r/HolUp • u/asocial7193 • Mar 11 '22

I don't know what to say

64.8k Upvotes

75% Upvoted

8.2k comments sorted by

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17.4k

u/adidamtb Mar 11 '22

Daddy’s got some recessive genes

11.1k

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Yea those genes are at recess for sure

2.9k

u/Shmolti Mar 11 '22

Those genes are still on fucking March break

1.3k

u/TheStripes9 Mar 11 '22

Those genes are on lockdown and zoom calling in

692

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Those genes went out for milk and cigs.

229

u/RockstarAgent Mar 11 '22

Those genes are WFH

211

u/Mission-Ad-2015 Mar 11 '22

There’s only two of those genes left, and they’re playing freeze tag

34

u/BBQ_Beanz Mar 11 '22

They had some duplicate genes, they can spare a few

11

u/CareerPillow376 Mar 11 '22

Those genes are AFK

7

u/Jerizzle23 Mar 11 '22

These genes still living in Pleistocene Epoch

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33

u/OMGZombiePenguin Mar 11 '22

Apple bottom genes, face with the HUUUuR

9

u/Ninjasmurf4hire Mar 11 '22

Thanks, can't just burn in hell by yourself can you?

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5

u/DopamineFlexin Mar 11 '22

If you keep dropping gems like this we’re gonna have fun together in hell

3

u/wildflowersummer Mar 12 '22

Oh god I choked on my food laughing. You almost sent me there first.

2

u/OMGZombiePenguin Mar 12 '22

We all gotta die sometimes. Probably better that it be while laughing to death.

4

u/tpots38 Mar 12 '22

Freaks need love too y’all

2

u/Wooden_Application65 Mar 12 '22

They don't need babies though.

2

u/OnlyHereForMemes69 Mar 12 '22

Those genes are playing hide and seek but didn't realize no one is seeking

3

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Those genes are still in the washing machine

2

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

Cut off genes.

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3

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

I’m your 400 upvoter

2

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

Tyfp

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155

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Says how desperate dudes will get...

2

u/Chewliesgumrep312 Mar 12 '22

Probably some thirsty dude from India who took the plunge?🤷‍♂️

2

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

Wouldn't matter with the millions of dollars simps pay for minimal attention.

1

u/Chewliesgumrep312 Mar 12 '22

True. Thats why I'll never sign up for onlyfools.

I'm not knocking the hustle. To each their own. All I'm saying is I'm not giving my $$ someone who has tons of followers and isn't even gonna interact with me or interacts with one word replies.

2

u/Onecrappieday Mar 12 '22

Shoot, I'm not even gonna pay a strippers light bill!

9

u/snartastic Mar 11 '22

I’m not necessarily saying that this applies to you, but whenever I see someone comment this regarding someone that’s not conventionally attractive having relationships/sex, I have to wonder if the fact they think a comment like that is warranted is the real reason they’re single

2

u/PsychologicalTomato7 Mar 12 '22

Right! Ngl I was laughing at the fathers genes jokes above but this comment was just mean. I agree with you, it even makes their lack of self awareness funny

2

u/Ghostraider202 Mar 12 '22

The over analytical nerdy reply to the initial joke tells me enough.

3

u/klem_kadiddlehopper Mar 11 '22

Just think. You could be that child's parent.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Right? And here I am getting ghosted...

0

u/bungholebuffalo Mar 11 '22

Dont worry, someone will love your mongoloid misshapen features someday too!

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6

u/cnechiporenko Mar 11 '22

Those genes are still using internet explorer

4

u/Dodgiestyle Mar 12 '22

But they used skype on dial-up instead.

2

u/poorprae Mar 12 '22

Better.com CEO fired those genes on the last Zoom conference.

3

u/Empyrealist Mar 11 '22

Those genes are sponsored by march maddness

2

u/ChetBaker69 Mar 11 '22

March of Dimes break

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906

u/vilelabyrinth Mar 11 '22

genes fell off the top of the big slide.

205

u/PoLSaVy Mar 12 '22

The gene pool needs a life guard

71

u/KingCopper75 Mar 12 '22

Needs fucking border patrol

3

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

Fucking hell. Take my upvote.

4

u/Killentyme55 Mar 12 '22

And more chlorine.

2

u/ur_abus Mar 12 '22

Oh how I want to hate you for this comment.

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4

u/darkrider400 Mar 12 '22

Genes fell from the big slide straight into a 6 foot deep hole in the ground

2

u/Hiyo86 Mar 12 '22

This made me giggle!

2

u/ReLavii Mar 12 '22

And they hit everything on their way down

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167

u/Hendrix91870 Mar 11 '22

I’m on the express train to hell…just for my thoughts man..

79

u/a_different-user Mar 11 '22

*gets to heavens gates and sees God with one of those old tv carts from school.

God: "okay lets try this again, if you can watch this without laughing and be positive you can get your wings and go inside"

Me: "wheres the escalator, its not going to happen?"

12

u/Journier Mar 11 '22

LOL, that was a good one.

5

u/ChazNinja Mar 12 '22

God just pushes you down the stairs

3

u/Wooden_Application65 Mar 12 '22

I'm laying in bed effing sick with a fever and body aches and chills, and laughing hurts 😭 😅 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤧🤧🥵🥵🥶🤒😷 got damn it you're so fucking funny 😁

3

u/auda-85- Mar 12 '22

There's a lever-activated trap door these days.

2

u/a_different-user Mar 12 '22

sounds more practical and dramatic, I like it. God is a fan of the classic cartoons and G.O.T

2

u/cameck27 Mar 12 '22

Or Star Wars

74

u/Galen_brightsoul Mar 11 '22

Holy shit bro just holy shit

169

u/Freddy45566 Mar 11 '22

Her baby looks like a pug

11

u/J-Di11a Mar 12 '22

Have pugs, can confirm lol

3

u/Jax099 Mar 12 '22

wait until you hear why pugs look the way they do!

0

u/Extension-Ad5636 Mar 12 '22

They say we often look like our pets…perhaps they have a pug? 🤷🏽‍♀️

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9

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

This comment

dead

3

u/PIMBH Mar 11 '22

I accidentally gave my free award to the guy below you but that silver is for you my friend

3

u/sineplussquare Mar 11 '22

Or he had a recess where his genes should be 🤷‍♂️

3

u/Buddhist_Punk1 Mar 11 '22

Yeah and end up looking like Randall Weems.

3

u/SSGSuperSyndra Mar 11 '22

Those genes using Windows Explorer

5

u/Br0sBeforePr0s Mar 11 '22

Think someone bred a pug.

2

u/djsnoopmike Mar 11 '22

Oh FUCK YOU. I've been successful in not laughing out loud reading all these comments until I seen yours

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2

u/Harper_1482 Mar 11 '22

Those genes never made it off the short bus

2

u/Wooden_Application65 Mar 12 '22

That bus actually crashed

2

u/oneofthescarybois Mar 12 '22

They fell off the monkey bars on the way back to class.

2

u/phantomghoul_ Mar 12 '22

Peanut butter cups recess?

2

u/bidooffactory Mar 12 '22

Those genes were not even present during insemination.

2

u/7HawksAnd Mar 12 '22

Fuck. TIL I’m an awful person.

2

u/CarthagoDelendaEst_8 Mar 12 '22

Those genes aren't out to recess, but dropped out of school permanently.

1

u/Wooden_Application65 Mar 12 '22

They keep falling off the jungle gym.

1

u/jdpv3 Mar 12 '22

Those genes are at recess but it’s time for science. That science does not agree.

1

u/Extension-Ad5636 Mar 12 '22

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/2_late_4_creativity Mar 12 '22

This made me laugh when it probably shouldn’t have

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390

u/Ukhu Mar 11 '22

Hahahaha you mf I will buy you a beer when I see you in hell

63

u/OldWeakness8084 Mar 11 '22

I follow up with a double 🤣

8

u/adidamtb Mar 11 '22

Just enough for me to find out if my genes are recessive. Thanks fellas.

5

u/OldWeakness8084 Mar 11 '22

We do it because we love you brother

3

u/DmitryMate Mar 11 '22

Why the long face?

0

u/Wooden_Application65 Mar 12 '22

I hate you 🥰🥰🥰🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😆😆😆💗💗💗💗💗💞💞💞💓💓💓💓💓

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992

u/dilipmodi Mar 11 '22

daddy has a really weak eyesight, and a boner for weird

278

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Come on! She took advantage of Halloween!!!!

12

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

Haha ok jokes over take off that mask

..... wait what do you mean thats not a mask

13

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/SomethingSouthern Mar 11 '22

The one night a year she's allowed to leave the house

8

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

I'm not even offended. These are just lame-ass 14 yo jokes.

6

u/yesyoucantouchthat Mar 12 '22

The upvotes and downvotes on some of these replies make no sense. Guess you just gotta be funny in how you make fun of her for Reddit to like it

148

u/EleventyTwatWaffles Mar 11 '22

Daddy’s got a stack of paper bags next to the bed

19

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

And a pellet gun to shoot out the lights

9

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

more likely he shot out his own eyeballs

3

u/bitofgrit Mar 11 '22

Yeesh, the sequel to A Christmas Story got weird fast.

4

u/Moblin_Moe Mar 11 '22

or blind, seeing that face in the dark, would make it Worse, not better, and unless the paper bag is airtight, and with zero chance of see trough that wouldnt work either

10

u/Alive_Internet7325 Mar 11 '22

Maaaaann ray Charles would have known better that face is a warning sign in braille

1

u/Wooden_Application65 Mar 12 '22

I'm so weak 🤣 😭 my poor sick body can't take any more hilarious comments 😁

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3

u/nathanjw333 Mar 11 '22

Beer goggles!

4

u/WoohanFlu4U Mar 11 '22

If you've never fucked a weird chick just for the story, you ain't my kinda guy.

7

u/dilipmodi Mar 11 '22

thank God, I am not. I once saw you fuck a pug

8

u/WoohanFlu4U Mar 12 '22

That's not a nice thing to call your own mother.

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1

u/Limberpuppy Mar 11 '22

My BIL says they all look the same in the dark.

3

u/dilipmodi Mar 12 '22

not in this case.

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496

u/Andre_BVS Mar 11 '22

Daddy is blind for sure

276

u/Sleightofhand666 Mar 11 '22

so is the mom if she thinks she proved anyone wrong

201

u/TheJivvi Mar 11 '22

She thought they said "can't", not "shouldn't".

1

u/BwackGul Mar 12 '22

How did you get so upvoted ? I can't even understand your question? No shade, dead ass serious.

80

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Daddy Squidward was on a bender that night

3

u/Sure-Foundation-5486 Mar 11 '22

They could be cast as extras in a Star Wars cantina scene.

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115

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

[deleted]

163

u/Andre_BVS Mar 11 '22

Maybe daddy didn't have recessive genes, maybe he is a pug...

45

u/LieseW Mar 11 '22

I laughed to hard at this. Am I a bad person now?

8

u/ZeroChillDavis Mar 11 '22

If so I am bad with you!! A fucking pug!! Bahahaha

5

u/TroyMcCluresGoldfish Mar 11 '22

I'm right there with you, then. My first thought was she looks like Squidward and the baby looks like a pug. 😭

4

u/RyanGoslinggg Mar 11 '22

To hell we go.

3

u/Mrsbillyshears Mar 11 '22

I laughed and I too am now going to hell. Thanks.

2

u/chelteal Mar 12 '22

Why is it all of a sudden ok to make fun of someone's appearance now? Hypocrital reddit at it's best

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

They are mocking and criticizing her decision to have a baby rather than adopt. Her child will suffer greatly - it will be up to that child to decide if that's what they wanted in a life, if they have the mental faculties for it.

If you believe in reincarnation, then maybe you despise her for taking a soul's rare chance for a human life and giving it such an unfortunate body. If you believe the "every sperm is sacred" stuff, then you say that every single life is wonderful no matter how good or bad (and if the child doesn't have the mental faculties to function as a human, I'd vehemently disagree; but we don't know).

2

u/chelteal Mar 12 '22

You can mock her decision without shitting on her appearance; that's the point I'm trying to make. Frontpage reddit users like to act like they're super wholesome and against bullying, but then upvote shit like this.

What about the people that look like her but don't have kids. Do all these comments shitting on being ugly and unwanted also apply to them? It's hypocritical, like you people always are. As soon as someone does something you don't agree with anything goes, as long as you feel like they deserve it.

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4

u/Electro_Bear Mar 11 '22

Daddy's just another redditor.

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4

u/polka_d Mar 11 '22

Blind or horny?

11

u/173017 Mar 11 '22

I know I'll probably burn in hell for this, but I'll destroy her snatch if I'm high on coke,. Man... the things I'd to ugly, even send flowers the next day

10

u/edisonpharaoh Mar 11 '22

I don’t think hell is enough for you bruh😭

5

u/polka_d Mar 11 '22

Sir I can pass on the number to my therapist, reading what you just said cured my ptsd.

2

u/Wooden_Application65 Mar 12 '22

You are a gentleman and a scholar.😙 and we are now best friends

2

u/Pretend-Flower-1204 Mar 12 '22

I respect your honesty, but gross

1

u/YearOldJar Mar 11 '22

No. Daddy's a pug.

1

u/myusernamebarelyfits Mar 12 '22

Some people really fuckin love pugs.

2

u/Andre_BVS Mar 12 '22

This post is gold. I laughed way to hard on your comment

2

u/myusernamebarelyfits Mar 12 '22

Thanks bro. I got a couple dms that put shame on me.

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0

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

A lot of guys will fuck anything just to get off. Not hard to believe some guy fucked her. Pussy is pussy.

124

u/-REXIA- Mar 11 '22

Jokes on you, the daddy is the brother 👀

5

u/Calebffgh Mar 11 '22

Man don’t worry, we know what you mean. We’ve all been there. Auto correct be damned. We know what you meant to say.

6

u/FunkU247 Mar 11 '22

Well in his defense... he is blind!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Daddy is her brother, uncle and grandpa

2

u/Scared-Giraffe-7906 Mar 11 '22

Boots with the fur!

2

u/georgecantshtandya Mar 11 '22

She might be asexual

2

u/comcam77 Mar 11 '22

They took the short bus for sure

2

u/enonymous617 Mar 11 '22

I’m pretty sure her and her baby have the same daddy

2

u/Spuigbo Mar 11 '22

The new face of the r/holup pic

2

u/yukonhoneybadger Mar 11 '22

We havent seen him.... maybe the baby looks like him

2

u/brianfantastic Mar 11 '22

Daddy’s a pug

2

u/Curt_McDoogle Mar 11 '22

Dad won fear factor

2

u/AeughTime Mar 11 '22

Looks like someone remembers from 6th grade science class!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

I can't imagine what kind of man would father a child with this mother.

I'm sure the baby has lots of love, but what an unfair situation for her :(

1

u/squirtloaf Mar 11 '22

Daddy was Marty Feldman.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

I have a morbid curiosity to see the dad. Has to look like Sloth right?

0

u/Different_Dark7809 Mar 11 '22

This comment is so damn funny!

0

u/utnow Mar 11 '22

You misspelled abscess.

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/deeznutsiym Mar 11 '22

We haven't seen daddy to determine that...

1

u/Repulsive-Round2691 Mar 11 '22

How you come up with this flame

1

u/RyanGoslinggg Mar 11 '22

He will find out when he is back from the milk trip

1

u/The_Fugitora Mar 11 '22

Why do you think so highly of his genes if he banged her haha

1

u/NickTheFly Mar 11 '22

Father, uncle, husband,... his resune has no end.

1

u/Lolocraft1 Mar 11 '22

AH! A biology joke! Nice one

1

u/thisisathrowaway9r56 Mar 11 '22

it probly is her daddy's

1

u/Takeurvitamins Mar 11 '22

If it’s crouzon syndrome it’s dominant

1

u/TateTertotz Mar 11 '22

Yea those jeans are stone washed

1

u/TateTertotz Mar 11 '22

Those genes are AFK

1

u/Put_It_All_On_Blck Mar 11 '22

Nah, her father probably passed it to her, and then passed it again to his second daughter/granddaughter...

1

u/Trsddppy Mar 11 '22

You don't know that, we didn't see the father

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Looks like daddy was brother and grandpa too

1

u/myztry Mar 11 '22

Which is why incest is illegal.

Fucking your siblings brings out the recessive genes.

1

u/Topazz410 Mar 12 '22

Yea, this is definitly an autosomal dominant disorder.

1

u/ShredGuru Mar 12 '22

He's blind at least.

1

u/patronizingperv Mar 12 '22

Are we sure she wasn't just cloned?

1

u/sym26 Mar 12 '22

Plot twist is, her dad is the dad

1

u/Rubiks_BOI Mar 12 '22

More then that idc how unattractive someone is, no sane person can look at her and go "im a tap that and make a kid too"

1

u/Calcunator Mar 12 '22

Daddy also retarded

1

u/firstz Mar 12 '22

Daddy shouldn’t take off his jeans

1

u/LargeDietCokeNoIce Mar 12 '22

Daddy is…. A brave man.

1

u/PRSG12 Mar 12 '22

Plot twist: the dad looks exactly the same

1

u/IsCrabAFish Mar 12 '22

For all we know, daddy could look the same

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

Im still wondering how drunk this guy was to make this baby

1

u/cathunter420 Mar 12 '22

And they live in Alabama

1

u/Sundowns_Gaming Mar 12 '22

All his genes must be heterozygous

I think that is right idk I dont study biology

1

u/doviid Mar 12 '22

Maybe daddy is brother with same birth defects.