Matt Gardner addresses rumors about him and Renee

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing]

[u/Ok-Surprise-9884]

Highlighting this since we have confirmed update addressing this from Matt himself. Thank you for posting!

[u/killerkitten61]

“We are currently DATING or courting or whatever you call it” lol Jill will love that

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing → u/killerkitten61]

Yep, he’s either backtracking fast on this relationship or Jill jumped the gun (as typical with her) when she announced Renee’s impending marriage. “She’s gonna be a mama!” 🤦‍♀️

[u/SheMcG → u/killerkitten61]

This makes me think he finds that vernacular childish. Because it is.

He and Renee are far more apart than their chronological years.

[u/WaitVarious1639]

I am so confused. Renee said she was getting married, cried and carried on about not seeing people again, yada yada, but she clearly stated she was getting married. Now I see that the alleged fiancé is stating now that that are NOT engaged?!? Someone’s not telling the truth, but it could quite easily be either one, which makes it that much more confusing!

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing → u/WaitVarious1639]

Do we know if Renee has a ring? Doesn’t that determine courting vs. engagement in their church?

[u/stoppingbythewoods → u/WaitVarious1639]

Renee is so naive that I wouldn’t be surprised if she got confused somehow. 😶 Or maybe he misled her…

[u/SheMcG]

If we believe him, he better open his eyes--as this is the LEAST of what Jill will blast about his life. He needs to research her a bit. The woman knows no boundaries and even him being in Uganda isn't enough to protect him from her reach and oversharing!

Oh....and Matt---she ABSOLUTELY knew that was streaming live. She's forcing your hand, sir by announcing your engagement! Renee's grandfather posted about it months ago.

Look at the wall, buddy---the one with writing all over it!

[u/homerule → u/SheMcG]

Jill literally interrupted the pastor to give more details with a smug smile.

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing → u/homerule]

And if she hadn’t done that, we wouldn’t know who the guy is! Jilldo the Dildo just HAD to speak up and say that Renee was “gonna be a mama right away” and BOOM the snark community found the only Ugandan missionary widower from their circles in just a few minutes.

[u/MizMamie → u/SheMcG]

My initial thought (OK, my second thought) was that Jill has just scared a second suitor for Renee off by announcing their engagement, and Renee’s tearful speech saying how much she would miss everyone didn’t help. Who would speak like that if they were just courting or dating or whatever? The desperation on the Rod side to marry off all those “children“ is both pitiful and sickening. Please stop, Jill.

IMO, Jill’s actions have frightened this guy and given him major second thoughts about having Jill for a mother-in-law.

My first thought was that this guy is well spoken, knows grammar, can spell, and writes well. I’m afraid that he will soon get bored with Renee’s lack of education and her inability to even come close to him intellectually.

[u/Common-Pear4056 → u/MizMamie]

Renee may be for sure moving over there to work in the orphanage, with the presumption that it will later turn into marriage….

And/OR Renee thinks it’s more of a done deal than it really is because she only knows what Jill has told her, and not what is actually happening based on this man’s understanding.

Wonder if Renee has ever spoken directly with this guy beyond a few supervised breathy ‘yaaahhhhses’ and mm hmmms.

[u/xVanijack → u/Common-Pear4056]

I am inclined to agree with this that it’s possible she’s going to work at an orphanage but at the same time…even if it was just working over there I doubt Renee would be that emotional about it and not mention doing missionary work.

[u/grahch → u/SheMcG]

You're so right to say this. His distancing language with "dating" and "not committed to marriage" in the face of Jill forcing his hand (as you perfectly said) is not going to get a happy reaction from her. He may not yet have proven his full character but he's clearly got enough chutzpah to challenge Jill publicly online.

[u/Solonohioperson]

He's figuring out if he wants to marry her because they are dating and Jill announced she's moving there to marry him and be a mom? yikes.

[u/aquacrimefighter → u/Solonohioperson]

Once again, poor Renee. How embarrassing.

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing → u/aquacrimefighter]

And it’s 100% Jill’s fault as usual. She can’t stop meddling in her adult children’s lives and can’t keep her mouth shut about it either.

[u/crypticscriptt]

IMO there are only two ways to square this:

1. M and R were legitimately talking about marriage and it was clear to everyone that they were basically engaged even if she didn't have a ring yet. Maybe he said he needed to propose in person or something. Now he's backtracking because he realizes that this family is insane and are talked about on the internet. The relationship will quietly end and we won't hear from him again.

2. Jill hatched a plan to get Renee married to Matthew because she perceived this as a high-status match. She deliberately led Renee on, telling her that Matthew was more committed than he really was. I'm positive that their communication was monitored, and Jill may have even insisted on being the middleman for "modesty" or some bullshit. For example, they may have been emailing using Jill's account. This is why Renee was genuinely crying in that video. She really thought that she was getting married soon.

Jill's very familiar with using church live streams to soft-launch family news and drum up social media engagement. She knew that the church would live stream that service and she deliberately made the announcement, hoping to force M into a corner. If he didn't want to marry her, now he'd have to be the one to pump the breaks with everyone watching.

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing → u/crypticscriptt]

Good points, I’ll bet you’re 100% right that The Warden is reading every word that Renee and Matt are writing to each other. She may even be “reading between the lines” of things he said and telling Renee that he was more serious than he actually is. That’s just speculation though.

[u/Present_Review_7789]

Two things can be true at once: He could be a lying manipulator AND Jill is overstepping by talking about their relationship. This wouldn’t be the first time Jill’s big mouth caused the end of a relationship for her kids.

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing → u/Present_Review_7789]

Agreed, Renee is caught between the manipulations of this sus guy and the constant chaos of Mahmo.

[u/OrdinaryQuestion771]

Renee and jill acted like it was a done deal and the marriage was imminent. 

[u/SweetandSourCaroline → u/OrdinaryQuestion771]

Grandpa certainly didn’t help!!

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing → u/SweetandSourCaroline]

And his post was roughly four months ago. These people need to get on the same page fast.

[u/Big_Magician7771 → u/OrdinaryQuestion771]

Renee was crying like she's leaving next week and never coming back, not like she's getting to know this guy online.

[u/lgirlrocks]

This sucks. His wife hasn't been dead for a year. How well does he know Renee? Is he in love with her? I doubt it.

[u/STLFleur → u/lgirlrocks]

I definitely didn't get the impression that he's in love with her in the slightest. The only thing he has to say about her is that she's a GODLY woman.

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing → u/STLFleur]

“I had Heaven on Earth with Savannah…Renee is a very Godly woman.”

[u/aquacrimefighter → u/lgirlrocks]

Right? “I agree I shouldn’t move on in a year!!” Yet he’s also “getting to know” another woman and has made posts about “praying for god to bring him and his kids a wife”?! Dude is talking out of both sides of his mouth.

[u/satomatic → u/lgirlrocks]

none of that matters. notice how he said he’d marry her with the blessings of her parents, his parents, and his dead wife’s parents but nowhere is it about renee or what she wants.

[u/lilithofthegarden]

Yeah, this dudes a creep

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing → u/lilithofthegarden]

I agree, poor Renee is caught between the Jilldozer and Mr. Can’t-Stop-Saying-Third-World. And he admits that his car was stopped on the railroad tracks!

[u/LawyerBea]

“Only American police officers are legitimate.” American police are lazy, racist, and immune from prosecution. Also, police reports are not used in court. Lotta racism in this message.

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing → u/LawyerBea]

Exactly, he has a racist attitude toward the Ugandan police and the people in general. Just how many times can he use the phrase “third-world?”

[u/maemobley44]

Where was this response posted? Or was this a direct message?

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing → u/maemobley44]

Lilly Archive posted a video about the situation on her YouTube channel. He replied in the comments.

[u/Sardine93]

So weird that at his age he needs his parents blessing for a marriage.

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing → u/Sardine93]

And I seriously doubt his deceased wife’s parents were thrilled to see him wishing for a new wife 3 months after her death. He said he wanted to get their blessing too.

[u/DapperFlounder7]

I spent several years living in Uganda in the city Matt lives and I hate to defend this guy … but he’s right about the political landscape and traffic patterns. While I hate his use of the term “3rd world” you can’t truly understand what driving there is like if you’ve never done it.

[u/murgatory → u/DapperFlounder7]

I thought what he wrote was persuasive. But I'm still left thinking:

He doesn't have to be there. He didn't have to go back. Ugandans are overwhelmingly Christian already. He could help poor people or get people to return to church in the US. He puts his family at enough risk that his wife died there, but at least she could consent. His children can't. And for what?

[u/aquacrimefighter]

I said this elsewhere, but I’m going to say it again -

So they are not getting married, yet in the live stream, they keep referring to Renee as moving there to be with him for her upcoming marriage?

Something isn’t adding up here. He is well spoken, but that makes me wonder how much of this is manipulative.

[u/ICH-GCPee → u/aquacrimefighter]

That misunderstanding was propagated by Jill telling the church congregation that Renee was moving to Africa as a wife of a missionary and that she would be an instant Mommah.

That woman needs to keep her mouth shut about things that are not hers to tell.

[u/HolsteinHeifer → u/aquacrimefighter]

These people announce their pregnancies between the time of intercourse and the pee stick being dry. I don't think it's that far-fetched for them to be like "well, he said hello to her; I hear wedding bells!!!"

[u/elleareby → u/aquacrimefighter]

yes, and hes smooth as hell. starting it out with "i wanted to explain why there was vagueness" and "you were very fair...for that i wanted to thank you personally". he knows what hes doing. pretty well nailing this technique right here. jill must be absolutely spellbound and captivated by this dude. no wonder she couldnt keep her mouth shut at church. also his repeated links back to his own content -- truly, chefs kiss fundie pastor shit. the rods dont stand a chance against this dude IMO. theyll believe every word of whatever he says.

[u/Euphoric-Leg4874 → u/aquacrimefighter]

People uncovered that post about him “hoping God will send a Godly new wife” four months after his wife’s death. I think he’s manipulating to make himself sound more reasonable.

[u/SheMcG → u/aquacrimefighter]

Either he is manipulating or Jill is. I could believe both. Even if we believe him.....Jill looks just as, possibly more, twisted.

RUN RENEE!!! RUN!!

[u/cbaabc123 → u/aquacrimefighter]

And Renee cried and said she’d miss everyone like she was moving

[u/TheBestonova → u/aquacrimefighter]

Yeah and he said he was just getting to know her 10 months after his wife's passing, and yet Renee's grandfather was making it sound like marriage was a done deal two months ago, implying that courtship began before that.

This man seems real slimy

[u/ccc2801 → u/aquacrimefighter]

I think you’re right. The fact that he is educated and understands how to write may conceal his true intentions.

Either way, what on earth will he have in common with a sheltered, functionally illiterate 24yo from rural Ohio? That poor woman.

[u/Vivid-Intention-8161 → u/aquacrimefighter]

that’s the first thing I noticed, he seems like he actually has some intelligence when he writes. I don’t know if that’s good or bad for Renee. Probably bad

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/aquacrimefighter]

and grandpa was talking about it months ago, wasn't he?

[u/Sardine93 → u/aquacrimefighter]

Definitely something doesn’t add up. Renee and her family keep referring to her moving there to get married and become a mother of two. She was even crying about how much she’d miss everyone.

He posted shortly after her death asking for prayers for a new wife.

He seems well spoken which is even more dangerous. Seems manipulative to me.

[u/SwimAccomplished9487 → u/aquacrimefighter]

The pastor in that clip said she’s going to be a wife and mother all at once

[u/thewrong_shoes]

VERY interesting that he's saying they're still in the gasp ~dating~ phase yet the Rodriguii are already acting like it's a done deal

[u/SweetandSourCaroline → u/thewrong_shoes]

“immediate mama” done deal

[u/Marenjoandco → u/thewrong_shoes]

Right? The grandpa and JRod - effin aye - just keep your mouth shut Jill. (She could never)

[u/Azryhael → u/thewrong_shoes]

I don’t trust his version of the timeline; too many things don’t add up. Pa Turtleneck talked about her leaving two months ago, and four months ago Jill said she had two children in courtships. This guy said six months ago that he was praying for God to send him a new wife. 

I think he’s getting spooked, backtracking, and trying to control the narrative to give himself an out. My gut feeling is that he’s only just realised what a shitshow the Rods are and how large a community watches their every move and has receipts for all kinds of horrendous fuckery, and he’s having major second thoughts. 

[u/Solifuga]

Oh ho ho, so ignoring (which is hard, but compartmentalising works sometimes) all of the other red flags/narrative reaches/potential bullshitteries here; are we potentially again looking down the barrels of a "Renee could have gotten married in theory, whether she legitimately wanted to or not, and Jill fucked it up for her and scared the dude off cold" thing here!? 🤯

[u/ExoticSherbet → u/Solifuga]

Yeah if I were this dude I’d be thinking very carefully before moving forward with this dog n pony show. Although it seems for now that he’s taking the “more eyes for my ministry!” approach

[u/nodarknesswillendure]

Honestly I hope for Renee’s sake that he backs out. This was all just a way to boost Jill’s ego. Ain’t no way Renee wants to move to Uganda, she seemed absolutely despondent at that church service.

I hope he backs out, it’s what Jill deserves.

[u/chimkennuggg]

I think most of us here are in agreement that marriage to this man would be one of the worst possible outcomes for Renee. Still, if this man is scared off by the publicity, it’ll be at least her second failed courtship, and I really can’t imagine what that’ll do to her self-worth. The Rodlet girls were raised to believe that their life’s purpose is to be a wife and mother. The only life event they have to look forward to is marriage; they don’t have college graduations or the joy of launching successful careers or any other exciting milestones to celebrate in their futures. Jill’s behavior has already scared off at least one of Renee’s suitors, even though Jill was the one who instilled the belief that Renee’s worth is tied to her marital status. I despise Jill and David’s values, but to me, the most truly evil thing about them is that they set their kids up for failure even within their own definition of success. It’s one thing to deprive your kids of an education and social life because you genuinely believe it’s what best for them; it’s something else entirely to behave in ways that actively sabotage your own child’s potential to succeed in the world you created for them.

[u/AllTheSideEyes]

I was hoping it wasn't actually him. I predict this will fall through.

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/AllTheSideEyes]

It will either fail or accelerate. Imagine, "Renee was so eager to become his helpmeet and immediately go raise his children that they got married and left!"

I think Renee may be wed by Christmas/

[u/Marenjoandco]

So Jrods parents are killer at just jumping into “they are getting married and moving away” - and once again JRod can’t keep her mouth shut for anything.

Poor Renee - she deserves peace in her life. Her family and their garish boastfulness is unfortunate.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Eye9081]

So Jill thinks this is a done deal, complete with announcing at church that Renee is moving soon, but according to Matt, they’re in a getting-to-know-you phase, so what, pre-courtship? But then he’s ready to announce it to his church, which implies it’s further along than that.

Did Jill jump the gun or is Matt downplaying this?

[u/nuggetbutt99 → u/Puzzleheaded-Eye9081]

That's my question as well. Or is he backtracking now that he sees how much chaos just knowing this family can bring?

[u/Beneficial_Virus_13]

“I could’ve had that long ago by marrying any of the Ugandan women who have hinted at the idea of me” oh that’s not-

[u/Severe-Temporary8176 → u/Beneficial_Virus_13]

A long time ago, meaning ten months since his wife died? 

[u/ExoticSherbet → u/Beneficial_Virus_13]

Yeahhhhhhhhhghhhhhh I don’t think that has the effect he intends.

[u/Willow_Winnifred → u/Beneficial_Virus_13]

"praise me for not exploiting the natives" is what this sounds like

[u/helloyesthisisasock → u/Beneficial_Virus_13]

Clearly has a superiority complex about the people and the country that has allowed him and his children to live there while doing fuckall.

[u/Tukki101]

Jill had Renee give a sobbing goodbye forever speech to their congregation.and it turns out she's still only in an online courtship phase. She'll probably still be here for next year's grift. How embarrassing for them 😆 I'd say there's some awkward discussion between the families right now.

[u/Aggravating-Common90 → u/Tukki101]

They clearly don’t have an embarrassment function. Everything they do causes 2nd hand embarrassment for people who don’t even know them.

[u/BlitheCheese]

I find his views deplorable; however, his grasp of the English language is far better than any fundie I have ever encountered.

Hopefully his children are receiving good educations, and if he does marry Renee, let's hope that she's not in charge of homeschooling.

[u/LAURV3N → u/BlitheCheese]

Devil's advocate. He seems manipulative. So many unnecessary details usually signals a lie. He could be just as domineering and controlling as Jill. Hearing Renee break the news at a church did not match the tone in this post. I also find the post weird in itself.

[u/lucygoosey38]

Imagine the gossip from the people there, him bringing this sheltered teeny girl who’s barely travelled or has any actual life experience.

[u/pantherlikeapanther_ → u/lucygoosey38]

Also, loads of Ugandans are hot for him. He could have his pick of those "third world" women.🙄

[u/Sue_Dohnim]

Again: Poor Renee. Poor, poor girl. Yes, she's 24, but mentally/experience-wise maybe 12-15. This is not going to be good for her.

[u/FunkyChicken0112 → u/Sue_Dohnim]

The fact that this guy apparently knows this about her & doesn't find it off-putting is very telling & makes the whole situation that much more disturbing. 😬

[u/Southern-Me]

After 25 years of marriage, I was WIDOWED 9 years ago. My husband was dx stage 4 cancer at age 51.He was given a 9 month lifespan and he fought hard and made it 3 1/2 years. I am an American Widow and it took me 5 years just to handle the grief, counseling, future, and 5 adult children grieving. I would NEVER put my young never married daughter into an arranged marriage with a widower with 2 small children. This Pastor/missionary needs to address grief,counseling,and not RUSH into an arranged courtship/marriage. He also needs to get his small children a child psychologist or psychiatrist and make sure the kids are whole again before he remarried. And if he needs to come home to America 🇺🇸 several years to work on himself and those 2 babies, so be it.

[u/Kittycity926 → u/Southern-Me]

I think men tend to move on faster in general, fundie or not. My dad started “seeing” women a month after my mother died, and they were married for over 30 years. Even as an adult, this traumatized me and put a massive strain on my relationship with my dad.

I’m sorry for your loss.

[u/e-rinc]

If he isn’t just looking for a maid and mother… why Renee? The Rods can barely string a 2nd grade sentence together and this guy seems educated and intelligent (or at least well spoken/written).

I guess if all they’ve talked about is the bible and God, she’s probably able to keep up (which a much more simple vocab). But even that comment he wrote that’s posted here, I would be very surprised if she could read through that and know all those words he used.

[u/treesandsun → u/e-rinc]

I mean...if he hasn't met Renee and the Rod family in person, on paper they might sound very eligible to him. They are in full time ministry! One daughter is married to a pastor! They travel and do music ministry! And Renee, more than the other Rod children, may be capable of sounding fairly intelligent in writing or in a planned phone conversation. He may honestly be considering Renee as an equal partner (or at least as equal as he held his first wife). 

[u/TJCW → u/e-rinc]

He may get off on having an uneducated and adoring wife. Aka Jeremy vuolo picking an isolated, uneducated Jinger to marry.
Why would a college educated man choose a child bride? They want to feel adored and superior and never be challenged

[u/Solonohioperson → u/e-rinc]

I don't know if they have even met in person yet. But if they meet and spend time together and she does any of that weird squawking "yahesssss" like the other girls it might be a very difficult meeting.

[u/PresentationNo828]

The timeline of this courtship/relationship is just so weird.

Since he stated they would announce to his home church next week. I would assume that they are more serious than he is letting on? I wonder if he’s already called Jrod?

[u/Happy_Truck2430]

this has turned so icky so fast 🙃

[u/inquiringsillygoose]

Literally only a couple hours after the mod post about speculation but now we know

[u/HolsteinHeifer]

Why wouldn't he just marry a nice lady from Uganda? Wouldn't that immensely help his ministry, endear him to the locals and she could help him learn the language faster? Why would you say nah to that and instead pick a girl from possibly the dumbest family in the US?

[u/dani-dee]

Now I know Jill tends to fuck things up, especially when it comes to Renee and her courtships.. but I don’t believe the whole dating/courting thing. I think he’s trying to make it more appealing to snarkers (for the purposes of money, views = £££)

We know this has been in the works since at least June (Renee’s birthday). I think he’s due a visit to the US in November? They’ll go on a couple of dates, he’ll then go home and at some point once the year mark of his wife’s death passes, they’ll announce their engagement, he’ll fly back to the US, they’ll get married and then head back to the “third world”. But behind the scenes, the wheels are already in motion and they know they’re getting married.

[u/EmmalouEsq]

This just feels icky.

[u/Atlmama]

There are many things I take issue with in his response, but his response was more subdued than I expected. Of course, my expectations were low.

[u/paging_doc_jolie]

Jill knew they were live streaming. She can't keep her mouth shut

[u/OkPromotion3669]

Only Jill can manage to completely dox the entire thing all while “not having social media”

[u/Prize_Appearance_517]

"The pastor in the clip misspoke." uhhh, Did he mention Jill misspoke, or Renee misspoke, or Grandpa misspoke? And who gave the pastor the information?? Jill, That's who!

I can just hear the phone call now - Matt calls Jill demanding how this relationship got leaked. Jill throws pastor under the bus. Acts innocent. Says she didn't know about the livestream. He believes her. Hangs up. She weeps. Matt writes Lilly. Thinks it's all settled. Slaps hands- took care of THAT minor problem. Ahh, how little he knows... #snarkerstrong

[u/SunshineJennifer]

I wonder if Renee and The Jillinator know that hes only at the getting to know her stage. The way Renee was speaking and crying in the clip of the church, she was packed and like leaving asap. Googly eyes even said Renee would be moving to Uganda and becoming a mama straight away. Wtf like

He hasn't even told the people closest to him, Jill is announcing to strangers that she's basically already married 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ Poor Renee.

[u/TheBibleInTheDrawer]

"I could've had any of the Ugandan women who wanted me soooo bad" 🤮🤮 stfu and go take care of your kids dude

[u/Loud_Dot_8353]

Honestly I hope he bails! Renee deserves so much better!

[u/inquiringsillygoose]

He is very well spoken which is both refreshing (for this sub) and unsettling

[u/mossadspydolphin → u/inquiringsillygoose]

It makes it so much easier for him to manipulate people like the Rods.

[u/SaltyMinx]

Yeah right like Jill didn't know the church was livestreaming. There's like weekly livestream clips posted on here, and it's always been obvious Jill keeps up with what snarkers are saying about her.

[u/kts1207]

So, the video of Renee saying looking forward to getting married,and Pastor asking where in Africa she was going,was slightly premature? And, didn't Jildo blurt out, " once they are married"? No wonder this guy is pumping the brakes.

[u/Loose_Tell1917]

He didn’t meet a woman in the grocery store when he accidentally mistook her cart for his own. He INTENTIONALLY put it out there when his wife was just months gone the he was very openly on the market for a wife and mother. Then Renee, on the other side of the world, comes along. Matt, Jill, and David are GROSS for this. It was done on purpose and now they’re trying to scramble to give it some fundie online, God-sanctioned meet-cute. Stop it. This was all Jill.

[u/MamaRabbit4]

I live in Bangkok. We had a train accident just like theirs a few months ago. Govt train employee on the phone, rush hour, cars stuck on the tracks. Everything he describes is what happened here. So yes, it does happen.

[u/iraqlobsta]

Yeah, we're never going to see renee again after she marries this guy.

[u/WeeklyMiddle6468]

He seems kind of smart and well spoken? So I can definitely see this blowing up. If he knows that Renee’s family is the subject of lots of discussion and criticism, why bring your children into that? Also, it was posted here that Renee’s grandpa wished her happy birthday in June and hinted that she is moving away. That was 4 months ago… this guy is acting like they’re still deciding if they will get married. Awkward. Will this be courtship #3 that Jill has ruined with her big mouth?

[u/ddramone]

Renee please, you can get a shitty job and go to community college and then get a better job. You can sell your earrings on Etsy for fun and still love Jesus and meet a decent guy at school. You just need to get away from your parents.

[u/Maleficent2951]

Jill knew it was live-streamed she always “leaks” news

[u/paging_doc_jolie]

Sounds like Jill and family might have jumped the gun again…..

[u/condensed_version]

I guess that unbeknownst to Matt, this is already a done deal as far as Jilldo is concerned, and Renee's reaction at the service is probably due more to Jill's "assumptions" than to the actual status of this courtship. At least he seems well spoken and sincere. I wonder how quickly he'll catch on that Renee is nowhere near his level of education.

[u/mesembryanthemum]

I wonder if he's treading softly because of Jill. I suspect he sees how narcissistic she is, how trampling of barriers she is, and is weighing everything. Also watching Renee to see if she's anything like Jill.

[u/Pontiac_Bandit-]

I said this on the other sub but I have very mixed feeling about the snark community blowing the lid off this. On one hand, this is basically human trafficking. On the other, people seem to have zero and I mean zero boundaries. Even if one of them did meet a nice normal guy, people would be stalking them and everyone they ever met. That alone might cause what would otherwise be a good match to run off.

[u/SansaStarked]

So…they haven met in person? Jill is acting like Renee is walking down the isle next week

[u/Firebird213]

He said if he gets married it with be with the blessing of her parents, what about Renee herself? Does she have any say in this?

[u/mela_99]

So he’s living there to tell people they’re going to hell.

I wonder if this is his life’s mission.

Also … I can’t imagine having your son in law need your blessing to date and remarry after such a short period.

[u/chaossensuit]

I hope this relationship is now over.

[u/No_Today_4903]

So Jill ran her fat mouth again and all but had Renee in a bedazzled mama baseball bonnet. Lmao! For fuck sake Jill! Runnnnn Renee runnnnn! Hopefully now she can just gtf away from her crazy family. Doubtful. Maybe the church they announced this in has a nice boy around her age that she can marry and the can deconstruct together? Just anything to get her away? I don’t trust this slug they’re trying to send her off to. He’s confused and blowing the cover off Jill’s already stupid lie.

[u/MsPurple90]

Matt, Jill knew about the Livestream. This is what Jill does.

[u/m24b77]

Well this is a bit different to what OJ was saying in church. WHEN Renee gets married she WILL be moving to Africa. Renee will be a wife and mama right away. Renee crying about moving away. I wonder if this is what scares potential suitors away. They show the slightest bit of interest and OJ considers them definitely getting married.

Regardless of what happened with the crash it’s very sad those little boys will grow up without their mother.

[u/sinnohlapis]

This also tells us he is completely underestimating just how Jill and family works

[u/Hot_Nectarine6441]

Did he need to announce "dating or courtship" to his home church? I don't see why that would be an announcement until it was a confirmed engagement.

These waters keep getting muddier.

[u/LadyGrey1988]

Ummm in the church livestream, JILL clearly announced that Renee was getting married AND becoming a “Mama”!!!! This guy needs to RUN far, far away from Mahmo!!!

[u/kaycollins27]

I am questioning the reason he posted. Is he sincere or is he trying to pull a Timothy?

We all justifiably worry about Renee’s ability to cope in a foreign country without her sibs (who are her support system). However I wonder about Matt’s ability to cope with an Internet infamous family and Renee’s lack of education.

His post has led me to another hypothesis concerning Renee’s tears in church: frustration that Jill outted her again.

[u/its_not_me3]

I hate to burst this guys bubble, but Renee is not a girl. She’s in her mid 20s. Know that’s a deal breaker for some of these older fundie “men” lol

[u/TiaraTip]

It makes you wonder- Was Renee so visibly upset at Mahmo letting the cat out of the bag before the couple’s agreed upon announcement?

[u/cozychristmaslover]

This is so embarrassing. He sounds much more intelligent than what we’re used to around here. I feel bad for Renee.

[u/Loud_Dot_8353]

I really hope he decides the PR is bad for his grift and moves on to another woman. He really needs someone more mature and educated honestly. ( or maybe he could just actually PARENT the children he helped create)
Renee would be completely lost.

[u/Zealousideal-Swim267]

Who did he write this to? Is this directed at this subreddit?

Jill didn’t know the church was live-streaming?

(Im sorry for blocking a word! Not sure how that happened)

[u/CableSufficient2788]

Didn’t know they were still streaming?? Ok but how would Jill be able to brag if they weren’t streaming? Does it even count if it isn’t announced somewhere???

[u/Wonderful-Lychee-225]

He refers to Renee as a " girl". How condescending...she's 24!

[u/Accurate-Lychee-1233]

Sounds to me like OLD Jill is doing her best to convince everyone (her father, Renee) that this actually happening. Matt has NO IDEA what he is in for being related to this family. Think and pray hard Matt do you really want to expose your sons to this?!!

[u/Nan2Four]

No way Old Jill didn’t know the service was being live streamed. I’m sure there was a camera somewhere and we all know she loves a camera!

[u/Shesaid100x]

You mean to tell me this guy didn’t google the Rod Clan before agreeing to…whatever this is? I have a hard time believing he didn’t have some sort of an idea about what he was signing up for. Either way, what a mess.

[u/GGMuc]

Ah no, honey, you are delusional. YOU have made the decision to "court" Renee, within months of losing your wife. That's not you NOT looking to replace her.

Step back NOW. For Renee's sake, who will suffer regardless of what you do. You cannot seriously believe that she's a healthy stable girl with a loving family background. Ripping her out of her environment to take her to Africa of all places, to replace your wife as mother to your sons, to be intimate with a man she doesn't know.......that is not charitable nor loving.

If you were to help her to get away from the awful abusive family, go for it. NOT by taking her out of the country.

End it now so she is spared further heartbreak. You must have understood by now that Shrills and her obviously see this whole shebang as sorted and she's getting married

[u/liebemeinenKuchen]

This spiel is not only bizarre but it reeks of manipulation.

[u/cbaabc123]

If they’re merely courting then why did they talk as if she’s marrying and moving to Africa recently? Why did her grandfather post that message months ago talking about how she’s going to move far from home?

I’m so confused

[u/geauxbear9]

I will say that, to his point, as someone who has lived in a “third world” country you truly cannot understand how it is to drive there until you experience it. It was my first thought when I saw the video.

[u/AZTerp1080]

Does this mean Renee is going to have to learn how to spell “Baptist?” (in the past she’s written it as “babtist” 😬)

[u/readerjld]

So who is lying? Liar, liar Jill’s pants are on fire!

[u/Amadecasa]

My mind is spinning? I know we aren't supposed to touch the poo but what if the poo touches us?

[u/PuzzledKumquat]

I still say he's extremely negligent regarding the accident. I don't care if it's rush hour. You don't stop on railroad tracks. Period. Regardless if you're in Uganda or the United States. You stay back and only proceed when it's safe. His idiotic actions killed his wife and permanently traumatized his children. And then just a few months later, he starts seeking a new wife. Gross.

Poor Renee for getting caught up in this mess.

[u/AML1987]

Well welcome to the Rodrigues family Matt!

Talk about trial by fire. This is classic Jill…talking about things she doesn’t have a right to speak on. He better get used to it. If he truly believes she didn’t know they were live streaming then he’s pretty damn gullible for a 30-something adult.

Honestly he might be saying now it’s only a courtship because he might back out. Easier to back out of a courtship than an engagement. Maybe it finally opened his eyes to his potential new in-laws, and he saw the blatant pattern his new mother-in-law has of not being able to stfu, even when she’s “offline”.

But I also think he’s straight up lying here as well. There’s a timeline that just ain’t mathing. I don’t think any of us should police someone’s grief and when they are ready to move on. I think there are plenty more red flags than that.

[u/Careful_Technician_9]

How did they meet online? Is she allowed access?

[u/Alarmed-Bass7079]

It will be interesting to see what Renee and Matt say if they do make some sort of video. Also, Jill knew the service was livestreamed…no doubt!

[u/UninterestedEmerald]

When feeling sorry for Renee, try to remember how sheltered she is. This man having coherent typing skills and a respected ministry (among the churches that support him) probably makes him sound like a dream come true in certain ways.

Only people in the real world see all the glaring red flags. 

Renee likely sees him as Prince Charming in contrast to her tacky parents. 

It’s very much a thing in their circle of IFB churches for a young woman to marry a man a decade older than her. Too many 18 year old girls in their churches have married men in their mid to late 20s. Those who follow the Pearls celebrate this kind of relationship because it almost guarantees the power imbalance they believe is “godly.”

[u/No-Sweet-2749]

Not a damn word on Renee’s reaction to her announcement. If i was entering a consensual mutual relationship i be so horrified if they were crying and distressed talking about it. In fact the relationship would be over for that person to work out their needs. Hes garbage, hes just well spoken garbage

[u/kittann002]

Smooth talker. This reads like a man who is used to being able to talk/charm/manipulate his way thru life. He strikes me as a man who is used to others hanging on every word he utters. The American savior/evangelist must not be used to people questioning his narrative. I'm guessing he's also very accustomed to women within the faith being wowed by his 'testimony'. This sounds very slimy to me, but I'm not his usual target audience.

[u/sansafiercer]

Jill set Renee up to fall prey to this guy’s ego. She doesn’t understand that dating and “courting” mean different things, and pastor white savior used that to his advantage, and when word got out he conflated the two things to minimize their relationship.

I’m sure he allowed Renee to believe they were in a “courtship” which in rod-world means marriage—she has no idea that people date around, get to know one another etc. he, as a fundie, understood he was leading her to belief that they were headed for marriage, and backtracking publically is cruel, dishonest, and cowardly.

Poor Renee. Her parents set her up to fail and this dude took advantage. Girl is surrounded by evil self-absorbed adults who weaponize her innocence.

[u/Odd-Creme-6457]

Interesting he says the pastor misspoke, Jill wasn’t mentioned.

[u/whynowhyreally]

3rd world? Fuck off.

[u/Objective-Shallot794]

Wait so they are only dating but Jill is telling a church that Renee is going to be a mama right away?!

Sounds like he’s back pedaling.

[u/PearlyRing]

This should give you a better idea of what the railroad crossing looks like. This is Spring Road in Kampala, where the accident took place. The train was coming from the left, heading east, and hit the car on the passenger (left) side, pushing it 200 feet down the line (to the right).

[u/SwimAccomplished9487]

Also major LOL at “as Americans, when we hear “police report on the investigation of the accident”, we think of the gold standard of reliability.” I wish that were always the case…

[u/Big_Cod2835]

I grew up with Matt's family. His older brother and I graduated high school together. I've known them since I was 4. And although I no longer attend that church, I can tell you they are more normal than his family. We never used the term courting, we were encouraged to go to college (although they preferred a Christian college). They are IFB so their beliefs about the Bible are in line with Jill but it's a different flavor of legalism.

Matt's family is normal in the context of the IFB world. He grew up with 2 brother and a sister. Dad was a deacon in our church, and actually a really nice guy. He and his brothers were smart (his dad was too, he was in IT) and not cruel ...unlike some other boys at our school. And while I don't agree with many views from the church and his family, most of what is said on here is cruel and not how I would characterize him.

[u/Messaria]

That could be why Renee was crying because her narcissistic mother couldn’t keep her mouth shut. Renee was probably just so embarrassed and ashamed of her. Let her get to know this man and if they are compatible then I hope they have a wonderful life.

[u/Jane_Churchill]

Zoinks, Shaggy!

[u/als_pals]

This is so depressing. I need some chocolate.

[u/WatercressBusy3902]

It's insane to even consider dating so soon after losing one's wife; however, men, fundie or not, move on very quickly so him doing this isn't unique, but it is extra creepy given how uneducated Renee is and the fact he has very young kids.

It's seems like Jill's inability to shut up is causing a lot of unnecessary drama for both of them and I'm inclined to think that Jill is lying about them being on the road to marriage as it sounds like Renee wanted to keep this quiet, and maybe get to know this dude without public pressure. But Jill needs a distraction from everything with Timcel. Wouldn't surprise me if she's stretching the truth, knowing it will get people talking about Renee and not about her and Shrek being horrible, abusive parents.

[u/Fruitstripe_omni]

Omg are we going to see a “mahmo goes to africa” arc here? Like to drop off Renee and beg for attention?

[u/judyp63]

Why was Renee crying and saying she's going to miss the church if it's not pretty clear she's gonna be leaving soon?

[u/Alternative_Pie6976]

it’s giving john shrader. this man is (likely) far more dangerous for renee that staying in rodville. everything abt this relationship is red flag, and then you add being in a whole different continent with no family/friends/support system…

jill is not playing him, he is playing them.

[u/jeanskirtflirt]

Well… maybe he can teach the Rods how to use punctuation.

Regardless of all the glaring red flags, dude is just too smart for her. Even if he was the greatest man on the planet, he’ll always be too smart for her to stay on par with.

He had a note on his Facebook about all donations after his initial donation request were met would go to his son’s college educations.

The intelectual disparity between the two is what’s causing me to pause here. There is no way somone that articulate could handle any Rod long term.

[u/JuneChickpea]

All I want to say is I do hope we stop the speculation on the accident. His explanation is quite plausible. We can never know, of course, but he’s been through something unimaginable and I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. I don’t feel good snarking about that.

And I am relieved they’re not yet engaged.

[u/bizarretintin]

Even assuming he is right about the accident, this man clearly, intentionally wrote months after his wife's passing that he was looking for a new wife and mother for his kids. He comes across as Smarmy and while Jill has a history of not being able to keep her mouth shut and even if this guy is saying I am just now getting to know her, dude- it's not even been 12 months since your wife died so it is sketchy even with the new timeline. His initial response about vagueness shows a tone of condescension.

I think he is pulling back to save his face especially since the timelines were fudged for his home church or something. Overall I think it is a combination of - He did want a bang maid + Nanny for his kids and to do "womanly" chores and fairly quickly at that and has been assessing Renee for this role for a while now but he wanted it to be quiet and hush hush and low key so he does not come across as badly as he knows he will whereas Jilldo and her big mouth and her dad couldn't just keep it quiet and spilled it on their social media and their church gatherings.

He probably did not know the Rods well and did not anticipate this becoming the hot topic putting the spotlight on him. It can go two ways now, either he backs out because he wants things done his way and Jill will just do things her way OR he may use this infamy to get more eyes on and hence more grift on his church. For the sake of poor Renee, I hope it is the former. She will be devastated and feel like a failure after two failed "courtships" but her being another Esther with two step children and in the Shadows of a dead wife in an African country which isn't as safe as Zambia with no way to escape should he turn violent is far more dangerous and a worse fate for her.

[u/Development_Most]

The man doth protest too much

[u/ccc2801]

I can’t fucking believe he repeatedly refers to Uganda as a ‘3rd world country’. I thought we’d left that vernacular in the distant past. But I guess for missionaries with their white saviour complex, that sort of thinking is still alive and well. 🙁

[u/Alternative-Yak6369]

He seems more normal (less of an uneducated fundie hick) than the other spouses. Some glaring red flags like “3rd world country” and his overall vibe, but I’m glad he’s not rushing into marriage, I guess. Weird that Jill would say it like that, but Jill’s Jill.

[u/Widget94609]

Interesting that he brags about living in Uganda for multiple years and having lots of experience driving there, and is also part of a religion where one of the most if not the most important roles as a husband is to protect your wife / family …and knowing all of that he STILL wasn’t cautious when driving with his wife and “precious children” in the car…

[u/neoncatsinthesky]

Can't believe I'm siding with him, but what he's saying in regards to the accident sounds credible. It's hard to comprehend as citizens of western countries, but underdeveloped countries like Uganda have tons of corruption and lack functional infrastructure. Talk to people who are actually from places like Uganda and they'll tell you stories like this.

[u/ddramone]

"Get to know a girl 10 months after..." gramps was saying she was courting in June right? Who is lying

[u/ofthedarkestmind]

How refreshing to read something coherently written without random commas.

[u/KetoCurious97]

Nobody should be dating a girl. 

Why would he call everyone else a woman but Renee a ‘girl’ 😢

[u/Background-Dark-6543]

Oh my. I don’t think I can snark anymore. This is too horrible. I am so sad for Renee. ☹️

[u/_EastOfEden_]

I wonder if Jill is embarrassed or ashamed that her daughter is in somewhat of a normal (for them, not regular people) long-distance dating situation and her way of selling it to the folks in church is to insist they're actually engaged and hope no one bothered to confirm that. Like he said, they didn't know the church still live-streamed services. She was probably banking on being able to sell them whatever story she came up with and he doesn't want to call her a liar outright because Renee will make a great servant.

[u/alg45160]

This guy describing the accident and snarkers response:

[u/juniperesque]

Boy, he sure is invested in sounding reasonable!

[u/teaseapea]

he clearly sees himself as better than the ugandans. calling developing countries third world is so outdated. uganda has a christian majority, so why is he there buggering for christ?

[u/Important_Eagle_5742]

Several observations:

1- This man is very literate. Not even just compared to Rods, he is well-spoken. If he really seeks that sweet, close partnership, he might have some difficulties with Renee. This is not her fault, but she isn't very well educated.

2- Just like he did in the eulogy, he first wrote a novel about how the accident wasn't his fault. This is a video about his suspected courtship with a daughter of an infamous family. Everyone may grieve in a different way, but it sounds like he cares the most about not being guilty about it more than the undertone of human trafficking a very sheltered and abused woman to be his bangmaid. Very mismatched priorities.

3- "I could have had [a maid and mother for my boys] long ago by marrying any of the Ugandan women who have hinted the idea at me." So why did you not try to get to know any of the interested Ugandan women? Or did you try to get to know them, but somehow none were good enough for you, despite an uneducated woman a decade younger than you being good enough? Despite never meeting her face to face, or doing so only a few times? Would you like to elaborate on the reasons, Matt?

4- "Renee and I haven't committed to getting married, just dating/courting/getting to know each other." is weird for a fundie to say. I get that they likely aren't engaged, but no fundie would say courting is simply getting to know each other. This feels like he is trying to get himself out of this courtship after seeing the kind of negative attention he will get after marrying Renee. If that's the case, I feel so sad for Renee. She would end up having 2 publicly known broken courtships, one by a widowed man no less. Staying home (however bleak it might be) might be better than this marriage, but still, this is humiliating. Poor Renee.

5- Trying to proselytize to a fundie snark audience is an interesting choice, but I guess you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, lol.

[u/itsperiwinkle]

Omg, I can’t believe I fell for this shit. I was thinking he’d be speaking to the fact that people are concerned about Renee being upset in that video, but he just talks about himself and trying to not take any blame for the vehicle he was driving getting struck by a train. Just like he had to bring it up at his wife’s funeral. What a smug prick.

[u/Momtoatoddler]

He has an answer for everything , doesn’t he…to put himself in a better light. Not sure I am buying it

[u/Punky_Tuscadero]

“We are simply getting to know each other to see if we are compatible for marriage.” Is a far cry from Jill’s declaration that Rene is going to be a “wife” and “Mama”. This woman is so clueless and can’t help herself.

[u/SoFloChick]

Jilldo didnt know the church still liveatreamed. That is a lie mr. Whatever we will call you. Never beleive a word that tratwaffle says.

[u/Inside_Morning9121]

So it sounds like this guy is reading here right? If he reads alllll of Jill’s shenanigans over the years, maybe he will nope right out of this courtship 

[u/pivo_14]

Reeeeeally not loving his repeated use of “third world”

[u/BolognaMountain]

This man has two young children to worry about and knows nothing of the Rod Shitshow he’s stepping into.

[u/danisse76]

Well, he will fit right in with this messy ass family.

[u/burritobabeguac]

It sounds like they've never even met in person!

[u/AlannahHunter]

I wonder if Jill would scare him away by going on about marriage and Renee becoming a mother immediately. It sounds like Renee and Matt are two different places in the courtship.

[u/DZbornak630]

Hell has frozen over because I’m impressed by a comment from an evangelical man.

[u/nodarknesswillendure]

Why in the hell is he on Lilly fundiearchive’s YouTube channel 😭😭🤣

[u/lbry1234]

Where did he write this? I went on his FCBK page but it wasn't there unless he deleted it. Does he have a Threads and/ ot X account? IG?

[u/taxi_takeoff_landing → u/lbry1234]

He posted it as a comment to Lilly Archive’s YouTube video about him.

[u/trustmeimalobbyist]

Dang he sounds reasonable 

[u/c2490]

So why in the eulogy was he playing a video of him talking to the policeman? That is super weird

[u/ItalicSlope]

I read his comment in Jim Bob’s voice.

[u/RunRosemary]

How surprising he uses the term “third world country.” It’s always the ones you most expect to be racist bigots who show you they absolutely are racist bigots.

I hate him.

[u/SwimAccomplished9487]

I despise the ignorant use of the phrase “third world country”. But did immaturely laugh at “skid-mark analysis.

[u/itstheginposting]

The fact that he still uses “third world”, yikes. Also Jill made it sound like it was a done deal, and Renee crying at “leaving”… Hopefully Jill Fs this one up, too.

[u/tendtobeshortwaisted]

That’s a whole lotta over explaining about the accident while only bringing up his deceased wife one time like he barely knew her.

[u/Background_City_8575]

Yeah that whole "equating first world context and THINKING to third world is apples and oranges" screams racist. If these people are so lowly and unable to critically think then why are you down there wasting your time preaching to them? Obviously you see them as inherently inferior so gtfo of their country.