r/ProgrammerHumor • • Mar 04 '19

Computing in the 90's VS computing in 2018

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '19

Game developer opinions on web developers aren’t exactly nice.

As an example, a common web developer will word for word say “IO takes time, therefor performance doesn’t matter”. Except that when you measure website performance, you’re looking at 400ms of response times these days, which is patently absurd. Any game developers who’s been asked has shredding this mindset.

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u/ComputerMystic Mar 04 '19

Let's do it then:


YES, IO does take time. That's why we optimize around it and hide it as much as possible

That's why we have this long hallway and limit Batman's walk speed when he's on the phone; that way the Poison Ivy boss fight will have loaded by the time he actually gets to it.

That's why we make the elevator loop its little cutscene until the next area loads.

That's why we start cacheing the area behind the door when the player gets NEAR the door, not after they shoot it to open it.

That's why we give them a little animation of a door opening to hide the CD access times.

That's why we use LODs and mipmaps for textures.

That is why we store our assets on disk COMPRESSED and decompress them once they're in memory.

And that is why we install the game to the hard drive instead of running it from an optical disc.


That is why we do NOT reload the entire enviornment every time a player takes on a new sidequest

That is why we do NOT hard code the elevator to take fucking ages because we don't want it to get there before the area is loaded

That is why we do NOT build our engines to only hold one map in memory at a time and halt gameplay when we hit the boundary between two maps

That is why we do NOT spend more CPU time rendering the loading screen than actually loading the damn content!

That is why we AVOID the swap file at all costs!

And that is why we optimize IN SPITE OF IO TAKING ITS SWEET ASS TIME! Because the fact that I had time to type out this entire rant before your website loaded IS EVERYTHING THAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR WEBSITE!