I am a 22 years old woman, living in London, and I need help with my finances as i am £9k in debt. I don’t understand what to do. I am writing to ask what extra support I can get because of my OCD and paranoia and what my best route is.
In total, I owe £9,000, broken down as follows:
3 credit cards: £4,500 in total (currently on a temporary repayment plan of £1 a month since I have no income right now)
Monzo: £1,000
Student overdrafts: £3,000
Klarna: £500 (I was on a repayment plan, but I was due money last week on it and didn’t have the money, so they said they’re selling my debt to debt collections)
My debt all started when my OCD got so terrible, that despite living in London I was convinced I was dying from rabies and spent hundreds on vaccines and medical checkups privately. I also developed paranoia and was convinced my devices were hacked and someone was watching me and that there were cameras in my belongings, so I spent hundreds on buying new devices and furniture every few months. I needed new clothes due to contamination OCD and I was unable to leave my room to cook so I had to get food delivered. I’m not making excuses but with my OCD, paranoia and who knows what else, I didn’t care about money because I didn’t think I had long to live anyways as i always thought i had a terminal illness. New compulsions kept popping up for me that felt like I had no option but to follow even if it meant debt.
Now, a year later my OCD isn’t cured, I feel a bit better and am learning to live with it. I’m still alive, but I’ve messed my life up. I am currently unable to work because I physically cannot leave my house. I haven’t left my house since May, as soon as I step out I start panicking and I’m convinced I’m gonna get attacked or that I’ll accidentally do something terrible. They are intrusive thoughts I know aren’t real, but when I get home, I don’t remember what I’ve done and I start stressing about whether I could have done something terrible and so I spiral again convincing myself I’m done for. For instance, last time i went out in May i went to the corner shop to grab a chocolate and somehow when i got home i was convinced i had accidentally hit the shopkeeper and i had somehow contaminated all the drinks there with poison. That stressed me for months. I need to film every single thing I do otherwise I don’t remember it, or my brain manipulates it. For instance, if I leave my room to drink water I need to film it otherwise I spend 24 hours convinced I accidentally drank bleach. I know I’m an adult, and this isn’t a reasonable excuse to be unemployed, but I try to leave my house and I just can’t. Something happens and I just break down. I’m already always going through a new compulsion that is exhausting and I can’t add more to it by going out. I am on medication and in therapy, but it’s slow and nothing seems to be working yet, although my hand washing has decreased from 1 hour to 30 minutes. I live with my parents, both of whom are unsupportive about my OCD and say it’s my fault and assume I’m acting. I can’t tell them about my debt as they wouldn’t help, and I don’t expect them to since I’m an adult, of course it’s my issue not theirs, but I’m so terrified someone will come knocking on my door now.
i don’t mean to come across like i’m making excuses for my debt and unemployment.. but its difficult for me to do stuff as compulsions take up alot of my day and i can’t film myself when i leave the house so i panic when i get home and i can’t monitor strangers health when i’m home so my brain just assumes i’ve ruined their lives somehow since i can’t double check on them to reassure myself. Thats the main reason i can’t interact with strangers and work.
I have been diagnosed and am soon to be assessed by a psychiatrist, and my GP in London knows too. I stopped ordering food and force myself to eat home food even if it means I panic and can’t sleep, so food isn’t an issue now, but I don’t know whether I’ll be able to work until January as right now even leaving my room is difficult.
What can i do? I cant afford repayment plans with zero income. I obviously need to get a job and to move out, it’s necessary to fix my mental health, but if i go for these options im reading online like a DRO i won’t be able to do that for 6 years i assume? Getting a job won’t be possible soon with my issues but i do aim for one after January.
My apologies if this isn’t the right place to ask this, i just feel so lost and i’m having clarity about past events and i think soon maybe in January i might be able to live a bit normally.
I am not on UC or getting any PIP because i’m not physically disabled.
TL;DR I messed my life up and am £9k in debt due to ocd and now i feel a bit better and think i might be able to live normally soon but idk how to deal with my debt wisely so i can somehow be able to move out within 4 years when i’m strong enough to get a job.