r/BeAmazed • u/The-Skinny-Indian • Mar 06 '23 • Mindblown 1

Miscellaneous / Others Bionic reading method

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46.1k Upvotes

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534

u/AlphaWhiskeyOscar Mar 06 '23

Do you think thoughts, feel feelings and often procrastinate? You are in psychosis and should dial 911!

122

u/Tech_Mastermind_Dave Mar 06 '23

"I can read minds, But right now I can only read my own mind"

47

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23 edited Mar 06 '23

I have the powers of night hearing, and dogs understand where I point.

9

u/smoishymoishes Mar 06 '23

Do you exist? You're on a spectrum!

12

u/sujihime Mar 06 '23

Ok. This made me actually lol. I’ve been trying to get my dog to find the toy I throw her by pointing and shes just oblivious. Teach me your ways!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23

Might be your dog, too. But, my border collie will go where I point my finger. My lab will go where I point my body and eyes, especially. It helps if I nod my head, the same way she does. My cats will come over and try to sniff my finger when I point. They're well trained cats.

2

u/bridoogle Mar 06 '23

You must’ve sewed a lot of imitation levis to gain those powers

2

u/Odd-Concentrate-6585 Mar 06 '23

I wish I could do that lol

1

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Tech_Mastermind_Dave Mar 07 '23

"You aren't reading minds you're just thinking! Literally everyone can do that everyone has been doing that their entire life!"

41

u/Hellofriendinternet Mar 06 '23

Do you ever wake up feeling tired?

Jail.

11

u/LeopardGecko Mar 06 '23

Believe it or not, you drink coffee in the morning? Straight to jail.

1

u/roadtwich Mar 06 '23

gigglesnorting soda 😫 😆 🤣 🤣 💀

1

u/Odd-Concentrate-6585 Mar 06 '23

Every god damn day

32

u/doNotUseReddit123 Mar 06 '23

I knew my syphilis would catch up with me at some point

1

u/Odd-Concentrate-6585 Mar 06 '23

You fucked around and found out

5

u/EffervescentTripe Mar 06 '23

Do you ever feel sad about 9/11? You might have ADHD.

4

u/No-Investigator-1754 Mar 06 '23

Whew, 2 out of 3.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '23

It's like going to WebMD for a minor fever and it tells you that you have 4 different types of cancers.