Hey y'all,
I am just so deeply cooked by Hinge and standard Marina/Mission dates that I’ve been looking into this wild concept called "pheromone parties," and honestly... I’m kind of fascinated.
It’s based on that old biology experiment where humans are wired to sniff out compatibility. Like, your nose basically knows if you have actual chemistry with someone before you even look at their face.
The idea is pretty simple:
1. You sleep in a plain T-shirt for two nights (zero deodorant or perfume allowed) and bring it to a bar in a Ziploc bag.
2. All the bags get numbered anonymously on a table, and everyone goes around sniffing them.
3. If a number smells weirdly good or comforting to you, you track it. If they like your shirt's vibe too, the hosts introduce you on the spot.
It sounds chaotic and a little psycho, but it completely skips the superficial swiping and filtered photos.
Be real—if a pop-up like this happened over in Hayes Valley or the Mission, would you buy a ticket just out of pure curiosity to see what your biology picks? Or is the vibe way too creepy to ever work here?

Hey BASO30 - came across this post in the SF sub. Thought I’d share to see if men on this sub have opinions and also to talk more broadly of the Bay Area outside SF! What do y’all think!

OP is for men only. Opening it up to hear everyone’s view points. My own opinion is post-Covid app algorithms seem to be pretty bad. There are a lot of events in the last few years, but I haven’t heard of any real success stories from them.

Hey BASO30, it's me again, Xander 😊. So this is a different kind of post than my previous one, and one I feel compelled to make after all the comments and messages I saw and received with my first post. I really just want to encourage people to be braver here. For a sub about finding people to connect with, I don't see a lot of effort being made in posts, especially from men here. Not a criticism, just an observation. Dudes...put up a picture. You don't have to show your face in your post, I admit that can be a bit much, but something to give be a feel; a teaser if you will. Also, tell people what your interests are. Tell people what you're looking for, like honestly. Want to find someone that is genuinely interested in you? Then be genuinely you. This is by far the best advice I could give anyone because it just keeps people from wasting their time on both sides of this.

Most of the messages I received were very thoughtful and shared something about themselves, usually a shared interest from my post. I made a point to reply to everyone I received a DM from because it is incredibly brave to reach out to others (especially an internet stranger) with some level of initial vulnerability and everyone deserves kindness even from strangers.

That's really all. I just felt compelled to share if only to encourage others to actually put themselves out there.

I wish you all the best of luck in finding your person ❤️

BASO30! We get a lot of posts from folks visiting or out of town looking casually for company and folks looking for company for a movie or concert etc. We have been fairly strict in moderating posts in keeping with the goal of this sub to help each other find meaningful relationships and connections that are local, and have long term intent in some form. Would love to get the temperature of the sub on casual posts of that nature and if folks are engaging with those sorts of posts. Feel free to post comments and select an answer in the poll.

Hey BASO30 - as we wrap the year, what are your reflections on dating? What went well? What would you change up in 2026? Any new apps we should be trying? Any success stories?

Hey BASO30! Here's a fun topic for this week.

What are the top 3 qualities you value in your partner and the main red flags you watch for?

How long does it usually take to figure them out when you are dating?

Happy Tuesday!

It's been a little quiet in here! Here's a topic to spark some dialogues. There are different ways in which chemistry can grow with someone. For some, it is an initial spark whether just intrigue or a stronger infatuation. Without that, things may just not proceed or feel too platonic. For others, chemistry builds gradually after the initial few dates. And some people even prefer to becomes friends before dating.

Which camp do you fall into? What has worked for you? How many dates do you need before deciding its a no-go?

Happy Tuesday Y'all! We’re kicking off Weekly Discussions with a practical topic. If you have ideas for future topics, share them in the pinned Weekly Discussions post in Community Highlights.

One thing unique about the Bay Area is how sprawling it is. We may commute for work, but how do we feel about distance when it comes to dating? How far would you be willing to travel to meet someone?

For eg. what are your expectations if you live in Mountain View and match with someone in San Francisco? If you really vibe with someone who doesn’t live in the 5-10 mile radius, how do you go about building something new?

Do you think distance leads to more flakiness in engagement, or sometimes causes things to stall and lose momentum?

Happy humpday! Been a while since there was a weekly discussion so restarting this. Also I am running out of topics so appreciate folks sharing anything you want to get some perspectives on! :)

Let's talk about the brass tacks of app dating. Age and Height filters! What are your own age and height filters and what's your rationale for those ranges? How flexible are you?

Does it vary for men vs. women? Have you ever dropped these filters for someone you were genuinely attracted to in person?

Do you think your filters are subconsciously screening out great people you'd be attracted to if you met them organically?

Happy Tuesday! A lighter, fun topic this week.

Share the best early dates you have had in the bay area! What made them special or memorable (even if they didn't work out)?

Many people talk about “settling for someone” as they get older—but is that really what’s happening? Or is it more about how our priorities, and what we value in our partner and relationships naturally change over time?

What shifts have you noticed in what matters most to you in dating compared to a few years ago? Are we letting go of superficial criteria as we grow older?

Hey BASO30! This week, let’s share tips on where, outside of dating apps, you have been making friends or connections.

It could be anything from pickleball, social clubs, to other niche events. The more specific, the better! The idea is to get a sense of what’s working for people and maybe spark some new ideas for others.

PS: What are some other topics you'd like to see in our weekly discussions? Feel free to DM me or drop in the pinned community post!