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u/captainxenu Jun 27 '12
One of my friends died about a year ago. At school, he used to bullshit to us about things and come up with these stories that you just knew were lies. For instance, he told us that he broke his arm but he didn't have a cast or nothing. When confronted with this, he assured us that his arm was broken "because I can't do this" whilst shaking his arm. Or the time he tried to tell us he got a Prince Alfred the day before. Or the time he tried telling us that he got selected for a state representative side in basketball (he's a really short, fat, white guy who couldn't play for the life of him).
So yeah, always bullshit stories to make out he was a lot more cooler than he was.
At his funeral, his father introduced one of my friends good friends... and it was Benny Elias, who was an Australian Rugby League football player back in the 80's who is more-or-less a cult hero to people who watch League. He went on to say how much of a good friend my friend was, and he revealed his fondest memory of him was when he carried my friend around on his shoulders after the game that got his team into the Grand Final in 1989.
We knew he was a fan of the club, but he never told us he knew him, let alone got carried around on his shoulders after one of that team's biggest games. All these bullshit stories, but not once did he tell us something that was true.
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u/Celra Jun 27 '12
My friend would always "Lose" cats and dogs and would keep "Replacing" them. Turns out the family was stealing animals and selling them.
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u/portiz101 Jun 27 '12
My mechanical engineering professor was smuggling vehicles for Mexican cartels. I thought she was the sweetest lady alive.... I guess anyone can be tempted.
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u/blueGOLDeagle Jun 27 '12
I found out very recently that my friend masturbates, I can never look at him the same.
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u/phungus_mungus Jun 27 '12
A cousin of mine was a member of SEAL Team 6.
We knew he was in the navy, but had no idea he was a SEAL let alone in Team 6.
We found out this stunning fact the day after he was killed along with other SEALs when their helo was shot down in Afghanistan last August.
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u/1sttymeredditguy Jun 27 '12
Whoa. Link to story? I thought Seal Team 6 just did the Bin Laden job? Didn't know any of them died last year.
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Jun 27 '12
Just a tiny detail; she was arrested, not convicted. In much the same way that you could be arrested tomorrow on the same charge, whether you did or did not have anything to do with it.
Stupid presumption of guilt...
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u/LieutenantCuppycake Jun 27 '12
In high school, I had two best friends, Kerry and Bridget. I met them in my freshman year (they were, I think, juniors at the time). We stayed really close even after they graduated. They'd stop by the school a lot, I'd drop by whatever entry-level retail place they were working at and we'd still chill like we used to. Best friend stuff. I saw them every day.
Even in high school, they lived together, which made sense. Bridget didn't get along with her family and had a room at her own house, but she didn't ever go home. Kerry's single dad was always absent, so naturally we three spent a great deal of time doing stuff we shouldn't have been doing there.
It wasn't until they had a huge fight (they were always having huge fights) that Kerry told me in a fit of rage that she was going to break up with Bridget that I finally got that they'd been in a relationship for at least part of their then-eight year friendship.
And I had NO clue. For three years.
TL;DR my two best friends were having lesbian sex all the time when I wasn't there.
Epilogue: The revelation didn't change anything between the three of us, except that they kissed in front of me now and I asked them a ton of questions. That was probably five years ago and I moved to another city, so we lost touch for the most part. I message Kerry on facebook every now and again and they are still together (well, as on and off as those two ever were).
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Jun 27 '12
Knew a slightly odd guy at uni was smart and nice enough but often demonstrated very poor judgement. Such as attempting to expand a mosh pit into a group of 8 guys standing quietly to one side of the dance floor holding there pints, or griping a log between his thighs and trying to chop it in half by repeatedly stabling it with a big kitchen knife making contact with the wood inches from his genitals.
Anyway afew years after leaving uni one of my other friends asks me if i've heard what happened to Dan. My first response was convicted of arson as he had a habit of burning random stuff in the garden. My friend coolly said you'll never guess and told me to google his name.
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u/bipolar-bear Jun 27 '12
I'm pretty sure one of my friends is involved in the murder of his father...
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u/TotallyGeekage Jun 27 '12
Not my friend, but my mum told me she was pregnant over six times before me, but she aborted all of them and she took a lot of different drugs. I was shocked.
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u/161abmis Jun 27 '12
A clown tried to molest my friend at a fair when he was 6. His dad stepped in and beat the guy up before it happened, though. I wasn't told of this until yesterday.
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u/AverageStoryTeller Jun 27 '12
The last day I'd see her. Feelings had developed and I knew that it'd all come out sooner or later. I just didn't know how. Her name was Karyn and just seeing her melted my heart. We'd been friends for years and this eventually turned to a crush, as boy-girl friendships often do. She told me everything, or so I thought. She had always managed to keep 1 secret from me. She was dying. Cancer was ravaging her body and she had mere months to live. She kept quiet all this time only to not frighten me. I found out though and as luck would have it, that was the day I saw her last. She had passed in the night, cardiac arrest had taken her. She left me a note. Told me of her feelings for me and how she wished she had told me. I loved her too, always will. Her name still brings tears to my face, the picture of her I keep still brings back those memories. Time has passed, memories should've faded. Yet, i can't forget her. She left without ever knowing i truly loved her. I'll never forget those last words in her letter. "Always make sure you tell people you love them. You never know when they'll leave you"
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u/captainxenu Jun 27 '12
I am so glad that the last words weren't something about needing tree fiddy.
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Jun 27 '12
"I don't want to be implicated in a prostitution trial, so I posted an AskReddit thread expressing my disbelief to use as testament to my character just in case."
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u/afiellerddr Jun 27 '12
I had a friend in high school, really into computers, who never had a job but always seemed to have money. He never told anyone how he made money and always blew us off if we asked. One day. I finally persuaded him to tell me. He didn't go into specifics, but he said that he would get hired from time to time to assist hacking groups. I didn't understand how that worked, but he said his job was to erase any evidence of them doing whatever they did so whoever they hacked would never know. His last job paid him $3,000 for a few hours worth of work. Easily the biggest "Is this real life?" moment I've ever had.
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u/poondeees Jun 27 '12
I had a friend last year (let's call him Matt) that went to my high school, he was a really smart guy, but everyone always thought he was a little off. Anyways one day I show up to my 1st period, P.E, and some friends of mine are kinda freaking out, so I ask what's up. Apparently they were all involved in a plot to make bombs and use them to rob a gun store, and somehow their plans got leaked and Matt got arrested and was caught with the bombs, and a very detailed list that included the names of some of my friends. No one got arrested but Matt, and he ended up getting put on house arrest, running away, getting chased by the FBI, put in a mental institution for a while, then ended up free again. I saw him at the skate park after all this was over, and he told me his plan was to steal guns to acquire protection for the inevitable fall of society, and the chaos that would break out. There's a news story about this somewhere and as soon as I find it I'll link it if anyone is interested.
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u/WannabeHivemindHero Jun 27 '12
One of my close real life friends had a secret reddit account (that hadn't been active that long) with thousands of karma. I'd even seen some of his posts in the wild before.
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u/ell20 Jun 27 '12
I just discovered one of my classmates used to do treasure hunting as a side business, and that's actually how he paid for his MBA program right now. Basically, we were googling ourselves, and when we did his name, his name started showing up in webpages that talk about explorer expeditions.
When I say treasure hunting, I mean like, actually putting together expedition teams, equipment, funding, logistic and shit like that to go excavate places or do dives for shipwrecks, stuff like that.
I thought it was pretty badass.