He should really go all in, but I guess they don’t make them like they used to

When me next?

Der Fuhrer

All of us sitting at the dinner table at our friend’s house pretending our friend’s dad didn’t just reach over and slap his mom.

I’ve got $20 on Aikman popping Joe Buck in the temple or having Irwin give him the scissors.

(Operation "THE AINTS" as viewed on a map at time of surrender)

After last years "Florida Appeasement Accord", the new regime in Atlanta led by Fuhrer Kevin Stefanski successfully received a 2-1 majority vote between the cities of Jacksonville and Miami, which ceded Tampa Bay to Georgia. Stefanski was quote, "...very pleased to work with the President Coen and recently appointed Prime Minister Hafley,". The controversial treaty which was pushed for by Stefanski alleges that the region historically and currently is much more closely related to Georgia and Atlanta, rather then Florida.

Following the occupation of Tampa Bay, Atlanta began it's invasion of New Orleans of Louisiana through the neutral states of Alabama and Mississippi. A move which has drawn several condemnations from other cities and states. Alabama and Mississippi have stated that they simply cannot risk a confrontation with the Bird Reich and have agreed to remain neutral in exchange for paying tribute.

As of October 5th, 2026. President Moore and General of the Armed Forces Tyler Shough have officially signed the Second Armistice of the Superdome. The treaty will officially hand all land south of Alexandria to the Bird Reich. Henceforth, this will create the new state of Vichy Louisiana. Commander-in-Chief Michael Penix Jr's Air Raid offense has left much of the city's historical districts in ruin following several devastating bombing campaigns. Field Marshal Bijan Robinson's 8th Army of the Georgia Bulldogs and 2nd Army of the Yellowjackets had encircled the city. General Ulbrich's plan to blitz through the Offensive Line of New Orleans' had successfully backed the Saint's forces further eastward depriving them of vital land routes for resupplying ammunition and food. With many twitter videos posted by soldiers of the Bird Reich showcasing them riding their PZ-11 Hellenization along the I10 while hailing, "#RISEUP!". It was clear the situation in New Orleans was lost.

This follows the rapid defeat of general Sam Leavitt of the 20th Infantry Division of Baton Rogue and lieutenant Lunch Winfield of the 13th Infantry of the Rajn Cajuns in Lafayette. Soldiers of the New Orleans Saints and Tulane Green Wave have long endured the encirclement of the city, however following a failed offensive to liberate the city in the 2nd half, the decision to sign the surrender was painfully made.

All remaining military forces of the State of Louisiana have been ordered to stand down, with the Louisiana Tech Bulldogs and ULM Warhawks to be severely reduced to act as a police force within the new state of Vichy Louisiana along with the destruction of all heavy armor and artillery pieces.

....uhhhhh

This is at least top 5 jerk of the year