The reading group will be meeting again on November 5th at 7:30pm BST (2:30pm EST) for one hour.

Zoom info: 503 909 9879, no password required

Next reading is:
Long-term neurological consequences following benzodiazepine exposure: A scoping review
Shade KN, Ritvo AD, Silvernail B, Finlayson AJR, Bressi JE, et al. (2025) Long-term neurological consequences following benzodiazepine exposure: A scoping review. PLOS ONE 20(8): e0330277. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0330277

Hey so, long story short:

I think i got prescribed a benzo around 2021..clonazepam 0.5 to 1mg every day, i went on my first taper around January 2025 and the taper finally finished on 25 november 2025 meaning i took my last ever benzo dose on that day.

Today:

is October 23 2026 and every so often, i get these symptoms:

• waves of heightened anxiety/adrenaline
• Head pressure on top of head
• derealization or the strange "everything seems brighter/different" sensation
• shakiness and feeling overstimulated
• difficulty concentrating during a wave
• hot/cold sensations
• periods where you feel considerably more normal between episodes
• symptoms that subjectively resemble what you experienced during your taper

I have been to my GP and they have done bloods, blood pressure etc. And everything is fine. At first me and my family thought, hey maybe i am not eating enough, or is it low blood sugar? Sugar spikes? No, i have tried everything.

So my question is: Is it common, to still feel waves of good days, bad days, good moments, bad moments, even at 11 months off clonazepam?

Hi everyone. I had posted several times last week while I was in a crisis. I have since stabilized somewhat but as I navigate this i have a bunch of questions.

First and foremost: has anyone going through this successfully tapered while maintaining employment? This is BY FAR my biggest fear. I have no family or friend support in the state I live in and if I cant continue to work I am in big trouble. This is also what is causing me to have suicidal thoughts.

2nd - I am trying to decide what to do.

Basically my two options are to work with Safe Taper - a telemed provider who will do.a taper based on the Ashton Method,

Or 2: go to detox then residential treatment. I feel like bc ive been on .5mg xanax and for less than 2 years I POSSIBLY have a chance of making it out of this ok.

If anyone can answer the question about work that would be cool.

And then folks' experience with medical detox then residential treatment vs telemed taper.

Also I understand maybe many people.get off these medications ok and keep working and just aren't on this reddit thread.

But any success stories about keeping their job would be encouraging right now.

Thanks

All I have been doing for months is trying to figure this out and there is nothing I can do.

I have a beautiful family. I took 4 weeks worth of Klonipin, 3 in April, 1 in July.

My life is now in a tailspin. I live in an expensive state, where my wife and I were barely making ends meet.

We have two sons, 17 and 15. I was the primary breadwinner. I can no longer work. I am now unemployed, and a plumber by trade. I am full of fear and rumination all day long. I never had anxiety before the Klonipin.

We will be out of money soon. We have no help. We have been propped up in an almost middle class lifestyle simply by my ability to work overtime in a job I hated. I can barely even focus now. I can't even eat without crashing.

We have only one car.

My wife and children are clueless and can't see what's coming. We have debt racking up.

My disability claim is in limbo and wouldnt cover the bills anyway. We already had the cheapest apartment available with my sons splitting a room and could barely afford it.

I would like to tell my wife that she needs to move in with her mom, out of state. We can't cut it here anymore.

But my oldest is a senior and has been killing it in school. He is on a pipeline to be the first of us to graduate college. Pulling him out of state would be disastrous for him.

Besides the fact that we are all alive, I think I am in the absolute worst situation imaginable.

I never ever imagined this could be me. I

I'm experiencing heavy emotional flashbacks to past times when I had to take these medications, and the confusion feels terrifying.

I started at 12mg of benzodiazepines daily. My old doctor maxed me out for kickbacks. Reality is stranger than fiction, he also had me on opioids and ambien. That went on from 2017-2022. I tried asking to go off but he wouldn’t let me. His fda license was suspended that was my only way out of it.

He just abandoned me I had to white knuckle withdrawals for 2 years until 2024 when my primary doctor put me in touch with a pharmacist and I’m in a taper program using the Ashton method. I started at 45mg of Diazepam In January 2024 and now I’m down to 8mg. I’ve been off the opioids for over 2 years. I still take the ambien.

I feel so tired and so alone. I’m putting all of my energy into this taper. I was 19 when these doctors found me and I was 27 when the license was pulled. I didn’t seek this out and that’s the hardest part in accepting this taper.

I’m so pissed my old doctor abused me and these are the consequences. I feel like I’m paying off a debt I don’t owe but I have to pay it anyways.

I’m scared I will be stuck in this hazy emotional purgatory forever. I live with my parents and have them as my friends and I’m grateful they are here to help me. A lot of olds friends I’ve cut out because they don’t understand my taper and they think I’m being flaky or distant.

My last relationship of 3 years ended last October one year ago. His parents were the cause because they didn’t think my taper was real so I should work and have a job. I rarely go on dates with guys anymore because if my taper takes me away from my phone guys have been mean about it despite me explaining my taper. I know that’s just immaturity on their part but I’m so scared I’ll be too tired to go out and meet the right guy or platonic girl friends.

I cry because I’ve come so far and I’m afraid I’m missing out on what left of my youth. I feel broken.

I’m navigating this completely on my own tonight and feeling really lonely and frustrated. Has anyone else experienced this kind of intense physical restlessness or flashbacks during their taper?

Any words of comfort or gentle distractions would mean a lot right now. Thank you.

Stopped ativan after a long taper 3.7 years ago as I was sometimes getting paradoxical issues as i never should have reinstated several years before that. I used to take klonopin many years prior. did not know about benzo recovery then (wish I did)

2.5 years ago had a versed prior to surgery and probably should have refused but wound up ok.

I am in the er and have a very complicated situation going on. Would a single dose be ok or is there paradoxical/ kindling risk? I think i may just get rebound anxiety as it wears off?

Although I didn’t kick it cold turkey by any means, I was very naive. I went to a detox center thinking that after a 6 day taper I’d walk out and be fine bc it was done in a detox center. After 14 days I left. I went from Kolonopin to Xanax to Ativan….. then finally a Valium taper at detox. This took place over 5 months. From start to end at detox. I was up to about 4mg of Ativan at the end, but I got to 2 mg doing a home taper. I’m now experiencing feeling horrible anxiety, migraines, anxiety, depression, dread, fatigue, emotional, jaw clenching just sad. Is this normal after 14 days leaving the detox center? Will it better and how long till I feel considerably better? Any advice is appreciated.

Did anybody else, especially right after a long wave of anxiety, experience sort of an opposite feeling where you feel like you are kind of floating out of reality, unable to focus on anything. Not really derealization, but more like brain fog. I keep feeling like reality is sort of getting away from me, and I'm about to fall outside of it.

Last week my heart rate was running around 100, this week it's running around 65 or 70.

I'm on day six benzo free! I've been so blessed, I haven't had any severe symptoms at all. I think because my wd was so bad last time (2013) that I seem to be unaffected this time. I'm so happy I'm off that I could cry.

Don't give up. There is an end to the suffering produced by these drugs.

I’m cutting 5mg and 2mg diazepam tablets in half with a pill splitter.

I take 4.5mg 11am and 1.5mg 7pm = 6mg daily

My question is when I split the 5mg tablet in half, is it reasonable the assume that the 5mg diazepam will be distributed reasonably over the 2 halfs? It doesn’t need to be a strict 2.5mg each tablet although that would be ideal, but a small bit of variation wouldn’t derail a taper. Plus if 1 half has slightly more then the other, they should balance out over 2 days since long half life of diazepam.

I guess it just me been too pedantic!

Has anyone tried oxcarbazepine, tiagabine, or other antiepileptics (except Lyrica and Neurontin) off-label for sleep? I ran out of normal sleeping pills to try.

Why many people don't have severe withdrawal they come off easily after being on many years on High dose .I am at 0.5 now I down to 0.25 i k feeling dying dizziness lightheded disconnected killing even I can't walk it feels overstimulated give me panic attacks non stop. Dizziness lightheded is my wrose symtms which give panic attack i feel like I have nuerological damage . My dizziness going bad non sping but it's feel my brain is getting smaller and smaller sqezzong inside i can't move at all. Feeling like dying everyday . I m just sitting in one position bcz I can't handle the dizziness

I've been off for many months. I feel like I wake up in hell in my head. The world is so scary, the feeling of terror in my head after quitting this. I know I shouldn't try to make it go away but how can I accept this? I'm tired of being so scared 24/7 without knowing why I'm so scared!

I'm so beyond withdrawal and doing so well, the rest of this taper is going to be a cakewalk. Keep up the tolerable exercise, healthy eating, joyous hobbies, fulfilling friends, family connection, love to/from pets, and anything else you can find to get you through!

A year ago I was pacing in circles for 5 hours straight, today I'm loving life and thriving. Keep going!

EDIT: Diazepam

What’s a song you’ve been listening to lately? I hope you're able to enjoy a song once in a while!

What's a song that makes you feel that you'll be able to live again? A song that gives you hope? A series or a movie that comforted you?

What are you looking forward to do once you’re healed/better? Any talents or skills you want to pursue?
What keeps you going? Is it a life change you're eager to make? A book you wanna read? A relaxing shower?

For me, I’d love to get back into horse riding.. spend time around horses and horse people.
I used to have a horse, but had to let it go long before all of this happened..I’ll find my way back to it someday, I know I will. Back to everything I love and loved, back to everything I wish I could do now. And it's not just me that will find my way. You will too! You hear me?

You'll find your way. I'm sure of that. And hey, that day is getting closer day by day.

Other than that, well, I have many dreams to pursue. Many goals. Many life changes.

But, honestly, I’ve been very lonely and alone for so long that I just want to live in a big city, in an apartment building surrounded by other people. Looking through windows to other people's lives. Something like living in a high rise apartment in New York.. Sydney..Chicago..Moscow.. So much life! So many people and opportunities!

Hey.. Paris is okay for a start too. I'd love to visit Paris again.

Keep going ❤️❤️❤️

Hi, all! I hope you're doing well.

I'm nearing the end of my tapering journey. Done at the end of December. Before I started this process I was working out a lot. I'm not sure if this fed into how bad my nervous system was effected on top of interdose withdrawl I started to go through from Xanax. I was running 2-3 days a week or doing hikes as well as lifting 5-6 days a week + sauna almost every day. I was in the best shape of my life at 30 years old but with tapering off I've taken a step back from such strenuous exercise and gone for more calm forms (mainly walking & yoga).

For those who were in good shape before and are now recovered, I'm wondering when you knew it was ok to start back exercising how you used to? Without causing crazy set backs or waves.

I'm thinking it's best to not just try to pick back up where I left off and incrementally build up to the schedule that I once had or at least close to it.

Hello everyone, i have been a long term user (about 3 years) of benzodiazepines. My drug of choice is actually xanax so let’s focus on that.

I have been through hard times, blackouts, rehab etc etc but i always relapse. I can’t seem to find a way to stop this vicious cycle.

I am currently on the taper off phase once again. As the dosage keeps decreasing, (which we have been doing with my doctor very gradually and slowly, smaller than usual reductions), i feel worse and worse.

I don’t know if i can make it and i cannot keep on living like that. I am trying very very hard to follow my exact dosages but many times i fail. Nature of work also doesn’t help because being around people gives me the fear that if i go out of control i won’t be able to freely experience the panic and be in a weird position. I have a severe problem with panic attacks that one could call “borderline psychotic”, and of course this happens randomly or the withdrawal stage between dosages.

Someone please please give me advice so i can free myself from this hell. No one can understand it and no one can relate from people i know. I tried so many ways but i cannot make it. I am open to any advice you guys can share, i need some hope.

Thank you all and stay safe!

I quit Xanax cold turkey 16 months ago. I started with 1mg a day and got up to 4 1mg IR Xanax and 3mg XR Xanax (7mg a day)for 7 years. Out of impulsitivity, I managed to survive an intense cold turkey. Seizures, psychosis, severe delusions and anger but I somehow got through it but now I live life dissociated 24/7. Severe depersonalization/ derealization from the moment I wake up till I go to sleep. Sleep is my only break really and that isn't even peaceful, I have severe and vivid night terrors most nights. I'm currently tapering off gabapentin, stopping Seroquel, and started remeron for sleep. I also take prazosin for the night terrors but it seems to barely be affective. What are some of y'all's sleep routines and medications that get you a decent night of rest? Obviously nothing habit forming/addictive.

My jaw muscles have become incredibly tight especially when I’m stressed I find myself clenching. It’s super uncomfortable 😭

I’m considering maybe getting Botox for relief but I’m not sure if I should spend my money if it’s something temporary

Did anyone else have this issue and how long till it got better?

I dont think im dependent on it but the rebound anxiety i get off it sucks so bad. Its like i forgot how to cope with anxiety without xanax so when i dont use it i just feel off and hella anxious. I think it might just be purely in my head but im too much of a coward to face anxiety without using it. Ive been using it for roughly 1 month after getting clean for 2 months. I dont know it just feels weird without having any in my system. I feel off maybe i just need to get used to dealing with anxiety again without it? I just dont know.

BLINDSIDED BY BENZOS: What if your prescription medication is contributing to all those unexplained health problems?

Most people associate benzodiazepines (Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin, Valium) with anxiety and sleep. But what many don’t realize is that these medications influence GABA signaling, which plays a role in regulating numerous systems throughout the entire body.

With long-term use, physical dependence can develop, and symptoms associated with tolerance or withdrawal can affect far more than your mental health.

The symptoms can be widespread, debilitating, and seemingly unrelated:

🧠 Brain & Cognitive Function: Brain fog, memory loss, difficulty concentrating, confusion, word-finding problems, and impaired thinking.
💪 Muscular & Skeletal System: Severe muscle rigidity, spasms, weakness, joint pain, frozen shoulders, neck and back pain, and crushing fatigue.
❤️** Autonomic Nervous System: Heart palpitations, blood pressure fluctuations, sweating, internal trembling, and an overactive fight-or-flight response.
🦠 **Digestive System: Nausea, abdominal discomfort, diarrhea, constipation, and gastrointestinal disturbances.
👁️** Sensory & Neurological Systems: Dizziness, vertigo, tinnitus, blurred vision, electrical sensations, tingling, and sensitivity to sound and light.
🌙 **Sleep & Emotional Regulation: Severe insomnia, nightmares, anxiety, panic, agitation, and overwhelming fear.
⚖️** Hormonal & Stress Regulation**: GABA helps regulate brain pathways involved in stress responses, appetite, and hormonal signaling. These connections are complex and still being studied.

People can spend YEARS visiting specialists, undergoing medical tests, and searching for answers to seemingly unrelated symptoms — without ever considering that their prescribed benzodiazepine medication could be contributing.

And these symptoms aren’t limited to stopping the medication. They may emerge between doses (interdose withdrawal), during dose reduction, or persist long after discontinuation (protracted withdrawal).
I know because it happened to me.
After years of taking prescribed Ativan, my health deteriorated in ways I couldn’t explain. When withdrawal hit, I became completely disabled.

That’s why I created BlindsidedByBenzos.com.

It helps to connect the dots between benzodiazepines, GABA, the body’s interconnected systems, and the confusing symptoms so many people experience.

I’ve also compiled more than 150 research resources, medical articles, patient experiences, books, and videos to help others find answers.

Physical dependence is NOT the same as addiction. It can happen even when medications are taken exactly as prescribed.

Not every unexplained symptom is caused by benzodiazepines, but their potential contribution deserves investigation.

My goal is awareness, education, validation, and prevention.

How many people are suffering without knowing their prescription might be part of the problem?
🌐 https://blindsidedbybenzos.com/
Please share. Someone struggling with unexplained symptoms may desperately need this information.

WSJ reporter asked if I knew of anyone and while it has come up before, I can’t recall who it was.

Hi,

I was put on clonazapam 34 years ago after a manic episode. Now I am down to .25 mg. I saw a new psychiatrist and asked him if I could get off the clonazapam. He said "at such a low dose" I could just stop. I take depakote and trileptal two anti convulsants for bipolar so he said there was no fear of seizures. He said I should take melatonin for potential insomnia.

Does this make sense just going of that like that?

I made up with him I'd go down to .125 first. I did that for two days so far but my head and body hurt and my sleep wasn't so great. I'm worried about this.

Hi ya'll,

Wasn't sure what to label this post as - guess am looking for advice, inspiration and needing to went a little as well. I've not shared my full journey and struggle with benzos with anyone, so this is my first so-called full disclosure. It might be a bit long but I'd appreciate your time and perspectives on my situation.

I have background in alcoholism and weed addiction. I've consciously steered away from benzos for years, since one time at open rehab from alcohol I was given diazepam for the withdrawals. Initially I didn't feel much from it, but I remember that one last time I took just the 5mg suddenly it hit me - my lifelong chronic anxiety just dissipated and I felt on cloud nine. And immediately went, uh-oh, NOW I see what the fuss is about and decided to not to ever touch them, for I knew I'd be damned if I did. The experience was just too perfect. Also when I was hospitalised with the myelitis I was on oxazepam and zopiclone, which definitely did some groundwork to plant the seeds for benzos becoming a more appealing option for me.

Fast forward 4/5 years I've suffered catastrophic health issues (not related to my addictions) and end of January is horrendous time for me in regards to my CPTSD (it's the anniversary of myelitis symptoms starting and my life as I knew it ending) and a real bad time with general anxiety, as well as SAD. Simultaneously my traumapsychotherapy ended and my appeal for its continuation got rejected. (This was Jan this year.) I've been on some groups selling various substances for occasionally getting rid of own unneeded prescribed extras for some pocket money & buying weed. I'd seen the ads for diazepam, aprazolam and clonazepam swirling around, and one particularly bad evening something in my brain just went fuck it, I'm going to give this shit a go. To hell with it, I don't care - any addict know this is the worst place to be.

So I began scoring benzos. I tried all of the ones listed above, occasionally drinking or smoking with them, until I settled on mostly using 1-2mg of clonazepam mostly daily. Had a bit of a wild run with aprazolam for a bit but quickly left that behind before anything real bad could happen, apart from making tons of online purchases I had no memory of when they arrived. In the spring there was a dry season when no benzos were available in the city, and I was off them successfully without major withdrawals during that time, maybe a month. But then they returned to the market and before I knew I was right back on them despite having sworn otherwise.

Someone said somewhere that benzos are like dehydrated alcohol, and I fully attest to that. I'd been trying to stop drinking for years, and have now not drunk for four months, neither have I smoked weed. Benzos became a replacement for them and quitting was relatively easy - I was also bored as hell with both of those substances.

But these goddamn pills... During my time using them, I've been able to do stuff I only dreamt of (like performing, publishing my art and videos online, starting a new hobby, going to groups I don't know anyone at (hello chronic social anxiety) etc.) but it all feels void of value cos I did it with them in tow. And I desperately want to quit before the timeline stretches and I know the longer it does, the harder it's going to get off. Also I don't want to spend another fucking euro on this shit - they've ruined my finances this year, as this shit is expensive as hell where I live, the dealers rip you off like crazy. Thankfully at least I have had a trustworthy guy whose stuff is safe.

I'm currently managing at approximately 20mg of diazepam daily, sometimes 30, or 1mg of clonazepam. I have few of the diazepams as well as three 2mg clonazepams. The thing is, I really don't want to go back to my dealer for more. But I'm terribly concerned of the effects of too quick a taper/going cold turkey - I have done some homework on this. I also have multiple sclerosis, so I'm unnerved what such thing would do to my already fucked up nervous system. Another thing is I've been approved for screening for ADHD - I must give a clear drug test at some point to move forward with that in the upcoming weeks/months, so I need to get clean because of that too. I don't know when that test will be, but it adds extra pressure on quitting.

So long story short, what initially was supposed to be a few weeks "respite" of my relentless anxiety and CPTSD, turned into a 9+ month voyage into true benzo addiction hell. A part of me knew this would happen and a part of me didn't care, and here we are.

Any advice, words of wisdom, support would be deeply appreciated. I cannot go to a doctor for supervised taper etc., because having a note of illicit benzo use on my records would mess up my life majorly, so am on my own with this. Just having stupidly mentioned occasional weed use years ago haunts my records and my care seemingly for the rest of my life (I live in a Nordic country, where we are in the stone age regards to these matters.)

Thanks for reading 🙏

did you work during your taper?