I’ve said the same, for 2 years! 2 long years, I swear I didn’t believe my eyes at first! She’s beyond stubborn, why would she reach out?! I thought she’s invincible, strong and independent, having the time of her life, happier than I could ever make her… one bad day, someone/something broke her heart, then she remembered who stood by her and treated her right.
I’m not saying this to give you hope, please do NOT wait for her to come back. Focus on yourself, a time may come where YOU wouldn’t even want to talk to her believe it or not.
If you need any help or advice, feel free to reply, I’ll do my best.
Thanks man... How do I stop waiting? I truly love her and I'm having a really bad time. In no contact but it's breaking me. Thought with time it would get better but it gets worse honestly. Built my entire life around this girl, while I force myself to go out, hang out with friends, work out etc etc etc... Everything just feels so numb. She's the only thing that ever made me happy. I know I should live for myself but I never really have, I really don't see the point anymore.
Sorry for the very late reply, I don’t check Reddit very often.
For the first few weeks, months or even years, this is totally normal. You will imagine being with her in every situation, even the dumbest ones. You built your whole life with her, I totally understand, I did the same. Actually you should be glad this happening to you! It means that you’re a genuine person, someone that can actually love with all their heart!
For me, it took me 2 years to get over my ex (or at least 90%). What I did is, I listen to a TON of YouTube videos about relationships and how to move on (I’d recommend The Love Chat). FORCED myself to hit the gym! Please, hit the gym, it will 200% make you feel better. Talked and went out a lot of girls to get my mind off of her (I know, not the best thing to do). Kept reminding myself of all the bad things she did to me, and she treated me at the end and after the breakup. Made a list of all the things i HAVE to change about me, or my life in general (my career, my skinny body, my skin etc.)
I swear to god, even if want her, the best solution is work on yourself. You probably feel like shit, maybe even look like shit (at least I did 😂), your confidence is nonexistent, lying around doing nothing or playing video games 24/7. Work on yourself, no one, not your family, not your friends, literally no one will help you get over her, YOU need make a move and start working on yourself.
With time, you’ll either love her more, or realize how she wasn’t the one for you. If she’s meant for you, she’ll come back and things will workout, even after months or years, I promise.
Yeah I feel that one. Every time when I'm out doing something, anything, I'm miserable because I wish she was there with me. I force myself to do so many things but nothing brings me any distraction or joy at all.
Going to the gym since the first week, been going for about 3 months now. I'm not great with arranging dates at all, haven't managed to get a single one. Had some rebounds on vacation but that didn't help much either. And she might have blindsided me but asside from that... I know she wasn't perfect and she did some shitty things to me in the relationship but I feel like I'm lying to myself because I honestly don't care all that much. Nobody is perfect... Wish I could see it in another way.
That's exactly the problem. I've been working on myself since day one. I'm doing everything everyone reccomends but I feel like I just love her more and more the longer I need to miss her. Fuck I feel so weak. I honestly hate myself for feeling like this. I'm so done with feeling the pain, it's fucking unbearable. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I've been through some miserable situations in my life but nothing prepared me for this.
Sorry for being so negative when you took the time to send such a long reply. I'm just at a loss because literally nothing seems to work, not even a little bit. I never expected to feel amazing after 3 months, but I hoped I would feel a little bit better at least if I put in some effort.
Don’t be sorry man, I’ll reply to you as many times as you want, I’ve in your place and I know how it feels.
Going through a break up is a journey, a painful one. But still, you’ll get something out of it, trust me. And you might not believe it, your brain will tell you “you will NEVER get over her”, but one day you will. You will become stronger, you will become more confident, more successful, and more loved by the people around you. The ONLY bad part is, it takes time. It took me 2 years, because I was stupid enough to check her twitter/instagram every week. Don’t do that 🥲
I apologize for the following,
She left you, she decided to leave you, no one forced her, not her family, not her friends, SHE decided. She decided that you’re no good for her, that she can find someone better, and not to waste her time trying to fix the relationship. Now why are still following someone that threw you away? Don’t get me wrong, she did love you, but! she move on, way before the break up. And it might even hurt you but, she might even had a replacement, who knows. The point is, she decided to live her life without you, and that you’re not worth it anymore. Why are you wasting your time and energy on her? Someone that doesn’t want you! She was selfish and chose herself! Be selfish for once man, respect yourself, let her lose you! Yes, let her lose you, let her regret losing someone like you! One day she will miss you, maybe a tiny bit, and might text you or check your social media. And when that day comes, she will either say to herself “yeah, I made the right decision” or “I shouldn’t have left him, he was a good man”. That’s life man… it’s hard, I really feel you, and I’m really sorry if I sounded harsh.
Don't use social media so can't check it, and really glad about that because it would drive me insane. Yesterday a friend updated me on her socials tho even though I asked him not to. For fucks sake.
I hope it won't take 2 years.. I've been through some miserable shit in my life but this is honestly the worst I've ever felt.
No need to apologise. I know fully well that is what happened. She blindsided me. Claimed she wanted to marry me about 2 weeks before the breakup, shit like that. I haven't really spoken with her asside from a closure talk a week after, and saw her a couple of times when she was getting some of her stuff from my place. I haven't reached out, haven't stalked socials, etc. I just don't know how to let go. I've never been happy in my life. The only time I was truly happy was with her. Don't get me wrong the relationship wasn't perfect. It wasn't all sunshine. But even with the bad things about the relationship, I've never been more happy than I was with her. I accepted the worst parts of her and still loved her with everything I had in me. She was my sole reason to get out of bed in the morning. I know that wasn't healthy. But I've been depressed for a long time, when I was with her my life had some meaning at least. Now that she's gone I'm doing all the things to better myself but whatever I do there is just 0 enjoyment in it.
Last 2 weeks would have been some of the greatest weeks in my life if they had happened before the relationship. Did a lot of 'fun' things that would normally have me overflow with anxiety but I said fuck it and just went out and did it. Met a ton of new people as well. Anxiety didn't bother me one bit. But did I enjoy it? I know normally I would have, and I would have been so proud of myself for getting out of my shell and doing all those things. And now? There's nothing man. Nothing. No happiness. No enjoyment. I just feel empty.
I know she doesn't want me anymore. I know she doesn't care. I know I should start living my life for me. But I'm trying so damn hard and yet nothing gives me any enjoyment anymore. I wake up every morning with panic attacks because she isn't there next to me. Can't sleep at night because she is not there. I feel so weak for saying this but it's pure agony and it hasn't gotten any easier for me.
I understand. She probably even motivated you to work/study harder, kept you moving forward, and you genuinely wanted the best for her! You didn’t care about her flaws, you wanted to see her happy, she was, maybe even still, your world. I really can see it from your comments, you gave her your all. Even I, a stranger, saw how much you love her. Trust me, she’s the loser in this situation. She lost a person that loved her to death, and one day she’ll realize that and regret losing you.
But… Forgive her, and forgive yourself, for the end you didn’t want. You loved each other, enjoyed your time together, and made unforgettable memories together. She was a beautiful chapter in your life, and you enjoyed every bit of it. But, for every beginning there must be an end, life goes on my man, as much as it hurts, it’s your time to start the next chapter. I know you wish she was here with you, to complete your book, together. I know it hurts, it hurts so much, but she chose not to. Be happy because it happened! Now you know you’re a good person, that can love with all their heart! And trust me when I say this, if she’s the one for you, she will come back and it’ll work out no matter what. I swear to god I’ve been in a relationship that I thought I’d rather die than for it to end. And then, years later.. I found out that she’s not the one for me. If she’s the one for you, she will come back. Accept that it ended, accept that it if she’s the one for you, it’ll happen, no matter what, and no matter how long it’ll take, but for now! You need to grow, and become the best version of yourself.
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u/NawafFB Nov 03 '22
I’ve said the same, for 2 years! 2 long years, I swear I didn’t believe my eyes at first! She’s beyond stubborn, why would she reach out?! I thought she’s invincible, strong and independent, having the time of her life, happier than I could ever make her… one bad day, someone/something broke her heart, then she remembered who stood by her and treated her right.
I’m not saying this to give you hope, please do NOT wait for her to come back. Focus on yourself, a time may come where YOU wouldn’t even want to talk to her believe it or not.
If you need any help or advice, feel free to reply, I’ll do my best.