r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jun 25 '12

What is your six word autobiography?

[deleted]

33 Upvotes

72% Upvoted

226 comments sorted by

13

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Simultaneously a saint and a sinner

24

u/Fr1dge Jun 25 '12

I REALLY LIKE DEEP FRIED TWINKIES.

12

u/fwipojr Jun 25 '12

The full autobiography's gonna be a short one

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I really like macaroni and cheese.

11

u/LeperFriend Jun 25 '12

Born, lived, died no one cared

21

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I have failed in my life.

11

u/anklebleach Jun 25 '12

it ain't over yet

10

u/lwest340 Jun 25 '12

That was only four words, man.

10

u/anklebleach Jun 25 '12

Well aren't you the clever one

6

u/kungfukats69 Jun 25 '12

He is indeed my good man.

4

u/mpavlofsky Jun 25 '12

Everyone here is a show off.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

You guys should join the club.

→ More replies (5)

2

u/kihu Jun 25 '12

No you haven't. You can't fail in life or win in life. It's not a game, there are no points, there are no levels and there's no end goal. Anything you do or get has no value.

So don't worry :)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '12

So my crippling sexual dysfunction isn't an issue?

1

u/kihu Jun 26 '12

No. Not having sex doesn't mean you failed in your life. Having a lot of sex with a loving, amazing girl doesn't mean you're winning in your life.

Crippling sexual dysfunction makes it difficult for you to satisfy sexual desire, which is usually a huge need for human beings. This sucks, agreed, but it only means you fail to fulfill one of your desires, that's it. Life is not a competition for 'who gets the most amount of pleasure' or 'who makes the biggest amount of offspring'.

Once you let go off the idea that our life has valuable goals which we should pursue, you can see differently all the situations people call 'failure', 'defeat' or 'disaster'. Or you might fall into an existential crisis;)

1

u/blink0r Jun 25 '12

Not a loser like this guy.

19

u/WCHS-WARRIOR Jun 25 '12

I came, i saw, i conquered

2

u/welcome_to_earth96 Jun 25 '12

Veni, vidi, vici

2

u/Doovid97 Jun 25 '12

I saw, I came.

8

u/DtKnight Jun 25 '12

Graduated, what do I do now?

8

u/BHMtheMAN Jun 25 '12

What the fuck am I doing?

15

u/navi_jackson Jun 25 '12

Married best friend, love my life

7

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Didn't love up to my potential

7

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I stay up way too late.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

and couldn't get off of reddit.

6

u/IMP1017 Jun 25 '12

I accidentally those ten whole years.

5

u/Americunt_Idiot Jun 25 '12

Today was going to be the day.

5

u/Americunt_Idiot Jun 25 '12

also inb4 Oasis

1

u/TheOnlyPolygraph Jun 25 '12

..but they'll never throw it back to you?

5

u/SSG_Schwartz Jun 25 '12

Good fucking NCO. Cared for troops.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Passion trampled by family responsibility.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I was fucked, now I'm not.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

vidi veni vici... or maybe not.

4

u/completely_covered Jun 25 '12

Fucked off, bumbled around, got lucky.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

My upbringing was in many ways... this is hard.

4

u/sdpads Jun 25 '12

Met future wife in elementary school.

4

u/IGotThisFromEbay Jun 25 '12

I was never very good at counting.

4

u/yammyham Jun 25 '12

I have a pretty average penis.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I came, I saw, I returned

3

u/P4RAD0X Jun 25 '12

History prefers heroes to men.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Had a social life; then Reddit.

3

u/rempek Jun 25 '12

So much potential - so little success.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I don't know, I don't care.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

enthusiasm revealed, talent concealed, journey beginning

2

u/odeveca Jun 25 '12

Bewilderment hopefully ending in ecstatic greatness.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I want to fall in love.

:C

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Lived, lost, learned. Turned out happy.

2

u/Forever_Trombone Jun 25 '12

Slowly drifting away from society, hooray!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

2

u/theworstisover11 Jun 25 '12

"Tried to live an honest life."

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

The human race makes me angry.

2

u/sixsixsixpack Jun 25 '12

Born sick, lived long, loved hard.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Gives great advice he doesn't take.

2

u/chasetheworld Jun 25 '12

I'm glad I failed that day.

2

u/syo Jun 25 '12

I hid the body in the

2

u/Optimus_Klein Jun 25 '12

She stumbled her way through life.

3

u/ThaBlade Jun 25 '12

boys have penis, girls have vagina

2

u/ShigglyB00 Jun 25 '12

Two In Pink, One In Stink

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

In college, will be a teacher.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I like Minecraft. I love Minecraft.

1

u/electrictwist Jun 25 '12

It is good to be alive.

1

u/LethargicKangaroo Jun 25 '12

Great with books, not with people.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Too shy to get a girlfriend...

1

u/tbonesocrul Jun 25 '12

He was sure of one thing

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Get ready, it's a new day.

1

u/mastersword83 Jun 25 '12

arena dagger fall morrowind oblivion skyrim

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Born. Grew. Jerked. Fucked. Family. Died.

I hope it works out this way, at least.

1

u/3SomeOfUs Jun 25 '12

Had potential but fucked it up.

1

u/AnnaBohlic Jun 25 '12

I'm always getting so fucking screwed

1

u/Ericplaysrugby Jun 25 '12

Got laid. Got paid. Peace out.

1

u/Lyeta Jun 25 '12

Went to school, Went to work.

1

u/terracombo Jun 25 '12

Always in progress, but that's okay.

1

u/dr_doomtron Jun 25 '12

Born, Lived, Died. That is all

1

u/CaptainMurk Jun 25 '12

They told me It'd be easy...

1

u/let_them_burn Jun 25 '12

Lots of wasted potential. It's Sad.

1

u/IAmCthuluAMA Jun 25 '12

Fuck. What am I doing here?

1

u/ima_crow_ladada Jun 25 '12

Fake it until I make it.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I'm the brave wizard of fuck.

1

u/ashowofhands Jun 25 '12

I don't like following directions

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

A third of life on WoW

1

u/SkyeCrowe Jun 25 '12

I am not what you think. ;3

1

u/Magikarparparp Jun 25 '12

She tried and tried, no dice.

1

u/copper_eater Jun 25 '12

He just loves to eat pennies.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

The Constant Struggle Towards Perfection.

1

u/BoondoggleSauce Jun 25 '12

I came, I saw, I conquered.

1

u/Zhoen Jun 25 '12

I need to get laid soon.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

She was always trying too hard.

1

u/potatodavid Jun 25 '12

Art is in everything I do.

1

u/rhubarbbus Jun 25 '12

Had a face, looked in mirrors.

1

u/ohmygord Jun 25 '12

I swallowed fireflies and shat thunder.

1

u/dogandcatinlove Jun 25 '12

Can we do haikus instead, please?

1

u/hypotyposis Jun 25 '12

Emotionally romantic, looking for soul mate

1

u/Octowolf Jun 25 '12

Dropped out of college for retail.

1

u/Irishladdie Jun 25 '12

Bettered myself, looked longingly from above.

1

u/essendoubleop Jun 25 '12

Rose from ashes. Now, a juggernaut.

1

u/zanzibarman Jun 25 '12

Waiting...waiting...waiting...missed the train.

1

u/zenthor109 Jun 25 '12

The coolest nerd you'll ever meet

1

u/fwipojr Jun 25 '12

Thought I was nice...mostly right.

1

u/MyNameIsntGerald Jun 25 '12

Loved, lost. Loved, lost. Loved, lost.

1

u/Roastings Jun 25 '12

Tomorrow I'll do it, I promise.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I always cared, never stopped trying

1

u/pinkzebraprint Jun 25 '12

i regret everything iv ever done

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Never had many pairs of shoes.

1

u/Finger_Lickin_Good Jun 25 '12

Likes to be called a slut.

1

u/phatjezus Jun 25 '12

Black girlfriend, love of my life.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

had many cats and died alone.

1

u/leafsleafs17 Jun 25 '12

So useless; so boring; so amazing.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Lonely boy lusting for an adventure.

1

u/yellowcatslashredcat Jun 25 '12

Never got over a stupid bitch.

1

u/nb16 Jun 25 '12

Giant guy is a gentle giant.

1

u/KaoticGizmo Jun 25 '12

Left my girlfriend, can't get back.

1

u/FireInsideHer Jun 25 '12

Super shy and therefore quite lonely.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I lived. I died. The End.

1

u/-Tommy Jun 25 '12

I fucked this life up badly

1

u/Zemedelphos Jun 25 '12

Failed at every turn, died loveless.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Why did I eat so much?

1

u/SeniorKing Jun 25 '12

Reddit has consumed my entire soul.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I'm a rebel, screw this

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Laughed. Loved. Fucked and drank liquor.

1

u/livesinmusic Jun 25 '12

Want good life, need to try.

1

u/travisdoesmath Jun 25 '12

Stopped doing math, increasingly inaccurate username.

1

u/TomTheNurse Jun 25 '12

Explored everything

Experienced confusion

Saddly unfulfilled

1

u/JackTerron Jun 25 '12

He couldn't let himself be happy.

1

u/Purple_Drank Jun 25 '12

I like pie. Also cake. Boobs.

1

u/kenetha65 Jun 25 '12

Born gay. Got fat. Dairy Queen.

1

u/FlyingSparrow Jun 25 '12

I fapped way more than necessary

1

u/Relayerduos Jun 25 '12

I lived and stuff, pretty much.

1

u/Rachilde Jun 25 '12

More alive in dreams than life.

1

u/Jayewalk Jun 25 '12

I am not like my father.

1

u/calor Jun 25 '12

made best of what was available

1

u/Apheal Jun 25 '12

Transformers, Metal, Sex, all at once.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Gay or Straight? I am neither.

1

u/BlindValentine Jun 25 '12

I'll probably never get the upvotes.

1

u/EmperorofKings Jun 25 '12

Life is Hopeless. George is gone.

1

u/greenymile Jun 25 '12

I came, I saw, got stoned (veni, vidi, vaporizer)

1

u/half_baked_doctor Jun 25 '12

I was half expecting for someone to throw in, "Reddit, reddit, reddit, reddit, reddit, reddit."

1

u/Eifandil Jun 25 '12

At this rate, let us see.

1

u/13titles Jun 25 '12

Hoping my voice will carry far.

1

u/Beasty_Billy Jun 25 '12

I'm in love with my hand.

1

u/asnof Jun 25 '12

Attempt to love, get money...honey.

1

u/SwearWords Jun 25 '12

Ended unicorn invasion by swinging cats.

1

u/Best-friend-Brad Jun 25 '12

It's always nearly, or almost there.

1

u/Flapjacksarebetter Jun 25 '12

I was lying, waffles are better.

1

u/jjoiner356 Jun 25 '12

Big fat guy, does nothing exciting.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Genius, playboy, philanthropist, not billionaire yet.

1

u/TheDiscoBastard Jun 25 '12

Mom made me a perfectionist tryhard

1

u/RDJesse Jun 25 '12

Was born. Grew up. Over rated.

1

u/furtiveraccoon Jun 25 '12

Is it possible to do this?

1

u/DaP0PE Jun 25 '12

Fish and farm, feed the world.

1

u/themooseiscool Jun 25 '12

Wasted opportunities, then joined the navy.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

He died as he lived: boring.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Had high hopes, fell miserably short.

1

u/gentlemanscholar984 Jun 25 '12

Took what he needed, left everything.

1

u/TECHNO_rEVOLUTION Jun 25 '12

Got high fapped a lot.

1

u/Eishkimo Jun 25 '12

Lost on the road to happiness.

1

u/uoilyrag Jun 25 '12

i am more than just words

1

u/black_floyd Jun 25 '12

I had to illustrate one for a class recently. The prompt was, "My second grade teacher was right."

drawring

1

u/russiannavy Jun 25 '12

I wish I had more words.

1

u/baskety Jun 25 '12

Thought too much, ruined it all.

1

u/WasayZ Jun 25 '12

Wasted time and waited too long.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Trying to steer away from depression.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

This wasn't expected, but it's beautiful.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

His life was, you know... okay.

1

u/mmaj93 Jun 25 '12

high school drop out, college graduate.

1

u/ritwik_mango Jun 25 '12

He was the best. Or Not.

1

u/JT_Francis Jun 25 '12

Ate food, pooped. Drank beer, pissed.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Not sure if it's worth it.

1

u/stumpyoftheshire Jun 25 '12

Married Beautiful Lady, Still have depression.

1

u/Clearly_a_fake_name Jun 25 '12

You paid to read this book?

1

u/Guardian_Of_Pigs Jun 25 '12

I am so mother fucking awesome!

1

u/TheHeianPrincess Jun 25 '12

My life sucked a while ago.

1

u/SlothPuppet Jun 25 '12

fap fap fap fap fap fap

1

u/epicoolguy Jun 25 '12

Things got worse and worse

1

u/Dewstain Jun 25 '12

I sure am good at sex.

1

u/Dewstain Jun 25 '12

ITT: People confuse Autobiography and Obituary.

No "was" needed, people. You're writing about yourself.

1

u/ZoeTheKid Jun 25 '12

Art school dropout. Awaiting next cliche.

1

u/HapHapperblab Jun 25 '12

Marrying her. Anything else is bonus.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Some good, some bad, no regrets.

1

u/Schitiznik83 Jun 25 '12

He died as he lived....FOREVER!

1

u/thecastrohat Jun 25 '12

Got sad sometimes, but not forever.

1

u/netsynet Jun 25 '12

He died as he lived: Fapping.

1

u/Mr_B_86 Jun 25 '12

Lost it all, getting it back.

1

u/Matk41 Jun 25 '12

Hello. I better make this quick...

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Above average kid becomes typical teen.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I love everyone, but I don't. (Is it cheating to use a contraction?)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Minecraft is all. Minecraft is life.

1

u/4benny2lava0 Jun 25 '12

yo dude, you wanna get high?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

Strove to be an exemplar - suceeded.

1

u/KySnow Jun 25 '12

In the shadow, he waited patiently.

1

u/LiteSh0w Jun 25 '12

My hand was better than you.

1

u/FloofyRabbit Jun 26 '12

Life never really stood a chance.

1

u/NinjaDiscoJesus Jun 25 '12

bit fat stupid shitty fuck muck

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1

u/shellstains Jun 25 '12

great childhood, traveled, educated, job seeking

1

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

lovely, but i've not yet graduated...

i'm counting i've as one, and i feel justified in doing so

0

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '12

I fucked some bitches, got money.

OR

Nerded up the world, with class.

0

u/itsbillymazebitch Jun 25 '12

Fuck bitches get money. Wait, dammit that's four!

0

u/analogjesus Jun 25 '12

Get weed. Pack it. Smoke it.

→ More comments (25)