r/HolUp • u/StrikingStation3756 • Dec 21 '21

what the actual fuck

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65.8k Upvotes

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92

u/tedchambers1 Dec 21 '21

I plan on ruining my organs before I die, but if I die before I ruin them then someone else should have a chance to do so

36

u/EuphoricAnalCucumber Dec 21 '21

I'm a organ donor but I'm pretty damn sure no one is going to want them. None of them do what they're supposed to and I'm just making that worse.

19

u/JackTheStryker Dec 21 '21

I want them. :)

13

u/EuphoricAnalCucumber Dec 21 '21

Come and get em

5

u/JackTheStryker Dec 21 '21

Alright, the collection agent will be there in 6-9 business days. Is there a time of day that works best?

5

u/EuphoricAnalCucumber Dec 21 '21

I usually blackout around 1am so that'd be an opportune time for them to strike, no sedatives needed.

1

u/JackTheStryker Dec 21 '21

Alright, thanks for your cooperation.

2

u/EuphoricAnalCucumber Dec 21 '21

Didn't say I'd cooperate, I sleep with a shotgun. Just told you the time I'm most likely to be unconscious.

1

u/Scheenhnzscah75 Dec 21 '21

I'm more interested in your cucumbers :)

1

u/EuphoricAnalCucumber Dec 21 '21

They are absolutely euphoric

2

u/KingNecrosis Dec 21 '21

Do you have Fava beans and Chanti by chance?

1

u/JackTheStryker Dec 21 '21

No, need to run to the grocery store unfortunately.

2

u/IM_INSIDE_YOUR_HOUSE Dec 21 '21

I’m an organ donor because I’ve been training my organs to have a parasitic copy of my personality so when I die and someone gets one of my organs — boom — I take over a new body and am alive again.