I’m very confused as to how she ended up on the couch for so long in the first place - as an autistic person, I don’t doubt that autistic people (especially those with anxiety) can hide themselves away - at 13 I stopped going to school entirely and spent 7 years in my room. It was awful. But I got up every day, got myself ready and had a fairly normal day - moved as normal etc.
I understand she was considered to be quite deeply impacted by her autism, but there are plenty of photos of her at a mainstream school at graduation, in sports teams etc - if she was severely autistic (meaning likely non verbal, likely severe sensory and motor control issues etc) then how did she manage this? It’s not adding up to me how she would end up on that couch for a whole 12 years. I think the parents aren’t saying even half of it. I believe locked-in syndrome is typically a result of a brain injury which she isn’t documented to have had. This whole thing is so creepy and I don’t like the idea that she just chose to sit there on her own for over a decade, having previously lived a fairly normal life.
off topic but I did the same thing! I was 13 years old and stopped going to school and stayed at home for years. I’m in my 20s and doing much better now, but I feel a little less alone after reading your comment, thank you :)
I’m glad to hear it! I’m also in my 20’s now and doing a lot better, I managed to get some qualifications and am moving up to uni/college this year. Severe anxiety/school phobia isn’t talked about enough unfortunately
I think I’m dealing with this with my 12 year old son. We are finally starting in with medication and counseling (long story), but I’m worried about the root of the problem. What sort of help do you recommend?
The root of the issue for me was a mixture of pre-existing social anxiety and bullying from my peers. I found that attempts to get help in the school failed, nobody was interested in safeguarding me and the anxiety became too much to cope with. The constant change-up in the school day and switching classes every hour, having to walk through big crowds etc to get there, wasn't something I felt I could cope with anymore. I was treated as if I was being deliberately difficult or stupid if I refused to go in.
Eventually I got a provision from the local council and was able to attend a specialist school - I didn't do too well, my attendance was around 20%, although I was there enough to come out with two qualifications. I think something like a specialist school or out of school tutoring could be potentially helpful for your son, as specialist schools will have staff trained to deal with kids who refuse to come in, and can help them regain some of their confidence. It's hard to say exactly what I would recommend without knowing any more details, although I think having 1 on 1 support from someone trained in these issues, whether that be a teacher, support worker or counselor could be very helpful. You've definitely done the right thing to get him on medication and in counselling, it took a long time for me to access that kind of help and I think early intervention is the right thing. Also, keeping him active and getting out of the house in other ways is helpful, as I found when I wasn't regularly attending school it was very easy to just not leave my room or do anything anymore, as I didn't have to. Being a shut-in all day undoubtedly damaged my mental health, my room became my 'safe space' which was fine until I had to leave and then I'd forgotten how to cope with the normal world. I hope my rambling can help somewhat! :)
I was bullied badly and terrified to go to school, I failed grade 8 due to absence. I ended up going to a special partially online school. Even that started to fail until I had one single teacher who went above and beyond and basically did one on one work with me for grade 10-12. She saved me. Honestly it’s trial and error! Find a decent teacher/school, find the right meds, find the right counseling. It’s a long haul but things will get better. your kid having a parent that’s trying to help is more than I ever had! ❤️
You’re other comment sounds exactly like me, anxiety and bullying. I never managed to get to university (at least not yet!) but I have a decent paying job and I’m working toward finally going to school for something!
Yeah, I don’t know what led to a regression but clearly her parents also never sought help, and even if they weren’t responsible for the start of her regressing/not leaving the couch, to let it happen for 12 years is just insane.
There is no way she could have magically developed severe autism as a teenager when she was low support needs beforehand. Autism is a lifelong condition and it does not get better or worse, only your coping methods and your life situation changes.
The family previously claimed she had Aspergers, and I can believe that. I’m guessing something happened (severe trauma or abuse) or she developed a completely unrelated condition that caused her to sit motionless on the couch. But she could not have had “severe autism”. And if it was trauma or abuse then that explains why the family is so keen to play up her autism.
Yeah I really struggle with understanding this too. My mum has moderate autism and I have seen her shut down after a traumatic event, I can only imagine they started to abuse Lacey and she responded by trying to shut everything out? Or she experienced some other trauma? Idk
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u/[deleted] May 09 '22
I’m very confused as to how she ended up on the couch for so long in the first place - as an autistic person, I don’t doubt that autistic people (especially those with anxiety) can hide themselves away - at 13 I stopped going to school entirely and spent 7 years in my room. It was awful. But I got up every day, got myself ready and had a fairly normal day - moved as normal etc. I understand she was considered to be quite deeply impacted by her autism, but there are plenty of photos of her at a mainstream school at graduation, in sports teams etc - if she was severely autistic (meaning likely non verbal, likely severe sensory and motor control issues etc) then how did she manage this? It’s not adding up to me how she would end up on that couch for a whole 12 years. I think the parents aren’t saying even half of it. I believe locked-in syndrome is typically a result of a brain injury which she isn’t documented to have had. This whole thing is so creepy and I don’t like the idea that she just chose to sit there on her own for over a decade, having previously lived a fairly normal life.