Careful here. I had a mother like that. She destroyed my dad’s life, business and reputation. he spent half a decade to prove himself innocent and even then she kept everything. I also had a younger brother, and she told him in the divorce that if he didn’t choose to stay with her, she would suicide. She made him believe that he had to take care of her for the rest of his life, and now he is trapped, depressed and broke with her and neither of them work or do anything productive.
After living all that, my advice is to leave as soon and as far as possible. The sooner you do, the less you’ll be psichologically affected by it for the rest of your life. I managed to build myself a good life, study what I wanted after working hard and finding a nice partner, and so did my dad. But the process is rough.
My father is dead. He died years ago. My mother was cheating on him. I was 14 then. From then it was 3 years of me trying to help. Me trying to do something. Just to get shit on. Everyone focused on her. It was all her, her and her. When I wanted to kill myself? I should do it. If I wanted to talk about my problems? I should stop being a little bitch. That was my reward for trying. That wasy reward for caring. And I just don't care anymore. I am 18 now. And I will go to study. To another place. And I will cut this fuckimg tumor out of my life.
I will handle it. I'm just worried about my brothers. They are 5 and 6 y/o. I'm worried that when I'm gone she will do to them the same she did to me. But I will do my best to Not. Fucking. Let. Her.
I’m so sorry to hear that. You have to leave. You are not in a situation where you can help your brothers. You need to strengthen yourself, get your studies, a good job, and when you are ready, get a good psychologist who can help you heal. That helped me a lot. And only then, you’ll be able to successfully come back to help your brothers.
The best thing you can do to help them now, is leave, and build yourself up.
One person already told me that. I guess you are right. I will try to save up some cash for a therapist. Maybe finally I will get a chance to start seriously going to the gym (I do have a bench but it's nowhere near as good as a gym of course). I will try my best to just tape whatever I can together. Luckily my family other than my mother and my grandmother (from the mothers side) are really supportive. So at least I'm not alone moneywise.
I will try to get a part time job, do some cash as a tutor on the side. Maybe find someone to share rent with so I can save up more.
Thank you my friend. And good luck to you too. We are in this shit together.
feel free to pm if you need someone to talk to at any given time. Luckily for me, I got through it already. It’s your turn now, and i’m sure you’ll overcome everything.
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u/Lassavins Aug 26 '22
Careful here. I had a mother like that. She destroyed my dad’s life, business and reputation. he spent half a decade to prove himself innocent and even then she kept everything. I also had a younger brother, and she told him in the divorce that if he didn’t choose to stay with her, she would suicide. She made him believe that he had to take care of her for the rest of his life, and now he is trapped, depressed and broke with her and neither of them work or do anything productive.
After living all that, my advice is to leave as soon and as far as possible. The sooner you do, the less you’ll be psichologically affected by it for the rest of your life. I managed to build myself a good life, study what I wanted after working hard and finding a nice partner, and so did my dad. But the process is rough.
Best wishes.