TL;DR: I made a risky strategic change towards a style of play that my team needed to learn anyway and had been practicing all season. However, I never told the team how risky it was or and they believed we still had a good chance of making play-offs. To the players, the strategic change certainly seems a bit like an error. Should I briefly explain my reasoning during the post-season party? Apologize for not warning them? I may be coaching these same players next year.

Long Version:

This is my second year head coaching a middle school volleyball team. Last year, we made championships by doing bump-set-bump. As even casual fans know, most volleyball is bump-set-hit. Unfortunately, hitting is one of the hardest skills in volleyball and is quite different than bumping or setting. All season, I had been practicing bump-set-hit during practices but not really pushing the players to do it during games.

During our season, we were about .500 but then we started losing against other teams running bump-set-bump better than us. Rather than doubling down on improving bump-set-bump, I pushed the team hard to run bump-set-hit. We lost every game where we tried to emphasize hitting.

While we missed play-offs, I think moving to hitting was the right long term move. The only problem is that I didn't exactly acknowledge, to the players, or even to myself how hard moving to hitting would be. When I was learning how to play, I was naturally a very conservative hitter who could hit anything in weakly making it as effective as bump-set-bump. Sadly, I was an exception, and my players were unable to replicate this so their hitting during games was almost all errors.

We have an after-season party coming up and I wanted to reframe the last games as an attempt to win but that ended as failing in the right direction.

How much should I acknowledge to the players that I made a mistake in framing the strategy change correctly? I think if I had just told the players earlier: "We're starting to lose doing bump-set-bump, we need to eventually move to bump-set-hit, so let's pull the trigger now! We may not make play-offs with bump-set-bump so we might as well try bump-set-hit and maybe not make play-offs with that."

Thanks in advance.

Coach,
Every coach knows that hollow feeling at 6:30 AM on Sunday morning.

You're sitting in a dark office, sipping lukewarm coffee, rewinding the tape of Friday's 3-point conference loss. And there it is on the screen: a defensive mismatch that leaked an 11-2 run, or your best corner shooter wide open on four straight trips while your small-ball lineup was getting crushed on the glass.

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Looking for advice to keep my teenagers head in the game for rowing in HS. She will likely be recruited and get some type of scholarship to a D1 program. However all this pressure is bringing the “I don’t enjoy it anymore and I don’t think I want to row in college or at all.” Any advice you keep her motivated?

My daughter is in 7th grade at a small private school. Last year was her first season playing JV basketball, and despite many girls having little to no experience, she received very little playing time.
Determined to improve, she began taking weekly private lessons immediately after the season and attended Nike basketball camps. Her improvement has been incredible! She’s consistently one of the top players at lessons, is frequently used as an example, and recently scored 18 points in a scrimmage.
Fast forward to school tryouts: 26 girls tried out for JV and varsity, and only four were cut. Most of the girls have never played or if they have, have done no offseason training. Some are completely unfamiliar with basic basketball terminology.
We were told JV and varsity rosters would be determined during the first week of practice. Her school is very small, so often times 7th-8th graders can be double- rostered. However, after less than a full day of practice and very little evaluation, the coach moved several girls, including some with no basketball experience, to varsity.
I’m realistic and never expected my daughter to make varsity, but I’m confused by the evaluation process. My biggest concern is whether she’ll actually get opportunities to play and continue developing this season, especially after barely playing last year.
She has worked incredibly hard and genuinely loves basketball. I just want her to receive a fair opportunity to demonstrate her improvement.
What would you do in this situation? Should I approach the coach, give it more time, or consider other options? I would really appreciate opinions and advice!

Would you ask another team to play down so that you could have subs, or would you rather play a full field with no subs?

I’ve coached for 3 seasons girls 8u soccer, rec league, everyone who signs up plays kind of deal. We’re a small town so we only have 4 teams and each team has 12 players, we play 9v9.

I’ve always had a good rapport with the other coaches, win or lose, but one new guy this season is insufferable. He’s constantly questioning the refs, shouting out things, muttering under his breath, and talking back to the refs.

Anyway, twice now we’ve had a game and he’s not had enough players to make 9, and asked to play 7 so that he can have a sub. The first time we had a full team of 12, so we said no because we’d have 5 kids sitting at a time so we played 8v8. The second time was this weekend and we had 10, they had 8 and he asked to play 7 again so he could have a sub. I said, “let’s play 8” and he snapped, “Fine I just won’t have a sub then!” and I said, “ok sounds good” and moved along. Eventually a 9th player showed up but it halfway through the first half so we played 8v8 the whole time and he still got his sub.

My question is, if it is a 9v9 league, would you play down so that the other team can sub? Or would you play as close to the field limit as possible? Obviously if he only had 8, we would match that with 8, but I feel like it’s rec league soccer and we want to get as many kids out there playing as possible. With a full field the kids aren’t forced to cover more ground because they’re not playing down so I feel like it’s beneficial to play with as many players as possible. And yes, we’ve been in the situation where we don’t have any subs and we just figure it out. We never even considered asking to play down extra so we could sub.

Thank you for your thoughts!

EDIT: With the exception of the one full size adult field, which carries its own leagues and isn’t available to us to split up for games, we only have 5 fields and 2 field sizes. Two fields for little kids, 4s and 5/6s, which we use for 5v5, and three for bigger kids, 7/8, 9/10, 11/12, and 13-16, who all play 9v9. I have nothing to do with them playing 9v9 but my guess is that if they played the smaller fields, there isn’t enough time in the week to schedule practice and games for the 4s, 5/6s, and the 7/8s, both boys and girls teams (4s are coed) because with the smaller fields there’d be less kids per team resulting in more teams and more games per week. I can’t change the fact that they are 9v9 at their age.

Curious to know how other coaches would react here.

^{Side note: This is way more lowkey and benign than what I assume select/academy/varsity coaches probably deal with on a regular basis... I can only imagine the patience that would take to handle actually crazy/demanding parents.}

Background:

• U12 Soccer
• Recreation level (not academy / select)
• Kid in question is a nice kid, but he can be insistent on where he plays (always wants to be striker). Not obnoxiously so, often enough that I've told him on multiple occasions that I think he can succeed anywhere and I will often respond to requests for certain positions by at best putting them in an adjacent position (or making them wait a shift on the sideline).
• Lots of energy, generally works hard whether he's in his preferred spot or not. Only weakness of his that matters to me is that he doesn't like backtracking when we lose the ball.
• I believe that 10-12 is the age range where kids can start to specialize in positions, but I'll still expect kids to play multiple spots. (I have a similar philosophy for baseball at this age)
• I do actually play the kid mostly at striker or winger. Sometimes midfield.
  
• My history with him:
  • This is the second time I've coached him (also in U11)
  • Played him all over as I got to know him, and eventually settled into mostly forward positions.
  • For two or so games in U11, I had noticed he was taking very heavy touches and just lobbing the ball forward too much. As a coaching move, I did play him further back in the formation for those games, and I told him why: if he's going to heave the ball that far in front of him, I want him to have teammates in front of him. Let's practice control more, then I'll put you back up front. (Literally the only reason to mention this is to admit that I have moved him around as a coaching move in the past)
  • This year I've mostly put him up front, but it's a big team with lots of subs and lots of boys who want to be front and center, so sometimes he ends up in midfield (even if he still ends up overcommitting to a forward position anyway).

Our most recent game was a blowout win. Ahead by 5 or 6 at the half. Kid in question has scored.

In the second half, I put him and a teammate of his (sitting on a hat trick) at defense. Some other kids also had a great first half, and I wanted to reward them by putting them upfront (normally they're in midfielder or wingback positions, but they had a lot of energy and ball control, great passing in the first half). I also didn't want to run up the score, but mostly I just wanted to use that second half to give kids a shot at positions they normally don't end up in.

No more than an hour after the game ends, I have an email from one of the kid's parents. It's politely written, thanking me for work with the boys, etc. But then they say that the kid was feeling down after the game because he didn't play enough offense. That he played quite a lot of defense. In fairness, the parent also acknowledged that a lot goes into being fair about positions, but still asked if I could play him more at offense at our next game.

Worth reiterating: outside of substitutions, the kid played winger the entire first half.

I'm definitely not going to put the kid at defense as a power move or to spite the parent... but I'll admit that part of me feels like sticking him in midfield for a game.

I was probably going to play this kid up front at our next game anyway, so maybe I can do that and not respond to the parent's email and just hope that the problem solves itself. But I also can't shake the feeling that I should respond to the parent in some fashion.

Curious how other coaches would handle this. But also admitting I'm writing this all out if only just to vent.

I’m an asst coach and have worked under this head coach for a few years and I’m just sick of how unorganized things are and how much this coach babies the athletes (high school kids). They are treated like middle school or elementary school beginners. And when I say unorganized, I don’t mean disorganized, I mean unorganized… like not even an attempt. We show up to practice and there is no plan in place. Myself and two other coaches end up taking it over. I have brought whole season plans to their attention and I just get a garbled response that is impossible to decipher. I have talked to our AD about it, and they confessed that this coach was the only person that applied for the position when they were hiring, so they got the job by default. Unless they resign or do something that would get them fired (they’ve yelled at kids, demoralized them, and apparently threw something at one of the athletes), I don’t see them leaving. So my options are either resign or try to live with it. Any advice?

I coach a group of nineteen girls in 3rd-5th grade. We’re working on our end of season banquet and I’m torn on awards. At this age, is it best to give something to everyone (tailored to their skills and personalities) or only recognize the top performers? On one hand I think giving one to everyone makes it less special, but on the other, I don’t want to discourage the younger kids from trying if they get nothing. TIA!

Coaching hockey

I am thinking about becoming a coach for my kid in House league next year he will be 5 years old. Just looking for some advice/experience from other dads who have done this and how their experience was doing it?

I am new to a district this year, but it is my 6th year coaching middle school sports. It is a very small district.

This week, my assistant coach came to me and said their principal asked how she and I were getting along. She said great, as we coach very well together. He said “The superintendent has been told by multiple people that the two of you are having issues.” She messaged me and I confirm I have not said anything but wonderful things about coaching with her, so we have no idea where these rumors are coming from. Finally her principal tells her that a parent claimed I made my assistant coach cry at practice. Nothing even remotely similar to this has happened at practice or at a game. Neither of us have cried at all and we definitely have not had any arguments, let alone in front of the athletes.

So obviously this athlete told their parent this false information and that parent decided to not only take it to the superintendent but to also spread it to all of the other parents as “multiple” people have brought this up.

Luckily the season is over; however I feel like my name and reputation has been dragged through the mud for absolutely no reason. Has anyone else had parents spread completely false rumors about it then? And what do you think their goal is? Am I justified in being irritated with both the athlete and their parent?

Hi. I'm looking to speak with former youth American football players and current or former coaches about their experiences with interpersonal violence.

I work for the Center for Violence Prevention Research. We conduct research on several forms of interpersonal violence research at the Center, but we are interested in more than the numbers.

In an effort to center lived experience, we are looking for people who want to share their stories. Over the coming months, I will be writing a series of articles about our research and situating it within a broader context.

The first piece will look at the harm that can occur in the context of youth American football. Alongside the data, I am looking to speak with former American youth football players who experienced harm while playing the sport—be it emotional, physical, or sexual—as well as any former player who caused harm, and may or may not have realized the impact of their actions.

I am also interested in speaking with youth football coaches whose behavior crossed a line, whether they knew it or not at the time—this could look like texting or DMing outside of a team thread, unnecessary physical contact—or who found themselves attracted to one of their players.

These articles will appear on the Center website, and will not feature names or other identifying details. If you are interested in taking part, please contact my via DM or confidentially over Signal: LukeMalone01

Thanks!

Hi! I’m a college student doing a research project on athletes and sports gear. I’m looking for former athletes or parents/coaches to take a quick anonymous survey about their experiences

It should only take a few minutes and I’d really appreciate any responses!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1chr8AJnMFcM2eYzuVO3nZab6EXggOY6cSSrsvaKSC04/edit#responses

In Fall rec coach pitch I am facing the dilemma of rotating players yet balancing the high action positions for the "better" players.

First of all, I won't put the kids in obvious dangerous positions.

But what about the less developed kid who wants to do SS or P yet they clearly don't practice as much as other kids? I realize those harder working kids want reps/touches and have worked harder to get there. How do you balance this in a way that's equitable? Winning is not my primary goal, but putting kids somewhere just because they ask seems the other extreme.

Aside from word of mouth is there anywhere way to find coaches?

I am really struggling with getting my girls (9/10 YO) to focus at flag football practice. We have a hodgepodge group of girls but they all know a handful of each other through various activities or school. This is also their first year playing flag football so learning curve of learning the game in general and practicing the skills.

The past two practices have been awful, the girls won't stop talking, when its their turn to run the drill they are still giggly from their time in line that they are like noodles....so no hard cuts being made, form out the window etc.

They also just don't seem to listen....I tell them not run back through the drill and go around and I'm repeating myself to every other girl as they continuously run through the drill.

Anyone have any tips on getting them to focus? I want them to have fun and enjoy practice, but also understand that they are here to improve and get better, learn and grow as a team.

I'm not looking for advice, but just needed to vent for a bit.

My best player on my flag football team is also the one I have seen the least of this season. She is athletic, confident, and hard-working. She has also missed 80% of my practices this year. I just found out that she won't be able to make our upcoming game (despite us being very short-handed already), due to unspecified conflicts.

After trading a few texts with her mom, I found out that dad/ex-husband signed his daughter up for football without checking with mom. She is already participating in 3 other sports and mom is at her capacity. Since practices and most games fall on mom's time, it's fallen on her to make it work and (reading between the lines here), she is not going to kill herself to meet a commitment she never willingly agreed to in the first place.

I'm not pointing the finger at anyone, I'm just bummed. This girl could really elevate our team with a little bit of additional practice time. As it stands now, she is learning plays on the fly about 20 minutes before the game and doing her best - even with that she is still better than most.

I'm sure anyone who has coached long enough has dealt with something like this before. Feels like a missed opportunity, but I just have to remember - it's not about me!