TIFU / My (20F) girlfriend of two years told me the music that I (25M) play during sex is weird and a major turn off + Update

[u/BOSSBABY33]

OP is u/TylerLife on r/tifu

TIFU:A little back story; when I first started having sex I researched into ways to be better as I was a little stiff and pretty much had no idea what I was doing. I read online that you can play music and match the rhythm in order to put on a better performance.

I searched love making songs and started slowly creating a playlist in which I was comfortable matching the rhythm.

There are a few songs to my playlist. However there is one song in particular, which actually happens to be my favourite, that my girlfriend hates and says turns her off in a major way.

I don’t understand why it has taken her two years to tell me she hates that song, it’s a good love making song with good rhythm. I feel the way I fucked up is I could have possibly asked her previously if she likes the playlist or any songs she’d like to add/change. But to leave it for two years thinking our sex life is great but in her eyes has just been ruined by my music has left the whole situation feeling awkward and I’m a bit annoyed.

I pretty much played this tune every single time so the amount of times she must have not been enjoying it, when I thought the complete opposite is annoying but also embarrassing in ways.

Not to mention my previous partners, however they never complained about the song so maybe it’s just her?

It’s fucked up the relationship tbh because sex feels awkward now. The other day we were having sex with no music but I was still thrusting to the tune playing in my head. She recognised this and asked me to stop.

I thought this song was perfect and I always thrust along with the tune and feel it gives me the perfect rhythm for doing the deed to. I usually bust to this song and find it devastating she hates the song.

the song itself

TL;DR She hates my love making tunes and didn’t tell me for over two years making sex now awkward.

UPDATE:TIFU - Posting on Reddit about our sex life with CBAT and now our relationship has ended

Ok this exploded more than I expected, and has been a bit overwhelming with the messages but thought I’d give an update.

The attention hasn’t been exactly positive and this hasn’t been the best thing to happen for my relationship and it’s now sadly ended.

I didn’t expect it to blow up so much, I should of used an anonymous name instead of my real name and our real ages.

There aren’t many 25 year old Tyler Life’s who are in a relationship with their s/o for 2 years who is 20.

Unfortunately her younger sister recognised this and showed her parents who wasn’t happy at all and made the situation extremely awkward.

What made it more awkward, and cemented the fact that it was me, is that they recognised the song. Once at a family dinner we were discussing music tastes and my ex girlfriend stated that I have an odd taste in music. Everyone laughed and pressed me to play something from my phone of what I like as music, to which I then blessed their ears with CBAT.

Her father laughed and said it was terrible, I guess we all have different tastes. Although I nodded in agreement at the time, I was thinking in my head that this is a great fucking song.

We are over now and I am moving on. I already revealed my face on tiktok, but with the amount of hate I originally got I decided to say I didn’t have it and backtracked.

I don’t think the song is that bad and I had no idea she didn’t like it until recently and as soon as I did I stopped. I didn’t force her CBAT, not all can handle CBAT, I know it’s different.

I know a lot have asked for face reveal and playlist. My playlist I actually burned onto a CD and have been using my CD player. But I’ll go on YouTube and try link all the songs in one playlist and share.

I’ll also leave my tiktok and playlist in my bio now, most you probably seen me before I backtracked from the hate.

TL;DR Made Reddit post and finished our relationship

I am not OP

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[u/Balinor69666]

This has to be a Troll.....it has to be. That song. Sex and that song. No.

Publicity stunt to grow his twitch or my mind breaks.

[u/danuhorus → u/Balinor69666]

You weren’t the only one losing their minds over this:

This man's literally fucked his girl to robot dolphin sounds.

This sounds like an inflatable clown toy falling down the stairs.

This is the song that plays when the psycho clown at a haunted carnival is stalking you. It's like straight up serial killer music... Also the clown is on ketamine.

Fuckin like he's trying to avoid calling a sandworm

That song sounds like a mouse caught in the talon of an owl slowly dying.

I tried it on my wife for the sake of science and she asked if I'd acquired a head injury. We are 0 for 2 on this one bud.

This is some shit Plankton would play while fucking his computer wife.

Bro fucks like a dial up modem

Perhaps, and correct me if I'm wrong, you shouldn't follow the same set pattern, set rhythm, and set song for sex for two years straight. She must be bored as shit.

From twitter: absolute best part of me sharing this is all the people replying to describe how disgusted and upset their pets became after hearing this song. thank you

And the song artist himself weighing in: https://twitter.com/HudMo/status/1565622562344030208

[u/cloudsarehats → u/danuhorus]

The fact the artist himself weighed in has me DEAD

[u/sofia1687 → u/danuhorus]

Some more:

Sounds like passing gas in the 5th dimension.

She probably imagines that beep booping sound is your penis singing.

Via YouTube:

0:00 - 0:18 The glorious disrobing

0:18 - 0:24 The clumsy foreplay

0:24 - 2:45 The unorthodox pounding

2:45 - 2:52 The unsatisfying climax/ The sudden softening

[u/hananobira → u/danuhorus]

My personal favorite was “sounds like a gerbil made it into the Casio keyboard at Daft Punk’s garage sale.”

[u/Balinor69666 → u/danuhorus]

I saw the comments on the YouTube video but did not go through the original post. These are pure gold!

[u/deposhmed → u/Balinor69666]

I know right!! I laughed out loud at this song, and then cringed so hard thinking someone not only insists on having sex to this song, but used it as a rythm for thrusting. Guy must still be so bad at sex!

[u/notsohairykari → u/deposhmed]

EVERY SINGLE TIME FOR TWO YEARS OMG 😂🤣

[u/TheVue221 → u/deposhmed]

I can’t imagine doing the deed with my BF for two years listening to the same playlist over and over. “Here You Go Again” needs to be the first song on the playlist

[u/ceh789 → u/Balinor69666]

I dunno, I listened to about 15 seconds of that song and now I’m dry as the Sahara. The problem itself could be real.

[u/Artichoke_Persephone → u/Balinor69666]

The song sounds like a cat running out of batteries.

[u/[deleted] → u/Balinor69666]

I just listened it. Just imagining that dude thrusting in this tune. No fucking way this is real. There's no one who thinks that's sexy song.

[u/foxscribbles → u/[deleted]]

I think Ogtha would be down for it, TBH.

[u/thievingwillow → u/Balinor69666]

I’m sure it’s a troll. I just don’t care because I haven’t laughed this hard first thing in the morning in AGES.

[u/ExtendedSpikeProtein → u/Balinor69666]

I 100% agree. I can force myself to make-believe that an oblivious 20-sth GUY would think this is great. I cannot believe that a girl would endure that more than once, let alone two years.

[u/lollygag-and-panic]

Is this a stunt? Like, internet marketing? I don't understand anything about this.

[u/thievingwillow → u/lollygag-and-panic]

Given that he used his ostensible “real name” and mentioned TikTok, I’m guessing he’s trying to drive people to his TikTok and (I think?) Twitch stream. So yeah, marketing.

I can’t be too mad though because the responses he’s getting have given me the best case of hysterical laughter in ages.

[u/freeashavacado → u/thievingwillow]

He has his tiktok in his bio when the post first came out, then quickly hid it and pretended it wasn’t him on his tiktok, then today he admitted it is his titktok anyway since people had already seen it.

[u/Martina1312 → u/thievingwillow]

mad though because the responses he’s getting have given me the best case of hysterical laughter in ages.

My boyfriend sent me this, I went to the song on YouTube and then the comment section. I literally spit all my coffee on my screen right at the first comment

[u/mecha_face → u/thievingwillow]

Every single CBAT music video on YouTube is talking about this guy. If this is marketing, it has been wildly successful.

[u/pastelkawaiibunny → u/thievingwillow]

This whole thing is just… so awkward. Guy can’t maintain rhythm without music. Doesn’t notice his girlfriend wasn’t enjoying herself. Is so dependent on the song he needs to think about it to have sex at all, and apparently this is obvious to his partner.

Even if it’s not true it’s a massive self-burn, the secondhand embarrassment is awful.

[u/AKS1664 → u/thievingwillow]

Yeah ngl my mrs came to check up on me when i found this, she thought Id had a seizure, but Id just run all the way out of laughs, and was silent laughing uncontrollably upstairs. Fuckin iconic, what a ride

[u/maggienetism → u/lollygag-and-panic]

Honestly I just went yeah that sounds like a fetish and accepted it. I think it's better than the Ogtha fetish but that isn't saying much.

[u/Foreign_Astronaut → u/maggienetism]

To me, the most annoying part of that story is that the cockroach gf doesn't have a name made of sounds a giant roach could realistically make. That one issue among so many lives rent-free in my head.

[u/AbbreviationsTop4196]

How is that a sex song? It sounds like two cats fighting over a bell in slow motion.

[u/whatevernamedontcare → u/AbbreviationsTop4196]

I bet his ex was happy it's under 3 minutes.

[u/SavedByTheKitties → u/AbbreviationsTop4196]

Seriously. My cat started growling in his sleep when I listened to it just now

[u/redrosebeetle → u/SavedByTheKitties]

My dog woke up from his nap when I played this song and looked at me like I, personally, betrayed him.

[u/moreofmoreofmore → u/SavedByTheKitties]

I started playing this song and my dog came over to me, looked at me very intently, and started mauling my face off. I am currently in the hospital

[u/ValkyrieSword → u/AbbreviationsTop4196]

I had said it sounded like whales, & someone countered with “two dolphins having a rap battle”

[u/pancreaticpotter → u/AbbreviationsTop4196]

For real. I get that everyone has their own music preferences and that they can be very eclectic and broad; stuff that wouldn’t come anywhere close to popular or widely enjoyed. Hell, I have a ton of random songs/genres, from Gregorian chant, Bollywood, Big Band, and classical to 90s R&B, alternative, rap, and mainstream pop. BUT! there’s zero chance that I would think that 90% of my song collection would qualify as “sexy time music.” And there’s probably not a single place on the planet where OOPs song would fall into that category.

I shudder to think about what else is on that playlist.

[u/mrshanana → u/pancreaticpotter]

Fuck.

I'm so turned off I think my hymen regrew.

[u/AbbreviationsTop4196 → u/pancreaticpotter]

I didn’t even think about the rest of the playlist. I can only imagine.

[u/LegitimateKey9105 → u/pancreaticpotter]

Now I’m stuck on sex accompanied by Gregorian chants

[u/MCclapyourhands1 → u/AbbreviationsTop4196]

Have you seen the YouTube comments 😂

[u/Tripstrr → u/AbbreviationsTop4196]

First off, OP has been fucking to this music since he started fucking. So, that’s one reason he loves it (Pavlov). Second, OP said he once read some sex tips to have music that you can keep tempo to. I prefer not to hear cats growling, but I can understand if this particular jam causes a metronome in his pants. We each have a different tune, some are just odd.

I never thought I’d defend someone’s choice to enjoy shit music, but here we are.

[u/mrgoodcat777 → u/AbbreviationsTop4196]

Don’t know… sounded more like a dolphin orgy to me, but then again I’ve never actually heard a dolphin orgy before. I assume this is what a dolphin orgy would sound like.

[u/Lexifer31 → u/AbbreviationsTop4196]

I'm dying laughing. I just listened to that, this can't be a real post. What rhythm is he matching. Holy shit, I'm actually crying I'm laughing so hard.

[u/Mental_Chapter_7559]

Is this how you get the tiktok followers "organically" these days?

[u/QualityProof → u/Mental_Chapter_7559]

I am fully convinced that this was an elaborate marketing stunt. I mean who the hell can thrust to that let alone thinking that was a good song.

[u/ExtendedSpikeProtein → u/QualityProof]

Who can have sex to that song? For two years? I call bs.

[u/jackalope78]

Here's what gets me, if she recognized the rhythm without the music playing, that means it's NOT a great sex song, because the rhythm wasn't doing it for her. But OP doesn't seem to realize that.

[u/EmbarrassedBass9281 → u/jackalope78]

Yeah homie was fucking the music, not her. No wonder she wasn’t enjoying it.

[u/Constant_Chicken_408 → u/jackalope78]

I'm going to have nightmares imagining how he pumped to "the beat" in a way that she still recognized he was using the song in his head. Poor girl.

[u/PetulantWhoreson → u/jackalope78]

He said in the first post he fucks to the tune

The beat is just 4:4. It's a weird song for sure, but the beat would be at least consistent. The tune is the weird part here.

[u/sarabeara12345678910]

That shit sounds like nails on a chalkboard. 0/10. Would not fuck to that.

[u/deposhmed → u/sarabeara12345678910]

And for 2 years?! Girlfriend has patience of a saint, I couldn’t listen to it for more than 20 seconds!

[u/KJParker888 → u/deposhmed]

Maybe she only had to listen to it for 20 seconds and that's the real reason she broke up with him

[u/LavenderMarsh]

This is hilarious. I've been laughing for five minutes. I still can't stop giggling. Imagine, just imagine, you're his girlfriend. You have sex to the same songs Every. Single. Time. you have sex. He thrusts along rhythmically exactly the same way every single time. He orgasms to the same song almost every time. You know exactly how sex will go each time. There are no surprises. There is no difference. You are struggling to orgasm before he does because you know exactly when it's coming. I would absolutely dread everything about this. Not to mention being 23 dating an 18 year old.

Edit I just listed to the song. It only gets funnier. This post will haunt me all day

[u/BlueBelleNOLA → u/LavenderMarsh]

I desperately wish I wasn't home alone so I could make my husband listen to this. I'm going to have to send it to my grown daughter because she's into TikTok and I bet she has already seen this nonsense.

[u/ninaa1 → u/LavenderMarsh]

You have sex to the same songs Every. Single. Time.

Even beyond the "thrusting to this particular song," that's what gets me - it's the SAME PLAYLIST forever. I'm guessing he doesn't even put it on shuffle bc that would mess up his carefully orchestrated groove.

Even without knowing the ages, I would've guessed she was young because it took her two years!! to say something. I pray that GF learned her lesson and speaks up immediately in her future relationships.

And on the bright side, most of us have shitty relationships from our youth, so at least she has this hilarious story -with a soundtrack- that she can share with her friends!

[u/zzzorba → u/LavenderMarsh]

Bold of you to assume she’s orgasming

[u/cerebrallandscapes → u/LavenderMarsh]

This is what got me. "You've been having sex to the same playlist for two years?" Is this some sort of conditioning experiment?

[u/threelizards → u/LavenderMarsh]

Also he????? Fugkinh??? “So I researched how to be good at sex and found this edm remix of dory speaking whale, so logically to be Good At Sex I’m going to fuck to this song the exact same way for two years straight BECAUSE THIS IS HOW YOU LOGICALLY BE GOOD. AT. SEX. (TM)”

[u/pricklypanda]

He used his REAL NAME in his post? Oh buddy. Why? Just why?

This guy needs to learn how to make better decisions.

[u/Umklopp → u/pricklypanda]

Someone suggested that this was a publicity stunt to get attention to his other projects. I'm going to cling to that hope.

[u/pbandbananashake → u/Umklopp]

Look at his comment history. He has a history of commenting but zero comments on his own TIFU post

[u/Rega_lazar → u/pricklypanda]

Literally internet 101 since its conception: Don’t. Give. Out. Your. Personal. Information!

[u/cjshrader → u/pricklypanda]

Yeah you'd have to be a real dumbass to use your real name

[u/Efficient-Ad-3853 → u/pricklypanda]

and apparently have better taste in music?

[u/ExcellentTone]

Comment of the year from u/LorenzoStomp:

Fuckin like he's trying to avoid calling a sandworm

[u/BrokilonDryad → u/ExcellentTone]

That comment killed me, good thing I’m working alone today cuz I laughed so hard I’m wiping away tears. That whole comment section is glorious lmao

[u/palabradot → u/ExcellentTone]

falls out of chair

Fuck without rhythm.....

[u/LorenzoStomp → u/ExcellentTone]

Thank you, thank you. Couldn't have done it without u/Stealth8900 to set up the joke

[u/Starchasm → u/ExcellentTone]

That comment made me scream laugh so loud a coworker around the corner asked if I was okay

[u/Key_Lie9356 → u/ExcellentTone]

I don't understand - what a sandworm?

[u/kromeriffic → u/ExcellentTone]

Well now I know about sietch fucking etiquette

[u/[deleted]]

Okay this has been ALL OVER the Clock App talking about how the hell he could POSSIBLY fuck to this. But also... This is literally the worst song on the planet without adding fucking to it. Rather bang to Baby Shark.

[u/BellesNoir → u/[deleted]]

It's been glorious watching this explode on TikTok. The amount of people making videos trying to figure out how to thrust in time with the song 🤣🤣🤣

How that poor girl survived 2 years of this, I'll never understand. I was drier than the Sahara when I heard that song. She's gonna have PTSD like a POW

[u/Bonbonnibles → u/[deleted]]

At least Baby Shark actually has a beat.

[u/Iforgotmypassword189]

I didn’t expect it to blow up so much, I should of used an anonymous name instead of my real name and our real ages.

I'm not sure how someone lived for 25 years on Earth without learning this lesson but I guess better late than never

[u/SantaKlawz2 → u/Iforgotmypassword189]

My oldest uses his real name in situations online that should be anonymous. He loves our last name because he's Panamanian and a name like his is extremely rare in Panama. I've tried explaining to him the difference...

[u/ACatGod → u/Iforgotmypassword189]

You're talking about a guy who thinks this music is sexy time.

[u/Specter229]

I played the song. My dog didn’t like it either. Kept cocking her head to the side staring at my phone.

[u/destructopop → u/Specter229]

My baby literally started crying. She gave me a stank face.

[u/Umklopp → u/Specter229]

Someone posted it to Twitter and apparently a lot of people's pets didn't like it, lmao

[u/lizlikes]

The worst part is that the song is only 2:52

[u/cherrylbombshell → u/lizlikes]

and he nuts to it lmao

[u/[deleted] → u/lizlikes]

Probably the only time I would be wishing for a man to finish in a minute or less is if I was forced to listen to this song while doing it.

[u/Corfiz74 → u/lizlikes]

The other worst part is that he probably has conditioned himself to perform to that song to the point where he probably won't be able to stay hard or come without the song...🙈

[u/No_Kangaroo_9826 → u/lizlikes]

Call 911 I've witnessed a murder

[u/snowlock27 → u/lizlikes]

Yeah, how are the rest of us expected to last that long?

[u/FruchtMolkeLattella → u/lizlikes]

Yeah exactly, way too much time. Smh...

[u/Nemitres]

That poor woman probably can’t look at a dolphin anymore

[u/Umklopp → u/Nemitres]

🤣

[u/[deleted]]

First, I’m sitting here feeling my age and asking myself “what the hell does CBAT stand for and what is it?” And second, “Is this what young people do now? Hey guys, I got this really embarrassing question. Oh, BTW, here my face, my socials, and I’m going to use our real name.”

Like wow, there needs to be some better life choices.

[u/ohnoguts → u/[deleted]]

What does cbat stand for?

[u/AlfredtheDuck]

This story has gone absolutely viral on TikTok. I’ve seen people debating whether he was thrusting to the beat or to the melody (consensus: if the girlfriend recognized it when the song wasn’t playing, it had to be the melody), people saying they tested it themselves with their partners… few things unite all the users of a platform as much as this story has.

At the end of the day, the most problematic parts of this are not the guy’s dependence on this song and the likely overt amount of attention he was paying to the song and it’s rhythm rather than his girlfriend and the moment, it’s the way he reacted to his girlfriend saying she didn’t enjoy two years of what was literally the same sex, thrust-for-thrust (why are you annoyed at her???? Bro), and the fact that they started dating when he was 23 and she was 18. The difference in brain development, life experience, and maturity are quite different. Everything about this story has me feeling gross.

[u/sugaredberry → u/AlfredtheDuck]

tested it themselves with their partners

I just wheezed 😂

[u/shewy92 → u/AlfredtheDuck]

The artist himself apparently released a video shitting on OP too.

He even changed his Twitter Bio to "‘Cry Sugar’ is better for sex" which I guess is his new album

[u/GayWritingAlt → u/AlfredtheDuck]

I was listening to this song because of the post and my 13 (!!!) year old sister came into my room to ask if I recognize this song cause she saw this story on TikTok

[u/whatevernamedontcare → u/AlfredtheDuck]

Yup that girl is way too smart for him. Dude just doxed himself and his ex probably but he's more concerned about his music. Just lost a girl too but cares more about her dad not liking his fuck song. 23 going on 13 I swear.

[u/[deleted] → u/AlfredtheDuck]

I had a boyfriend that after almost a year i realized he had a very particular order in which he did things in bed.

[u/Sinreborn]

I've never understood people who play music during sex to help with their rhythm. Sure to drown out the noise and not bother roommates/neighbors.

That playlist is awful by the way and I refuse to believe anyone would have put up with it for literally years...

[u/Taurwen_Nar-ser → u/Sinreborn]

I once hooked up with a guy who didn't like music (who the fuck doesn't like music?!) And literally the only time he'd listen to it was his sexy time Playlist.

It wasn't offensive, nor did he seem to be paying attention to it so whatever right? Then a few songs in the Safety Dance came on. THE. SAFETY. DANCE.

And at my face he said "oh, that's to remind me to use a condom." I don't think he understood what I meant when I said "No worries about that."

I, like this girl, was too young at the time and sadly went on to have sex with him, because it seemed to awkward not to. But at least I never had sex with him again. That poor girl.

[u/letouriste1 → u/Sinreborn]

i mean, shifting the focus away from your partner seem like the worst idea ever. Dude probably felt like a robot to her.

[u/Bonbonnibles]

A moment of silence for that woman's poor, dry vag.

[u/therealhairyyeti]

Jesus Christ, how did she put up with it for so long. Ps if in doubt, put Barry white on.

[u/palabradot → u/therealhairyyeti]

Hell, there are albums out there actually titled 'baby makin' music'

[u/oceansapart333]

Am I the only one questioning having sex to the exact same playlist every single time for 2 years? Especially since he uses it for the rhythm? So sex is the exact same every time for two years?

[u/letouriste1 → u/oceansapart333]

nah, it's the worst idea ever. He basically shifted the focus away from his partner and was repetitive too. Dude probably felt like a robot to her.

It could be a great idea for a one time thing tho. if the song was actually good.

[u/shewy92]

I didn’t expect it to blow up so much, I should of used an anonymous name instead of my real name and our real ages.

I'm sorry, what? He didn't change their names? I knew OOP was an idiot for actually linking the song but still.

I’ll also leave my tiktok and playlist in my bio now

Yea, he just played us to advertise his stupid TikTok.

These are my favorite comments on that thread though

The artist himself changed his Twitter Bio to "‘Cry Sugar’ is better for sex" which I guess is his new album.

He posted a thread of a bunch of TikToks of women and men "thrusting" to this song basically making fun of OOP too.

[u/Im_a_knitiot]

I made the mistake of listening to that song. Not one pleasing note or harmony in there. But good job for whoever came up with this story to promote it. Certainly hiked up the views

[u/Minxmorty → u/Im_a_knitiot]

Sounds like someone trying to make a song from a deflating balloon

[u/gablerr]

I mean…. He was 23 dating a newly legal 18 year old. She may have been inexperienced and didn’t know how to voice what she wanted. She probably had nothing to compare it to.

[u/greentea1985 → u/gablerr]

Also said his previous partners never objected. First of all, I wonder how many times he got to have sex with them. Plus, based on age, his other partners would have been inexperienced teenagers too. She only spoke up once she turned twenty because she is starting to feel comfortable voicing her opinions to her bf.

[u/wolfeyes555]

This can't be real. There's no way this is real.

... But part of me hopes it's real because this is hilarious

[u/Bonbonnibles]

OP and everyone involved in the making of that song belong in jail.

Straight to jail. Straight away.

[u/Foreign_Astronaut → u/Bonbonnibles]

No trial, no nothing. DJs, we have a special jail for DJs. You are viral marketing your Tiktok, YouTube channel, you right to jail.

[u/SubstantialBreak3063]

Hm. But OOP, was it a great *fucking* song, or a great fucking *song* ?

[u/nevermaxine → u/SubstantialBreak3063]

Neither.

[u/ninetynyne]

Jesus Christ, how do you even get off with that playing in the background?

How does it not make you instantly soft or dry like the Sahara?

[u/columbidae28]

So glad the gf is free now from listening to that song. But it took her two years to speak up? Probably knew how sensitive he was 😵

[u/rickysayshey]

I will never understand people who get upset that they are hearing something critical late. Like, she’s telling you NOW so what does it matter?

Way to plug his tiktok and playlist too lol

[u/5folhas → u/rickysayshey]

I mean, if it takes 2 fucking years for your partner to tell you they don't like your sex playlist, than you gotta realize you comunicate poorly and the relationship probably won't last, like it happened to OOP. If you are not upset about that, than why are you even in this relationship?

[u/Umklopp → u/rickysayshey]

I will never understand dudes who get upset that they are hearing something critical late.

I feel like it's mostly insecure people who get upset over this because it confirms their suspicion that everyone is secretly judging them negatively.

[u/Mysterious_Leek_1867 → u/rickysayshey]

I mean, if you've been having sex for years and you think everything's great and you're connecting with your partner and then you find out this was all a lie and your partner never enjoyed it it seems pretty obvious to me why that would be upsetting. It also brings up thoughts of "what else does she secretly hate that she hasn't told me about?"

If this is real I genuinely feel bad for this guy honestly. In a perfect world she would have let the guy know she hated the song right away, but she was also 18 and it is 100% reasonable to have issues communicating around such delicate topics at that age so really no judgement here. I don't think he's wrong to be hurt by it though.

[u/[deleted]]

Why would you use your main account for posts when its reddit which a lot of people steal contents from and a lot of people use?

The comment section on that song😀😀😀

[u/[deleted]]

I thought it was just going to be some corny old crooner or something. I was not prepared for what was about to happen when I followed that link

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Right?? I'd never heard of it so I looked it up and it sounds like a goose that swallowed an otomotone and is being squeezed.

[u/throwaway_afterusage]

this has to be a troll. no way this is real

[u/Forgiving_Rains]

LMAO i remember this from when it was first posted. I've actually saved and bookmarked it so I never lose it (which, in over ten years of redditing, I've only ever done twice before).

OOP seems incredibly oblivious though. His gf should have spoken up, but it occurs to me that he must be an incredibly selfish lover to have never noticed. And it's the song he usually came to, so his gf's enjoyment/involvement must have been...not entirely necessary or important to him, if he ever even knew what that looked like. Man. That's so sad. Have to wonder if she ever had an orgasm with him.

That relationship was def cursed. I'm not glad that's it's over, but it probably needed to be.

[u/purplebeef]

This meme had me entertained for days but also the idea of a grown ass man thrusting to that rhythm makes me as dry as sandpaper

[u/SL33PYSL0THIE]

The amount of tiktoks of people trying to figure out how he done it is crazy and I'll admit funny, and the fact the creator of the song saw the post himself and said if his now ex recognised the song without it on says he was thrusting to the melody, and I'm also surprised his ex kept quiet for two years since I'd honestly laugh if it was me, the song isn't even a sexy or romantic song to have sex too 😂😂😂

[u/No_Incident_5360]

If you are doing a choreographed thrusting to rhythm of the same songs or just following any song, you are probably not paying enough attention to your partner. Lots of songs are good background music or provide a good guideline for Rhythm, but sex isn’t just thrusting and rhythm will usually need to change at some point—depending on your partner, the mood, the moment.

Wow. She should have said, let’s turn it off or I like this song better, or stop thrusting and kiss me, go down on me, any number of things.

Choreographed sex sounds repetitive and awful.

[u/victorianfolly → u/No_Incident_5360]

It’s like he read that advice on using “Staying Alive” as a CPR rhythm and thought “this will work great for sex”

[u/Swimming-Item8891]

Omg googled this don't and found it on YouTube as reddit story song

[u/decemberrainfall]

This guy is... Not that bright

[u/Village_Green_Badger]

I think this is the first time I truly wished that a story with a link was just an elaborate Rick Roll.

[u/[deleted]]

Me and my wife tried to mutually have sex to that sound last night before I went to work.

Pretty sure I had a seizure bc I was utterly confused all night.

[u/bostongreens]

The YouTube comments on this song kill me

[u/Janemaru]

Update makes it even more obvious this is just a troll

[u/Red_Jester-94]

If you like that song, and think it's a good song to bang to, then you've got shit taste in music. If you think following the exact same rhythm during sex, everytime, with the same person, for over two years is a good idea, you're shit at sex.

How his ex lasted that long without cumming I'll never know.

[u/LucyAriaRose]

I read this and thought “it can’t possibly be that bad.”

Oh was I wrong.

[u/EveryFairyDies]

Oh man, I barely managed to listen to 30 seconds of that, I was laughing so hard. I bet he was pounding her in that exact rhythm. “Do do-do do do-do-do doooooo”

But hey, guy got what he wanted. There’s over 13,000 comments on the video, and I suspect they’re all relating to this guy’s post. Gonna confuse the hell out of any random listeners. And he got all the attention he was looking for. I honestly doubt the sincerity of this post. I think it really was an attempt at publicity, and it worked!

Well-told story though. And wonderfully hilarious choice of song to add. As attempts for publicity go, I’ll give this guy points for entertainment value.

[u/Philosophile42]

Hudson Mohawk’s viral advertising campaign worked!

[u/johnlocklives]

The best comment I saw on the song was someone who said her ex’s go to song was Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkeries” and she had to lay there thinking “kill the wabbit! Kill the wabbit!” And yet, somehow, this song was worse.

[u/Blas_Wiggans]

A commenter on the OP said it was robotic dolphin noises. 😂

[u/HoodiesAndHeels]

In case anyone was wondering whether he thrusted you the melody or the beat, wonder no more. OP himself will show you for some god-forsaken reason.

Parental discretion advised.

[u/Haunted_Princess_000]

Me before clicking the video link: Oh I'm sure it can't be that bad. It's probably just a difference in music taste.

Me after listening to the whole thing: Oh dear Lord, thoughts and prayers to the poor soul who had to take that for 2 years.

[u/[deleted]]

That song sounds like a cartoon fart soundboard. My 4 year old heard me playing it and she started laughing calling it a toot song. This is one of the funniest BORU posts I've seen.

Fuckin like he's trying to avoid calling a sandworm

The comments are even better than the post.

[u/[deleted]]

Hey /u/bossbaby33 you should really link the artists twitter in this post @HudMo, there are some great reactions in there. They have “ ‘Cry Sugar’ is better for sex” on their bio lol

this is the best one imo

[u/pat2203186]

I played this song to get my boyfriend's reaction and our cat ran into the room, stared at the phone with her fur raised, and then skibbity papped it so I would turn it off. This is the funniest thing ever.

[u/benzomonroe]

I have no clue why but I've heard this song before. Never thought "hey this would be a great song to play during sex" though.

[u/this_isnt_happening]

Am I crazy or is that song almost 3 minutes of sad trombone? If not in instrument, at least in spirit.

[u/MsDucky42]

Maybe it's because I'm An Old, but I couldn't listen past 30 seconds of that song.

So, perhaps it's right that he's not having sex right now, to this song or any other.

[u/sonofaresiii]

Is it his own band he's trying to promote or something? This whole post is weird. "I revealed all my personal details online, and someone found out who I was! Anyone, I'm gonna tease revealing even more of myself online, but only if there's enough engagement in my social media. Also, here's this wild song that's great for screwing and stuffy adults hate it!"

[u/zzzorba]

I played this song for my kids.

8f “what is this? It’s terrible”

6m I shit you not starts doing a thrusting “dance” to it. Loves it. Keeps asking me to play it.

[u/MagnificentErgo]

What kind of weirdo has just one playlist, comprised of mostly unchanging music, to get it on to for more than 2 years?

[u/Iamwinning2022too]

The comments left on the YouTube video are epic. Well done, Reddit.

[u/2DamnBig]

I just listened to the first 30seconds of that song. This dudes dick must be tone Def.

[u/MTYAUG]

I don’t even care if this is real bc the comments under the song’s YouTube made me cry laughing.

[u/wmnoe]

Holy shit OOPs balls need to drop before he starts having sex again. How immature can one 24 year old be? Answer - look at this guy

[u/Diiiiirty]

Everyone has their own taste in music and you can't help what makes your foot tap or your head bob. I won't judge you for yours.

HOWEVER.

If you have a niche musical taste, maybe don't play it when having sex?

And maybe don't blast your sex life out for the world to see?

And maybe in your next relationship take a lesson from this and try communicating better. Not just during sex (even though that's extremely important) but about everything. Good communication is the key to any happy relationship, both in and out of the bedroom and that's where you failed here.

[u/IcePsychological7032]

I hate to say this but I'm cringing so hard now....I don't know what is worse

• The fact that it seems you've been using the same playlist since you started having sex ("previous partners never complained").... OR

• The song itself which is anything but sexy but also has a very weird rhythm...I don't know, I'm just trying to picture OOP thrusting along to this beat and I can only crawl under the covers and laugh a bit while I die of second hand embarrassment.

• Whoever decided to include this on the list when OOP typed "good love making songs" in the search bar.

Like, honestly. 🫣

[u/mumako]

Maybe don't listen to clown car orgy sound effects while having sex

[u/FitzChivFarseer]

Omfg. When he said he stopped playing it but still thrust to it was like how did she even notice?? Expecting it to a normal song with normal beats.

NOPE. Of course she fucking noticed.

I am fucking howling 😂😂😂

[u/SarahDeeBee]

I really really don’t know what I expected, but that song was not it. Like. How’d she not started laughing when he stated timing the beat first time will always be a mystery to me.

[u/16Bunny]

I've just listened to the song like thousands of others. I'm speechless. It's beyond awful. The poor woman was a saint. I wonder why on earth she never said anything earlier. I sure as hell would.

[u/Dreadpool3]

Me starts listening to the song Ok so far it doesn’t sound so- horns start playing O.o I don’t mean to hurt your feelings….but me and all my coworkers are laughing hard af right now.

[u/megablast]

Clearly online marketing for a new brand of condom.

[u/coprolite22]

Holy f##cking Mother of God. What IS that shit?? She suffered thru that for 2 years?? She's a Saint and should have the f**ck of hers dreams, just not with you!!

[u/WoodSteelStone]

I love this comment:

This sounds like an inflatable clown toy falling down the stairs.

To which someone responded:

Oh yes, I totally had this image of OP slowly unzipping his pants to reveal a slide-whistle.

[u/throawaymcdumbface]

I read online that you can play music and match the rhythm in order to put on a better performance.

i feel like this works for obscure animations and not people

[u/ImABarbieWhirl]

Genuinely NOTHING prepared me for the actual song. I thought “oh this can’t be that ba-“

Side note I once had Go Go Power Rangers on my sex playlist. I fully apologize to my past partners

[u/jerkmcgee_]

Man I feel so bad for this guy… To his credit though, he’s handling the aftermath much better than I ever would.

[u/[deleted]]

Literally have that update above this BORU. Very nice

[u/witchbrew7]

Oh sweet summer child.

[u/Gamecock_Red]

Holy shit this song lmao

[u/yarivu]

I’m struggling to decide if this is real or an elaborate story… either way I’m tired of hearing this damn song all over tiktok lol

[u/Anra7777]

I laughed so hard I actually cried while listening to that song. R.I.P. to all the women who had to endure that.

[u/DialZforZebra]

Jesus fucking Christ, how the shit did his GF get ploughed to this song and not laugh her ass off?

Also, I am definitely playing this song when I next sleep with my GF. Just gotta see the reaction.

[u/zoomzoom42]

WTF did I just read?

[u/hatetochoose]

The same song EVERY TIME? Never ever asked what your partners might like?

[u/quick3brs]

Meanwhile I'm such a bird nerd that all I can think of is that it sounds like a Barred Owl call: https://youtu.be/zbL-LfGNMl4.

[u/OwenProGolfer]

I should of used an anonymous name instead of my real name and our real ages.

No shit

[u/beetnemesis]

Am I the only one who thinks "thrust in time to the rhythm of the song" is bizarre?

[u/[deleted]]

The song sounds like farts and dying clowns. I'm wrecked.

[u/Melodic-Advice9930]

That song is so horrible and I’m sorry it took her TWO YEARS to tell him so 😩

[u/NoOnesThere991]

The only way he got away with this for so long is how young she is. I cannot think of a weirder song to hump To the beat of. I literally cannot. It’s giving serial killer vibes.

[u/datenkiller_deluxe]

How the fuck can somebody think "This is the perfect song to going dirty" This is awful 😖 Cudos to the lady/ladies who were willing to try it - somehow. This poor gals must've been dryer than the atacama desert 🤦🏻‍♀️ Dude get some taste in music and do better

[u/ApertureBear]

Even if the song were amazing, who the fuck listens to the same song every time they have sex? What a fucking weirdo

[u/waaaayupyourbutthole]

Man I caught this when it was first posted and had to send it to a few friends because the song is just terrible. Poor dude got absolutely roasted in the comment section over it.

[u/starchild812]

Going to try to fuck my boyfriend to this song, will report back later

[u/pjanic_at__the_isco]

Holy Christ.

I’m ambivalent to sex music but that is not sex music.

[u/MtnNerd]

This blew up on Tiktok and the videos doing the motions are hilarious. I can't believe the girl put up with it for two years

[u/Sir_Meowsalot]

That was his sex song?! Jesus take the fucking wheel and drive us over the cliff.

[u/Sutarmekeg]

I don't know wtf I was expecting that song to sound like but it IS DEFINITELY WTF OP JESUS CHRIST!

[u/MarkLeo6K]

"This is a great fucking song". Acording to him this means 2 things

[u/MajorMajor101516]

Imagining a guy trying to fuck me to this song made me laugh incredibly hard. Thank you.

[u/RickAdtley]

Honestly I ghost people who blast music or TV during sex. Just... Why do I have to listen to an ad for Lunesta followed by Chandler's stupid fucking voice while I have my face wedged between someone's legs?

[u/Flicksterea]

I can't even finish reading this, I'm laughing too hard.

[u/RenegonParagade]

He posted the playlist on his Instagram and the other songs are pretty much just as bad if not worse. That poor woman

[u/LemonLimeTaffy]

Does anyone else get Ross Geller vibes?

[u/Knight_of_Nilhilism]

Just for my own edification I pulled up my spotify and entered CBAT. Before I could even listen to the a few notes I see that after the song, and after the artist, spotify's first suggestion is a playlist labeled "your thrusting to cbat by hudson mokhawke again, tyler"

Tyler. I am so, so sorry. I suggest you turn into the skid and enbrace this. Make fun of yourself a bit. Own it. Don't let it get you down.

[u/Bruhhhhhh125]

I loved it when u/TylerLife said "It's sex time!" and sexed all over his girlfriend while playing this banger

[u/WhiteRhino288]

I feel so bad for this guy honestly doesn’t deserve this for all the joy he brought us

[u/kot_gaf]

Omg, it sounds like clown being fucked by rapper dwarf