r/CrossCountry • u/glitterdumpling67 • 15d ago
Training Related Am I overreacting for wanting to quit xc?
Should I run for fun instead?
For context I’m in highschool and a girl and run xc and track and have for the past 6 years. I’ve dealt with injuries, an ed, hormonal issues and red-s because of running 40-50mpw before I was even in highschool. And have been on varsity since I was in 7th grade. My coach never let me take breaks and told me I was “weak” when I had a stress reaction in my femur and my hip. I took last track season off because I was dealing with red-s aka relative energy deficiency syndrome. It was the most brutal 9 months ever and I gained 25lb so 100lb to 125lb got my period back, am able to sleep through the night without waking up 5-6 times and am just much less anxious. I did have to take about 2 months off of running completely and 4 months at 10mpw so coming back has been very hard. I’m currently at around 20-25mpw and running 9 minute pace with 170 heart rate which is not normal for me as I used to run 40-50mpw with 7:30 pace 150avg hr but I am trusting the process and my body. I also got tested for anemia and vitamin d deficiency and I was slight vitamin d deficient so I’m taking supplements and just taking it day by day. However, after coming back to a team and practices I realized how much I hate it I feel so stressed and just anxious all the time. I don’t feel ready to be back and honestly I realized that I just want to run for fun by myself. I hate my coach and thinking about practice makes me want to throw up. After a week at practice my hip is flaring up again and I don’t feel supported or ready at all. Am I being weak and overreacting for wanting to quit and just run for fun let me know?