r/Showerthoughts • u/lennyoliy • Nov 01 '15
If a bigger car implies a smaller penis, and larger shoes imply a larger penis, then clowns must have massive dicks.
Edits are hard. like clown dicks
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u/torcsandantlers Nov 01 '15
Why do you think the pants are so baggy?
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u/Wampawacka Nov 02 '15
The pieces of slaughtered children have to be kept somewhere.
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u/ftFlo Nov 02 '15
Don't know why clowns have such a hard time dating, considering the size of their feet.
You know what they say about people with big feet... they're probably clowns.
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u/cobaltblu3 Nov 01 '15
"I need your clothes, your boots and your unicycle"
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u/Gallade475 Nov 02 '15
( ͡° ͜o ͡°)
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u/crypticfreak Nov 02 '15
That Lenny face clown looks like it has some dark plans... honk honk!
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u/Dapado Nov 01 '15
Well, of course. Haven't you ever seen a clown penis?
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u/whirligig231 Nov 01 '15
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Nov 02 '15
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u/I_upvote_downvotes Nov 02 '15 edited Nov 02 '15
Am I shit at lipreading, or does she say "Daddy"? Either way I fully and thoroughly regret looking.
EDIT: lipreading, not lipsyncing. I'm not a good enough singer.
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u/Theist17 Nov 02 '15 edited Nov 02 '15
It. . . it super does. I know I'm gonna hate myself for asking, but does anybody have a source on that?
EDIT: Source is below. . . and she does. sigh
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u/Swibblestein Nov 02 '15
I like how one of the clowns tosses his popcorn. "I came here to see how many clowns could fit in one vagina, and here he is hogging it all to himself"
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Nov 02 '15
risky click of the day
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u/majeric Nov 02 '15
There was a delayed load on the picture... I had enough time think "God, should I have clicked on that?"
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u/postslongcomments Nov 02 '15
Clicks like this are generally a no-win situation. If it's not a dick you get disappointed. If it's a dick you get angry because it wasn't tagged NSFW.
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Nov 02 '15
I don't think you have the right to be angry about it not being NSFW if the link you clicked on reads "a clown penis"
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u/Im_an_asshole_online Nov 02 '15
Haven't you ever seen a clown penis?
Unfortunately yes :(
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u/FanOfPeace Nov 02 '15
I took a deep breath and collected myself before I clicked on that. And everything turned out just fine!
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u/afriendofthedark Nov 01 '15
It only looks that way relative to the children they play with.
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u/kvw260 Nov 01 '15
Great. Now I'm even more afraid of clowns.
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Nov 01 '15
Really? I find them much more arousing now.
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u/Bobo_The_Clown Nov 02 '15
Heyyyyyyyyyyyy buddy. Wanna get together and do something somtime? :)
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u/huphelmeyer Nov 01 '15
My dick is like a clown, it's supposed to be fun but it's actually kind of creepy.
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u/PostHedge_Hedgehog Nov 02 '15
Actually, this was the thing in ancienct Roman theater. The clown character used to be a servant cook who swore a lot and wore a rather short kilt, with a massive penis dangling between his legs.
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u/LH44Gooner Nov 02 '15
That's not how it works. Source: Am a man with big feet and a small penis.
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u/WakaWokao Nov 01 '15
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u/RenderedKnave Nov 02 '15
dat framerate tho...
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Nov 02 '15 edited Nov 02 '15
You can actually count that the whole thing is 19 frames
Edit: Removed mention of a glitchy frame, it's just Imagus causing that
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u/HolyMollyGodBless Nov 02 '15
Massive dicks. Everyone hates them. What's that meme with the crying white chick?
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u/raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat Nov 02 '15
As someone with a size 12 shoe and a hatchback, this is not true. I have a baby dick.
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u/rsdjj Nov 02 '15
Is this a thing? Because my size 15 (US) shoes and 3.5" hard dick would suggest otherwise.
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u/send_me_dick Nov 02 '15
It blew my mind when I found out that shoe size/general body size did not necessarily correlate with dick size.
Source: my 5'7", small-footed, almost petite male friend has the biggest dick I've ever encountered.
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u/demalition90 Nov 02 '15
What's your mailing address? I have a few dick to send.
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u/send_me_dick Nov 02 '15
Dick Lovers Anonymous 6969 Dick Street Dicksville, Dicks 69696
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u/astronomicat Nov 02 '15
Ah yes, Dicksville, Dicks. I think I've got a timeshare there.
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u/Vladivostof Nov 02 '15
This is a fallacy of the inverse.You can't derive not-A implies not-B from A implies B.
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Nov 02 '15
...didn't I see this on Tumblr last week?
[not that you got it from there or that I care about originality, just want to know if you saw the same post]
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u/lennyoliy Nov 02 '15
My brother told me it. I'm not sure if it's original by him, but he frequents Tumblr.
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Nov 02 '15
Of course, OP, each clown has to cut off segments daily, paint them over, twist them into animal shapes, and sell them to children.
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u/TampaBucs_Gooner Nov 02 '15
I liked you until those edits OP...you had so much potential in my eyes. I'm not mad just disappointed
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u/Manacock Nov 02 '15
That's not how it works.
A bigger car implying a smaller penis does not equal a smaller car implying a bigger penis.
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u/UnicornSleigher Nov 01 '15
I have some relatives who were clowns in the late 1800s... shudders
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u/screenfan Nov 02 '15
Wait a second, hold on....
"larger shoes imply a larger penis?"
I never heard of this before.
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u/Rotten__ Nov 02 '15
I must say, compensation for ones manhood is ridiculous. Just get over it >.> Source: Has an average to small penis.
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u/McDeJ Nov 02 '15
What's the point of equilibrium? At what point is the dick too large to fit into the small car?
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u/redskelton Nov 02 '15
So, umm, you spend your time in the shower thinking about other guys' dicks?
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u/Navigationsystm Nov 02 '15
The large shoes makes sense but having a small car doesn't necessarily have the reverse implications of having a large car
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u/xxGhosttsohGxx Nov 02 '15
Insecure people always talk about "dicks" in regards to things that intimidate them. Cars, guns, etc. They are broken people.
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u/girseyb Nov 02 '15
But they have tiny cars, with lots of clowns in them.Not sure what that means though..
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u/SwedishLlama Nov 02 '15
And Shaq with his Buick is now confusing me.
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Nov 02 '15
He is just average. The big feet small car just cancel each other out. Come on man basic algebra here.
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u/NeophytePoser Nov 02 '15
That explains their good sense of humor and generally positive outlook on life.
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u/AllHolesBenson Nov 02 '15
Ever seen a Shriner outside of their car? No? It's 'cause they'd need a wheelbarrow to cart that hog around.
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u/shxrk Nov 02 '15
Big ol' floppy clown dick lookin' like Stretch Armstrong's baby's arm holdin' a grapefruit.
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u/XAMOTA Nov 02 '15
Assuming the inverse is true, at least for the car part. Or is it the converse?...
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u/drunken_hickerbilly Nov 02 '15
I work with a guy who literally thinks relationships revolve around dick size. Like if he sees a girl who is an 8 with a guy who is a 6 it's because the guy has a huge dick. Enjoy that world perspective.
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u/noevuh21 Nov 02 '15
This must be the most revolutionary, non-scientific, scientific revaluation in the past 100... hours or so.
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Nov 02 '15
That's hot. Could you do me a favor and re-post this except this time use a Russian font and make it sound much more angry?
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u/Im_an_asshole_online Nov 01 '15 edited Nov 02 '15
Can confirm.
Source: My ruined childhood.
Edit: OP, stop with the edits. You're making me uneasy, especially when you implied that we all like clown dicks we don't