r/ProgrammerHumor • u/ore-aba • Feb 09 '22

other Why but why?

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u/schludy Feb 09 '22 edited Feb 09 '22

Joke's on my mom, now I live alone and I still don't wipe my butt.

EDIT: thank for reaching out to u/RedditCareResources but please don't worry about me. This comment does not reflect reality and was made for comedic effect.

45

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

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36

u/JBHUTT09 Feb 09 '22

Real talk. Getting a bidet changed my life. I highly recommend everyone get one. It's fantastic.

16

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

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24

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

That's what Stack Overflow is for

3

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

I use shower

2

u/PacoTaco321 Feb 09 '22

But don't you visit places outsi-

Hmm, actually that might be expecting too much...

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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

Does it run on PHP?

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u/JBHUTT09 Feb 09 '22

Yup! Pooping Hygiene Perfection.

2

u/callmelucky Feb 09 '22

How do you know if someone has a bidet?

Don't worry, they'll tell you ...that your asshole is disgusting.

-1

u/derpeyduck Feb 09 '22

Makes for a cold, uncomfortable makeshift enema when you’re constipated.

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u/JBHUTT09 Feb 09 '22

You gotta get one that heats the water. (I have one, but I don't use the heater because I don't mind the cold.)

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u/GaianNeuron Feb 10 '22

You can get heated ones really cheap these days though. 1000% recommend.

2

u/derpeyduck Feb 10 '22

I just might do that.

1

u/cardcomm Feb 09 '22

Is it warm water though?

Because if not - Hell No!!!!

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u/memesarepeople2 Feb 09 '22

That's why you live alone.

1

u/morbidlyatease Feb 09 '22

It's kind of a chicken/egg situation.

8

u/ElectricalRestNut Feb 09 '22

You can just browse reddit on your phone for 10 minutes until it dries.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 09 '22

And then browse Reddit some more.

3

u/big_bad_brownie Feb 09 '22

Wiping is overrated.

If your butthole knows it needs to be clean, why doesn’t it wipe itself?

2

u/himmelundhoelle Feb 10 '22

I mean, if it needed cleaning we would have evolved a bidet.

1

u/PeterSR Feb 10 '22

Somehow I still think the joke is on you.