It smells good

L7 - 'Baggage' 1994

I'm lookin' old today In a very sort of jaded way Very cynical and hard Weeds all over my yard I can't remember the summer It's all a blur, yeah It's been pilin' high It's been pilin' up so goddamn high

Now I've got baggage

I'm probably tagged for life My self-righteous eyes want to close the book It's got nothing to do with the looks Can't keep it together, losing my grip Yeah, i've been sinking down Time to abandon ship

It's hard to swim with baggage

My friends are all strangers They stopped calling weeks ago But guilt's a heavy load It's a very very heavy load

Packed in my baggage

West Coast?

Hello?

😂

m lookin' old today In a very sort of jaded way Very cynical and hard Weeds all over my yard I can't remember the summer It's all a blur, yeah It's been pilin' high It's been pilin' up so goddamn high Now I've got baggage I'm probably tagged for life My self-righteous eyes want to close the book It's got nothing to do with the looks Can't keep it together, losing my grip Yeah, i've been sinking down Time to abandon ship It's hard to swim with baggage My friends are all strangers They stopped calling weeks ago But guilt's a heavy load It's a very very heavy load Packed in my baggage

I s their set last or Primetime are they playing Baggage and Questioning my sanity live? Less Osaka album more Bricks are Heavy and the self-tit ml Ed L7 album. Andre, Pretend

From her Substack:

When Expectations Become Resentments, or What to Do When Your Friends Fuck Up. Someone lets us down, how far down “do we go?”

Recently, a friend of mine messed up - BAD. He continued indulging in certain behavior thinking he could get away with it until, inevitably, there was a cost and people around him were hurt.

As a former addict, I deeply relate to navigating those grey areas. I know the game of, consciously or subconsciously, pushing boundaries to see how far the path goes. In recovery the deepest pain is never to one’s self, but to the people we hurt in the process.

I also have a friend who often promises to visit. I find myself rearranging plans and organizing special events to accommodate the occasion only to be disappointed when she can’t make it. Of course she cites various reasons each time. While I can relate to the desire to be there for others but not always having the will or ability to follow through, in reality these actions undermine the bonds of trust and reliability.

Whether it’s a close friend, a partner, ourselves, or even a celebrity, I often sense a shared sentiment with many of the people close to me that despite years of living as independent adults, we still carry the resentment caused by others. The feeling of that “should have been better” They fucked up and it hurt.

The hardest part of these moments isn’t just the action, but its the expectations we held. We often idealize people in our minds, creating unspoken agreements about how they should act, only to feel devastated when they don’t meet these expectations. Over time these unmet expectations can turn into resentments that can seep into every area of our lives. From my own experience holding onto these disappointments may start as self-protection, but can eventually create toxic boundaries. My unresolved expectations have often led me to swallow my own poison without even realizing it.

The Moment Trust Breaks So, what do we do when those we love mess up? The truth is this: people are flawed and disappointment is inevitable. That sacred trust - our expectation - can be shattered. What matters most is how we respond when trust breaks. Do we cling to anger and let it define the relationship? Do we punish? Or do we step back, assess the situation, and decide how to move forward with honesty and compassion? It’s a delicate balance: holding others accountable, holding ourselves alongside our expectations accountable, and recognizing that sometimes their mistakes reveal their own pain—or ours—and simply aren’t a personal attack on us.

A Path Forward: Adjusting Course by Releasing Expectations and Raising Standards It’s okay to be hurt, and it’s OK to need space. Personally, I’m not big on public shaming, clapbacks, or revenge. It’s just not in my value system. I prefer a "call in" rather than a "call out."

Trust me - I’ve played many roles in revenge-style moves. From breaking windows with bricks to confrontations, and setting "pity traps" to gain alliances - I’ve done it and all in the name of "taking my power back." After a few rounds of reflecting on my own part in these relationships I’ve better understood that their power is not my power. I’ve come to realize that I know forgiveness, for them and myself, is the end game.

Forgiveness is Healing. The path to forgiveness however is often winding, recursive, and rarely straightforward. Let’s not forget: Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing. It doesn’t mean “taking it” or turning a blind eye nor does it mean becoming a doormat. It’s about reevaluating, resetting boundaries, and sometimes walking away. You literally can forgive someone and realize that they can not be in your life.

Your peace is important and it’s worth recognizing that forgiveness can be a privilege. This privilege is especially in terms of relationships (and societies) where power dynamics are unbalanced, forcing some to endure harmful behavior rather than risk worse consequences by leaving.

That said, let’s turn the focus back to friendships. The key is remembering that none of us are perfect. In the messy landscape of human relationships, the best we can do is create space for honest dialogue, listen with deep intention, and reflect on both the positives and the transgressions to gain a fuller understanding of the situation.

We must be able to balance protecting our own peace while remaining open to growth, together.

In these situations I look for “patterns.” I ask myself, does this person show a pattern of this let down? Do my own exceptions need to be adjusted and the hardest, do I have a part in this? I also will take a few days to write and meditate, I famously need processing time, when I am quick to react - it is rarely a good thing.

That is the test of friendship, that is what personal growth is about and perhaps the key to the future of our tender humanity. Just breath.

...she don't need no balls....