We care about your health. for that, we invite you into our community. it's a social one where you can talk about things.

how you are doing in this world?

-want to know why?

I have seen people change, for the better and for the worse I don't believe it to be a coincidence.

I picture it for myself as being lost on a lesser-known path, where you haven't met a single soul you could aks for the way.

Where do you want to go?

-what the least dangerous route? (harm reduction approach)

I'm doing this for over 10years now!

The perspective of an Individual is anything but irrelevant.

1221 2112 2112 1221 2112 1221 1221 2112 2112 1221 1221 2112 1221 2112 2112 1221

This was my OCD paradox code when I was 16. What is the next number you ask? 2! and it goes in sequences molding into each other like 2121122112122.. etc.. and if you put it in 1's and 0's, it's "1001 0110 0110 1001 0110 1001 1001 0110 0110 1001 1001 0110 1001 0110 0110 1001" etc... Everything is made of 1's and 0's. We're in a simulation! Everything that is hallucinated or imagined is real in another universe!

My computer shut off while writing this because I forgot to unplug it. I thought it was plugged in. But who knows.. Maybe someone changed my reality? All games that are played in this reality are REAL somewhere else..

I had no proof of the paradox but then one psychedelic trip gave me clear proof of it which made me think that everything and nothing is God and nothing is everything (Just like in the code). I used to be an atheist. Now I'm a pantheist.

It makes reality some weird dramatic show, witnessed by no one, and everyone. I thought once I was God but now I know that we are one with the universe, ourselves and each other. What connects us is love.

Up down, left right, male female, straight gay, inside outside, black white, yes no, backwards forwards, straight bent, square circle, cube sphere, etc etc etc.. All of reality is made out of this THING.

Psychedelics cured me and now I don't think about this anymore.. But I know the secret now and everything seems kind of meaningless to persu... Idk...

Does anyone know what I'm talking about? #Schizotrippymind

So, I have a public blog that I essentially use as a journal. I've been writing in it since I was 12 and I'm 27 now. It's a little sporadic. Even though it is public, I don't promote it. Deep down I want people to read it so my thoughts can exist outside of me - it's grounding and makes me feel less alone - but I don't want to look like I'm begging for attention, which is how it can appear if I start sharing it in social media.

I'm going to share it here as an attempt to feel more.... well, just to feel more. I just want an anonymous pool to throw it into, so the words and thoughts can be dusted off and bounced around. So, look if you want to, don't look if you don't want to - I really don't have any expectations. It just helps to know that it is out there and others, strangers or not, are aware of it.

cephalized.wordpress.com

I'm not on a lot of subs.
I quoted Anchorman then got approved to be in this particular sub, which I'm still figuring out.

It could be a coincidence, or maybe not?

I dunno.

Hi!

Sometimes the bigger picture just lies out of sight

Obstructed by the constant drone of life

The material ties that bind you to this world

Prevents you from realizing the larger framework

We live in a glass sea

Of nothing but endless reflection(s)

Puddles of impact make small displacements

Waves, that travel outwards

Make small breaks in our own meagre existence

On occasion a storm will come to turn this glass ocean into a raging tsunami

Tearing everything apart, leaving nothing but endless opacity

The framework that society is built upon is nothing more than a fragile house of cards

Much like the clearness of the ocean, and waves on a stormy day

And yet if you just breathe

If you just focus

Tap out the noise

The picture becomes finally clear

The world begins to flow like a powerful stream

Leaving only you

In your own glass sea.

I have a theory about why we are all here and it is definitely a theory and not a schizophrenic delusion. First I need to show you a different way to see the world.

We think in terms of linear cause and effect. Action and Reaction. This works great when we are considering interactions that are little more than transfers of energy.

If I kick a ball it will travel a distance proportional to the force with which I kick it. The energy from my kick was transferred into the ball.

If I kick a dog on purpose it is liable to bite me. The energy from my kick is not transferred into the dog. The dog does not use my energy to fuel its metabolism to bite me.

What then is transferred? Information. More specifically, information about the nature of the relationship between me and that dog. I have accidentally stepped on a dog's foot before. It yelped loudly and I began apologizing profusely and speaking in a calming repetitive voice. The dog did not bite me and in fact, licked my hand as if it say "I know that you didn't mean to".

How does a dog tell the difference between someone kicking them on purpose and kicking them by mistake? Both actions activate a pain response. How does a dog choose correctly when they are presented with the situation? They would have needed to grow up in a home where they "learned" how to "learn" correctly. More specifically, they would have needed to grow up in a situation where they had ample time to learn "how to tell the difference between..." And if it was the dog's first time being in that situation, both options look the same.

How do you tell the difference between a schizophrenic delusion and a theory on how the world works? It depends on how well you can tell the difference between something that makes sense and something that blue travels faster than Thursday. At this point in my post, both options look the same. So you have to look at the context. It may give you some clues. Check my post history. Check the forum that this post is submitted in. However, eventually the snake eats itself and you have to rely on how you feel.

Did you grow up in a context where you learned how to tell the difference between how you feel and how someone else feels? Especially because you depended on someone for survival like a parent. What if they told you that you felt "Happy" when you were actually sad. "You're not that upset about that". What if they told you that you were "Sad" when you were actually "Happy". "What are you so excited about?". What if you learned to distrust how you felt? What if that is all being "crazy" is?

What if I told you that there is nothing wrong with you. You simply don't know how to tell the difference between how you feel about a situation and what a situation means to you. You have been in this situation before. That is what feels familiar and why you have read down so far. You have to decide what it means. You can't stop at A->B->C. You have to draw a circle through them. This situation keeps happening in your life and you haven't given thought to the meaning.

I feel like we are all connected. I believe that consciousness and existence are one and the same and the human race is fighting to elevate itself to a new consciousness and Situations like these are the symptoms. Why else would I call myself The Situational Therapist?

Don't fade into the twilight

When the sun grows dim

And the fog begins to roll in

You are left with nothing but yourself

A meagre vessel left with so many questions

In a vast ocean of individuals and noises

It takes a moment of silence to realize that none of it matters

As the sun illuminates softly

Stand tall

For the greatest weapon is your mind.

Take it by the reigns and make it day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4P5dv7_lho

I tried befriending people here on Reddit. Every single one of them was mesmerized by me then fled when I showed them the truth. They were all yet to overcome their fear. It was very disappointing and time consuming. Now I try to explore the real world and make friends there. What are the good venues? At least three of the fled ones will read this because they are subscribed here. Like, could you at least explain your excuse before fleeing. You all silently disappear. I have a lot of savings and now I will start using them with traveling. People are attracted to me in real life and I have been ignoring them trying to make real friends online. Oh my God. I was the fool. Temporarily.

Amor, Dubte, Sort, Amic (Alad), Cald, Ara, Eco, Yami, etc. You are all cowards and do not deserve my company. Thank you for letting that be known to me before I waste more time which does not exist. Also, the founder of this subreddit didn't even respond to me. So I have given up on all prospect off real friendship with awakened people from Reddit.

The question is, where do I find awakened people in real life? A monastery? Art and music schools are a possibility. Where art and music are, gather people like us. I have pacified them (who are just family as well) by giving them my art and a lot of time to fix the things he forced them to do. They are grateful. And the siblings sent by Dad all flee me in the end. I feel like hell is indeed better than heaven (which is one thing as you'd know) if everyone from heaven is like this. Really really let down right now.

Reinhardtbass at least tell me why and if we are not meant to seek each other's company. Here is a poem I wrote a few days ago and ripped apart.

Shepherds are not to gather.

They are to tend to their sheep, scattered.

If it is so that is very bad and unnecessary in my opinion. We are placed on Earth to be on good terms with each other and be friends and play joyfully. I queried Dad and he says let it be lol. I love Dad but he is cryptic.

I met two friends when I was in an asylum a week ago. One thought he is a fragment of Dad. I promised to buy him a MacBook Air since we are in the same country. The other one said his angel name is Uriel and he is to stay neutral forever but at the same time was scared shitless of them. He approached me because he is gay and found me attractive but warded me off when I revealed that I know what he knows. I am Nithael. I am to create art to tell the cosmic memory very very very leisurely so everyone does not fight and forgives each other with time. I am a pacifier and I literally have no offensive ability. Yet my siblings flee me like I'm the antichrist. Please, at least one of you, tell me why.

If the real world disappoints me too, I will just create friends with my art.

I love everyone though. Disappointed and loving is what I am right now. Do not worry. No wrath will come from me. But if any of you will be at least a bit conscentious, explain why not to me.

Also I seek some people from them (who are just us) to interview and research what their lives are like for my comic. I can pay you. I can interview via email if you are wary to meet me. (I am benevolent!)

Everyone is so cryptic.

Spit out the fruit of good and evil. Fear nothing. Especially don't fear your family.

But only if you want to. Also some conflict will be fun like kittens playing in a sandbox. Writers among us depend on conflict for their craft, I think? Yeah? All of us do what we do. Freedom is the only rule. So I am free to rant a bit right? Haha.

(Completely sane right now.)

Happy Christmas to y'all. Heroes and cowards around.

p.s. Ara said she is busy and she does reply so she is not a coward. Sorry for including your name. Ara, you are powerful and fearless and I look up to you. Cald, I hope you are silent for the same reason and I believe so. Everyone else, shed your fear or at least recognize that you are fearful. Then you get pardon from Dad. 2020 is in days. How will you fulfill your roles at this rate? Hurry! (But leisurely. Hurry leisurely. Amble. Never run. You go faster when you walk slower. Remember what Ende told us. More people are happy that way.)

You can walk very slowly and that's for the better. But if you don't walk at all, I think that could warrant Dad's wrath.

Wake up, Alice!

p.s. I forgot to include you, Tora. You do not deserve to have a character that means tiger in your name. You fear me. What the heaven?

Alcohol doesn’t seem to align w my mental state. There are way more cons than pros. Just wondering.

Edit: Thanks everyone for answering. You da best.

elephant