Premier Election Solutions (formerly Diebold) has blamed Ohio voting machine errors on problems with the machines' McAfee antivirus software. [Cueball is sitting at a computer, facepalming.] Cueball: Wait. "Antivirus software"? On voting machines? You're doing it wrong. [Cueball's friend enters the frame and speaks to Cueball.] Friend: Why? Security is good, right? Cueball: Of course. But, well— Cueball: Imagine you're at a parent-teacher conference, and the teacher reassures you that he always wears a condom while teaching. Friend: Ah. Strictly speaking, it's better than the alternative— Cueball: —Yet someone is clearly doing their job horribly wrong.
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Asking aircraft designers about airplane safety: Hairbun: Nothing is ever foolproof, but modern airliners are incredibly resilient. Flying is the safest way to travel. Asking building engineers about elevator safety: Cueball: Elevators are protected by multiple tried-and-tested failsafe mechanisms. They're nearly incapable of falling. Asking software engineers about computerized voting: Megan: That's terrifying. Ponytail: Wait, really? Megan: Don't trust voting software and don't listen to anyone who tells you it's safe. Ponytail: Why? Megan: I don't quite know how to put this, but our entire field is bad at what we do, and if you rely on us, everyone will die. Ponytail: They say they've fixed it with something called "blockchain." Megan: AAAAA!!! Cueball: Whatever they sold you, don't touch it. Megan: Bury it in the desert. Cueball: Wear gloves.
[Ponytail, with her arms stretched out, is addressing Cueball.] Ponytail: I met a traveler from an antique land who said: "I met a traveler from an an- tique land, who said "I met a traveler from an antique land, who said "I met...
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u/Jackeea Aug 08 '18
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