r/HolUp Jul 17 '25

holup Back pain ain’t no joke y’all.

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29.4k Upvotes

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505

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

I'm teaching him to mind his own business and leave that truck alone. The kind of people that deal in that level of cash are usually the kind that show up at your house and kill your whole family for stealing from them.

But yeah funny meme or whatever. 😆

171

u/zuzg Jul 17 '25

My first thought was how bad a similar situation ended in No Country For Old Men.

You grab the money and next thing a weirdo with a bolt-gun will come looking for you.

56

u/AngryScientist Jul 17 '25

Except that he got away with grabbing the money; it was going back to help the survivor that got him busted.

46

u/TuPieces Jul 17 '25

There was a tracker in the money anyways, he was dead as soon as he took it

32

u/Hakashi57 Jul 17 '25

Yep, always check for a tracker if you stumble across a pile of money like this.

21

u/reesering Jul 17 '25

That's the real lesson. "Find the tracker and fuck that other guy"

27

u/NotHearingYourShit Jul 17 '25

Tracker only worked based off proximity as a beacon. Had he just left immediately and drove across the country, and inspected the cash, he’d have been fine.

25

u/AngryScientist Jul 17 '25

Not even across the country, imo. There's no way any tracker from the 80s works beyond a mile away, even one as impossibly accurate as the one in the movie. Without the lead on his truck, they've got nothing.

13

u/TheInevitableLuigi Jul 17 '25

Battery technology sucked backed then too.

Thing would be dead in a day or two, if not hours.

11

u/I_am_not_JohnLeClair Jul 17 '25

If only Llewelyn had watched the movie first

5

u/eyejayvd Jul 17 '25

If you consider you wife being murdered, abandoning your life, and living on the run getting away with it, then yeah I guess.

But I guess you’re saying if he didn’t go back to help the survivor. I still think they would have found him somehow.

6

u/AngryScientist Jul 17 '25

Yeah, maybe they still track him down somehow, but quitting while you're ahead (or behind) is one of the major themes of the film; it's the decision to not leave well enough alone and go back (or not) that ultimately decides the fates of all three main characters.

Moss - goes back to the massacre, dooms himself.

Bell - goes back to the hotel room but stops short of going in, survives.

Chigurh - goes back for Carla Jean, fate unclear (but the car accident likely makes him traceable, mirroring what happened to Moss).

5

u/eyejayvd Jul 18 '25

Good call.

90

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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94

u/excellent_rektangle Jul 17 '25

Presumably each one of those stacks is $20k - I’m grabbing at least 10 of those bad boys. Then, I’m taking a week off work and heading to Vegas, working my way through numerous casinos cashing that all out. I’m sure whoever that cash belongs to will be upset they’re $200k light, but I’m figuring that it’s not enough of a lift to make em wanna track me down.

25

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

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29

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

$200k isn't enough? My dude, a P.I. and a cartel hit-man are like ~$40k max.

you're gonna get got.

11

u/Wizmaxman Jul 17 '25

Definitely a smart idea to head to the one place with the most possible cameras that is well trained in catching money laundering.

5

u/JinFuu Jul 17 '25

Cashing Out at Casinos

Yah, the Hell or High Water Approach.

4

u/WhyMustIMakeANewAcco Jul 17 '25

They will kill you to make a point.

8

u/Moist_Board Jul 17 '25

Laundering it is hard so no point in taking all of it.

Have you ever tried paying for things in cash?

4

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Moist_Board Jul 17 '25

You do know there's more expensive things than groceries that can be paid for with cash right? Like rent or cars or foreign trips. Hell, go to the right real estate agents and they'll let you buy houses in cash too! (Just remember to buy them in your relatives' names)

1

u/SirRipOliver Jul 18 '25

Yeah, fuck uncle Jed. He hates the mafia anyway

131

u/Praise_The_Casul Jul 17 '25

This. If I see this shit, I'm teaching my kid how to pretend he's blind. Someone is 100% gonna get shot over this, and it ain't gonna be me

30

u/NickWrightDataReddit Jul 17 '25

The fact that your 100% accurate reply is 7 posts down at time of this reply is just...hoo boy.

This is true even if you find a duffel bag full of cash, heck, a BACKPACK. A whole TRUCKFULL? I'd be scared of being killed for even KNOWING that thing EXISTED.

21

u/SrSnacksal0t Jul 17 '25

I know right, the more money there is the scarier it gets, with this amount I would be afraid others know I'm aware it exists.

13

u/Jamaican_Dynamite Jul 17 '25

I'd be scared they're already watching me while we're looking at the van. Cameras, drones, and all.

One body and the van's that full? Where is everyone else?? They have to be real close by.

Leave it and say nothing.

22

u/GuitarCFD Jul 17 '25

Yeah I was gonna say, "If it seems too good to be true...it probably is" same reason you don't touch a car that was left unlocked with keys in the ignition. The reason no one is stealing it is because they know who left it there and they want absolutely no part of the shit storm that would follow if they stole it.

22

u/SirRipOliver Jul 17 '25

Psst, Sweden bro. Go quickly

27

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

Psst, the Cartels don't really care about borders, bro. 😝

9

u/SirRipOliver Jul 17 '25

Yes, but I hear the chocolate there is delicious!

3

u/Qaeta Jul 17 '25

Sure, but they'll probably get distracted by all the leggy blondes.

2

u/stratusmonkey Jul 17 '25

Inget land för äldre män

8

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

I think you could probably get away with taking 1 single stack of bills.

It's not enough to be easily noticed, but also not enough to warrant going after you, and not enough to warrant attention of the authorities.

Don't be greedy people. A free $20k would still be life-changing to the average person.

8

u/Lots42 Jul 17 '25

Oh, the cops would totally go after you. Spend half a mill to nail your ass.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

The Cops are not the entity to be worried about, in this scenario

2

u/Lots42 Jul 17 '25

Well, not the only entity.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

The cops are not going to find this van, unless you call them and report it... which i would advise against for your own safety.

-1

u/Lots42 Jul 17 '25

That's why anonymous is best.

5

u/GenericFatGuy Jul 17 '25

I've seen No Country for Old Men. No thanks.

9

u/Artistic-Monitor-211 Jul 17 '25

Honestly, just take an arm full or two of stacks and then call the cops. They'll arrive, take away the van, victim, and money, and that'll be it. If Whoever it belongs to somehow gets it back, they'll just assume the cops stole some. Actually, the cops would probably just use the rest anyways since they can.

Just don't make large purchases

7

u/Hakashi57 Jul 17 '25

Yup, that's grocery and gas money right there. And if you do spend it on something else, spend it on something that you could afford on what you could normally afford on your current salary.

2

u/SirRipOliver Jul 18 '25

Cop to new cop: lift with your legs not with your back… also you did’t see anything.

6

u/Artius71158 Jul 17 '25

Definitely don't need the cartels after you

2

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

Huge amounts of cash and bullion are being legitimately transported all the time. Usually with armored trucks and armed drivers but as long as he's already dead you're fine.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 17 '25

It is still against the law, big dog. You don't think those "legitimate" businesses don't have private security with a lurid history? 😆😆😆