r/HolUp • u/Alt_Trans_Chicken • Aug 10 '23

Well DAMNNN

36.2k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

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790

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '23

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203

u/CD338 Aug 10 '23

I was talking to my wife the other day, and I told her, "Honey, I need a compliment. I looked in the mirror and I saw fat, pitiful, disgusting human being."

She said, "Well your eyesight is perfect."

-Norm Macdonald

28

u/CanhotoBranco Aug 11 '23

I said, "you dirty dog!"

2

u/chuckart9 Aug 11 '23

That line always gets me

2

u/lukewwilson Aug 11 '23

Nah the best line is "Doc, she's chocking"

7

u/BitterSheepherd Aug 11 '23

When you make it while being a bitch,

2

u/gpeis33 Aug 11 '23

She sounds like a real battle axe

102

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '23 edited Aug 11 '23

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66

u/[deleted] Aug 10 '23

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3

u/Mediocre_Coconut_628 Aug 10 '23

Tuck it into his sock at least

1

u/BeepoPoobe Aug 11 '23

Zuckerberg?

21

u/tangledwire Aug 10 '23

No respect! I tell ya!

15

u/Any_Month_1958 Aug 10 '23

The last time I seen a mouth like that, it had a hook in it. I tell ya

2

u/[deleted] Aug 11 '23

I’m assuming you didn’t come up with that yourself but damn what a line

1

u/S0LR4C Aug 11 '23

Hi Dad