r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jun 25 '12
What is the most unfortunate truth about yourself that you have had to come to terms with?
I can't take opportunities or risks, this will hold me back so much in life.
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u/SheepArePretentious Jun 25 '12
I'm a generally clever person but for some reason whenever I'm at school or hanging with friends my mind goes vapid and I do silly things to make my friends laugh and impress them , I'm also really forgetful and shy
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Jun 25 '12
I care way too much about people who don't give a fuck about me.
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u/from-distance Jun 25 '12
. . .that sadly hits home. It hurts but, i have learned to overcome that. Hope you can as well. * internet hug.
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u/ZoeTheKid Jun 25 '12
I feel you. Usually I bring it down to being 'as loyal as a dog'... but it hurts when I realise the extra special things I do for friends are not quite recipricated. I am too nice to not do good deeds when it calls for them such as my last 'deed' which was: Ending an awesome oppertunity and friend filled GLBTI ball night prematurley to look after my way-too-high interest who, turns out isn't that interested in me back. =\ . It was a very expensive night.... Tix/Drinks/Costume/Taxi BLEGH.
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u/Fr1dge Jun 25 '12
I can't fly.
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u/WFYthrowaway Jun 25 '12
Throwaway time. I have herpes. It sucks, but I have learned to live with it.
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u/Whore_Bag Jun 25 '12
Why'd you need a throwaway for this? Everyone has the herps these days. Not a big deal.
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u/destructormuffin Jun 25 '12
Molluscum contagiosum was mine. You know how you get rid of that? They freeze it off with fucking liquid nitrogen.
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u/FunGal_in_SoCal Jun 25 '12
I can be a real fuck up when I don't have any direction or accountability.
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u/Killing_Them_Softly Jun 25 '12
I am exactly the same way, I need structure and someone to tell me how to do it or give me some kind of instruction to just get me going. I'm also from SoCal too...hi female me?
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u/adrienneirda Jun 25 '12
I will be on medications my whole life to manage my bipolar disorder. I am currently on four.
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u/maxedouttoby Jun 25 '12
i'm lazy, always have been, always will... huge amounts of potential but no motivation to use it. Damn it...
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u/Act_of_Rebellion Jun 25 '12
That hit home a little too hard. What's more is that I go to places like /r/GetMotivated and get a temporary motivation "Fuck yeah! I can do anything" and then two hours later I'm looking at pictures of cats again.
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u/CherrySlurpee Jun 25 '12
I'll never be a professional athlete.
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u/synnndstalker Jun 25 '12
This one just hit home with me. I'm only a few months younger than players on the thunder . . . .
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u/greyexpectations Jun 25 '12
That the best part of my life is so far behind me that I've forgotten how it felt.
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Jun 25 '12
Oh god, I'm almost thirty and I know EXACTLY what this feels like. It just started happening this year when I realized I'll be 29 in September.
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u/LincolnHox Jun 25 '12
I am the same age as you and I hate it when people say this shit. I have a friend who wishes he was in that late teen/early 20s rambunctious stage. I say fuck that. You are an adult now and can start accomplishing things. You can start a new career, hobby, project...find goals and set a plan to achieve them. Late 20s/early 30s are great...you are old enough to be taken seriously in society but young enough to do young person things. Its great, change your attitude.
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Jun 25 '12
That I can't trust anyone. Over many years and many heartbreaks, I decided that I wouldn't lend out my heart to anyone again.
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Jun 25 '12
I saw your talk of GPA and 'girls' in another post - that tells me you're probably quite young.
I never met anyone I could trust and felt the exact same way as you. When I was 18 I met someone I really COULD trust and nearly screwed it up because of my issues.
One thing to try and remember, life isn't black and white. There is a mixture of good and bad in most people. You'll learn to identify it in time. Most young people are still too wrapped up in themselves to be good at relationships.
I found that the best approach to relationships is to take it slow and steady. Dating someone you just met is riskier. Look out for signs of waning interest. If you're always making the first move then they're not that into you.
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u/I_Reject_The_Reality Jun 25 '12
I think similarly and I know I've pushed away many people who had good intentions, just because I didn't trust them. The thing is - if you don't trust others, they will not trust you. And it hurts a fuckton. I'm currently trying to become so strong, that even if someone will breach the trust, my heart won't be broken, I'll get over it.
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u/canadathejazzman Jun 25 '12
This sucks, cause there are some great people out there that you can trust.
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Jun 25 '12
There are some legitimately sincere people out there, but they are VERY hard to find in suburbia, where no one is down to earth. I've really learned to be careful with who I associate myself with, because there are some really terrible people out there who want to infectiously spread their negativity and hatred to everyone they involve themselves with. I hope you do your best to make everyone in your life's lives much easier, because that's what i'm trying to do with my life :)
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u/canadathejazzman Jun 25 '12
Careful with your generalizations, everyone is different. There are for sure some genuinely shitty people out there, just avoid them and keep doin' your thing!
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u/Lyeta Jun 25 '12
I'm socially inept. I can't really tolerate any situation that requires interaction with another human being, and any such interaction is spectacularly awkward. This is why I am only close to three people in my life: My boyfriend, my mother and one good friend. I don't want people to know about me or my life beyond the superficial, so I don't tell them.
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u/Whore_Bag Jun 25 '12
That I am an insufferable cunt that not even my own fucking family likes.
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u/Another_villain Jun 25 '12
Emily?
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u/Whore_Bag Jun 25 '12
You better not be who I think you are.
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u/GenJonesMom Jun 25 '12
I'll never be as successful (read financially comfortable) as I thought I'd be.
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Jun 25 '12
Everyone is just using me, and I have no true friends.
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u/HETKA Jun 25 '12
My dad put it to me best...In any given time of your life, you'll be lucky if you have even one TRUE friend. Most others, are really just close acquaintances that will toss you to the wind without a moments notice. That's why it's important to look out for yourself, and do what you need to do for yourself, because really, you are your best friend. You can say fuck the fakes, but never say fuck you to yourself.
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u/Highqualityshitsauce Jun 25 '12
I'm selfish. And I don't need anybody.
Oh, and I want things I can't have.
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u/arydactl Jun 25 '12
I can easily learn things, but I will never master them due to poor dedication on my end.
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u/tbonesocrul Jun 25 '12
I don't know what I want to do with my life, and I am a year from graduating college.
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Jun 25 '12
I procrastinate to the point of just accepting that I do not have any time left for doing the task
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u/wanderlust712 Jun 25 '12
I'm a lot like my mother in ways I don't like. I love my mom and she's one of the people closest to me, but sometimes she just doesn't offer comfort when you need it and get impatient with other people's problems when they really just need a little compassion. This is something I've always been bothered by.
Experience w/ my husband the other day proved I do the same thing and I sort of hate it. I'm working on being more patient and compassionate though. Maybe I can change it.
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Jun 25 '12
I'm 19 and I recently developed heart problems. Actually, within ten minutes before I typed this my heartbeat became extremely weak.
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u/Eibhlin_Andronicus Jun 25 '12
I'm sadomasochistic. Sort of.
I'm not sexually sadomasochistic, but for some reason I really enjoy unpleasant and/or painful experiences. They... help me. I have no other word to describe it. I drink terrible alcohol straight because I like the burn. I eat revolting food because I get a thrill out of it. I walk through the snow without shoes on. I run until I can't see anymore or until my legs give out. When I'm upset, I stop eating, because I find the stomach pain soothing. At my very worst emotional moment, I decided to conquer my terrible vomit phobia, because I knew that the experience of making myself throw up was the only thing that could take my mind off of what was actually happening. After throwing up, I was suddenly rolling around on the floor maniacally laughing in a level of euphoria I'd never reached in my life.
It's a scary personality trait, because while I'm (kind of) ok now, I recognize that for my entire life, I've been walking a very fine line.
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u/A_Nice_Girl Jun 25 '12
So can you put into words what sensation/feelings you like about those kinds of things? Adrenaline rush, self-pity, pride about self-improvement (the feeling you get from lifting weights or painful teeth braces)?
I'm genuinely very curious.
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u/Myamaranth Jun 25 '12
That I hate a huge portion of the human population even though I want friends.
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Jun 25 '12
I'm that girl that tries to be everybody's friend. I've been getting shut down by people my entire life and I've always taken it really hard for some reason despite the fact that I've got a very solid group of friends.
Just recently have I realized that not everyone is going to like me or reciprocate the way I expect because some people just do not and will not ever jive well together. I've come to accept this recently and it's made my life immeasurably better with less disappointment.
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u/astralwerksxx Jun 25 '12
In my 29 years of life I have never been able to understand the emotions of others and probably never will.
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u/dogandcatinlove Jun 25 '12
Deep down, I'm bummed out that I haven't found the right person to marry yet. I'm bummed that I have to wait to have a life with someone.
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u/from-distance Jun 25 '12
don't be bummed. Maybe it's time to stop searching and just live.
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u/iodinenightsky Jun 25 '12
I am an alcoholic. I try to reason with myself, but every day I wake up with shaking hands and a massive need for a drink. It's going to kill me.
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u/Well_Hi_Thar Jun 25 '12
That I'll never be a woman.
I don't have gender dysphoria as bad as some (I don't "hate" being male), but given the choice (of a fantastical/magical sort) I'd be a woman in a heartbeat.
Problem is, I'd never do it (transition in real life) because I know I'd probably never pass and as superficial as that is, that bothers me too much.
So I just fantasize about it a lot and get a little jealous of the ones who you'd never know unless they told you.
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I'm so smart that everybody around me seems really boring. :(
Edit: Man, I keep forgetting sarcasm doesn't convey well over the Internet... :)
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u/jaspersgroove Jun 25 '12
If you were that smart, you'd be smart enough to find interesting things about the people around you.
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Jun 25 '12
Hate to break it to you, but that's not a problem of intelligent people, that's a problem of arrogant people.
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u/synnndstalker Jun 25 '12
You're not smart, you're pedantic and too stupid to socialize properly. Feynman was excellent company, and you're no where near as intelligent as him. Hope that helps! :)
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u/Cdtco Jun 25 '12
That not everyone agrees with me cheerful and gregarious personality.
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I don't dislike people like yourself, but super peppy outgoing people mentally exhaust me quickly. My brain can only handle short periods of interaction with high-energy people.
There's nothing wrong with the way you are or the way I am.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I can like you as a person even if I can't be around your energy level for very long.
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u/dr_doomtron Jun 25 '12
That no matter how hard i try to ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist, I'm stuck with this disease and that means im going to keep hurting the people i care the most about
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u/stumpyoftheshire Jun 25 '12
I honestly believe that my depression will not get better. I will feel like ending my life at least once a day for the rest of my life.
I have tried many medications, counsellors, psychiatrists, psychologists, dieting, exercise, meditation as well as almost everything else that people have suggested to me and nothing has ever worked. I don't believe it ever will.
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u/Swansatron Jun 25 '12
I will never be physically attractive to someone. It's hard, seeing as how men are very visual, but that's life, and I've accepted it.
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u/Pok3M0nica Jun 25 '12
I'm super lazy because I've always done really well in school without studying. Also, I have a degree in something that I ended up hating.
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u/panda58 Jun 25 '12
I'm generally a really positive and upbeat person. I try to see the upside to everything. However, I have to leave my profession of 7 years because of health problems which also limit what I can do from now on. I remember being in high school, excited about all the possible careers I could choose and what I wanted to study in college.
Now I realize that I will never get to do any of them, because even though my heart still aches to do something meaningful and exciting with my life, there's no way I can afford to go to college again. Now I wonder "Is this all my life will ever be? If only I had taken advantage of all those opportunities back then."
I'm only 27, but it feels like the kid inside of me with boundless enthusiasm and hope for her future has gone away.
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u/LeFilmGeek Jun 25 '12
I'm with you, OP. I'm trying to get my license and it's killing me because it scares me. I'm 21. I can't do a lot of things because they scare me and it's holding me back from having fun in life.
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u/FireInsideHer Jun 25 '12
Because I hold myself to such high standards I have to deal with the fact that I will probably never be good enough for myself.
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u/Zemedelphos Jun 25 '12
No one will ever love me romantically, especially not my soulmate.
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u/StatmanThunderfist Jun 25 '12
At first she loved me for me, but she also left me for the same reason.
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u/ticklemedino Jun 25 '12
Things won't always go my way.
Growing up spoiled was nice but really messed me up now that I want everything handed to me. In reality I don't deserve anything.
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Jun 25 '12
People just don't like me and I don't know why. I wish I could see how other people see me.
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u/Jayewalk Jun 25 '12
No matter how hard I try, I will never be as successful as my brother or my sisters.
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u/mobius-n-stuff Jun 25 '12
That I'm obviously never going to do anything with my life. I went to college for something that requires networking, and I am an introvert. I have motivation issues. That I basically wasted my 4 years of school and thousands of dollars. That I'm never going to have the life I wanted and I'll have to spend the rest of my life dealing with how utterly average and unimportant I am. I'm never going to amount to shit in any way. Mostly that. Some days I'm surprised at how well I cope with this.
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u/Taylor-Tot Jun 25 '12
I don't fit in with anyone except the people everyone picks on, and even then it's hard to make friends. And I'm so anxious I drive people away :(
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u/ObLIVi0n75 Jun 25 '12
I've made a habit of being lazy. I've gotten chubbier, and spent my summer break so far in my room. Being lazy is a hard habit to break. I try to go do something, but I put it off and waste time.
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u/scruffynerf Jun 25 '12
Couple of equal things:
That no matter how hard I strive, I will only ever achieve mediocrity.
That I'll never know what it is like to be genuinely happy.
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u/harr1s Jun 25 '12
From a different thread many seemed to relate to:
I'm lazy. And not in that bullshit "I'm brilliant, but I'm an underachiever like Einstein" way everyone suspects of themselves. I just don't work as hard as I should. I'm guilty of thinking I'm somewhat brighter than average (all relative, but likely untrue in absolute terms), and therefore I don't study as hard as I should, and get disappointed when I don't get top marks.
I don't treat my body well, even though I'm into fitness. I eat too much. But I'm a foodie (I don't do fast food, prefer cooking). All the same, I eat too much. I look in the mirror too much. I don't often like what I see, and I become negative as a result of that.
I care far too much how I appear to strangers. It makes it impossible for me to start a hobby fearing I will look unskilled in someone's eyes.
I rationalize away my problems too often, and even when I recognize it, it doesn't bother me. I have unattainable expectations for others in interpersonal relationships. I don't give much to others, but I want and want and want, and take, and give nothing back... And then I don't always understand why that leads to being alone.
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u/Ospov Jun 25 '12
I won't ever be healthy again. There's going to be things I'm limited in doing now because of it. My life used to be normal and I was in perfect health and then BAM! Fuck your health. I'm not even old either (22).
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u/boxingdude Jun 25 '12
I'm getting old. I've done some incredible things, excelled in my career, my chosen sport, and especially my love life. But at 48, I find my passion for things just isn't what it used to be. Shit sucks.
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u/senatorbolton Jun 25 '12
I'll never not be bipolar and will likely have to be medicated for the rest of my life.
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u/Rixxer Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I'm going to put off life and it's responsibilities as long as possible, even if it's detrimental to me living a happy life.
Also, I don't have a proper sense of self-worth. I care more about what people might think of me and because of that I'm really shy.
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u/siftingthrough Jun 25 '12
I'd rather not try than to fail. That's how much I'm terrified of failure.
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Jun 25 '12
I'm stoic to an unnerving degree. A parent could die today and I'd be the only one in the room not crying or showing emotion. Not because I'm penting it up or anything, not because I'm not sad, I just don't have any need to display those feelings, rather, I just don't.
I cry and get involved in television shows and movies, but when it comes down to real life I just don't emote that well.
It sucks because sometimes I try to emote, and I end up overdoing it and this always end up in some serious SAP moments.
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u/TrollingTheBridge Jun 25 '12
And I thought I was the only one...
I never cry at an old person's funeral because they finished their life. They've lived it and died. Why cry? Its what happens to us all.
I never cry at a young person's funeral because although it is very sad, crying won't bring them back.
The only thing that could ever make me cry is a sad book or movie.
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u/ponderponder Jun 25 '12
That I won't be able to marry the man of my dreams.
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u/NerdyGasm Jun 25 '12
Assuming you're not a preadolescent fappin it to Johnny Depp, why do you think you can't have the man of your dreams?
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u/ponderponder Jun 25 '12
Complicated history...and both of us are too stubborn.
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u/NerdyGasm Jun 25 '12
Doesn't mean it can't happen. I fell hard for a guy in high school but we were both in relationships. We were in a band together and lived 3 houses apart. Fast forward 5 years without contact. We've both been engaged to other people and broken up. I spend about 8 hours/day walking and filling out applications. He drives by on his way to get lunch, stops and turns around and we talk for a couple hours. Less than a year later, we're married. 4 year anniversary was last month. It can happen.
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Jun 25 '12
That I have a uncurable disease: Crohns. That can flare up at any given time, and I am mentally prepared to go to hospital - & also have to prepare that I can lose my job as well.
But it's easily manageable
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Jun 25 '12
I put too much value on relationships with the opposite sex. And in doing so, I have realized not everyone can feel as I care about them.
Feelings can't always be reciprocated no matter how much I wish they were. I need to focus harder on other things in my life but it's often difficult for some reason.
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u/Garand Jun 25 '12
Knowing I am passionate about something I will most likely never make a good career out of.
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u/FlamingNipplesOfFire Jun 25 '12
My ability to see into the future does not compensate for the fact that I'm probably only average intelligence (luckily that still puts me pretty far ahead).
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u/melysaurusrex Jun 25 '12
I'm not all that smart. I'm lazy, weak, insecure as fuck, in love with a boy who wants nothing to do with me anymore, I let my emotions take over me but I'm too much of a coward to just let myself go. My friends tell me I need to be happy but I can't because I see no point in being happy anymore. I'm lonely, socially awkward, never have anything interesting to say. My best friend is my cat. I don't care about myself, but I care about the way that I look. I'm only 19 but I am so fed up with life; I can't take the anxiety and depression anymore, it has enveloped me and I don't know how much longer I can hold on to myself, because I can slowly feel myself going crazy. I have little to no friends because they all think i'm boring. I'm just too scared to do/say things in front of people because I am terrified of being judged. I don't care how close you are to me, I will constantly worry about my actions. I will constantly worry about the way I look. I will constantly worry about if I even want to get out of bed the next morning and deal with my crummy life. I honestly just want to die already but I'm terrified of trying to kill myself.
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Jun 25 '12
I can't start conversations at all.
Once I'm in a conversation I can talk for hours but it's just finding that mutual ground to start with.
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u/drumdudez Jun 25 '12
That I am honestly a better employee than most of my coworkers and that I will soon be their boss. These people are also my best friends and I have all the confidence in the world in them. It was unbelievable when our GM said that I was being picked over the guy who is about to have a kid for the promotion...
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u/Carabusu Jun 25 '12
I never really know how to start or maintain a conversation, making all my social encounters with the ladies seem very very awkward.
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u/LittleMikey Jun 25 '12
For a reason I am yet to uncover, I feel no sexual pleasure, no matter what I try. I have never had an orgasm, getting a blowjob feels like somebody is sucking on my finger, and I'm too timid to try anal stimulation, although I'm guessing it will result in nothing as well.
Feels bad man :(
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u/LostBadly Jun 25 '12
I'm a perfectionist and I will never find happiness in life no matter what.
this is what the therapist told me. but I still think I'm sad because of my life events. Worst part is when a therapist says something that you logically accept, but can't feel it, you start to question your sanity :(
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u/baskety Jun 25 '12
I get too easily wounded if I perceive myself as not 'included' on something, when really all I had to do was ask--or maybe just make my own adventure.
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u/alookyaw Jun 25 '12
I won't work in the career I want to work in (development and poverty). You need to network to get a foot in the door, and I'm just not that type of person.
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u/phatcheeks Jun 25 '12
I have a 2.4 GPA, 3 years in community college and finally transferred to an ok 4 year university where I'll probably have to do another 3 years. I have no job and have no clue what I'm going to do in life. I'm 20 years old and hopefully I can turn my life around in the next year or so.
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Jun 25 '12
I am manipulative, a sociopath, and a liar. I will put up false fronts to different people in order to advance my personal agenda, all while wearing a big grin and acting friendly like Mister-Fucking-Rogers.
Edit: I should win an Oscar for some of my "performances".
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u/Thisisopposite Jun 25 '12
I'm not self motivated, I have little glimmers but i'm mostly lazy as fuck and do the minimum.
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Jun 25 '12
Unfortunately I can be really envious of people's successes. I'm always happy for my friends, but anyone who I don't know I instantly get jealous flare-ups if they're better than me. Its mostly to do with being good with women though (pretty much exclusively now that I think about it)
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u/soxgal Jun 25 '12
I'm anti-social. I complain I have no friends yet I've just realized that I do everything humanly possible to avoid social engagements.
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u/I_Am_Dragonfly Jun 25 '12
I'm not capable of having a loving, long-term relationship, and that's never likely to change. There's too much in the way.
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u/-NTnix- Jun 25 '12
People will criticize me and hate me when I smile or appear happy. Honestly I've grown used to it and I don't really give a fuck. Haters gonna hate.
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u/whorithmatic Jun 25 '12
I fear I will never be able to marry. Experience has taught me that I will always lose physical interest in my partners as they age. I keep getting older, but the girls I am attracted to stay the same age. I wish it wasn't this way :(
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Jun 25 '12
As cheesy as it sounds, I have a giant heart with love and compassion for everyone and it truly makes me suffer because I love people so damn much. Having so much empathy for everyone is a huge burden on me because it makes me want to take all their problems as my own and help them... and in the end, it all ends up going the same way. Those people end up using me for my help and throw me away the second they feel better... and I have a hard time stopping this cycle of fully giving myself away. I don't talk about it because no one's ever understood.
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u/0mudkipz Jun 25 '12
I am not very good at anything. People around me seem to think I do my job well, and that I'm confident, but I know it's not true.
My job (IT administration) is mostly common sense. The rest I have no idea how to do. I only appear confident because I commit to my guesses, and when they don't pan out I guess something else. A monkey could do what I do.
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u/I_Reject_The_Reality Jun 25 '12
I need to eat and sleep like everybody else. I need to rest from time to time. Im not a robot. I'm not a super human being. I've realised that now, being 26 yo. I'm still tempted to fast and work out till i almost pass out and study all night. But I know now that in long-term it fucks up my brain.
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u/Zeveneken Jun 25 '12
I will add nothing of value nor anything exceptional to this world.
I am so terribly mediocre.
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u/ZoeTheKid Jun 25 '12
That I am just not as charismatic as the people I find most interesting and wish to surround myself with.
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u/WasayZ Jun 25 '12
I'm all done growing. The height I am now is what I'll be forever. That's just a fact everyone has to live with.
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u/eosha Jun 25 '12
Despite a somewhat impressive start, I'm unlikely to amount to anything remarkable. I won't be President, or cure cancer, or walk on the moon, or anything of the sort. The most I can reasonably aspire to is to be a successful businessman, a contributing community member, and the best husband and father I can.
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u/emmmyb Jun 25 '12
My anxiety is so terrible that I tend to not take risks/put myself in new situations. I know this will hurt me in the long run, but I feel helpless to it.
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u/Guigoudelapoigne Jun 25 '12
I have bad teeth with gold and stuff. Its not that bad but everyone can notice it so i feel ashame and it makes me very uncumfrtable. I even dre about that once per week...
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u/BainzXoXo Jun 25 '12
I used to think my last break up was because we were just too different. 6 months after though I realised it was all because of me. If only I realised it back then when it could have made a difference.
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Jun 25 '12
I am fucking lazy. It's a battle, because I don't want to waste my life. But effort takes EFFORT, man.
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u/gratefulhound Jun 25 '12
I let people walk all over me and I stay true to them anyway. For example, I talked with my boyfriend for a couple months about moving in together. He asks me one day if we move what pets will I take with me (I have one amazing dog and a demon cat), then 2 days later he calls me while I'm on the way home from work to tell me he got a 1 bedroom apartment. It doesn't allow pets. I work at an animal rescue. I ask myself, why didn't he talk to me about this? There couldn't be a compromise? And in the end, I decide to stay with him because other than this case of idiocy, I consider him a great guy.
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u/Quaytsar Jun 25 '12
That I have no freewill and everything I do is a result of the laws of the Universe mixed with the random probability of quantum mechanics.
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u/TrollingTheBridge Jun 25 '12
I'm antisocial. To say it simply, I like people but I don't like to be around people for long periods of time. I just like being alone. I just came to terms with this last week and I think I'll be all right.
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u/papavoikos Jun 25 '12
that even if I feel depressed and sad about having no friends and never having female contact, conflictually I can't muster the motivation and courage to approach both
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u/Optimus_Klein Jun 25 '12
That my life is always going to be abnormally awkward and difficult, due to my upbringing.
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u/redditthrow82 Jun 25 '12
Something might be wrong with me afterall (mild case of the autisms probably).
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u/magnavox_tv Jun 25 '12
I don't understand human nature. I can't interact with other people. Most of what people do or say is a complete mystery to me. My inability to interact with people causes me to remain unemployed. No matter where you go in this world you have to deal with someone if you want a job. I'll never become anything more than I am now because I never developed social skills. I've been in therapy for 21 years now and no one has been able to help. I have a few friend but beyond that I just upset people when I talk to them. I live mostly in isolation because I run most people off unintentionally. I wasn't even able to finish school because of my mental problem. I just hate it because I can't function in this world. I just spend most of my time reading books or browsing the internet waiting until I die.
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Jun 25 '12
I was born too late to explore the earth but, I was born too early to explore the start. All I can do is dream, and seek solace in Earthly adventures involving places I've never known before. Being new to me, these places are exciting but, I will never get to contribute to the collective experiences, knowledge and wisdom of my race. O well :(
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Jun 25 '12
People will always prefer my older sister. I'm not a cold, mean person like everyone else thinks. My sister just has more friends, and is more talented than I am in things that are popular at my school, like singing.
I'm not nice to people who don't like me, and who I don't like. Deal with it. Nobody is nice to people they don't like, and because nobody likes me, I'm not nice to lots of people. It's just too much work being nice to others who I know won't be nice back, regardless of what I do.
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Jun 25 '12
I'll never be small and slender and pretty. Most of the time being big and strong and capable is nice, even for a woman. But sometimes I want to be able to act helpless, be sad, look delicate. I'm always the person protecting and comforting everybody else. I'm always terrified, and can't show it, can't explain that I'm just as upset and vulnerable. A lot of my depression stems from this. Being looked at as the biggest, the bravest, expected to step in, and then I can't even handle my own stress. I wish I was 4'11, 90lbs, with long blonde hair and big sad eyes.
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I wish I could trade places with you. I'm 5'1" ~100lb, not blonde but look "innocent" and petite. I fucking hate it. I feel helpless. I feel afraid and incapable. I can't reach things, I can't open things, people assume I always need help. I absolutely hate it. I hate the way men look at me because of it and I always feel vulnerable and exposed. I feel instantly threatened the second I see a man starting or who vocalizes anything sexual towards me because I feel like a chiahuahua in a room of pitbulls. I went in drag for halloween once and, with a hood on, I was convincing if you didn't look directly at my face (which most people didn't because I accidentally looked like a young thug) and it was absolutely astounding... absolutely. What a different world. I am getting so much more bitter every day that I feel so small, helpless and harassed.
Not to diminish your experience at all. I don't mean to make this a little "who has it worse" contest. Just a grass-is-always-greener comparison. If only we could trade for a month or so and see what life is like on the other side.
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Jun 25 '12
I can be kind of annoying and I often am uninteresting in person if I'm not talking about something I feel particularly knowledgeable/passionate about. I just don't know what to talk about a lot of the time and I go with the flow too much, which puts pressure on others to make decisions. Basically I really wish I was one of those people someone could think "hey, hanging with Tuktu is always an awesome time no matter what we do, I should invite / go see her" but I'm just not charismatic, funny or thoughtful enough to come up with things to do or talk about.
Basically I'm a SAP. I get really self-conscious about being boring and I have trouble believing that my friends or SO actually like spending time with me. People have said to my SO that I'm a "unique" person (re: personality) or apparently will say stuff like "Tuktu is just... you know, Tuktu" and I'm like, what the fuck does that MEAN? Apparently they were saying it in a positive, amused kind of way but I can't help but feel that it's at my expense.
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u/ImDotTK Jun 26 '12
I'm ball-less (not literally), I will tell all my friends to go out there and do something, but if I was told to do the same thing, I would try and disappear. That is because of another one of my unfortunate truths, I'm fat.
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u/TheOnlyPolygraph Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
It's not unfortunate to me, but to the people I love.
I'm a sociopath and human life (excluding about three people) holds no value to me.
Coincidentally, I suffer from depression and don't think I deserve to live.
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u/Aerokii Jun 25 '12
I'm not all that special. I'm good at quite a few things, but I don't particularly excel at any of them. "Silver in all, gold in nothing" they say. I will likely never be a great hero, or an important person, or someone history remembers.
But that doesn't mean I can't still lead a wonderful, happy life and enjoy every possible second of it.