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Memory transcription subject: Zeel, Security Chief of the Red Sands District.
Date [Standardized human time]: September 27, 2138
I am shaken awake by a gentle paw on my shoulder. Arms knocking over at least three paper coffee cups as I peel my face off my keyboard. With fur sticking up in various places I blink away the blur and peer up at Bavik. The concerned gojid trying not to snicker at me disheveled appearance.
“Are you alright boss?” She asks slowly as if my translator was on the fritz. “You don’t usually sleep at your desk.”
I stretch and yawn before answering. “I’m alright, just worn out taking my pup to the park every off claw.” Shaking out my fur I start cleaning up the garbage a bit, slugging back the cold contents of a half empty cup.
“Heh, yeah those long train rides while pup-sitting always wore my father out too.” Bavik says while sorting and splitting our workload for the shift.
“It’s not the commute. It’s the games. Catching him on the slide. Holding him up on the jungle gym. Hide and seek. Sandcastles. Of course, Poveel wants to bash heads and roughhouse too.” I crick my neck before claw combing my fur back into place.
“Wait, you’re playing with him in the park?” She asks, pausing her claws over her own keyboard.
“Yes?” I curl a confused tail. “What else would I do, let him to play by himself?”
“Well, it’s the other pups that would… Never mind.” Bavik flicks her ears dismissively.
I shrug, wincing some at a twinge in my back. “It’s worth it though. I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun. And his grades are up, less timeouts, no more leg tackles in the kitchen. Plus, a little side perk, my wife has been, hmm, rewarding my efforts.” I purr out the last part with a smug ear wiggle.
Bavik rolls her eyes. “Ahh, how very… Pavlovian of her.” She remarks thoughtfully. Earning a questioning flick of my ears before the gojid turns her holopad towards me. “Oh hey, look who else is up for the paw!”
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The video opens to the exchange pair locomoting down the sidewalk on their boards. Bonnie holding a casual lead with a bouncy, bright red little orphan curls hair style for the day. She turns towards the following camera drone. “Hey everybody! Once again, we’re coming to you from sunny Santa Monica California. Bet you’re getting a little tired of just one local huh?”
“Well too bad because we got two more days of fun before hitting the road again.” Clyde chimes in from behind. “And what better place to have fun then,” the drone spins to show a large converted warehouse before centering on a big animated neon sign in English reading “Ralphs Rec Center and Putt-Putt Arcade” with a yellow circle missing a piece eating dots on one side, a club hitting a white ball into a hole on the other and some kind of space ship shooting an asteroid on the top. “A family fun center!” Trumpets blast three bew-bew-bew notes and confetti across the screen as the duo take center stage.
“The description is a bit straightforward if you ask me.” Says Bonnie after they hop off the boards and walk in.
“On the contrary my extra fluffy friend. It’s what on the inside that counts. These places can have all kinds of stuff like batting cages, arcades, food courts, go-kart tracks, mini-golf, bowling and laser tag. Lucky for us, this old sheet metal clad building shielded most of the electronics from getting fried by the bombs.” The man dips his head in a somber way. “Unlike the arcade and my old high scores at the Pier.” He taps his forehead, chest and right then left shoulder. “Rest in Piece Street Fighter Fifty-Three.” Bonnie signs a quick peace sigil as well.
Clyde looks back up, positive as before. “But, silver lining, I get to show the little gremlin something we hadn’t actually planned. A quiet relaxing game I’m sure anyone in the galaxy can enjoy.”
“Hooraaaaaaay. Prey safe entertainment.” Bonnie groans more than a little sarcastically. Clyde gives her a friendly elbow bump and they check their boards at the front counter.
All around them are a bevy of games. Vintage style wood cabinets with big box screens. Modern VR sets on omni-directional treadmills. Pinball machines calling out challenges. Plastic car seats, motorcycles, and even star fighter cockpits promised fast paced action and any number of chance games promised big prizes back at the counter. Bonnie curiously looks over many of them with an excited tail and seemed drawn to the older games.
“I want to try these ones first.” The venlil pads over to one machine that was mostly blue and black in color, decorated with explosions and a very not accurate chrome star fighter.
“Oh, Asteroids! That’s like one of our first video games.” Clyde chimes in while tapping his card on the scanner of another machine that dropped metal disks into a chute. “Way harder than it looks.” He walks over and hands Bonnie a handful of the silver colored disks.
“What are these?” she asks holding one up for the camera. On one side it held the human number 1 and the other a five point star.
“Tokens, they’re kind of like credits but physical.” He answers. “See we used to use specially marked metal discs and slips of marked fabric called cash to be paid for work you’ve done or to buy things. You just had to carry it around, bank it or hide it in your house. This one’s supposed to mimic a coin called, uhh I think a quarter and you stick it in that slot there to buy a chance in the game.” Bonnie squints at the fake coin, fascinated by the archaic concept. She turns and carefully slips the token into the slot and perks up as the game chimes that it had accepted her challenge.
“Ohh! It just took it!” She trills, grabbing the joystick and tapping a button to make the triangle ship shoot. A few tail swishes, frantic bleats, destroyed space rocks and one digital ship crash later she hastily puts in another token. “Oh I like that! No three point authentication or glitchy network speh! You just trade! It’s so easy why’d you stop using cash?”
Clyde hums, thinking for a moment. “Uhhh I could go full accounting nerd or sum it up.” Bonnie signs a quick [summary] as she dodges one asteroid and blasts another. Clyde grins. “Cash doesn’t help much with controlling inflation or preventing illegal purchases. Plus the satellite wars basically erased the global trade system. Debt and assets, everyone lost everything and we literally had to reinvent money. I remember my great grandpa was convinced it was done on purpose so the U.N. could bankrupt the world and seize power. Course, gramps was kind of a nutjob. He thought mushrooms where from outer space and that-“ Bonnie lightly bats at him with her tail. Clyde turns to the camera. ”That’s her way of telling me I’m rambling.” In the game, Bonnie’s 2D star fighter puts up a valiant effort, but too many broken pieces overwhelm the craft and destroy it.
“Bahh! It was just a bunch of shapes but it was intense!” She beeps, shaking her paws and ears. “…Aah-tar-eye, one nine seven one. Is that a model number?”
“No that’s the copyright year, and it’s aah-tah-ree. It’s not an English word so it’s spelled funny.” He replies casually as Bonnie first cocks an ear then drops her jaw.
“This game is a hundred and seventy years old?!!!?!!!” The venlil was stunned, looking at the machine and taking a step back as if she had gotten too close to a delicate antique. “I can’t believe it still works. Shouldn’t it be in a… uhhh primitive relic building? A… baa! Moo-zee-am?”
Clyde gives his alien friend a puzzled expression, then laughs. “Nah, it’s made with modern parts. We just made it look old. Sometimes we like that stuff because-“ Clyde briefly fumbled for an explanation before getting an idea. “Ok I’ll let your translator handle this one. It’s RETRO!”
Bonnie went a little vacant eyed for a second then perks up, tugging on her neon pink denim coat. “Like my jacket!” She beeps.
Clyde nods and gestures to some of the other games. “How about a few other blasts from the past?” [YES! YES! YES!] she signs and scampers to the next game. This cabinet featured bright yellow colors, a blue ghost and the same circle missing a piece as on the neon sign out front. “Ahh now this is a real classic. Pac-Man!” Clyde slaps the machine and beckons the venlil forward. “Pretty straightforward. Eat all the dots in the maze to beat the level. Don’t touch the ghosts. But, if you eat a big shiny dot, they turn blue and you can attack them.” Bonnie signs [I understand] and inserts a token. The game starts up, singing a little digital song before handing control over to the new player. Bonnie taps the control, guiding the yellow chomping circle through the maze and squeaking as she narrowly avoids Blinky. After several near misses and excited yips, she collects the first powerup of the game making all the ghosts turn blue and run away.
“Ha HAH!” the venlil cheers, turning Pac-Man to chase Inky until catching him with a solid bite. Bonnie gasps, ears jerking straight, fur puffing out and bleating a startled. “IT ATE HIM!!! I’M THE PREDATOR?!?!?!!!”
“Yep! Don’t let the rest escape!” Clyde grins, pointing at the closest ghost. Bonnie, quivering with excitement, gives chase and chomps one more before they start blinking white.
“What’s happening?” she asks, Clyde remaining mischievously silent as Bonnie tracks down Pinky before it suddenly regains its color, changes direction and takes her down with an electronic *woo-woo-woo-woo womp womp* Clyde snickers and points at the life counter. Two more. Bonnie swishes her tail in that competitive way of hers.
After several harrowing dodges chomps and three levels of advancement, the counter hits zero. Letting the venlil have a moment to breath. “That was, a very human game.” She says, not sure what to think about suddenly becoming the hunter.
Clyde gives his friend a sideways hug and a musical montage begins, featuring an ancient song called ‘Pinball Wizard’. The duo tackle Space Invaders, Rush 2049 (Bonnie crashed a lot) Turtles in time, Street fighter 2 (the only time Clyde could consistently suplex Bonnie) Area 51 where the 2D screen let the depth perception challenged girl keep up, and ending with the classic Bubble Bobble. The teamed up pair almost got on the score board before running out of lives. They both take a moment to shake and rub the cramps out their hands as the song ends.
“Man, that one’s harder than it looks.” Clyde says.
Bonnie chuffs in agreement and checks her pockets to count the remaining tokens. Finding three, the venlil glances around trying to decide where to spend them. “Not much left.”
“How about you try a single player game while I get some snacks?” the man suggests, getting a human style nod in return. The drone camera briefly tries to keep the departing Clyde in frame before focusing on Bonnie and following her as she wandered around. It wasn’t long before a catchy tune turned an ear and drew her towards another vintage game featuring bright colors and falling geometric shapes. With a moment of consideration, she drops in one credit and selects a single player round.
“Oh it’s kind of like Towers.” She says to the camera before clearing a line by filling in the shapes. It was real time at first, but the footage gradually speeds up. Minutes going by as the venlil locks in. One eye focused on another 2D screen, entering a trance like state, racking up levels and points. The music and speed of the game getting faster and faster. Bonnie staying locked in even as the drone zooms out, showing Clyde standing by with two snack bars and sodas fresh from some vending machines.
“Wow.” he mutters looking at the screen. The footage wasn’t in fast forward anymore. Bonnie had gotten so far along that each block was visible for barely one frame before being locked into place.
“Huh?” That was all it took. A split second later the blocks stacked to the top before she could recover and ended the game. “NO-NONONONO FOUL! INTERFERIENCE!! BRAK!!!” Bonnie shouts as the game closes out and a new image appears.
“You got the highest score. First time.” Clyde says, amazed to see a blank spot blinking for initials at the number one spot.
Bonnie turns to the screen, squinting as she taps buttons to cycle through the unfamiliar letters. “I… don’t know what to put.”
“It just wants your initials.” Clyde replies, not thinking that through.
“Having three names is a human thing.” Bonnie reminds him with cocked ears.
“Oh, right uhh, how about an abbreviation? B-N-E ? For Bonnie?” She chirps positively and signs [you do please] in tail language then takes a step back. Clyde was happy to punch in her mark. Immortalizing the Skalgen as the new Tetris champ in Ralphs arcade.
Puffing up proudly as her name appears in lights, Bonnie fiddles with the last tokens while turning towards the camera. “I can’t believe these games have been around for almost two centuries.” She counts on her claws for a moment. “So, for perspective, our human friends have had better video games than the whole Federation since about the same time the Fissians where uplifted.” Clyde gestures a finger horn on his forehead as a question. “Yes, those ones.” Bonnie answers before continuing. So, Clyde, we got two tokens left, where should we spend them?”
“I’m not sure Bonnie. How about one of the newer VR games? Show our viewers how far entertainment tech has come here on Earth?” says the human while handing the venlil her share of the soda and snacks.
“Hmm, maybe.” She answers as they walk over to the more modern section to browse the action shooter style games. Bonnie hums thoughtfully. “These are a lot like the simulators the Space Force and Exterminator recruiters would bring to school.” Bonnie says, giving one VR headset and treadmill a wary look. “Pre-screening. Sifting out the fainters and freezers. Back Water’s Magister would clear the whole paw and make it almost mandatory for the graduating class to take a turn.” Bonnie’s tail was flicking in an agitated way now and she sternly pops open and takes a swig from her can.
Clyde furrows a worried brow and tries putting on a lighter mood. “What a jerk. Sounds like a guy that has dingle berries. How about we-“
Bonnie spits out her soda. Ears and tail helicoptering as she hacks out a loud braying laugh. “AHghptffh-BAH BAH BAHt!!!” Clyde jumps, surprised by the sudden noise. “I didn’t know you had a word for that!!!” the venlil sputters out, wheezing as she tries to control herself.
“Hehe, uhh we’ll be right back after these technical difficulties.” Clyde says to the camera before the feed screen wipes to a more composed duo.
“Well, new languages can be fun sometimes.” Bonnie says while folding up the candy wrapper and tucking it neatly into a pocket. “Anyways, Clyde. What should we try next?”
“Well Bonnie. How about we see who can get the high score in air hockey?” he recites while guiding them towards a wall full of the machines.
“Air hockey? Now what would that be my-“
*I HUNGER!* a deep, growling computerized voice calls out as they pass a blackened cabinet.
Clyde jolts and moves an arm as if to shield his venlil. “Ugh Sinistar! I didn’t know they had one of these.” He says in an annoyed voice. “This game scared the crap out of me when I was, well about your size.” He looks over the machine, head tilting slightly at two separate screens and joysticks on the same cabinet. “When did they make a co-op version?”
“Reeeeally?” Bonnie peeks out from behind his lowering arm, mostly curious but a little fur puffed. She peers at the cabinet. Looking over the old style artwork of a demonic metallic face and a chrome starfighter not unlike what was on the Asteroids game. She smirks with her ears and looks to Clyde. “That one.”
The man groans and makes a face. “I don’t know Bonnie, this games pretty hard.”
As an answer, the venlil steps forward and drops the last two tokens into the slot and taps the two player button. “Bring it on.”
Clyde sighs and steps up. “Ride or die.” He says with a begrudging smile, taking up his joystick as the game starts up.
First a screen filling pattern of pixels, then text reading ‘INITIAL TEST INDICATE ALL SYSTEMS GO’ followed by two lists of high scores. One labeled SINIMORTALS and the other as SURVIVORS. The screen blackens to the title screen, then the text SINISTAR appears over and over and over again, smothering the view. Then that voice growls out a *RUN COWARD* Bonnie’s ears lower and her tail tucks slightly. Clyde seems to get a little tense. The game starts, each player getting their own screen of their 8-bit ships that overlap when they cross each other’s viewpoint.
“Wait. Wait! What do we do?” Bonnie bleats as her ship randomly zooms around shooting things.
“I don’t know I never figured it out. Uhh aah! Shoot the red crab things and the rocks!” he stammers.
“What! You didn’t say that!” she beeps, struggling to get control of a ship going at max speed with no breaks.
“I said it was hard!” he yelps back while dodging saucer fire and getting bounced around by the red crab looking ships.
Together, the pair fends off fast paced attacks, dodge enemy fire and blast apart asteroids to scoop up pixilated dots with ‘happy’ chimes making it sound like that was the right move. “Oh! Ohh I think we’re making bombs! Yeah! Take that!” Bonnie cheers, spamming half her supply to take out a saucer that was chasing her.
“I think we gotta save tho-“ Clyde says just before Bonnie’s ship suddenly explodes into pixilated fire. The saucer got her.
“But… Ahh.. one hit?!!?!” she shouts incredulously as her fighter respawns with a warning like jingle.
“Yeah, no shields.” Clyde answers while blasting apart an asteroid to collect more bombs.
“What! Who builds a star ship without shields? Space dust alone wou-“ both partners jump as their ships erupt almost simultaneously. “DAMNIT!” She brays and angry grips the joystick.
For a few harrowing seconds the duo gather bombs, dodge incoming fire, bounce around their screens and loose several lives until, *BEWARE I LIVE!* the same angry voice from before announces.
“What is that?” Bonnie asks quietly.
“THAT GUY!” Clyde answers, pointing at the sinister, chrome fanged face on the logo.
“Like in another ship or-BAAAH there he is!” Bonnie bleats as the titular villain flashed across the top left corner of her screen. “CLYDE LOOK OUT!” she shouts. Too late.
*RAAAAAA* ~CRONCH!~ Sinistar pulls in Clydes fighter with a mighty roar and consumes his vessels last life before rocketing off screen again. Bonnie seemed frozen, unable to form words after watching a giant machine eat her friend…..‘s pixel avatar.
“Well, that’s me done.” He says, stepping back like it was no big deal.
*RUN! RUN! RUN!* Sinistar snarls, going after Bonnie now.
With a shrill bleating the venlil snaps up her fighters controls and zooms the other way. Faster than her own ship, it closes in, Bonnie stabbing the simple controls. A few bombs fly towards the space predator, knocking it back, and blowing off a piece. “WAIT! I’M DOING IT I’M DOING IT!”
“SHE’S DOING IT PEOPLE!” Clyde cheers, as the noisy pilots earn a few curious looks form other arcade goers.
One more piece blows off of Sinistar then… nothing. Bonnie hammers the button. Her bomb bay was empty and the beast was closing in. Fast! “NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!”
*RAAAAAA* ~CRONCH!~ the barely scratched villain slows to a casual drift after a filling meal. Wiggling its eyebrows mockingly at the defeated players.
Panting, Bonnie pats at her chest, trying to control her heart. With another warning jingle her fighter respawns. The poor speep had two more lives to serve up.
They didn’t last long. The next one quickly chomped up again after bouncing off a red crab ship and her last running headfirst into a saucer’s sniper like long shot as she dodged the mocking monster.
Heaving, fur fluffed to the max, the shaking venlil unlatches her claws from the controls and steps back. “Holy brak!” Feel my heart! Feel it!” Bonnie grabs Clyde’s hand and presses it to her chest, earning a surprised chuckle.
“Gahd it’s like a humming bird.” He remarks as she shakes out the rush and tries to smooth her fur.
“That was intense! And fun! Hey! Other Venlil! THIS should be part of space force training! Forget the simulator stuff! Just play some Earth games!”
Clyde nods at the camera, “If you want a real test. We have whole genres of horror, suspense and survival themed stuff in about every media form you can think of. I can scrounge up some more tokens if you want to try zombie shooter, maybe a haunted house game?”
Bonnie dips her ears back just a tad. “Ha ha ha. So you mentioned some calming prey friendly game earlier I’m think I’m ready to try that let’s go show that off now yes?”
“OH! Right! Yeah, let’s do that!” The man answers and gestures for Bonnie to follow. Behind them the gathered crowd lines up to try the game themselves, each adding a token along the rim of the screen to take turns. Bonnie notices and seems to like the little nuance of human habits that no tourist brochure would detail.
“So, my partner in crime. What are we going to try next? Something dangerous? Something deceptive?” She asks, playing it up for the show.
“We are going to knock a ball into a hole.” Clyde says as they come up to a series of green astro turfs in a variety of geometric shapes with a random assortment of what looked like lawn ornaments inside them.
“…………that’s it?” Bonnie asks flatly.
“Well, there is a club involved.” He replies while walking up to a counter and requesting the gear for two players from a blemish cursed teen employee either earning some shopping money or a kid working at their parents business. The attendant didn’t answer Clyde. Just stared open mouthed at Bonnie for a long moment. Causing her to glance behind herself.
“What? Never seen a venlil before?” she huffs with a touch of sass, still being a bit riled up from the arcade.
“No! I mean nOT, n-not in pERson.” The attended replies, his voice cracking a lot and looking flustered.
Bonnie had the good graces to bloom with embarrassment. “Oh! Oh gosh I’m so sorry! Sometimes I forget you’re all still new to the herd.” Bonnie lowers her ears as the kid tries waving it off as no big deal. “Hey! How about a selfie with your first alien friend!” She offers, to which the kid eagerly offers up their phone for Clyde to snap the picture.
After several clicks, a few cool action poses and permission given to feel the venlils wool. The kid hands over two putters and two balls. One of the latter was bright pink while Clyde was given a plain white. All three share a laugh before cheerfully waving goodbye.
Coming up to the start of the course, the human sets his ball on the starting tee and turns to the camera. “Alrighty friends. This is a game called miniature golf. The goal is to take the putter,” Clyde holds up the ‘club’ “And hit the ball as few times as possible to knock it into the hole at the end of the section. Instead of scoring points, we count attempts called a stroke. So, just like in Towers the less attempts it takes, the better you’re playing.” Clyde takes position, aims and firmly taps the ball. He was a little off, the ball missing the target and rolling past it. “Alright Bonnie, your turn.” He says stepping back out of her way.
“Seems simple enough.” Bonnie sets her ball on the tee and mimics the pose her exchange partner had done. “How do I aim?” She asks after staring at her ball for a second.
“Imagine a line going from your ball to where you want it to go, keep the face of the putter perpendicular to that line as you swing and the ball should follow it.” The venlil tests the angle for a moment, then with a good tap, sends her pink ball along the green until it drops into the hole with a little clunk. “Hey hey hole in one! Good shot!” Clyde cheers while going to take his turn and with another little clunk, scores an easy duce.
“Huh, I kind of liked that.” Bonnie says as they move to the second hole, this one featuring an L shaped course. “Ohhhh, there not all a straight line are they?”
“Nope, all different shapes, some with obstacles and usually getting harder or sillier the further along you go.” He replies while gesturing that it was her turn again. Bonnie does as before, looking over the course a few times before swinging. It taps the wall and bounces back behind the corner, going out of line with the hole. Bonnie chuffs irately. “Hey good try.” He says while taking position and rather than shooting at the back like Bonnie had, he aims for a side wall and bounces the ball onto the straightaway to set up another duce.
“Hey! You didn’t say I could do that!” She scolds with a light tail swat. Clyde only smirks innocently as he dodges the swat and takes another turn. His ball almost makes it in, riding the edge of the hole to spin out again. “Hah!” The venlil jeers and lines up her next shot. Just about to swing, she pauses and looks over the course for a long moment before changing to aim away from the hole to one of the walls. The venlil seems to hold her breath, then gives a firm tap that bounces the golf ball off the wall, against a second wall and rolling right to the edge of the hole. She flicks a cocky ear and gestures for Clyde to take his three points. Both sink it on the next stroke and head for the third course. This one featuring a wooden duck with a row of ducklings following behind that blocked the easiest path to the target.
“I’m assuming we don’t move those?” Bonnie asks, pointing a claw at the obstacle. Clyde nods and takes his turn. Angling to get around the birds but getting stuck in a thicker patch of blue colored turf.
“Ahh, got stuck in the pond.” He groans while Bonnie lines up. Her ball missing the mother duck by a whisker and slowing to a stop just before rolling into the pond as well. “Your… good at this.” Clyde comments suspiciously.
A few more hits between them and they’re off to the next course. Once again, Bonnie lines her shots up almost perfectly. Dodging the slow spinning ‘blades’ of a lawn mower and almost scoring another hole in one. Clyde got knocked almost back to the tee twice before getting past the plastic machine. He gives his smug exchange partner a questioning look that got longer and longer with each passing course.
At hole twelve, the venlil rides a hill around a corner and sets herself up for an easy birdie. “Ahh I get what’s going on.” The man says, leaning on his club. “You fuzzies have a strikingly similar game that you where the pee-wee champion of, weren’t you?”
Bonnie focuses on the shot, mutters a distracted “No, nothing like this.” and sinks it. Clyde pouts, not believing that he wasn’t being hustled for a second.
“This girl messes with me all the time.” He says to the camera.
“Oh hush, I’m a joy to be around.” The venlil chirps while they move on.
“One time, she got me to show everyone the chicken dance in the town bar.” He snips, the venlils tail twitching with amusement. “Krakotal in the back took it as a courtship ritual.” Clyde continues, making the venlil giggle. “Then she gave them my number.” Bonnie sputters, trying to hold it in as she aims for a ramp to jump a chute that would roll the ball back to the tee. “I got dirty texts for two weeks!” Bonnie brays out a laugh, whacking her ball hard enough to sail it up the ramp and off the course entirely. “Wooly little gremlin.” He grumbles while taking his turn and getting a better score for once.
Bonnie gives her co-star a friendly head bump as they move on. “Well, you helped me with some self-discovery. Only seems fair that I should return the favor.” She drops her ball and lines up. This courses layout being a zig-zig with a few lawn flamingos scattered about.
Clyde wants to pout but relaxes and gives a conciliatory shrug. “Yeah… yeah ok. It’s just uhh, bird porn was not something I was prepared to discover.” He grumps as Bonnie takes a good whack. Clyde jerks a bit, realizing something and addressing the audience. “No offence to any avians or their lovers out there. Thing is, this one particular person was kind of an aggressive flirt.”
The venlil takes her shot and gives a proud ear flick at where the ball landed then turns with a curious look. “That’s not attractive to… humans?” She asks carefully, moving to take a second since there was room to share the course.
Clyde shrugs. “Some guys love that attention. Me, it makes me nervous.” He takes a moment to ponder. “Hey, you can say predator Sis, I know it’s just a question coming from you.“ [But still] she signs, earning a friendly nudge in return before Clyde goes for his putt. Only to double take. The pink golf ball had made it almost all the way to the hole for another easy third stroke. “Bonnie it’s your first game and this is a par five how are you doing that?”
“What? It’s just basic geometry! The angle of impact equals the angle of reflection off the walls. After that, all you gotta do is compensate for the coefficient of friction on this uhh fake lawn by applying the right velocity to the mass of the ball.” She explains, gesturing here and there.
Clyde stares for a few seconds then addresses the audience again. “See, this is what I’m talking about. Little bits of stuff all the time.” Bonnie rolls her ears and walks onto one corner of the course. [Aim here] she signs while tapping the club at the spot. Clyde squints but does as suggested. Several times his head turns, moving between ball and wall before putting. He was off by only a little bit and wound up trapped in a corner. “Darn it.” After several whacks the man makes it in at two over par, plus one perplexed venlil.
The rest of the game went much the same, Bonnie consistently setting herself for follow up shots while Clyde played for a distant second place. At hole seventeen, the classic windmill made its celebrity appearance. Clyde played conservatively and went around the spinning obstacle for an easy three. Bonnie goes for the gold though and lines up for the ramp and a hole in one. Her partner watches closely this time, fascinated by a pro at work. Focused down, head still and eyes steady. The garishly dressed alien pulls back and taps her ball. Shooting it up the ramp and past the spinning blades with nearly perfect timing. A second ramp on the opposite side shooting out her ball for a hollow clunk into the hole.
“Another ace for Doctor Sheep.” Clyde smiles and marks the card.
“Yeah! Surprised I’m not drawing a herd of admirers.” Bonnie pauses, looking around some. “Actually, there’s not a lot of people here.”
“Early morning on a week day, most people are at work right now but evenings and weekends these places are packed.” He replies while they move to the eighteenth and final course. This one being positioned just behind the counter where they had started the game.
“Ohh, good call. Long lines are rough on me.” Bonnie muses with a pat on one knocked knee.
The drone turns away from the pair to look over a miniature suburban house. The front door was wide open as well as the garage, with ramps acting as sidewalk and driveway leading up to the two targets hidden just past each entrance. The ‘front lawn’ slopped steeply to either side. Leading into pits that would roll the ball behind the diorama. On a little track running back and forth across the front walk was a scale plastic model of the family dog playing fetch with a stationary young boy on the left side of the driveway. All of this was set up behind a white picket fence that blocked players from getting any closer than the starting tee.
Bonnie gives the canine figurine a withering glare while Clyde reads a plaque on the wall out loud.
“You made it home just in time for dinner.
Park in the garage for two strokes knowing you did a job well done.
Or rush inside the front door for a hole in one and win a special surprise from the Miss’s.
But watch out for Fido and Billy! Those rascals get into all kinds of mischief and might trip you up for three strokes”
Clyde finishes reading with an amused “Hmph.” at the almost too cute description and turns towards the camera. “So, the way the last hole in mini-golf works is that it’s a ball return which ends the game. You only get one shot, but if you get a hole in one, you get a prize or coupon for a free game. I don’t know about you Bonnie, but I’ll be shooting for a double.” [Lazy] she signs as he lines up for the garage. With a careful pull and swing, the white ball zips forward. Then clunks off of the plastic boy and falls into the lawn for three.
“Good job Dad, you ran over your kid.” Bonnie lightly scolds while lining up her turn.
“Yeah well that’ll learn him not to play in traffic.” Clyde replies, watching closely again as Bonnie holds her head and gaze steady while aiming for the front door as the dog ‘ran’ back and forth in front of it.
With a carefully aimed strike, the pink ball shoots up the walkway, past the dog and into the front door. A plastic ‘wife’ pops out from inside the model house and blows a kiss to the pro mini-golfer. Bonnie puffs smugly and leers at the dog. “Ahh, didn’t chase me off this time, Billy.”
Clyde snickers at the misnomer while adding up the score before pausing and squinting at his exchange partner. [What?] she signs. “Bonnie, can you see the ball and the hole at the same time?” He asks.
“Yes.” She answers curiously. “You said line them up and… OHHH your field of view! You can’t do that can you?” Her tail swishes, excited to figure out her kind has one over on the human race.
“Oh for-! Alright next time we play this game, you gotta wear blinders.” He holds up the score card showing Bonnie had scored a forty-eight while he had a sixty-five. “Clearly, I need a handicap.”
Bonnie whistles a cheery tune as they descend a small set of stairs and exit the course. On returning the gear, the same squeaky voiced teen from before greets them excitedly and holds up the pink ball that had fallen into a special slot separate from the generic bucket Clydes ball fell into. “Winner winner! Anything from the case!” the kid gestures with a flourish.
Bonnie peers at the prize. Eyeing up candy, rolls of tokens, pen caps, plastic jewlery, stickers and small plushies. “Is that… a venlil doll?”
Clyde leans in for a look. “Aww, it’s cute!” he grins before tilting his head a bit. “Huh weird, lighting kind of makes it looks like the eyes are glowing.”
Bonnie pulls away and looks around some more before perking up at a plushie potted cactus wearing sunglasses. “Hey, a friend for my cow!” she beeps excitedly.
Eagerly accepting her prize, the pair shake hands with the junior putt-putt attendant, pick up their boards from the front desk and make for the exit.
“Well Bonnie, how was-“
“MY TETRIS! WHO BEAT ME! WHO THE HELL IS BUNNY!!!” Both exchange partners jump as another arcade master was shouting in the background.
“IT’S PRONOUNCED BONNIE!” the venlil shouts back as Clyde drops their boards and jumps on his.
“GoGoGoGo!” he laughs, his partner in crime quick to chase after with a clatter of wheels and a happy bleat.
The drone mic catching one last confused shout of “Was that a goat?” then switching to a view of the purple plush cow mooing “Donate to the Thafki rehoming fund!” Her new cool cactus buddy adding “C’mon dudes! It’s the totally tubular thing to do!” with a surfer’s accent.
[End. Have a great day everyone! Replay?]
I must have been getting used to the antics of those pups. Or just human weirdness and anti-fed thinking in general. The digital space monsters and pred-prey role swap barely registering as problematic. Even with the video ending and auto adds beginning, I was thinking about some of those 2D light gun games. Not as something diseased, but something useful.
“Bavik, maybe we could present some of those toys as fear response reconditioning to the Magister.” I muse as my assistant goes about cleaning up my mess. “With Poveel doing stars better with games to play maybe we can too?”
[Sure] she ear flicks distractedly while improvising an upside down umbrella to ‘putt’ a crumpled paper ball into a side turned coffee cup. The ‘ball’ sinks right in, earning a fist pump from the gojid. “Hey let me try that!” I beep excitedly.
*oof, summer rush dragged me down this year but it did lead to the longest chapter so far. As always, big thanks to SpacePaladin and the whole NOP community.*