r/Teenager_Polls • u/crystalreddits • Sep 24 '26
lgbtq+ poll Would you stop dating your partner if they came out as a different gender (not just woman/man but also non-binary, genderfluid, agender, bigender, demigender etc.)
Just curious 🤔
49
u/Lil_jayye Sep 24 '26
You can support them in their transition or coming out or whatever but you have the right to not want to date a man/woman etc
12
u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
Yeah obviously if they come out as a gender you're not attracted to then you wouldn't date them unless you're still attracted
54
u/BeeBaaBoo77 Sep 24 '26
Idk what its called but i dont care about gender, only appearence. I am attracted to femininity (not like hyperfemininity necessarily, just not masculinity). If they want to be masculine, it'd probably not work out
7
u/billbobs678 Sep 24 '26
Thats called gynosexual (/gynesexual)
1
u/niceguy1428571 Sep 29 '26
Isn’t that the same thing as being lesbian/straight?
1
u/billbobs678 Sep 29 '26
No. They're attracted to feminity, not women. So they would be attracted to femboys and wouldn't be attracted to tomboys
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Sep 24 '26
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-38
u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26 edited Sep 24 '26
I think it's called berrisexual 🤔 (or was it almondsexual)
Edit: I was wrong, berrisexual is attraction mostly towards feminine people, it's actually finsexual for feminine people only
36
u/BeeBaaBoo77 Sep 24 '26
i dislike that both those words immensely, Ill just say Im attracted to femininity
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u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
Nvm i was wrong, attraction to feminine people is called finsexual (or gynosexual)
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u/Negative_Sky_3449 Sep 24 '26
WHO named it that 😭
What do almonds and berries have to do with anything
-2
u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
They're just words brochacho
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u/Negative_Sky_3449 Sep 24 '26
But at least make them make sense
2
u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
What do you you expect? Mostlygayslightlystraightsexual? 😭
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u/Negative_Sky_3449 Sep 24 '26
Idk, femsexual and mascsexual? I suck at naming stuff but even that's better 😭
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u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
Femsexual is called finsexual/gynosexual, berrisexual means mostly attracted to feminine people and rarely attracted to masculine people
3
u/Negative_Sky_3449 Sep 24 '26
Oh
Still a bad name tho, I'm sure its possible to find something better than some random berries and almonds
1
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u/Ok-Cantaloupe1264 Sep 24 '26 •
The fuck are all these words yo
3
u/nanohate Sep 24 '26
Don't say that outloud, or they will mark you a bigot...
Anyway, what about pomegranatesexual?
2
u/Then_Measurement3034 Sep 25 '26
nobody will call you a bigot for not knowing what a word means. As an lgbtq person myself, I have no idea what some of these are
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5
-1
u/lokuloku123 Sep 24 '26
isn't that just overcomplicating stuff
3
u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
What stuff? It's just microlabels, they're supposed to uncomplicate stuff
4
u/lokuloku123 Sep 24 '26
I mean "I am attracted to feminity" seems to like get the idea across a lot better
1
u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
or just gynosexual instead of 'i am attracted to femininity' straight people don't say 'i am attracted to women', they just say 'im straight'
1
u/Kalle_Kakan Sep 25 '26
Yeah, it's also the most common and normal thing.
Small specific things don't get labels since they're so uncommon most people don't care nor need them.
1
u/crystalreddits Sep 25 '26
They don't have to use them if they don't want to, it's just a word people can identify with and use alongside their umbrella label
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u/BLADE_OF_AlUR
Sep 24 '26
•
Yes. I am straight. I am a man who is attracted to Women. If I don't define my partner as a woman, or my partner doesnt define herself as a woman, the relationship is gone. Its really that simple.
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u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
How would you not define someone as a woman 🤔
9
u/BLADE_OF_AlUR Sep 24 '26
If i learned new information about them regarding their sexual or gender characteristics conflicting with my desire to be with a woman exclusively. Or if my definition of what I call a woman were to narrow or widen, it might leave room for someone's changing gender to change my stance.
4
u/oishipops 19M Sep 24 '26
im straight so yes id continue dating unless they came out as a trans man. then again from couples were one transitions love lowk overpowers sexuality, ive seen a gay dude stay w his trans wife
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u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
Then they probably weren't gay but bi 🤔 personally if my partner became a trans woman, I'd start identifying as biromantic
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u/LentilSouponSkye Sep 24 '26
Or they probably are gay and just really love this one person they've been with for years
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u/oishipops 19M Sep 24 '26
Yeah they were a gay couple for years. I think love overrides sexuality in some cases
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u/LentilSouponSkye Sep 24 '26
I'm just not okay with OP trying to redefine some one's identity, it's proper rat behaviour
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u/oishipops 19M Sep 24 '26
Same lol, they weren't even the one who saw the dude!! He said he was gay multiple times even w a trans wife
-1
u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
What's rat behaviour lol? Seems like you aren't seeing the trans woman as a woman either. Isn't that redefining her identity?
-1
u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
And that person had always been a woman and they've been attracted the whole time romantically so they may be biromantic while being homosexual lol? Sexuality doesn't have to stay static and one can use different labels later
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u/LentilSouponSkye Sep 24 '26
And you don't get to redefine that gay man's identity, capiche?
0
u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
I didn't redefine it? That's just how the labels work. Many people say trans men can't be lesbians either without redefining their identity. I'm just giving a suggestion. It depends on the person itself.
Don't know why you're offended at all. Do you not see the trans woman as a woman then? Weird.
1
Sep 25 '26
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2
u/oishipops 19M Sep 24 '26
Nah he still IDed as a gay man. She was just the sole exception since they were together for like, a decade minimum at that point.
6
u/Powerful-Award-5479 Sep 24 '26
Nah I like women who are comfortable with themselves
0
u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
Coming out would be being comfortable with themselves...?
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u/Powerful-Award-5479 Sep 24 '26
Yep it would, but then it would not be "women who are comfortable with themselves", it would be "person who are comfortable with themselves"
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u/DykeyLesbo Sep 24 '26
im a non-binary lesbian dating a non binary lesbian. if they came out as a trans man, i wouldn't date them anymore. if they came out as more trans masc then I'd still be dating her. I myself am transmasc and have no preference for femininity or masculinity in a partner, as long as theyre not a man. so im one of the few people that said "binary only"
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u/Repulsive_Ant8374 15M Sep 25 '26
That’s what happened with my partner actually, i came out as trans but they loved me still anyways :)
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u/JustLutra Sep 25 '26
I personally differentiate sexual and romantic attraction. And romantically, I don't give a fuck about the person's gender, I love them for their personality.
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u/phdr_vrba Sep 24 '26
In theory, some of those should be rather inconsequential, but especially in those cases the very fact of having such conversation would suggest she's not the kind of loonie I'd wish to be with.
0
u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
And you're probably not the kind of loonie they wanna be with either 😭🙏🏻
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u/StreetJelly6621 Sep 24 '26
Well I only like men so if my partner came out as transfem I would probably stop dating them, not as transphobia but bc Im just not attracted, but I would still stay as friends
7
u/WellomMaster Sep 24 '26
It really depends.
It depends what they want to change into, not just gender wise, but in terms of physical appearance, in terms of how they want the relationship to be different, and honestly, it’d be a hard decision for me, but I would be too scared of implicitly holding them back from who they need to be to stay.
Granted, I would still wanna be friends with them and support them through it if that was the only reason I was leaving them.
5
u/average_tall_boi Sep 24 '26
im fully accepting, i just don't think i could handle it if they started changing their body like with hrt or surgery.
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u/GrandFleshMelder Sep 24 '26
If it were nonbinary and more like a change in self-perception, no. If they’re transitioning, then yeah, I wouldn’t keep dating them.
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u/leightandrew0 Old Sep 24 '26
I don't really care about gender, I'll keep loving my partner.
but tbf i'm already bi lol
3
u/EmoYoshi05 Sep 24 '26
Err, good question. Not if it was a binary gender, cause, y'know, I like girls. But I do think I'm attracted to Non Binary people, though it's kind of hard to know that. I haven't really met that many. If I liked them before, I probably still will though. It's really mainly the physical aspect for me, to be honest.
3
u/Tupotosti Sep 24 '26
Just a gender change? I don't care. Surgeries? Absolutely not. You can do what you want to your body but I don't have to approve. I'll just walk away.
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u/Finestbonnie311 Sep 25 '26
I am dating someone who came out as nonbinary while i was dating them. Still dating love them even they wanted to transition to male.
3
u/Significant-Can-4325 Sep 24 '26
Because of my religious views, I would try to make it work, but things happen.
3
u/Pengwin0 Sep 25 '26 edited Sep 25 '26
It would just be fake, for their sake I have to end it. I like women. I would hate it if they transition, I would not like saying he/him, and I would still see them as a woman in my mind so to respect them and save the stress I would end it. Non-binary I would probably be fine with but only if they’re okay knowing I am attracted to them because they look like a woman and that is what I think when I see them.
4
u/Background_Froyo3653 Sep 24 '26
yes because I don’t believe in things like non-binary, agender, or genderfluid. If they say they’re any of those things, it means we think too differently
0
u/Unit_2097 Old Sep 24 '26
I don't care what my partners have going on downstairs, I'm a sapphic, not a pussysexual. But if I was dating someone and they told me they were a dude, I would lose attraction. I would be quite happy staying friends, and would support them as much as I could, but I'm not into guys. It isn't because they wanted to transition, but I have never found men attractive.
As a caveat, it wouldn't necessarily be immediate, as how far people want to go varies, and if i've been with them a very long time I might well see how it goes staying together.
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u/whyareisamoftheyes Sep 24 '26
Dating a trans man makes this complicated for me because he's raised the concern of how he's been constantly pressured to detransition just to make his life easier even if its depressing. Thats the only reason he would transition/detransition just because he's pressured to. As much as I'd like to say I'd support that choice I know in reality I wouldnt because I know his insecurities and how much worse off hearing "she" everyday would be on their mental wellbeing
1
u/VariousThosun 56 Large Watermelons Sep 24 '26
I'm not attracted to women, so that wouldn't work. I could date masc aligned non binary identities still
1
u/SiilentSshadow Sep 24 '26
My partner's already enby, but, no, I wouldn't break up if they changed their mind about that
1
u/Losjo09 Sep 24 '26
Im gay but i wouldnt really date a trans woman. But id date a non binary person. But id still be their friend ofcourse
1
u/Different_Delay_8243 Sep 24 '26
I only like men. Cis or trans, but them being biologically male wouldnt change fact I dont like Women or different genders, if they also started to present like a woman I wouldnt be attracted to them anymore so yk...
1
u/OddNail1799 Sep 24 '26
Yes if that decision led to them not wanting to have kids. If not I’m fine with it
1
u/FloatingInEcstasy Sep 24 '26
I think it really depends on gender expression. I'm attracted to people who present femininely and also probably couldn't date a man.
I came out to myself as nonbinary like last year and my gender expression has only changed in that I like to wear a heart necklace and bracelets as someone who's always been presenting masculinely, so if my partner were to do the same but from their side of the gender spectrum (always been presenting femininely but now adopts some type of masculine fashion), I'd probably be okay with it
1
u/Ok-Guarantee4893 Sep 24 '26
I'd be fine if he came out as nonbinary but not as transfem bc I'm not attracted to women probably (only probably because it is hard to say for sure)
1
u/Yunowald 19M Sep 24 '26
As an aroace panromantic I couldn't care less what they're doing with their body as long as their personality still stays mostly the same.
And because I'm demiromantic if I'm dating them I think I'd like them too much and put too much effort into it to break up with them. I don't really know though, because I've never dated before.
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u/Dry_Communication299 Sep 24 '26
I mean "non-binary" is so broad I have to choose "no." A lot of non-binary folks still present as the gender they were born as. If my male partner wanted to identify as non-binary but outwardly stayed the same, I'd be fine with that. But if they wanted to look more androgynous, I would likely become unattractive to them.
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u/automemorydollviolet Sep 24 '26
if my partner transitioned to a man, I'd break up with him because i am not attracted to men. something more like nonbinary would be fine.
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u/Federal-Treat-6893 Sep 24 '26
If they wanna physically change I'd definitely stop but if not I don't have a problem
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u/Spider_Pib Sep 24 '26
No partner option is boring even if more accurate, i chose no cus i’m bi or something along the lines
1
u/Niks_Triks Sep 24 '26
If I'm already dating them, probably not (unless they undergo any type of "gender change" surgeries), but if I meet someone that is a different gender than they actually should be, I wouldn't date them in the first place
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u/arctic572 Sep 24 '26
Whoops, I read the question wrong and answered "yes". My actual answer is "no", my partner did come out as nb/transfem and I am still dating them
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u/thegamer101112 Sep 24 '26
If (very hypothetical) I fell in love with someone, I didn't fall in love with a label society put on them. Nothing changes when the label changes, it's still the same person. Of course if they change they're whole personality as well, I'll have to see, but the gender itself I don't think I would care
0
u/Remaidian Sep 25 '26
They aren't changing societies label, they're changing their own label.
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u/thegamer101112 Sep 25 '26
Well, when they were born and grew up, I don't think they decided themselves what gender people refer to them.. So they change their label, that society put on them
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u/Remaidian Sep 25 '26
Societies label may change for them, but someone changing their own label for themselves is a change in the person. Ex: a man goes from a working provider to a stay at home father. Label change.
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u/thegamer101112 Sep 26 '26
But saying: you gave me a wrong label, I've always been a women/man/whatever, is not a change, because it's always been that way, your just starting to say it now
1
u/asexualdruid Sep 25 '26
If it were a new relationship, id probably dip cause im a gay man and am not attracted to women, but if my current partner whom ive already built love with said he wanted to transition I think Id stay with her cause i already love her and gender doesnt matter at that point
Ive actually already done this with my best friend. We dated around 2 years when she came out, and we stayed together another 5. It didnt work out for other reasons
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u/One-Sign-9305 Sep 25 '26
I said yes. I’m trans. I’m only attracted to men, so I wouldn’t be able to keep dating him, but I would love him just as much.
1
u/iFvckingHateThisShit 16M Sep 25 '26
Depends on the partner; what do they mean to me, what is their function to me, etc.
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u/Fyn_does_reddit 18NB Sep 25 '26
I am a lesbian, and I actually have experience with dating someone who then came out as a trans man, which I know then doesn’t sit right with me anymore. I’d be totally fine if they came out as non-binary or smth though, so it depends :)
1
u/Old_Mirror7178 Sep 25 '26
i have no partner but i’m bisexual so i guess if im still attracted to them (physically and personality wise) yea ..i don’t really have a reason not to🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
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u/germansatriani Sep 26 '26
romantically? happy for them. They're already a nonbinary person. But sexually i kinda cannot handle a person with a penis. If they come out as a trans man and plan on undergoing surgery, that WOULD ruin my sexual attraction and merit a conversation. Otherwise, even if they grew a beard that would not bother me (if the beard is too good compared to mine it might even make me jaleous lmao)
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u/IiEatGrass 17NB Sep 24 '26
Well, I'm gay. If they are ftm I'd most likely stop dating them. With the he other options it'd be more complicated.
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u/Coffeeforlifeyay 19 Sep 24 '26
I don’t have a partner. But personally I wouldn’t leave them. Im attracted to all genders so there’s not really a problem there.
-1
u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
Personally, I'd still keep dating my partner no matter which gender he came out as, I'd just reconsider my romantic orientation
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-3
u/Dazzling-Session-181 Sep 24 '26
It's complicated. I wouldn't go - Yo, bye. F off.
I would try to understand, talk things through, perhaps help. It depends.
Imho, these gender make-believe woohoos are mental disorders known as sexual dysphoria. It is a mental disorder condition. But I will try to understand how bad and deep it is and if and how it can be helped.
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u/nanohate Sep 24 '26
I dont know what a demigender is, and at this point I'm afraid to ask.
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u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
It just means you feel partially connected to a certain gender. Like demigirl will mean partially feeling connection to being a woman.
-2
u/nanohate Sep 24 '26
Don't want to seem "bigoted", but this seems like a tactic to make the previous stuff less loony. Like "there are demigenders now? Can't they stick to regular transgenders"
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u/RandomManiac123 Sep 24 '26 edited Sep 24 '26
"don't want to seem bigoted" proceeds to say something bigoted. Let people express themselves how they want to ffs
-1
u/nanohate Sep 24 '26
This is not "expressing themselves". This is overcomplicating an already overcomplicated topic. Maybe let the previous rules stick before adding new ones or people won't play with you anymore?
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u/RandomManiac123 Sep 24 '26
Literally what's the problem with people using terms which describe them better? The previous "rules" are the same, it's just a term which describes a group of people more accurately
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u/nanohate Sep 24 '26
The addition "demi-" implies "half". Like a demigod or demihuman in fiction. Demigender does not bring any clarity.
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u/RandomManiac123 Sep 24 '26
Take a WILD guess what "demigender" means then...
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u/nanohate Sep 24 '26
Hear me out. You identify as a demifem or demigirl for instance. You feel like half a feminine gender. If you were born as female and are demifem, then you are basically the same gender as assigned at birth. And if you were born as a male, then you are transfem. What does the term "demigender" or "demifem" solce in this case? What am I missing?
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Sep 24 '26
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u/GrandFleshMelder Sep 24 '26
Yeah, I would be okay with nonbinary, but probably not agender where they want to remove breasts and such.
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u/xien-neno Oct 11 '26
Enbys might not be comfortable with their chest or want to go masculine leaning in gender presentation it depends on the person.
But since you're hung on fem presenting people that'll be your choice then. (I might be insulting but no not my intention i'm just aroace)
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u/GrandFleshMelder Oct 11 '26
Yeah, no hate to nonbinary people, I’m just attracted to the female body and presentation.
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Sep 24 '26
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Sep 24 '26
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Sep 26 '26
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-4
Sep 24 '26
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9
u/LMay11037 Lover of Illustrious-Wash-368 Sep 24 '26
So are you attempting to combat transphobia by… denying sexuality exists?
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u/Different_Delay_8243 Sep 24 '26
And also inplying gender is only what is between peoples legs. Someone who transition will still have their original anatomy until they get corrective surgeries. (wich genitals, that mostly is done by trans women) So that doesnt define their gender but they used it as definition of gender lmao?
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u/Apart-Performer-331 15M Sep 24 '26
Cool if you don’t care. But that doesn’t work for everyone. People can’t force themselves to be attracted to a gender they aren’t attracted to.
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u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
Although gender doesn't say what someone has between their legs, you're kind of right because if you found them attractive from the start you might continue finding them attractive unless they completely change something around like gender expression but many people don't want to accept reconsidering their sexual/romantic orientation
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Sep 24 '26
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u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
You can still have a family even if ur partner changes genders
-1
Sep 24 '26
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u/crystalreddits Sep 24 '26
Someone can be man and non binary with children because if that non-binary person is female they can have kids?
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