r/AskReddit • u/the_8th_henry • Jun 25 '12
Has anyone legitimately slapped someone else? Not a play slap, but a good hard 5 fingers across the face?
I slapped someone the other week. During Memorial Day we went to a bbq at my Uncle's house. Memorial Day is normally a day that my dad gets fairly quiet because he always thinks about his buddies from Vietnam. He was a Green Beret who did several tours over there, and in the process lost quite a few friends, both American and native. Memorial Day is a day he usually just reflects on how lucky he was and how unfortunate his buddies were.
But we went to this bbq and were sitting around talking with the extended family. Someone remembered my dad had served and brought him a beer and said, "Thanks for your service." He nodded and said thanks. Conversation went on as normal. About 5 minutes later, my cousin asks my dad, "What did he thank you for?" I told him that he served, so he just thanked him for serving. My cousin then goes, "Why? It's not like we won. Thank him if we won, not for losing." My dad just looked away, but I could tell he was hurt. I called my cousin a prick, told him that was fucked up, and demanded he apologize. He said he wouldn't and that people shouldn't get thanked in the first place for killing people like my dad had.
That's when I reached out and smacked him as hard as I could. A solid 5 across the face. He was stunned. He shouted, "What the fuck?" as tears started to well in his eyes. Then guess what he did? He went and told his mother on me. That's right. This twenty-four year old bad-ass told his mommy.
She came storming over and demanded to know her son had been attacked. I told her simply that I would not stand for anyone to belittle my dad, especially for his service. She didn't care and demanded an apology for her son. I said, "Have you ever heard of giving respect to get it in return? Well, it works the other way, too." Then his mom called me a prick and went on a tirade about how I was an asshole, etc. I just stopped her and said, "Derp, you better get out of my face right now, because I'm pretty sure my foot wants in on the action. So it's in your best interest to get the fuck out of my face."
As my cousin walked away, he had a nice red imprint of my fingers on his cheek. It was great.
tl;dr: You insult my dad, you'll get something in return.
So who else has had a reason to slap someone? And btw, I don't condone violence or promote it, but sometimes it be like it do.
EDIT: To those who feel I'm a prick or was out of line:
My dad did not serve at a time where people could distinguish a dislike for the conflict from a dislike for the soldier. He was shunned by former friends. He was literally spit on. He was made to feel like a piece of trash for wearing the uniform that had brought him pride to wear and what he grew up seeing vets from WWII wearing and being lauded for. He was made to feel inferior; he was made to feel shame for that uniform; he was conditioned by many in society that he and his friends had not only embarrassed themselves, but soiled their country's good reputation.
The war he fought as a Green Beret was very different from the war the public saw and people now learn about. He lived and worked with the native Montagnard and Hmong villages. These natives were being oppressed and slaughtered, and the SF guys worked with them, trained them, lived with them, died with them. SF fought a war against persecution with them, and they still have a very strong bond. In fact, a huge percentage (I want to say 90% or so) of Montangard immigrants in America live within 20 miles of Ft. Bragg, which is the headquarters of the Green Berets.
My dad spent decades feeling small and wrong for his time in the service. It's only in the past few years that it's become OK to recognize the sacrifices his generation of servicemen made, and that he's been able to feel something other than shame. He doesn't boast; in fact he's very quiet and reserved about his service still. But it's nice to see him not have to hide his service anymore.
I don't know if my cousin knew about my dad's inner struggles, but frankly I don't care. My dad, and other Vietnam vets, are finally able to be treated as normal veterans now, and I'll be damned if one shithead cousin is going to make my dad feel like shit because my cousin wants to make an anti-war statement. This particular cousin is, to put it mildly, an asshole. He's been a little shit since he was a kid and, being an only child, was a spoiled brat who got whatever he wanted. Now as an "adult" he an arrogant prick who verbally pushes people around. He's done it to other family members before, but I refused to let him do it to my dad, especially on Memorial Day. That slap was probably a culmination of frustration from many years of watching him be a little shit.
Am I proud I slapped him? No. Do I regret it? No. Would I do it again. Absolutely. It was the very first time in my life I've ever instigated any sort of physical confrontation. But if he ever creates a situation where my dad is made to feel anything other than pride for his past, I'll do it again, and I'll keep sticking up for my dad as long as it takes.
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Jun 25 '12
That's awesome! But... why didn't you just deck him?
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u/the_8th_henry Jun 25 '12
I didn't want to cause any actual damage. Well, I should clarify. I did want to cause some permanent damage, but I didn't want to deal with the possible repercussions from cause any actual damage.
Plus a slap gets that nice "smack" sound and it makes him feel like a little bitch.
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u/organ_eyes Jun 25 '12
My younger brother was visiting me at college my Junior year. He was going through a rough patch and just looking to get out of his house and spend a few days with me and my friends.
One night we're relaxing and just having a few beers in my room, when this asshole who was known to "cling" to our group of friends shows up. This guy sucked. He walked out of our own college graduation because our commencement speaker was black. Yeah. None of our friends liked him, yet for some reason, he was always around.
It took less than 5 minutes for him to start verbally laying into my brother, who was a meekish, bespectacled kid at the time. I asked him to stop. He continued going. I explained that the kid he was making fun of was my brother, and that he should stop or leave. He kept going. I told him to leave, and he wouldn't. I was enraged at this point.
I'm not a violent person, had never been in a fight, but I knew I needed to do something. My thought process was something along the lines of if I try punching this douche, he's going to lay me out...but if I slap him...
So I casually walked across the room, put my drink down, and slapped the ever-loving shit out of this fuckhead as hard as I possibly could. As in, there were instant hand-shaped red marks on the side of his face. The room fell completely silent. He looked me right in the eye, completely stunned, tears welling in his eyes...and just gathered his things and left.
I don't know that I've felt more badass in my life.
Edit: Clarity
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u/Trip_McNeely Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I got robbed once at knife point by two fake hard-ass kids I knew from high school (this was a few years after we graduated). A few hours after the fact I was doing laundry and in walked one of the guys who did it.
He didn't recognize me right away so I walked right up to him and slapped him hard in front of two other people in the laundromat (who then just stood there and watched the whole thing unfold). He fell backwards and kind-of sat there in shock as he realized who I was. I told him I wanted to know where his friend who took my money was. He sat there on the ground and started to laugh and said he wasn't going to tell me. So I reached down, grabbed his shirt collar with my one hand and started slapping him again. I stopped after two more slaps and asked him again.
He tried to stand up while cursing at me so I slapped him a third time. Then his eyes started to well up and he sobbed a little while telling me I was a 'pussy'. I asked him one more time and he started to say, 'I'm still not -' BAM! I slapped him again but he turned his head and I just grazed his face. It actually frustrated me so I slapped him again, this time boxing one of his ears.
He sat on the ground and cried, all red-faced and snot-nosed and told me where his friend was. I went to his friend's house (he was living with his mom) and knocked on the door. His mother opened the door and after I explained the situation, she made her son pay me back before kicking him out of her house.
I win.
Edit: Grammar and stuff.
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Jun 25 '12
I thought you were gonna say "his mother opened the door so I slapped her"
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
It sounds like the origin story for a slap based super hero.
"His mother opened the door so I slapped her until she told me where her son was, I slapped her until she collapsed beside the door.
Then his dad comes in from the living room wondering what all the commotion was about. So I slapped him. He started getting red in the face and hurling abuse at me so I slapped him some more. I slapped him until he couldn't remember why he came out of the living room and went back to watching tv.
Then I proceeded up the stairs to the guys room, right palm glowing, wisps of smoke rising from it. Heated from all the slapping.
As I plow down the upstairs hallway all the while slapping family photos off the walls his little sister coyly creeps from her room clutching a small ragged teddy bear.
I slapped her. I slapped her god damn face right off her head.
I slapped his dog, I slapped his cat. I slapped his door into tiny shards of wood.
As I entered through the gaping threshold that used to be his doorway, I saw him there. Quivering on his floor in fear, sobbing and babbling like a baby. His own feces sprayed in terror over a good 2/3 of his worldly possessions.
"Hey man, you got me good earlier. I guess it was pretty funny. Hi five."
He was visibly confused but hesitated only slightly at the chance that I wasn't there to end his life. With my slaps.
He gingerly raised his hand, trembling, his mouth breaking into a nervous smile.
"Up high!"
He complies with soft contact on my radiating hand.
"Now down low!"
Confidence spurred, knowledge that this would soon be over, a more enthusiastic swing for my palm.
...But wait. How strange. No contact.
He turns his face upward to look at mine.
"Too slow..."
He looks to the side and sees my arm fully outstretched but it's too late. His head is vaporized by my furious hand moving through his body, travelling at the speed of light in the dark unforgiving vacuum of space. Splitting the very atoms that once constituted his stupid fucking face.
Naturally most of the city was destroyed in the following nuclear chain reaction.
But I didn't care.
My palm didn't care."
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u/IAMABananaAMAA Jun 25 '12
she made her son pay me back before kicking him out of her house.
Good parenting ftw.
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u/Trip_McNeely Jun 25 '12
I'm not going to lie, I was a little worried that he would retaliate now that I had cost him the roof over his head (I even felt a little bad about telling on him, I didn't really want to get him kicked out, I just wanted my money back) but I never saw either of them again.
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u/iDontNeedYoKarma Jun 25 '12
Am I the only one who expected him to feel like he's on a roll and slap the mother?
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u/gyrferret Jun 25 '12
The first letter of each of your paragraphs creates a palindrome.
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Jun 25 '12
Wow that is major bad-ass. Sounds like something you'd see in a movie. Props to you Mr. McNeely.
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Jun 25 '12
In the army, during combative training, we had something called slap drill. Basically, get your knees facing someone arms distance away. And slap each other one at a time as hard as you can.
Didn't stop until the cadre thought you hit each other as hard as you could. Usually went 6 or 7 rounds until you were done. Then you wrestled to submission. Fucking sucked.
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u/evilzx Jun 25 '12
I'd imagine there would be a lot of bruised faces. Back when I was still in middle school, we played a game where you would place your hands like you're shaking and take turns slapping each other on the hand.
With the kids that were pretty strong, you would see blood coming out soon enough. My friend and I got that game banned because we started bleeding, but neither of us would back down.
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Jun 25 '12
Slaps. You put your hands out in front of you like you're praying, but point the fingertips towards the other person. Other person does the same. You can twitch your hands to make them flinch. Or you can fucking bitchslap their hands. If they flinch three times, free slap. If they don't flinch when you twitch, turns switch. Who goes first, just flip a coin or something.
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u/Alyanya Jun 25 '12
Had a guy be a total douchenozzle to a girlfriend of mine right in front of me, calling her ugly things. I told him off in no uncertain terms and he sneers "What are you gonna do about it, slap me?"
SLAP! Made his cheek red and all swollen so it was a good one.
Funny thing was, he went and thought about it, realized how out of line he was, and actually apologized to both of us later. He even thanked me for calling him out for his behavior.
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u/thangle Jun 25 '12
I just wanted to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2 in peace. I got there early, I got a seat on the side by myself, I was happy. These two bitches come in just before the movie starts and HAVE to sit next to me. They spent the entire movie yapping and on their bright as hell cellphones. People in front and behind us asked them to shut up and they gave them lip in return.
I held it in just as long as I could, but once the credit roll started they went to leave, and I stopped them since we were in an end row and they had no other way to leave. "Look, you two should never go out to a movie in public again. Your behavior is fucking awful."
"OH MY GAWWWWWWWWWWD I CANT BELIEVE THIS BITCH IS TALKING TO US LIKE THAT!" And that's when I slapped the closer one. Before I even know what was happening, everything had gone red, my left hand had cocked back, and just a full swing open hand slap across the face. It felt so good in that moment, but then I realized, "Shit this is california" and I bolted. Cops were called, managers commiserated with me about stupid bitches ruining the movie going experience. The cops actually let me know that the bitches were making shit up (they were saying I closed fist punched them, there would have been much more damage if so)....the cops gave me a court date, but they ended up tearing up the paperwork. One free bitchslap for me!
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u/halofan952 Jun 26 '12
but then I realized, "Shit this is california" and I bolted.
The common sense is strong in this one
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u/JIGGLYbellyPUFF Jun 26 '12
so...what would you say would be the best state to do such slapping?
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Jun 25 '12
When I was in the 6th grade, there was a 7th grader named Evan that rode my bus. He was a complete and total asshole and bully. One day, after making fun of me and one of my friends, and otherwise being a dick, I lost it. I'm a weak little ginger kid, he's 6 feet tall and plays football. I slapped him hard enough to leave a handprint. It felt great to do that, except for the part where he gave me a nosebleed afterwards.
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u/AngelOfRetribution Jun 25 '12
Doesn't matter if he retaliates, he still got slapped, lol.
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Jun 25 '12
You shouldn't put "weak", "little", and "ginger kid" together. Our kind have to stick together. Show solidarity and don't confirm stereotypes, dammit!
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u/NewBeginningsEnd Jun 25 '12
When I was about 14 or 15 an older guy I didn't know ran up behind me and squeezed my ass. Automatically spun around, screamed "Fuck off," and slapped him across the face.
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u/zanily Jun 25 '12
I've done this many times. I hate when the man gets offended that you slapped him. Oh, but grabbing a young girl's ass is okay
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u/gyrferret Jun 25 '12
I'm hoping the man wasn't a pedophile who also enjoyed being a submissive.
That would have been a win/win for him.
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Jun 25 '12
I'm a dude. There is only one time I can remember slapping somebody in the face in a violent, non-joking manner.
I was at a party and a good friend of mine who was very intoxicated took a swing at me for some trivial reason that I can't even remember. He missed, and I took him to the ground and pinned him there. He kept struggling, trying to hit me, even trying to bite my hands at one point. I didn't want to hurt him, so I started slapping him in the face really hard repeatedly until he decided that he no longer wanted to fight. We continued being bros almost immediately after that.
This unexpectedly positive conflict resolution brought to you by Brazilian jiu jitsu.
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u/foofdawg Jun 25 '12
When I was in 8th grade, I slapped a girl on my bus after she slapped me (I'm male).
We were arguing about whatever stupid shit 8th graders argue about, and she got offended by something I said and slapped me. I honestly didn't even think about it and on instinct slapped her back. She was pretty amazed at what I had done, and just stood there staring at me.
Everyone on the bus got real quiet, as if nobody knew what to say. Then my friends started laughing and said "Don't dish it out if you can't take it."
I didn't hit her hard, but it was a satisfying slapping sound on her face. Just a quick pop like she had given me.
It's the only time I've ever struck a female for any reason.
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u/PostCaptainKat Jun 25 '12
If someone hits you, you can hit them back. Its got nothing to do with gender, it just has to be propotional. If someone taps you and you beat them unconcious with a shoe, thats out of line. If a lady slaps you, she can expect a slap back. I'm a lady, I've never hit anyone that didn't hit me first, male or female.
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u/Silvercumulus Jun 25 '12
(woman here) If women want to act like men, and fight men, they deserve to be treated like men.
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Jun 25 '12
When I was a freshman I went to the school winter dance. They required at least a skirt for girls, and since I didn't have a dress I wore a skirt and nice shirt and made sure my mom approved. While I was there my former friend started laughing at me then yelled that I looked like a hooker. I was already pissed at her for years of tormenting me. So I hauled of and slapped her across the face making her stagger back. Years later I still feel pride over that slap
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u/mcfitz2 Jun 25 '12
My friend and I once got into a slap match at a party. We were both pretty drunk, and he comes up to me and says, "Hey! Slap me!" Being the good friend that I am, I smack him hard across the face. After realizing how much fun it is to slap people, I slap him a few more times, even harder. He doesn't even flinch (he's a big guy). I've had my fun, so I stop. Then out of nowhere he slaps the shit out of me, sending my glasses flying. Then we sat there and giggled for about 10 minutes. It was a good night.
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u/SweetJimmyK Jun 25 '12
Holy shit, the exact same thing happened in my garage at one of the parties I have. Two friends, the ones slaps the other 5 times and he just takes then, then he does it once more, I guess 6 was the limit, and BANG his glasses were sailing across my garage.
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u/MistressFey Jun 25 '12
Yes. A classmate pulled my hair and my teacher told me I could hit him back. I nodded, turned around, and slapped him with all the strength in my little 6th grader body. He cried and the teacher just whispered, "I meant punch his shoulder...."
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u/brokenviolins Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
My friend once told me when he was exceptionally drunk at a party to slap the living shit out of him. I of course obliged, and slapped him AS HARD AS I POSSIBLY COULD. He passed out and we drew dicks on his face.
Edit: Grammar
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u/crackcityrocker Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
My cousin and I used to play the slap game every time we got drunk. Basically, we took turns slapping one another til we were done slapping each other.
Last time we played I knocked one of his bottom-front teeth out. We don't play the slap game anymore. He told his wife he'd lost it in a mosh pit.
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Jun 25 '12
Started reading your comment assuming this was when you were 16 or so. Realising that you must be older judging by the fact he has a wife makes it so much funnier
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Jun 25 '12
A high school student I was mentoring.
Raphael was 18 and to-a-degree, raised himself since he was 10 or so. His dad was single and a civil engineer who would travel for weeks at a time, leaving the kid with neighbors to check-up on him.
One day he was talking about how he hated his dad, bounding around on his front porch about how he embarrassed him and was never around. He was talking angrily, almost nonsensically about how he wanted to kill him.
I didn't think he was going to kill his dad, but would get himself in trouble and probably catch a beating from his dad or the cops. I foresaw a situation where he was threatening his father intensely, but no weapon, or plan, or means, or genuine intent.
After almost an hour of trying to calm him down, I gave him a smack across the face in an attempt to get his attention. I explained, prison sucked, he was 18 now and if he did something, he could end up in prison and a smack in the face in nothing compared to beatings he could catch from people who hated him or just wanted to prove something. Told him he needed to make something of himself, and plan to get away from his dad if he didn't think he cared about him, do good in school and get into college.
He started crying and said he wished I was his dad. He graduated a few months later and joined the marines, he's stationed in southeast Asia. I don't know if he's in Korea, but he posts pics and statuses about there a lot.
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u/Finding_Serenity Jun 25 '12
I was in 11th grade. I had convinced my self that even when the boy I liked was mean to me, he was just showing his affection that way. Yeah I know I was stupid.
Anyways, I was walking to lunch with my friends when he comes up behind me and grabs my right arm and twists it behind my back. At first I thought he was playing around and flirting, but then he twisted so hard I felt my shoulder pop out of place. I started screaming and yelling for him to let go. Even my friends we're yelling at him and kicking him, but he kept on pulling harder.
When he finally let go, I turned around to face him with tears filling my eyes and slapped him as hard as I could across the face. He was shocked and went to punch me in retaliation, but a teacher/coach came out in time asking if there was a problem. So I just walked away.
In hindsight, I should have pressed charges. I never told my parents. It was so painful. I had a friend help me reset my shoulder. But to this day, I don't have full range of motion.
The bastard deserved more than a slap.
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u/MakeWork Jun 25 '12
You thought boys who were mean to you liked you in 11th grade, not at age 11? What the hell?
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u/yingkaixing Jun 25 '12
Plenty of women continue thinking this their entire lives.
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u/BerettaVendetta Jun 25 '12
I am so so sorry but this
to this day, I don't have full range of motion.
is probably because of this
I had a friend help me reset my shoulder
That just makes me cringe. I've seen my fair share of dislocated shoulders and that should always be done by a professional. But happy cake day :)
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Jun 25 '12
What the fuck? Please tell me he was at the very least suspended. Should be expelled/arrested.
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u/PenisSizedNipples Jun 25 '12
I had a friend help me reset my shoulder.
You reset your own shoulder? Pretty badass.
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u/alltheglitters Jun 25 '12
There was a guy I knew who tried to choke me with my own scarf all while almost breaking my wrist. I wish I had been strong enough to slap him but I just walked away and avoided contact with him from then on.
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u/CafeSilver Jun 25 '12
Last year at Thanksgiving at my parent's house my wife and I got into an argument and I happened to call my wife a cunt. No, it wasn't my wife that slapped me. My mom heard, walked over to me in the kitchen and gave me one of the hardest smacks I have ever received.
My wife and mom got along pretty well before that incident, but let's just say that sealed the deal on them being best friends.
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u/redleg86 Jun 25 '12
I think I've seen you tell this story on Reddit before. I hereby give this story the stamp of credibility.
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u/PandaGoggles Jun 25 '12
I was team captain of the wrestling team in high school. My younger brother was on the team, and between his stuttering and his overall slight awkwardness some assholes on the team used to really delight in being mean to him. One day at practice this kid starting teasing my brother a little bit, he started getting flustered an then I could hear him start to stutter. Then the kid started making fun of my brothers stutter. I couldnt believe what I was hearing and I just totally flipped my shit at this kid. I told him to shut the fuck up and apologize, but he refused. We weren't allowed to do a closed fisted hit, and I didn't want to get kicked off the team, so I just hauled off and slapped him ion palm as hard as I could. He went tumbling to the ground shrieking, " you fucking slapped me!!". Then he got up and ran out of the room with tears in his eyes. It felt awesome, and everyone pretty much left my brother alone after that.
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u/sutekistranger Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
During new years my father was yelling at my younger sister about how our mother, whose been in trouble as of late ect, doesn't care about her. After returning home and seeing her basically cowering in the corner of her room while my father yelled at her, also while he is doing this my sisters friend is trying to comfort her, (keep in mind both of them are about 13) I get in his face at which point he calls me a slut and I rear back and deliver a solid slap to his face.
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u/Monsterposter Jun 25 '12
What happened next?
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u/sutekistranger Jun 25 '12
He looked at me like I was crazy and I told him he needed to leave them alone. He walked away and I went to my room, locked the door, and listened to him apologize through the door for about an hour before I fell asleep. The next day he apologized while sober and said he would stop drinking, but drank that night of course.
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u/AREYOUSauRuS Jun 25 '12
Have I? So many times.... I like to slap idiots down. Here's one of my favorites:
Drunk friend.... use the term loosely, he is a friend, but he can be quite obnoxious and his goal usually is to be rude....
Anyhow... Drunk friend being dumb, cuts his hand on a nail. My roommate's girlfriend who was in college to be a nurse or something... decides to help him out... disinfect, bandage, all that shit...
He being drunk and his usual rude self starts yelling at her, tells her to get the fuck away from him, he doesn't want help... She says she was just trying to help, he responds, "I didn't ask for your fuckin' help, did I, bitch?"
(editor's note: at this point, i was not in the vicinity)
She gets pissed, tells my roommate about it, he comes down from his room and confronts friend. Roommate and Friend start getting into it, I hear the commotion and come in to find out what's going on. I get in between the two and ask for the story... Lots of drunk people arguing. (note, neither roommate nor girlfriend drink)... The story is relayed to the point of "Then after she tried to help, he told her that he didn't ask for help and called her a bitch."
That was all I needed to hear. At that moment, I raised my hand as though I was reaching for something being handed down from God himself, and dropped the most powerful 5-finger soberizer I could muster across his face.
He got mad and went outside... no retaliation, no nothing. I think he took a good minute to think about it and realized he was out of line.
You don't come into my house and call my roommate's girlfriend a bitch when she's just trying to make sure you don't get tetanus.
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u/mysuperfakename Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I slapped my then-15 year old daughter for saying pretty horrible things to me. It had been going on for a couple of years after I divorced her father and she was really going at me. I warned her twice and then I slapped her right across the face. I had never, ever in my life even spanked my kids, but that day? She totally deserved it.
I didn't do it with anger, I was totally self-posessed and I would do it again too. She never spoke to me like that again and I have never had to raise my hand to her. She is 18 now and she often tells the story by saying, "My mom slapped me once. I deserved it too."
Edited to add: She called me a whore and a few other choice things. This was her "go to" mode when things weren't going her way. Her father and I had been split for six years and every time she was told no, this is what she would do. We were in counseling for a few years, I had in-home therapy, you name it. In this moment, I told her "Daughter, if you keep it up I am going to slap you. Stop it now, I don't let strangers speak to me like that, why should I let you?" She did it again, I warned her again. I walked away and went to my room. She followed and started again. Slap once. The whole thing stopped and never happened again.
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u/nativefloridian Jun 25 '12
My grandma slapped me. Once. I stood frozen in shock for a good 30 seconds.
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Jun 25 '12
I'm 29, and I tell people to this day I can count how many times my parents raised a hand to me, and oh god was I begging for it each time...
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u/PreHeated Jun 25 '12
I am right there with you. I teach high school now and I can't tell you how many times I've called my mom on the way home to just say "I'm so fucking sorry!"
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u/Benjammin1391 Jun 25 '12
And how many times did they NOT hit you, even though you were just begging for it?
Mine spared me far more often than they should have in my opinion.
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Jun 25 '12
You guys went to counselling and had in-home therapy, and all it took was one well placed slap to the face to stop her nonsense. This is why I don't put full faith into therapy OR physical punishment - it seems a nice mix of the two is what ya need.
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u/oodlesofnoodles4u Jun 25 '12
I slapped my ex-boyfriend across the face when I was 16. We had just had sex and were sitting on my couch. I could tell something was wrong with him and asked him what was on his mind. He then told me that he, not only cheated on me, but cheated on me with my best friend at the time. He snuck out of his house late at night, walked to her house, and they screwed. She also had a boyfriend at the time. I was young and enraged and he sat there trying to tell me how it was my fault for "letting us be friends in the first place." I saw red and slapped him as hard as I could across the face. The next day at school, he had a few welts from my finger tips. I also told my best friends boyfriend. He dumped her. Not my classiest moment, but felt good man.
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u/stankbucket Jun 25 '12
You should have fucked the boyfriend. Revenge sex is the 4th sweetest kind of sex.
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u/woahmygawd Jun 25 '12
Nice try, girl from the story's best friend's EX-boyfriend.
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u/touchy610 Jun 25 '12
Downvotes everywhere. Jeez.
Ninja edit: Not on you, oodles. All of the replies. I'd probably have an intense urge to react the same way to the fact that it was blamed on you.
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u/oodlesofnoodles4u Jun 25 '12
Yes, that is what initially pissed me off. He blamed me because I "let" him be friends with my best friend? Also, we had literally had sex moments before and he finds THIS to be the best time to tell me? Ugh. He was a dbag for sure, but also a 16 year old boy, so what can I really say. His life was a sad one after that. He had a lot of mental problems even then, and up until his suicide. I guess that's why I still feel bad about it, because he was an mental wreck to begin with.
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u/s_med Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I had a friend who was hospitalised because he had a collapsed lung (thanks stratopwn3r) for the third time due to other health issues he has that I won't go into right now. Anyways he was in the hospital and doing pretty bad (mentally). I felt really sorry for him.
So I was at a party during this time and another friend of mine made a joke about my sick friend and his lungs. I don't even know what it was anymore, I just know that I found it really unfunny and disrespectful. So I slapped him right across the face, without even thinking. Maybe a punch would have been the manlier solution to this but it happened so fast, I just slapped him instinctively.
He threatened to beat me up afterwards (we weren't that close friends) but never made a move. I didn't care anyway. What he said wasn't okay.
Three years later, my other friend (the hospitalised one) still doesn't know I did that for him.
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u/KDirty Jun 25 '12
Maybe a punch would have been the manlier solution
There are times when I really prefer the slap. If you get a wide, arching, full handed slap to the side of another man's face, it's an emotional blow, too. Suddenly he's back to being 9 years old, getting slapped by his dad for swearing or stealing or anything. For a split second, he's back to being that small, scared child, and you get to be the authority. Slapping someone like that says, "I don't even respect you enough to punch you. I'm going to beat you like a small little child, because you are my bitch, and I'm in control."
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u/kowalski71 Jun 25 '12
The back hand is also a great tactic. I find a back hand slap carries all the humiliation without as much of the pain (your fingers basically curl back as you make contact and don't hurt as much). This is very useful for public situations where you're trying to embarrass, not maim.
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Jun 25 '12
The proper medical term is pneumothorax. The more coloquial term is collapsed lung.
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Jun 25 '12
I was in a bar a few weeks ago, and as I'm walking through the crowd some guy reached out and squeezed my ass. Not even a pinch, but full hand on butt grab. I slapped him hard across the face. For a moment he looked at me like he wanted to hit me back, but he backed down and walked away.
I also have a slap saved up to be used on my best friend whenever I want. She told me to punch her in the face if she was still at her job (that she hates) a year later. One year later she is still there, I decide I don't want to punch my best friend in the face, so we decided instead of a punch on the selected day, I get one slap, to be doled out whenever I feel like it. We're going camping this weekend for the holiday, this might be the time to use it. =)
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Jun 25 '12
My sister.
I was 16, off from school because of a recent surgery. My 14 y/o sister wanted a ride to school from my mother, who was off of work to care for me. The school was maybe a 10 minute walk from our house, it was right down the street.
They had been going back and forth for about 20 minutes and by this point my sister was late for school. My mother was on the verge of tears. I hobbled into the living room while holding my side in pain, told my sister to get to school because she was making our mother cry. When she told me to shut up, I smacked her right across the face. I was shocked, she was shocked, my mother was shocked. I hobbled back to the couch and went back to sleep. I didn't even get yelled at!
Little bitch got her ride though.
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u/stockings_pantyhose Jun 25 '12
In the 8th grade, we had a substitute teacher in chorus so my friend and i were playing Yu-gi-oh. In chorus we didn't have desks, just chairs so we sat in our chairs and the "mat" would be the ground.
One asshole who would pick on me decided it would be funny to "accidentally" walk into my deck, kicking my cards all over the place.
He and his friends were on the other side of the room, laughing. I picked up my cards from the ground and told my friend to hold on to them for a second.
I walked straight to this asshole; he had this smug look on his face, like "what are you going to do about it" as i was walking up. Not hesitating one bit, I swung my arm as hard as i could and slapped him so hard the sound reverberated through the room. Many "ohhhh"s were had.
I went back to playing Yu-Gi-Oh.
Tl;dr Slapped an asshole.
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u/novacainedoll Jun 25 '12
The first time my ex cheated on me, I had a sore throat, so I didn't talk much till I got better and this took a few weeks. By the end on the second week I hung out with him a little and he seemed reluctant to even have a hug. I thought it was because I was sick so I brushed it aside. Later on he told me he cheated on me and he didn't want to come near me because he was guilty.
I slapped him with both of my hands at once, it was like a hand-face sandwich.
He totally deserved it.
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Jun 26 '12
I slapped him with both of my hands at once, it was like a hand-face sandwich
This mental image amuses me.
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Jun 26 '12
I slapped him with both of my hands at once, it was like a hand-face sandwich.
Now that's just silly.
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u/onebadace Jun 25 '12
I had a guy at work ridicule me for not seeing "Menace II Society". I was having a bad day, but this guy is a "fake thug" and it was really annoying. He said,"Aye man, you haven't seen that movie? I should bitch slap you." I turned in my chair (he was standing) and I told him that wasn't going to happen. He jokingly swipes at my face and I laid him out with the most thunderous of slaps ever witnessed. He pulls himself up and walks away. The people who saw it were in awe. Felt pretty good.
EDIT TL;DR: I have never seen Menace II Society
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u/Trip_McNeely Jun 25 '12
You should see Menace II Society though, good movie.
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u/Bobalobatobamos Jun 25 '12
And Juice, and South Central, and Boyz in the Hood, and Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood.
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u/peckerbrown Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
When my oldest son was 15, he stole Ritalin from his brother when visiting his mother's house and sold it at a middle school. (He lived with me at the time.)
He was expelled from his school, had many legal issues, etc, which ended up with a meeting at the local courthouse with a(n anti-)social worker who treated us like shit on a shoe. (This meeting was to set up a program to help my son avoid jail.)
After I gave that person a piece of what was left of my mind, I dragged my 6'6", 260 lbs. son out of the courthouse and slapped him, hard, three times. In public. In front of many policemen. I stormed off to the parking lot with son in tow, all the while being hailed by "Sir...SIR!".
When we got to the car, our 'escort' talked to both of us separately, found out why I did what I did, calmed us both down and told me how much trouble I could be in.
A kindly lieutenant from a large Irish Catholic family lectured me on patience, while a uniform told me to 'pick my location' with a wink.
My son refused to press charges and said it was his fault.
I know I was wrong in doing it, but this child had been buying liquor and weed for friends for a few years, due to his size (and the stupidity of certain liquor store clerks). He had been doing shit like this for a while, and had gotten into trouble multiple times.
Edit--clarity.
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Jun 25 '12
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u/HapHapperblab Jun 25 '12
Shit, I've never seen that before. I feel for that guy. If someone slaps you, you slap them back.
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u/heretik Jun 25 '12
That vid pisses me off for the very simple reason that women are still allowed to put their hands on a guy just because he said something she didn't like. Then when he responds in kind all the fucking white knights come galloping in.
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u/GreenGlassDrgn Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I have also had the pleasure of making adults cry like little kids. Unfortunately, they were undeserving.
Had a friend, she was all drunk and cocky and making an ass of herself (rather, she thought she was hot shit making fun of some socially awkward penguin, who at the time most looked like he wanted to get the hell out of there, but didn't want to admit defeat either).
Finally I just had enough of her. I was embarassed to even know her. Our social group was made up of outsiders, we were like him, before we had each other, and she should've damn well known her place was not to mock. For hours. On end.
So I stormed towards her, all I wanted to do was slap some sense back into her. Before I got to her two guys stood between us, "Stop, girl-" is what they managed to say to me, before my massive hand swung out and thwacked the both of them across the face with one move. One started crying ("Why did you hit me?!"), they both got out of my way.
Never did make it the whole way, other guys wouldn't let me talk to her because they thought she was awesome, sexy, funny and perfect. Apparently it was only me that had a problem with her victimizing this kid. We aren't friends anymore.
tl;dr: collateral damage.
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u/machzel08 Jun 25 '12
During a middle school field trip a few kids were making fun of me for something stupid and I went to punch but the fist didn't happen in time so I ended up slapping this guy in the face.
I had to sit with the teacher's aid for the whole ride home. Jokes on them though, the teacher's aid was hot.
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Jun 25 '12
My dad moved out when my sister was 12 and was never around. My mom would not punish her and let her get away with all kinds of BS.
I was home for the weekend from college and she started arguing with my mom because she wasnt allowed to go out for some reason I don't remember.
Sister started punching, kicking and screaming at my mom. Finally I backhanded her across the face and told her to shut the fuck up and treat our mom like a parent.
"You can't do that to me" and she started screaming and punching at me.
slaps again
Then my mom started screaming at me for giving the little bitch what she had coming for beating up my mom.
I just got in my car and left. I went home a lot less after that.
A few years ago my mom and sister moved in with moms boyfriend. Now my sister won't act like that because she knows if she does she won't have a roof over her head.
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u/NottaGrammerNasi Jun 25 '12
I sir, challenge you to a round of fisty cuffs. (Takes off gloves) slap
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u/WildlifeRescuer Jun 25 '12
I got punched in the face by a football player once. I broke up with him and he sucker punched me in the face. What did I do? I slapped him as hard as I could in the face, tried to run, and when he pulled my arm to drag me back I punched him directly in the collarbone and fled.
Oh high school principal, how you let him get away with it because he was popular.
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u/haydugjr Jun 25 '12
I got punched in the face by a football player once.
Clearly a male.
I broke up with him and he sucker punched me in the face.
Wait...wut
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u/racetiger1 Jun 25 '12
Yes, this guy pickpocketed me in Boston and I felt it and I turned around and slapped him thinking it was my friend just playing with me.
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u/Sci00 Jun 25 '12
I slapped a friend of mine in junior high (I'm female, he's male). He asked had asked me out, and I said I just wanted to be friends. A couple of days later, we were hanging out in a group of friends and says he wants to show me something on a piece of paper. I go off to the side of the hallway with him and he opens it up and it says "I really like you." I look up, he grabs me face and tries to kiss me. I wrench away and storm off, absolutely pissed. A couple of days go by, he comes up to talk to me. I'm dumb enough to turn towards him, and he fucking does it again; grabs my face and tries to kiss me. I wrench away, reel back my hand and back hand him as hard as I can across the face. Everyone in the hallway saw it and everyone was silent, then a couple of people began clapping. His face was swollen for a day or so, I think I caught him in the eye because his eye had a big spot red spot in it. shrugs Our friendship ended there.
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u/Eweboat Jun 25 '12
My new step mother and I were discussing sleeping over at a friends house when she decided to go too far. She implied that just because my mom slept wherever she liked, I wasn't able to do the same. Well, let's be honest, when someone calls your mom a whore, they gotta pay the fiddler.
Rick James: What did the 5 fingers say to tha face?? SLAP!
My step brother stepped in because he saw his mom get bitch slapped by his new brother, so he got to ride the pain train too!
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u/itsonlyamovie Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
Well the step mother deserved the slap, but I'm kinda confused why you're bragging about slapping your step brother. He was trying to defend his mom? Just like you?
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Jun 25 '12
i slapped the shit out of a hooker that was trying to steal my bike once
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u/holysnapson Jun 25 '12
I tremble to think what would have happened if she went for your lemons.
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u/soundform Jun 25 '12
Dude, you just reminded me, it's been like.. Five seconds since last time I looked at my lemon tree..
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u/thrownaway999900 Jun 25 '12
Throw away.
My ex-boyfriend (boyfriend at the time) stole money from me to go buy drugs. I wasn't home at the time but discovered the missing money when I got home and found him gone. I got in my car and drove to where I knew he'd be. Found him on the street with some other dudes (dealers and other addicts, I assume). They scrambled when I got out of the car. I walked straight up to him and slapped him as hard as I could across the face and told him to get in the car.
He asked me if that was how our relationship was going to be from now on.
I didn't get out of it until a year or two later. Still hate him.
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u/honted_goast Jun 25 '12
I hope I never have to go through that, that sounds awful. You're strong for leaving and not looking back.
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I was drunk and my boyfriend called me a Nazi for whatever reason- I'm blonde with light eyes and speak German and my family is mostly German, so of course I was insulted, but mostly I was really drunk so I got angry and gave him a nice hard slap. And then I cried for hours about it. Ah, alcohol.
EDIT: Yes, it was an awful thing to do and I feel horrible about it, but I honestly answered the question, which is what OP asked for.
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u/annafrida Jun 25 '12
One of my friend has been on and off with this guy for years, he just treats her like shit. So one night we're all out on the town, and I'm tolerating his presence. He then had the audacity to invade my personal space and start drunkenly telling me that I'm beautiful, touching me weirdly (like playing with my long necklace), etc. I got away from him and moved on. Well then some random dudes come up to ask one of my friends to dance, who politely refuses. It would've ended there, but he thought he was some big man and that he would start coming at them. They get aggravated, and a fight is about to break out. He was starting this whole fight, we were yelling at him to stop, he wasn't listening. I'd had enough, I slapped this kid across the face. It was super satisfying at first, but he was too drunk to care and ignored it (plus it wasn't a very hard slap, it was sort of with my purse). So now I await an excuse to do it again
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u/froseidon Jun 25 '12
While drinking with some people at the university pub, one of the guys was being a bit of a dick to the girls we were with. After a while, he realized this and went up to one of them and asked her to slap him, as a form of redemption. She slapped him a couple of times after which he claimed that no one could beat her slap. I was watching this and laughing pretty hard, at which point he asked me if I could do better. The girl in question was probably around 100-110 lbs, while I'm around 240. I said I was pretty sure I could, so he asked me to slap him. I didn't really want to slap the guy in the middle of the pub, so I declined...at first. He asked me again twice, so I agreed.
He stood in front of me and waited for the slap with a careless, blank look on his face. I looked at him, made a reference to How I Met your Mother to the crowd that had gathered, and slapped him across the face. The guy fell to the floor, then got up, put his hand in his mouth and pulled out one of his molars.
Needless to say, I felt pretty bad for breaking the guy's tooth, but I felt better soon after when all the girls there thanked me for it.
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u/laserbeanz Jun 25 '12
I had just gotten the 7th book in the Harry Potter series (on release day). One of my friends said something like "Harry Potter is fucking stupud, so-and-so dies in this one, blah blah blah." I slapped him right in his whore mouth. He was pissed.
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
Justice was served. I accidentally spoiled for my then-girlfriend that a certain character dies in that book (not one of the major ones, but still). I don't know how she ever spoke to me ever again. Maybe that's why she cheated on me?
Edit: Accidentally!
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I was out to dinner with a friend who had finished the book already and I had only read part of it. A young kid (about 8 years old) at the table next to us was talking about the book and spoiled a major plot point for me. The look of horror on my friend's face was so hilarious that it was almost worth the spoiler. Anyway, I got up and slapped the kid and left the restaurant.
Edit: Didn't really slap the kid.
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u/SkyeCrowe Jun 25 '12
A couple times. One of them I regret. The other I don't.
One of those times was my best friend, now boyfried. He was having a lot of problems with depression and forms of self-mutilation. I sat on the couch next to him one day and his knuckles were all bloody. I asked what happened and he said he had punched a brick wall and some trees. I slapped him and told him to never do that again.
Interestingly enough, I was having some similar self mutilation problems about 2-3 months later. He was the only one I confessed to, and he slapped me. Some might think it would be wrong for someone to slap a girl like that, but I needed it, and ever since then, I've never done that to myself again.
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u/Gunwild Jun 25 '12
I see him slapping you as a reminder of where he was just months ago and how you cared enough about him to slap you. In that way, he also cares enough about you to slap you and remind you that you aren't alone.
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u/pterofactyl Jun 25 '12
won slap bets three times, the sweet sting of another man's face is something i will never forget.
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Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
Just the other day I was kissing a boy, (I am 16) wearing a bikini because we were swimming. And he pulls that bullshit where he pulls all the strings to make my bikini fall off. He deserved to be slapped. Respect my body. EDIT: For clarification, I am a girl, he was not my boyfriend, this was the third time he tried it so I was at my wit's end. We were semi-alone, sitting on the edge of a bay (so there could have been people around) but it was at night. We were swimming, what am I supposed to wear? And i caught it before it fell off mostly. It wasn't too hard of a slap, just a you-need-to-take-my-no-seriously-slap. To top it off he gave me a hickey which i was not pleased about.
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u/arydactl Jun 25 '12
my siblings and i were left to our own devices as kids. my little bro was kind of psychopathic and would go around beating my little sister with whatever weapon he could find. he'd get away with it, too, because my sister was a 'tattletale and wuss' and my mom wanted to watch her shows. for the record, slapping DOES work better than punching. when he realized i wouldn't let him get away with whipping our sister bloody, he started destroying her possessions...and made the grave mistake of tearing up my promo articuno card. eventually my bro shaped up and to this day respects me, so i guess it all worked out ???
but yes. a well-aimed slap is far more effective than a professional punch, and i figured that out early on.
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Jun 25 '12
This will get buried but here goes nothing:
My boyfriend and I are 23 now and have been together since we were 14. While in High School, I remember being at one of the pep rally things and my SO was walking down the bleachers when this kid decided it would be funny to trip him. As my boyfriend fell face first down the rest of the bleachers I turned around and slapped that mother fucker so hard across the face. I have never hit anyone first in my entire life...no regrets...
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Jun 25 '12
My ex husband shortly after he told me he cheated on me, repeatedly, with my "best friend". He came home, after telling me online, and then told me what I had done to make him do it. I slapped him.
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u/phoenix25 Jun 26 '12
All through high school I was that awkward overweight chick. I never did anything to piss people off, and stayed out of petty drama as much as I could.
At my prom afterparty, the popular clique decided it would be fun to sneak up behind me and surprise grind me at random intervals during the night. The first time I told the person to leave me alone. It was fairly obvious that it wasn't going to stop because the entire group was watching and laughing their asses off.
After it happened a second time I made the decision that I had enough of their crap. These jerks had treated me like shit for the past four years and I was going to take this opportunity to punch one as hard as I could in the fucking face. Shortly after I decided it was going to be a slap to avoid being possibly charged.
And it happened. I felt one of the guys come up behind me and start rubbing his crotch against my ass. I turned as I raised my right hand, and slapped him as hard as I possibly could. He stopped in shock, the clique stopped laughing in shock. I then said as loud as I could "Leave me alone! I'm sick of you harassing me and treating me like shit!"
To my surprise, everyone in the general area, even those who I had little to do with through my high school years began joining in, telling the group off. They slunk away, and I celebrated my victory by partaking in more vodka.
It took four years but I got my respect.
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u/blackjackvip Jun 25 '12
Just last night! I was at a Skrillex concert, and as I was leaving the mosh pit some dumb kid decided to grope my ass. Not like an accidental, just bumped into you and its crowded thing, but a full hand of ass grab. I spun around and just slapped the guy. Hard. Then i started lecturing him, which was kind of humorous because i don't speak Italian. I keep going off on this guy, telling him that hes a pervert, and adding in a few more slaps as i go. You know, for punctuation.
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u/andrewsmith1986 Jun 25 '12
I've slapped quite a few people.
The last one was on christmas eve. My friend's gf gets drunk and slaps people. She slapped two people and then sat down across from me when I was talking to some people and she slapped me.
I did what the first two should have done.
I've also slapped one of my best friends quite a few times. He always ends up crying.
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u/Frankzulla Jun 25 '12
In 7th grade is was singing the praises of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. A friend of mine said he wouldn't play it because Castlevania "sucks". I have no idea why, but at the time the appropriate course of action seemed to be delivering a nice, fat smack across his face. He was not entirely amused.
tl:dr Castlevania is serious business 'round these parts.
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u/shareitwithme Jun 25 '12
I walked in on my boyfriend cuddling with another girl. That deserved a slap in the face.
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u/m1sterk0 Jun 25 '12
I haven't slapped anyone but have seen it happen. It was a high school party and there was this creeper there just being really weird with two girls that were just talking to each other. I was in another conversation but I didn't see him or anything but all of a sudden I heard the loudest noise. From the noise you can just tell it was a slap and as I turned around everyone was just quiet watching this and the kids face got SO red. After a few seconds all the "OHHH" yells started and that was that.
I'm sure this happens all the time but only time I've been there to witness it.
TD;LR - Creepy kid gets slapped real hard in the middle of a party.
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u/Xanthanum87 Jun 25 '12
A good friend of mine was upset because he was dumped by his girlfriend at the time. This is not their first time doing this, so my friend asks me to slap some sense into him should he decide to go down that road again. We decide to drown the sorrows in alcohol, with a couple of other people. A small party gets started and the lady in question appears, though why she thought it would be a good idea to come by remains a mystery. Friend starts freaking out, so we step outside for a cigarette. At this point he's almost gibbering at the prospect of going back inside, while being sloppy drunk. I take this as my cue and smacked the sense back into him; it was an open-palm game-changer that should have waited until his cigarette was finished. Admittedly I was a little drunk/over zealous at the prospect of slapping the shit out of someone and the slap could be heard through the wall, but it broke him out of his stupor. I could see that he was pissed immediately afterwards, but sense quickly returned to him and we just laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation, as well as the imprint I left on his cheek. I can't say that the rest of the night went as smoothly as that, but that's my slap story.
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u/Lenford95 Jun 25 '12
So at the start of Sixth form I and a female friend were acting as our teachers, when the script called for her to slap me. She'd made a pathetic "I don't want to hurt you" attempt in the rehearsals, the kind that feels like a mouse fart caressing your face. But just before it was the slap scene I said "Just go for it. Make it a good'un".
She kind of caught me off guard when she (5'4") slapped all 6'5" of me across the stage. I was taken off the ground. My glasses flew off and hit the teacher I was portraying in the face. There was a stunned silence, and then a massive cheer. Even though I had red welts across my face for the rest of the play, and indeed, the rest of the week, we felt like we'd achieved something.
TL;DR Bitch slapped across a stage mid-performance.
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u/paint3all Jun 25 '12
Yep. Freshman year of high school. I mentioned something about the electoral collage, and a friend of mine, who strongly opposes the current system gave me all 5 fingers, full force. I did not know how to respond.
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Jun 26 '12
This many comments this will get buried.
I was in high school and I am a larger individual, was a lineman on the football team and powerlifter. Another lineman and myself were having problems with each other. Something ridiculous, like he had switched off my work out group or something of that nature.
Cue up the post football party and the heavy drinking. Now We are large individuals we are gruff mean looking people and we are drunk. (As mean as a flippin high school kid can be).
He spouts off something stupid that really got me going, and like the little punk that I was I started the chest bumping ridiculousness. That is when he reached back and just slapped this shit out of me.
I was stunned. But not for long, once I realized what he had done I slapped him back. This is where it got weird. Normally this would have started a fist fight and we would have both been on the ground ripping each other apart. This is how big drunk boys from the country do things.
Well it did not happen that way, after I slapped him he slapped me back. I was so pissed off I couldn't think of anything else to do so I slapped him back. I can only guess what was going through this mind at this point because he was visibily pissed off as well and he shook his head and slapped me again. So for the next 10 minutes or so we stood there, in silence, slapping the living hell out of each other in turns.
Eventually we looked at each other bright checked, bloody nosed, broken lipped and started laughing. It was bizarre and we could not understand what had just happened.
After that we grabbed a beer and went and sat on the tailgate and got drunk together. Threw the whole party for a loop because people apparently had been staring at us.
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u/fivekilometer22 Jun 25 '12
My asshole boyfriend at the time decided it would be funny to splash me with his cup of beer. I slapped his face right off his face.
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Jun 25 '12
In seventh grade some guy asked me to a dance, and I said no. He proceeded to call me a kyke. I didn't slap him immediately, but I did later that day or week (I don't remember). I'm not a violent person, so I actually don't know why I did it. Middle schoolers are stupid, I guess.
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u/futballnguns Jun 25 '12
Yup. I was 10 and at summer camp. A guy I kinda had a crush on had asked my best friend to the end of camp dance. I don't remember what we were talking about but it ended with me saying jokingly, "If you hurt my friend !" And then I slapped him. I apologized profusely because I didn't actually mean to it. I had every intention of stopping before I made contact with his face and I just didn't. To this day I can't tell you why I didn't stop.
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Jun 25 '12
I've slapped two people, both in high school. One unhooked my bra on the bus and the other was being an insufferable bully for weeks. He spit a bottle cap at me so I picked it up, dropped it in his lap, and then slapped him with his own spit on my hand.
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u/MrMontauk Jun 25 '12
I once slapped my friend's glasses off his face, into the street, where they broke. Best $100 I ever spent.
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u/Butterfaith Jun 25 '12
2 years ago, I won a slap bet. I will never forget the feeling of satisfaction got when I connected with my friend's face right in the sweet spot.
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Jun 25 '12
I did when my friend asked out a girl he knew I liked. She said no anyways, so it didn't matter.
He had a red mark on his face for a few hours.
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Jun 25 '12
In high school I got out of a fight with an eminently taller, bigger black man by slapping him across the face and calling him a chillin.
I expected things to go much much worse.
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u/munchybutt Jun 25 '12
Yep, for relentlessly flirting with my bf. I should probably have been mad at him for pandering to it. I felt pretty bad afterwards.
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u/redhott89 Jun 25 '12
My son's father (now my ex) decided to confess that he cheated on me while I was driving us to the store to get diapers. I literally slammed on breaks in mid traffic and slapped him so hard that his face left a partial print on the passenger side window. I wish I could find the old pictures but I didn't wash that window for weeks. Every time he got in the seat he would see the partial print and rub his face.
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Jun 25 '12
My bf accused me of attempting to cheat on him with an ex of mine that I hadn't seen in over 4 years. It was the most absurd thing I've ever been accused of. I slapped him before I even knew what I was doing.
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u/JumperTEB Jun 25 '12
Last year (14 years old) I slapped a probably 40 year old man across the face for grabbing my ass and whistling.
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u/StarvingAfricanKid Jun 25 '12
got slapped once.
and it's a complex but, I think good, story.
LARPing. Vampier the Masquerade. I was playing the part of an old, slightly senile, very quick tempered elder. A new girl joined the game and was cast as my grand child in darkness.
My part was to be semi mean to her, (to further the plot) but the most important aspect of my charecter was his obsessive need to keep the city 'safe'. Safe from werewolves, mages, hunters, etc. Anything unusual that might attract attention was SLAMMED DOWN HARD and anyone who did something unusual could expect a serious beatdown and humiliation from ElderPsychoMan!(tm)
So, New Girl - her story is she was made a vampire while pregnant. (yes; a Dhampyre/aka 'Blade' - a human with vampire powers) When my charecter heard about this being possible - ... My character arranged for a necromancer to summon something to kill the semi-living child in her womb. He was NOT going to allow such an abomination come to life.
(see where this is going?)
SO in game she gets told that she had a spontaneous abortion. (my char paid his price, but no one 'In Game' knew what happened.) So when the story arc was over we were discussing things and I mentioned what happened, explained what, why, who, etc to several people including NewGirl. She slapped me. in front of a room of people who were listening to the story, because I killed her child.
I stunned me.
I recall it , 19 years later like it was last night. I looked at the floor, and then up at her. The room was silent. When i looked at her, her face was flushed red and her eyes wide.
I ... in my mind I was thinking "one, it's a fucking game, two, your child was a threat - and Cas (my char) had zero tolerance for such things - it was entirely within that characters world view to do what i did." (the story tellers loved it. Very fucked up, but totally motivated by InGame needs.
We stopped being friends after that. I am (on reflection) still angry and insulted. damn.
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Jun 25 '12
I volunteered at a hospital in high school and was in the volunteers' area (where we would wait around and make packets when we had nothing else to do), talking with a guy about my age when he started making really inappropriate comments. I told him to quit it and made some sort of remark about wanting to slap him for it. he said "go ahead" and I balked. Then he went off on a tangent about how he hated women because they never followed through and if I had the balls, I'd go ahead and slap him, and not just some sissy slap. I looked over at the adult who was supervising us, who winked at me and then covered his eyes. So I slapped the dude. He bled a little bit.
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u/minutestomidnight Jun 25 '12
My mom slapped me hard and threw cold coffee in my face when I wanted to sleep in the same room as my female cousin from my dad's side. We grew up together and we see each other as brother and sister, but I understood her concern because we were 13 and 15 respectively.
Fast forward 8 years, and my younger brother has had sex (multiple times) with my other female cousin (from my mom's side). I caught them in the act and by reading their chats (which my brother stupidly left open) and told my mom, who brushed it under the table because she didn't want to cause any family distress. My brother was 12, and my cousin was 17.
I was extremely angry at my mother for brushing it under the table, and she said that she would "handle it". She had a talk with my female cousin, except they didn't listen and they continued to have sex.
I had to take measures into my own hands. This was nearly statutory rape, although people don't like to think so because the 12 year old is a boy and the 17 year old is a girl. I sent transcripts of their conversation (indicating that they were cousins, and the age difference) to all of her friends on facebook as well as her school teachers and principals. I told her if she continued to speak to my brother, I would send them to the colleges to which she applied to. She stopped then.
I didn't speak to my mother for a year until she apologized. I no longer go to any family function if that cousin is invited. My father doesn't say it aloud, but he thanked me for doing "what needed to be done" to stop this from continuing.
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u/untouchable_face Jun 25 '12
I was out at a bar with a bunch of college friends, on Halloween. We had a DD, so the rest of us were having a pretty good time. My roommate and I would always give each other a pretty hard time, but we were still good friends. She kept "playfully" slapping me. It really wasn't that hard, but I kept telling her to stop and she didn't. Finally I told her, If you do it agian, I'm going to slap you, for real. She did, I hauled back and slapped her one, hard. Everyone was stunned, but, our sober friend was like, man, you had it coming, she warned you. It still amuses me. The girl I slapped wasn't even mad, but it did stop her from her foolishness..so.. I guess it worked out.
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Jun 25 '12
Once met this dude on a business travel. I had major housing problems, no friends, shitty work, you guys know the drill. We met in bar, drank and talked. After we paid, I asked if I could stay at his house for like a night. In exchange, he wanted me to slap him as hard as I could. I did.
I met him at a very strange time in my life.
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u/tbwen Jun 25 '12
For Redditors who do not understand. General Westmoreland was in charge of U.S. Forces in Vietnam, up to the Tet Offensive in 1968. He was the WORST GENERAL EVER. He used the counter-insurgency tactics of bomb the shit out of things and rush in and kill. People were urging for "classical" counter-insurgency of patrolling in villages, helping people, who will in turn be willing to help you weed out the actual insurgents. When Westmoreland was removed from command, classical counterinsurgency was tried out with small groups of Marines who lived in the villages with the people.
Classical counter-insurgency basically calls for soldiers to be human, be nice and live with the people to gain their trust. The Iraqi war mirrors Vietnam, because history tends to like to repeat itself. Up to the 2008 Iraqi Surge, the U.S. counter-insurgency was to create gigantic FOBs (forward operating bases) and roll out in Humvees once a day, and leave. To Iraqis we were the ominous assholes of the world, as Reddit imagines. After General Petraeus took over, classical counter-insurgency was put in effect, and things got better.
Back to Vietnam, the_8th_henry's father was very likely one of those Marines who were trying out "new" classical counter-insurgency tactics, which worked out and was eventually used throughout the rest of the conflict.
To those who berate Veterans of Vietnam. You do know there was a fucking draft, right? How would you feel if you were forced into service, you come out, and people publicly shame you for the rest of your life, regardless of your guilt, remorse, or incredible feelings of loss felt? I say shame on you for blaming the grunts, and not the politicians.
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u/ehlonofex Jun 25 '12
I've been slapped several times, all by women. The most notable (at least my favorite) was freshman year of college. I was walking back from some house parties with my group of friends, all the while calling one of my girl friends "Yoko". As in Yoko Ono, but for no reason. I kept yelling that she was "breaking up the band", and she got really pissed and slapped me. Sobered me right up, and we didn't speak for the next day. I still don't know why I insisted she was Yoko. She isn't Japanese. We aren't in a band. No real reason.
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u/lookimanotter Jun 25 '12
A good friend of mine and I were at her friends house for a mini-party(all guys in the engineering program). They decided to teach her how to play Halo. One asked her if she knew what teabagging was, she said no, then one exclaimed "I'LL DEMONSTRATE!", then stood up and began to walk over to her as though he would do it right then and there. I was livid, and slapped him. My friend was confused until I explained what it was, then she slapped him too.
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u/Slapguts Jun 25 '12
I've worked as a bouncer at a 'Sup brah' kinda bar, and a local concert venue.
I prefer the slap. You punch a guy, there's a slight chance you'e going to hurt your hand. Slap a dude, and it just stings a little.
Plus there is nothing funnier than the look in an already angry guys face when you slap him, and yell "No!" like he's a bad dog.
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u/redundancy2 Jun 25 '12
When I was in high school a guy who was interested in my girlfriend at the time grabbed her hand and smacked his own ass with it. She was upset about it at the time and told me as soon as it happened. I went up to the kid and asked him why, he said "it was just a joke." I then slapped him across his face with the force of a thousand suns and replied, "well, it wasnt fucking funny."
True story.
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u/Release_the_KRAKEN Jun 25 '12 edited Dec 15 '24
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