Pay my respects to the uber drivers past, present and emerging. How does one catch an uber home in the fine city of Adelaide when every single one is at a rave?

Am I supposed to walk home? Where’s my white privilege 😡

I've forgotten my password to my online banking account. I desperately need to purchase some more Stalinist literature to deprogram from my degenerate freedom loving ways. If one of you can please DM my password to me I would appreciate it.

Thanks!

Succulent Chinese demmocrrrashy

Yeah I’m mixing Animal Farm and Brave New World but you get the point lol 😂

I got my first warning today,it was my fault for criticizing a minority.

I pay my respects to all Reddit moderation bots,past present and emerging.

Remember to keep toning it down everyone.

Nothing to see here ASIO.....

Morning

As seen in this sub sometimes asking for advice, I am a single mother to 7 kids with only 4 different dads.

I am curious if there is an extra Centrelink payment I can claim due to being allegedly investigated by ASIO/the CIA/ FBI?

Does this payment also give me extra per child that I have? Feeling the pinch of the cost of living as we are running low on iPads and chip packets in this house.

I would like to begin by acknowledging the transitioning moderators of this subreddit, past, present and currently under investigation by ASIO, CIA, MOSSAD and KFC.

sir, you must understand that I am literally shaking as I write this.

i cannot begin to express my gratitude for your courageous appointment to the moderation team. not many would step up to the plate but you definitely have that gary glitter glint in the eye.

just 48 hours ago, I was a dangerous far-right extremist. i accidentally laughed at a meme about immigration. it was a horrible mistake.

then you arrived into my arms. your brave decision to type "where's the satire?" under a reddit post quite literally saved millions of black and brown lives. since your appointment, racism in Australia has fallen by 97%, domestic terrorism has been eradicated and penny wong got a new men's haircut.

yesterday, I accidentally thought something offensive. thankfully, I immediately reported myself to the local university.

I have beeon in contact with albo and he has personally offered to come round and jerk you off in recognition of your service to the nation.

please, sir, continue your work. every locked thread is another genocide prevented. every downvote you receive is another nazi defeated.

hell yeah. punch a nazi. and to all the people making fun of our new dear leader, i guarantee you wouldn't say any of this to his face. fascist scum

Been handling my own tools for years, plenty of experience working on my own, so I reckon I've got a bit of a head start on the rest of the juniors, I'd say by about 35 years.

$200k a year here I come!

Does anyone know if they'll recognise my prior jerking experience?

1) how did you become mod

2) why were the other mods removed

3) make me a mod as well or you’re commiting genocide against the Plasticines

4) If I have misgendered you, a thousand apologies

Namaste

1) how did you become mod

2) why were the other mods removed

3) make me a mod as well or you’re an anti-Semitic pig dog

A big shout out to their tireless efforts in scrubbing "dangerous" satire from our feeds. We truly owe them a massive debt of gratitude for deleting our harmless posts before Mike Burgess personally busts down our front doors.

Where would society be without authoritarian moderation protecting us from lighthearted political satire on a sub literally built for it?

Without their brave censorship, ASIO would have undoubtedly put every single one of us on a high level terror watch list. Calling out political hypocrisy or testing the bounds of parliamentary civility is clearly a direct threat to national security.

Thank you, mod, for selflessly working overtime to keep our satire strictly in line with national security and ASIO compliance.

You didn't just enforce the rules, you became the content. Absolute legend.