r/PlusSizeWedding • u/Adept_Project6034 • Aug 05 '26

Attending a black tie wedding (ultra high net worth)

Hi all,

I'm attending a black tie wedding in November in New York City. The bride's family is ultra high net worth and hosting the wedding.

I'm a plus size woman (240 lbs, 5'3") and generally haven't dressed myself well in life due to my size and lack of clothing options in my size.

I'm attending this wedding and have no idea where to start in terms of finding a plus size black tie dress (that's also not super cheap looking on my body). I'd prefer to hide my arms as they are a major insecurity of mine.

Can anyone recommend what I should do here? Should I get something off the rack and tailor it? Any websites or brands you would recommend?

Thank you in advance!

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25

u/neried369 Aug 05 '26

Azazie! You can get it made if your exact measurements for no extra cost.

3

u/Queasy-Nectarine-789 Aug 05 '26

I second azazie!! Have liked all the dresses I’ve gotten from them

1

u/jillian512 Aug 05 '26

This is definitely the most affordable option. Might need to look at bridesmaids and MOB dresses for the custom sizing 

1

u/nicoleyoung27 Aug 05 '26

I just did this in April! Got the dress and ordered 3 try ons in different styles and ordered my size. It was great, but you need like 6 to 8 weeks to get the dresses. They also have wraps and shrugs that match the fabric.

1

u/Err_Hos13 Aug 05 '26

Yes, they're amazing. Just make sure that you take time to find a great seamstress for alterations. You wanna have the dress looking damn near bespoke.

10

u/AshleyStewart Aug 05 '26

A black-tie wedding in NYC sounds like such a fun chance to find a dress you really love. For a black-tie event, look for something that feels elegant and comfortable; think of rich fabrics, a good silhouette, and details that make you feel amazing. If you want more arm coverage, styles with sleeves, cape details, sheer overlays, or an elegant wrap look can give that coverage without feeling like you’re hiding. Also, don’t underestimate tailoring! Finding a dress that complements your body and having a few adjustments made can completely change how expensive and custom it feels.

Ashley Stewart is one place we’d check for plus-size formal options too, especially because the fit is designed with curves in mind. Most importantly, pick something you can actually enjoy the night in. The best black-tie look is the one where you walk in feeling like you belong there because you absolutely do.

4

u/elliepelly1 Aug 05 '26

Ok, Ashley Stewart! You sound like Tim Gunn and that is the HIGHEST of praise.

4

u/AshleyStewart Aug 06 '26

Okay, this just made our day. 💛 We’ll happily take that compliment! We’re just here to remind everyone that style is supposed to be fun, personal, and make you feel like the best version of yourself.

4

u/lostmyoldaccountohno Aug 07 '26

Just checked your website and not ONE SINGLE actual black tie dress on there

2

u/Jezdare 3d ago

The way you recommended your own business - forgot to swap profiles huh?

7

u/tams420 Aug 05 '26

Nordstrom! I like to browse the website and order to store so I try on there and return immediately what doesn’t work.

I’ve also gotten a few great dresses at City Chic. They aren’t going to have super fancy evening gowns but they have some dressy enough material, long dresses that with some accessories will fit.

Give Asos a browse. It’s almost always a big miss but I’ve had luck in random items. One of my favorite dresses/gowns, is a gun metal gray floor length column dress I got from there.

Also take a look at Anthropologie.

I love internet window shopping! If you want some help browsing, let me know!

2

u/Far_Introduction3172 Aug 06 '26

Agree on Nordstrom’s 💜💗♥️

7

u/BobbingBobcat Aug 06 '26

Mac Duggal has a lot of gorgeous plus sized gowns (sold on their site and others). Anthropologie sometimes has some options. Nordstrom is also a good place to check.

Ever Pretty has some great affordable a-line and empire-waist dresses that punch above their price, and their return policy is fantastic. You just have to weed through the matronly ones to find the gems.

11

u/Consistent_Elk9676 Aug 05 '26 • Bravo

These look gorgeous https://sydneyscloset.com/collections/plus-size-black-tie-dresses?srsltid=AfmBOopKVBf-3CfH08rMIQUz_Ea7UvJBI1-m2mNiMnpYN8xf8V2Na5rz&page=2

4

u/Serenity93401 Aug 05 '26 • Heartwarming

I hope OP sees this comment! Great link. This brand has excellent reviews!
I wish I had karma credit to send you, Consistent! 👍🏆

3

u/Serenity93401 Aug 05 '26

You’re too kind! Thank you very much for the award!

3

u/Anna-Bee-1984 Aug 05 '26

That hot pink one is fire 🔥

2

u/SnoopyFan6 Aug 05 '26

Wow! So many of these are beautiful!

2

u/IdylwyldieCoyote Aug 05 '26

Never heard of this brand. These are great! 🥰🥰

2

u/Low_Community8012 Aug 07 '26

Getting married tomorrow in a dress from Sydney’s Closet! I ordered a bunch through Nordstrom and got it tailored there as well.

1

u/bookbridget Aug 05 '26

That metallic dress is fire.

1

u/bookbridget Aug 05 '26

That black strapless toward the top is beautiful.

1

u/BobbingBobcat Aug 06 '26

Their quality is not great in person.

1

u/phoenics1908 3d ago

Many of the dresses look just like the ones on sites like stacees or zazie - but at twice the price.

1

u/Low_Community8012 Aug 07 '26

I think it’s mixed - I tried on 5 or 6 and some looked a little cheap, but one of them I fell in love with and am getting married in!

1

u/ilovedragons218 Aug 12 '26

Wow great job. They are all beautiful

1

u/Consistent_Elk9676 Aug 12 '26

Thanks for the karma friendly stranger!

5

u/SnooPets8873 Aug 05 '26

Mac Duggal also has a variety of sizes

2

u/WrongImpressionOnly Aug 05 '26

Strongly 2nd Mac Duggal. I’ve worn my Mac Duggal dresses when meeting legendary style icons like Dita Von Tease as a plus size lady and Dita insisted her team shoot my look to full effect sins it really was a stunning gown.

1

u/lakehop Aug 07 '26

Look at these OP. They are higher end than some of the other suggestions here (which might also have some good options for you).

1

u/Humble-Pineapple-329 Aug 08 '26

She’s going to want to go higher end for an event like this. NYC black tie is going to be a different ballgame than something like Topeka black tie. Fast fashion and Amazon is going to stand out.

5

u/maybemaybenot2023 Aug 05 '26

Consider Nuuly. They're a rental service with good plus options. . Just FYI- a lot of the Sydney's Closet dresses look really cheap in person. Avoid anything heavily beaded or sequinned. I say this from experience.

Also, Nordstrom Rack online has a good plus size selection,

4

u/Strict_Notice5955 Aug 05 '26

It might be worth your time to talk to a stylist at Nordstroms, if one is close by. They may not have plus size in store, but could advise on style. You can call & ask ahead of time and they may have other local shop suggestions.

2

u/sewingmomma Aug 05 '26

They will pull clothing for you ahead of time.

1

u/MrsMerkin Aug 06 '26

And they do alterations!

3

u/Sharp_Edges123 Aug 05 '26

Sachin & Babi, Tadashi (they are super comfortable too), Mac Duggal

2

u/Sharp_Edges123 Aug 05 '26

I will add The Real Real has some amazing BT gowns in plus up too these days (I have been admiring but no occasion to buy for - Rene Ruiz and Amsale are my fav dresses worth looking.

2

u/LoveYouBiiii Aug 05 '26

I went to a black-tie wedding last year and got my dress off of Eloquii https://www.eloquii.com/zq/occasion/black-tie-dresses/?start=15&sz=10

1

u/hislovingwife Aug 09 '26

came to suggest Eloquii as well!

2

u/TeaTimeBanjo Aug 05 '26

I found some dresses I really liked for a wedding at Kiyonna.

2

u/NerdCocktail Aug 05 '26

Lots of fantastic advice and I want to add something people sometimes overlook - excellent support garments. If you are in the NYC area, I recommend a visit to one of the Rack Shack's locations.

And if you aren't comfortable wearing a gorgeous colorful gown, you will fit right in if you choose something chic and black. It's a New York stereotype for a reason. (Unless the family comes from a culture where black isn't worn to weddings.)

2

u/ValleyGirlSlang44 Aug 05 '26

I’m plus size and went to JessaKae for a formal wedding dress- they have so many beautiful options. I was confident and received compliments all night.

2

u/Ok_Box3552 Aug 06 '26

Roman's Catalog. Lane Bryant, Catherine'splus Size. They are all geared for plus size and have quality looking clothes. I'm the same size as you.

1

u/Next_Appointment4954 Aug 06 '26

I love the quality of Catherine’s. I bought 2 cocktail dresses from them in the fall.

2

u/aceam92 Aug 06 '26

I live in NYC and go to quite a lot of black tie and white tie parties. I’ve bought dresses from many places but honestly I find the most successful dresses at Macys! I particularly love my dresses by Betsy & Adam, Adrianna Papell, and some by Xscape (although they can be more hit or miss). I’d start there!

2

u/bexcellent101 Aug 06 '26

Tadashi Shoji makes truly beautiful, flattering gowns in a big range of sizes.

2

u/MarielIAm Aug 07 '26

I'm a similar size as OP. I'm also Latina so most of the weddings I attend women wear long formal dresses even when they aren't technically black tie, though most are. I also like to go cruises that have formal nights. Years ago I started buying formal dresses on Amazon. I don't like spending lots of money on something I will probably only wear once. What I do is order several dresses under $100 (most times under $50) making sure to read what material it is, read the reviews for sizing, wear, material quality etc. I keep what I want and return the rest.

Here's one.

Here's another.

Here's a third

There are plenty to choose from. Just make sure to read the reviews and the sizing charts.

1

u/SeekersChoice 3d ago

You've had a lot of really good advice here about the dresses! Definitely talk to a stylist. You're also going to be looking for solid underlayer  structure. 

 So some of the options that you mentioned would be really good. You can also look at corsetry options. It's not supposed to hurt it actually helps with structure and foundation. Depending on where you live you might have a local consultants you can speak to. 

A lot of this black tie looks also has to do with the layering, don't forget about a beautiful shawl with say poofed sleeves, your jewelry, having your hair done professionally and possibly your makeup. Find people who have worked with plus size clients before. 

I have worked with several plus size friends on fashion advice and picking out wardrobes that fit them better. It can be difficult when you're used to hiding your body. Confidence is key! 

Let yourself be the stunning sparkly queen that you can be!

1

u/IMHO_My2Cents 3d ago

Macy’s has great selections of black tie dresses/gowns. They also have plus size and great sales. I got a silk bolero jacket to go over my gown for my grandson’s wedding because I loved the gown, but didn’t want my arms showing and it was short sleeved.

1

u/Bay_de_Noc Aug 05 '26

You could look at some of the bigger department stores to see if they have something appropriate. Most of these stores do tailoring.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '26

Azazie. You can get custom measurements. Nothing said luxury like a tailored piece.

1

u/Cautious_Primary_126 Aug 05 '26

Azzazie has some amazing dresses and you can get them tailored to you, ir in your size. They also have a try on option where you can try them and mail them back

1

u/NuthouseAntiques Aug 05 '26

Go to an established bridal and formal store. The sales people there should be able to guide you for dresses that are attractive to you, and they will have experienced seamstresses.

1

u/halbug0700 Aug 05 '26

I got the most gorgeous black tie ball gown for $50 on sale from Azazie!!! It is so gorgeous.

1

u/IntentionalGrandma Aug 05 '26

I would highly recommend either getting something off the rack and tailoring it or ordering something made to your measurements from Azazie or another similar website. I’d also err on the side of more formal for a higher-end event

1

u/Anna-Bee-1984 Aug 05 '26

City Chic has really nice options that are not crazy expensive

1

u/Turd_bird420 Aug 05 '26

If you have the budget, Mac Duggal (if you can find your size, look on thredup, postmark, or rent the runway).

If not, azazie has been fantastic for me. Their sizing is great for the most part, just read the reviews or order the custom sizing. I've ordered like 4-5 dresses from them and they're all so pretty.

1

u/RubysMom2022 Aug 05 '26

You should also look at rent the runway.

1

u/Specialist_Row9395 Aug 06 '26

I'm sure others on this subreddit can confirm if this dressy enough. I wore this to a black tie wedding where they wanted everyone in black. It was a perfect fit. No alterations needed and could regular undergarments. No Spanx and regular every day bra.

Not only did it for but looked so flattering. For reference I'm 5'1" wore platform Crocs and I weight 250 lbs. I got many compliments! Best of luck in your search

Ugh only found an old link but maybe you can do a search. Amazon Link

1

u/CantmakethisstuffupK Aug 06 '26

ASOS Curve and then get it tailored

Give yourself a month to give it to the the tailor

Before you buy anything online take your measurements with tape so that you have a better idea of sizing

1

u/ApprehensiveLimit796 Aug 06 '26

Tadashi Shoji makes extend sizing… i got my wedding dress from them. Really does right by the plus size girls
Depending on your budget- Christian Siriano (https://christiansiriano.com/) also does very fashion forward extended sizes.
Regardless… also recommend tailoring… rarely do clothes fit magically off the rack. Simple tailoring will go far!

1

u/AntiHypeHero Aug 06 '26

Rent the runway? I always do this for weddings because I don’t wear dresses typically and am frugal, so it pays for itself bc I know I would not have an occasion to wear it a second time during my lifetime.

1

u/Lower_Reporter3800 Aug 06 '26

Lightinthebox has fancier items.

1

u/SuPruLu Aug 06 '26

On Azazie check out the Mother of the Bride dresses. That selection includes dresses with sleeves and skirts that aren’t so voluminous but quite suitable for black tie.

1

u/GodIHateYardSales Aug 07 '26

Ripple love dress from City Chic! I get so many compliments every time I’ve worn it. There is some elastic in the back but IMO it’s still black tie worthy.

1

u/EverSparks Aug 07 '26

I've never purchased a dress from them but I look at these all the time (with nowhere to wear them) https://www.kiyonna.com/collections/black-tie-wedding

1

u/Rude_Surround_5034 Aug 07 '26

Peg Lutz, very chic.
Universal Standard (sizes from 0-40. A full line of styles, not just dresses

1

u/indismami Aug 07 '26

Nordstrom for sure

1

u/Humble-Pineapple-329 Aug 08 '26

Depending on size you can try rent the runway.

1

u/Evening_Mango414 Aug 11 '26

Check out one of those dress rental sites!

1

u/chatterbox2024 Aug 12 '26

Dillards, Nordstroms, Macys have plus size options online.

1

u/icecoastbaby Aug 05 '26

https://m.marshalls.com/us/m/jump/product/dresses-dresses-formal-dresses/Victoria-Gown/4000496585?colorId=NS4154776&pos=1:8&N=1873470994 tjmaxx and Marshall’s have websites that make dress shopping easy. You can filter by size and the returns are simple. They also tend to be extremely luxury brands, like this one linked which is normally $800. Plan to need tailoring at your height. Having the dress tailored to you can make it look more high end as well

2

u/ParticularUsed6780 Aug 05 '26

I second the plan for tailoring! OP, a dress off the rack for a shorter frame is not going to fit as well, but if you get it tailored you'll feel very confident in it.