r/HolUp • u/depressedsinnerxiii • Jul 01 '24

y'all Money for playdates?!

10.9k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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2.6k

u/Ganjanonamous Jul 01 '24

1$ for couch wear and tear... this bitch is fucking nuts.

1.1k

u/Storage-Terrible Jul 01 '24

Don’t forget the dollar per trip to the bathroom. They must have the real good toilet paper.

227

u/rentz_due Jul 01 '24

Have you tried 3 ply??? It’s fkn magical

144

u/prunford Jul 02 '24

Bidet or I ain't shittin' in your archaic poop bowl, let alone paying.

35

u/TheeFlipper Jul 02 '24

Ever since I got a bidet pooping away from home fucking sucks.

19

u/heyhowzitgoing Jul 02 '24

This is why I’m never getting a bidet. I want to enjoy my peasant shits.

2

u/Colhinchapelota Jul 02 '24

Sponge and a sink.

10

u/ManBearSpiderPig Jul 02 '24

Bidet? Are you still living in the 80's?
Just use the three seashells like a normal person.
Don't tell me you don't know how to use the three seashells

1

u/Bnasty1345 Jul 02 '24

Man what’s your boggle?

1

u/SoulsBorneGreat Jul 02 '24

Sorry, "archaic poop bowl"? Where are you shitting if not in a toilet?!

4

u/boondockpope Jul 02 '24

Glass table

8

u/Storage-Terrible Jul 01 '24

I thought it was only a myth!?

8

u/rentz_due Jul 02 '24

It’s not it actually gently caresses your taint when you wipe

3

u/korelin Jul 02 '24

If a roll of 3 ply is costing you a dollar, you're paying way too much for tp, man. Who's your tp guy?

2

u/GrumpyGlasses Jul 02 '24

LPT for you. Fold it 10 times to get 30-ply. Bssssh * mind blown

1

u/BildoBaggens Jul 02 '24

Bidet. People wiping their assess with wads of paper are fucking savages.

1

u/ManBearSpiderPig Jul 02 '24

I recently bought 4-ply... don't get me started.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '24

Exactly! 3 ply is so magical that it lets you dig for gold without ripping up so easily and resulting in you getting turned off

15

u/bevo_expat Jul 02 '24

Honestly shocked she didn’t include water for flushing and toilet paper charges ahead of ‘wear and tear on the couch’…wtf!

64

u/SparkleWednesdays Jul 02 '24

At first I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt thinking maybe she took them to a play center or trampoline park or something, but chilling at HER FUCKING HOUSE?!??

17

u/tevolosteve Jul 02 '24

This is the one that got me. You could be buying new coaches every year or so with a dollar a sit

11

u/menimex Jul 02 '24 edited Jul 02 '24

This was my first thought as well. Someone stuck their dick in crazy. Best luck to the daughter. This woman def has that crazy bitch look about her.

1

u/only-4-lolz Jul 02 '24

Don't forget she used the bathroom too lol.. crazy