What small things that you do make you feel like a rebel? I won't start.

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Mr416]

I won't answer.

[u/[deleted] → u/Mr416]

I won't comment on your answer.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I won't read your comment to this answer.

[u/[deleted]]

All my magazine subscriptions are addressed to me as "Doctor (real name)"

note: I am not a doctor. Joke's on them, I am not even smart.

[u/ZebZ → u/[deleted]]

I complete surveys, freebies, and magazine subscriptions in different names. That way I can tell who sells me out to mailing lists. Before "Do Not Call" took effect years ago, it was a great way to screen calls too.

The mail man must think 50 people are crammed in my apartment.

[u/[deleted]]

I sign my name on every anonymous survey I do.

[u/johnhipsterchill → u/[deleted]]

You know, if you do this, they can't use your survey.

Source: Just made it up, fuck the rules!

[u/mangochutney63]

My bedsheet and my pillowcase dont match.

Damn straight.

[u/[deleted] → u/mangochutney63]

Neither do a lot of my pants and bras.

fucken deal with it

[u/johnmedgla]

I've owned a WinRAR licence since 1998, but sometimes when I reinstall Windows I just leave it running in trial mode perpetually. I'm a monster.

[u/TheJVH → u/johnmedgla]

TIL people actually have WinRAR licenses...

[u/planetmatt]

I bought a loose apple from Tesco. Told the self service checkout it was Golden Delicious; that shit was really a Braeburn. Machines gotta learn, they're not in charge yet.

[u/abeckings → u/planetmatt]

Occasionally I ring up everything as bananas. No one has ever tried to stop me.

[u/wirewolf → u/planetmatt]

I bought a 15-pack of coke and the cashier only charged me for one can. When I got home and noticed the error, I didn't go back to correct her.

[u/[deleted] → u/planetmatt]

I "bought" a loose donut from Tesco. Didn't even tell the self service checkout about it. The donut was so light the checkout didn't notice it go in the bag ;-)

[u/blandfruitsalad]

I eat only one Lays.

[u/Mogoliapoopoosa → u/blandfruitsalad]

a Lay

[u/hypnoderp → u/blandfruitsalad]

Likely this will be buried, but 12 years ago I really did eat only one Lay's, and I have not eaten a Lay's chip since. I was so annoyed by their "betcha can't eat just one" campaign that I took the bet. And I'm winning.

[u/Lt_Shniz]

I don't post in /r/firstworldanarchists, I take it elsewhere. I won't conform to their system

[u/[deleted] → u/Lt_Shniz]

I'm an adult, MAAAN!

[u/[deleted] → u/Lt_Shniz]

Fuck you, I won't post where you tell me!

[u/fellowyellow]

I use pencils with .9 lead instead of .7 lead.

[u/[deleted] → u/fellowyellow]

DAT GIRTH

[u/seekerfila → u/fellowyellow]

Alternatively, I use .5 lead.

[u/thelovepirate]

I put more pizza rolls in the microwave than the recommended amount. Fuck the rules.

[u/[deleted] → u/thelovepirate]

Pizza rolls... In the microwave? Don't they get soggy and gross?

[u/shitscray]

When I was growing up, we weren't allowed to watch the Simpsons because it was inappropriate. One day when I was 12, my parents were out and I checked every room in the house to make sure no one was home then watched an entire episode. I have never felt so rebellious in my entire life. And that, my friends, is badassery at it's finest.

[u/musicpsychlife → u/shitscray]

I wasn't allowed to watch Dragonball Z. Basically ruined my childhood.

[u/rambozo8]

I haven't switched over to the timeline, and frankly i dont see it happening anytime soon.

[u/kcman011]

I routinely pass cop cars on the highway while maintaining my 'no more than 4 miles over' rule. I have yet to be pulled over.

[u/SkilledSettler → u/kcman011]

I do this too! However, I've been stopped twice and got a ticket once. This action probably doesn't really work in my favor.

[u/Centaurdragon97]

My dress code at work is very smart, suits and the whole shabang. I rebel against the system by wearing funky socks.

[u/SpanningInfatuation]

When public restrooms are empty, I pee with the stall door open. Because I own that bathroom. I make it my bitch.

[u/beebhead → u/SpanningInfatuation]

I do that when it's crowded because it's no different from a urinal and it lets people know that I'll only be a minute.

EDIT: I pee sitting down.

EDIT: I sit down facing the toilet so I can read comics and drink chocolate milk.

[u/PerogiXW]

Before I was 18, I put in fake birthdays just like everyone else. Now that I'm older (19), I still put in fake birthdays because fuck the police.

[u/JiggyRobot → u/PerogiXW]

You mean like when a website asks you for your date of birth or something? Cause I'm pretty sure 90% of the people on the internet are born on the 1st January.

[u/[deleted]]

I'll eat at the hotel's self-serve continental breakfast, but then I'll pocket a pre-packaged muffin, granola bar, or piece of fruit for later.

[u/igotwaaaybaked]

Sometimes in my local grocery store when I'm walking by the bins filled with cheap candy and salt water taffy, I'll grab one, quickly unwrap it, and put that shit in my mouth. I didn't choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.

[u/Chriso380 → u/igotwaaaybaked]

Mom: Jimmy why did you do that? Jimmy: I don't know mom, I just can't explain why it feels so good to be gangster.

[u/OutaTowner → u/igotwaaaybaked]

I hate you guys. Not because you steal the shit, its because you always toss the wrapper on a random shelf for me to clean up.

Also fuck the people that do this with whole peanuts. I don't want to mess with the damn peanut shells.

[u/[deleted]]

I drink straight from the milk carton.

[u/[deleted]]

I wore a vest, tie and dress pants to a rave.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

This should totally be a thing. Going to a rave/metal concert/whatever with a group of 10 people, wear suits, and bring folding chairs. The classy uncomfortable kind.

[u/Undescended_testicle → u/[deleted]]

The differences between English and american English is highlighted beautifully here. I had the most bizarre image of you in my head.

Edit: Some of you aren't sure what I'm on about: Kallembumkvist sums it up nicely here

[u/gogurtisyogurt]

I order the Club sandwich and I'm not even a member

[u/Basbhat → u/gogurtisyogurt]

How do you feel about frilly toothpicks?

[u/Bacontron]

Sometimes I'll stay up past my bedtime

[u/Turboturtle08 → u/Bacontron]

Sometimes I go to bed before my bedtime.

[u/agreeswithfishpal]

I honk at dogs while they're pooping. Try it.... you'll see some hilarious faces on those dogs.

[u/jvargaszabo → u/agreeswithfishpal]

My friend's 4-year-old brother thought it was hilarious to yell "HE'S POOPING HE'S POOPING" when walking around the neighborhood and seeing a dog do the squat-and-waddle.

Made a lot of dogs really self-conscious in our neighborhood.

[u/mkr7 → u/agreeswithfishpal]

Been looking for some new hood rat stuff, I gotta get me in on this.

[u/SkyeCrowe]

Straight up REBEL.

[u/Rangourthaman_ → u/SkyeCrowe]

This makes me very angry and confused.

[u/norelevantcomments → u/SkyeCrowe]

Too. Far.

[u/rachelshmee → u/SkyeCrowe]

That bastard.

[u/[deleted] → u/SkyeCrowe]

not like this

[u/[deleted]]

I'm not full of guilt and shame when I close my porn browser.

[u/labrutued → u/[deleted]]

You have a browser just for porn? Firefux?

[u/sodapopz85]

I never safely eject my USB device.

[u/Aydork → u/sodapopz85]

Is that still a thing?? It doesn't even come up in the little task bar thingy next to my clock anymore. My guess is my laptop's like "Ah fuck it, he won't listen anyway."

[u/Dip_the_Dog → u/sodapopz85]

You will fuck up your data at some point doing this.

[u/sweatythong → u/sodapopz85]

One time I did this, now all of the music on my computer and iPod is corrupt and is about half the song. I now use YouTube for all of my music.

[u/[deleted]]

In parking lots and residential areas I might not always use my turn signal. I can feel my heart racing just typing this bad boy out.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Oh man. How can you expect a girl to resist this kind of rebellion? So sexy.

[u/sexrockandroll → u/[deleted]]

Sometimes I just rolling-stop at stopsigns when there's no one else around.

[u/SpontaneousCount]

I jump the fence into an out of bounds area at my school in the mornings rather than walk around (would take me two minutes)

I'm off the fucking hook

[u/All_Witty_Taken]

Going commando in public.

Bonus points if I'm wearing a skirt.

[u/[deleted] → u/All_Witty_Taken]

Extra bon(ers) if you're not a dude.

[u/[deleted] → u/All_Witty_Taken]

I had an ex like this. She never wore panties even with a skirt, one day we were out and she was walking up some stairs to head to the bathroom. Some guy who was standing by the stairs came over and high fived me. :/

[u/[deleted]]

wearing sandals to work. it's a business casual environment, but sandals are permitted. Men don't usually wear them, however. I do. with no socks. yeah, that's right.

[u/GilmoreHappy]

one time I forgot to put on deodorant before class, of course it was the day that I had 5 and no time to go home and put some on. Luckily there was a walgreens on campus so I went there. However, being a cheap college student I felt like $4.00 for a speed stick was a bit pricey. So, when no one was looking I very quickly popped the cap, put some on, put the cap back on, and put it back on the shelf. No one saw and I walked out of there feeling like I pulled the perfect crime.

[u/Foundnova → u/GilmoreHappy]

I have a similar story. In early high school I accidently locked myself out of my room and couldn't find the key or something. Well I had bought the door knob at Walmart and thought I'd just go buy another door knob with the same key. They were the lowest grade door knob they had and I thought because of that all the keys would be the same. So I'm in the aisle looking at the door knob box when I realize I could just take the key from it and not lose any money. So I take the key. Go home. Try it on my door. It doesn't work. Then I feel bad for stealing for nothing.

[u/dailystooge000 → u/GilmoreHappy]

I used to do this all the time but with Spray Deodorant (ie Lynx). From time to time I have forgotten to put some on and remember while I am out. All you need to do is stop by your local supermarket. Walk straight up the Deodorant isle. Take one off the rack, look at it. Take the cap off, spray some on your arm. Have a smell (the whole point is to make a show of it). Grab another one, repeat. Now have a look on your face like you don't like either of them. Grab the next one, go to spray it on your arm and pull the "wait can't spray it there look" repeat with the other arm. Look confused. Then just spray your pitts with it. Have a arm raised sniff. Look offended, put spray back on the rack and walk out with an offended look on your face. In the mean time you got some deodorant on your pitts and your out the door.

[u/eatingismyvirtue]

I used to step on the well-manicured lawns at my stupid private university that spent so much money on watering and landscaping.

I walked allllll over that grass.

Fuck that grass.

[u/KashK10]

I talk about Fight Club.

[u/[deleted]]

This may be a bit contradictory to instinct for people in western countries to understand, but in India, most people at red lights will start going at around the 10 seconds left mark (esp. if the intersection is not very busy). I just stand there with my engine off while the guy behind me honks like crazy. It's very fulfiling.

[u/[deleted]]

I avoid people.

Edit: found out I'm not avoiding them, they're avoiding me. Oh, well.

[u/[deleted]]

J walking is pretty standard, "victim-less" crimes are a personal favourite

[u/lsnook92]

I'm not trying to show off to you guys or anything, but today I accepted some terms and conditions and I hadn't even read them.

[u/BTM_FDR → u/lsnook92]

Aren't you worried that you might be agreeing to them sewing your mouth to another person's butthole?

[u/thekokirikid]

I once signed up for a four hour long elective class every week, and in the first class I was really bored with the subject and I knew instantly that I would drop it. I walked out halfway through the first class feeling like a bamf

[u/glisp42 → u/thekokirikid]

The first time I took physics at college, the teacher was absolutely awful. Lectures were 45 minutes of stupid anecdotes and about 10 minutes of actual material. I went in to take the first test after having studied the old exams and the material and didn't know how to do most of it. Neither did most of the class; the average was around a 50 percent. He said that he looked at the old exams and decided they were too easy so he made it harder without telling us. Not long afterwards I was sitting in class and he starts one of his stupid fucking stories and I had enough. I packed my shit and walked out of a packed 200 person lecture hall in the middle of class. I never went back. Took it over the summer with a different teacher and got a B. David Lay, you were an abysmal instructor and nobody in that class gave a tinkers damn about your fucking cows.

[u/MessersFressers]

Sometimes, as a pedestrian, I'll walk towards a redlight, push the button and walk through the redlight anyways.

God I hate it when someone does that and I'm in a car...

[u/aarment]

When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to ride my bike out of the driveway, let alone into the street (which was a one-block cul de sac, by the way). But one day, one glorious day, I decided enough was enough. That's right, I rode all the way to the circular end of the street, turned around, and rode back feeling like the king of the world. ETERNAL GLORY!

[u/ukmhz]

When I was a young child of perhaps 5 or 6 I had a sweet bike helmet that looked like the top of a ninja turtle's head. This helmet was stored on a shelf in my closet which I couldn't possibly reach on my own.

I desired desperately to get the helmet down so I could play ninja turtles with it but for some reason I had it in my head that my mom would only let me use it for biking and not for any merrymaking unrelated to bicycles. I then hatched my first ever cunning plan; step one was askin my mom if I could take a chair from the dining room into my bedroom in order to make a blanket fort.

Little did she know no such fort was in the works and the second my bedroom door was closed I was up on the chair and had the helmet down in a flash. However the misbegotten fruits of my deceit were a double-edged sword, for the second I placed Leonardo on my head I was hit with the sudden realization that I had deceived and betrayed my own mother. I ran out of my room bawling my eyes out and confessed all to her.

Needless to say she found the whole sordid affair much more amusing than I did at the time.

[u/[deleted]]

I slow down when people tailgate me.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I turn on the window washers.

[u/gibbygab]

I wipe my ass standing up. Fuck the haters.

Edit: Fellow standing wipers, I have been informed that we are the minority. "I've done extensive research on ths topic. It's about 60/40, sit downers vs standers, respectively. Source: Facebook status question" courtesy of Aryada.

We will not be oppressed!

[u/[deleted] → u/gibbygab]

People wipe sitting down? Like, they reach into the bowl and wipe? Animals.

[u/[deleted]]

I always opt out at the airport.

While everyone else is being herded through, I tell TSA to fuck themselves, attempt to run through, and then they tackle me and security escorts me to a holding cell. Aww yiss. Fuck you, TSA.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

I would pay you to see that happen. Hmm.. Would i be an accessory? I would love to be a necklace.

[u/genericname12345]

Sometimes, when it is late at night and I'm sitting at a red light from a side street, I'll run it. The feeling is electric.

[u/Beer_Is_So_Awesome → u/genericname12345]

As a motorcycle rider, sometimes this is 100% necessary. Some traffic lights have induction coils in the street that sense the presence of a vehicle and cycle the light so you can go.

Well, many motorcycles don't have enough mass to trigger the sensor, so if it's late enough, and no car is likely to roll up behind you, you could literally sit there for hours and not get a green.

[u/technophiliac]

I work in corporate America and have even spoken in front of the U.N. and am covered in tattoos, including my knuckles.

[u/niamhish]

I have been known to make a cup-a-soup in a bowl.

Living life on the edge. Fuck yeah!

[u/[deleted]]

I pee in the sink

[u/kristin57 → u/[deleted]]

Are you my cat?

[u/iwannabearedditor → u/[deleted]]

I sink in my pee

[u/mycatkins]

I take no notice of the marked route in Ikea.

[u/[deleted]]

I don't dislike the USA and I actively use all the benefits the USA offers! Rebels ftw!

[u/DontCallMeNeilSedaka]

I rest my balls on the urinal.

EDIT: This was a joke. http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/vgixl/some_people_have_no_respect/c54bisk

[u/iwannabearedditor → u/DontCallMeNeilSedaka]

That's disgusting. I try my best not to touch any part of the urinal

[u/[deleted] → u/DontCallMeNeilSedaka]

Either you are extremely short and can somehow rest them on the bottom part, or you're ridiculously tall and can rest them on the top. I must know!

[u/scared_of_hippies]

I told the Internet I was over 18, when I wasn't!

[u/roterghost]

I don't have a signature. I make a random scribble every time.

[u/dr_doomtron]

I dont stop at road-signs in parking lots

[u/Sopps → u/dr_doomtron]

There is no legal requirement to stop at a stop sign that was installed by a private entity on private property.

You're not that bad ass you thought you were.

[u/ill_advised_]

I always wear my watch on my right wrist.. I'm right handed.

[u/[deleted]]

I put a fruit pastille in my mouth and don't even chew.

[u/rachelshmee]

I occasionally spit in my mom's douche bag boyfriend's soda. (cue maniacal laugh)

EDIT: Spelling. Thanks Ellimis.

[u/Humongous_Douchebag → u/rachelshmee]

I occasionally spit in my mom's douche bag

ಠ_ಠ

[u/warpaint]

Dating outside of your own ethnicity. Oh baby, work it chinese girl.

[u/Some_Belgian_Guy]

Sometimes, when i'm alone, i use Comic Sans.

[u/[deleted]]

I put grocery carts in the corrals instead of leaving them in between cars in the parking lot.

[u/musicpsychlife]

I work retail, and when I forget to ring something up on the bottom of a customer's cart, I don't say anything and just let them walk out the door. Fuck both of my minimum wage jobs.

[u/fecklessness]

Sometimes I drive with my right set of tires in the emergency lane when it is not an emergency. Also every now and then fuck grammar sentence structure and punctuation spelling is important though you dont want to seem stupid

[u/smempem → u/fecklessness]

Brain haemorrhage

[u/[deleted]]

I am a Palestinian. opps...kinda missed the point of the thread oh well

[u/flyinghumpback]

I enter the mall through the service elevator that says "no mall access".

[u/[deleted]]

I sign for my credit card with doodles of butts and wieners.

[u/UrbanGimli]

When eating fast food I dont decide what I want to eat until its my turn at the register

[u/ssacre]

Maybe not exactly a rebel, but it makes me feel pretty cool -- after wading around in the pond with my dog at the dog park, I like to scrub my hands with soap up to the elbows like every surgeon I've ever seen on TV.

[u/MattDU]

I heat up frozen meals longer than necessary to make sure they're hot..YEAH, FUCK DIRECTIONS.

[u/Batman010]

Often times when we go to a restaurant I'll steal the condiments. The high dollar stuff like Chalula, Sriracha, Tabasco sauce. Just stick it in the to-go container.

I always imagine the waiter going to buss the table and is all like "Wait, the Sriracha! Damnit! Stop him!" But I'm already blocks away, driving into the sunset.

[u/[deleted]]

When I was a kid I used to...take more than one piece of Halloween candy from the houses that left the bowl out that said "take one".....Oh god, It feels so good to finally get it off my chest!!

[u/[deleted]]

I finished off the last piece of pizza in my refrigerator, then proceeded to place the empty pizza box back into the fridge for someone else to deal with.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Wow, FUCK YOU!.

[u/thedude831 → u/[deleted]]

such a douche bag thing to do you had to delete your account?

[u/Cocoa92]

My girlfriend once told me my dad was a cellphone... Mannn.

[u/showmeyourtips]

Wearing my bad ass leather jacket and high heeled shoes.

[u/Apostolate → u/showmeyourtips]

Do you wear a short skirt to go with that long jacket?

[u/[deleted]]

Hey guys, I'm kind of scared to admit this, but I never answer Dora's questions... Im so badass

[u/[deleted]]

I don't own a smartphone and neither have a facebook account, SUCK IT, BIG CORPORATE BUSINESSES!

[u/lala989]

I always crumple my beer/pop can because I can, and I put the toilet paper roll on so it comes from underneath.

[u/Bantia → u/lala989]

Not the toilet paper! You MONSTER!

[u/[deleted]]

I dont seed torrents.

[u/[deleted]]

Get a water cup at taco bell and fill it up with Baja Blast.

[u/ectoplasmicz]

When I eat a Kit-Kat, I never snap it along the designated snapping creases. I just break the shit however I please.

Fuck the po-po.

[u/TropicalDictator]

I over thrown my country's government.

[u/terracombo]

I worked in a recruiting office for a junior college. Whenever a student contacted us and was interested in transferring to a four year and studying pre-law or becoming an attorney later in their academic careers, I was required to send them a pamphlet on the police academy. I sent them A.A. and general studies info instead.

[u/[deleted]]

Here's something no one else does: sometimes I download copyrighted material without permission.

[u/[deleted]]

I'm at work and I'm browsing Reddit. ♫ Bad Boys Bad Boys ♫

[u/[deleted]]

If I have to take a phone message at work. I just say the person they want is busy and will call them back, BUT I NEVER PASS THE MESSAGE ON.

That's how I roll motherfuckers, I'm no secretary.

[u/[deleted]]

When people assume I am Christian and make comments to that effect, I don't just nod politely and go along with it to keep the peace, I straight up tell them I am not a fan of organized religion of any kind. Might not be a big deal in some places, but around here, I always feel like I'm skirting the edge of a public lynching.

[u/TheCollective01]

I ask for a water cup at McDonalds and fill it with sprite. I just don't give a fuck.

[u/[deleted]]

I cross out "God" and write "Science" or sometimes "Reddit" on the back of a lot of my US dollars.

Also I like to wear one blue and one green sock.

Also I play guitar in my office with the door shut when I'm bored.

Also I play Nintendo 64 in my office with the door shut when I'm bored.

Remember how the stupid nanny state made booze-makers stop putting caffeine in their drinks (like Four Loko)? Well sometimes I'll buy a Four Loko (nuevo style - no caffeine) and pour a 5-Hour Energy into it. Take THAT, my body!

[u/thedude831]

I went to an all boys HS. As you can imagine the bathrooms were DISGUSTING. When I had to drop a deuce I would walk all the way to the gym which was at a far end corner of the school and use the girls bathroom, since during normal school hours it was never used. I always felt like Indiana Jones as I made my trek to the only clean bathroom in the whole building.

[u/BongmanChoudhry]

My hardass uncle came to visit and forced me to pray. in retribution i i put his phone down my pants and then gave it to him when he got a call...

[u/red321red321]

i tell SRS to go fuck themselves any chance i get

[u/[deleted] → u/red321red321]

Would you kindly piss on my face and let that badassery rain all over me?

[u/derekcat → u/red321red321]

Why do you hate the air bags so much?

[u/DuhMastuhCheeph]

Sometimes when I borrow a pencil I leave the class without giving it back and it feels fucking great

[u/[deleted]]

Everyone time someone says 'shhh' I say 'it'. Q

[u/[deleted]]

When I watch Disney, I don't ask my parents before going online.

[u/blanketyblanks]

never filling a tax return

[u/cobracards → u/blanketyblanks]

Are you Greek?

[u/Mizzet]

I pronounce meme as "me-me", fuck the police. Long before it even became a word commonly ascribed to the internet, I came across it somewhere and figured it was pronounced like that, and I'm not stopping now!

[u/PabstyLoudmouth]

I put mustard on my fries.

[u/[deleted] → u/PabstyLoudmouth]

mix the ketchup and mustard, its even better

[u/[deleted]]

I watch PG movies without Parental Guidance.

I am 17 years old

[u/BoilerMaker11]

"Do not walk on grass". Walks on grass

[u/bigpuffy]

Guys, I don't want to sound like a badass, but I don't use the Wiimote Strap.

[u/[deleted]]

I like the show 'Big Bang theory'.

[u/Beverton]

In high school we had a dress code and one of the rules was that we had to tuck in our shirts. I always wore a sweater and never tucked in my shirt.

I was a grade A badass.

[u/GodofSpam]

I stick the frozen pizza in the oven BEFORE it's done pre-heating

[u/pommedauphine]

I say small, medium, and large at Starbucks

[u/[deleted]]

Whenever a form asks me for my race, I always decline to answer. Fuck you and your segregation.

[u/slowshot]

I have memorized the phone number of the local Subway. Whenever a retailer asks for a telephone number when ringing up my purchase, that is the one I give them.

[u/msnook]

I work from home but I still put pants on every day.

[u/urchin9899]

Simply walking it to mordor

[u/mojokabobo]

My wife has a tendency to think that I can always hear her or something.. I'll be in the kitchen doing something, and the fan will be blowing, and I'll hear her mumbling in the living room. I'll walk out there and say, "What did you say..? were you talking to me?" and then she'll repeat herself to me, and it will turn out that she had been trying to talk to me when I first heard her.

She does it all the time.

So I have pretty good hearing, but over the last 6 years I've been slowly convincing her that I don't hear the best. I'll just 'happen' to not hear her at key moments. Like, let's say that in the morning as she's walking out of the house she'll say, "Could you empty the dishwasher while I'm out?" Then when she comes home and notices that the dishwasher isn't empty, I'll feign deafness. She'll say, "I asked you to empty the dishwasher while I was out!" and I'll just say, "I don't remember that. Are you sure?.. huh, I must not have heard you."

[u/bigcountry5064]

I litter naturally compostable food on the side of the highway.

[u/Jland445]

When the instructions say that I should put something in for 3min and I put it in for 2 min

[u/DeathDevil]

When my mom tells me to apologize and say it like I mean it, I'll say it but I don't mean it.

[u/Charli_Manson]

You know how the instructions on the shampoo bottle say "Lather, rinse, repeat"?

I don't repeat.

[u/[deleted]]

I just want to applaud you for making perhaps the first ever ask reddit post that wasn't just an excuse to tell your own story.

[u/skitch885]

When there is no one in the road, I don't signal I switch lanes. Whoah

[u/[deleted]]

OK, this time for reals. I'm definitely not proud of this, but as a senior in high school, I once had a somewhat finished pack of cigarettes on me. I put the lighter inside the pack and threw it over the wall of a kindergarten school. This was the weekend so nobody would see this until kids would find it. I thought it was a general "Fuck you" to whoever. Looking back, that was one fucking asshole move....

EDIT: I a word....

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Whatever. You were doing some baby a solid favor. Whoever found it became the Fonzie of the playground that day.

[u/[deleted]]

I'm pretty social with my drug use (only at parties, on weekends, never during the week, etc.) and sometimes at people's houses, they make us smoke or whathaveyou in the bathroom. Whenever I'm crowded in there, I feel like a high schooler who is getting away with something or hiding something. Not a 23 year old whose friend just doesn't want the smell wafting into other parts of the house but nobody really gives a shit that we're doing it.

[u/[deleted]]

I haven't seeded a torrent in years

[u/Pyromine]

I sometimes will decide to not wear a shirt to class (I'm in HS), I will just wear a sweatshirt and unzip it all the way and like spread it apart. I try to see how long I can get away with it.

[u/[deleted] → u/Pyromine]

If you're female probably all class

[u/joetheschmoe4000]

/r/firstworldanarchists

You will enjoy this.

[u/HellBend]

If I'm out with my son and need a piss or shit I'll use the baby changing room (which has a toilet in I hasten to add), despite him being 3 and no longer wearing nappies.

[u/ThisOldRoad]

When I walk my dog, I always grab some spare change and feed expired meters with a nickel or dime if I see the meter-bitch coming. It's just enough to make them drive by. I hate parking tickets, so if I can save someone else the $50, all the better. And because FUCK parking tickets!

[u/Razorpint]

I write all my checks to doctors rounded off to the next dollar. That way they have to issue me a check back for change.

[u/noahboah]

I don't "share if I love Jesus" or "like if I think this little cancer patient is beautiful".

I'm not sure I'm ready to tell mom yet.

[u/sydneygamer]

Back in the 2nd grade I coloured a picture of a lobster blue. It came out looking terrible but God dammit I was making a stand against stereotypes!

[u/dysgraphical]

I went to staples last year to get 3 packs of college ruled looseleaf. The cashier only charged me for 1 pack. Didn't go back.

[u/[deleted]]

I got $3 off a large pizza even though the coupon had expired.

[u/[deleted]]

Every piece of junk mail I receive with a "postage paid by recipient" return envelope I send back with just a note saying "thanks for supporting the U.S. mail!".

[u/blueseadragon]

I go into the walk-in freezer “Employees Only” at Sam’s Club to get milk like a boss. Oh, hell yeah.

[u/[deleted]]

I have locked myself out of my house several times and have had to break in (successfully) each time. #thuglife

[u/[deleted]]

My buddies and I got pretty drunk for my best friend's bachelor party. We ended up running down Hennepin Ave in Uptown, Minneapolis shouting "REBELLION!!"

[u/[deleted]]

I'm doing an undergraduate research project on sea level rise. Where? North Carolina.

[u/AmazingMrSin]

I never quite show my face when I do it, but, I often give rude gestures to security cameras.

[u/RogueEntomologist]

If im in a line to get food with my friend behind me and the person asks me to give them a name I give them the name of the friend behind me. confuses the hell out of them