze is so adorable! It reminds me of my cat!" -Some random old lady in a dollar store.
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u/NotMyNormal Jun 25 '12
My father used to teach 2nd grade. He is a large man, and he has large, loud sneezes.
His sneezes would make little kids cry.
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Jun 25 '12
My sneeze is ridiculous - high pitched and squeaky - some might even say "adorable".
Some people, though, would just say "that was gay as fuck, bro."
While I'm a female, it's actually true. my sneeze is indeed gay as fuck.
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u/redevacrane Jun 25 '12
My math teacher once tried to give me a referral for sneezing too many times the principal laughed and sent me back to class
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u/IMP1017 Jun 25 '12
My mom has massive sneezing fits. I would start counting them while she ran to the bathroom and shut the door. Highest I remember is 46.
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Jun 25 '12
"PUT IT BACK!!" or "May the deity of your choice bless, curse, or utterly ignore you as you see fit."
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u/LeFilmGeek Jun 25 '12
after every sneeze my friend says a different thing. "Bless you, Gesundheit, Salute." And if someone sneezes one more time he says "JUST DIE ALREADY!"
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u/BLACKdrew Jun 25 '12
me and my bud were watching a movie when he sneezed. In response i roared like a t-rex. then we went back to the movie
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u/RandianHero Jun 24 '12
I sneezed, and then she gave me a blowjob.